1. Well, Katie, my girl,Copy !req
2. five minutes should see the end
of the manCopy !req
3. the Clantons think is Doc Holiday.Copy !req
4. And then I can start trading
under another name.Copy !req
5. What name would you fancy, Kate?Copy !req
6. Kate?Copy !req
7. "Gone back to the Last Chance Saloon."Copy !req
8. Why must women meddle?Copy !req
9. Look, fellas, please. Come on, please.Copy !req
10. - I've sung this song four times already!
- I said sing it again!Copy !req
11. - Couldn't we try a different song?
- Once more, then!Copy !req
12. The same one.Copy !req
13. Now, what's going on here?Copy !req
14. Okay now, boys, put them guns away.Copy !req
15. Now, Charlie, got yourself
a new singer maybe?Copy !req
16. Why, why no, Kate,
it's just that these gentleman...Copy !req
17. Now, Charlie,
am I the singer here or ain't I?Copy !req
18. Why, surely are, Kate.Copy !req
19. Then get that guy away from my pianoCopy !req
20. before we need
a new barkeep real sudden.Copy !req
21. (STAMMERING) You heard what she said,
I reckon you'd better...Copy !req
22. Now go on, Dodo.
Get upstairs and lock your door.Copy !req
23. Oh, but I was enjoying playing.Copy !req
24. Don't argue, kid. Vamoose.Copy !req
25. Oh, well, if that's the way you feel.
Are you coming, Steven?Copy !req
26. - Yeah.
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
27. Now, hold on. Stay right there, mister.Copy !req
28. This time, you play piano.Copy !req
29. - Me? But...
- Yeah.Copy !req
30. Let's take it from the top again,
double tempo.Copy !req
31. - Well, thank you and goodnight!
- Dodo!Copy !req
32. Oh, it's quite all right, Steven.
Don't mind me.Copy !req
33. Just have a good time
with your new friend!Copy !req
34. Well, now, perhaps we can get
a little action around here.Copy !req
35. - Yeah.
- Okay, mister,Copy !req
36. - make with the piano.
- Make with the piano.Copy !req
37. Yee-ha, yahoo! Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
38. Not bad.Copy !req
39. Well played, Steven, my boy.
Well played.Copy !req
40. Yes, and you too, my dear. Excellent.Copy !req
41. I'd really no idea.Copy !req
42. Oh, thank you, Doctor.
Neither had I.Copy !req
43. Well, if it ain't the great Doc.Copy !req
44. Oh, you flatter me, young man.Copy !req
45. Yes, reasonably accomplished
I would say, but uh, not great.Copy !req
46. You can say that again.Copy !req
47. Oh, really? Why? Oh, yes, of course.Copy !req
48. We met a little while ago down
at the dentist, didn't we?Copy !req
49. Yes, and you so very kindlyCopy !req
50. invited me to join you and your friends
for a drink.Copy !req
51. - And a little talk, Doc.
- Yes, quite so, quite so.Copy !req
52. Well, I'm afraid I don't touch alcohol,Copy !req
53. but a little glass of milk
and I should be only too delighted.Copy !req
54. Erm, won't you, uh, introduce me?Copy !req
55. Yeah, yeah, give me pleasure.Copy !req
56. Doc, I would like you to meet
the Clanton brothers.Copy !req
57. The Clanton brothers. Oh, dear.
I mean, eh, how do you do? Mmm?Copy !req
58. Recognise the name, Doc?Copy !req
59. Oh, yes, I do. Indeed, yes.Copy !req
60. Steven, don't you think it's time
we were going, hmm?Copy !req
61. Not just yet, Doc. We haven't had
our little talk about brother Reuben.Copy !req
62. The late brother Reuben.Copy !req
63. Oh, yes, I know.Copy !req
64. Yes, sometimes after a bereavement,Copy !req
65. it's very difficult to find
exactly the right kind of words.Copy !req
66. The right words?Copy !req
67. You see, Doc, the boys don't want...
They don't want words.Copy !req
68. - They want action.
- Oh, indeed. Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
69. Well, if you take my advice,Copy !req
70. I would leave it in the hands
of the right people.Copy !req
71. And the right people happen be
your friend Wyatt Earp?Copy !req
72. Uh, he's not my friend, no.Copy !req
73. I would rather call him
a casual travelling acquaintance.Copy !req
74. Well, that ain't the way I heard it.Copy !req
75. - Nor me.
- Nor me.Copy !req
76. We heard that you and him
were closer than fleas on a porcupine.Copy !req
77. Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday.Copy !req
78. The bottle-puncher lawman and
a good-for-nothing drunken gambler.Copy !req
79. Steady, boy. Let Seth handle this.Copy !req
80. Wait a moment.
I think I can begin to see your mistake.Copy !req
81. It's your mistake that
we're interested in, Doc.Copy !req
82. (CHUCKLES) But I am not the Doc.Copy !req
83. The man you're looking for
is the local dentist.Copy !req
84. Yes! He has a little shop here,
along the street.Copy !req
85. It seems to me that's where I found you.Copy !req
86. Yes, well, I can explain that. You see...Copy !req
87. And your gun's got his brand on it.Copy !req
88. Uh, well, yes, as a matter of fact,
he lent it to me because, because...Copy !req
89. Because what, Doc?Copy !req
90. Uh, well, just until I leave the town,
as it were.Copy !req
91. You ain't leavin', Doc.Copy !req
92. Alive, that is.Copy !req
93. Excuse me. Gentlemen, gentlemen,
they must have made a horrible mistake.Copy !req
94. Steven, my boy...Copy !req
95. One word out of your friend Regret here,
and he gets his.Copy !req
96. Aw, for Pete's sake, Doc,
tell 'em you're Holiday.Copy !req
97. You can take on all four of 'em any time.Copy !req
98. Yes, I'm sorry, gentleman,
but this is Holiday's young girlfriend,Copy !req
99. and she's only lying to protect him.Copy !req
100. Now, as I've already told you
about this gun...Copy !req
101. Okay, don't try it, fellas.Copy !req
102. Nice shooting, Doc,Copy !req
103. but ya should have got him
between the eyes.Copy !req
104. - Between the who?
- The eyes.Copy !req
105. Oh, my dear young lady, I, I...Copy !req
106. Kill the next one that moves.Copy !req
107. Yes, yes, quite so, quite so.
Very good idea. Excellent.Copy !req
108. Well, you heard. Steven, get their guns!Copy !req
109. - (WHISPERING) I thought I heard a shot.
- Quiet!Copy !req
110. Now, you just get right back
to your room, missy.Copy !req
111. - How do we proceed?
- Line 'em up against the piano.Copy !req
112. Yes, excellent idea.Copy !req
113. Well, gentlemen, you will move over
in an orderly fashion. You, too.Copy !req
114. - (GUN FIRES)
- Hey!Copy !req
115. - You won't get away with this, Holiday!
- I keep telling you, I'm not Holiday.Copy !req
116. Well, what do we do now?Copy !req
117. Well, Doc, I reckon that's up to you now.Copy !req
118. You should have killed me
while you had the chance, Doc,Copy !req
119. because you're gonna pay for this.Copy !req
120. Indeed, indeed. And may I point out that
I still have the chance, sir?Copy !req
121. Well, I don't have no gun.Copy !req
122. Exactly! That's the whole point, isn't it?Copy !req
123. Am I hearin' right?Copy !req
124. If you ain't the lowest,
meanest sidewinder...Copy !req
125. Well, Howdy, sinners!Copy !req
126. Holding a prayer meeting?
Why, I'd be proud to join you.Copy !req
127. My dear Marshal, I'm so glad to see you.Copy !req
128. You know, I was trying
to explain to them...Copy !req
129. Looks like you was explaining.
Hand over your gun.Copy !req
130. Wyatt and I handle that kind of
explaining around here.Copy !req
131. Just easy down, everybody.
You too, Kate.Copy !req
132. - Now, who did what?
- (ALL) Holiday started it!Copy !req
133. We was just having ourselves
a friendly discussion.Copy !req
134. Before we could say a word he had us
lined up here like a row...Copy !req
135. Yeah, he shot us all down
in c-c-cold blood.Copy !req
136. Don't you listen to 'em, Marshal.
I saw the whole thing,Copy !req
137. - and it was these guys...
- Oh sure, sure, boy.Copy !req
138. Sure, it must of been quite a sight.Copy !req
139. Now, Doc...Copy !req
140. Now, wait a minute, Wyatt,
this guy ain't...Copy !req
141. - Have you gone mad? Doc Holiday's...
- Oh, be quiet, Bat.Copy !req
142. I reckon I can figure clear enough
what must have happened.Copy !req
143. I'm sorry, friend,
I'm gonna have to take you in.Copy !req
144. You're under arrest, Pop.Copy !req
145. Under arrest? And don't you call me Pop.Copy !req
146. You know very well who I am, sir!Copy !req
147. Oh, I surely do, old friend.Copy !req
148. - I want to see my solicitor.
- A what? Huh.Copy !req
149. (CHUCKLES) A night in the jail house
is just about what you need.Copy !req
150. Oh, very well. But I promise you,
you will regret this, sir.Copy !req
151. AL I hope is you know
what you're doin', Wyatt.Copy !req
152. Oh, I reckon I do.
Well, goodnight, sinners.Copy !req
153. I'm sorry your stay
in our fair law-abidin' cityCopy !req
154. has been so, uh, rudely disturbed.Copy !req
155. Well, if that don't beat all.Copy !req
156. That figures. He couldn't take us inCopy !req
157. until he'd got the Doc
out of trouble like always.Copy !req
158. Yeah.Copy !req
159. Hey, what about him?Copy !req
160. Yeah, what about him?Copy !req
161. How long are you proposing
to keep me here?Copy !req
162. Hardly no time at all, ma'am. Just relax.Copy !req
163. Oh, Kate.Copy !req
164. So that's where you're hidin',
Doc Holiday.Copy !req
165. Doc Holiday?Copy !req
166. - What's she doin' here?
- Ah, she saw me fire the gun.Copy !req
167. Yeah, I guessed that was you.
That's why I come a-lookin'.Copy !req
168. You should've killed the little rat.Copy !req
169. That thought did occur to me,Copy !req
170. but I reckoned that in the ensuing fracasCopy !req
171. you might get hurt as well as the old guy.Copy !req
172. Sure. Real soft-hearted, ain't ya?Copy !req
173. Look, which old guy
are you talking about?Copy !req
174. Oh, a real nice old guy, lady.
He came in to get a tooth fixed.Copy !req
175. That must have been the Doctor.
What happened to him?Copy !req
176. - Wyatt Earp's arrested him.
- Arrested?Copy !req
177. Now, why would Wyatt
do a thing like that?Copy !req
178. Because Wyatt let them go on thinkin'Copy !req
179. - the old guy was you, that's why.
- Oh.Copy !req
180. I must go to the Doctor.
You've got to let me out of here!Copy !req
181. If he's in the hands of Wyatt Earp,
he could not be safer.Copy !req
182. Now then, ladies,Copy !req
183. why don't all let's settle down
to a nice game of chance? Huh?Copy !req
184. Now, how come you got a hold of
Holiday's gun?Copy !req
185. I have already told you,
my dear Sheriff. He lent it to me.Copy !req
186. And why would Holiday
do a fool thing like that?Copy !req
187. Because he knew the Clantons
was a-laying for him.Copy !req
188. - Yes, a most unscrupulous man.
- Yeah, I think I'll go find him.Copy !req
189. Ah, but I insist on coming with you.Copy !req
190. Now, you'll stay right where you are.Copy !req
191. Why, you've got four of the meanest
characters in the territoryCopy !req
192. believing you're Doc Holiday.Copy !req
193. You take one step outside of this jail,
friend, and you're a dead man.Copy !req
194. Now, I don't care what Wyatt Earp said.Copy !req
195. That man's not Doc Holiday.Copy !req
196. Well, he sure enough
shoots like Doc Holiday.Copy !req
197. He never fired that shot.
They've got no right to arrest him.Copy !req
198. He's done nothing wrong.Copy !req
199. You planning to get him out of jail?Copy !req
200. What's so funny about that?
I gotta get him out.Copy !req
201. All you gotta do is gun down
Earp and Bat Masterson.Copy !req
202. You all set to try that?Copy !req
203. No, of course not, butCopy !req
204. well, I know if I can get him out of jail,Copy !req
205. I can prove who he really is.Copy !req
206. Now, wouldn't that be somethin'?Copy !req
207. Boys, what do you say
we give Mr Regret here a hand?Copy !req
208. Yeah!Copy !req
209. Okay, Doc, so you cleaned me out again.Copy !req
210. I'm thirsty.
Kate, take a look down in the bar.Copy !req
211. - See if we've still got company.
- Now, Doc.Copy !req
212. Take a look, I say!Copy !req
213. I'm sorry to speak sharp, missy,Copy !req
214. but I'm gettin' to feel almost
as caged up here as you are.Copy !req
215. (SIGHS) They're still there,
still drinkin'.Copy !req
216. Oh, well, I think maybe
I'll take a little walk.Copy !req
217. Oh, now, Doc, you promised
there'd be no more trouble.Copy !req
218. Now, you wouldn't want me
to die of thirst, would you?Copy !req
219. Oh, well, now,
if that's all that's troublin' you.Copy !req
220. You left a bottle back in your office.Copy !req
221. Why don't you just
crawl back there and get it?Copy !req
222. Now, that's all a man needs.
A real gentle, understandin' woman.Copy !req
223. I'll be back just as soon as
you've finishedCopy !req
224. breaking up my character.Copy !req
225. Ain't it wonderful, honey,Copy !req
226. what a man will do
for what he truly believes in?Copy !req
227. Now, where in thunder
did I leave that bottle?Copy !req
228. Right behind you, Doc.Copy !req
229. Well, that ain't friendly, Wyatt.
That ain't friendly at all.Copy !req
230. Maybe not.Copy !req
231. Can't say as how I feel particular
well-disposed towards you right now.Copy !req
232. (LAUGHING) You're gettin' clumsy.Copy !req
233. Go on.Copy !req
234. Do you mind if I turn
this lamp up a little?Copy !req
235. Make sure you haven't got
a whole posse with you?Copy !req
236. Well, now, what do you want?Copy !req
237. Only thing I want from you, Doc,
is to get out of town.Copy !req
238. Now, where did I put that whiskey?Copy !req
239. Why the hell should I get out of town?Copy !req
240. I ain't done nothing agin the law.Copy !req
241. Not yet, you ain't.Copy !req
242. But when the Clantons finally wise up,
why, there's gonna be shootin', Doc.Copy !req
243. And I can't keep that old guy locked up
in jail forever, you know.Copy !req
244. Uh, that's my dentist's chair.
That's dangerous, Wyatt.Copy !req
245. How long can you keep him then?Copy !req
246. Well, I'll release him as soon as
I've told 'em the truth about you.Copy !req
247. Tomorrow morning.Copy !req
248. Now, you can ride out tonight
and get yourself a head start.Copy !req
249. But I only just hit town.
I only just set up this business.Copy !req
250. Well, it'll be here when you get back.
I mean, don't worry.Copy !req
251. This is just till this thing blows over.Copy !req
252. Would you mind tellin' me
what this is all about?Copy !req
253. Yeah. Old Pa Clanton and his boys areCopy !req
254. running the biggest rustling operation
this territory's ever seen.Copy !req
255. Pretty soon they'll be takin' over
the whole of TombstoneCopy !req
256. unless something's done to stop 'em.Copy !req
257. Well, why don't you stop 'em, then?Copy !req
258. Well, Bat and me can't handle it alone.Copy !req
259. We'll stop 'em
soon as my brothers get here.Copy !req
260. Oh, it looks like you could use
an extra hand.Copy !req
261. Well, later maybe.Copy !req
262. But in the meantime, Doc, just ride out.Copy !req
263. Wyatt, have you been
drinking my whiskey?Copy !req
264. Ride out, Doc.Copy !req
265. (SIGHS) Else you'll be gunnin' for me,
come sun-up.Copy !req
266. So this is the way we'll play it, Regret.Copy !req
267. You take this gun over to the jail houseCopy !req
268. and slip it through the cell window
to Holiday.Copy !req
269. And he says,
"Open the door or I'll shoot."Copy !req
270. Uh-huh. And where do you guys come in?Copy !req
271. Well, we wait outside the jail house
in case anything goes wrong.Copy !req
272. Yeah.Copy !req
273. And so's that we can prevent a mis
(STUTTERING)Copy !req
274. carriage of justice.Copy !req
275. - To welcome him back to society.
- Oh. Not to gun him down?Copy !req
276. - (ALL PROTESTING)
- Why would we do a thing like that?Copy !req
277. You say he ain't Holiday.
Okay, he's got nothin' to fear.Copy !req
278. What do you say?Copy !req
279. It sounds like a pretty foolproof idea.Copy !req
280. Well, it sure is, because
you know, come mornin',Copy !req
281. - they're gonna ship him out of there.
- Yeah, up to the County jail.Copy !req
282. And what happens after I give him this?Copy !req
283. You c-come back here,
and then we take over.Copy !req
284. - We take over.
- Yeah.Copy !req
285. Yeah, I got the picture.
Okay, I'll see you in 20 minutes.Copy !req
286. Okay, right.Copy !req
287. - (ALL LAUGHING)
- There's one born every minute!Copy !req
288. Hold it, boys.
I don't think he believed us.Copy !req
289. Phin, you follow him and make certainCopy !req
290. him and his friend Holiday
don't run away.Copy !req
291. Okay.Copy !req
292. - And Billy, you get the rope.
- Yeah.Copy !req
293. You really going to marry him?Copy !req
294. Surely am.Copy !req
295. Though over how many dead bodies
I don't rightly know.Copy !req
296. But he's an outlaw.Copy !req
297. Oh, honey, I've known them all
in my time.Copy !req
298. Jesse James,
Billy the Kid, Johnny Ringo.Copy !req
299. And I'm tellin' you,
the Doc's the best of the bunch.Copy !req
300. He's a real gentleman.
Just been a mite unlucky, is all.Copy !req
301. In what way?Copy !req
302. Oh, was on the run, least ways
till he met up with Wyatt Earp.Copy !req
303. Since then he's usually managed to keep
right side of the law.Copy !req
304. That's why for the first time
I guess he's gonna settle down.Copy !req
305. Kate, seems you and I have to
leave town before mornin'.Copy !req
306. - So go get packed.
- Oh, but Doc, why?Copy !req
307. Wyatt Earp is gunnin' for me,Copy !req
308. and you know that in my whole life
I never killed a friend.Copy !req
309. - Oh, you're a real gentleman.
- Go get packed.Copy !req
310. Didn't I tell you, honey?Copy !req
311. Doctor!
- Hmm?Copy !req
312. Doctor!Copy !req
313. Oh, Steven, my boy.Copy !req
314. Good gracious.
I've been so worried about you.Copy !req
315. - How's Dodo?
- She's fine.Copy !req
316. She's locked in her hotel room
quite safe.Copy !req
317. - Look, I've brought you this.
- What on earth for?Copy !req
318. Use it to bluff your way out.Copy !req
319. The Clanton gang still think that
you're Doc Holiday.Copy !req
320. I'll be waiting for you outside.
We must get back to the TARDIS.Copy !req
321. Yes, but my dear boy...Copy !req
322. Look, there's not time to argue, Doctor.
We've only got 10 minutes.Copy !req
323. Now, good luck.Copy !req
324. But, Steven! Oh, confound the boy.Copy !req
325. Ten minutes.Copy !req
326. Hmm. Ten minutes.Copy !req
327. Mr Werp? Oh, uh, Mr Werp.
I say, can you do that?Copy !req
328. Nope. And I wouldn't try it if I were you.Copy !req
329. I have no intention of trying anything,
only people keep giving me guns,Copy !req
330. and I do wish they wouldn't.Copy !req
331. I wonder, would you mind
looking after it for me, hmm?Copy !req
332. My pleasure.
And, uh, who gave it to you?Copy !req
333. Oh, that young friend of mine,
you know, um, Steven.Copy !req
334. A rather impetuous sort of lad.Copy !req
335. He said to meet him outside
in 10 minutes' time.Copy !req
336. Oh, did he? Well, I must go
and have a word with him.Copy !req
337. Oh, yes, I wish you would.Copy !req
338. And would you kindly explain to himCopy !req
339. that I'm quite happy where I am
for the moment? Hmm?Copy !req
340. And I say Holiday's the meanest manCopy !req
341. that's ever polluted
the fair name of the west!Copy !req
342. Yeah!
- And while he's around,Copy !req
343. there's gonna be nothing
but trouble and bloodshed!Copy !req
344. Yeah!Copy !req
345. And the law, the law says
maybe he'll do a spell in jail.Copy !req
346. Well, are we going to let Wyatt Earp
get away with that?Copy !req
347. No!Copy !req
348. Then I say let's go over to the jail house,Copy !req
349. get him out and string him up
from the nearest tree!Copy !req
350. Yeah!Copy !req
351. Did he do what we said, Phin?Copy !req
352. Yeah. Mr Regret didn't seem
too keen on seein' us again.Copy !req
353. Caught him goin' away from the saloon.Copy !req
354. That was mighty unwise of you, mister.
Okay, boys, rope him!Copy !req
355. Come on, now, what's the idea?Copy !req
356. Our idea is, friend,
that if Holiday don't bust out of jail,Copy !req
357. we got us a hostage.Copy !req
358. He's gotta get out to stop you
swingin' in his place.Copy !req
359. Come on. Let's go!Copy !req
360. A-hat.Copy !req
361. - Okay, Doc, I'm ready. Let's get going.
- What about me?Copy !req
362. Don't you worry, honey,Copy !req
363. I'll be returning you to your friends
in the jail house before we leave.Copy !req
364. - (LOUD CLAMOURING)
- Hey, Doc, take a look out here.Copy !req
365. What?Copy !req
366. They've got Steven!Copy !req
367. - They got my operatin' chair! Wait here!
- Hey, Doc, come back here!Copy !req
368. Doc, you can't do nothin' now.
Doc!Copy !req
369. Just hold on there, friend.Copy !req
370. - Hey, are you Doc Holiday?
- That is my name.Copy !req
371. Now you've done it.Copy !req
372. And aim to continue.Copy !req
373. If you're Doc Holiday,
I wouldn't go out there.Copy !req
374. The whole town's out to lynch you.Copy !req
375. Yeah, I reckon he's right.
Uh, we'd better get out of town.Copy !req
376. You saddle a couple of horses, Kate.
No, make it three.Copy !req
377. Three?Copy !req
378. - You'll have to come with us, missy.
- But what about my friends?Copy !req
379. (CHUCKLES) They're safe with Wyatt.Copy !req
380. I can't take on the whole town
on my own.Copy !req
381. But you promised
to take me back to them.Copy !req
382. Our only hope is to get out of here alive.Copy !req
383. Now, will you get on?Copy !req
384. Ow!Copy !req
385. Better come over here, Wyatt.Copy !req
386. - When was you gonna break out of jail?
- About now, Marshal.Copy !req
387. Well, lookie here, friend.Copy !req
388. Somebody's fixin' up a reception for ya.Copy !req
389. What?Copy !req
390. Good gracious! And Steven's with them!Copy !req
391. String him up!Copy !req
392. Holiday, you still in there?Copy !req
393. Get out of the street, Clanton.
Holiday's my prisoner.Copy !req
394. Well, that's too bad,Copy !req
395. 'cause if he's ain't out of there
in two minutes,Copy !req
396. his friend Regret here is
gonna swing in his place.Copy !req
397. Yeah!Copy !req