1. - Can you hear me, Mr. Morden?
- Yes.Copy !req
2. Cue the recap!
Paraguay vacay made me this way.Copy !req
3. A harbinger of chaos
brought to make this geezer pay.Copy !req
4. I strung along the Dumb Patrol,
flipped the bus into a hole,Copy !req
5. slammed it shut. Wait, what?
Stuffed it up a donkey's butt!Copy !req
6. - Any sign of the Chief?
- We know he's alive.Copy !req
7. A team was forged
with one belief,Copy !req
8. to stop at nothing and get their Chief.Copy !req
9. Nazi-beating, doomsday-cheating,
beard hair-eating, romance-hating,Copy !req
10. punk to skunk, robot chunk,
flashback dancing with a hunk,Copy !req
11. gator-baiting, half chub-dating,
sliming through a metal grating,Copy !req
12. death cult all around,
Jane survived the Underground,Copy !req
13. Ant Farm, Larry harmed,
delivering justice with a swarm.Copy !req
14. No!Copy !req
15. Father-doting,
hand-exploding,Copy !req
16. pain obscured through secret coding.Copy !req
17. Growing close with each endeavor,
finally they came together.Copy !req
18. But I grew bored with this game of chaseCopy !req
19. and trapped them inside the White Space.Copy !req
20. Backed their leader against the wall,
forcing him to spill it all.Copy !req
21. I was responsible for everything
that has happened to each of you.Copy !req
22. This is the best timeline ever!Copy !req
23. - Why?
- I needed you.Copy !req
24. I wanted...Copy !req
25. what you have.Copy !req
26. Immortality.Copy !req
27. What?Copy !req
28. I wanted to...Copy !req
29. I needed to...Copy !req
30. Motherfucker!Copy !req
31. I am so sorry.Copy !req
32. Liar.Copy !req
33. You lied to Jane.Copy !req
34. You lied to all of us.Copy !req
35. Please, let them go.Copy !req
36. What do you take me for, Niles?Copy !req
37. This was never about them.Copy !req
38. Making Silly Putty out of their fragile,
fractured brains,Copy !req
39. well, that...Copy !req
40. that was all just...Copy !req
41. extra-curricular.Copy !req
42. Consider them abandoned conquests.Copy !req
43. Their future is their own now.Copy !req
44. God, I wonder what
they'll do with it, hmm?Copy !req
45. What does a family do when
they realize they're no family at all?Copy !req
46. They're just rats in neighboring cages.Copy !req
47. They're just petri dishes
on the same shelf.Copy !req
48. You know, I huffed and I puffed,Copy !req
49. but it was you all along,
wasn't it, Niles?Copy !req
50. You destroyed them!Copy !req
51. Just like you destroyed Eric Morden.Copy !req
52. So, you've had your revenge.Copy !req
53. What now?Copy !req
54. Why,
sky's the limit, old friend!Copy !req
55. I'm going to conduct a parade,
I'm gonna guest-host The View,Copy !req
56. I'm gonna become the next Bachelor!Copy !req
57. The world is a golden oyster for me now.Copy !req
58. But for you, Niles Caulder,Copy !req
59. I envision a story
that's a little different.Copy !req
60. I've been waiting decades
to ask you this.Copy !req
61. How does it feel to be a nobody?Copy !req
62. Security to Containment Block Seven.Copy !req
63. All security to Containment Block Seven.Copy !req
64. Good morning, Joshua.Copy !req
65. Bureau astronomers have confirmed
your calculations.Copy !req
66. Next week's X-15 test flight
is our clearest shot yetCopy !req
67. to intercept the space anomaly.Copy !req
68. Very good, then.Copy !req
69. Meaning, after we
knock this pilot from the sky,Copy !req
70. his name is Larry Trainor by the way,
Captain Larry Trainor, wife, two kids,Copy !req
71. after we expose him
to unknown space matter,Copy !req
72. after we potentially burn
and radiate himCopy !req
73. beyond the known limits
of human capacity,Copy !req
74. then we're gonna hand him over
to Forsythe and his animals? For what?Copy !req
75. And Forsythe will grow bored
with his new toy,Copy !req
76. and then he'll be ours,
hopefully forever.Copy !req
77. The Immortus Project is working.Copy !req
78. Rita Farr has shown
zero signs of aging since 1955.Copy !req
79. We already have
a perfectly good test subject.Copy !req
80. Now we'll have two.Copy !req
81. Where's the line, Niles?Copy !req
82. 'Cause I can't see it anymore.Copy !req
83. The only thing
that should trouble you, Joshua,Copy !req
84. is the alternative.Copy !req
85. Except I don't know
what the alternative is.Copy !req
86. The only way I sleep at night
is because...Copy !req
87. you tell me nothing.Copy !req
88. You're right. And you're welcome.Copy !req
89. - Good morning, Larry.
- Apparently, it is.Copy !req
90. I've been looking forward to this day
all semester.Copy !req
91. My students are finally
performing their scene studies,Copy !req
92. and I can't wait to see how they utilize
the techniques that I've taught them.Copy !req
93. I suspect I'll be handing out
a lot of A's.Copy !req
94. Uh-huh.Copy !req
95. It feels so good
to give back to the community.Copy !req
96. We should've done this ages ago.Copy !req
97. - What?
- Move on.Copy !req
98. Six months ago, we learned our
lives had been destroyed by a madman.Copy !req
99. Excuse me if it takes more than
a moment to get back my sea legs.Copy !req
100. When we moved into this place,
we made a promise to each other.Copy !req
101. - I know, but...
- No more hiding.Copy !req
102. I know.Copy !req
103. I'm trying.Copy !req
104. Hmm.Copy !req
105. Okay.Copy !req
106. What do you think?Copy !req
107. You wanna try for 20 seconds this time?Copy !req
108. Negative Spirit, release!Copy !req
109. There you go, buddy.
We can do this.Copy !req
110. We can do this. We can...Copy !req
111. Hit the bricks, sister.
We're done. Finito.Copy !req
112. You don't mean that, Kyle.Copy !req
113. I know you better
than you know yourself.Copy !req
114. You wanna pick me up
in those strong arms...Copy !req
115. Cut. Cut.Copy !req
116. Jagger, Esme,Copy !req
117. you failed to move your audience.Copy !req
118. We didn't feel it
because you didn't feel it.Copy !req
119. Mmm? Let me show what it looks likeCopy !req
120. when you really connect
to your character.Copy !req
121. And action!Copy !req
122. Hit the bricks, sister.Copy !req
123. We're done. Finito.Copy !req
124. You don't mean that, Kyle. Hmm?Copy !req
125. I know you better
than you know yourself.Copy !req
126. You wanna pick me up
in these strong armsCopy !req
127. and devour me whole.Copy !req
128. And scene.Copy !req
129. And that, children,Copy !req
130. is what serious dedication
to your craft gets you.Copy !req
131. Being a shitty
high school drama teacher?Copy !req
132. Wow. Dare to dream.Copy !req
133. It's scary not to excel at something
we aspire to do, isn't it, Esme?Copy !req
134. I'm not excelling?Copy !req
135. I can't think of anything sadder
than some washed-up never-wasCopy !req
136. who gets their jollies
off out-acting a bunch of teenagersCopy !req
137. who only took this class for the easy A.Copy !req
138. Larry!Copy !req
139. Hurry up! You're missing the booty song.Copy !req
140. Do either of you two
want to buy Marvin Gardens?Copy !req
141. - Honestly, I could use the cash.
- Hmm.Copy !req
142. Larry! This is absolutely unacceptable!Copy !req
143. 1976 is ending, and you're stalling
like some truculent schoolboy.Copy !req
144. Mmm.Copy !req
145. Now, I believe it's your turn.Copy !req
146. I look ridiculous.Copy !req
147. No.Copy !req
148. Now, then, Rita, that's not fair.Copy !req
149. Oh, yeah, sure. Laugh it up.Copy !req
150. All right. Keep playing.Copy !req
151. And don't cheat.Copy !req
152. - He's talking to you.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
153. Forsythe.Copy !req
154. What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
155. Wonderful home, Dr. Caulder.
And a happy New Year's Eve.Copy !req
156. You need to leave.Copy !req
157. Oh.Copy !req
158. I'm afraid the matter at hand
is rather urgent.Copy !req
159. What is it?Copy !req
160. You know, when the brass told me in '68Copy !req
161. I'd be losing Captain Trainor
to your Immortus Initiative,Copy !req
162. I have to say, I couldn't have imagined
his new assignment would be quite so...Copy !req
163. cozy.Copy !req
164. Well, you have your methods,
I have mine.Copy !req
165. The work we do here
is just as essential.Copy !req
166. Yes.Copy !req
167. I can see that now.Copy !req
168. What is that song?
My daughter likes that one.Copy !req
169. Cut the bullshit, Agent.Copy !req
170. What's that?Copy !req
171. Well, I believe you once called itCopy !req
172. the "unrelenting, uncompromising
pursuit of truth."Copy !req
173. Your signature is required, Doctor.Copy !req
174. Our investigators have identified
your next test subject.Copy !req
175. What are you talking about? I never...Copy !req
176. That request was made over a decade ago.Copy !req
177. And now we've found her.Copy !req
178. Hispanic female,
multiple personality disorder.Copy !req
179. By all accounts, a real wildcat!Copy !req
180. I think you'll agree,Copy !req
181. she fits perfectly the profile
you asked us to find.Copy !req
182. Jane.Copy !req
183. - Did you know?
- About what?Copy !req
184. About what that sadistic fuck did to us,
you fucking...Copy !req
185. No, no, no.Copy !req
186. He promised!Copy !req
187. Jane.Copy !req
188. Jane.Copy !req
189. Hey, it's okay.Copy !req
190. He was going to cage us here.Copy !req
191. Cage us like the rest of them.
Wasn't he?Copy !req
192. Singing, caged birdies
with pretty feathersCopy !req
193. for the master to pluck!Copy !req
194. It's okay.Copy !req
195. It's okay.Copy !req
196. Just tell me, please.Copy !req
197. I knew.Copy !req
198. I can give you the spiel...Copy !req
199. but the truth is I was blind.Copy !req
200. Willfully blind.Copy !req
201. You need to make it go away.Copy !req
202. - I know it's difficult...
- You don't know.Copy !req
203. I keep having this dream.Copy !req
204. I find a wound on my chest.Copy !req
205. This old wound that's scabbed over.Copy !req
206. And I know I shouldn't touch it...Copy !req
207. but I keep reaching for it...Copy !req
208. and I can't help but scratch.Copy !req
209. And the wound gets bigger and bigger...Copy !req
210. until there's nothing of me left.Copy !req
211. There's a drug.Copy !req
212. An opiate.Copy !req
213. For meta-human powers.Copy !req
214. Niles created it.Copy !req
215. Gave it to me for safe keeping...Copy !req
216. so he wouldn't be tempted.Copy !req
217. It's not a fix or a cure.Copy !req
218. It calms the noise,
it makes it more manageable,Copy !req
219. but it doesn't discriminate.Copy !req
220. Jane, it quiets everything.Copy !req
221. The good and the bad.Copy !req
222. In order to use it safely...Copy !req
223. we'd have to stick to a strict regimen.Copy !req
224. I have to monitor your dosage, vitals...Copy !req
225. I'm sorry, Kay.Copy !req
226. It's okay.Copy !req
227. It feels better now.Copy !req
228. - Niles?
- Huh?Copy !req
229. Elinore? Elinore.Copy !req
230. Thank you for coming.Copy !req
231. This...Copy !req
232. He's my last research subject.Copy !req
233. He was a race car driver.Copy !req
234. Father.Copy !req
235. Husband.Copy !req
236. I'm afraid all that...Copy !req
237. This is hitting me the hardest of all.Copy !req
238. The crash was supposed to be
on the racetrack.Copy !req
239. No one else was to get hurt.Copy !req
240. No one what?Copy !req
241. What does that mean,
he was "supposed to"?Copy !req
242. How would you know...Copy !req
243. that a man is supposed to crash?Copy !req
244. It's all gone too far.Copy !req
245. It's all gone too far, Elinore.
I used to think I had no alternative.Copy !req
246. That there wasn't an alternative,
but it's...Copy !req
247. gone too far.Copy !req
248. Niles...Copy !req
249. I love you...Copy !req
250. as a mentor and a friend.Copy !req
251. And you are scaring the
ever-loving fuck out of me right now.Copy !req
252. I need to tell you something.Copy !req
253. And I need you to promise...Copy !req
254. when it's finished...Copy !req
255. that you'll still be my friend.Copy !req
256. Cliff! Your order's up.Copy !req
257. Yo!Copy !req
258. You know how much
I cared for Elinore.Copy !req
259. She would have wanted it this way.Copy !req
260. For Victor to survive.Copy !req
261. There's some comfort in that.Copy !req
262. Cold comfort.Copy !req
263. But thank you.Copy !req
264. If I may...Copy !req
265. one piece of advice.Copy !req
266. If there's one thing
I've learned from my research,Copy !req
267. Victor is going to need special care.Copy !req
268. No offense...Copy !req
269. but we are not talking...Copy !req
270. about homeschooling
my son's recovery here.Copy !req
271. S.T.A.R. Labs has it covered.Copy !req
272. I'm not talking about technology
or facilities.Copy !req
273. There's a holistic component
to be considered.Copy !req
274. Patience. Empathy.Copy !req
275. And I'm not capable of giving it.Copy !req
276. Is that what you're saying?Copy !req
277. No, I'm just suggest...Copy !req
278. You might be surprised just how much
of a tonic compassion can be.Copy !req
279. And exactly who do you think
you're fooling here?Copy !req
280. You talk about compassion? Empathy?Copy !req
281. Like you invented it?Copy !req
282. I'm...Copy !req
283. I was her husband.Copy !req
284. And you don't think
she told me what you did?Copy !req
285. You think you have any standing
to lecture me about family?Copy !req
286. I just put my son back together.Copy !req
287. My son!Copy !req
288. And you think
that you and I are the same?Copy !req
289. You think what you did...Copy !req
290. and what I did are the same?Copy !req
291. This wasn't some experiment.Copy !req
292. I turned my...Copy !req
293. sweet, affable, athletic,Copy !req
294. charming, delicious boy...Copy !req
295. into a freak of nature.Copy !req
296. I did it out of love.Copy !req
297. Why the hell did you do it, Niles?Copy !req
298. To those people?Copy !req
299. You speak to me about compassion?Copy !req
300. Don't ever.Copy !req
301. Don't you dare.Copy !req
302. Who are you?Copy !req
303. Me?Copy !req
304. I'm you.Copy !req
305. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
306. You okay, son?Copy !req
307. Fine. Um...Copy !req
308. Just been up all night
working that bitcoin ring.Copy !req
309. Well, you know, if that cybercrime
is too dry for you,Copy !req
310. you can always
go back out into the field.Copy !req
311. My time's better spent taking down
international money launderersCopy !req
312. than two-bit purse snatchers.Copy !req
313. - Don't you think?
- Of course.Copy !req
314. Either way, I'm proud of you.Copy !req
315. I hope you know that.Copy !req
316. Sure.Copy !req
317. Look, I gotta get back to it.Copy !req
318. Is there any sweeter feeling
than revenge?Copy !req
319. That's an excellent question, Whoopi,Copy !req
320. and I don't think that there is.Copy !req
321. And the only thing that I'm more sure ofCopy !req
322. is that it will never, ever,
ever go away!Copy !req
323. "A convoluted, meandering plot
that ends in a whimper.Copy !req
324. An impotent villain
with a cliche approach to revenge."Copy !req
325. You know what, he's right.Copy !req
326. He's totally right!Copy !req
327. He's totally right.Copy !req
328. At long last,
I have found you!Copy !req
329. No!Copy !req
330. Be still, you fudger!
Be still, I say!Copy !req
331. Did you just call me a "fudger"?Copy !req
332. Silence, recreant!
For this is my time.Copy !req
333. I have waited centuriesCopy !req
334. for the rapture
foretold in the scripture.Copy !req
335. Twice, you have brought us to its brink,
and twice, you have failed.Copy !req
336. Explain yourself! I demand it!Copy !req
337. Well, I was going
for more of a personal taleCopy !req
338. of vengeance and betrayal.
You know, emotional stakes.Copy !req
339. Real, premium cable shit.Copy !req
340. So, you're not
an agent of the Lord?Copy !req
341. No, there is no God.Copy !req
342. If there was,
I wouldn't be so devoid of purpose.Copy !req
343. A crisis of faith!Copy !req
344. This is why Father has led me to you,Copy !req
345. to set you back
on the path to His glory!Copy !req
346. Path to glory?
Ooh, I like the sound of that.Copy !req
347. - To His glory.
- Yeah, that's what I said.Copy !req
348. To glory.Copy !req
349. But it's no use!Copy !req
350. I have already completed
my life's masterworkCopy !req
351. by turning everyone
Niles Caulder loves against him.Copy !req
352. There isn't a person alive
that he can call friend.Copy !req
353. No man, no woman...Copy !req
354. Woman.Copy !req
355. I want the truth.Copy !req
356. Where is she?Copy !req
357. It seems as though
I left some vengeance on the table.Copy !req
358. I really gotta amp things up this time,
really make a show of force!Copy !req
359. You need guys?Copy !req
360. I know a rat
who spent an entire afternoonCopy !req
361. exacting revenge
on the robot who killed his mother.Copy !req
362. Admiral Whiskers?Copy !req
363. I love that guy.Copy !req
364. This is a splendid start. Who else?Copy !req
365. Hmm, you know what?
Let's start small. A trinity.Copy !req
366. Hmm.Copy !req
367. I like it. I like it. A ménage-à-us.Copy !req
368. And we shall call ourselves
The Brotherhood of Dangerous Animals!Copy !req
369. Hosanna!Copy !req
370. Yes. It is tight, Admiral Whiskers.Copy !req
371. Yes! And vengeance will be mine!Copy !req
372. Again. For real, this time.Copy !req
373. And when we get Niles Caulder again,
the world will be ours!Copy !req
374. Then we shall destroy it!Copy !req
375. Maybe.Copy !req
376. If there's time.Copy !req
377. Morning, dear.Copy !req
378. We hit 20 seconds yesterday.Copy !req
379. At least, I think we did.Copy !req
380. I passed out at some point,
but it felt longer.Copy !req
381. Bully for you.Copy !req
382. Rough day at school?Copy !req
383. I was emotionally assassinated
by a 13-year-old girl.Copy !req
384. I'm not even sure
what we're doing here, Larry.Copy !req
385. We're doing exactly
what we were doing back at the manor,Copy !req
386. just getting by.Copy !req
387. That's not enough for me. Not anymore.Copy !req
388. There has to be more to life
than just this.Copy !req
389. We'll be singingCopy !req
390. When we're winningCopy !req
391. We'll be singing...Copy !req
392. - Neighbors?
- Moved last week.Copy !req
393. We'll be singingCopy !req
394. We'll be singing
When we're winningCopy !req
395. Do you think Old Man Arnold can hear it?Copy !req
396. Hear what?Copy !req
397. Nothing! Have a nice day now.Copy !req
398. Eat shit, ginger!Copy !req
399. You'll be singing...Copy !req
400. - Disembodied singing.
- Never a good sign.Copy !req
401. Although, we could follow it,
see where it leads.Copy !req
402. It's not like we have much to lose.Copy !req
403. No, just our lives.Copy !req
404. But, hey, we're living
on stolen time anyway,Copy !req
405. so why not take it for granted,
and dive headlongCopy !req
406. into shark-infested waters
that will undoubtedly lead us backCopy !req
407. to the man who permanently disfigured us
and lied to us about it for decades?Copy !req
408. We're the ones who don't get involved.
Remember?Copy !req
409. We'll be singing...Copy !req
410. No more hiding.Copy !req
411. We'll be singingCopy !req
412. Kay.Copy !req
413. Stay here.Copy !req
414. Sweet, sweet baby... Baby...Copy !req
415. Who's there?Copy !req
416. No, Kay. Don't forget.Copy !req
417. You can't forget.Copy !req
418. I'll get her, Jane.Copy !req
419. Don't worry.Copy !req
420. Kay...Copy !req
421. Come here, monkey.Copy !req
422. Sweet, sweet baby... Baby...Copy !req
423. I know you think
this is how it has to be,Copy !req
424. but this isn't healing, Jane.Copy !req
425. Forgetting and hiding isn't healing.Copy !req
426. You have to go up.Copy !req
427. I can't.Copy !req
428. We're safer here.Copy !req
429. We're happy, aren't we?Copy !req
430. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
431. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
432. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
433. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
434. What the fuck!Copy !req
435. - Uh, hi!
- What the fuck?Copy !req
436. You're the one who's been bringing me
cold food this whole time?Copy !req
437. For months?Copy !req
438. Um...Copy !req
439. Well, yeah, when I'm not busy.
I'm busy a lot, you know.Copy !req
440. There just happens to be a food truck
where I'm busy most, and I...Copy !req
441. I mean, it's not like
I could eat any of it.Copy !req
442. Thanks.Copy !req
443. Might be a little soggy.Copy !req
444. I tripped. Manhole just came out of...Copy !req
445. Do you hear that music, too?Copy !req
446. All morning.Copy !req
447. You, uh...Copy !req
448. You wanna go fuck up
whoever's playing it?Copy !req
449. Fuck, yeah!Copy !req
450. but I get up againCopy !req
451. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
452. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
453. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
454. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
455. Pissing the night awayCopy !req
456. Pissing the night awayCopy !req
457. He drinks a whiskey drink
He drinks a vodka drinkCopy !req
458. He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drinkCopy !req
459. He sings the songs that
Remind him of the good timesCopy !req
460. So, my timing
might be shit here,Copy !req
461. but I, for one, am grateful
that a disembodied ChumbawambaCopy !req
462. has brought us all back together.Copy !req
463. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
464. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
465. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
466. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
467. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
468. And you're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
469. I get knocked down...Copy !req
470. Can I just say there better be
a good fucking reason why we're here.Copy !req
471. And it better be
to turn off that fucking song.Copy !req
472. Because honestly,
I'd rather stick sharks in my vaginaCopy !req
473. than be in the same zip code as you.Copy !req
474. It's Mr. Nobody. He's kidnapped Danny.Copy !req
475. - So, rescue Danny.
- I can't.Copy !req
476. I need your help.Copy !req
477. A long time ago, I had a daughter.Copy !req
478. She's extraordinary
and everything to me...Copy !req
479. and I'm afraid...Copy !req
480. she is a danger to all of us.Copy !req
481. All I ever wanted
was to live one day longer than she did,Copy !req
482. to protect her,Copy !req
483. to protect others.Copy !req
484. That's why I created each one of you.Copy !req
485. I needed to study any means possible
of extending my own life.Copy !req
486. So, we were lab rats.
Just like Mr. Nobody said.Copy !req
487. Yes, at first. I can't deny that.Copy !req
488. Okay, I'm sorry,
but invoking your daughter now,Copy !req
489. it's fucking evil.Copy !req
490. It's the truth.Copy !req
491. I hid her for years on Danny,Copy !req
492. who graciously accepted
to be her caretaker.Copy !req
493. Somehow...Copy !req
494. Mr. Nobody...Copy !req
495. has found out about her,Copy !req
496. and he's trapped them both
inside this painting.Copy !req
497. Please.Copy !req
498. She's all I've got left.Copy !req
499. Tell you what.
I'll help you with your daughterCopy !req
500. as soon as you invent a time machineCopy !req
501. that gets me back the 30 years
I lost with mine.Copy !req
502. Till then, fuck you forever!Copy !req
503. And Danny? You're just gonna
turn your back on them?Copy !req
504. Even though they had no part in this?Copy !req
505. I'm sorry, what part
of "fuck you forever" was in Hebrew?Copy !req
506. I'll do it.Copy !req
507. For Danny. Even your daughter.Copy !req
508. Not for you.Copy !req
509. Wait! You're doing this?Copy !req
510. Niles Caulder, you're an awful,Copy !req
511. vermin-infested, garbage... person.Copy !req
512. But so help me,
I'm going into that painting, too.Copy !req
513. I was terrible as a human being,
and even worse as an acting teacher.Copy !req
514. The only time I don't feel
like a complete assholeCopy !req
515. is when I'm dealing with...Copy !req
516. Whatever you would call
this foolishness.Copy !req
517. Larry.Copy !req
518. Does my opinion even matter?Copy !req
519. Cliff.Copy !req
520. Great! Now I'm the fucking
asshole who's a fucking assholeCopy !req
521. if I don't walk
into the fucking painting.Copy !req
522. Of course I'm gonna fucking walk
into the fucking paintingCopy !req
523. because, let's be honest,Copy !req
524. who the fuck else
is enough of a fucking assholeCopy !req
525. to walk into a fucking painting?Copy !req
526. Let's go!Copy !req
527. Okay, so get into the painting somehow,Copy !req
528. and then rescue Danny
and your daughter somehow.Copy !req
529. Getting in is gonna be the easy part.Copy !req
530. It's the getting out
that's gonna be tricky.Copy !req
531. Why? What do we have to do?Copy !req
532. I don't know.
That's why it's gonna be tricky.Copy !req
533. Ah, okay.Copy !req
534. So, what do we do?
Just stare at this thing?Copy !req
535. Keep staring. Keep staring.Copy !req
536. I get knocked down
But I get up againCopy !req
537. You're never gonna
Keep me downCopy !req
538. Where is everyone?Copy !req
539. Danny, you okay?
What's going...Copy !req
540. Uh, can't see. All right.Copy !req
541. Danny, what about her? Is she safe?Copy !req
542. Uh, guys?Copy !req
543. What the hell is that?Copy !req
544. Now comes your reckoning!Copy !req
545. Oh, God!Copy !req
546. Behold! I am His right hand.Copy !req
547. His scythe! Use me, Father!Copy !req
548. I am your disciple, your fifth horseman!Copy !req
549. Take cover!Copy !req
550. Shit! Shit!Copy !req
551. Shit!Copy !req
552. Shit! Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit!Copy !req
553. Oh, Danny boyCopy !req
554. Danny boyCopy !req
555. I'm so sorry, Danny boy!Copy !req
556. Oh, my God. Danny was right. You came.Copy !req
557. I'm so happy to see you guys.Copy !req
558. Man, what the hell are you doing?Copy !req
559. I fucked up. I fucked up.Copy !req
560. I fucked up so hard.Copy !req
561. I was happy here, you know.Copy !req
562. This guy shows up, Mr. Nobody,
offering meCopy !req
563. bags of Lincoln, da Vinci, ZZ Top.Copy !req
564. Their beards tasted so good.Copy !req
565. And I told him.Copy !req
566. I told him everything.Copy !req
567. You sold her out.Copy !req
568. What did you do?Copy !req
569. What did I do?Copy !req
570. I mean, sure, I trapped Danny
in this goddamn paintingCopy !req
571. before realizing
that it would turn me into this...Copy !req
572. This husk!Copy !req
573. All I wanted to doCopy !req
574. was to meet
that Cro-Magnon squeeze of yours,Copy !req
575. and Io and behold, all that remainsCopy !req
576. is an adorable, almighty
chip off the old block.Copy !req
577. If you so much as harmed
a hair on her head...Copy !req
578. She enlarged
those two backstabbing vermin!Copy !req
579. Have you ever tried
talking sense to a pestCopy !req
580. while he enjoys his very own
re-enactment of a Kaiju movie?Copy !req
581. It is impossible!Copy !req
582. Shut up! Look, we need a plan.Copy !req
583. Look, we were the only people
in this whole entire worldCopy !req
584. who got Danny's SOS
and followed it here.Copy !req
585. We're standing inside the heart
of a sentient street,Copy !req
586. inside a magic painting
with a giant-ass cockroach,Copy !req
587. a guy who hunts beards...Copy !req
588. And an inter-dimensional fuck-up.Copy !req
589. If anybody's gonna save DannyCopy !req
590. and the Chief's daughter,
it's gonna be us.Copy !req
591. Fine. What's this plan?Copy !req
592. This way. Quickly!Copy !req
593. She's in the Doll Hospital,
down the stairs.Copy !req
594. That wasn't so bad.Copy !req
595. Maybe the giant roach
found a giant turd to chow down onCopy !req
596. and forgot all about us.Copy !req
597. It's the roach, isn't it?Copy !req
598. Oh, fuck my life!Copy !req
599. Jane, run!Copy !req
600. The fuck!Copy !req
601. Come and get it, asshole!Copy !req
602. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!Copy !req
603. No. Find my daughter.
The Doll Hospital. Go.Copy !req
604. I was supposed to be the villainCopy !req
605. of this shitty piece.Copy !req
606. I was bested by a little girl,Copy !req
607. and thrown out of
my own criminal organizationCopy !req
608. by a rat and a roach.Copy !req
609. Me.Copy !req
610. The big bad. The black hat.
You can't make this shit up!Copy !req
611. Yesterday, a 13-year-old girlCopy !req
612. told me to fuck my face
with a weed-whacker.Copy !req
613. Congratulations.Copy !req
614. We both suck.Copy !req
615. That's one way to tell the story.Copy !req
616. - It's the truth.
- It's the past.Copy !req
617. The future is still yours
for the making.Copy !req
618. Why? What's the point?Copy !req
619. I know what it's like to be a nobody.Copy !req
620. But as bad as that felt,
I'd rather be nobody than nothing.Copy !req
621. And that is exactly
what you're going to beCopy !req
622. if you don't quit
feeling sorry for yourself.Copy !req
623. You don't give a shit about me.Copy !req
624. You're only saying all of this
to save your own tuchus.Copy !req
625. That is 100% true.Copy !req
626. But think about it this way.Copy !req
627. If you give up now,
your story is a forgettable,Copy !req
628. disappointing defeat,Copy !req
629. but if you take up
your narration once again,Copy !req
630. you can turn your tale into...Copy !req
631. something beloved by all,Copy !req
632. told and retold time after time.Copy !req
633. A comeback.Copy !req
634. What do you want me to do?Copy !req
635. Give me joy in my heartCopy !req
636. Keep me praisingCopy !req
637. Give me joy in my heart, I prayCopy !req
638. There he stood,
anointed with purpose.Copy !req
639. Ezekiel!Copy !req
640. Born of the most Herculean
and timeless of creatures.Copy !req
641. Father, is that you?Copy !req
642. No.Copy !req
643. Ezekiel realized that it wasn't God,
it couldn't be,Copy !req
644. because he was God all along.Copy !req
645. Huh?Copy !req
646. For who else was
more powerful than the cockroach?Copy !req
647. Who else could survive mass extinctions,
plagues and nuclear explosions?Copy !req
648. No one! Only I, only Ezekiel.Copy !req
649. And if he wanted Armageddon,Copy !req
650. he would have to manifest
Revelations himself!Copy !req
651. Yes! I am ready!Copy !req
652. Now was the time
for the meek to inherit the Earth.Copy !req
653. It was time for the meek to devour it.Copy !req
654. Devour?Copy !req
655. Three o'clock. Behind the BMW.Copy !req
656. Why, a god would not be sated
on scraps of guano alone.Copy !req
657. Ezekiel had a new appetite.Copy !req
658. He desired to eat the world.Copy !req
659. Yes!Copy !req
660. Now having tasted
the great Cyborg,Copy !req
661. Ezekiel's craving for power grew.Copy !req
662. I am become God!
Destroyer of worlds!Copy !req
663. Of all the stupid ways
I expected to die,Copy !req
664. getting eaten by a Godzilla-rat
never made the list!Copy !req
665. I don't know. Maybe I deserve this.Copy !req
666. I was a shitty dad and a worse husband.
Let's see, what else?Copy !req
667. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
668. But those two other things,
they aren't that bad.Copy !req
669. I mean, lots of people
suck at relationships and parenting.Copy !req
670. Doesn't mean
they're sucky people, does it?Copy !req
671. Because if I had
another chance with Clara,Copy !req
672. I know I'd do so much better.Copy !req
673. So why shouldn't I get a second chance?Copy !req
674. Why do I deserve to be slowly digested
by a giant-fucking-rodent?Copy !req
675. Because I don't think I do.
I don't fucking deserve this!Copy !req
676. Maybe nobody does.Copy !req
677. I do not deserve this shit.Copy !req
678. I do not deserve this shit!Copy !req
679. Okay, you heard Vic's plan.Copy !req
680. You're gonna find us a way out of here.
I know you are.Copy !req
681. Negative Spirit, release!Copy !req
682. Hello?Copy !req
683. I'm Jane.Copy !req
684. Niles sent me to come get you.Copy !req
685. Good job. Looks like I'm up.Copy !req
686. Just as soon as
everyone's inside the giant cockroach.Copy !req
687. Rita!Copy !req
688. I know you better
than you know yourself, Ezekiel.Copy !req
689. You wanna pick me up
in those strong armsCopy !req
690. and devour me whole.Copy !req
691. Oh, God. This is gonna be
worse than the donkey, isn't it?Copy !req
692. I get it.Copy !req
693. I have a friend, Baby Doll.Copy !req
694. She's like us.Copy !req
695. She gets scared, too.Copy !req
696. And your dad used to sing her this song
that always made her feel better.Copy !req
697. I'm a valiant, little squirrelCopy !req
698. I am brave and powerfulCopy !req
699. No, I'm not afraid of anything at allCopy !req
700. I am strongCopy !req
701. I am daringCopy !req
702. It's not me that you'll be scaringCopy !req
703. No, I'm not afraid of anythingCopy !req
704. At allCopy !req
705. Not even a hawk?Copy !req
706. With its loud and mighty squawk?Copy !req
707. Come, dear.Copy !req
708. Shall we go see what the inside
of a cockroach looks like?Copy !req
709. Wait, wait, Cliff.
What about Cliff?Copy !req
710. Oh, shit. Cliff.Copy !req
711. I do not deserve this shit!Copy !req
712. Ugh! Gross!Copy !req
713. Um, okay.Copy !req
714. Okay, I'm just vamping here.Copy !req
715. Then...Copy !req
716. Then Ezekiel noticed Whiskers.Copy !req
717. I mean, he really noticed him.Copy !req
718. Why, he had been so busyCopy !req
719. becoming the architect
of the Apocalypse and allCopy !req
720. that he had failed to see
what was right before his eyes,Copy !req
721. but there he was.Copy !req
722. Ezekiel's right hand in the destruction
of this loathsome world.Copy !req
723. Another meek and forgotten creature.Copy !req
724. It was as if a soul
had been split in two,Copy !req
725. and they were finding their way
back together again.Copy !req
726. The yearning was palpable.
It was intoxicating.Copy !req
727. Really? Oh, Whiskers!Copy !req
728. It was in that moment
that Ezekiel lost all other appetite,Copy !req
729. he hungered for one thingCopy !req
730. and one thing only,Copy !req
731. and that was...Copy !req
732. Rat-a-tushie.Copy !req
733. Gotta make it
into the cockroach.Copy !req
734. Gotta make it into the cockroach.Copy !req
735. Oh, God! Oh, fuck me!Copy !req
736. Whoa!Copy !req
737. Now knowing that
his greatest fearCopy !req
738. was also his greatest power,Copy !req
739. Larry knew it was time to rip through
this impenetrable dimension.Copy !req
740. All of the pieces
were clicking into place.Copy !req
741. The story's riveting end
was finally upon us.Copy !req
742. So, the cockroach eats them
to protect them from the radiation.Copy !req
743. I get that. But what happens to us?Copy !req
744. Oh...Copy !req
745. Miscreants! Dissenters!
Did they think they could destroy me?Copy !req
746. Nay, the Apocalypse is my bedfellow.Copy !req
747. Nuclear radiation,
a mere gentle kiss upon my back.Copy !req
748. I cannot die for I am death!Copy !req
749. I am the beginning, the end, the...Copy !req
750. Everybody okay?Copy !req
751. Nothing that an hour-long shower
and a whiskey on the rocks won't fix.Copy !req
752. - Is that...
- Yes.Copy !req
753. It's all right, darling.Copy !req
754. Everyone...Copy !req
755. this is my daughter, Dorothy.Copy !req
756. Dorothy Spinner.Copy !req
757. Uh, guys...Copy !req
758. I'm gonna suggest maybe
we deal with the issue at hand here,Copy !req
759. and then meet the world's
most powerful little girl.Copy !req
760. What the fuck?
Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
761. Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
762. Are you fucking kidding me!Copy !req