Drake & Josh 4x3

Kevin Farley as Cop • Jesse Burch as Cop • Ryan Happy as Thug • E.E. Bell as Leslie • Adam Huss as Spencer

Drake and Josh are on their way to a family wedding in their car. Unexpectedly and in the middle of nowhere, the car breaks down. This wouldn't be much of a problem, if it weren't for the fact that they're the ones bringing the cake to the reception.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. SO ME AND DRAKE HAVE THIS GREAT AUNT CATHERINE. HAVE YOU EVER MET MY GREAT AUNT CATHERINE? NO? WELL, HEY,

2. LUCKY YOU. SHE'S ALMOST 90 YEARS OLD. SHE'S, LIKE, 90,000 YEARS OLD.

3. SHE'S NOT NICE. SHE IS MEAN. MEAN TO THE BONE. SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT ABOUT

4. AUNT CATHERINE. SHE COLLECTS HAIR... FROM PEOPLE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WELL.

5. OH, AND GET THIS. AUNT CATHERINE'S GETTING MARRIED. I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO GET

6. MARRIED AT 89 YEARS OLD? YOU KNOW, JOSH AND I DISAGREE ON A LOT OF STUFF, BUT I BET HE HATES AUNT CATHERINE JUST AS

7. MUCH AS I DO. I WONDER IF DRAKE HATES AUNT CATHERINE AS MUCH AS I DO. DO YOU?

8. TOTALLY.

9. WALTER, COOL IT WITH THE HORN. MOM, MEGAN, WOULD YOU GET DOWN HERE BEFORE WALTER'S HEAD EXPLODES?

10. AW, DRAKE, YOU DON'T EAT A HOT DOG WEARING A TUXEDO. THIS HOT DOG'S NOT WEARING A TUXEDO.

11. HA HA. OH, MEGAN, CAN YOU ZIP UP MY DRESS PLEASE? SURE. THANK YOU. NOW LET ME FIX

12. YOUR HAIR. EEW! I DON'T WANT MOM SPIT IN MY HAIR. YES, YOU DO.

13. KNOCK KNOCK. IT'S CRAIG AND ERIC. SORRY, BOYS. CAN'T TALK. GOING TO A WEDDING.

14. OH, WE'RE JUST HERE TO PICK UP SOMETHING FROM JOSH. JOSH, YOUR GEEKS ARE HERE.

15. I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE. MY EARRING BROKE! SUPER GLUE'S IN THE KITCHEN. COME ON. HELP ME GLUE IT.

16. OK. WHO'S GETTING MARRIED? OUR GREAT AUNT CATHERINE. ISN'T SHE, LIKE, 87?

17. 89, BUT SHE'S GOT THIS INSANE BEACH HOUSE IN LAGUNA NIGEL, SO IT'S MAJORLY IMPORTANT THAT SHE LOVES US.

18. WE'RE COMING! LAY OFF THE HORN, WALTER.

19. DRAKE, COME HERE.

20. WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU AND JOSH TO GET TO THIS WEDDING ON TIME WITH THE WEDDING CAKE. WE'LL BE THERE.

21. BECAUSE IF YOU GUYS ARE LATE, AUNT CATHERINE WILL BE VERY UPSET, AND AS HER FAMILY, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS

22. WEDDING DAY GOES PERFECTLY. SINCE WHEN DO YOU LIKE AUNT CATHERINE? I DON'T, BUT SHE'S NOT GONNA

23. LIVE FOREVER, AND I WANT THAT BEACH HOUSE. YEAH, SO NONE OF YOUR SCREW UPS.

24. WELL! COME ON, BABY. OK! OK!

25. ENOUGH WITH THE HORN. WOMEN. YEAH. WOMEN ARE CRAZY. THAT'S WHY ME AND CRAIG DON'T

26. HAVE GIRLFRIENDS. YOU KNOW, I THINK THERE'S A LOT OF REASONS WHY YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.

27. WE KNOW. HEY, WE BETTER GO. THE OBSERVATORY CLOSES AT 9 P.M. OH, YEAH. JOSH!

28. MY ZIPPER'S STUCK. AAH! WHAT DO YOU GUYS NEED? JOSH SAID WE COULD BORROW HIS LAPTOP.

29. BECAUSE SOMEBODY SPILLED BUTTERMILK ON MINE. I TRIED TO FIX IT. I SWABBED YOUR KEYBOARD FOR HOURS.

30. LOOK, LOOK. HERE'S HIS LAPTOP RIGHT HERE. JUST TAKE IT. ARE YOU SURE? YEAH, TOTALLY. IF HE SAID IT

31. WAS FINE, THEN JUST GO. IS EVERYTHING IN THERE? YEAH. GO. OH, HEY, TELL JOSH I'LL BRING

32. THIS BACK TO HIM—

33. CAN I HAVE A BAND-AID FOR MY NOSE?

34. IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND, SEE WHAT'S INSIDE, IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIGN,

35. BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND, OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU

36. HEY, JOSH, WOULD YOU GET DOWN HERE? WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE WEDDING.

37. JOSH!

38. CAN WE JUST GO? WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY? BECAUSE I WANT AUNT CATHERINE'S BEACH HOUSE BAD.

39. YEAH, SO DO I. THEN WE CAN'T BE LATE FOR THE WEDDING, AND WE HAVE TO PICK UP THE CAKE.

40. DUDE, WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME. ALL RIGHT? JUST AS LONG AS WE GET TO THE BAKERY BEFORE— HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAPTOP

41. CASE? I THOUGHT I LEFT IT RIGHT HERE. I GAVE IT TO CRAIG AND ERIC. YOU WHAT?

42. THEY TOLD ME YOU SAID IT WAS COOL. WELL, YES, I SAD IT WAS COOL FOR THEM TO BORROW MY COMPUTER.

43. BUT WHY'D YOU GIVE THEM THE WHOLE CASE? IT HAD MY CELL PHONE IN IT AND MY KEYS TO MOM'S SUV. NOW WE HAVE NO CAR.

44. WELL, I'LL JUST CALL CRAIG AND ERIC AND TELL THEM TO COME BACK. NO, WE CAN'T. THEY DON'T HAVE

45. CELL PHONES. WHY? 'CAUSE PAPA NICHOLS THREW ERIC'S AGAINST THE WALL AND

46. BROKE IT, AND CRAIG'S MOM THINKS CELL PHONES CAUSE EAR SORES. WELL, CRAIG DOES GET A LOT OF EAR SORES.

47. WE CANNOT BE LATE TO THIS WEDDING! RIGHT... OK, UM... TREVOR. WHAT ABOUT TREVOR?

48. WE'LL BORROW HIS CAR. HIS GIRLFRIEND SLEEPS IN IT. NO, THEY BROKE UP. SHE SLEEPS IN SOME OTHER GUY'S CAR NOW.

49. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A WEDDING IN TREVOR'S EL CAMINO. IT'S OLD AND GROSS. SO IS AUNT CATHERINE.

50. DRAKE, IF WE DON'T— DUDE, IT RUNS, AND THE WEDDING CAKE WILL FIT IN THE BACK. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

51. IS IT'LL GET US THERE ON TIME.

52. IT WON'T START. OH, REALLY?

53. HUH. THE GOOD NEWS IS WE'RE RIGHT NEAR NOTHING! OK, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TREVOR'S CAR WOULD BREAK

54. DOWN, HUH? IT WAS BUILT IN THE 1970s. IT HAS OVER 300,000 MILES ON IT. ANYONE WITH A SECOND GRADE

55. EDUCATION COULD HAVE GUESSED IT WOULD DIE. YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME SOMETIMES.

56. LOOK, WE CAN'T BE LATE TO AUNT CATHERINE'S WEDDING, ALL RIGHT? WE PROMISED MOM AND DAD AND IF WE'RE NOT THERE IN 48

57. MINUTES, THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA GET THAT BEACH HOUSE. ALL RIGHT. WE'LL JUST CALL FOR HELP. GIVE ME YOUR CELL

58. PHONE. MY CELL PHONE WAS IN MY BAG, WHICH YOU GAVE TO CRAIG AND ERIC. WHAT, YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR

59. CELL PHONE? NO. MINE GOT RUINED. HOW? > YOU KNOW... FELL IN A BOWL OF

60. SOUP AT SCHOOL. WHO ACCIDENTALLY DROPS THEIR CELL PHONE INTO THEIR SOUP? IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT. I

61. WANTED TO SEE IF IT WOULD FLOAT. HOW DO YOU EVEN GET DRESSED BY YOURSELF? ALL RIGHT, LOOK, YOU WANNA

62. PLAY PICK ON DRAKE OR DO YOU WANNA FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET TO THIS WEDDING ON TIME? HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT IF

63. WE CAN'T CALL FOR HELP, OK? IT'S 14 MILES TO THE NEXT GAS STATION. LOOK, MAYBE I CAN FIX THE

64. MOTOR. YOU CAN'T FIX A SANDWICH.

65. IF YOU MAKE FUN OF ME ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE WE KNOW THAT YOU NAMED YOUR FAVORITE PILLOW MR.

66. PUFF-PUFF. I'M SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU. ALL RIGHT. NOW LET'S CHECK UNDER THE HOOD.

67. OK.

68. WELL, THERE'S THE MOTOR. YES. A LOT OF METAL THERE. A LOT OF METAL.

69. I THINK I SEE THE PROBLEM. LOOK HERE. OH, YEAH. YEAH, THAT BELT CAME OFF.

70. UH-HUH. SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT? HERE. HERE, I'LL JUST PUT THE BELT BACK ON THIS PULLEY THING

71. AND YOU GET IN THE CAR, AND WHEN I SAY GO, YOU TRY TO START IT. ALL RIGHT. COOL.

72. ALL RIGHTY.

73. AAH! HOLD ON! I DIDN'T SAY GO! I DIDN'T SAY GO! HEY! AAH! OW! OW!

74. OH! AAH! WHOA! WHOA! NO, NO, NO!

75. COME ON, BABY, COME ON, BABY. COME ON.

76. NO, NO, NO! AAH! NO! AAH!

77. ALL RIGHT, THE MOTOR'S RUNNING. WHERE'S YOUR JACKET? IT ATE MY JACKET. ALL RIGHT. WELL, AT LEAST WE

78. GOT MOTOR RUNNING. I GOTTA GET MY JACKET BACK.

79. I THINK THAT WAS YOUR JACKET. HERE. JUST LET ME, UH, UH... SEE WHAT I CAN DO HERE. ALL RIGHT.

80. WOULD YOU STOP TOUCHING ME! OH, MAN, WE GOT 43 MINUTES UNTIL THIS WEDDING STARTS. LET'S TRY TO GET THIS STUPID MOTOR RUNNING

81. AGAIN. RIGHT.

82. MAN, IT'S SO DARK IN THERE, I CAN BARELY SEE ANYTHING. YEAH, LET ME CHECK THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT. SEE IF TREVOR HAS A

83. FLASHLIGHT IN THERE. OH, YEAH. GOOD CALL.

84. YOU LOCKED THE KEYS IN THE CAR? DON'T HATE ME. I DON'T HATE YOU.

85. HERE. WHAT'S THIS? BIG ROCK. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO

86. WITH IT? KILL ME. I'M NOT GONNA HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A BIG ROCK.

87. DID THAT HIT YOUR FOOT? YEAH. IT'S BROKEN. I'M SORRY.

88. THAT'S OK. MAN, I GOTTA PEE. YEAH, SO DO I. ALL RIGHT. WELL, WE'RE NOT

89. GONNA FIGURE A WAY OUT OF THIS IF WE'RE ALL FULL OF URINE, SO LET'S GO PEE. YEAH. OOH, THAT CACTUS LOOKS

90. NICE. YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. COME ON.

91. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY PARKED HERE ILLEGALLY. I'LL WRITE 'EM A TICKET. HOW COME I NEVER MET YOUR

92. WIFE? HUH? YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER FOR, LIKE, 3 YEARS

93. NOW, AND I JUST THINK IT'S WEIRD THAT YOU NEVER LET ME MEET YOUR WIFE. OH, WELL, UH... SHE'S JUST,

94. UH... SHE'S JUST SHY. YOU'RE NOT REALLY MARRIED, ARE YOU? WHAT?

95. OF COURSE I AM. YOU CAN'T JUST PRETEND TO BE MARRIED AND NOT HAVE A WIFE. I MEAN, COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU

96. TALKING ABOUT? LET ME MEET HER. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I'M NOT MARRIED. THERE'S NO MARISSA.

97. YOU MADE UP MARISSA? WELL, NO. THERE WAS A MARISSA, IN THE NINTH GRADE. AND I ASKED HER TO THE SCHOOL

98. DANCE, AND SHE JUST... SHE JUST LAUGHED AT ME. IT'S OK, BUDDY. I UNDERSTAND. I FEEL SO DUMB.

99. WAIT! WAIT! PLEASE! STOP! HELP! OH! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE MISSED EM.

100. AND WE GOT A PARKING TICKET. OH! HOW MUCH TIME WE HAVE TO GET TO THE WEDDING? ABOUT HALF AN HOUR. I DON'T

101. SEE HOW THERE'S ANY WAY WE'RE GONNA—HEY. HEY, HEADLIGHTS! IT'S HEADLIGHTS! ANOTHER CAR'S COMING. HEY! HEY! HEY, HELLO!

102. STOP! STOP! PLEASE! HEY, STOP! SLOW DOWN! DUDE, DUDE, PLEASE! PLEASE, HELP.

103. HEY, STOP, PLEASE! WE NEED HELP!

104. HEY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPING.

105. NO PROBLEM. WHERE YOU GUYS HEADED? TO OUR AUNT CATHERINE'S WEDDING.

106. BUT WE GOTTA BE THERE IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR. YEAH, WITH THAT CAKE. OR WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.

107. WELL, DID YOU CALL FOR HELP? NO, NO. WE DON'T HAVE CELL PHONES. BUT IF YOU DRIVE US TO THE

108. NEAREST PAY PHONE, WE'LL GIVE YOU 75 BUCKS. OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON. I'VE GOT... AN EXTRA 40.

109. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ALMOST 100 BUCKS.

110. WILL YOU PLEASE DRIVE US? WAIT A MINUTE. SO YOU GUYS ARE STRANDED OUT HERE... FLAGGING DOWN STRANGERS...

111. AND YOU GOT NO CELL PHONES... AND IT'S JUST THE 2 OF YOU. ALONE. EXACTLY. RIGHT.

112. WHAT ARE YOU—AAH!

113. HOW MUCH TIME TILL THE WEDDING STARTS? LESS THAN 15 MINUTES. NO WAY WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT NOW.

114. WELL, LOOK, EVEN IF WE'RE LATE, MAYBE IF WE GET THE CAKE TO THE RECEPTION ON TIME, AUNT CATHERINE WON'T BE TOO MAD.

115. OR MAYBE SHE'LL BE FURIOUS AND WE'LL NEVER GET THAT BEACH HOUSE. MAN, IT'S GETTING COLD OUT

116. HERE. HOLD ON. I THINK I SAW AN OLD BLANKET IN THE BACK OF THE CAR.

117. HEY! HEY, GUESS WHAT I FOUND. FRIED CHICKEN? NO, BUT... I DID FIND A TOOL BOX.

118. SO? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH TOOLS? WE CAN USE THEM TO GET US INTO THE CAR THAT YOU LOCKED

119. US OUT OF. OK. JUST OPEN THE BOX. ANYTHING GOOD? YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. AN

120. EMERGENCY KIT. YES! YOU SEE? AND YOU ALWAYS SAY TREVOR'S AN IDIOT. ALL RIGHT, OPEN IT UP AND SEE WHAT'S

121. INSIDE. ALL RIGHT, I'M OPENING IT. OK, WE HAVE... A QUARTER...

122. A CAN OF SALMON... OPEN... AN ICE TRAY... AND HALF A SHOE.

123. WELL, SO MUCH FOR OUR EMERGENCY SUPPLIES.

124. DUDE, A HANGER. HOW'S A HANGER GOING TO HELP US? WE USE IT TO UNLOCK THE CAR.

125. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. RIGHT!

126. YOU SEE, YOU JUST PUT IT IN OVER THE WINDOW LIKE THIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.

127. HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT THE SQUIRRELS IN MRS. HAYFER'S CAR? AH. OK, ALMOST THERE.

128. COME ON. COME ON, COME ON. YOU'RE SO CLOSE. JUST A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. A LITTLE TO THE LEFT, BRO.

129. YEAH. OK. ALL RIGHT, I THINK I HAVE IT ON THE LOCK. OK. NOW WHAT? WELL, I JUST HAVE TO PULL IT

130. BACK LIKE THIS AND— JOSH! THANK YOU FOR PUNCTURING MY PUPIL.

131. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! ANOTHER CAR'S COMING. SEE? UH-HUH. YEAH... YEAH, I CAN

132. SEE IT WITH MY EYE THAT'S NOT BLEEDING! LOOK, LET ME SEE. IT'S NOT BLEEDING. HOW'S IT FEEL?

133. OH, IT FEELS A LITTLE LIKE THIS. OW! YOU THUMBED MY EYE.

134. YEAH. NO CHARGE. OH, DUDE, IT'S A TOW TRUCK. OH, FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS.

135. HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY. HEY, HEY, WE NEED HELP. PLEASE STOP!

136. YES! YES, YES, YES, YES. HE'S GONNA STOP. HE'S GONNA STOP. FINALLY. YES, YES. HEY, THERE.

137. HI. HELLO?

138. NO, NO, NO. SEE, OUR EYES— YEAH, WE—IT DOESN'T MATTER. WE ARE JUST REALLY GLAD TO SEE YOU.

139. YEAH. LOOKS LIKE YOU BOYS COULD USE A TOW. LUCKY FOR YOU I GOT 10 OF 'EM. HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA!

140. IT'S JUST A JOKE WE TOW TRUCK DRIVERS SAY. HEH HEH HEH HEH.

141. ANYWAY, COULD YOU TOW US TO THE NEAREST GARAGE? FORGET THE GARAGE. CAN YOU TOW US TO THE FIRST PRESBYTERIAN

142. CHURCH ON SHADY GROVE ROAD? WE'RE REALLY LATE FOR A WEDDING. OH, WEDDING, HUH? SO, UH...

143. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GONNA BE THE BRIDE AND WHICH ONE'S THE GROOM? HA HA HA HA HA! SO... COULD YOU PLEASE JUST

144. TOW US? SURE, SURE. I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR CAR REGISTRATION. OH.

145. IT'S PROBABLY IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT. AND WE KIND OF LOCKED THE KEYS IN THE CAR.

146. WE? CAN YOU JUST OPEN OUR DOOR? YEAH, YEAH. SHOULDN'T BE ANY PROBLEM AT ALL.

147. THIS OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

148. WELL, WE COULD'VE DONE THAT. WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU? HA HA HA HA HA HA! OK, MAN, LOOK. WE HAVE HAD—

149. NO, NO, NO. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, WE'LL GET THE WINDOW FIXED LATER, ALL RIGHT? THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT GUY WILL TOW US

150. TO THE WEDDING. RIGHT. OK. I'LL GET THE REGISTRATION. ALL RIGHT, THEN.

151. LESLIE'S TOWING COMPANY, HUH? YEAH. BEEN IN THE TOWING BUSINESS FOR 23 YEARS. SO WHO'S LESLIE, YOUR WIFE?

152. NO. LESLIE'S MY NAME. SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT? WELL, YEAH. I MEAN, LESLIE'S

153. A GIRL'S NAME. OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? WHAT MY BROTHER MEANT TO SAY WAS WE DON'T THINK LESLIE'S A

154. GIRL'S NAME. WE THINK IT'S A GUY'S NAME, DUDE. A MAN'S NAME. A VERY MAN'S NAME. NO, IT'S NOT. LESLIE'S

155. TOTALLY— SILENCE! LISTEN, BOY, I WAS NAMED AFTER MY FATHER, HE WAS NAMED

156. AFTER HIS FATHER, AND THEY BOTH FOUGHT IN WARS. OK. ALL I'M SAYING IS I'VE DATED, LIKE, 5 LESLIES. ALL

157. GIRLS. OK. YOU KNOW, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. YOU CAN ROT IN A SACK FOR ALL I CARE. GOOD-BYE.

158. NO! NO, NO, NO! PLEASE! WAIT! DON'T LEAVE. ROT IN A SACK!

159. YOU HAD TO MAKE FUN OF THE MAN'S NAME? WELL, AT LEAST WE CAN GET IN THE CAR NOW. MAYBE WE CAN GET IT

160. STARTED. WE ALREADY TRIED THAT. WELL, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? GET IN THE CAR AND TURN

161. THE KEY. FINE. I'LL LOOK UNDER THE HOOD AND SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE

162. PROBLEM IS.

163. ALL RIGHT, GO. OK, STOP. STOP. I THINK I SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. COME HERE.

164. YOU REALLY THINK YOU SEE THE PROBLEM? YEAH. SEE, WHEN YOU TURN THE KEY AND IT WAS TRYING TO START,

165. THAT THING WAS HITTING AGAINST THAT THING. THAT THING THERE? YEAH. AND SEE THOSE 2 WIRES

166. RIGHT THERE? YEAH. I THINK THEY GOT PULLED LOOSE WHEN THAT THING KNOCKED AGAINST

167. THAT THING. OH, WELL, MAYBE WE JUST NEED TO RECONNECT THOSE WIRES AND PULL THAT METAL THING BACK.

168. RIGHT.

169. THERE. LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT. ALL RIGHT.

170. CROSS YOUR FINGERS. I'M CROSSING EVERYTHING I GOT. ALL RIGHT.

171. YES! ALL RIGHT! WHOO!

172. HA HA! YES! OK, OK, OK, OK. WE MISSED THE WEDDING CEREMONY, BUT IF WE HURRY, WE CAN PROBABLY GET THE CAKE THERE BEFORE IT'S

173. TIME TO CUT IT. WHICH MEANS AUNT CATHERINE'S BEACH HOUSE WILL BE OURS. OH, YEAH, BABY!

174. THEY JUST ROBBED US. THIS NIGHT COULD NOT GET WORSE.

175. IS THAT AN EAGLE? I DON'T KNOW.

176. YOU GOT A LITTLE BIRD POOP— I KNOW!

177. MMM!