Drake & Josh 2x4

Directed by Virgil L. Fabian

Leah Pipes as Mandi The Cheerleader • Brandon Quinn as Mark • Aaron Hill as Witherspoon • Mandy Musgrave as High School Girl • Siera Casey as High School Senior

Drake tries to make Josh cool by telling him to try out for the football team. Instead, Josh gets "murdered" and he ends up being equipment manager, which isn't cool. Later, when the one of the player gets sick by Josh's brownies, the coach depends on Josh to play center. So now Drake must help Josh become cool and at the same time not actually play.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. AHH, MUSIC.

2. AHH, CHEESE.

3. ON AN ISLAND,

4. BRING 1,000 THINGS,

5. I'D BRING THESE HEADPHONES,

6. THAT STEREO,

7. AND 997 CDs.

8. AND A GIRL.

9. IT'S NOT THAT CHEESES THAT MUCH,

10. LOOKING AT THEM,

11. SNIFFING THEM, FEELING THEM.

12. SOMETIMES FEELS CHEESE?

13. DIFFERENT KINDS.

14. THERE'S SO MUCH COOL MUSIC OUT THERE.

15. YOU GOT POP, YOU GOT BLUES, HIP-HOP.

16. YOU GOT MOZZARELLA, YOU GOT SWISS, COTTAGE.

17. HEAVY METAL, PUNK.

18. PARMESAN, STRING.

19. JAZZ.

20. FETA.

21. R&B.

22. AND, OF COURSE, MY NUMBER-ONE CHEESE...

23. AND MY FAVORITE MUSIC, ROCK'N'ROLL.

24. CHEDDAR.

25. CHEDDAR!

26. YOU KNOW, JOSH ISN'T REALLY INTO MUSIC THE WAY I AM.

27. YOU KNOW, DRAKE DOESN'T SHARE MY LOVE OF CHEESES.

28. OH, WELL. HIS LOSS.

29. AHH, MUSIC.

30. AHH, CHEESE.

31. OH, VALERIE.

32. MANDY.

33. MANDY, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

34. EXCUSE ME, BUT WOULD YOU

35. BE A CHEERLEADER?

36. HOW DID YOU GUESS?

37. WAS IT MY POMPOMS?

38. MY UNIFORM?

39. OH, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT UNIFORM.

40. YOUR INCREDIBLE EYES.

41. INCREDIBLE EYES.

42. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE

43. ON ME TODAY.

44. OH, YEAH?

45. FOR THE FIRST 3?

46. NOT AS WELL AS IT'S WORKING FOR YOU.

47. HEY, BROTHER, I'VE GOT TO SHOW YOU

48. MAGIC TRICK.

49. NOT THE TIME, JOSH.

50. NOT THE TIME? IT'S ALWAYS MAGIC TIME!

51. HI, CHEERLEADER. HOLD THIS EGG.

52. JOSH, I WAS

53. STUDENTS AND FACULTY!

54. OF A CHICKEN DISAPPEAR.

55. JUST KILL ME.

56. FIRST, I WILL COVER THE EGG.

57. NOW, IF I CAN JUST

58. FROM MY LOVELY ASSISTANT?

59. I DON'T KNOW THE MAGIC WORD.

60. I WAS TALKING TO DRAKE.

61. JOSH, I DON'T

62. SAY THE MAGIC WORD.

63. SAY IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SAY IT.

64. COME ON, SAY THE MAGIC WORD.

65. PLEASE, JUST SAY IT. SAY IT, PLEASE.

66. THE MAGIC WORD.

67. JOSH-A-KAZAAM.

68. LOUDER, SO THE EGG CAN HEAR IT.

69. FINE. JOSH-A-KAZAAM.

70. THANKS.

71. 1, 2, 3!

72. TA-DA.

73. OH!

74. GOOD TRICK, JOSH.

75. DISAPPEAR.

76. PERFECTLY AT HOME.

77. THAT'S NOT THE POINT, JOSH.

78. DOING TRICKS AT SCHOOL, IT'S... IT'S...

79. IT'S WHAT?

80. IT'S NOT COOL.

81. WOW. AND ALL THIS TIME, I THOUGHT I WAS THE COOLIEST.

82. THAT'S THE KIND OF THING I'M TALKING ABOUT.

83. SO HOW DO I FIX ME?

84. WELL, BEING COOL, IT'S JUST AN ATTITUDE, RIGHT?

85. HERE, CHECK THIS OUT.

86. HMM. HEY, DRAKE, LOOKING COOL.

87. YOU SEE?

88. OH, YEAH.

89. HERE, WATCH ME.

90. JOSH.

91. OHH.

92. HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.

93. HERE, SEE THAT SIGN?

94. WHAT? I'M ALREADY IN THE SPANISH CLUB.

95. AND VICE "PRESIDENTE."

96. AT THAT SIGN.

97. FOOTBALL TRY-OUTS?

98. "SI!"

99. I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT REALLY THE FOOTBALL TYPE.

100. THE FOOTBALL TYPE,

101. THAT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT WILL UP YOUR COOL.

102. HUH. I DO WANT MY COOL UPPED.

103. JOSH.

104. ON THE WEEKENDS?

105. MEGAN!

106. YEAH?

107. I'VE TOLD YOU

108. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN OUR ROOM, SO JUST...

109. ARE YOU READING MY E-MAIL?

110. WAIT, HANG ON A SEC.

111. MEGAN, READING SOMEONE'S E-MAIL IS AGAINST THE LAW.

112. IT'S A VIOLATION OF PRIVACY.

113. CALM DOWN. IT'S JOSH'S E-MAIL.

114. OH, COOL.

115. WHERE IS JOSH ANYWAY?

116. UH, I DON'T KNOW.

117. AT FOOTBALL TRY-OUTS.

118. HA HA! COME ON, SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS HE?

119. UNH!

120. OW OW OW!

121. OHH.

122. WHOA, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

123. THANKS.

124. 5 NEW E-MAILS.

125. WAIT, HOW DID SHE KNOW

126. FORGET ABOUT THAT. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

127. FOOTBALL HAPPENED TO ME.

128. FIRST I GOT TACKLED. THEN I GOT TRAMPLED.

129. AND I'M PRETTY SURE SOMEONE BIT MY ANKLE.

130. ALL RIGHT, SO YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM.

131. WE'LL JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE YOU COOL.

132. OH, I MADE THE TEAM.

133. YOU DID?

134. YEAH. CHECK IT OUT.

135. NO WAY! THAT'S SO COOL!

136. YEAH, IT IS.

137. MY BROTHER,

138. FOOTBALL TEAM'S

139. EQUIPMENT MANAGER!

140. EQUIPMENT MANAGER!

141. JOSH, BEING

142. ISN'T COOL.

143. BUT I'M ON THE TEAM.

144. NO, YOU WORK FOR THE TEAM.

145. WHICH IS UNCOOL.

146. WELL, IF I'M SO UNCOOL, EXPLAIN HOW I HAVE THIS!

147. A BAG OF DIRTY LAUNDRY?

148. OF FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

149. OH, JOSH.

150. AT THIS POINT, I THINK YOU'RE BETTER OFF

151. TO YOUR MAGIC TRICKS.

152. NO WAY. THE TEAM NEEDS ME.

153. OF RESPONSIBILITIES.

154. I MEAN, WHO DO OF THE COSTUMES?

155. UNIFORMS, JOSH, UNIFORMS!

156. WHATEVER. I THINK BEING EQUIPMENT MANAGER IS COOL.

157. ON MY ANKLES.

158. IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE COSTUMES TO WASH.

159. OH, THAT'S RIPE!

160. HEY, COACH DAVIS.

161. THE PRACTICE SCHEDULES,

162. POLISHED THE FOOTBALLS, AND MOWED THE END ZONE.

163. ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO?

164. YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOME BROWNIES?

165. WHY BROWNIES?

166. WHY NOT!

167. OK. BUT DON'T YOU THINK

168. SOMETHING MORE NUTRITIOUS?

169. OH, I'M SORRY.

170. TO BE THE COACH?

171. OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!

172. I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.

173. NO, SERIOUSLY,

174. TO BE THE COACH?

175. 'CAUSE I HATE THIS JOB.

176. I WANTED TO BE A SINGER.

177. LOOK AT ME. DO I LOOK LIKE A SINGER?

178. NO.

179. NO!

180. LIVING A WASTED LIFE!

181. SOME BROWNIES, THEN?

182. YEAH, BROWNIES ARE GOOD.

183. OH, HEY, DRAKE, YOU GOT A SEC?

184. YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

185. BROTHER NEAL, RIGHT?

186. YEAH.

187. YEAH, WELL, HE GOES TO SAN DIEGO STATE NOW,

188. AND HIS FRATERNITY'S PARTY.

189. OH, SOUNDS COOL.

190. YEAH. AND I HEAR YOU HAVE A BAND?

191. THIS IS GOING.

192. AT THE PARTY?

193. AT A COLLEGE PARTY?

194. YUP. WITH COLLEGE GIRLS.

195. GIG PAYS 100 BUCKS.

196. COLLEGE PARTY, COLLEGE GIRLS, MONEY.

197. YEAH, I THINK WE CAN MAKE IT.

198. SWEET.

199. HEY, BROTHER.

200. OH, NO, NOT NOW!

201. WHAT'S UP, FELLAS?

202. LADY FELLA.

203. WHAT'S UP.

204. WHAT'S UP.

205. I TELL YOU WHAT'S UP. FOOTBALL!

206. YOU'RE ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM?

207. WELL, ACTUALLY—

208. YES, OH, YES.

209. THE FOOTBALL TEAM.

210. IN FACT, GO LONG, JOSH.

211. NOW.

212. YEAH. I GUESS THIS EQUIPMENT'S

213. TO MANAGE ITSELF.

214. I SEE. YOU'RE THE EQUIPMENT MANAGER.

215. JOSH, I MAY NEED ANOTHER NECK RUB.

216. OH, YEAH, NO PROBLEM, BRO. I'LL JUST GET YOU—

217. OH!

218. ARE YOU OK? I'M SO SORRY!

219. I'M FINE. LET'S GO, MARK.

220. LATER.

221. WAIT! WHAT ABOUT THE COLLEGE PARTY?

222. COLLEGE PARTY? I'M SO THERE!

223. YEAH, I THINK IT WAS CANCELED.

224. NECK RUB?

225. HEY, JOSH.

226. WHAT'S UP, MEGS?

227. OOH, MAKING BROWNIES? CAN I LICK THE SPOON?

228. AH! THERE WILL BE IN MY KITCHEN.

229. YOU KNOW WHAT, JOSH?

230. I HAVE DREAMS.

231. IN THOSE DREAMS,

232. THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.

233. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

234. THE FOOTBALL TEAM.

235. OH, THAT'S COOL, JOSH.

236. SOME PRETTY SWEATERS.

237. ANY BROWNIES.

238. CHOCOLATE ONES?

239. YEAH?

240. WELL, I MULTIPLIED THE RECIPE BY 3.

241. THAT'S TRIPLE THE DOUBLE CHOCOLATE.

242. THAT'S TRIPLE THE DOUBLE UNCOOLNESS.

243. WELL, I THINK

244. WHO'S NOT GETTING ONE RIGHT OUT OF THE OVEN.

245. HEY, MR. EQUIPMENT MANAGER,

246. TREVOR'S WAITING IN HIS CAR.

247. OR NOT?

248. IN A MINUTE. I'VE JUST GOT TO FINISH

249. PUMPING UP THESE FOOTBALLS,

250. NICHOLS!

251. YEAH, COACH DAVIS?

252. TO DO FOR—

253. WHAT DID YOU DO?

254. WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

255. YOUR BROWNIES! LOOK WHAT THEY DID!

256. TO MY BROWNIES?

257. YEAH, JOSH, I LIVE TO SABOTAGE BAKED GOODS.

258. COACH, YOU BETTER CHECK ON WITHERSPOON.

259. HE'S REALLY BAD.

260. WITHERSPOON, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

261. DID YOU EAT?

262. 17.

263. AND I THINK YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

264. ALL RIGHT, BOY A BUCKET.

265. I JUST CLEANED THE BUCKETS.

266. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

267. TOMORROW NIGHT,

268. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FORFEIT.

269. COME ON, COACH DAVIS. WE CAN'T FORFEIT.

270. AT WITHERSPOON?

271. AIN'T NO WAY HE'S PLAYING TOMORROW NIGHT.

272. TO PLAY CENTER.

273. JOSH WILL PLAY CENTER!

274. JOSH WHO?

275. JOSH YOU.

276. YOU'LL BE GREAT. AND COOL.

277. AND DEAD.

278. TEAM IN THE STATE.

279. THEY'RE ANIMALS. ANIMALS!

280. WHINING, NICHOLS?

281. GOT US INTO THIS.

282. AND YOU'RE PLAYING NIGHT.

283. YES!

284. NO.

285. RUN! NO, PASS! DON'T PASS! PASS!

286. NOT THE SACK! NOT THE SACK!

287. Man on TV: UNH! THE SACK!

288. OH, THE SACK.

289. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

290. I'M TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

291. OH. 400-7.

292. ONE TOUCHDOWN.

293. NO, MEGAN DID.

294. I HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM,

295. FOR A WHILE.

296. I CAN'T BELIEVE TO PLAY FOOTBALL!

297. I BRUISE!

298. DUDE, I DID YOU A FAVOR.

299. MANAGING EQUIPMENT.

300. AND WHO KNOWS? MAYBE YOU'LL DO OK.

301. WE'RE PLAYING LINCOLN!

302. A GUY SO HARD,

303. TO THE FOURTH GRADE!

304. SO?

305. THE FOURTH GRADE!

306. IT WAS MY AWKWARD STAGE.

307. AND THIS IS...

308. I'M NOT PLAYING!

309. I'M TELLING COACH I QUIT!

310. YOU CAN'T QUIT!

311. WHY NOT?

312. BECAUSE IF YOU QUIT, THAT MEANS WE FORFEIT.

313. IF WE FORFEIT, IS GOING TO HATE YOU.

314. AND WORSE, I'M GOING

315. IN SCHOOL.

316. BUT I'M NOT READY TO DIE!

317. I HAVEN'T SEEN PARIS!

318. THEY EAT SNAILS. THE PEOPLE SMELL BAD.

319. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.

320. PLEASE! YOU'VE GOT TO GET ME OUT OF THIS!

321. I WANT TO BE COOLER,

322. BUT I CAN'T GO

323. TEAM IN THE STATE!

324. OK, OK.

325. HE'S THINKING! HE'S THINKING!

326. HE'S SNAPPING!

327. I GOT AN IDEA.

328. HE'S GOT AN IDEA!

329. OK, YOU NEED TO STOP THAT.

330. DONE.

331. OK, YOU WON'T DIE IF YOU DON'T PLAY.

332. SO I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY?

333. OH, YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY.

334. IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO BE YOU.

335. HE'S CONFUSING ME!

336. DRAKE.

337. WHAT?

338. BEING IN SCHOOL AT NIGHT, IT CREEPS ME OUT.

339. REALLY?

340. SCHOOL DURING THE DAY.

341. OH, GOOD, HERE'S THE JANITOR.

342. AH, YES, THE JANITOR.

343. WHY IS THAT GOOD?

344. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT JUST ANY JANITOR.

345. THAT'S ZEKE BRAXTON.

346. ZEKE BRAXTON?

347. YEAH, HE USED

348. RUINED HIS CAREER.

349. AND HIS MEMORY.

350. REMEMBER ANYTHING.

351. COME ON.

352. WHO ARE YOU KIDS?

353. I'M DRAKE.

354. AND YOU ARE? JOSH.

355. AND I AM?

356. ZEKE. YOU'RE ZEKE.

357. RIGHT. AND YOU ARE?

358. WE'LL TELL YOU LATER.

359. LOOK, WE HAVE AND WE NEED YOUR HELP.

360. DOES IT INVOLVE BALLOONS?

361. NO.

362. ANYWAY, LOOK,

363. OUR SCHOOL'S PLAYING FOOTBALL AGAINST LINCOLN.

364. TO PLAY FOOTBALL?

365. YES. SO TOMORROW NIGHT,

366. YOU PUT ON JOSH'S UNIFORM AND PLAY CENTER IN THE GAME.

367. WAIT, WHO IS THIS "JOSH" YOU SPEAK OF?

368. HIM.

369. ME!

370. NICE TO MEET YOU.

371. AND YOU ARE?

372. DRAKE, THIS WILL NEVER WORK.

373. YES, IT WILL.

374. YOUR HELMET ON,

375. THINK IT'S YOU.

376. OHH.

377. SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, ZEKE? WILL YOU DO IT?

378. YEAH, I'LL DO IT. FOR $10,000.

379. DEAL.

380. WHAT?

381. TO GET $10,000?

382. HE'S NOT GOING TO REMEMBER.

383. WHAT IF HE DOES?

384. HEY, WHO ARE YOU KIDS,

385. IN MY CHOCOLATE FACTORY?

386. I THINK THIS CAN WORK.

387. OK. NOW I KNOW IS BIGGER THAN YOU,

388. MORE TALENTED THAN YOU.

389. AND WIN THIS GAME!

390. WHY? BECAUSE IF WE MAKE THE PLAYOFFS,

391. A USED KARAOKE MACHINE.

392. TO BE A SINGER, RIGHT?

393. YEAH.

394. KARAOKE MACHINE.

395. I'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR.

396. NOTHING!

397. HANDS IN.

398. 1, 2, 3!

399. OH!

400. FINALLY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

401. I COULDN'T FIND ZEKE ANYWHERE!

402. WHO'S ZEKE?

403. YOU ARE.

404. YOUR JERSEY.

405. ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, RIGHT?

406. CORN ON THE COB!

407. THIS IS GOING TO WORK?

408. TOTALLY! ZEKE PLAYS, EVERYONE THINKS IT'S YOU,

409. YOU'RE INSTANTLY COOL.

410. HEY, WHERE'S NICHOLS?

411. GET OUT THERE!

412. PLAY YOUR HEART OUT, ZEKE! MAKE ME LOOK GOOD!

413. ALL RIGHT. UNH! HELP!

414. OK, 1-2-3, PULL!

415. FEELS GOOD.

416. YEAH, IT DOES.

417. SHOWER.

418. HEY.

419. ZEKE! THE GAME!

420. WHAT GAME?

421. AND PLAY FOOTBALL.

422. I'LL DO IT!

423. CORN ON THE COB?

424. I DON'T KNOW.

425. HOW IS HE, DOC? CAN HE PLAY?

426. DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.

427. HE'S GOT A PRETTY BAD CONCUSSION.

428. NOTIFY HIS PARENTS.

429. OK, DOC.

430. HEY, DIDN'T YOU WANT TO BE A SINGER?

431. GO!

432. OH, WELL, SO MUCH MACHINE.

433. I'VE GOT TO TELL THE REST WE'RE GOING TO FORFEIT.

434. ZEKE, ARE YOU OK?

435. UNH!

436. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

437. YEAH. I GOT HIT SO HARD,

438. IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW.

439. I'M ZEKE BRAXTON.

440. I'M A JANITOR!

441. I'M A JANITOR.

442. HEY, YOU GUYS OWE ME 10,000 BUCKS.

443. OH, WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'M ON.

444. TALKING ABOUT?

445. IF I DON'T PLAY, WE FORFEIT.

446. WHO CARES? YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT THERE.

447. THINKS YOU PLAYED.

448. YOU'RE COOL.

449. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

450. IT'S ABOUT THE TEAM. I'VE GOT TO PLAY.

451. NOW HURRY, HELP ME.

452. MAN, IT'S LINCOLN. YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED OUT THERE.

453. YEAH, PROBABLY.

454. BUT I CAN'T LET MY TEAMMATES AND THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOWN.

455. I'VE GOT TO DO THIS.

456. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, JOSH?

457. YOU'RE PRETTY COOL.

458. THE COOLIEST?

459. DON'T RUIN IT.

460. RIGHT.

461. WELL, HERE GOES NOTHIN'.

462. HEY, IF I DON'T COME BACK...

463. REMEMBER ME AS I WAS.

464. WILL DO, BROTHER.

465. YOU DID IT, JOSH! YOU DID IT!

466. AWESOME.

467. WHAT DID I DO?

468. TOUCHDOWN.

469. REALLY?

470. WAIT. BUT I THOUGHT TACKLED ME.

471. HE DID. BUT HE HIT

472. KNOCKED YOU 20 YARDS INTO THE END ZONE.

473. YOU WON THE GAME!

474. HERE, KID, THIS IS FOR YOU.

475. I GET THE GAME BALL?

476. HECK, YEAH, YOU DESERVE IT.

477. BESIDES, A COUPLE LODGED IN THERE.

478. THING IS, JOSH,

479. I'M GETTING ME A USED KARAOKE MACHINE!

480. OUT THERE, MAN. YOU'RE A HERO.

481. HEY, DRAKE, COME HERE.

482. CLOSER.

483. TA-DA.

484. JOSH-A-KAZAAM.

485. HEY, WESTBROOK, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR NECK?

486. STEPPED ON IT.

487. OOH. HE'S A BIG BOY.

488. I KNOW! UNH!

489. IT REALLY HURTS.

490. NOT A PROBLEM. SIT.

491. EXCUSE ME, FELLOW.

492. JUST RELAX. RELAX.

493. OOH, YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF STRESS UP HERE.

494. YEAH, I'VE BEEN STUDYING FOR MY SATs AND DRIVER'S ED—

495. AAH!

496. MMM!