1. You're up early! What's happening?
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2. It's a nightmare 'cause Dad won't listen
and I'm telling you, Mum's going mental.
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3. Swear to God, Martha, this is epic.
You got to get in there and stop him.
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4. - How do I do that?
- Tell Dad he can't bring her.
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5. Hold on, that's Leo.
I'll call you back.
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6. Martha, if Mum and Dad
start to kick off,
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7. tell them I don't even want a party.
I didn't even ask for one.
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8. They can always give me
the money instead.
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9. Why do I have to tell them?
Why can't you?
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10. Hold on, that's Mum.
I'll call you back.
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11. I don't mind your father
making a fool of himself in private,
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12. but this is Leo's 21 st.
Everyone is going to be there,
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13. and the entire family
is going to look ridiculous.
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14. Mum, it's a party. I can't stop Dad
from bringing his girlfriend.
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15. Hold on, that's Dad.
I'll call you back.
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16. Martha, now tell your mother.
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17. Leo is my son,
and I'm paying for half that party.
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18. I'm entitled to bring who I like.
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19. I know, but think
what it's going to look like for Mum
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20. if you're standing there with Annalise.
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21. What's wrong with Annalise?
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22. Is that Martha? Say hi!
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23. Hi, Martha! Hi!
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24. Hi, Annalise.
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25. Big kiss! Lots of love!
See you at the party, babes!
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26. Now take me shopping, big boy.
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27. Like so!
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28. See?
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29. Oi! Watch it, mate!
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30. I was all right till this morning,
and then...
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31. I don't know, I woke up
and I felt all dizzy again.
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32. It was worse than when I came in.
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33. Pulse is slightly thready.
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34. Well, let's see what Britain's finest
might suggest. Any ideas, Morgenstern?
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35. Er, dizziness could be
a sign of early onset diabetes.
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36. Hardly early onset,
if you'll forgive me, Miss Finnegan.
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37. Any more ideas? Swales?
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38. Um...
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39. - Could recommend a CT scan.
- And spend all our money?
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40. Jones?
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41. We could take bloods
and check for Ménière's disease.
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42. Or we could simply ask the patient.
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43. What did you have for dinner last night?
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44. I had salad.
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45. - And the night before?
- Salad, again.
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46. And salad every night for the past week,
contrary to my instructions.
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47. A salt deficiency, that's all.
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48. Simple, honest salt.
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49. Hippocrates himself
expounded on the virtues of salt.
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50. Recommended the inhalation of steam
from sea water.
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51. Though no doubt
if he'd been afflicted with my students,
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52. his oaths might have been
rather more colourful.
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53. Now then, Mr Smith, a very good morning
to you. How are you today?
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54. Oh, not so bad.
Still a bit, you know... Blah.
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55. John Smith, admitted yesterday
with severe abdominal pains.
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56. Jones, why don't you see
what you can find? Amaze me.
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57. It wasn't very clever
running around outside, was it?
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58. - Sorry?
- On Chancellor Street, this morning.
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59. - Came up to me and took your tie off.
- Really? What did I do that for?
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60. I don't know, you just did.
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61. Not me. I was here in bed.
Ask the nurses.
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62. Well, that's weird
'cause it looked like you.
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63. - Have you got a brother?
- No, not any more. Just me.
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64. As time passes and I grow ever more
infirm and weary, Miss Jones...
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65. Sorry.
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66. Right.
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67. I weep for future generations.
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68. Are you having trouble
locating the heart, Miss Jones?
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69. Um, I don't know. Stomach cramps?
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70. That is a symptom, not a diagnosis.
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71. And you rather failed basic techniques
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72. by not consulting first
with the patient's chart.
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73. That happened to me this morning.
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74. I had the same thing on the door handle.
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75. - And me, in the lift.
- Well, it's only to be expected.
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76. There's a thunderstorm moving in
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77. and lightning is a form
of static electricity,
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78. as was first proven by... Anyone?
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79. Benjamin Franklin.
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80. Correct.
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81. My mate, Ben. That was a day and a half.
I got rope burns off that kite.
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82. - And then I got soaked.
- Quite.
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83. And then I got electrocuted!
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84. Moving on.
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85. I think perhaps a visit
from psychiatric.
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86. And next, we have Mr...
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87. No, listen, I've worked out a plan.
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88. We tell Annalise that the buffet tonight
is 100ºxº carbohydrate,
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89. and she won't turn up.
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90. I wish you'd take this seriously.
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91. That's our inheritance
she's spending on fake tan.
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92. Tell you what, I'm not that far away.
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93. I'll meet you for a sandwich,
we can draw up a battle plan.
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94. What, in this weather?
I'm not going out, it's pouring down.
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95. It's not raining here.
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96. God, that's weird.
It's raining right on top of you.
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97. - I can see it, but it's dry where I am.
- Well, you just got lucky.
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98. No, but it's like in cartoons,
when a man's got a cloud over his head.
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99. Yeah, but listen,
I'll tell you what we do...
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100. We tell Dad and Annalise
to get there early, about 7:30,
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101. and we tell Leo to get there
at the same time
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102. so we can do all that birthday stuff.
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103. We tell Mum to get there
for about 8:30-9:00,
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104. then that gives me time
to have a word with Annalise and...
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105. What?
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106. - The rain.
- It's only rain.
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107. Martha, have you seen the rain?
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108. Why is everyone fussing about rain?
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109. It's going up.
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110. The rain is going up.
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111. What the hell was that?
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112. Are you all right?
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113. I think so, yeah.
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114. It felt like an earthquake or...
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115. Martha, it's night.
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116. - But it was lunch time...
- It's not night.
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117. But it's got to be. It's dark.
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118. - We're on the moon!
- Can't be.
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119. We're on the moon.
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120. We're on the bloody moon.
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121. I'm sorry, miss, no.
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122. Oh, my God.
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123. Martha? Martha, can you hear me?
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124. Martha?
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125. Somebody help! Somebody help me!
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126. - Have you seen...
- I'm sorry, I can't.
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127. All right now, everyone, back to bed.
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128. We've got an emergency,
but we'll sort it out. Don't worry.
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129. It's real. It's really real.
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130. - Hold on.
- Don't! We'll lose all the air!
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131. But they're not exactly airtight.
If the air was gonna get sucked out,
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132. it would've happened straightaway,
but it didn't.
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133. - So, how come?
- Very good point!
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134. - Brilliant, in fact. What was your name?
- Martha.
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135. And it was Jones, wasn't it?
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136. Well, Martha Jones, question is,
how are we still breathing?
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137. We can't be!
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138. Obviously we are so don't waste my time.
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139. Martha, what have we got? Is there
a balcony on this floor, or a veranda?
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140. By the patients' lounge, yeah.
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141. - You fancy going out?
- Okay.
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142. - We might die.
- We might not.
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143. Good. Come on.
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144. Not her, she'd hold us up.
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145. We've got air.
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146. - How does that work?
- Just be glad it does.
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147. I've got a party tonight.
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148. It's my brother's 21 st.
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149. My mother's gonna be really... Really...
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150. - You okay?
- Yeah.
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151. - Sure?
- Yeah.
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152. - Do you want to go back in?
- No way.
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153. I mean, we could die any minute,
but all the same, it's beautiful.
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154. Do you think?
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155. How many people want to go to the moon?
And here we are.
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156. Standing in the Earth light.
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157. What do you think happened?
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158. What do you think?
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159. Extraterrestrial. It's got to be.
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160. I don't know, a few years ago that
would've sounded mad, but these days...
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161. That spaceship flying into Big Ben.
Christmas. Those Cybermen things.
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162. I had a cousin, Adeola.
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163. She worked at Canary Wharf.
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164. She never came home.
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165. I'm sorry.
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166. Yeah.
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167. I was there, in the battle. It was...
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168. I promise you, Mr Smith,
we will find a way out.
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169. If we can travel to the moon,
then we can travel back.
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170. There's got to be a way.
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171. It's not Smith. That's not my real name.
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172. - Who are you, then?
- I'm the Doctor.
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173. Me, too, if I ever pass my exams.
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174. What is it then, Dr Smith?
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175. - Just the Doctor.
- How do you mean, just the Doctor?
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176. Just the Doctor.
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177. - What, people call you "the Doctor"?
- Yeah.
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178. Well, I'm not. Far as I'm concerned,
you've got to earn that title.
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179. Well, I'd better make a start, then.
Let's have a look.
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180. There must be some sort of...
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181. Force-field.
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182. Keeping the air in.
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183. But if that's like a bubble
sealing us in,
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184. that means this is the only air
we've got.
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185. - What happens when it runs out?
- How many people in this hospital?
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186. Don't know, a thousand?
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187. - One thousand people, suffocating.
- Why would anyone do that?
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188. Heads up! Ask him yourself.
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189. Aliens.
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190. That's aliens!
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191. Real, proper aliens.
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192. Judoon.
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193. Mr Stoker?
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194. I'm sorry, I didn't know
who else to ask, but can you help me?
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195. I think we've gone
beyond aspirin, Miss...
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196. Finnegan.
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197. Names! What are names now
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198. when something unnameable
is marching towards us across the moon?
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199. Two more years, I thought. Two more
years and then retire to Florida.
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200. But there is Florida, in the sky.
I can see it.
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201. My daughter. She's still in university.
I am never going to see her again.
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202. - But I need help, Mr Stoker.
- I can't do anything!
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203. Oh, I think you can.
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204. What do you two want?
It's a bit late to sign for anything.
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205. These are my lovely boys.
I prefer not to get my hands dirty.
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206. - I'm sorry?
- You see, there are great tests to come,
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207. and terrible deeds.
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208. Some of them my own.
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209. But if I'm to survive this, I need you.
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210. - What are you talking about?
- Blood. Specifically, yours.
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211. What are you doing?
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212. What are you doing?
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213. Will you let go of me!
What the hell? Let go!
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214. You see, I was only salt deficient
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215. because I'm so very good
at absorbing it.
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216. But now I need fire in my veins.
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217. And who better than a consultant,
with blood full of salty fats
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218. and vintage wines
and all those Michelin star sauces?
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219. Who are you?
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220. Oh, I'm a survivor, Mr Stoker.
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221. At any cost.
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222. Look!
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223. I've even brought a straw.
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224. Bo! Sco! Fo! Do! No!
Kro! Blo! Co! Sho! Ro!
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225. We are citizens of planet Earth.
We welcome you in peace.
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226. Please don't hurt me. I was just trying
to help, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me.
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227. Please don't hurt me.
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228. Please don't hurt me. I was just trying
to help, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me.
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229. Please don't hurt me.
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230. Language assimilated.
Designation, Earth English.
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231. You will be catalogued.
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232. Category, human.
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233. Catalogue all suspects.
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234. Aw, look down there,
you've got a little shop.
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235. - I like a little shop.
- Never mind that. What are Judoon?
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236. They're like police.
Well, police-for-hire.
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237. - They're more like interplanetary thugs.
- And they brought us to the moon?
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238. Neutral territory.
According to Galactic Law,
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239. they've got no jurisdiction
over the Earth so they isolated it.
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240. That rain and lightning, that was them
using an H2o Scoop.
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241. Why are you on about, Galactic Law?
I mean, where did you get that from?
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242. Human.
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243. If they're police, are we under arrest?
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244. Are we trespassing on the moon
or something?
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245. No, but I like that! Good thinking.
No, wish it were that simple.
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246. They're making a catalogue, that means
they're after something non-human,
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247. which is very bad news for me.
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248. Why?
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249. Oh, you're kidding me?
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250. Don't be ridiculous.
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251. Stop looking at me like that.
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252. Come on, then.
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253. Troop 5, floor one.
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254. Troop 6, floor two.
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255. Identify humans
and find the transgressor.
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256. Find it!
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257. Prepare to be catalogued!
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258. Do what they say. All they want to do
is shine this light thing.
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259. It's all right, they're not
going to hurt us. Just listen to them.
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260. Witness the crime.
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261. Charge, physical assault. Plea, guilty.
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262. Sentence, execution.
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263. You didn't have to do that.
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264. Justice is swift.
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265. They've reached the third floor.
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266. - What's that thing?
- Sonic screwdriver.
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267. Well, if you're not
going to answer me properly.
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268. No, really, it is!
It's a screwdriver and it's... sonic.
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269. Look.
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270. What else have you got? A laser spanner?
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271. I did, but it was stolen
by Emily Pankhurst. Cheeky woman.
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272. What's wrong with this computer?
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273. Judoon must have locked it down.
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274. Judoon platoon upon the moon.
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275. I was just travelling past,
I swear, I was just wandering.
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276. I wasn't looking for trouble.
Honestly, I wasn't.
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277. But I noticed these plasma coils
around the hospital.
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278. That lightning, that's a plasma coil,
it's been building up for two days now.
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279. So I checked in, I thought
something was going on inside.
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280. Turns out the plasma coils
were the Judoon up above.
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281. - What are they looking for?
- Something that looks human, but isn't.
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282. - Like you, apparently.
- Like me, but not me.
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283. - Haven't they got a photo?
- Might be a shape-changer.
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284. Whatever it is, can't you just
leave the Judoon to find it?
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285. If they declare the hospital guilty
of harbouring a fugitive,
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286. they'll sentence it to execution.
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287. - All of us?
- Oh, yes.
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288. But if I can find
this thing first... oh!
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289. Do you see?
They're thick. Judoon are thick.
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290. They are so completely thick,
they've wiped the records!
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291. Oh, that's clever.
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292. - What are we looking for?
- I don't know.
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293. Say, any patient admitted
in the past week with unusual symptoms.
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294. Maybe there's a backup.
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295. Just keep working, I'll go
and ask Mr Stoker. He might know.
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296. Mr Stoker...
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297. Kill her!
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298. - I've restored the backup.
- I found her!
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299. You did what?
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300. Run!
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301. Quick!
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302. When I say "now", press the button.
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303. - But I don't know which one.
- Then find out!
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304. Now!
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305. What did you do?
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306. Increased the radiation by 5,000ºxº.
Killed him dead.
Copy !req
307. - But isn't that gonna kill you?
- Nah, it's only roentgen radiation.
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308. We used to play with roentgen bricks
in the nursery.
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309. It's safe for you to come out.
I've absorbed it all.
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310. All I need to do is expel it.
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311. See, if I concentrate,
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312. shift the radiation out of my body
and into one spot.
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313. Say, my left shoe.
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314. Here we go. Here we go. Easy does it.
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315. Out, out, out, out, out, out, out...
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316. ow, ow, ow!
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317. Itches, itches,
itches, itches!
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318. Hold on.
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319. - Done!
- You're completely mad.
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320. You're right, I look daft with one shoe.
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321. Barefoot on the moon!
Copy !req
322. So what is that thing?
And where's it from, Planet zovirax?
Copy !req
323. It's just a Slab. They're called Slabs.
Copy !req
324. Basic slave drones, you see.
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325. Solid leather all the way through.
Someone has got one hell of a fetish.
Copy !req
326. But it was that woman, Miss Finnegan.
Copy !req
327. It was working for her,
just like a servant.
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328. - My sonic screwdriver!
- She was one of the patients, but...
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329. Burnt out my sonic screwdriver!
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330. She had this straw,
like some sort of vampire.
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331. - I love my sonic screwdriver!
- Doctor!
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332. Sorry.
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333. - You called me Doctor.
- Anyway...
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334. Miss Finnegan is the alien.
She was drinking Mr Stoker's blood.
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335. Funny time to take a snack.
You'd think she'd be hiding.
Copy !req
336. Unless... No!
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337. Yes! That's it! Wait a minute.
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338. Yes! Shape-changer,
internal shape-changer!
Copy !req
339. She wasn't drinking blood,
she was assimilating it.
Copy !req
340. Prepare to be catalogued!
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341. Human.
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342. If she can assimilate Mr Stoker's blood,
mimic the biology,
Copy !req
343. she'll register as human.
Copy !req
344. We've got to find her
and show the Judoon. Come on!
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345. Human.
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346. That's the thing about Slabs.
They always travel in pairs.
Copy !req
347. - What about you?
- What about me what?
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348. Haven't you got backup?
You must have a partner or something.
Copy !req
349. Humans! We're stuck on the moon,
running out of air,
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350. with Judoon and a bloodsucking criminal,
Copy !req
351. and you're asking personal questions.
Come on.
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352. I like that. "Humans!"
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353. I'm still not convinced you're an alien.
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354. Non-human!
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355. - Oh, my God, you really are!
- And again.
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356. They've done this floor. Come on.
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357. The Judoon are logical
and just a little bit thick.
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358. They won't go back to check a floor
they've checked already. If we're lucky.
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359. How much oxygen is there?
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360. Not enough for all these people.
We're gonna run out.
Copy !req
361. How you feeling? You all right?
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362. - Running on adrenalin.
- Welcome to my world.
Copy !req
363. What about the Judoon?
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364. Great big lung reserves.
It won't slow them down.
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365. - Where's Mr Stoker's office?
- It's this way.
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366. She's gone. She was here.
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367. Drained him dry. Every last drop.
Copy !req
368. - I was right, she's a Plasmavore.
- What's she doing on Earth?
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369. Hiding, on the run.
Like Ronald Biggs in Rio de Janeiro.
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370. What's she doing now?
She's still not safe.
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371. The Judoon could execute us all.
Come on.
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372. Wait a minute.
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373. Think, think, think.
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374. If I was a wanted Plasmavore
surrounded by police, what would I do?
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375. Oh! She's as clever as me.
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376. Almost.
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377. Find the non-human! Execute!
Copy !req
378. Martha, stay here.
I need time, you've got to hold them up.
Copy !req
379. - How do I do that?
- Just forgive me for this.
Copy !req
380. It could save a thousand lives and
it means nothing. Honestly, nothing.
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381. That was nothing?
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382. Have you seen? There are these things!
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383. These great, big space rhino things.
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384. I mean, rhinos from space,
and we're on the moon!
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385. Great, big space rhinos with guns!
On the moon!
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386. I only came in for my bunions! Look!
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387. All fixed now, perfectly good treatment,
the nurses were lovely.
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388. I said to my wife,
"I'd recommend this place to anyone. "
Copy !req
389. But then we end up on the moon!
And did I mention the rhinos?
Copy !req
390. Hold him.
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391. Find the non-human! Execute!
Copy !req
392. Now, listen,
I know who you're looking for.
Copy !req
393. She's this woman.
She calls herself Florence.
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394. Human.
Copy !req
395. Wait. Non-human trace suspected.
Copy !req
396. Non-human element confirmed.
Copy !req
397. Authorise full scan.
Copy !req
398. What are you?
Copy !req
399. What are you?
Copy !req
400. That big machine thing,
is it supposed to be making that noise?
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401. You wouldn't understand.
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402. But isn't that
a magnetic resonance imaging thing?
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403. Like a ginormous sort of a magnet?
I did Magnetics GCSE.
Copy !req
404. Well, I failed, but all the same.
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405. A magnet with its setting
now increased to 50,000 tesla.
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406. Ooh, that's a bit strong, isn't it?
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407. It'll send out a magnetic pulse
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408. that'll fry the brainstems
of every living thing
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409. within 250,000 miles.
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410. Except for me. Safe in this room.
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411. But hold on, hold on.
I did Geography GCSE, I passed that one.
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412. Doesn't that distance include the Earth?
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413. Only the side facing the moon.
The other half will survive.
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414. Call it my little gift.
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415. Sorry, you'll have to excuse me,
I'm a little bit out of my depth.
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416. I've spent the past 15 years
working as a postman. Hence the bunion.
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417. Why would you do that?
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418. With everyone dead, the Judoon ships
will be mine to make my escape.
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419. No, that's weird. You're talking
like you're some sort of an alien.
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420. Quite so.
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421. - No!
- Oh, yes.
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422. - You're joshing me!
- I am not.
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423. I'm talking to an alien, in a hospital?
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424. What, has this place got
an ET department?
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425. It's the perfect hiding place. Blood
banks downstairs for a midnight feast.
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426. And all this equipment
ready to arm myself with
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427. should the police come looking.
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428. So, those rhinos,
they're looking for you!
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429. Yes. But I'm hidden.
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430. Oh, right. Maybe that's why
they're increasing their scans.
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431. They're doing what?
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432. Big Chief Rhino boy, he said,
"No sign of a non-human.
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433. "We must increase our scans
up to setting two. "
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434. - Then I must assimilate again.
- What does that mean?
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435. I must appear to be human.
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436. Well, you're welcome to come home
and meet the wife. She'd be honoured.
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437. We can have cake.
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438. Why should I have cake?
I've got my little straw.
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439. That's nice. Milkshake? I like banana.
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440. You're quite the funny man.
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441. And yet, I think, laughing on purpose
at the darkness.
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442. I think it's time you found some peace.
Steady him.
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443. - What are you doing?
- I'm afraid this is going to hurt.
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444. But if it's any consolation,
the dead don't tend to remember.
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445. Confirm. Human.
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446. Traces of facial contact with non-human.
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447. Continue the search!
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448. - You will need this.
- What's that for?
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449. Compensation.
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450. Now, see what you've done?
This poor man just died of fright.
Copy !req
451. Scan him!
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452. Confirmation, deceased.
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453. No, he can't be!
Let me through. Let me see him.
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454. Stop. Case closed.
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455. But it was her!
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456. She killed him. She did it.
She murdered him!
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457. Judoon have no authority
over human crime.
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458. - But she's not human!
- Oh, but I am. I've been catalogued.
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459. But she's not. She assim...
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460. Wait a minute.
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461. You drank his blood? The Doctor's blood!
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462. Oh, I don't mind. Scan all you like.
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463. - Non-human!
- But... What?
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464. Confirm analysis.
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465. Oh, but there's a mistake, surely.
I'm human.
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466. I'm as human as they come.
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467. He gave his life so they'd find you.
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468. Confirm, Plasmavore.
Charged with the crime
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469. of murdering the Child Princess
of Padrivole Regency Nine.
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470. Well, she deserved it!
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471. Those pink cheeks and those blonde curls
and that simpering voice.
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472. She was begging for the bite
of a Plasmavore!
Copy !req
473. - Then you confess?
- Confess? I'm proud of it!
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474. Slab, stop them!
Copy !req
475. Verdict, guilty. Sentence, execution.
Copy !req
476. Enjoy your victory, Judoon.
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477. Because you're going to burn with me!
Burn in hell!
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478. Case closed.
Copy !req
479. But what did she mean, burn with me?
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480. The scanner shouldn't be doing that.
She's done something.
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481. Scans detect lethal acceleration
of mono-magnetic pulse.
Copy !req
482. Well, do something! Stop it!
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483. Our jurisdiction has ended.
Judoon will evacuate.
Copy !req
484. What? You can't just leave it!
What's it gonna do?
Copy !req
485. All units withdraw!
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486. What about the air?
We're running out of air.
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487. You can't go!
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488. That thing's gonna explode,
and it's your fault!
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489. One, two, three, four, five.
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490. One, two, three, four, five.
Copy !req
491. Two hearts!
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492. One, two, three, four, five.
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493. One, two, three, four, five.
Copy !req
494. The scanner...
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495. She did something.
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496. Oh! The sonic!
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497. Come on, come on,
come on, come on, please.
Copy !req
498. Come on, Judoon, reverse it.
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499. It's raining, Martha!
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500. It's raining on the moon.
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501. Pass me the first aid kit.
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502. I said I represent the human race.
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503. I told them, you can't do that.
I said...
Copy !req
504. Martha! Oh, my God,
I thought you were dead.
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505. What happened? It was so weird!
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506. The police wouldn't say, they didn't
have a clue. I tried phoning.
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507. Mum's on her way, but she can't get
through. They've closed off the roads.
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508. There's thousands of people
trying to get in.
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509. The whole city's come to a halt.
Copy !req
510. And Dad phoned, it's on the news
and everything. He was crying.
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511. Oh, my God, I've been a mess.
Copy !req
512. But what happened? I mean,
what really happened? Where were you?
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513. Eyewitness reports
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514. from the Royal Hope Hospital
continue to pour in,
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515. and all seem to be
remarkably consistent.
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516. This from medical student
Oliver Morgenstern.
Copy !req
517. I was there.
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518. I saw it happen
and I feel uniquely privileged.
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519. I looked out at the surface of the moon.
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520. I saw the Earth suspended in space,
and it all just proves Mr Saxon right.
Copy !req
521. We're not alone in the universe.
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522. There's life out there.
Wild and extraordinary life.
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523. I am not staying in there
to be insulted!
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524. She didn't mean it, sweetheart.
She was just saying you look healthy.
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525. No, I did not. I said orange.
Copy !req
526. Clive, that woman is disrespecting me.
She's never liked me.
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527. Oh, I can't think why,
after you stole my husband!
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528. I was seduced!
I'm entirely innocent. Tell her, babes!
Copy !req
529. And then she has a go at Martha,
Copy !req
530. practically accused her
of making the whole thing up.
Copy !req
531. Mum, I don't mind. Just leave it.
Copy !req
532. Oh, "I've been to the moon. " As if!
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533. They were drugged.
It said so on the news.
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534. Since when did you watch the news?
You can't handle Quizmania.
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535. Annalise started it.
She did, I heard her.
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536. - Tish, don't make it worse.
- Come off it, Leo.
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537. What did she buy you? Soap!
A 75 pence soap!
Copy !req
538. I'm never talking to your family again!
Copy !req
539. - Stay! Have a nice party!
- Don't you dare!
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540. - I'm putting my foot down!
- Make a fool of yourself!
Copy !req
541. This is me, putting my foot down!
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542. God knows you've been doing it
for the last 25 years. Why stop now?
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543. Mum, don't. I asked the DJ
and he's playing that song later...
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544. I went to the moon today.
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545. Bit more peaceful than down here.
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546. You never even told me who you are.
Copy !req
547. The Doctor.
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548. But what sort of species?
It's not every day I get to ask that.
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549. I'm a Time Lord.
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550. Right. Not pompous at all, then.
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551. I just thought,
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552. since you saved my life and
I've got a brand-new sonic screwdriver
Copy !req
553. which needs road-testing,
Copy !req
554. you might fancy a trip.
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555. What, into space?
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556. I can't, I've got exams.
I've got things to do.
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557. I have to go into town first thing and
pay the rent. I got my family going mad.
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558. If it helps,
I can travel in time as well.
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559. - Get out of here.
- I can!
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560. - Come on now, that is going too far.
- I'll prove it.
Copy !req
561. Told you!
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562. No, but... That was this morning.
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563. But... Did you...
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564. oh, my God, you can travel in time!
Copy !req
565. But hold on,
if you could see me this morning,
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566. why didn't you tell me
not to go into work?
Copy !req
567. Crossing into established events
is strictly forbidden.
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568. Except for cheap tricks.
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569. And that's your spaceship?
Copy !req
570. It's called the Tardis.
Copy !req
571. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
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572. Your spaceship's made of wood.
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573. There's not much room,
we'd be a bit intimate.
Copy !req
574. Take a look.
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575. No, no, no...
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576. But it's just a box.
Copy !req
577. But it's huge!
Copy !req
578. How does it do that?
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579. It's wood!
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580. It's like a box
with that room just crammed in.
Copy !req
581. It's bigger on the inside!
Copy !req
582. Is it? I hadn't noticed.
Copy !req
583. All right then, let's get going.
Copy !req
584. But is there a crew?
Copy !req
585. Like a navigator and stuff?
Where is everyone?
Copy !req
586. Just me.
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587. All on your own?
Copy !req
588. Well, sometimes I have guests.
Copy !req
589. I mean, some friends
travelling alongside me.
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590. I had... It was recently...
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591. Friend of mine.
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592. Rose, her name was. Rose and...
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593. We were together. Anyway...
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594. Where is she now?
Copy !req
595. With her family.
Happy. She's fine, she's...
Copy !req
596. - Not that you're replacing her!
- Never said I was.
Copy !req
597. Just one trip. To say thanks.
You get one trip then back home.
Copy !req
598. I'd rather be on my own.
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599. Well, you're the one that kissed me.
Copy !req
600. That was a genetic transfer.
Copy !req
601. - And if you will wear a tight suit...
- Now, don't.
Copy !req
602. And then travel all the way across
the universe just to ask me on a date.
Copy !req
603. Stop it!
Copy !req
604. For the record,
I'm not remotely interested.
Copy !req
605. I only go for humans.
Copy !req
606. Good!
Copy !req
607. Now then, close down
the Gravitic Anomalyser.
Copy !req
608. Fire up the Helmic Regulator.
Copy !req
609. And finally, the handbrake.
Copy !req
610. Ready?
Copy !req
611. No.
Copy !req
612. Off we go!
Copy !req
613. Blimey! It's a bit bumpy!
Copy !req
614. Welcome aboard, Miss Jones.
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615. It's my pleasure, Mr Smith.
Copy !req
616. The Globe Theatre,
containing the man himself.
Copy !req
617. Shut your big, fat mouths!
Copy !req
618. - Mr Shakespeare, isn't it?
- No autographs.
Copy !req
619. Love's Labour's Won
will never be played.
Copy !req
620. Upon this night the work is done.
Copy !req
621. Witchcraft.
Copy !req
622. Impossible!
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623. Hey, nonny, nonny!
Copy !req
624. No!
Copy !req
625. The entire future
of the human race,
Copy !req
626. it ends right now, in 1599,
if we don't stop it.
Copy !req
627. By-da-boom-ba!
Copy !req
628. That's quite good.
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