Doug 4x3

Directed by Marc Sevier • Tony Eastman

Doug is accused of cheating when he and Chalky score identical marks on a test. He is given one day to confess or he'll have to take a re-test. Doug knows he didn't cheat so he tries to talk about it with Chalky, but he keeps avoiding Doug.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING SPONSORED BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2. COOL! WHOA!

3. I SOLEMNLY PROMISE TO RESPECT

4. ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE FOREST

5. BE THEY SMALL AND CUDDLY...

6. DEAR JOURNAL, EVERY WEEK WE HAVE OUR BLUFF SCOUT MEETINGS

7. IN THE BLUFFINGTON PUBLIC LIBRARY.

8. SHHH!

9. HUH?

10. SHH!

11. ( whispering: ) AND ACT ACCORDING TO THE BLUFF SCOUT CODE.

12. AND THIS WEEK'S OFFICIAL

13. PREPARING FOR SUMMER CAMP.

14. SHHH!

15. ( quietly: ) AS YOU KNOW, OUR OLD CANOES

16. ARE GETTING A LITTLE WORN OUT.

17. BUT THIS YEAR...

18. GET A LOAD OF THESE BABIES.

19. OH... WOW, WOW!

20. 5-9-2-7.

21. QUIET!

22. BUT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THEM

23. BUT DON'T WORRY.

24. THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM, NO SIREE

25. BECAUSE THAT JUST MEANS IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER—

26. YOU GUESSED IT— BLUFF SCOUT DOOR-TO-DOOR FUNDRAISING DRIVE.

27. AW, MAN!

28. SHHH!

29. THAT'S ME.

30. HEY!

31. HOW WILL WE SELL THAT MUCH?

32. ESPECIALLY WITH THE STUFF THEY GIVE US.

33. REMEMBER LAST YEAR?

34. THOSE CRUMMY BOOSTER BARS?

35. YEAH, WOULDN'T IT BE COOL

36. IF IT WAS SOMETHING PEOPLE WANT TO BUY?

37. TV host: WELCOME TO ASTOUNDING PRODUCTS.

38. ARE YOU READY TO SEE TODAY'S NEW ASTOUNDING PRODUCT?

39. YES!

40. ALL RIGHT.

41. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US TODAY, DOUG?

42. WELL, SKEETER, WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

43. THAT I HAD SOMETHING TRULY ASTOUNDING?

44. A SIMPLE POCKETKNIFE?

45. NOW, DOUG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S SO ASTOUNDING ABOUT THAT.

46. WELL, NOW, SKEETER, IT'S NOT JUST ANY POCKETKNIFE.

47. WHY, IT'S A BLUFF SCOUT POCKETKNIFE-A-MA-JIG.

48. KNIFE-A-MA-JIG?

49. SOUNDS COMPLICATED, DOUG.

50. NO, SKEETER, IT'S A CINCH.

51. WITH A SIMPLE FLICK OF THE WRIST, YOU'VE GOT A BLADE...

52. A SCISSORS...

53. A WATER-PURIFICATION SYSTEM...

54. WOW!

55. AND A SATELLITE DISH.

56. A SOLAR-POWERED WASHER-DRYER

57. AND...

58. A TOOTHPICK.

59. GIVE ME ONE, I'LL TAKE ONE...

60. OKAY, OKAY, HOLD ON.

61. THERE'S ENOUGH FOR EVERYBODY.

62. IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THAT GREAT.

63. JUST AS LONG AS IT WASN'T...

64. BLUFF SCOUT CHOCOLATE BOOSTER BARS.

65. THAT STUFF IS A JOKE.

66. EVERYBODY HATES IT.

67. YEAH, LAST YEAR I COULD ONLY SELL ONE BAR

68. AND THAT WAS TO MYSELF.

69. NOW, BOYS, THAT'S NOT THE BLUFF SCOUT SPIRIT.

70. THINK POSITIVE.

71. NOW, IN ORDER FOR YOUR PATROL TO EARN ITS CANOE

72. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SELL ONE BOX EACH.

73. ONE BOX, THAT'S ONLY...

74. 25 BARS?

75. OOH, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT, SON.

76. DON'T WE STILL HAVE THE ONE YOU BOUGHT LAST YEAR?

77. ASK YOUR SISTER, DEAR.

78. UH-UH.

79. I AM NOT PARTICIPATING

80. IN YOUR CAPITALIST MONEY-MAKING SCAM.

81. BUT JUDY, IT'S FOR CHARITY.

82. DOUGIE, BUYING YOU A CANOE

83. IS HARDLY WHAT I WOULD CALL A CHARITY.

84. BESIDES, THEY TASTE LIKE CEMENT.

85. HUH?

86. WHY NOT TRY OUR UNSUSPECTING NEIGHBORS?

87. HELLO, I'M DOUG FUNNIE.

88. I'M SELLING CHOCOLATE FOR MY BLUFF SCOUT PATROL.

89. WHAT?

90. HOG LAKE?

91. ( shouts: ) CHOCOLATE!

92. SOCK-LATE?

93. CHOC-O-LATE!

94. OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

95. OF COURSE I'LL BUY SOME.

96. WAIT...

97. ARE THOSE BLUFF SCOUT BOOSTER BARS?

98. YES, MA'AM.

99. ( shouts: ) YES, MA'AM.

100. YUCK! THEY TASTE LIKE CEMENT.

101. HELLO, I'M DOUG FUNNIE.

102. I'M SELLING CHOCOLATE FOR MY BLUFF SCOUT PATROL.

103. BLUFF SCOUT BOOSTER BAR?

104. YES, SIR.

105. ALREADY GOT ONE.

106. YES, SIR—

107. I EVER HAD, TOO.

108. HELLO, I'M DOUG FUNNIE AND I'M...

109. NO!

110. IT MAKES A GOOD DOOR STOP.

111. HELLO, I'M DOUG FUNNIE...

112. HELLO, I'M...

113. HELLO...

114. HEL...

115. I COULD JUST SEE WHAT THIS YEAR'S SUMMER CAMP

116. WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.

117. HEY, DOUG!

118. THANKS A LOT, DOUG.

119. YEAH.

120. IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME WAY TO SELL THIS STUFF.

121. WHAT?

122. HOW IS HE...?

123. GOOD AFTERNOON, MA'AM— CAN I CALL YOU MA'AM?

124. THAT'S A FINE DRESS.

125. IT PERFECTLY COMPLEMENTS

126. THE BEAUTIFUL PAINT JOB ON YOUR HOUSE.

127. DO YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE?

128. SURE YOU DO.

129. THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO LET YOU IN ON

130. A SECRET CALLED THE BLUFF SCOUT BOOSTER BAR.

131. I JUST TOLD ANOTHER SCOUT NO.

132. THEY TASTE LIKE CEMENT.

133. YOU MUST BE REFERRING TO LAST YEAR'S MODEL.

134. IT'S A NEW, IMPROVED FORMULA.

135. TASTE A FREE SAMPLE.

136. IT'S FREE.

137. EW!

138. WHY, THAT'S DELICIOUS.

139. THREE, FOUR, FIVE BARS.

140. SORRY, LADY, THAT'S ALL I GOT.

141. HEY, FUNNIE, MOVING YOUR MERCHANDISE?

142. HOW DID YOU DO IT?

143. HOW DID YOU GET PEOPLE TO BUY IT?

144. YOU JUST GOT TO GET CREATIVE.

145. IT'S ALL IN THE PRESENTATION.

146. GIVE THAT BACK!

147. WAIT A MINUTE...

148. WHAT'S THIS?

149. THIS ISN'T BLUFF SCOUT CHOCOLATE.

150. IT'S FOREIGN STUFF.

151. YOU'RE CHEATING.

152. I'M JUST DOING MY BLUFF SCOUT DUTY.

153. WE NEED THESE CANOES FOR THE TROOP, RIGHT?

154. RIGHT.

155. TO GET THEM

156. WE NEED TO SELL THIS JUNK, RIGHT?

157. RIGHT.

158. OR WE LET THE WHOLE TROOP DOWN, RIGHT?

159. WELL...

160. FUNNIE, I WAS IN YOUR SHOES ONCE

161. STUCK WITH THIS LAME-O STUFF.

162. I WASN'T SELLING A BAR, THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

163. IT CAME TO ME LIKE A VISION.

164. THIS WASN'T JUST FOR ME.

165. I WAS SELLING THIS CHOCOLATE

166. FOR EVERY KID WHO EVER HAS

167. OR EVER WILL PUT ON A BLUFF SCOUT UNIFORM.

168. I WOULD BE CHEATING NOT ONLY MYSELF

169. NOT ONLY THE BLUFF SCOUTS, BUT HUMANITY ITSELF

170. IF I DIDN'T DO EVERYTHING I COULD TO MOVE THIS CHOCOLATE!

171. YOU GOT TO DECIDE.

172. DO YOU WANT TO BE A ZERO OR A HERO?

173. Mr. MANY YEARS AGO, WHEN OUR BLUFF SCOUT TROOP

174. WAS ONLY A RAGGED BAND OF MISFITS

175. ONE BRAVE BOY STOOD OUT.

176. THROUGH HIS TIRELESS CHOCOLATEERING

177. THIS BOY TRANSFORMED US

178. INTO THE WORLD-RENOWNED TROOP WE ARE TODAY.

179. DOUGLAS FUNNIE, A TRUE HERO.

180. WELL, PORKCHOP...

181. HERE GOES NOTHING.

182. BUT IT IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE TROOP.

183. WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE, RIGHT?

184. RIGHT?

185. SO LONG, DEAR, HAVE A SWIRLY DAY.

186. MR. SWIRLY!

187. HEY, SCOUT, WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

188. BLUFF SCOUT BOOSTER BARS.

189. DO YOU WANT TO BUY ONE?

190. I GOT MORE CHOCOLATE THAN I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH.

191. IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

192. WELL, I THINK MAYBE I COULD GO FOR SOME.

193. IS IT TASTY?

194. WELL, UM... YOU DECIDE.

195. HERE, HAVE A... A FREE SAMPLE.

196. SAY, THAT IS GOOD!

197. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A GREAT SALESMAN.

198. NO HIGH PRESSURE, JUST TELL IT LIKE IT IS.

199. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU BLUFF SCOUTS.

200. I'LL BUY THE WHOLE BOX.

201. ALL OF THEM?

202. I'M SORRY, MR. SWIRLY, I CAN'T.

203. WHAT'S THAT?

204. THAT SAMPLE WAS FAKE.

205. HERE, THIS IS THE REAL STUFF.

206. YUCK! THIS CHOCOLATE

207. TASTES LIKE CEMENT.

208. WHO MAKES THIS JUNK?

209. WHAT?

210. OH, MY GOODNESS!

211. I MAKE THIS JUNK.

212. THIS IS TERRIBLE.

213. COME ON!

214. I HAVE TO FIX THIS RIGHT AWAY.

215. HELLO, THIS IS SWIRLY.

216. WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY.

217. OPEN THE FACTORY GATES.

218. I'M COMING IN.

219. THERE'S THE PROBLEM.

220. IT IS CEMENT.

221. I'LL HAVE THIS MESS SORTED OUT AT ONCE.

222. BLUFF SCOUT, YOU'VE DONE A GREAT SERVICE.

223. YOU'RE A HERO.

224. AND SO MR. SWIRLY'S RECALLING ALL THE CONCRETE BOOSTER BARS

225. AND GIVING US NEW EDIBLE CHOCOLATE.

226. YEAH!

227. SHHH!

228. I WANT TO RETURN THESE BARS AND BUY NEW CHOCOLATE

229. FROM AN HONEST SCOUT.

230. SO ROGER HAD TO GIVE ALL THE MONEY BACK

231. AND WE STARTED OUR FUNDRAISING DRIVE ALL OVER AGAIN

232. AND THIS TIME, WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO GO DOOR-TO-DOOR.

233. DEAR JOURNAL, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SPENDING A WEEK

234. AT GRANDMA FUNNIE'S.

235. SHE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A GRANDSON.

236. FINISHED WITH YOUR CAKE, DOUG?

237. ONE MORE SLICE TO GO... MMM... GRANDMA.

238. I COULDN'T REMEMBER WHETHER YOU LIKED

239. CHOCOLATE FUDGE OR BUTTERSCOTCH ON YOUR ICE CREAM

240. SO I BROUGHT BOTH.

241. HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE.

242. AS SOON AS I GET THESE STICKY BUNS OUT OF THE OVEN

243. WE'LL GO RENT SOME MORE MOVIES

244. AND ON OUR WAY HOME

245. WE CAN PICK UP A COUPLE OF PIZZAS.

246. I HOPE DOUGLAS HAD A GOOD TIME.

247. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM.

248. DOUGLAS, YOU'RE HERE!

249. YOU'RE HOME!

250. YOU'RE... HUGE!

251. THAT'S ME.

252. HEY!

253. MAYBE JUDY'S RIGHT.

254. MAYBE I HAVE GOTTEN...

255. I CAN'T LET ANYONE SEE ME LIKE THIS.

256. WHAT'S THAT?

257. RUN!

258. HIDE YOUR FOOD.

259. OH, NO, IT'S HIM!

260. HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S COOKING?

261. NO, PORKCHOP...

262. DON'T.

263. HEY, DOUG, WELCOME BACK.

264. HI, SKEET, WHAT'S UP?

265. WANTED TO SEE IF YOU MADE IT BACK.

266. COOL DRESS.

267. IT'S NOT A DRESS.

268. I JUST DON'T... WELL, I DON'T FEEL WELL.

269. CALM DOWN.

270. HOW COME YOU'RE SO JITTERY?

271. CAN'T YOU TELL?

272. UH-UH.

273. WHEW, I THOUGHT MAYBE I LOOKED A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

274. NO, YOU LOOK THE SAME—

275. ONLY FAT.

276. OH, HERE, IT'S AN INVITATION

277. TO BEE BE'S POOL PARTY NEXT WEEK.

278. POOL PARTY?

279. AS IN "SWIMMING POOL"?

280. WHAT'S THAT?

281. QUICK, OUT OF THE POOL!

282. OH, NO, IT'S TOO LATE, IT'S HERE!

283. BIG FATTY!

284. YOU BIG, FAT LOSER, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO BEE BE'S PARTY!

285. YOU'RE SURE THAT'S ALL YOU WANT, DOUGLAS?

286. UH-HUH, I GOT TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT BEFORE SATURDAY.

287. DIETING IS FINE, DOUG, BUT DON'T GO OVERBOARD.

288. THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR GOOD OLD-FASHIONED CALISTHENICS.

289. CALISTHENICS?

290. YOU COULD TRY JOGGING.

291. MMM... ( gulps )

292. GO ON A FAST.

293. FASTING IS SO SPIRITUAL.

294. IT CLEANSES THE BODY AND THE SOUL.

295. OR IF THAT DOESN'T WORK

296. WE COULD ALWAYS SEND PORKY TO THE FAT FARM.

297. CAN IT, JUDY!

298. LET'S TRY TO BE HELPFUL.

299. OKAY, LITTLE BROTHER, TELL YOU WHAT.

300. COME TO MY ROOM AFTER DINNER AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT TO DO.

301. NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES

302. AND VISUALIZE YOURSELF THIN.

303. SEE IT AND BE IT.

304. THINK THIN.

305. I'M THIN, I'M THIN...

306. YOU'RE A TWIG.

307. NOW YOU'RE A PIPE CLEANER.

308. NOW YOU'RE A PIECE OF STRING.

309. NOW GET UP!

310. NOW YOU'RE A FEATHER WAFTING IN THE BREEZE.

311. WAFT, DOUG, WAFT.

312. WAFT...

313. WAFT...

314. I'M WAFTING.

315. I'M A FEATHER.

316. I'LL BET YOU FEEL THINNER ALREADY.

317. GEE, I DO.

318. THANKS, JUDY.

319. DON'T MENTION IT.

320. NOW GO OUT AND FACE THE WORLD AS A NEW MAN.

321. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, I'M STILL FAT.

322. OF COURSE YOU'RE STILL FAT, DOUGIE.

323. THE POINT IS, YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT.

324. I HAD TO THINK THIN A LOT

325. TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.

326. I'M A TWIG, I'M STRING, I'M A FEATHER...

327. ( whispering: ) I'M A TWIG, I'M STRING, I'M A FEATHER.

328. SO MANY OF THE LARGER MAMMALS— BEARS, ELEPHANTS, WHALES—

329. HAVE SEVERAL EXTRA LAYERS OF FATTY TISSUE TO KEEP THEM WARM

330. IN THE WINTER.

331. BUT MRS. WINGO, WHAT ABOUT THE SUMMERTIME?

332. DO THEY GET HOT?

333. WELL, NOW, WHY DON'T WE ASK SOMEONE

334. WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BLUBBER?

335. WHAT DO YOU THINK, FATTY?

336. FATTY, FATTY, FATTY?

337. IT WAS AWFUL.

338. I KEPT DREAMING ABOUT SCHOOL AND I WAS STILL ON VACATION.

339. THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

340. Welcome to Body Shaped by Ronald

341. with your host, me, Ronald.

342. Prepare to suffer.

343. One, arms up

344. Two, legs out

345. Three, leg back

346. Four, toes in.

347. One, two, three, four.

348. One, two, three, four.

349. One, two, three, four.

350. Come on, Fatty, your blubber disgusts me.

351. PORKCHOP!

352. HMM?

353. Now, pogo-aerobics.

354. Go, jump, higher, higher!

355. You are more blimp than man.

356. Jump!

357. WHOA...

358. To continue this program

359. purchase tape number two.

360. STRIPES, DOUG.

361. HUH?

362. VERTICAL STRIPES.

363. AND DARK COLORS.

364. THAT'LL HIDE IT EVEN BETTER.

365. HIDE WHAT?

366. MY FAT?

367. WE'RE NOT FAT, DOUG.

368. I'M BIG-BONED.

369. AND I'M STOUT.

370. THEN WHAT AM I?

371. HUSKY.

372. Welcome back, you pig.

373. Keep going.

374. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

375. Ah, does not this feel good?

376. OH, HI, DOUG.

377. HOW'S THE DIET GOING?

378. OH, DONUTS.

379. IS THAT A... BEAR CLAW?

380. YEAH, CREAM-FILLED.

381. ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT WHOLE BAG?

382. GOT TO, MAN.

383. IT'S FOR MY DIET.

384. I'M WAY TOO SKINNY FOR A POOL PARTY.

385. SEE YOU POOLSIDE TOMORROW, MAN.

386. ONE MORE DAY... ONLY ONE MORE DAY.

387. 998, 999...

388. 1,000.

389. You have done it, I love you.

390. Now you are ready for tape number 3.

391. ALL RIGHT!

392. PORKCHOP, I'M BACK TO MY NORMAL WEIGHT.

393. THEN WHY DO I STILL LOOK LIKE THIS?

394. Mr. BETTER GET A MOVE-ON, DOUG.

395. YOU'LL BE LATE.

396. I'M NOT GOING.

397. YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

398. AND YOU'VE LOST ALL THAT WEIGHT.

399. NO, I HAVEN'T.

400. LOOK AT THIS.

401. FACE IT, YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THAT LITTLE TUMMY.

402. JUDY!

403. YOU LOOK JUST FINE, DEAR.

404. NO ONE WILL GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT.

405. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OVERBOARD ON THIS DIET THING.

406. AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE WAITING FOR YOU.

407. WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

408. "BEE BE, I'D LIKE TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT

409. BUT I MIGHT GET SUNBURN"?

410. "I ATE JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO SO I BETTER NOT SWIM"?

411. NAH.

412. I GOT IT, PORKCHOP!

413. I'LL SAY I FORGOT MY SWIMSUIT.

414. Mr. ALL ASHORE!

415. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

416. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

417. HIYA, DOUG.

418. I WAS AFRAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO SHOW.

419. SKEET, HOW COME NOBODY'S IN THE POOL?

420. WE ALL FORGOT OUR SUITS.

421. DOESN'T ANYBODY WANT TO GO IN?

422. I BURN EASILY.

423. I JUST ATE.

424. IT'S TOO HOT TO SWIM.

425. IT'S NICE TO JUST LOOK AT THE WATER.

426. YOU WANT TO SWIM, DON'T YOU?

427. YEAH, I'M DYING TO, BUT I'M STILL TOO SKINNY.

428. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

429. EVERYBODY WAS AS MISERABLE AS I WAS

430. ABOUT BEING SEEN IN THEIR BATHING SUIT.

431. I WOULD GO IN, BUT THEY'LL LAUGH AT MY BONY SHOULDERS.

432. EVEN PATTI.

433. I SUPPOSE YOU FORGOT YOUR BATHING SUIT, TOO, DOUG?

434. I... UH...

435. UH...

436. THIS WAS STUPID.

437. IT WAS WAY TOO HOT TO BE EMBARRASSED.

438. HEY, LOOK AT ME, EVERYBODY!

439. I'M RONALD WEISENHEIMER.

440. PREPARE TO SUFFER.

441. I'M RONALD WEISENHEIMER, JUNIOR.

442. AND I'M RHONDA WEISENHEIMER.

443. ME, TOO.

444. WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

445. SO WE ALL GOT OVER THE EMBARRASSMENT

446. OF BEING SEEN IN OUR BATHING SUITS

447. AND THE PARTY TURNED OUT GREAT.

448. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GET OVER IT AND JUMP IN.

449. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING— IT'S A WHOLE LOT COOLER.

450. Captioned by The Caption Center Educational Foundation