Drake & Josh 1x6

Directed by Virgil L. Fabian

Randee Heller as Grammy • Molly Orr as Rina • Johnny Lewis as Scottie • Jeremy Ray Valdez as Paul • Allison Andreas as Girl Scout

When the parents leave town for the weekend, Drake and Josh's excitement is short lived when they learn that Grammy is coming to stay.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Okay, I'm fifteen years old, right?

2. I'm gonna be sixteen in just a few months.

3. And you know what kinda bugs me? - You know what I really hate?

4. Mom and dad still treat me like a child. - Mom and dad still treat me like a child.

5. Don't forget to wash your hands before dinner. - Eat your vegetables if you wanna grow up big and strong.

6. What am I, nine? - I'm already both big and strong..

7. kinda.

8. Mom and dad are just gonna have to deal with the fact that..

9. I'm not a little kid anymore. - I'm not a little kid anymore.

10. Alright, let's try this one more time. - Call it when you're ready.

11. Ready, set, grape!

12. Bulls eye!

13. Alright, back at you.

14. Yeah.

15. An entire weekend, all to ourselves.

16. No mom, no dad. - 57 hours of total freedom.

17. Without the man to keep us down.

18. How great is this gonna be? - We can stay up late.

19. Yeah, we can. - We can order pizza whenever we want.

20. Yeah, we can. - We can walk around in our underwear!

21. No, we can't.

22. Right.. So what do you want to do? - I'm gonna try to score tickets to Rock Shock.

23. I thought mom and dad already said you couldn't go to that concert.

24. I know. But I've only asked like ten times. Mom usually cracks somewhere between 14 and 17.

25. A toast. To a fun-filled parent-free weekend. - Yeah, brother!

26. Hey, and no little sister either. - That's right..

27. none of Megan's stupid practical jokes.

28. Yeah. No one to put itching powder in our toilet paper.

29. Nothin' worse than itchy butt.

30. Wow, it really worked.

31. I can't wait for this weekend.

32. Now, if you need to reach us, we both have our cell phones. - Don't worry.

33. We'll be fine. - Ooh, we're late. We should really hit the road.

34. Right. - Right.

35. Grammy's gonna be here in about an hour.. - Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait!

36. What? - Alright, grammy's coming!

37. Josh. - Oh, no. Grammy's coming.

38. You didn't think we were gonna leave you alone for an entire weekend?

39. That's exactly what we thought! We don't need a babysitter.

40. Sorry, she's already on her way.

41. Man. - Megan, it's gonna be a long drive..

42. is there anything you need to do? - Can I give my brothers a good-bye hug?

43. Gross. - Fine, I'll just hug Josh, then.

44. yesh

45. That was nice.

46. Have a great weekend, guys. - Wait, wait, wait. Before you guys go..

47. I have to ask, can I please.. - You cannot go to that Rock Shock concert..

48. and that's final.

49. Man. - See you guys Sunday.

50. Great. The whole weekend is ruined. I can't believe your grandmother is coming to baby-sit us.

51. Come on. Grammy's cool. - She's not cool and she hates me.

52. She does not. She just thinks you're a little irresponsible.

53. Can't say I disagree. - Whatever.

54. At least we have a little time before she gets here. Let's have fun while we can.

55. What? You can't remember to lock the door?

56. Wow. Weren't those two seconds fun?

57. I must be in the wrong house. My Joshee is cute, but nowhere near this handsome.

58. I was expecting my Grammy. Not this pretty young thang!

59. Someone, please kill me.

60. Your butt itches?

61. Where'd that come from? - I wonder..

62. you don't put signs on people. - I didn't put this sign on him..

63. You don't see me putting a sign on your back that says "lazy punk", do you?

64. Grammy it's okay. Hey, did you bring me anything? - What do you think?

65. I got presents for both of you. Let's see.

66. Joshee. Drake.

67. Whoa! 50 bucks! How'd you know? - You just enjoy it.

68. Wow. Two dollars off my next haircut.

69. I wouldn't wait too long to use that. Your head looks like a filthy mop.

70. Drake, be a lamb and carry my suitcase up to Megan's room.

71. Be a lamb.

72. And unpack it when you get upstairs. You can organize my thongs by color.

73. Come here my little baby.

74. What's the matter? - I had to unpack your grandmother's suitcase.

75. These hands have touched Grammy panties!

76. Drake, open up the garage door. - Okay.

77. Come up. - You know, Grammy's really cool once you get to know her..

78. You see-ee.

79. Uh, Drake.

80. Lazy punk.

81. Grammy got you. - Ha ha ha yeah. I hate her so much.

82. What's up, guys? - Nothin' good.

83. Well, it gets worse. - Yeah, we got some bad news.

84. Yeah, we couldn't get tickets to Rock Shock. - Doesn't matter. I'm not allowed to go anyway.

85. So no big deal. We'll just hang out here this weekend. - Yeah, your parents are away, right?

86. Yeah. Except Josh's grandmother is here all week babysitting us.

87. She's not babysitting. She's hanging out and she's really cool.

88. Who wants to play Bingo? - Meeeeee!

89. Joshee, why put meatballs in the salad?

90. Why not put meatballs in the salad?

91. Hey, Drake, just in time. Dinner's almost ready.

92. Aww, meatball salad again?

93. I'll just grab a bite with the guys. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses there, snack pants.

94. Where do you think you're going? - Out.

95. No, you're not going to that Rock Pot concert.

96. Your mom and dad were very clear with me on that. - Okay, first: It's Rock Shock..

97. and second: I'm not going to it. I don't even have tickets, okay?

98. Do I look stupid? - Drake!

99. Look, I'm just going to hang out with my friends. - Don't lie to me. I wasn't born yesterday.

100. Yeah, no doubt about that.

101. Look you.. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Can't we all just get along?

102. Come on, who wants a hug? They're free!

103. Joshee.

104. You are so soft!

105. And you are not going out tonight. You're staying right here where I can keep an eye on you.

106. It's Friday night! I can't just sit home. What am I gonna do here?

107. Oh, I know. You could take a bath and put on some decent clothes.

108. Don't do it, Drake.

109. I'll be upstairs in my room.

110. Okay. Here comes my backwards, over the shoulder, special hoop-de-doop shot. Ready?

111. Hey, Grammy, check this out.

112. J-Josh!

113. Your face is like a ball magnet.

114. Funny. Too bad you can't play as good as you talk trash.

115. I play just fine. - Oh yeah?

116. Think you can beat Grammy at a little one-on-one?

117. No. I don't think I wanna play basketball with a lady of your years.

118. Why? 'Fraid you gonna get beat?

119. Alright, you wanna play some ball? Let's play some ball. - Good..

120. what do you say we make this a little more interesting?

121. You wanna bet me? - First one to five points wins.

122. You beat me, I'll let you go out with your friends tonight.

123. Seriously? - Yeah. As long as you don't go to that Rock Snot concert.

124. Deal! Let's play. - Game on, chicken legs.

125. Take it out.

126. That's one. - You enjoy it, cause that's all your gonna get little girl.

127. Yes! 5 to nothin'. You have a good night, Grammy. I'm outta here.

128. What happened? You usually paly better than that.

129. Guess I'm gettin' too old. - Ooh, maybe I could beat you now.

130. Yeah.. Not that old.

131. Hey, I was just going to meet you guys at the coffee shop.

132. Wouldn't you rather come with us to..

133. Rock Shock! - Rock Shock!

134. What? - Scottie got us tickets.

135. And there free.

136. I can't go.

137. Why? - What?

138. I promised Grammy.

139. He wuves his gwammy. - Gwammy's wittle boy.

140. For your information, I just beat her butt at basketball.

141. Impressive. When we get back, maybe you two can kickbox.

142. Come on, let's just go man. She's not gonna find out.

143. Guys look, I want.. - Look, the show starts in an hour. We're going.

144. Wait up!

145. How great is this? - Tickets.

146. Yeah. He's got 'em.

147. Hey come on, Drake. Lighten up. Grammy's not gonna find out you're here.

148. I know. You know, I just.. - Would you four please step to the side?

149. Yeah, sure. - Hey, what's going on?

150. Could you come with me please? - Is there a problem?

151. Yeah. These tickets are fake. - What?

152. You guys are in some serious trouble. Let's go.

153. No we're not. - Come on.

154. We can't be. - Move it.

155. Can you believe it? We made it backstage!

156. This is not backstage! - This is practically jail.

157. Those guys are cops. - Yes..

158. scary cops who are going to arrest us for having fake tickets, Scottie.

159. Guys, the tickets are not fake. - Are you sure?

160. I photocopied 'em myself.

161. What? - You can't photocopy tickets.

162. Yes you can!

163. You just put 'em on the glass, close the liddy thing and press copy.

164. Any moron can do it.

165. No, not just any moron. It takes a special moron, like you!

166. This might take a while. You each get one phone call.

167. I'll go first.

168. Josh, it's Drake. I got a little problem here, but you gotta swear not to tell Grammy.

169. You swear?

170. Well, then put down the meatball and swear!

171. Josh! How'd you get here? - Well, uh, well, um, uh..

172. Surprise, surprise.

173. Surprise, surprise. - You swore you wouldn't tell her!

174. I didn't tell her! She was listening on the phone in the kitchen.

175. That is eavesdropping. - You know he does have a point..

176. you should trust us. - I trust you.

177. She trusts me.

178. I don't trust delinquents who lie to me and go to concerts when they promised me they wouldn't.

179. You know, you did promise.

180. Who's side are you on? - I just want peace!

181. So is he goin' to jail or what? - Either that, or he pays the fine.

182. Unbelievable! A 200 dollar fine! - I'm sorry!

183. You're just lucky I paid it. I could've let them lock you up in the juvi.

184. You know what happens to kids in the juvi.

185. How many times can I say I'm sorry? - I'll let you know when you get there.

186. Boy, when I tell your parents about this, they're gonna ground you for a month.

187. Look, just so you know, I wasn't planning on going to that concert..

188. my friends just showed up last minute with free tickets, and I don't-I don't know..

189. I got talked into it.

190. Well a responsible young man doesn't give into peer pressure so easily.

191. I always tell 'im that.

192. No need to glare.

193. 200 dollars you cost me.

194. That's what I get for being so nice and letting you win that basketball game.

195. Look, I said I'm so.. Wait. What-what do you mean let me win?

196. Forget it. - No, say it.

197. Okay, fine. Joshee made me feel bad for giving you such a hard time.

198. That's why I let you win, so you could go out with your friends.

199. Right. I beat you and you know it.

200. You couldn't beat an egg.

201. Oh, is that right?

202. You wanna rematch? Right now?

203. No, I don't think I need to beat you twice in one night.

204. Tell you what. We play. If you win, I won't tell your parents you went to that concert.

205. Deal. - Wait..

206. but if I win, you're gonna tell 'em.

207. No problem, let's play.

208. This is better than Bingo!

209. Go ahead, take it out.

210. Anytime.

211. Yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about.

212. Grammy brought her "A" game.

213. Loser takes it out.

214. Loser.

215. Yeah? Well here's how we do it in this century.

216. Ow! My face is a ball magnet!

217. Off you, my ball.

218. Okay. It's 4 to 4. Next basket wins. I need to go pee, but I'm not gonna!

219. You're breathin' kinda heavy, you wanna quit?

220. I don't think so. - Let's finish this.

221. Great game, kid.

222. Yeah for you. I'm gonna be grounded for a month.

223. Joshee, I still got it or what?

224. Yeah you do. Hey, may I?

225. Take it.

226. Oh, Josh!

227. Basketball, not my thing.

228. Video games! Joshee, am I holdin' this right?

229. Let me see.

230. Sucker.

231. Hey Grammy. Here.

232. What's this? - 200 dollars.

233. For the fine you had to pay at the concert.

234. I didn't say you had to pay me back. - I-I know. I know. And look..

235. as soon as mom and dad get home. I'll tell 'em what happened.

236. Where's a kid get this kinda money?

237. I was savin' up for a new guitar. It does.. I-it doesn't matter.

238. Hi! - We're home.

239. Hey, hey! Welcome home! Did you have a good time?

240. Oh it was great, it was great. Hey, how was yours with the boys?

241. We had a lot of fun. Grammy and I played some video games, a little Bingo.

242. How 'bout you, Drake? What'd you do?

243. Actually there's something I gotta tell you.

244. Friday night, I.. - Yeah?

245. I went.. Look, this is kinda hard to tell you, but..

246. Then I'll tell them.

247. I beat Drake at basketball. - What?

248. Sorry, Drake. But the truth is the truth. That is what happened. Right?

249. Yeah. She beat me bad.

250. Grammy beat you at basketball! - Hey, hey. Come on, don't laugh at me. I mean..

251. she beat Josh at Bingo like six times in a row.

252. Grammy beat you at basketball!

253. Grape! - Grape!

254. Man, we got that down. - Yeah, we do.

255. Hey fellas, I'm about to take off. Thanks for the fun weekend.

256. Hey Grammy. Talk to me.. - What?

257. How come you covered for me with mom and dad? - I don't know..

258. maybe I got a soft spot for musicians.

259. Come on, you beat me. The deal was that I tell mom and dad about the concert.

260. And I saw that you were going to. And that was good enough for me.

261. Told you she was cool.

262. Besides, you've been punished enough. You got your butt beat by an old lady.

263. Your not that old. - Your a good kid.

264. Come here Joshee, give me a hug.

265. How 'bout one from you, Drakie?

266. Come on. They're free!

267. Have a good trip home. - I will.

268. You, work on that jump shot. You, work on not gettin' hit in the face.

269. I'll do it. - See you guys soon.

270. What? - You love my Grammy!

271. Say it! - I like her okay.

272. Drake? - She put somethin' on my back, didn't she?

273. She gave me my 200 dollars back. - And two dollars off your next haircut.

274. I gotta go say thanks.

275. Peace at last.

276. It's good to be home.

277. Will you not say that? She's my grandma. - So?

278. So, she's kinda your grandma too now. We're all family.

279. I've learned to love your twisted little sister.

280. Why are you so hard on Drake? - 'Cause I know his type.

281. I dated a dozen musicians before I met your granfather.

282. I'm not sure I wanna think about you dating a dozen musical men.

283. Then I won't tell you about last Saturday night. Good thing I got this new hip!

284. Am I gonna see you on a commercial for Grammies Gone Wild?