Drake & Josh 4x15

Directed by Will Bardelli

Mateo Arias as Reggie • Joe Gnoffo as Theatre Goer #3 • Dustin Hess as Ticket Guy • Kelly Heyer as Monica • Stephen Keys as Theatre Goer #2

Megan's been extremely secretive and Drake and Josh investigate to find out what she's up to. The clues lead to a new boyfriend and all seems wonderful until they find out Megan's new beau may be trouble.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I TELL YOU. MY LITTLE SISTER, MEGAN, SHE'S REALLY STARTING TO GROW UP.

2. AH, LITTLE MEGAN. SHE'S NOT A BABY ANYMORE. I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS JUST NINE YEARS OLD.

3. I REMEMBER BACK ABOUT FOUR YEARS AGO. THE STUNTS SHE PULLED WERE SO CHILDISH.

4. HER PRANKS JUST USED TO BE SO SIMPLE. LIKE THE TIME SHE RUBBED MY CLEAN UNDERWEAR

5. WITH BACON FAT. LIKE THE TIME SHE BUTTERED THE STAIRS, YOU KNOW,

6. SO I'D SLIP AND FALL AND HURT MYSELF. THEN SHE GOT A LITTLE OLDER AND HER PRANKS GOT MORE CLEVER.

7. AND THEN HER PRANKS GOT MORE SOPHISTICATED. LIKE WHEN I WAS IN A HOT TUB AND SHE PUT TWO BABY SHARKS

8. IN THE WATER. LIKE WHEN SHE TOLD THE POLICE I BURIED JOSH IN THE BACKYARD. AH, MEGAN.

9. OH, MEGAN.

10. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, A MANICURE AND A PEDICURE. OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S NOT FOR MY WIFE.

11. IT'S FOR ME.

12. MA'AM, I—YOU KNOW, LOTS OF MEN GET— MA'AM?

13. I CAN'T GET THIS STUPID JAR OPEN. JUST TAP THE LID WITH A KNIFE.

14. THANKS FOR THE TIP, DAD. JOSH. JOSH. HEY, WATCH OUT.

15. OH. ARE YOU OKAY? I'M FINE. OH, MAN, YOU GOT

16. BROKEN GLASS IN YOUR ARM. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. CHECK OUT THIS NEW TOY.

17. CLACKERS. WHAT ARE CLACKERS? THE HOTTEST TOY IN THE NETHERLANDS.

18. WATCH THE BALLS. AND NOW, RAPID CLACKING. I WANNA TRY. HERE, HERE.

19. I GOT YOU A PAIR. SWEET. ALL RIGHT, READY? NOW DO WHAT I DO.

20. YEAH. AND NOW, PUNCH IT. OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW. I LOVE THESE.

21. I KNOW. HEY, LET'S GO CLACK IN THE LIVING ROOM. UH-HUH.

22. YEAH, THAT'D BE AWESOME. OKAY. WHAT DON'T I MEET YOU BY THE— BYE.

23. WHO WERE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH? I WASN'T ON THE PHONE. YEAH, YOU WERE.

24. WE SAW YOU. NO, YOU DIDN'T. YEAH, WE DID. WE WERE STANDING RIGHT HERE.

25. OW, OW, OW, OW, OW. OW, OW, OW, OW, OW. WHAT IS THAT NOISE? I CAN HEAR IT ALL THE WAY—

26. ARE THOSE CLACKERS? YOU'VE HEARD OF THEM? YEAH, I READ ONLINE THEY'RE THE HOTTEST TOYS

27. IN THE NETHERLANDS. YEAH, IT'S TRUE. COULD I PLAY WITH THEM FOR A WHILE?

28. SURE, CLACK IT UP. THANKS. HEY, MEGAN, WANNA WATCH ME CLACK?

29. NO, WALTER. OKAY, STAND HERE. YOU HERE. I HOPE THAT'S NOT ELASTIC

30. I'M MEASURING. WHAT ARE YOU—MEG— HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING

31. ON SATURDAY NIGHT? GOING TO A CONCERT AT THE MEGA-DOME. WHY?

32. BECAUSE WE BOUGHT TICKETS. NOT YOU. WHY DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING SATURDAY NIGHT?

33. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. BUT YOU JUST ASKED US. OR MAYBE

34. YOU JUST ASKED YOURSELF. YEAH, THINK ABOUT THAT.

35. OKAY, I WANNA KNOW WHAT HER DEAL IS. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

36. YEAH, FIRST SHE HANGS UP THE PHONE, PRETENDS TO NOT BE TALKING TO ANYBODY.

37. YEAH, AND SHE MEASURES OUR NECKS AND ASKS OF OUR SOCIAL PLANS. WAIT.

38. SHE SAID WE ASKED OURSELVES ABOUT THAT. REALLY, YOU'RE NOT A SMART BOY.

39. WHATEVER, ALL RIGHT? ALL I KNOW IS WHEN MEGAN SNEAKS AROUND BADNESS IS A-COMIN'.

40. A-COMIN'? WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOIN' ON WITH HER. YEAH,

41. WELL, WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT.

42. OH, I HURT MYSELF IN THE FACE.

43. WHICH LOCKER DO YOU THINK IS MEGAN'S? GEE, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT'S THE ONE

44. SHE'S STANDIN' IN FRONT OF AND PUTTING BOOKS INTO. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOUR SARCASM HURTS.

45. OKAY. OKAY, LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO HEAR WHAT SHE'S TALKIN' ABOUT

46. WITH HER FRIEND. EXCUSE ME. SHH. YEAH, GO AWAY.

47. YO, JERKS, SEE THIS? I'M THE HALL MONITOR. NOW, SHOW ME YOUR VISITORS' PASSES.

48. WE DON'T NEED ANY VISITORS' PASSES. YEAH. WE HAPPEN TO GO

49. TO THIS SCHOOL. YOU GO TO THE UPPER SCHOOL. THIS IS THE LOWER SCHOOL. MAY I PLEASE SEE

50. YOUR VISITORS' PASSES? WE DON'T HAVE ANY. THEN GET OUT OF MY HALL.

51. OH, OH, OH, OH, HE'S GETTIN' ALL MAD. OH, WHO'S AN ANGRY LITTLE HALL MONITOR?

52. THIS GUY. YEAH. YOU TWO JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE

53. OF YOUR LIVES.

54. OH. ALL RIGHT, COME ON. LET'S SEE WHAT MEGAN'S UP TO. ROGER THAT.

55. NO WAY. I SWEAR. WHEN? SATURDAY NIGHT.

56. AND YOU'RE SURE NOBODY KNOWS? WELL, DRAKE AND JOSH ALMOST HEARD ME WHEN I WAS TALKIN' TO HIM

57. ON MY CELL, BUT THEY'RE WAY TOO STUPID TO FIGURE IT OUT. SO WHERE YOU GONNA MEET HIM?

58. THE PREMIERE. AND HE'S GONNA BRING YOU THE STUFF? OH, YEAH.

59. COME ON. WE'D BETTER GET TO ALGEBRA. HEY, I HEARD THAT THING

60. ON MR. BARKER'S NOSE GREW BACK. AWESOME. GO GET TO CLASS. LEARN, LEARN.

61. MAN, WHO DO YOU THINK SHE'S MEETING AT THE PREMIERE SATURDAY NIGHT? I DON'T KNOW.

62. AND SHE SAID HE'S BRINGIN' THE STUFF. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE STUFF IS?

63. WHO KNOWS? POISON? EXPLOSIVES? EXPLOSIVE POISON?

64. MAN, I CANNOT STAND NOT KNOWIN'. MAN, HOW WE GONNA FIND OUT? OKAY, LOOK.

65. WE'RE GONNA BLOW OFF THE CONCERT SATURDAY NIGHT AND FOLLOW MEGAN TO THE PREMIERE.

66. SHE'LL SEE US. HEY, NOT IF WE'RE WEARING DISGUISES. INTERESTING.

67. YEAH. THAT'S THEM. HE BROUGHT BACKUP. HE'S JUST A LITTLE BOY.

68. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, WE'RE JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE. NO NEED TO— RUBBER BANDS.

69. OW. OW. HEY— OW. OH. WHOA, DUDE.

70. OKAY. ALL I'M SAYIN' IS THE NEXT TIME WE NEED DISGUISES, I'M GETTIN' THEM.

71. I TOLD YOU, THE COSTUME SHOP WAS CLOSED. THE TEMPLE WAS OPEN. AND THESE ARE GOOD DISGUISES.

72. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ACCENT TO TALK WITH. DOESN'T MATTER. JUST SOUND FOREIGN.

73. CAN I HELP YOU GENTLEMEN FIND SOMETHIN'? TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA, LASS.

74. HOW ARE YA? JUST HERE TO SEE A PICTURE SHOW, YOU KNOW? POTATO?

75. COME ALONG, PONTIAC. YES, LET'S GO OBSERVE THE MULBERRY BUSH. OH, PIP, PIP,

76. DA DOODLEY DO. PIP PIP DA DOODLEY DO. I'M GONNA START SAYIN' THAT. HEY.

77. I JUST SAW MEGAN GO INTO THE MOVIE THEATER. LET'S GO. TICKETS PLEASE.

78. OH, WE DON'T HAVE TICKETS. OH, WE MUST BE CATCHIN' OUR MOVIE. LOVE THE PREVIEWS.

79. OH, DOODLEY-DO.

80. SEE MEGAN ANYWHERE? NO. OH, WAIT. THERE SHE IS.

81. OH, YEAH. THAT GUY DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE SELLS EXPLOSIVES. OH, MEGAN'S ON A DATE?

82. A DATE? MEGAN'S ON A DATE? HOLY SHALALEE. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

83. LET'S SIT DOWN. OH, HEY. DID YOU BRING THE STUFF? YEAH, HERE'S THE CANDY

84. ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN. OH MY GOD. IT'S SO GOOD. HOW'D YOU GET THIS?

85. I KNOW A GUY. LISTEN, I GOT YOU SOMETHING, TOO.

86. OH, HEY. COOL NECKLACE. THANKS. I HOPE

87. I GOT YOU THE RIGHT SIZE. I MEASURED MY BROTHERS' NECKS AND THEN SUBTRACTED TWO INCHES. PERFECT.

88. COOL. HEY, I'M GONNA RUN TO THE BATHROOM REAL QUICK BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS.

89. YEAH. I'LL KEEP YOUR SEAT WARM.

90. I CAN'T BELIEVE MEGAN HAS HER FIRST BOYFRIEND. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS.

91. OH, COME ON. COME ON, THEY'RE 13. THEY'RE JUST HAVING— WHAT IS HE DOING?

92. BREATH SPRAY? LIP BALM. HE'S GONNA TRY TO KISS MEGAN.

93. SHHH. PIP PIP YOUR DOODLEY-DO.

94. MAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT LITTLE PUNK IS GONNA TRY TO PUT THE MOVES ON MEGAN. SHE IS TOO YOUNG FOR KISSING.

95. COME ON. PARDON ME THERE. OH, EXCUSE. OH, YES.

96. OH, YES. DOES THAT COVER THE MEDIUM?

97. WHAT ARE YOU GAWKING AT? MIND YOUR PEEPERS.

98. HEY, I MISS ANYTHING? NAH, THE MOVIE IS JUST STARTING. HOW WAS THE BATHROOM?

99. NICE, CLEAN. JUST LIKE YOU. OH, COREY.

100. OH, MIGHT I BE HAVING A BITE OF YOUR POPCORN THERE? AYE, GIVE US YOUR CORN, LAD.

101. IT'S LOW IN CARBS. HEY, MAN, GET YOUR OWN POPCORN. OH, DO YOU MIND

102. IF I SIT CLOSER TO THE SCREEN THERE, LADDY? LET ME HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT.

103. OH, REAL. THAT'S COMFORTABLE THERE.

104. THAT'S THEM, THOSE TWO MEN FROM IRELAND. STOP THE FILM. HORATIO, STOP THE FILM.

105. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? THESE TWO FREAKS JUST TRIED TO STEAL MY POPCORN AND THEN SAT ON MY GIRLFRIEND.

106. WELL, SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING A BOYFRIEND. SHE'S JUST A WEE LASS. WEE.

107. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU BOOBS DOING HERE? WHO ARE THEY?

108. MY IDIOT BROTHERS. WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING YOUR IDIOT BROTHERS WERE HERE. YEAH, THIS HOOLIGAN

109. WAS ABOUT TO KISS YOU RIGHT ON THE MOUTH AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE TALKING IN THIS ACCENT ANYMORE, DO I?

110. WAIT. SO DRAKE AND JOSH JUST MADE UP PIP PIP DA DOODLEY DO? YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT

111. TO BE DISAPPOINTED. OF COURSE, HE WAS TRYING TO KISS ME. THAT'S THE POINT.

112. HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN WEEKS; EXCLUSIVELY. MAYBE SEVEN WEEKS IS ENOUGH.

113. HUH? LOOK, I'M SORRY BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT A GIRLFRIEND

114. WHO COMES FROM SOME KIND OF FREAKISH FAMILY. MY FAMILY'S NOT FREAKISH, JUST MY BROTHERS

115. AND MY DAD A LITTLE BIT. LOOK, WHATEVER. I'M OUTTA HERE.

116. PIP, PIP. DOODLEY DO.

117. OKAY, CONGRATULATIONS. MEGAN WON'T COME OUT OF HER ROOM. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EAR?

118. WELL, I KNOCKED ON HER DOOR. SHE OPENED IT AND THEN SHE SCREAMED GO AWAY AT ME

119. THROUGH A VERY LOUD BULLHORN. SHE'S TAKING THIS BREAK UP THING PRETTY HARD. I FEEL REALLY BAD.

120. AND YOU SHOULD. YOU RUINED YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S FIRST RELATIONSHIP.

121. WE WERE PROTECTING HER. YEAH. YEAH. CREEPY COREY WAS MOVING IN

122. FOR A KISS. LOOK, GUYS, I'M HER FATHER. I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA

123. OF MEGAN DATING SOME BOY. BUT SHE'S NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE. SHE'S BECOMING A YOUNG WOMAN.

124. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. OKAY, ENOUGH. WE GET IT. THANK YOU.

125. COME ON. ALL RIGHT. ANYWAY, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO FIX THIS.

126. SERIOUSLY. WELL. MAYBE IF WE TALK TO THIS COREY KID,

127. WE CAN GET HIM TO TAKE MEGAN BACK. GOOD. NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME

128. YOUR ICE POP? THANKS. AH. THAT'S THE STUFF.

129. OOH, COREY'S HERE. TOLD YOU, HE'D COME. HEY, DAD. COREY IS HERE.

130. BRING HIM UP, OKAY? YEAH. OKAY. LET'S DO THIS QUICK.

131. MEGAN COMES BACK FROM OBOE PRACTICE IN A HALF HOUR. RIGHT.

132. FELLAS. COREY IS HERE. HEY. WHAT'S UP, COREY?

133. I'LL LEAVE YOU GUYS TO TALK. SO, COREY, THANKS FOR COMING BY. OKAY.

134. LOOK, YOU GOT FIVE MINUTES. MY MOM'S WAITING DOWN IN THE CAR, AND SHE CANNOT BE LATE

135. FOR THERAPY. SO TALK. WE'RE REALLY SORRY WE EMBARRASSED YOU AND MEGAN

136. THE OTHER DAY. EXTREMELY SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE HER OLDER BROTHERS,

137. SO SOMETIMES WE CAN BE A LITTLE OVERPROTECTIVE. AND A LITTLE STUPID. A LOT STUPID.

138. YEAH, THANK YOU. SO IF YOU'LL ACCEPT OUR APOLOGY, WE'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE MEGAN

139. ANOTHER CHANCE. OKAY. I'LL GET BACK WITH YOUR SISTER. GREAT.

140. AWESOME. BUT I WANT THAT CLOCK. WHAT? YOU WANT ME

141. TO GET BACK WITH MEGAN OR NOT? GIVE HIM THE CLOCK. I'LL GIVE HIM A CLOCK.

142. FINE. TAKE THE CLOCK. AND THAT GUITAR. NO.

143. THEN FORGET IT. OH, COME ON. IT'S OLD ONE. YOU DON'T EVEN

144. PLAY IT ANYMORE. FINE. TAKE THE GUITAR. GIVE ME YOUR PANTS.

145. OUR PANTS? PANTS. THEY'RE NOT EVEN GONNA FIT YOU.

146. I'LL GROW INTO 'EM. I'LL GROW INTO 'EM. GUESS WE'RE GIVING HIM OUR PANTS.

147. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. WE'RE PANTS-LESS. SWEET. I'LL CALL MEGAN TONIGHT.

148. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TOOK OUR PANTS. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT KID.

149. HEY, HELEN. I JUST CAME TO PICK UP MY PAYCHECK. HMM, OKAY, HERE.

150. THANKS. UH, HELEN. I WORKED FIVE DAYS LAST WEEK. SO?

151. YOU ONLY PAID ME FOR THREE. I KNOW. THIS WAY I SAVE MONEY. OH, HEY.

152. CHECK IT OUT. I GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING. NO WAY. I THOUGHT

153. YOU COULD ONLY GET THIS CANDY IN JAPAN. WELL, I KNOW A GUY. YOU ARE THE SWEETEST THING.

154. JUST CONSIDER IT OUR ONE-MONTH ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS. OH.

155. YOU ARE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER. THANKS, BABE.

156. DRAKE, DRAKE. WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS. OH. YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

157. WHOA, MAN, YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS. MRS. HAFER DIED? NO.

158. COREY HAS A GIRLFRIEND. YEAH, I KNOW. HE'S WITH MEGAN. THAT'S WHY WE GAVE HIM

159. OUR PANTS. ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND. WHAT? YOU HEARD MY WORDS.

160. THAT COREY'S A LITTLE TWO-TIMING-GIRL-KISSING- JAPANESE-CANDY-GIVING JERK. OKAY.

161. WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT JAPANESE CANDY? OH, IT'S A BIG DEAL. NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO

162. ABOUT THIS? WE'RE GONNA TELL MEGAN. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. NO.

163. YES. OH, WE CAN'T GO TO MEGAN WITH THIS. WE COULD

164. IF YOU'D LET GO OF MY SHIRT. LOOK, IF WE TELL MEGAN, SHE'S GONNA THINK WE'RE MAKING IT UP.

165. SHE'S GONNA THINK WE'RE LYING JUST TO KEEP HER FROM DATING COREY. MAN.

166. YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

167. MEGAN. OH, MAN, EVERY TIME. HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MOVIE?

168. EXCUSE US. SORRY, PEOPLE. YEAH, WE JUST GOT A LITTLE BUSINESS

169. TO TAKE CARE OF. I AM GOING TO DO SUCH ILLEGAL THINGS TO THEM. HEY, TURN THE MOVIE BACK ON.

170. JUST RELAX. WHAT'S UP WITH THIS GUY?

171. I'LL GIVE YOU MY WATCH IF YOU DON'T KILL ME. COME ON, CHUCK. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

172. PLEASURE. HOW ARE YOU, CHUCK? I THOUGHT YOU CLOWNS WERE GONNA LEAVE US ALONE.

173. OH, YEAH, WE WERE, COREY, UNTIL WE FOUND OUT YOU WERE STEPPING OUT ON OUR SISTER.

174. WOW. STEPPING OUT? I KNOW TERMS. I CAN'T BELIEVE

175. YOU GUYS DID THIS TO ME AGAIN. WHY ARE SO OBNOXIOUS? MEGAN, YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND HERE

176. IS DATING ANOTHER GIRL. HE IS NOT. I AM NOT. AND YOU GUYS

177. HAVE ABOUT FIVE SECONDS TO GET OUT OF HERE OR ELSE YOU'RE BOTH GONNA WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING UNDER WATER.

178. OKAY. OKAY, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US— MAYBE YOU'LL BELIEVE GIRLFRIEND NUMBER TWO.

179. HEY, BOYFRIEND. MONICA. WHO'S MONICA? I DON'T KNOW.

180. I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN HER BEFORE. YOU JUST CALLED HER MONICA. WHO IS SHE? I USED TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND.

181. COME ON, MEGS. WE'RE DONE. WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE DRIVE ME HOME?

182. OF COURSE WE WILL. AS SOON AS WE TEACH COREY HERE A LITTLE LESSON.

183. YEAH, THE HARD WAY.

184. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US HE KNEW KUNG FU. YEAH, HE KNEW KUNG FU REAL GOOD.

185. I'M SORRY. AND LISTEN, I REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GUYS DID FOR ME.

186. IT MEANS A LOT. NO. WE'RE JUST SORRY THAT GUY WASN'T NICE TO YOU.

187. OR TO OUR FACES.

188. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

189. MEGAN SAID SHE LOVES US. I KNOW. DUDE, YOU'RE CRYING.

190. HE KICKED ME ON THE THROAT.

191. OW. OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW. HOW FUN IS THAT? I LOVE THESE.

192. I KNOW. COME ON, LET'S GO CLACK IN THE LIVING ROOM. OW.

193. OH. WHOA. OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW.

194. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY PEOPLESUPPORT TRANSCRIPTION & CAPTIONING