Doctor Who 3x42

Directed by Michael Ferguson

Jackie Lane as Dodo Chaplet • Michael Craze as Ben Jackson • Anneke Wills as Polly Wright • John Harvey as Professor Brett • Alan Curtis as Major Green

The Doctor and Dodo return to London in the present day where the Doctor becomes concerned about WOTAN, a new super-computer installed in the Post Officer Tower.

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1. Well, I suppose you know where you are, my dear.

2. London. Home.

3. It's marvellous to be back. It seems ages since I left.

4. When you've seen the ages that I've seen,

5. you won't use that term quite so freely.

6. Anyway, I don't think it's been all that long.

7. Hey, what's that for?

8. Oh, well, you see, the problem is,

9. coming back to the 20th century, my dear,

10. the TARDIS, I'm afraid, is often mistaken for the real police box.

11. - I see what you mean. - Yes, and fortunately he can't get in.

12. If only he could. Scotland Yard whipped off into time and space!

13. - So that's it. - What?

14. Oh, the tower. It's finished!

15. Isn't that interesting? Very interesting.

16. It's great, isn't it? Steven would have liked it here.

17. You know, there's something alien about that tower. I can sense it.

18. Smells okay to me. Good old London smoke.

19. I can.. I can feel... It's got something sort of powerful...

20. Look at my skin. Look at that! I've got that pricking sensation.

21. That sensation again, the same. Just as I had when I saw the Daleks...

22. - Those Daleks were near. - Daleks. Who are they?

23. Oh, yes, of course, you didn't meet them, did you, child? No.

24. No, and I pray that you never will. I really must investigate it.

25. - Things running all right? Good. - Yes, Professor.

26. It is a splendid view certainly. I think you'll enjoy it.

27. - Doctor, look at it, isn't it terrific? - Professor Brett.

28. Ah, Doctor.

29. I understand from Major Green you're a specialist in computer development?

30. Well, hardly a specialist, sir, but I dabble, yes, I dabble.

31. Oh, so that's what it is.

32. - I beg your pardon? - Yes.

33. You know, I had a very strong sense of energy outside this building.

34. A sort of magnetic pull if you like.

35. It was most unusual. So I presume that's what it must have been.

36. It is indeed. It's my life's work, Doctor.

37. - Most ingenious. - I think I can go so far as to say that

38. it's the only one in existence in the world.

39. It's at least 10 years ahead of its time.

40. - Is that so? - What makes it so special?

41. - Well, Miss... - Oh, my secretary, Dodo Chaplet.

42. Well, Miss Chaplet, I'll explain.

43. This is perhaps not the biggest computer in the world,

44. but it's certainly the most advanced.

45. In fact, it can handle scientific problems

46. well outside the range of any other computer in existence.

47. We are about to link this up with computers all over the world

48. as a central intelligence.

49. - A sort of problem solver. - I don't understand.

50. Well, perhaps it'll be clearer tonight.

51. - Oh, tonight, sir? - Yes, of course. Press conference.

52. I thought your visit...

53. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes, of course, my dear fellow.

54. - Hey, Dodo? - Oh, that's very exciting.

55. Exciting. Look, this is my secretary, Polly.

56. - Hello, Polly. - How do you do?

57. Now, Polly's pretty smart, a cracking typist, right?

58. Also, rather a cheeky one at times.

59. Well, now this machine, which I call WOTAN.

60. - You call what? - WOTAN.

61. Spelt W-O-T-A-N.

62. - Will Operating Thought Analogue... - Oh, yes, quite.

63. Well now, WOTAN can not only think faster than Polly or myself,

64. - it can also type faster. - True?

65. I'm afraid so. And it never makes mistakes. Wretched thing!

66. Are you seriously telling me, sir,

67. that you have invented a machine that can think?

68. - Yes. - And never makes mistakes?

69. - Never. - Hmm!

70. - I take it I speak into here? - Yes, that's right, Doctor.

71. What is the square route of 17,4227

72. Correct? - One moment, please.

73. 131.993.

74. Yes, that's near enough.

75. - Yes. It's truly remarkable. - May I try it now?

76. Certainly, go ahead.

77. Now let's see, you funny looking contraption.

78. Here's one you'll never get. What does the word "TARDIS" mean?

79. - Doctor? - Well, what does it say, my dear?

80. Got it right. Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.

81. Good heavens! Let me see.

82. - Well now, how would it know that? - WOTAN knows a lot I don't know.

83. There's something else I can tell you, Miss Chaplet.

84. Miss Chaplet?

85. Dodo! - Pardon?

86. What's the matter, my dear? Are you all right?

87. - Oh, yes. Just a buzzing in the ears. - Oh. Just sit down for a moment.

88. Now tell me, sir, now tell me. What part does this play?

89. Oh, that's the usual memory bank.

90. I see. And that, of course, is the program me regiment at or?

91. Yes, but in this case, a slightly different one.

92. - Yes. I, I wonder... - Are you feeling better now?

93. - Oh, fine, thank you. - Good! Polly'll look after you.

94. - Is this your first time in London? - Oh, no. It feels like it, though.

95. I'm so out of touch.

96. What I'd really like would be to go to the hottest night spot in town.

97. Oh, well, that's easy, the Inferno.

98. - Hi, Kitty. - Hello, Polly love.

99. Oh, am I glad to see you.

100. - Kitty, this is Dodo. Dodo, Kitty. - Hello.

101. Hi, Dodo.

102. Polly, you're just the person I need. Will you help me?

103. Oh, here we go again. Not that I mind helping people.

104. - Well, what is it, then? - When you were here last week,

105. do you remember a sailor at the end of the bar?

106. - Not especially, why? - He's been here ever since.

107. Poor lad, he just sits there at the end of the bar.

108. Look out, here he comes now.

109. Well, see?

110. He's no great advertisement for the most "with it" place in town, is he?

111. Couldn't you cheer him up just a little?

112. All right, Kitty. Leave it to us.

113. Stand by, Dodo. This looks like a rescue mission.

114. The Navy's in trouble. Excuse me.

115. Well, hello. We met the other night, remember?

116. Oh, yeah. I think I do.

117. You think you do? Oh, I must have made a big impression.

118. - No, it's not that. - What is it, then?

119. It must be something pretty big not to have noticed me.

120. - Well, I'm sorry. - He says he's sorry.

121. There's no law against sitting here, is there?

122. Well, there should be when you've got that look on your face.

123. Look, I'll show you.

124. - Is it as bad as that, then? - Worse!

125. So spill the beans, sailor. Give us the facts. What's your problem?

126. Ah, you wouldn't understand. You'd think I'm some kind of nut.

127. Try us.

128. Well, it's my ship, see. It's gone off to the West Indies

129. and I've got a shore posting. In barracks for six months!

130. And you'll miss the swaying palms, the white beaches, the blue sea...

131. Very funny! If you've finished cheering me up.

132. Come on, Dodo. Let's leave him.

133. I can't stand people with no sense of humour.

134. Try me. I got a great sense of humour. Anything for a giggle.

135. - Please take your arm away. - Oh, come on, darling. I know your type.

136. You'll have a better time with me than with old shorty there.

137. - What's that? - Oh, get lost!

138. Let her go!

139. Look, go and play with your toy boats, half-pint!

140. I said, let go of her!

141. Just try it, mate. I'll chop you to little bits!

142. What's all this?

143. Nothing. One of your customers wants to go home.

144. - You wanna be careful who you encourage. - You conceited little...

145. Oh, now, Polly, he was only trying to help.

146. - Thank you, er...? - Ben. Ben Jackson.

147. Gentlemen, ladies, may I have your attention please?

148. Well, you've heard the backroom boys, now it's my turn.

149. C-Day, that is Computer Day,

150. will be next Monday, July 16th, that is in 4 days' time.

151. Now, on that date, all the computer systems in this country,

152. and subsequently in the whole world,

153. will come under the control of this central computer, which we call WOTAN.

154. As you've heard, that will have both peaceful and military implications.

155. I need hardly tell you that this is a great step forward for Britain

156. and, indeed I may say, for the whole world.

157. - Now, have you got any questions? - Roy Stone, New York Sketch.

158. - Fire away. - Sir, doesn't this put

159. a great deal of power into the hands of whoever operates WOTAN?

160. No one operates WOTAN. WOTAN operates itself.

161. The computer is merely a brain which thinks logically

162. without any political or private ends.

163. It is pure thought.

164. It makes calculations. It supplies only the truth. It has no imaginative powers.

165. Is there no way of fixing it so it can give the wrong answers?

166. There would be no point. Now don't forget that a computer like WOTAN

167. - is not a human being. - Oh, but surely...

168. It has no reason to suppress the truth. It has no emotions. It is our soul.

169. It seems to me by the way you're talking

170. that this machine can think for itself like a human being.

171. It can. Only much more accurately.

172. But, sir, isn't this kinda risky?

173. I mean, suppose it decides it can do without people, what then?

174. I hardly think it'll come to that. I'm sure that Professor Brett

175. and his team will have the machine well under control.

176. - Where the devil is Brett? - He should have met me here an hour ago.

177. - Give him a buzz, there's a good fellow. - Yes, all right.

178. Now, gentlemen, I must apologise for the absence of Professor Brett.

179. I'm sure he'll be along in a moment or two if you will just bear with us.

180. It is, after all, his show.

181. I have to go now. I'm already very late for an important meeting.

182. Good night.

183. You wanted something, Professor?

184. - Have you been here all day, Major? - Yes, of course.

185. Are you sure this building's properly screened?

186. - If you have any complaints... - I have.

187. There's someone in this part of the building.

188. I'm sorry, sir. Not at all possible.

189. We have a complete security check on this section of the tower day and night.

190. - Are you sure? - Positive.

191. That's funny.

192. I've had a feeling all day of someone there.

193. Someone listening to me, watching me.

194. There's only the two of us in this part of the tower, sir.

195. I suppose you must be right.

196. I'm sorry, Major. I must be getting tired.

197. That's all right. Oh, will you be working late tonight, Professor?

198. No, no, good heavens. I must be off, I'm late.

199. - Thank you, Major. - Good night, sir.

200. This is ridiculous. I must be imagining things.

201. It's quite ridiculous.

202. What do you want?

203. - I don't think so. I can't. - Okay.

204. - I'm thirsty. - Yeah.

205. Hello, there.

206. - Bright and breezy now, are we? - Yeah.

207. Steady sailor. Watch it!

208. - Same again, girls? - Thank you.

209. Polly, you're a wonder! How do you do it?

210. Oh, it's just a knack, you know.

211. Anytime you want a bit of brightness in your lives, come to Pol.

212. Mind you, he's a special case.

213. You can have a job here anytime you like.

214. I've got a very good one, thanks. What's the matter, Dodo?

215. I don't know. I've had a sort of headache ever since I left your office.

216. Headache?

217. A sort of high-pitched hum. It's gone again now. I'm all right. Really.

218. Oh, good. Anyone feel like another dance?

219. Oh, here we go!

220. Well, gentlemen and ladies, if there are no more questions?

221. I really am very sorry about the absence of Professor Brett.

222. I'm sure that it must have been something very important

223. that prevented him from coming... Ah! Professor Brett.

224. Gentlemen, I am sorry I was not able to attend. It was unavoidable.

225. Now you're here, perhaps you'll talk to the gentlemen...

226. - I want to see to Professor Krimpton. - Ibeg your pardon?

227. - It's urgent. Professor Krimpton. - See me now?

228. Immediately, if you don't mind.

229. - Are you all right, Brett? - Quite all right, thank you.

230. - Well, is it the computer, then? - No.

231. Professor Brett, I'm from New York Sketch...

232. No comment. This way, Krimpton.

233. I haven't asked a question, sir. Can you make a comment?

234. I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but that seems to be it.

235. Thank you very much for your time.

236. - Sir Charles? - Thank you.

237. Excuse me, are you the doctor that.

238. - Professor Brett telephoned me about? - Yes, I am, Sir Charles.

239. I'm very glad that you could come along.

240. I wonder what on Earth's got into him this evening?

241. - His manner was very odd. - Yes, very odd, very odd indeed.

242. Perhaps he's overworking. Who was that little man, Krimpton?

243. Oh, electronics fellow, one of our top men.

244. Come to think of it, electronics.

245. Perhaps there is something wrong with WOTAN

246. and he didn't want to let it out? That would explain it, wouldn't it?

247. I'm terribly sorry, but would you excuse me?

248. I think I'd better go and check.

249. Kennedy, will you look after the Doctor for me?

250. I wonder.

251. Hmm.

252. I wonder.

253. I understand.

254. Hello, Inferno.

255. What? Who? Speak up!

256. Oh, right, yes. I'll get her.

257. Dodo, it's for you.

258. Hello? Yes, who is it?

259. Hello, who is this? Hello?

260. Yes. Yes, I understand.

261. Brett!

262. I must say it's rather odd to break up a meeting like that

263. - and drag me off at this time of night! - I had no choice, Krimpton.

264. - No choice? Now what do you mean? - You will soon understand.

265. Now look here, Brett! I'll stay a couple of minutes.

266. - I think it's a bit much. - Nothing is too much.

267. What are you talking about? What's the matter with you this evening?

268. Has the computer broken down?

269. On the contrary, it's we who have broken down.

270. We have failed.

271. - We have failed? - We've reached a standstill.

272. We cannot develop the Earth any further. Further progress is impossible.

273. What do you mean, impossible?

274. That is the conclusion reached by WOTAN.

275. Are you joking?

276. - This machine is hardly in a position... - I'm not joking.

277. WOTAN has decided

278. the world cannot progress further with mankind running it.

279. Oh, really? And what does WOTAN propose to do about it? Take over from us?

280. From now on, we are to serve.

281. And if we choose not to, I suppose, mankind will be eliminated?

282. If it is necessary.

283. You've been working too hard, old chap.

284. - You've gone completely off your rocker. - You cannot escape.

285. Oh, dear.

286. Oh, Major, thank heavens you're here.

287. He's gone round the bend. He's gone mad!

288. He is not mad, Professor Krimpton.

289. - Let me out of here. - You must wait.

290. - I refuse to be kept. I refuse to... - Don't touch that!

291. You can't keep me here. I'll get...

292. No. It's not possible.

293. No. I don't believe it!

294. I won't work for you.

295. I'm human.

296. There's nothing more important than human life.

297. Machines cannot govern man.

298. I will not

299. what do you want?

300. Where's your friend, then? Can't see her anywhere.

301. I don't know. Surely she wouldn't have left without a word to us?

302. I shouldn't think so. She seemed a nice bird, friendly.

303. - Not stuck-up like you, duchess. - Look, don't call me duchess.

304. I'm worried about Dodo. I'm supposed to be looking after her.

305. - You know, showing her around. - You? That's a laugh!

306. Well, it is our night for surprises. What does he want in here?

307. - Oh, it's the Doctor. - Do you know him?

308. He's Dodo's boss.

309. - He looks like that disc jockey. - I thought I'd find you both here.

310. I hope Dodo and yourself have enjoyed yourselves.

311. - Yes, thank you. - Have one on the house, Doctor.

312. It isn't every day we get the over-20s in this place.

313. Oh, I dig your fab gear!

314. - Fab gear. Who is your friend? - He's not exactly a friend.

315. I've just met him. His name is Ben. Ben, the Doctor.

316. - Hello, sir. - How do you do, my boy?

317. I don't see Dodo about.

318. - I'm afraid she's gone. - She's gone? Gone where, child?

319. Well, she came to answer the phone about half an hour ago

320. and we haven't seen her since.

321. There is one special human brain that WOTAN needs.

322. The task of leading this brain here to serve WOTAN

323. will be an extremely delicate matter.

324. - It has been arranged. - Someone is coming.

325. The fourth member called here to receive orders.

326. The Doctor's secretary.

327. What are my instructions?

328. Doctor

329. who

330. is required.

331. Bring him here.