Doctor Who 7x12

1. Well, here we are! Hedgewick's World!

2. The biggest and best amusement park there will ever be

3. and we've got a golden ticket! Eh? Eh? Fun!

4. Fun?

5. Your stupid box can't even get us to the right place.

6. This is like a moon base or something.

7. Well, it's not the moon.

8. Actually, I think it does look like the moon, only dirtier.

9. Hey, guys. It's not the moon, okay?

10. It's the Spacey Zoomer ride, or it was.

11. Psst! Excuse I. I don't suppose you happen to be my lift off planet?

12. Dave's Discount Interstellar Removals?

13. 'Fraid not.

14. You know, they were meant to be here six months ago.

15. Well, that's Dave for you, you see, unreliable.

16. - Stay where you are! - Whoops!

17. Throw down your weapons and identify yourselves!

18. No! No weapons!

19. Golden ticket! Spacey Zoomer! Free ice cream!

20. Who are you?

21. This planet is closed by Imperial order.

22. How's this?

23. Oh. Welcome, Proconsul.

24. Wish they'd told us you were coming.

25. - Any news of the Emperor? - Oh, the Emperor.

26. No, no. None that you'd...

27. We pray for his return.

28. If there is anything you need, my platoon is at your service.

29. Right, righty-o! Well, carry on, Captain.

30. Platoon! Let's move out!

31. On the double! Two, three, four. Two, three, four. Two, three, four.

32. - Have they gone? - Yes.

33. Uniforms. Give me the heebie-jeebies. Come on.

34. They can't stop me being here but they don't like it.

35. Ha ha!

36. You see?

37. I told you it was amazing.

38. Well, it used to be.

39. It closed down. Wish I'd known that before I landed here.

40. But let me show you my collection.

41. Come along. Follow me. This way.

42. This way in. Come on!

43. Welcome to my ship, Webley's World of Wonders.

44. Miracles, marvels and more await you.

45. I am Impresario Webley.

46. You see before you waxwork representations.

47. Of the famous...

48. and the infamous.

49. Anybody here play chess?

50. Perhaps you, young man.

51. Actually, I'm in my school chess club.

52. Ah, follow me.

53. Now, let me demonstrate to you all the wonder of the age,

54. the miracle of modernity.

55. We defeated them all a thousand years ago

56. but now he's back to destroy you.

57. Behold, the enemy!

58. Cyberman! Get down!

59. No need to panic, my young friends.

60. We all know there are no more living Cybermen.

61. What you are seeing is a miracle.

62. The 699th wonder of the universe.

63. Um, as displayed before the Imperial Court

64. and only here to destroy you at chess!

65. Careful, now. An empty shell. And yet it moves.

66. How?

67. - Magic. - That might well be, young lady.

68. But a single penny wins you five Imperial shillings

69. if you can beat this empty shell at chess.

70. I haven't got a penny but I've got a sandwich!

71. All right. Take a seat.

72. It is free of all devices

73. and yet it has never been beaten.

74. Would you like to make the first move, young man?

75. Oh, no, Artie. No, don't do that.

76. That's a fool's mate.

77. If you can tell me how it works, I'll give you a silver penny.

78. I think you do it with mirrors?

79. Hmm, mirrors. Clever girl.

80. Well, let's see, hey? Low-tech.

81. It's a puppet. Mono-filament strings, which means brains.

82. - Hello. - Hello.

83. - I'm the brains. - Hello. Give us a hand.

84. They call me Porridge.

85. Oh, it's good to be out of that box.

86. For you, miss,

87. an Imperial penny.

88. I have not one but three Cybermen in my collection.

89. Is that the king?

90. Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, et cetera, et cetera, the 41st.

91. Defender of humanity, Imperator of known space.

92. He looks a bit full of himself.

93. Don't say things like that about the Imperial family.

94. You can end up on the run for the rest of your life.

95. They don't sound very nice.

96. Go on.

97. If the kids want to ride the Spacey Zoomer,

98. then I can operate the gravity console.

99. Angie!

100. Smile! Say "Spacey Zoomer".

101. Whoa!

102. - We're flying! - Having a good time?

103. I think that was the most fun I've had in my whole life.

104. It was... okay.

105. Clara, I think outer space is actually very interesting.

106. Right. Wonderful day out, Doctor, but time to get the kids home.

107. Yeah, um, no. Not actually ready to leave.

108. - Why not? - Oh, you know.

109. - Reasons. - What reasons?

110. Insects, funny insects.

111. I should add them to my funny insect collection.

112. - You collect funny insects? - Yeah, I'm starting to.

113. Right now.

114. How long do we have to stay here?

115. Not long. Have a nap.

116. I'll wake you when we're ready to leave.

117. Comfy?

118. - Sleep well. - Goodnight.

119. Don't wander off!

120. Now, I'm not just saying, "Don't wander off." I mean it.

121. Otherwise, you'll wander off. And the next thing you know,

122. somebody's going to have to start rescuing somebody.

123. - From what? - Nothing!

124. Nobody needs rescuing from anything.

125. Don't wander off.

126. Sweet dreams.

127. Mmm. Mmm.

128. Total takings for the day, one sandwich.

129. Better than no sandwich, of course. Not as good as two sandwiches.

130. Or even a chicken.

131. That's a bit odd. That's not funny.

132. Give me my hands back!

133. Upgrade in progress.

134. I hate the future. It's stupid.

135. There's not even phone service. I'm out of here.

136. The Doctor said not to wander off.

137. He said that and then he wandered off.

138. I don't think Clara would like that.

139. She's not our mum.

140. Don't leave me here.

141. Was this really the biggest amusement park in the universe?

142. Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet cheap. It had been trashed in the Cyberwars.

143. - Who were we fighting? - Cybermen.

144. Technologically upgraded warriors.

145. We couldn't win.

146. Sometimes we fought to a draw but then they'd upgrade themselves,

147. fix the weaknesses and destroy us.

148. It's hard to fight an enemy that uses your army as its spare parts.

149. You beat them, though. You beat them or you wouldn't be here. How?

150. Look up there.

151. That corner of sky, what do you see?

152. Nothing. It's just black.

153. No stars, no nothing.

154. Well, it used to be the Tiberian Spiral Galaxy.

155. A million star systems,

156. a hundred million worlds, a billion trillion people.

157. It's not there any more. No more Tiberian Galaxy.

158. No more Cybermen.

159. It was effective.

160. - It's horrible. - Yeah.

161. - I feel like a monster sometimes. - Why?

162. Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people,

163. I just feel sorry for the poor blighter

164. who had to press the button and blow it all up.

165. Clara, did you tell Angie she could go to the barracks?

166. You know I didn't.

167. - She hasn't. - She's just gone in there.

168. Come on.

169. I can't fix this.

170. It can't be broken. It's a solid state sub-ether ansible-class communicator.

171. Just run the diagnostics.

172. There's nothing left to diagnose.

173. It's not broken, it's empty.

174. All the components have gone.

175. Well, you must have replacement parts.

176. Not enough to build a new one!

177. Captain, the weather controller is malfunctioning again.

178. There's storms, heatwaves, snow.

179. Hello? I'm bored.

180. Where's your big sister?

181. Clara? She's not my sister.

182. She's stupid. She's talking to Porridge.

183. She talks to her porridge?

184. Porridge, that little bloke.

185. We need to have a chat.

186. I'm not scared, if you're wondering.

187. I just think I ought to turn the lights back on.

188. So, tell me about the little bloke.

189. Well, you must have seen him.

190. Angie!

191. She always has to turn up and spoil everything.

192. I wasn't doing anything!

193. Why can't you just leave me alone?

194. - Cyberman! - Angie!

195. Attack formation!

196. No!

197. Attack formation, quickly!

198. Upgrade in progress.

199. Angie!

200. - Angie! - Clara, Clara!

201. That was a Cyberman. But they're extinct!

202. Listen to me, I will get her back.

203. Captain, a word, please.

204. Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

205. but I take it your platoon doesn't do much fighting.

206. - What do you expect? - What?

207. We're a punishment platoon.

208. That's why they sent us out here, so we can't get into trouble.

209. Right, right, well, okay.

210. As Imperial consul, I'm putting Clara in charge.

211. Clara, stay alive until I get back.

212. And don't let anyone blow up this planet.

213. Is that something they're likely to do?

214. Get to somewhere defensible.

215. - Where are you going? - I'm getting Angie,

216. finding Artie and looking for funny insects.

217. Stay alive.

218. And you lot, no blowing up this planet!

219. Put me down! I hate you!

220. Artie? Artie, what's happening?

221. Please stand by.

222. You will be upgraded.

223. Cyberiad-class weaponry. I've taken it out of storage.

224. Good. We need to find somewhere defensible, where?

225. The Beach.

226. Giant's Cauldron.

227. Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.

228. - Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat? - Yes, but comical.

229. We'll go there.

230. Ma'am, my platoon can deal with one Cyberman

231. and there are protocols if we cannot immediately find and destroy it.

232. - Blowing up the planet protocols? - Respectfully, ma'am...

233. Somewhere defensible. No blowing up the planet.

234. She's your commanding officer now, isn't she, Captain?

235. Yes.

236. Sir.

237. - You really saw a Cyberman? - We really did.

238. Have you reported it to the Imperium?

239. - No communicators. - So you're going to do what she says?

240. Right, let's all spend the night at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.

241. Artie!

242. Firstly,

243. if anybody's watching this, those children are under my protection,

244. I'm coming to get them.

245. And secondly, little metal machine,

246. you are beautiful.

247. Not even a Cybermat any more, eh?

248. Cybermites.

249. Now, there's a local transmat link open to your home,

250. if I can just find the frequency.

251. Hey, that really shouldn't have worked.

252. Doctor, help her.

253. Angie! Artie!

254. Webley?

255. We needed children but the children had stopped coming.

256. You brought us children.

257. Hail to you, the Doctor. Saviour of the Cybermen!

258. What would the Empire do if they were alerted?

259. I told you, they'd tell me to blow up the planet.

260. After they got us off.

261. - Captain, you want to take that one? - No, ma'am, just blow the sucker up.

262. Drawbridge, moat, brilliant.

263. With respect, ma'am,

264. we ought to be hunting the creature.

265. The only reason I'm still alive is because I do what the Doctor says.

266. Can you guarantee me you'd bring me back my children alive and unharmed?

267. - I trust the Doctor. - You think he knows what he's doing?

268. I'm not sure I'd go that far.

269. As the battle raged between humanity and the Cyberiad,

270. the Cyberplanners built a Valkyrie

271. to save critically damaged units and bring them here

272. and, one by one, repair them.

273. The people who vanished from the amusement park,

274. they were spare parts for repairs?

275. We've upgraded ourselves.

276. The next model will be undefeatable.

277. Nothing's undefeatable.

278. We needed children to build a new Cyberplanet.

279. A child's brain, with its infinite potential, is perfect for our needs.

280. But we no longer need the children.

281. The Cybermites have been scanning your brain, Doctor.

282. - It's quite remarkable. - Also completely useless to you.

283. Cybermen use human parts.

284. I'm not human.

285. You can't convert non-humans.

286. Well, that was true a long time ago but we've upgraded ourselves.

287. Current Cyberunits use almost any living components.

288. Ahh!

289. Incorporated, yes.

290. Ahh, unfamiliar pulmonary setup.

291. Nervous system hyperconductive.

292. Remarkable brain processing speed.

293. Amazing.

294. Get out of my head!

295. Stop rummaging in my mind!

296. Just you try and stop me.

297. Ooh...

298. Who's Clara? Why are you thinking about her so much?

299. Enough.

300. Fascinating, a complete mental block. Highly effective.

301. Ugh! Relax, relax.

302. If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience.

303. You are being upgraded and incorporated

304. into the Cyberiad as a Cyberplanner.

305. Get out of my head!

306. What is this place? A network?

307. A hive? You're getting signals from every Cyberman everywhere.

308. And there you are, there.

309. Oh...

310. This is brilliant!

311. I'm so clever already

312. and now I'm a million times more clever and what a brain!

313. Not a human brain, not even slightly human.

314. I mean, I'm going to have to completely rework the neural interface

315. but this is going to be the most efficient

316. Cyberplanner!

317. Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself...

318. Mr Clever.

319. So much raw data. Time Lords.

320. There's information on the Time Lords in here.

321. Oh, this is just dreamy.

322. Right.

323. I'm allowing you access to memories on Time Lord regeneration.

324. Fantastic!

325. I could regenerate now. Big blast of regeneration energy,

326. burn out any little Cyber-widgets in my brain.

327. Along with everything you're connected to. Don't want to.

328. Use this me up, eh, who knows what we'll get next?

329. But I can.

330. Stalemate, then.

331. One of us needs to control this head.

332. We're too well-balanced.

333. What did you say? No, no, no, no. I heard you.

334. Rhetorical device to keep me thinking about it a bit more.

335. Stalemate.

336. We each control 49.881 % of this brain.

337. 0.238 of the brain is still in the balance.

338. Whoever gets this gets the whole thing.

339. Do you play chess?

340. The rules of chess are in my memory banks.

341. You're proposing we play chess to end the stalemate?

342. Winner takes all.

343. Nobody can access that portion of the brain without winning the game.

344. You can't win!

345. Try me.

346. You understand, when I do win

347. the Cyberiad gets your brains and memories?

348. All of it.

349. Yeah, when I win, you get out of my head,

350. you let the children go and nobody dies.

351. You got that?

352. Nobody dies!

353. Castle clear. Missy, confirm status.

354. All clear in the power station.

355. It's Missy.

356. Something's out there.

357. What do you mean? Did you see the Cyberman?

358. I don't know, I couldn't see it. It was only for a moment.

359. Can I hide? Is it okay if I hide?

360. Don't move! I'm in the army!

361. Oh, God.

362. Uh, ma'am, Missy said she saw something and then she went quiet.

363. It's on its way, then. Weapons. Show me.

364. Only one gun?

365. Cybermen have been extinct for a thousand years.

366. Even one anti-Cyber gun is a miracle.

367. These things are hand pulsers. Touch the back of a Cyberman's head,

368. the electromagnetic pulse deactivates it.

369. And what's this for? Just a mad guess here. It blows up the planet?

370. Implodes it. There's also a trigger unit.

371. I'll have that, then.

372. Is there any other way to activate the bomb?

373. It's set to respond to my voice. I have the verbal code.

374. You will not activate it without a direct order from me.

375. I will follow my orders.

376. Your orders come from me, don't they?

377. You'll need to sign for that trigger unit, ma'am.

378. Thanks.

379. Mind if I take one of these? Might be handy.

380. Help yourself. I'll teach you how to use it, upstairs.

381. Now.

382. There, that was easy.

383. The game has just started.

384. Doctor, why is there no record of you anywhere in the data banks

385. of the Cyberiad?

386. Oh. You're good.

387. Oh, you've been eliminating yourself from history.

388. You know, you could be reconstructed by the hole you've left.

389. Good point. I'll do something about that.

390. The rules of chess allow only a finite number of moves.

391. And I can use other Cyberunits as remote processors.

392. You cannot possibly win!

393. I can. I know things you don't. For example, did you know

394. very early versions of the Cyber operating system

395. could be seriously scrambled by exposure to things like gold or cleaning fluid?

396. And what's interesting is you're still running some of that code.

397. Really?

398. That's your secret weapon?

399. Cleaning fluid?

400. Nope, gold!

401. Oh! Like a charm.

402. Right, you, Cyber-Webley, and you, kid things, I'll bring the chess board,

403. let's get out of here.

404. You knew it was me.

405. I was in the Imperial Guard on Caspartine.

406. Mostly just parades but I had the honour to guard the old Emperor.

407. During the ice picnic.

408. When the snow bears came and danced for us. That was a day.

409. We're a punishment platoon. We can't beat a Cyberman.

410. The Imperium has to know what's happening.

411. Like you said, the communicators are out.

412. The only way you can report this now is to activate the bomb.

413. - Yes! - And I forbid you to do that.

414. I don't get it.

415. Why would you blow up a whole planet and everybody on it

416. just to get rid of one Cyberman?

417. We tried other ways but they only worked sometimes.

418. So now we take drastic action. And it works.

419. If you find a Cyberman and you can't destroy it immediately,

420. you implode the planet.

421. I was sent here because I didn't follow orders.

422. I can make up for that.

423. Put it down, I forbid you!

424. Yeah! What she said.

425. You ran away. I will do what I was brought up to do.

426. Live for the Empire, fight for the Empire, die for the Empire!

427. This is Captain Alice Ferry, Imperial ID 1 -9-Delta-1 -3-B. Activate...

428. Cyberman, get down!

429. The Doctor said to get somewhere easily defensible.

430. But if we just stay in the castle, he'll pick us off one by one.

431. We have to take it out!

432. Is that an order, ma'am?

433. - Yes. - Good.

434. You know what to do.

435. Pulse to the back of the head, fry the brain circuit interface.

436. It's going to be hard to get in close enough.

437. I've heard about the Cybermen since I was in my cradle.

438. I'm not afraid of you!

439. Now!

440. Hold it right there!

441. What's happening to them?

442. One more step and I fire!

443. Don't fire that.

444. A pulse will deactivate them. And anyway, it's a waste of charge.

445. We may need it again.

446. You don't think that was the only one, then?

447. Ah! Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm nice. Please, don't shoot.

448. Hey, Clara, you haven't let them blow up the planet. Good job.

449. Did you get the kids? Are they all right? What's going on?

450. Um, bit of a good news, bad news, good news again thing going on.

451. So, good news, I kidnapped the Cyberplanner

452. and right now I'm sort of in control of this Cyberman.

453. Bad news?

454. Bad news, the Cyberplanner is in my head

455. and different bad news, the kids are...

456. Well, it's complicated.

457. Complicated how?

458. Complicated as in walking coma.

459. Oh!

460. - Please tell me you can wake them up. - Hope so!

461. - Other good news? - Well, in other good news,

462. there are a few more repaired and reactivated Cybermen on the way

463. and the Cyberplanner's installing a patch for the gold thing.

464. No, wait, that isn't good news, is it? Um...

465. So, good news, I have a very good chance of winning my chess match!

466. - What? - I'll explain later.

467. In a bit of a hurry. Get me to a table! And somebody tie me up!

468. Need hands free for chess.

469. But immobilise me. Quickly.

470. Right, that's good. I won't be able to move but hands free, good.

471. - You're playing chess with yourself? - And winning.

472. Actually, he has no better than a 25% chance of winning

473. at this stage in the game. Some very dodgy moves at the beginning.

474. Hello, flesh girl. Fantastic! I'm the Cyberplanner.

475. - Doctor? - Afraid not. I'm working the mouth now.

476. Allons-y! Oh, you should see the state of these neurons.

477. He's had some cowboys in here. Ten complete rejigs.

478. You aren't the Doctor.

479. No, but I know who you are. You're the impossible girl.

480. Oh, he's very interested in you.

481. - Why am I impossible? - Hasn't he told you, the sly devil?

482. Dear me. Listen. Soon we wake.

483. We'll strip you down for spare parts, then build a spaceship and move on.

484. More Cybermen?

485. They're waking from their tomb right now.

486. You can either die or live on as one of us.

487. The Doctor will stop you.

488. He can't even access the lips.

489. Ow!

490. Ow! Oh, that hurt.

491. No, stop, enough, bit of pain, neural surge, just what I needed. Thank you.

492. - Why am I the impossible girl? - It's just a thing in my head,

493. - I'll explain later. - Chess game. Stakes?

494. If he wins, I give up my mind and he gets access to all my memories

495. along with knowledge of time travel,

496. but if I win, he'll break his promises to get out of my head

497. and then kill us all anyway.

498. - That's not reassuring! - No.

499. Please tell me you can fix whatever happened to the children.

500. Children. Yeah, they're fine.

501. I mean, right now their brains are just in standby mode.

502. - That is not fine! - Listen.

503. Right now, they have a much better chance

504. of getting out of this situation alive than you do.

505. Which one of you said that?

506. Me, Cyberplanner. Mr Clever. Now, if you don't mind,

507. I have a chess game to finish. And you have to die, pointlessly

508. and very far from home.

509. Toodle-oo.

510. Apparently, there are more Cybermen on the way.

511. There's at least a dozen more shots left in the gun before it needs to recharge.

512. We might have more than a dozen Cybermen to worry about.

513. - What's that cable? - Power line for the park.

514. What would happen if we unhooked the end,

515. dropped it into the moat and turned it on?

516. Fry anything alive that entered the water.

517. - Can Cybermen fly? - No, ma'am.

518. First good news of the day. Do it!

519. Stop that. I felt that.

520. Of course you did. It's time to get up.

521. Wakey-wakey, boys and girls.

522. Wakey-wakey.

523. - There. Get that in you. Warm you up. - Oh, thank you, Porridge.

524. Hey, Clara!

525. I'll see what he wants.

526. - Call me if there's any change. - Right.

527. Hey! Clara, there you are. Now, quick rundown.

528. What's our weapon strength?

529. One big gun, five of those hand pulser units

530. and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet.

531. Yeah, yeah. That one. Now, tell me.

532. Does it happen possibly to have a sort of remote triggery thing?

533. - Brilliant. Pass it here. - No.

534. - Why not? - In case you're not you right now.

535. - Or even if you are, just in case. - Oh, don't worry.

536. The Cyberplanner's hibernating between moves right now.

537. Shh.

538. Prove you're you.

539. Tell me something only the Doctor knows.

540. Clara...

541. I suppose

542. I'm the only one who knows how I feel about you right now.

543. How funny you are. So funny.

544. And pretty.

545. And the truth is I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just...

546. Ow! Ow! Ow!

547. Yes. Ah, it's me. That really hurt. How did you know that was him?

548. Because even if that was true, which it is obviously not,

549. I know you well enough to know that you would rather die than say it.

550. Finish your stupid game!

551. - Doctor, let go. - I can't.

552. He's got control of the left arm.

553. - Doctor? - He got what he wanted.

554. He destroyed the trigger. My move.

555. What do you mean, he got what he wanted?

556. He means good news, boys and girls.

557. They're here!

558. One gun, five hand pulsers

559. and a planet-squashing bomb that doesn't work any more.

560. - Why not? - Broken trigger unit.

561. But you signed for that.

562. I have learnt so much from you, Doctor.

563. It's been an education. But now,

564. it's time for the endgame.

565. Brilliant.

566. Upgrade in progress.

567. Ah.

568. - Who's our best shot? - Probably it's me.

569. Shoot any of them who make it across.

570. The rest of you, take defensive positions.

571. - Porridge? - Yes?

572. Keep yourself safe.

573. Alice Ferry, you should have destroyed this planet when you had the chance.

574. They're nearly here. Now, you can take my bishop and keep limping on

575. for a little longer, or you can sacrifice your queen

576. and get the children back.

577. But it's mate in five moves. And I get your mind.

578. Go!

579. Take my queen and give me back the children.

580. Emotions! Can't you see what a foolish move that was?

581. You've lost the game!

582. Kids! Back! Now!

583. Emotions, Doctor.

584. All for two human children you barely know.

585. And it was a pointless sacrifice, anyway.

586. So, Doctor,

587. do you think the children's death will affect your relationship

588. with Miss Clara?

589. Welcome to Webley's World of Wonders, children.

590. Now presenting Delights,

591. Delicacies and Death.

592. Doctor!

593. Angie, are you okay? Just look after Artie, okay?

594. Upgrade in progress.

595. Your move. But before you take it, just so you know, sacrificing my queen

596. was the best possible move I could have made.

597. The Time Lords invented chess. It's our game and if you don't avoid my trap,

598. it gives me mate in three moves.

599. How?

600. I've got no charge left!

601. How?

602. Come on. Call yourself a chess-playing robot?

603. How?

604. Hey, you figure it out.

605. Or don't you have the processing power? Hmm?

606. Please standby. You will be upgraded.

607. - Welcome to the Cyberiad. - Upgraded.

608. - You will be upgraded. - Welcome to the Cyberiad.

609. You will be upgraded.

610. What are you doing?

611. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor.

612. I'm pulling in extra processing power.

613. Three million Cyberbrains working on one tiny chess problem.

614. How long do you think it's going to take us to solve it?

615. That's cheating.

616. No, no, no, no. Just pulling in the local resources.

617. There's no way you can get to mate in three moves.

618. Three moves! You want to know what they are?

619. You're lying!

620. No!

621. Move one, turn on sonic screwdriver.

622. Move two, activate pulser.

623. Move three, amplify pulser.

624. See ya.

625. That's cheating!

626. Just taking advantage of the local resources.

627. Ah, hello. Could somebody untie me, please?

628. Do you think I'm pretty?

629. No. You're too short and bossy and your nose is all funny.

630. Good enough. What happened to the Cyberplanner?

631. Out of my head and redistributed across three million Cybermen right now

632. and about to wake them all up, kill us and start constructing a spaceship.

633. We need to destroy this planet before they can get off it!

634. Okay. It has a fallback voice activation.

635. The Captain, but she's dead.

636. - I think you should ask Porridge. - Why?

637. Well, he is the Emperor.

638. I bet he knows the activation codes. Oh, come on, it's obvious.

639. He looks exactly like he does on the coin. And on the waxwork.

640. Except they made him a bit taller.

641. But look, am I the only one paying attention to anything around here?

642. - You are full of surprises. Porridge? - She's right.

643. So you can save us?

644. We all die in the end. Does it matter how?

645. What do we do? I don't want to be emperor.

646. If I activate that bomb, it's all over.

647. And if you don't, three million Cybermen will spread across the galaxy.

648. Isn't that worth dying for?

649. - Doctor... - Three million Cybermen.

650. The bomb, the throne, it's all connected.

651. I just have to say,

652. "This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick Cordlongstaff the 41st,

653. "defender of humanity, Imperator of known space.

654. "Activate the desolator." And it's done.

655. It'll blow in about 80 seconds, easily long enough for the Imperial flagship

656. to locate me from my identification, warp jump into orbit and transmat us

657. to the state room.

658. Nice ship. A bit big. Not blue enough. Listen,

659. there is a large blue box at coordinates 6-Ultra-19-P.

660. I need it transmatted up here right away.

661. Right. Did you get that?

662. And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79...

663. Farewell, Cyberiad.

664. You know, it was good to get away. Good to be a person.

665. Good not to be lonely or emperor of a thousand galaxies

666. with everyone waiting for me to tell them what to do.

667. Can't you run away again?

668. They'll be keeping a close eye on me this time.

669. That's what happens when you're emperor.

670. - Loneliest job in the universe. - You don't have to be lonely.

671. I don't.

672. Clara, will you marry me?

673. What?

674. - He said... - She heard what he said.

675. You're smart and you're beautiful

676. and I've never met anyone like you before.

677. And being Emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side.

678. And you'd rule a thousand galaxies.

679. This sounds like an actual marriage proposal. Tricky.

680. Now, if you want my advice...

681. You, not one word. This is between me and the Emperor.

682. Porridge, I don't want to rule a thousand galaxies.

683. Yeah, silly of me.

684. - I'm really sorry. - But that's stupid.

685. You could be queen of the universe. How can you say no to that?

686. When someone asks you if you want to be queen of the universe,

687. you say yes. You watch. One day, I'll be queen of the universe.

688. Of course, I could have you all executed,

689. which is what a proper emperor would do.

690. You're not actually going to do that, though, are you? It's...

691. Oh, you're... Hey?

692. Go on, get out of here. All of you. Before I change my mind.

693. Thank you for having me. It was very interesting.

694. My pleasure. Thank you for coming. Now, I've got something for you.

695. It's not from me, it's from the Tardis.

696. - Ah! New phone. - Thanks!

697. - You're welcome. - Sorry I said this box was stupid.

698. Bye!

699. - Bye! - Thanks, Clara.

700. Thanks, Clara's boyfriend.

701. - Thank you, Doctor. - For what?

702. Kids day out, getting us off the planet alive,

703. whatever you were doing with the Cybermen.

704. Goodnight.

705. - See you next Wednesday! - Well, a Wednesday, definitely.

706. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday. One of the Wednesdays.

707. Impossible girl.

708. A mystery wrapped in an enigma,

709. squeezed into a skirt that's just a little bit too tight.

710. What are you?

711. Signs of any Cybertech remaining?

712. No, Majesty.

713. Have you ever wanted to be Emperor, Gloria?

714. No, Majesty.

715. That's the right answer. Come on, let's go home.

716. There is one place you must never go.

717. Where?

718. This is the Doctor's greatest secret.

719. And it is discovered.

720. He can't go there, you know he can't.

721. I have a duty.

722. You just said it's one place you must never go.

723. I'm about to cross my own timeline in the biggest way possible

724. but the Tardis doesn't like it...

725. Die, reptile!

726. Doctor! Doctor!

727. What is your name?

728. - It's... Doctor. - Doctor Who?