Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 1x5

Directed by

Becky Sloan as Clipboard (voice) • Vivienne Soan as Lesley • Katia Kvinge as GPS (voice) • Jimmy Slim as Time Child (voice)

Where do things go when they're not where they should be? A leaky old Train teaches Red Guy, Yellow Guy and Duck about Transport. Red likes the idea of going on a journey, but it's not that simple...

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hmm. Oh, one dead fly.

2. One bowl.

3. One tea towel.

4. One fridge.

5. One fridge magnet.

6. What are you doing?

7. Making sure everything's here.

8. I'm doing my visual inventory.

9. Yeah, on a clipboard.

10. Oh, another dead fly.

11. Wow. How exciting.

12. It doesn't get much better than this.

13. Yeah, this is probably definitely the best day of my life.

14. Oh, God.

15. One tile. Guys.

16. One tile. Hold on.

17. Can you just... One tile.

18. Look, the floor should just be one thing.

19. Just put it down as one floor. I have my own system.

20. Don't get involved.

21. Hey, could I please have a touch of the clipboard?

22. No. And I say put the clipboard in the bin

23. because I hate the clipboard. Argh! Argh!

24. Oh. What did you say?

25. I said I hate the clipboard and I hate this place.

26. Argh! Argh! Please don't have said that.

27. You don't mean that.

28. He doesn't mean that.

29. But this is our... where we are.

30. Yeah, well, I'd like to go somewhere else. Huh?

31. What? Hello. Where do you want to go?

32. No, I want to go somewhere different.

33. I want to get out of this place. That's not allowed.

34. I mean, all we do is sit around and then some guy comes

35. and tells us about banks or vegetables or something.

36. What on earth are you talking about? I mean, don't you want to see something else, something different?

37. Huh? Um...

38. Choo-choo. Coming through.

39. Oh, right. This kind of thing.

40. Oh, yeah. One of these guys.

41. What? Is this a toy person?

42. Ow. Go around.

43. Just really. Did somebody say transport?

44. Erm, I don't think so.

45. He said he hates this place. And he hates the clipboard

46. and he hates me.

47. No, I was just saying. What's this now? I was just saying

48. maybe we could do with a change of scenery.

49. You have to speak up a bit.

50. Here, you have to speak into my good ear.

51. Well, which one's your good ear? I don't see any ears on you. Huh?

52. Which one is your good ear?

53. I don't know about that, I'm a train.

54. Ow, what's wrong with you? Now, how about we take a trip?

55. Yeah. Yeah. OK, great. Where are we going?

56. I just need to have a quick drink first.

57. Oh, what's that?

58. That's the stuff. Smells like poison.

59. It's my very special, very warm drink.

60. You're leaking quite a lot onto the floor.

61. No, no, I'm not. It doesn't matter.

62. Oh, can I have some? It helps in my condition.

63. Your condition? I just get a bit dizzy, is all.

64. So you'd like three tickets.

65. There you go. Oh. Eurgh.

66. Wait, does this mean we can actually go somewhere?

67. Tickets, please. Thank you.

68. Thank you. What's this stuff on it?

69. You did that. No, I didn't.

70. All aboard.

71. Wow. How did we get here?

72. Hey. Good question.

73. Look, wicker. Wow, wicker. Where does this go?

74. Oh. Is that supposed to... It doesn't matter.

75. Where are they going?

76. Speak into my good ear. Where are they going?

77. Urgh, mouth wet. What's that one?

78. Huh? That's nothing.

79. Just a rock. You don't want it? I can have it.

80. What are you going to do with a rock? That's my business.

81. Private business.

82. Are you sure you're OK?

83. Yeah, maybe we could have a sit down.

84. No, don't sit down.

85. Maybe if you stop morphing.

86. Yeah. Stop morphing.

87. Morphing. Morphing. You're morphing. Just keep going.

88. He's fine.

89. Kicking it... take... take it.

90. Well, he's dead.

91. What? No. No, he's not. He's fine.

92. Come on, Mr Transport. Come on. That's that one.

93. Didn't understand any of it, but still, it was a laugh.

94. Yeah. What an adventure.

95. Yeah, we really did have the laugh of our lives, but still nice

96. to be back at home.

97. Well, no. What are you talking about? We didn't even go anywhere.

98. Let's get out of this disgusting corpse, shall we?

99. I need to finish my visual inventory.

100. OK. Hold on, hold on.

101. I'd quite like to give it a go. Huh? Yeah.

102. We should do some transport of our own.

103. Why? Because it will be fun.

104. You know, maybe we'll see something else.

105. Another rock?

106. Yeah, maybe.

107. Or maybe something...

108. better. No, no.

109. Come on. No, no, no.

110. We don't have the transport man. It's just us three.

111. We can't just do stuff us three, can we?

112. Why not? I mean, how hard can it be?

113. Here we go. Look.

114. See. Lesson number 40, reverse parallel parking on an incline.

115. Firstly, you'll need to...

116. How about this one?

117. Lesson number 92, dominating the road.

118. Handbrake turns around tight corners at high speed

119. are a great way to impress new colleagues and intimidate...

120. Where's lesson one?

121. Oh, well. Yeah, you gave it your best shot.

122. What about this one? Lesson number one.

123. Yes. Here we go.

124. First things first. OK. And this is very important.

125. Yeah. Before you even set foot in a vehicle, you'll need to pick out

126. a name for your personalised licence plate.

127. Anything at all except DJ BINBAGS with the I as a 1,

128. the G as a 6 and the S as a Z cos that's what I'm thinking of getting.

129. I just want to make it go. Oh, it's useless.

130. I told you you shouldn't try and do something without a little thing

131. telling you how to do it.

132. Come on. Green is for go.

133. Hey, look, I can see.

134. What's happening?

135. The sky is rewinding.

136. Why is it so hard to look at?

137. Stop it. Be still.

138. No, no. It's supposed to do that. It means we're going somewhere.

139. I think I prefer the kind of transport where you're indoors.

140. And in our house and not moving.

141. Well, don't say that. Just wait till we get there.

142. Get where? Yeah. Where are we going?

143. I don't know, anywhere. There's plenty of places we can go.

144. Just look at all these roads in this confusing diag... Oh, hey there.

145. You look a little lost. Perhaps I can help.

146. Great. Let's get you home, shall we?

147. In 300 metres, make a U-turn.

148. We're actually looking to go somewhere new.

149. Somewhere new? Cool.

150. Where are you thinking? Just type in your destination.

151. I don't know. What about just... just down here?

152. Oh, I'm sorry. That place doesn't exist any more.

153. What? What happened to it? Just shrivelled up, I reckon.

154. Well, where can we go? Can't you suggest somewhere?

155. You can go home. No, somewhere else.

156. Somewhere... How about Shelford Parkway?

157. It has a fungus museum and a new prison.

158. Wow. No. What about Ching Helmsford?

159. Just 30 miles west and famous for its dead horse.

160. We've already seen a dead horse.

161. OK, back home it is.

162. In three seconds, make a sharp U-turn.

163. We're not going home. We're going somewhere else.

164. You're making a mistake. What about Ch... Ch... Ch...

165. You should just go home.

166. Dead horse.

167. Erm, are you meant to do that?

168. It's fine. We don't need her. We'll find our own way.

169. I'm not sure about this.

170. We don't usually find our own way anywhere.

171. Exactly. This is great.

172. We're going somewhere new for a change.

173. Just look around you. Isn't it exciting?

174. I mean, just look at me. Look how excited I'm getting.

175. All right.

176. Well, it's better than whatever we'd be doing at home, isn't it?

177. Yeah. I suppose.

178. They're not here.

179. Oh, what?

180. What? Get him out. Get him out!

181. Oh.

182. I'm bored. Why? How are you bored?

183. Yeah? We're just sitting here. It's like being back at home.

184. No. Louder and smaller. And quicker.

185. What about your visual inventory?

186. You've got your travel clipboard with you, haven't you?

187. Just look out the window. Why?

188. There's not much to look at.

189. It's just tree, cloud, tree, cloud, rock, oh, rock.

190. There you go. I don't like my window.

191. When I look out through it, it looks back in through me.

192. Maybe I should have a turn being in charge

193. of the transport machine.

194. No, no, no. You stay back there in your area.

195. Here, have some entertainment.

196. Ooh, a curtain.

197. No, look.

198. Oh?

199. Wow, there's a lot of them.

200. There's so many.

201. Hey, hey. Can you jab less hard?

202. No, you have to jab it hard or it won't respect your choices.

203. Ow, ow! Which one are you going to look at?

204. Too early to say. I'm still on the As.

205. Hey, why are you scrolling down? You need to scroll sideways.

206. You need to scroll sideways so you can explore the subthemes too.

207. Don't tell me how to scroll. I shall scroll how I wish.

208. Look, they've got Grolton and Hovris.

209. It's dead nice to finally be outside, Hovris.

210. But my goodness, it's so hot.

211. It's making me too hot.

212. It's lucky I packed some water.

213. Oh! No, Hovris, I think this is my water.

214. You should have bought your own water.

215. You're not having any of my water, Hovris.

216. Cheeky boy.

217. Now, we'd better get going if we're going to make my appointment.

218. I've got to get my checkup about my gum disease.

219. No, that is my bottled water, Hovris.

220. Oh, Grolton.

221. Hey. Hey.

222. I'm trying to watch. Grolton is the dog?

223. No, Grolton is the man, and Hovris is the dog.

224. Now stop talking. Watch your own screen.

225. Oh.

226. Huh?

227. Raisins.

228. Oh. Hey, don't worry.

229. When we get to our new place, we'll have our own headphones

230. and as many raisins as we want.

231. Will we? Yeah.

232. And we'll each have our own house with our own stuff that doesn't come...

233. Are we not going to live together? We won't need to.

234. We'll be part of something called a community.

235. Look.

236. It's going to be a whole new life for us.

237. No more sitting around just counting the floor.

238. We're going to live outside.

239. No, those people don't live outside.

240. They'll be our neighbours. Huh?

241. Yeah, as far as I know, neighbours are these other ones who also

242. have a house near your house.

243. Oh. And they bring you food when you run out.

244. And sometimes you go from your house to their house and tell them

245. what you like about them.

246. Oh, morning here in Mulhoven New Town.

247. Just ask anyone lucky enough to live here and they'll tell you there's no

248. better place to wake up.

249. From the bustling marketplace to the peaceful overpass,

250. there is something here for everyone.

251. Look, there's Mrs Greenwaldenfitsum opening shop.

252. Heheh, what a lot of hoovers.

253. There goes Officer Sinclair - on his way to the station, no doubt.

254. No crimes to report today, Officer?

255. Good.

256. Hello.

257. New in town, are you?

258. Well, let's get you settled.

259. Oh, here we are, a brand-new home of your own.

260. Ooh, fancy. Even thrown in a house pet.

261. And here comes one of your neighbours now.

262. I see you're already well acquainted.

263. And look, next door are your other neighbours.

264. And you'll get to know them all in good time, won't you?

265. Oh, how nice.

266. They'd like to welcome you with a gift.

267. What could it be?

268. Oh, it's a rat.

269. Or some kind of worthless animal.

270. Oh, careful.

271. What's happening?

272. Nothing. It's fine.

273. Just... just need some of its food, I think.

274. Something died on my window.

275. Well, don't touch it. But it was a gift.

276. What? Look, why don't you just have another nap?

277. OK, we'll be there soon.

278. Hey, what's going on?

279. Nothing. My screen.

280. Yeah, it's meant to do that. Now what? Sit tight.

281. I'll never know if Grolton made his appointment.

282. Obviously, he will. He always does.

283. What do you mean?

284. Grolton always makes his appointment and no matter what happens,

285. they start the next episode back at home.

286. Well, don't spoil it. I'm not spoiling it.

287. Hey, what's going on?

288. What? What the hell are you doing?

289. Look, it's that pathetic vehicle person from before.

290. Where are we? Hiya, yeah, we're just...

291. We're just doing some transport like you showed us, remember?

292. Actually, do you think you could make that noise stop?

293. And turn my screen back on. And get us to our neighbours.

294. I'm not supposed to be out this far.

295. I get dizzy if I'm out this far.

296. Where's my special drink?

297. Erm, I think someone might have drunk it all.

298. I need the... Let's just turn back.

299. No, look, we'll make you some more.

300. How hard can it be? What's in it?

301. It was forged far beneath the earth with the last remnants

302. of the ancient monster. What did you say?

303. Raisins. OK, raisins. Here, have some raisins.

304. Yum. Let's have the song again.

305. Raisins are... Have some of my raisins too.

306. Oh, great. See? There we go.

307. All better now. Come on, guys.

308. It's definitely not working.

309. I changed my mind, I want to go home.

310. No! I want to watch the end of Grolton and Hovris. No!

311. We're so close. To what?

312. We can't go back. I'm not going back to that house.

313. There has to be something. Anything.

314. Guys. What?

315. There's something... out there.

316. Is this where we live now?

317. Where are the neighbours in the community?

318. Yeah. They'll be here. Don't worry.

319. Somebody will... somebody will turn up.

320. One rock.

321. One stick.

322. One skull.

323. One bit of filth.

324. One unknown, terrifying object.

325. One bag of meat.

326. One fire.

327. Journeys made and lessons learnt, you may feel like

328. you are alone, but no matter how much the wheels turn...

329. Huh?

330. the journey always ends up back at home.