Doug 4x13

Directed by Paul Sparagano

Doug beats Patti in a bowling match, and Skeeter tells everyone about it. Doug gains popularity, but feels bad about beating Patti everytime they play a game. It seems Patti is having a losing streak and is upset about it.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING SPONSORED BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2. COOL! WHOA!

3. GOOD OLD BLUFFINGTON SCHOOL.

4. IT WAS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SOON I'D BE LEAVING IT FOR GOOD.

5. THREE DAYS, MAN.

6. THREE DAYS.

7. OH, THREE DAYS.

8. THREE DAYS... IN THREE DAYS, WE WERE GRADUATING.

9. WHOO-HOO! SAYONARA, SUCKERS.

10. I'VE DONE MY TIME.

11. I'M OUT OF HERE.

12. EVERYBODY WAS REALLY EXCITED EXCEPT ONE PERSON—

13. ME.

14. THAT'S ME.

15. HEY!

16. HEY, MAN.

17. WHY THE LONG FACE?

18. I DON'T KNOW, SKEET.

19. I JUST FEEL FUNNY.

20. CHEER UP, MAN.

21. THREE MORE DAYS

22. AND IT'S GOOD-BYE BLUFFINGTON SCHOOL.

23. I KNOW, BUT I STILL FEEL DOWN.

24. TALK TO MR. SHELLACKY ABOUT IT.

25. THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.

26. WE CONSULTED HIM BEFORE.

27. AND LOOK AT US NOW.

28. HOW ABOUT MR. BONE?

29. HE ALWAYS STRAIGHTENS ME OUT.

30. WHAT ABOUT PRINCIPAL BUTTSAVITCH?

31. HE'S A GREAT GUY.

32. YEAH, HE GOT US THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER BACK.

33. AND NEW VOLLEYBALLS.

34. AND THE PLANETARIUM.

35. WHEN THE LAB BLEW UP

36. HE PULLED SKUNKY BEAUMONT OUT OF THE FLAMES.

37. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MAN.

38. WHY DON'T WE ALL GO SEE HIM?

39. YEAH, LET'S GO SEE HIM.

40. N-O SPELLS NO.

41. YOU CAN'T SEE THE PRINCIPAL.

42. COULDN'T WE SEE HIM FOR A FEW MINUTES?

43. THE PRINCIPAL IS TOO BUSY

44. RUNNING THIS SCHOOL

45. TO WASTE TIME TALKING TO STUDENTS.

46. BUT IT'S FOR DOUG.

47. MAN, THAT'S TOO BAD.

48. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

49. I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM.

50. NEITHER HAVE I.

51. ME NEITHER.

52. HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM?

53. NO.

54. HOW MYSTERIOUS. HOW MYSTERIOUS.

55. WOW! NOBODY'S EVER SEEN HIM.

56. I WONDER WHAT HE'S LIKE.

57. WHY DO YOU DISTURB ME?

58. W-W-WE WANTED TO CHEER DOUG UP, AND WE THOUGHT...

59. WHO IS DOUG?

60. I AM, SIR.

61. HOW CAN YOU BE UNHAPPY?

62. YOU'RE JUST ABOUT TO GRADUATE.

63. YES, I KNOW, SIR.

64. I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHY

65. BUT I CAN'T GET EXCITED LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

66. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT?

67. YOU JUST NEED THE SAME THING ALL OTHER KIDS HAVE.

68. HERE, TAKE THIS.

69. WHAT'S THAT?

70. OPEN IT.

71. SEE IF IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

72. COME ON!

73. OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT...

74. I'VE GOT TO FIND HIM.

75. TWO DAYS!

76. TWO DAYS!

77. OH, REMEMBER THE BUMPKIN HOEDOWN?

78. MAN, THAT WAS SO...

79. LAME?

80. YEAH, LAME.

81. HEY, DOUG, WILL YOU SIGN MY YEARBOOK?

82. WHAT?

83. OH, YEAH, SURE.

84. LISTEN, I'VE FIGURED IT ALL OUT.

85. WE CAN DO IT, BUT I'LL NEED YOUR HELP.

86. HERE'S THE PLAN.

87. THE PLAN TO DO WHAT?

88. TO SEE PRINCIPAL BUTTSAVITCH.

89. OH, YEAH, I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT.

90. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?

91. OW, DOUG.

92. SORRY, I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH WINDOW.

93. A LITTLE HIGHER.

94. GOT IT.

95. SOMEBODY'S PEEKING IN THE GIRLS' BATHROOM!

96. SINCE YOU GRADUATE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW

97. I'LL OVERLOOK THESE LITTLE MONKEYSHINES.

98. DON'T THANK ME.

99. JUST SCRAM!

100. IF WE HIDE IN THE LOUNGE...

101. LET'S FORGET IT.

102. WE GRADUATE IN TWO DAYS.

103. YEAH, TWO DAYS!

104. TWO DAYS.

105. BUT...

106. EVERYBODY WAS DROPPING OUT.

107. NOBODY WANTED TO FIND THE PRINCIPAL BUT ME.

108. DOUG!

109. WHY DON'T WE JUST FORGET ABOUT IT?

110. WE'RE GRADUATING IN TWO DAYS!

111. BUT IT'S JUST A FEW MORE FEET.

112. THERE WAS ONE DAY LEFT.

113. I WOULD HAVE TO DO IT ALONE.

114. WE'RE REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU SO WE MADE YOU THIS CARD.

115. OH, LOOK, YOU ALL SIGNED IT.

116. ROGER, "SAYONARA, SUCKERS" IS TWO WORDS.

117. WHERE IS DOUG'S NAME?

118. WE COULDN'T FIND HIM.

119. COULDN'T FIND HIM?

120. THAT'S FUNNY.

121. WHERE DO YOU THINK HE IS?

122. PACKAGE.

123. TO WHOM IS IT ADDRESSED?

124. GEE, LOOKS LIKE IT'S...

125. CAN YOU READ THAT?

126. BU... BUTSY... BUM... BUR... BUN... BIN...

127. IT MUST BE THOSE NEW VOLLEYBALLS.

128. MAYBE IF I SNEAK INTO HIS CAR.

129. THERE YOU ARE.

130. YOU DIDN'T COME TO THE CLASS PARTY.

131. I WAS WORRIED I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.

132. WOULDN'T SEE ME AGAIN?

133. TODAY'S THE LAST DAY.

134. I WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'LL MISS YOU.

135. IT WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU, DOUG.

136. GOOD-BYES ALWAYS MAKE ME A BIT TEARY.

137. SEEING ALL MY STUDENTS GROWING UP, GOING OFF FOREVER...

138. WHAT AM I GETTING ALL WEEPY FOR?

139. I'M SURE YOU'RE VERY EXCITED ABOUT GRADUATING.

140. EXCITED, YEAH.

141. HEY, THIS HAS BEEN GREAT, HASN'T IT?

142. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING?

143. DON'T YOU REALIZE WE'RE BEING SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE?

144. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?

145. TWO DAYS!

146. I'VE GOT TO FIND THE CAPTAIN.

147. CAPTAIN BUTTSAVITCH!

148. CAPTAIN BUTTSAVITCH!

149. CAPTAIN BUTTSAVITCH?

150. WHERE ARE YOU?

151. Mrs. DOUGLAS, WAKE UP.

152. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS YOUR OWN GRADUATION.

153. AND WE ARE REMINDED OF THE ETERNAL CYCLE OF OLD AND NEW.

154. MY LITTLE BABY.

155. MY LITTLE HONEY PIE.

156. IN THAT SPIRIT

157. WE'VE PREPARED A LITTLE MUSICAL TRIBUTE FOR YOU ALL.

158. CHILDREN...

159. I CAN'T BELIEVE DOUG ISN'T HERE.

160. WHERE DO YOU THINK HE IS?

161. HE'S PROBABLY JUST FIXING HIS TIE.

162. IF I DIDN'T FIND THE PRINCIPAL NOW, IT'D BE TOO LATE.

163. WHEW!

164. GRR, LITTLE KIDS...

165. GRR, I'M GLAD IT'S GRADUATION.

166. GRR, I NEED A VACATION.

167. TODAY WE ARE TO GRADUATE.

168. BUT WHAT DOES GRADUATION REALLY MEAN?

169. THE DICTIONARY DEFINES...

170. AFTER ALL THE PAGEANTRY AND REVELS

171. WE COME AT LAST TO THE GRAND FINALE.

172. WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME, COME UP AND GET YOUR DIPLOMA.

173. IT'S GOT TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE.

174. MR. BUTTSAVITCH?

175. MR. BUTTSAVITCH?

176. MR. BUTT— ?

177. ROGER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

178. WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, LAME BRAIN?

179. ROGER, YOU'RE NOT HIDING OUT FROM GRADUATION, ARE YOU?

180. LISTEN, I'VE BEEN IN THE SIXTH GRADE

181. FOR THREE YEARS.

182. I PRACTICALLY RUN THIS PLACE.

183. THERE AIN'T A KID IN THIS SCHOOL AIN'T AFRAID OF ME.

184. NOW WE GO TO JUNIOR HIGH, AND WHO AM I, HUH?

185. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING, ROGER.

186. WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE SAME PLACE.

187. THE TEACHERS AND THE BUILDING

188. WILL BE DIFFERENT

189. AND THAT COULD MAKE YOU UNHAPPY...

190. YEAH, THAT COULD MAKE YOU SCARED TO GRADUATE.

191. BUT PATTI WILL BE THERE AND EVERYBODY ELSE.

192. I'VE GOT NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.

193. JUNIOR HIGH WILL BE GREAT.

194. GOOD POINT.

195. WE'LL ALL BE TOGETHER.

196. YEAH, TOGETHER.

197. COME ON, WE'D BETTER HURRY.

198. IF WORSE COMES TO WORSE

199. I CAN ALWAYS PICK ON YOU.

200. JOANNE BUSEFALIS...

201. WHERE'S DOUG?

202. HE'S GOING TO MISS HIS TURN.

203. ROGER'S MISSING, TOO.

204. WHERE COULD THEY BE?

205. YOU MISSED THE PRINCIPAL.

206. HE WAS HERE?

207. HE GAVE A GREAT SPEECH.

208. WE TRIED TO FIND YOU.

209. WE KNEW HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO SEE HIM.

210. OH, WELL, NO BIG DEAL.

211. DOUG? DOUG?

212. WHAT? HUH?

213. DOUGLAS YANCEY FUNNIE.

214. EXCUSE ME, I GOT TO GO GRADUATE.

215. WAY TO GO, DOUG.

216. GO GET 'EM, DOUG.

217. SEE YOU IN JUNIOR HIGH.

218. WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO SOMEPLACE NEW

219. IT CAN BE KIND OF SCARY.

220. YOU WANT SOMEBODY MATURE

221. TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

222. BUT I FOUND OUT TODAY THAT MORE MATURE PERSON WAS...

223. ME.

224. HEY, DOUG!

225. WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE HONKER BURGER TO CELEBRATE.

226. HONKER BURGER!

227. I TOLD YOU SO, JUDY.

228. LISTEN, TWERP, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

229. Mrs. JUDITH, DOUGLAS...

230. BOTH OF YOU STOP IT THIS INSTANT.

231. YOUR FATHER IS TRYING

232. TO FIND THE RIGHT TURN-OFF

233. AND THIS ISN'T HELPING.

234. I KNOW THE RIGHT TURN-OFF, DEAR.

235. I AM NOTLOST.

236. IF WE HAD STOPPED TO ASK AT THAT TRUCK STOP

237. WE'D KNOW IF THIS WAS THE RIGHT ROAD.

238. I TOLD YOU, I KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING.

239. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

240. MYFAULT?

241. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

242. OH, SHUT UP.

243. WHAT HAVE I TOLD...?

244. THAT'S ME.

245. HEY!

246. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THIS WHOLE THING STARTED

247. WITH ONE FAMILY MEETING.

248. OKAY, FAMILY

249. I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO TO GRANDMA'S THIS SUMMER

250. BUT I'M AFRAID WE WON'T BE GOING

251. BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO THE GREAT PAINTED GORGE!

252. WOW, DAD, A REAL VACATION.

253. THAT'S RIGHT.

254. JUST US AND THAT BIG, BEAUTIFUL GORGE.

255. IT'S GOING TO BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER THAN WE'VE EVER BEEN.

256. SINCE I WAS A BOY, I'VE WANTED TO GO BACK.

257. HOW SUBLIMELY CUBIST.

258. WE'RE REALLY GOING?

259. WE'RE LEAVING IN THE MORNING

260. SO START PACKING.

261. WE'LL SPEND A FEW DAYS ON THE ROAD

262. AND ARRIVE JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE SUN RISE

263. OVER PAINTED GORGE FALLS.

264. THEN IT'S ON TO THE RATTLING ROCKS

265. OLD RELIABLE GEYSER AT 12:00 NOON...

266. WHISTLING CACTUS PATCH AT 4:00, SUNSET BAT WATCH AT 6:00

267. AND THAT'S THE FIRST DAY.

268. THROW ME THAT LAST BAG, WILL YOU, SON?

269. AH-AH-AH, ONE MORE.

270. MAN, JUDY...

271. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN HERE— ROCKS?

272. SUMMER READING.

273. SOON WE WERE UNDERWAY.

274. Mr. WATCH OUT, PAINTED GORGE, HERE COME THE FUNNIES.

275. MAN, I NEVER THOUGHT A CAR TRIP COULD BE SO BORING.

276. COW.

277. DAD, HOW MUCH FURTHER?

278. WE'RE MAKING GOOD TIME.

279. ONLY 1,500 MORE MILES TILL WE'RE KNEE-DEEP IN NATURAL GRANDEUR.

280. 1,500 MILES!

281. OH, MAN, I WONDER IF ANYBODY'S EVER DIED OF BOREDOM.

282. VISIT "IT."

283. 125 MILES.

284. "IT" IS COMING UP.

285. WOW!

286. "IT."

287. THIS WAY!

288. MAN, THERE'S NO WAY AROUND THIS WALL.

289. HOW ARE WE GOING TO SEE "IT"?

290. HOLD ON, IS THAT WALL BREATHING?

291. OH, DOUG, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.

292. DAD, CAN WE SEE "IT"?

293. PLEASE, CAN WE?

294. OH, PLEASE.

295. IT'S JUST SOME STUPID TOURIST TRAP.

296. WE ARE RUNNING ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE, SON

297. AND 125 MILES AWAY... HM, CARRY THE THREE...

298. WE'D MISS THAT SUNRISE OVER THE FALLS.

299. PHIL, IT MIGHT BE EDUCATIONAL.

300. ALL RIGHT!

301. Man over P.A.: "It."

302. Is it a deadly vampire bat?

303. No.

304. It is actually a russet potato

305. grown by Mrs. R. Smith of Pinkalo County

306. but the resemblance is quite eerie.

307. THAT'S "IT"?

308. A POTATO?

309. WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

310. WE WON'T MAKE IT TO THE RATTLING ROCKS.

311. OKAY, IT'S 2:37.

312. IF WE HURRY, WE MIGHT STILL SEE OLD RELIABLE.

313. IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE ONE.

314. Mr. WE'VE LEARNED FROM THIS.

315. THESE MAN-MADE TOURIST TRAPS CAN'T COMPARE

316. TO THE MAJESTY OF NATURE.

317. IN OTHER WORDS, L-A-M-E, LAME.

318. MAN! CAN'T A GUY MAKE A MISTAKE?

319. AT LEAST I'LL NEVER FALL FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.

320. VISIT BUG RANCH, 75 MILES.

321. YEE-HA!

322. RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!

323. PLEASE, WE ARE NOT GOING

324. ON ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR INANE MYSTERY TOURS.

325. BUT WE KNOW WHAT THIS IS—

326. A BUG RANCH.

327. HOW COULD IT BE BAD?

328. THIS MIGHT COST US

329. THE WHISTLING CACTUS PATCH.

330. WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

331. DAD, THIS IS A RANCH WITH BUGS.

332. Mrs. IT'S ONLY A FEW HOURS OUT OF OUR WAY, HONEY.

333. Man over P.A.: The next live stunt bug show will start in 15 minutes.

334. Step right up for the live bug show.

335. I GUESS THEY KNOW THEIR AUDIENCE—

336. THE DIM-WITTED CROWD.

337. I DIDN'T BUILD THIS STUPID THING.

338. BUT YOU DRAGGED US HERE.

339. ALTHOUGH THE WATER BUG SHERIFF

340. LOOKS LIKE HE HAS EYES FOR THE MEALWORM SCHOOLMARM.

341. THERE GOES THE SUNSET BAT WATCH

342. AND THE MOONLIGHT HIKE THROUGH COPPERHEAD PASS.

343. BUT WE GOT TO SEE THE GUNFIGHT AT THE ROACH CORRAL.

344. KNOCK IT OFF, JUDY.

345. NO, REALLY, DOUG

346. THE KATYDID SALOON BRAWL WAS VERY EXCITING.

347. LISTEN, JUDY, OKAY, IT WAS LAME.

348. I ADMIT IT, SO JUST LAY OFF.

349. JUDITH! DOUGLAS! REMEMBER THIS IS A FAMILYCAR TRIP.

350. TELL ME, DOUGIE—

351. WHAT'S OUR NEXT STOP ON OUR TOUR OF SIMPLETONVILLE?

352. VISIT THE POETIC BLYTHE FIELD.

353. STOP!

354. WHAT IS IT?

355. DID YOU SAY BLYTHE FIELD?

356. THEBLYTHE FIELD?

357. YEAH, WHAT'S BLYTHE FIELD?

358. ONLY THEMOST FAMOUS FIELD IN ALL OF LITERATURE.

359. BLYTHE COMPOSED HIS MOST FAMOUS POEMS THERE.

360. "ODE TO A FLOOD," "A SUMMER SONNET"

361. "LADYBUG, LADYBUG, FLY AWAY HOME"

362. OH, JUST TONS.

363. IT'S 300 MILES OUT OF OUR WAY, DEAR.

364. BUT WE SAW THOSE LAME, STUPID THINGS DOUG WANTED TO SEE.

365. I... I KNOW, HONEY, BUT...

366. SHE HAS A POINT, PHIL.

367. BUT, HONEY, IT'S 300 MILES OUT OF THE WAY.

368. ARE WE THERE YET?

369. NOPE.

370. GOOD-BYE PETRIFIED BUFFALO HERD.

371. ARE WE THERE YET?

372. Mr. ADIOS, CANYON MULE RIDE.

373. THAT'S IT!

374. ISN'T IT INSPIRING?

375. THIS IS GLORIA'S ROCK.

376. THIS IS THE EXACT PLACE

377. WHERE HE COMPOSED "OH, GLORIA, WITH HAIR LIKE GRANITE."

378. JUDY, IT'S JUST A BIG, OLD DESERT.

379. JUDY!

380. AND THIS IS WHERE HE WROTE, "HELLO, SKY."

381. WE'VE GOT TO GO, DEAR.

382. AS IT IS, WE LOST ALL HOPE

383. OF EVEN SPENDING A WHOLE DAY THERE.

384. FATHER, THERE'S SO MUCH MORE.

385. "TUMBLEWEED SONATA,"HI-HO, COYOTE,"HORNY TOAD LAMENT."

386. IT DOES LOOK LIKE RAIN, DEAR.

387. YOU THOUGHT BUG RANCH WAS BAD?

388. BUG RANCH HAD T-SHIRTS.

389. THIS PLACE IS LAME-O CENTRAL.

390. DOUGIE, IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A YOKEL

391. YOU COULD GET SOMETHING FROM THIS.

392. Mr. LET'S GO, I'M GETTING SOAKED.

393. OH, RAIN... SO INFREQUENT, SO FICKLE.

394. LET'S GO, JUDY.

395. WE'RE DRIVING STRAIGHT TO THE GORGE— NO STOPS.

396. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

397. ME HAPPY?

398. YOU'RE THE ONE LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

399. PLEASE, EVERYONE, CAN WE JUST BE QUIET?

400. PHIL, MAYBE WE SHOULD PULL OVER.

401. WE HAVE TO MAKE TIME.

402. WE'RE GOING TO SEE THAT GORGE!

403. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

404. MY FAULT?

405. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

406. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU...

407. EVERYBODY OKAY?

408. I'M OKAY.

409. I'M ALL RIGHT.

410. WHEW!

411. WELL, FAMILY, THAT'S THE END OF OUR TRIP.

412. I SAW A GAS STATION ABOUT TEN MILES BACK.

413. IF I GET WALKING, MAYBE THEY CAN TOW US OUT BY THE AFTERNOON.

414. FUNNY THING IS I JUST SORT OF WANTED US ALL

415. TO JUST SEE IT TOGETHER.

416. I'M SORRY, DAD.

417. ME, TOO, DADDY.

418. WELL, I BETTER GET GOING.

419. DAD, WAIT!

420. DAD, DON'T LEAVE.

421. MAYBE WE DON'T NEED THAT TOW TRUCK.

422. ONE, TWO... HIT IT, PORKCHOP.

423. WHOA!

424. HERE.

425. COME ON, WE CAN DO IT, PUSH.

426. YAY!

427. WE DID IT!

428. WOW!

429. LOOK!

430. THE PAINTED GORGE.

431. DAD WAS RIGHT.

432. IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING WE'D EVER SEEN.

433. AND HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, TOO.

434. IT REALLY DID BRING OUR FAMILY

435. CLOSER THAN WE'D EVER BEEN BEFORE.

436. Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation