Doug 4x7

Directed by Myrna Bushman • Paul Sparagano

A/B) When a spooky new amusement ride, Blood Stone Manor, opens up at Funkytown on Halloween night, Skeeter wants to check it out instead of trick or treating. Doug reluctantly agrees to go, but when the park closes before their turn comes up, Roger convinces them to go on the ride anyway. Once on the ride, Roger scares Doug and Skeeter big time, so it's up to them to scare Roger back!

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1. CAPTIONING SPONSORED BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2. COOL! WHOA!

3. HMM, FIVE LETTERS, "HEAD OF CITY GOVERNMENT."

4. HEY, DAD! DAD!

5. I JUST SAW SOMETHING ON TV!

6. JUST A MINUTE, WILLIE.

7. IT'S ME!

8. I-T-S-M-E.

9. DAD, THEY JUST SAID ON TV

10. THAT MRS. DINK'S RUNNING AGAINST YOU FOR MAYOR.

11. OH, DON'T WORRY, SON.

12. IT'S JUST ANOTHER ELECTION THING—

13. BUNCH OF HOOPLA FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

14. AND THEN AT THE END, I'M STILL THE MAYOR.

15. BUT YOU'LL KNOW HOW IT IS ONCE YOU'RE MAYOR.

16. YOU DO HAVE POLITICAL ASPIRATIONS, MY BOY?

17. HUH? ASPA-WHAT?

18. YOU KNOW, RUNNING FOR OFFICE.

19. HMM... OH, YEAH, SURE.

20. I EVEN JUST GOT NOMINATED AT SCHOOL.

21. THAT'S GREAT!

22. PRESIDENT?

23. MMM, NO.

24. VICE-PRESIDENT?

25. UH-UH.

26. TREASURER.

27. OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT!

28. DUH, CLASS TREASURER.

29. TREASURER— HMM.

30. WELL, THAT'S A START.

31. YOUR FIRST FORAY INTO THE POLITICAL ARENA.

32. ( gasps: ) I KNOW.

33. I'LL PUT MY ELECTION COMMITTEE BEHIND YOU.

34. WE'LL TAKE YOUR OPPONENT BY STORM!

35. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE LOSER

36. WHO'S RUNNING AGAINST...

37. WHO IS RUNNING AGAINST YOU?

38. DUH...

39. OH, YEAH.

40. IT'S DOUG— DOUG FUNNIE.

41. THAT'S ME.

42. HEY!

43. WOW, CLASS TREASURER.

44. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT WHEN BILLY GUNTHER MOVED AWAY

45. I'D BE NOMINATED TO REPLACE HIM?

46. OH, MAN!

47. HEY!

48. OH, I HATE THIS STUPID MACHINE.

49. IT NEVER WORKS.

50. HELP!

51. CLASS TREASURER!

52. THE MACHINE ATE OUR MONEY!

53. DID SOMEONE SAY

54. CLASS TREASURER?

55. HE'S HERE!

56. STAND BACK.

57. OH, THANK YOU, CLASS TREASURER.

58. THINK NOTHING OF IT.

59. IT'S ALL IN A DAY'S WORK.

60. HE'S THE BEST CLASS TREASURER

61. THERE EVER WAS.

62. OH, WHAT A DREAMBOAT.

63. SINCE THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I WAS EVER NOMINATED FOR ANYTHING

64. MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER AND I TOOK IT PRETTY SERIOUSLY.

65. "DOUG CAN COUNT, SO COUNT ON DOUG FOR TREASURER."

66. THAT'S GREAT, SKEET.

67. WE'VE GOT ABOUT TEN POSTERS HERE.

68. DO YOU THINK WE'RE OVERDOING IT?

69. WELL, MAYBE.

70. WE'LL SEE HOW MANY WILLIE'S GOT

71. AND THEN WE CAN JUST EVEN IT OUT.

72. HEY, LOOK!

73. BRAVO!

74. BRAVO!

75. BRAVO!

76. FELLOW STUDENTS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CONCLUDE

77. DUH... OH, YEAH.

78. IF I'M ELECTED TREASURER, I WILL, DUH...

79. BE THE TREASURER, I GUESS.

80. YES, A VOTE FOR WILLIE WHITE IS A VOTE FOR THE MAYOR'S SON.

81. VOTE FOR HIM.

82. AND NOW, PLEASE HELP YOURSELF

83. TO CAKE AND ICE CREAM

84. AT OUR "VOTE FOR WILLIE" CAMPAIGN BUS.

85. Crowd ( chanting ): Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie!

86. HEY, CHALKY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

87. WILLIE'S DAD IS HELPING HIM CAMPAIGN.

88. HE WANTS TO START HIS SON OFF RIGHT

89. FOR HIS POLITICAL FUTURE.

90. BUT, BUT...

91. OH, MAN.

92. Your son's campaign may be important

93. but what about your own campaign

94. against Tippy Dink?

95. "Tippy Dink who?" is what I say.

96. I've got more important things to worry about.

97. Here, have a "Vote for Willie" button.

98. "Tippy Dink who?" indeed.

99. We went out to find the answer.

100. Who am I?

101. I've served on city council for years

102. and the mayor has paid no attention

103. to the council's efforts

104. to improve our streets and highways.

105. The mayor had this response:

106. Fix our streets and highways?

107. That's not my job.

108. It's to sit in that big chair and be the mayor.

109. My son's running for class treasurer.

110. WILLIE'S GETTING

111. ALL THESE PLUGS ON TV.

112. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST THROW IN THE TOWEL.

113. WHAT? BUT WHY, DOUG?

114. WHAT ABOUT YOUR IDEALS?

115. I'M JUST RUNNING FOR CLASS TREASURER.

116. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M RUNNING FOR MAYOR.

117. STOP THE PRESSES!

118. OUR PROBLEMS ARE OVER!

119. I'VE GOT FLYERS AND POSTERS

120. AND BUMPER STICKERS— THE WORKS.

121. "VOTE FOR DAN FREEBIRD."

122. WHO'S DAN FREEBIRD?

123. MY UNCLE RAN FOR CITY TREASURER LAST YEAR AND LOST.

124. HE'S GOT THE SAME INITIALS AS YOU.

125. THE NEXT DAY I WENT TO SCHOOL

126. INTENDING TO TELL WILLIE I WAS PULLING OUT OF THE RACE.

127. BUT BEFORE I COULD...

128. Mr. Attention.

129. Before I make the lunch announcements

130. all of you stay tuned

131. for this paid political announcement.

132. Don't you want a class treasurer you can trust?

133. One of your candidates may have stolen money.

134. Willie White has never been caught stealing.

135. One of your candidates may have cheated in math.

136. Willie White believes mathematics is very important.

137. Vote Willie White, a candidate you can trust.

138. Paid for by The Committee To Elect Willie White.

139. HEY, GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!

140. VOTE FOR ME, THE HONEST GUY.

141. I NEVER STOLE OR CHEATED IN MY LIFE.

142. I NEVER SAID YOU DID.

143. BUT THAT COMMERCIAL...

144. YOU SHOWED MY PICTURE.

145. MUDSLINGING ISN'T GOING TO GET YOU ANYWHERE.

146. Girl HE'S RIGHT, DOUG.

147. LET'S HEAR WILLIE.

148. BUT I DIDN'T...

149. ( whispers: ) YOU GOT THEM.

150. RUN WITH IT, SON.

151. UH, IF I'M ELECTED CLASS TREASURER

152. MY FIRST ACT IN OFFICE WILL BE TO, UH... DUH...

153. OH, YEAH!

154. LOWER THE CANDY MACHINE PRICES BY A NICKEL.

155. I... I'M...

156. AND ON TOP OF THAT

157. I'LL LOWER SODA PRICES BY A DIME.

158. WELL, I'M...

159. IF I'M ELECTED CLASS TREASURER, CANDY AND SODA WILL BE FREE.

160. Students ( chanting ): DOUG, DOUG, DOUG, DOUG!

161. DOUG, DOUG, DOUG, DOUG, DOUG, DOUG!

162. THIS PROVES ONCE AGAIN

163. THAT IT REALLY ISN'T OVER TILL THE FAT LADY SINGS

164. AND SHE'S SINGING VICTORY FOR DOUG FUNNIE.

165. IN THE BIGGEST POLITICAL UPSET

166. FUNNIE HAS WON

167. "FREE CANDY AND SODA"-- A PHRASE FOR A NEW GENERATION.

168. EXCUSE ME, SIR.

169. SIGN HERE, PLEASE.

170. AN AUTOGRAPH?

171. WHY, OF COURSE.

172. WHO'S IT FOR?

173. POOPSI COLA AND CANDY COMPANY.

174. IT'S YOUR BILL.

175. WOW, MAN.

176. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD GET US

177. FREE CANDY AND SODA.

178. I CAN'T, SKEETER.

179. I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO...

180. WAY TO GO, DOUG.

181. DUH, FREE CANDY AND SODA?

182. WOW, YOU GOT MY VOTE, DOUG.

183. NO, HE DOESN'T.

184. COME ON.

185. IT WAS AWFUL.

186. I COULD ONLY THINK ABOUT MY STUPID CAMPAIGN PROMISE.

187. WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?

188. I HAD TO TELL THEM SOMETHING

189. THEY WANTED TO HEAR.

190. IF YOU WANT TO PROMISE YOUR CLASSMATES SOMETHING

191. MAKE SURE IT'S A PROMISE YOU CAN KEEP.

192. LIKE WHAT?

193. IN MY CAMPAIGN FOR MAYOR

194. I'VE PROMISED TO IMPROVE OUR CITY STREETS, AND I WILL.

195. BUT I'M JUST RUNNING FOR TREASURER.

196. MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO FIGURE OUT

197. JUST WHAT A CLASS TREASURER DOES.

198. MRS. DINK WAS RIGHT.

199. I COULDN'T JUST MAKE PROMISES I COULDN'T KEEP.

200. SO THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL...

201. DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG!

202. FELLOW STUDENTS, I KNOW YOU MAY HAVE HEARD

203. THAT YESTERDAY I PROMISED YOU FREE CANDY AND SODA.

204. WELL, THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS...

205. I LIED.

206. I CAN'T GIVE YOU THAT.

207. I DID IT BECAUSE I WAS SO DESPERATE TO WIN YOUR VOTES.

208. IT WAS AN EMPTY PROMISE AND I WAS WRONG TO MAKE IT.

209. IT'S IN THE BAG.

210. WHAT I CAN PROMISE

211. IF I AM ELECTED, I'LL HAVE THE CANDY AND SODA MACHINES FIXED

212. AND IF THEY STILL EAT YOUR MONEY

213. I'LL MAKE SURE THE TREASURY GIVES YOU A REFUND.

214. I'LL DO ALL I CAN TO SERVE HONESTLY AND FAITHFULLY

215. AND THAT'S A PROMISE I CAN KEEP.

216. YAY!

217. SO THE SPEECH DIDN'T GO OVER AS BIG AS I'D HOPED.

218. THAT NIGHT, WE ALL WAITED FOR THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION.

219. In local news, the city of Bluffington

220. has a new mayor, Ms. Tippingdale Dink.

221. A landslide victory in a supposedly one-sided race

222. Mayor White's supporters alleged he lost

223. because of the time he spent on his son's campaign

224. for Bluffington school treasurer.

225. Unfortunately for the mayor, his son Willie was also defeated

226. by businessman Dan Freebird.

227. You may remember Freebird

228. from his unsuccessful bid for city treasurer last year.

229. HUH?

230. BOY, WON'T UNCLE DAN BE SURPRISED!

231. DEAR JOURNAL, ALL MY LIFE

232. I'VE WANTED TO BE A WINNER: TO BE THE BEST, TO BE ON TOP.

233. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN—

234. IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT A WHOPPING 67½ POUNDS

235. THE CHAMPION, DOUG "FAST FISTS" FUNNIE!

236. WELL, I FINALLY WAS.

237. BUT THE PERSON I WAS GETTING THE BEST OF...

238. AND IN THIS CORNER,

239. PATTI MAYONNAISE!

240. WAS THE GIRL I SECRETLY LOVED.

241. UM, PATTI, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?

242. COME ON, DOUG, PUT THEM UP!

243. HEY, CAN WE CALL THIS OFF?

244. PATTI?

245. THE WINNER AND

246. DOUG "FAST FISTS" FUNNIE!

247. BUT I...

248. IT'S, UM...

249. THAT'S ME.

250. HEY!

251. THE WHOLE THING STARTED

252. WHEN SKEETER, PATTI AND I DECIDED TO GO BOWLING.

253. AS USUAL, PATTI HAD BEEN CREAMING US

254. BUT SKEETER AND I HUNG IN THERE.

255. WHOO-WHOO, HA! HA!

256. VALENTINE IS ON THE BOARD! YAY!

257. KEEP IT UP AND YOU'LL GET INTO DOUBLE DIGITS IN NO TIME.

258. OKAY, DOUG, YOU'RE UP.

259. WHAT DO I NEED TO WIN THIS THING?

260. WELL, BESIDES A MIRACLE

261. IF THE REST OF YOUR ROLLS ARE STRIKES

262. YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE.

263. WELL, MISS MAYONNAISE

264. PREPARE TO EAT PINS.

265. ALL RIGHT, MAN, COOL!

266. NICE ONE, DOUG.

267. RIGHT! YEAH!

268. ALL RIGHT!

269. ME, SEVEN

270. PATTI, A RESPECTABLE 128, AND WITH A SCORE OF 130

271. WINNING BY TWO POINTS

272. AND MAKING THE GREATEST COMEBACK

273. IN BOWLING HISTORY

274. THAT BOWLING FOOL, DOUG FUNNIE!

275. WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON.

276. I'VE NEVER BEAT PATTI AT ANYTHING.

277. BOY, PATTI

278. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D WIN.

279. DID YOU?

280. I... I GUESS WE'VE ALL GOT TO WIN SOMETIME.

281. YEAH, AND LOSE, TOO.

282. WHAT DO YOU SAY DOUG BUYS US

283. A VICTORY SHAKE?

284. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT.

285. HE WAS MURDERING THOSE PINS.

286. CRACK-O!

287. WOW, DOUG, YOU REALLY BEAT PATTI?

288. I WOULDN'T SAY BEAT.

289. LET'S JUST SAY I SQUEAKED BY.

290. RIGHT, PATTI?

291. PATTI!

292. HUH? YEAH, UH...

293. SAY, DOUG, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A GAME OF MOON DOG?

294. LOSER BUYS THE NEXT SHAKES?

295. WELL, SURE, I GUESS... WHOA!

296. WOW, PATTI, YOU DID GREAT.

297. OKAY, DOUG.

298. YOU'VE GOT TO SCORE 99 MILLION ON THIS

299. TO BEAT ME.

300. GOOD LUCK.

301. WELL, HERE GOES NOTHING.

302. GO, DOUG!

303. YOU'VE GOT IT!

304. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LUCKY HE IS!

305. WOW, I DID IT!

306. AND I GOT HIGH SCORE!

307. ALL ON MY LAST MOON DOG.

308. BOY, DID YOU EVER THINK

309. I'D DO IT, PATTI?

310. PATTI?

311. GREAT JOB, MAN!

312. PATTI HAD TO TAKE OFF

313. BUT SHE GAVE ME THE CASH TO BUY YOU THAT SHAKE.

314. I COULDN'T BELIEVE I WON.

315. FIRST BOWLING, THEN MOON DOG.

316. I DIDN'T THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT

317. BUT PATTI, ON THE OTHER HAND...

318. OH, MAN.

319. WOW, SHE'S REALLY WORKED UP.

320. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER AT SOCCER PRACTICE.

321. SHE COULDN'T EVEN KICK THE BALL STRAIGHT.

322. SHE'S REALLY LOST IT.

323. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

324. PATTI, ARE YOU OKAY?

325. OH, HEY, DOUG.

326. I WAS JUST SHOOTING SOME BASKETS.

327. PATTI, YOU'RE NOT MAD

328. BECAUSE I BEAT YOU YESTERDAY?

329. I WOULDN'T CALL IT MAD, EXACTLY.

330. MORE LIKE CURSED.

331. IT'S LIKE I LOST MY TOUCH.

332. I HARDLY EVER LOSE—

333. ESPECIALLY TO YOU.

334. NO OFFENSE.

335. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'LL NEVER BEAT ME AGAIN.

336. WHY DON'T YOU PLAY ME AT SOMETHING ELSE

337. AND CREAM ME LIKE ALWAYS?

338. OOH, WHAT ABOUT BONKLE BALL?

339. WELL, MAYBE.

340. BUT YOU WON'T JUST LET ME WIN, WILL YOU?

341. PATTI, I DON'T HAVE TO.

342. YOU ALWAYS CREAM ME AT BONKLE BALL.

343. AW...

344. DOUG.

345. PATTI, IT WASN'T...

346. I... I JUST...

347. GOOD GAME.

348. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

349. EVERY SHOT I HIT WAS A SCORCHER.

350. THOSE SHOTS WERE AMAZING.

351. IT LOOKED LIKE YOU WEREN'T EVEN TRYING.

352. I WASN'T— SHE MUST THINK I TRIED

353. TO MAKE HER LOOK LIKE A FOOL.

354. I HOPE SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH.

355. I HOPE SHE KNOWS

356. I THINK SHE'S...

357. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO ANNOUNCE

358. WHO IS THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD.

359. AND THE WINNER IS... PATTI MAYO...

360. WAIT, HOLD ON A MINUTE.

361. THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

362. THE WINNER IS THE GUY IN THE FRONT ROW

363. THREE CHAIRS FROM THE LEFT!

364. NOT AGAIN!

365. SHE MUST THINK I'M THE JERK OF THE WORLD.

366. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE CHARMED.

367. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY AS LUCKY AS YOU.

368. SUDDENLY YOU'RE WINNING EVERYTHING.

369. IT'S ALMOST LIKE ANYTHING I DO...

370. THAT'S IT— I'M ON A WINNING STREAK.

371. MAYBE IF MY LUCK RAN OUT, PATTI COULD CREAM ME AGAIN.

372. YEAH, BUT THAT COULD TAKE WEEKS.

373. NOT NECESSARILY.

374. HERE'S ONE, MAN.

375. I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

376. SEVEN YEARS OF BAD LUCK IS A LONG TIME.

377. IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

378. WE BETTER GET TO THE HARDWARE STORE

379. BEFORE IT CLOSES.

380. OKAY, DOUG.

381. SEVEN UNLUCKY LADDERS.

382. GO FOR IT, MAN!

383. YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH BAD LUCK?

384. I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

385. WE SHOULD CALL MY GRANDMA.

386. SHE CAN MAKE YOU REALLY UNLUCKY.

387. YOU GOT THE MASHED POTATOES

388. IN YOUR POCKET?

389. THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID?

390. YEAH, MAN.

391. NOW TURN AROUND THREE TIMES

392. AND WHISTLE "TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR."

393. WAS THAT ENOUGH, DOUG?

394. I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.

395. OW!

396. ALL RIGHT— BAD LUCK!

397. SKEETER AND I THEN LOOKED FOR PATTI.

398. HER DAD TOLD US SHE WAS PRACTICING BOWLING

399. SO WE RUSHED OVER.

400. OOF!

401. YEAH!

402. COOL, MAN!

403. HEY, PATTI.

404. DOUG, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

405. JUST A LITTLE BAD LUCK.

406. WOULD YOU BOWL A GAME WITH ME?

407. I DON'T KNOW, DOUG.

408. COME ON, PATTI.

409. OW! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

410. THIS IS TERRIBLE.

411. I GUESS MY GRANDMA'S MASHED POTATOES

412. ARE NO MATCH FOR YOUR WINNING STREAK.

413. WHEW!

414. AND IT'S A CLOSE GAME.

415. PATTI NEEDS TO THROW ONE STRIKE TO WIN.

416. AND IF SHE DOESN'T, THEN IT'S ALL FUNNIE'S GAME.

417. I COULDN'T LET PATTI WRECK HERSELF THIS WAY.

418. I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING.

419. PATTI, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WIN OR LOSE.

420. IT'S JUST A STUPID GAME.

421. THIS DOESN'T PROVE

422. SOMEONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER.

423. I KNOW, DOUG, BUT...

424. NO "BUTS."

425. WIN OR LOSE, I STILL THINK

426. YOU'RE THE MOST WONDERFUL GIRL

427. IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

428. WOW, DOUG.

429. I GUESS I WAS OVERREACTING.

430. SO WHAT IF I GET BEAT ONCE IN A WHILE?

431. THAT'S JUST THE WAY THE BALL BOUNCES.

432. THANKS, DOUG.

433. WHAT DO YOU KNOW, PATTI?

434. YOU DID GR...

435. WHOA!

436. WHOA! I WON!

437. DOUG, I BEAT YOU!

438. I WON!

439. WHOA!

440. SO MAYBE IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WIN OR LOSE

441. BUT PATTI SURE DID HAVE A GOOD TIME WINNING.

442. I WHUPPED YOUR BUTT!

443. OKAY, PATTI, SO YOU WON.

444. IT WAS PRETTY CLOSE.

445. WHOA, I WON, YEAH!

446. PATTI, PEOPLE ARE STARING.

447. I DON'T CARE.

448. Captioned by The Caption Center Educational Foundation