Doctor Who 2x2

1. The eyes of the world are on Nevada

2. to witness, at short range, the world's most powerful atom bomb.

3. And this is it.

4. Illuminating the Earth with the glare of a hundred suns

5. seen 75 miles away even in brilliant sunshine.

6. The vacuum created by the terrific blast sucks up the sand like a cyclone,

7. creating a sandstorm that envelops the dazed GIAs

8. as they emerge from their shelter.

9. And the world must ask,

10. is this the pinnacle of man's creative genius?

11. In England,

12. Queen Elizabeth II continues to observe the 16 week period of mourning…

13. Oh, it's such a beautiful day.

14. I think I'll go to town.

15. Yes, sirree.

16. Well, me, oh, my. Who might you be?

17. Don't make me laugh.

18. But I declare, you're a stranger in these parts.

19. Who are you, sir?

20. [Mr Ring-a-Ding] Don't make me laugh. Because…

21. And what's your name, sweetie pie?

22. They call me Sunshine Sally.

23. No! Don't give me sunshine.

24. Because I'm more interested in moonlight.

25. That icy cold beam of heaven.

26. Touching my soul and bringing me life.

27. What do you think?

28. I asked you. Yes, you.

29. Sitting there drooling with your buckets of popped corn and caramel water.

30. I asked you, what do you think?

31. This one's kind of silly, isn't it?

32. What did you say?

33. I'm looking at you with the glasses.

34. What did you say?

35. Who? Me?

36. Don't make me laugh. Yes, you.

37. How are they doing this?

38. If you won't tell me, then I'll have to find out for myself.

39. Get ready,

40. 'cause here I come!

41. [Mr Ring-a-Ding] We're going 3D.

42. And remember, whatever you do,

43. don't make me laugh!

44. So, you left Earth

45. May the 24th, 2025.

46. And the one place the TARDIS cannot reach is May the 24th.

47. We bounce off.

48. Can't you get this box of yours fixed?

49. You're a Time Lord.

50. Take it back to planet Timelordia.

51. Oh, I wish it was called that.

52. The name is Gallifrey.

53. Well, then let's go home to Gallifrey.

54. They must have garages.

55. Maybe not today. Yeah?

56. But I never asked. What about you?

57. Who have you got? Girlfriend, boyfriend, other friend?

58. - No, but there is Mum and Dad. - Ah.

59. He works in tax. She's a violinist.

60. Oh, no way.

61. She's in the London Regency Orchestra. She's amazing.

62. - Oh. - My dad's kind of musical.

63. Well, he sings. Well, he loves grabbing the microphone.

64. He's awful.

65. And he makes me laugh so much.

66. And I would really, really like to see them again.

67. Please.

68. This should get you home.

69. It is a vortex indicator,

70. which I am going to call a vindicator, yeah?

71. So, what does it do?

72. We land anywhere.

73. And the vindicator casts out a signal, like a fishing line—

74. whoosh—

75. to May 24th 2025.

76. And we use it to pull the TARDIS in, like a hook.

77. So we must land.

78. We're on Earth.

79. We bounced all the way back to 1952.

80. - It's 1952 out there? - Mm-hmm.

81. - We're in actual 1952? - Except you wanna go home.

82. - So, I'm gonna pop out on my own and— - Not a chance! Out of my way.

83. - I went to sleep in this. - Mmm.

84. - Could it get me arrested in 1952? - No.

85. Belinda Chandra,

86. this is the fun bit, honey.

87. The clothes.

88. It helps if you run!

89. Whoo-hoo!

90. Get in there!

91. This bit I like.

92. Mmm.

93. And it's really 1952 out there?

94. - It really is? - It really, really is.

95. Oh, my God.

96. We moved.

97. The box moved.

98. We're actually here.

99. - Wherever we are. Miami, Florida.

100. We're in Miami?

101. At 4:00 a.m.

102. We got dressed up for no one to see.

103. 1952, that might be wise.

104. Rock Hudson.

105. Good name. Rock.

106. He took it from the Rock of Gibraltar.

107. The most beautiful man.

108. We did him on our HIV training course.

109. And here he is.

110. Big movie star.

111. This time travel thing is so strange.

112. 'Cause we know what happens to him.

113. Poor soul.

114. Oh.

115. Do your thing, baby.

116. Question is,

117. who chains up a cinema?

118. Hmm?

119. Mmm.

120. Those chains are strong.

121. Like they are locking up a wild beast.

122. Hey, look.

123. I think someone's died.

124. Oh.

125. "Come back, Tommy Lee." Come back?

126. It says, "Closed by city ordinance of the Dade Police Department."

127. Uh,

128. "I love you, Christine."

129. More than one person.

130. What happened?

131. Is that it? Is it done?

132. Yeah, that is a direct line back to 2025.

133. We might need to land a couple more times.

134. Triangulate the signal.

135. Then we'd better go.

136. - Is that right? - Yeah.

137. We can go now.

138. Suppose.

139. We need to get inside that TARDIS thing

140. and leave.

141. - Yes? - Except…

142. Oh, my God!

143. You actually want to investigate that spooky old cinema.

144. You're Scooby-Doo.

145. Honey, I'm Velma.

146. And I'm just wondering,

147. 1952,

148. we could risk a coffee?

149. Some people say a boat came in and took them to Cuba.

150. Recruiting for Batista.

151. But the fact is 15 people went missing, sir, all in one night.

152. Three months ago, just disappeared.

153. Actually from the cinema?

154. Oh, I like your English cinema.

155. But the picture house, yeah.

156. Mrs Lowenstein, these folks been asking about the Palazzo.

157. This lady, her son went in there.

158. Tommy Lee. Never seen again.

159. I'll talk to anyone about that boy of mine.

160. If you'll bend the rules?

161. I got no problem.

162. This time of night, who's looking?

163. - Bend the rules? - 1952, Miami. The diner is segregated.

164. No Blacks, which includes you.

165. We're breaking the law just by being in here.

166. But that's…

167. - Oh, my God. They can't— Save it for later, Belinda.

168. Right now, we are busy.

169. How can you say that?

170. I have toppled worlds.

171. Sometimes I wait for people to topple the world.

172. Until then, I live in it, and I shine.

173. Sixteen years old.

174. The kindest boy.

175. He'd go to the pictures every night if he could.

176. Stay and watch a movie three times over.

177. He liked those tales of outer space.

178. Did he?

179. I said, "Concentrate on your schoolwork,"

180. but he'd smile that smile of his, and off he'd go.

181. So, what did they do, the police?

182. Did they search the place?

183. Turned it upside down.

184. Came back and searched it again and again and again.

185. Not a damn thing.

186. Pardon my language.

187. Did they search at night?

188. Don't think so. Why do you ask?

189. Things are different at night.

190. How often do you come here?

191. All the time.

192. I will sit and wait for that boy forever.

193. I thought they'd given up till someone delivered that thing tonight.

194. It says "police box."

195. - Does that give you hope? - It does, sir.

196. Well, let me tell you,

197. hope can change the world, Mrs Lowenstein.

198. My name is the Doctor.

199. And I will try to find your son.

200. Gives you the chills, don't it?

201. Can still hear those old movies late at night.

202. You're not saying it's haunted?

203. Pardon me, missy. That's crazy talk. I mean, he's still in there.

204. Mr Pye. The old projectionist. Reginald Pye.

205. He got arrested, but they had no evidence or nothing.

206. So they closed the Palazzo. He stayed on as caretaker.

207. And every night, the movies keep playing to an empty house.

208. There is literally an old caretaker in a haunted cinema.

209. - Come on, Velma. - Okay, Fred.

210. Okay, stand back.

211. Hello?

212. Mr Pye?

213. Are you there?

214. Mr Pye, I know this is a segregated space.

215. But we just…

216. We wanted to say…

217. Hello.

218. Go away.

219. Oh, no, no, no.

220. Mr Pye,

221. Logan from the diner told us your name.

222. I'm Belinda and this is the Doctor.

223. Really? Just the Doctor, always?

224. - Yeah. - Ridiculous.

225. Mr Pye, can we have a word?

226. No, no, no.

227. Please, please don't hurt them.

228. What was that?

229. - Hello? - Is someone there?

230. Is that tap dancing?

231. Is someone tap dancing at us?

232. Reggie.

233. Reggie, is that you?

234. Ta-da!

235. - What? - What?

236. What a fine and dandy day.

237. And who might you be?

238. I'm the Doctor, and this is Belinda.

239. And who are you, good sir?

240. Who am I saying cut to?

241. I mean, you're a cartoon.

242. Don't make me laugh.

243. You are a living cartoon.

244. With a happy hello to you too.

245. How's it done?

246. That technology is

247. - way beyond anything in 1952. - Yoo-hoo!

248. - They didn't have holograms. - He's not a hologram.

249. Hello. Yes, he is.

250. Look at him.

251. Take a good gander, folks. Ain't got no surprises.

252. You're not celluloid. You're made of light.

253. - Light come to life. - I'm beaming at ya!

254. - This is impossible. - How do you exist?

255. - I wish I knew. - [♪ violin music playing]

256. I'm all alone.

257. Ain't nobody else in this whole wide world like me.

258. Does nobody care about Mr Ring-a-Ding?

259. You got your own soundtrack.

260. Fifteen people went missing.

261. - They vanished in this building.

262. Do you know what happened to them?

263. I appeared, they disappeared.

264. If you solve that mystery, those poor lost souls might come back.

265. What are you a cartoon of?

266. - Are you supposed to be a man? - Don't make me laugh!

267. - You've got a nose like a pig. - Don't make me laugh!

268. And why are you blue?

269. Don't make me laugh!

270. Wait a minute.

271. Is there a reason we shouldn't be making you laugh?

272. And what could that be, sir?

273. Belinda, get back.

274. Trust me, get back. Get away from him.

275. Gee willikers, you're a clever old coot.

276. Don't spoil my surprise.

277. Tell me, who are you?

278. Don't make me laugh.

279. Because it sounds like this.

280. "Harbinger".

281. What does that mean? Who is he?

282. The gods of chaos have harbingers.

283. And I am Lux.

284. Lux Imperator.

285. The god of light.

286. I am the dazzle at the heart of the Pantheon.

287. And the glint in the eyes of the mad.

288. I am the last thing you see before you fall into the abyss.

289. Run, run!

290. Do you think you can escape from me?

291. You think you can escape from light itself?

292. Because…

293. Oh, well done, Reg. He's trapped. He's gotta sing the song. Come on.

294. He's got no choice. He's gotta complete the musical number.

295. I'll get ya!

296. Reginald Pye, thank you for the song. How long does it last?

297. One minute, 36 seconds. But you were supposed to get out.

298. Reggie, babes, please, we haven't got long.

299. What happened?

300. I couldn't stop it.

301. I'm not blaming you.

302. But you play him movies in the dark.

303. He says it feeds him.

304. Mr Pye, he's 2 foot tall.

305. Why don't you just run away?

306. Because he showed me…

307. so much joy.

308. I was married for 20 years.

309. And I'm telling you, sir, you never saw such a girl.

310. I was the luckiest fellow in the whole wide world.

311. And then one spring day,

312. she went to cross the road.

313. And I've been alone ever since.

314. Until he came.

315. What did he do?

316. He brought her back.

317. And don't tell me

318. she's not really there.

319. Because if that thing is real,

320. then so is she.

321. The song has stopped.

322. Well, I wouldn't worry.

323. It's really not much of a chase.

324. Darn it. I was so big when I arrived.

325. I should never have learnt perspective.

326. Are you saying that's a god?

327. It's all a game to them.

328. But the games are deadly.

329. But tell me, how, sir?

330. Did you say doctor?

331. What gods are these, doc?

332. There are forces beyond this universe.

333. And we think we are so clever, but we're like children. We are children.

334. And when these vast creatures deign to look down on us,

335. our entire reality is in danger.

336. Fifteen people.

337. Thirteen, 14, 15.

338. The police searched the building, but they didn't look in here.

339. - What, he photographed them? - No.

340. No, that's them.

341. He's trapped them on the film.

342. The god of light has turned them into an image.

343. Oh, my God.

344. Let me in, let me in.

345. By the hair on my chinny chin chin. Or is that a different cartoon?

346. Reggie, how did he enter this world? Was it on the big screen?

347. Yes.

348. Mr Reginald Pye, are you giving away my secrets?

349. 'Cause you know how flammable old film stock is.

350. What if your poor lady wife just burned?

351. No! Please, please. Don't do that.

352. You will talk to me.

353. And tell me, how did you enter this world?

354. I'm a two-dimensional character. You can't expect backstory.

355. I know how the gods work. You are honour-bound to tell me.

356. Light.

357. The chance of moonlight with reflection and electricity.

358. But if you know so much, you must be the one.

359. Enemy of the Toymaker,

360. decomposer of Maestro, the killer of the god of death.

361. Absolutely.

362. So, how do I stop you?

363. - He's not gonna tell you that. - He is bound by the rules.

364. If I must, then,

365. Doctor, just think, what have I not done?

366. That is a riddle. It is not an answer.

367. I'll tell you what you can do. Those 15 people, let them go!

368. But I've immortalised them on film.

369. I can do the same for you.

370. No. No, don't.

371. Go get 'em, girls.

372. My lovely ladies of the light.

373. Lux. Lux, you want me.

374. - Don't take Belinda. You want me. - No.

375. Roll 'em.

376. Doctor, what's he doing?

377. I think we're being

378. animated.

379. Gosh!

380. I'm all flat and this waistline is impossible.

381. We gotta get out of here.

382. But what do we do, doc?

383. I don't know.

384. I've got a two-dimensional brain.

385. Gosh, I get so scared being with you, Doctor.

386. Your life is terrifying.

387. I don't think you'll ever get me home.

388. What just happened?

389. You were sad, and you became more three-dimensional.

390. Oh, that's it!

391. You acquired depth!

392. Wait a minute. Let me try.

393. I didn't tell you everything

394. back in the TARDIS.

395. We can't ever go back to my planet

396. because Gallifrey is a ruin.

397. - My people are dead.

398. I'm the last of the Time Lords.

399. It's working. I'm more rounded.

400. But what you're saying is, there are no other Time Lords.

401. No one's coming to help.

402. - That's it! - Keep going.

403. And I'm terrified, Belinda, 'cause I can't get you home.

404. And I'm scared in case that means something really bad has happened in 2025.

405. I'm scared too.

406. - Oh! Oh! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We did it!

407. Okay.

408. But we're still inside a cartoon.

409. How do we get out?

410. We're being framed.

411. Which means…

412. if we break the frame…

413. …and get faster. Yeah?

414. And we get fast enough…

415. - Oh, my God. We're back! - We did it.

416. - We stopped the film. - All right, both of you, don't move!

417. Just stay where you are!

418. He's the one. That's the man, officer.

419. I told you, I said he was acting all suspicious.

420. Called himself a doctor, but I don't trust him.

421. Just raise your hands where I can see 'em. Both of you!

422. Don't you dare point a gun at us. We've done nothing wrong.

423. You're inside a space reserved for white folk.

424. Now, I don't know how things are done in the Caribbean, but they're different here.

425. I'm not Caribbean.

426. He's the one. He's the troublemaker.

427. He was asking all about Tommy Lee.

428. I'm telling you, he knows something.

429. He offered to help you.

430. I'll give you ten seconds to explain yourself.

431. This fine lady's son, he went and disappeared.

432. What do you know about it?

433. Seriously?

434. Your continuity is terrible.

435. This is Miami-Dade County, and that is the uniform of the NYPD.

436. Try harder.

437. We're still inside a bloody film.

438. - I hate it when they do that. - Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

439. This is never gonna work.

440. Scrolling up and down does not work.

441. We need to go…

442. out.

443. If we're the film…

444. and that's the screen…

445. - what happens if we… - Push.

446. That's it. I've got you.

447. Oh, my God. It happened.

448. Doctor, is that you?

449. - Uh… Belinda.

450. Belinda Chandra.

451. Like, Miss Belinda Chandra.

452. - How do you know that? - Who are you?

453. We're your biggest fans.

454. Oh, my God. You're real. You're really real.

455. Oh, this is so Galaxy Quest.

456. I knew it. I always knew.

457. Well, I knew this would happen because it was leaked online.

458. Hashtag RIP Doctor Who.

459. Let me get this right.

460. I am not real.

461. My life is fictional,

462. and you sit and you watch me on the TV.

463. - I've seen every single episode. - But I'm so real.

464. I'm completely real. I mean, I…

465. I can taste this cup of tea.

466. And my mum and dad. I remember them. They're absolutely real.

467. - Your mum who plays the violin? - How do you know that?

468. We were watching.

469. Oh, my God. I'm on TV.

470. Go on then. What's your favourite adventure?

471. - "Blink". - Definitely "Blink".

472. "Blink". Every time.

473. Uh, not the one with the Goblins?

474. - "Blink". - I met The Beatles.

475. "Blink".

476. Not the one where I am standing on a land mine?

477. - That was brilliant. - "Blink".

478. What happens in "Blink"?

479. It's the story where you're not allowed to blink.

480. Well, that sounds like an absolute epic.

481. Gotta say, though, this one, this story right now,

482. Mr Ring-a-Ding, it's a bit obvious.

483. The ending.

484. Telling us out loud that old film stock is explosive.

485. I mean, okay. I get it.

486. No, but that doesn't work.

487. We can't blow up Lux because he's made of light.

488. Yeah, but what does he not do?

489. Well, we don't know. Tell us.

490. - No, we can't. - I'm sorry.

491. Oh, my God. You're so annoying.

492. Lots of people say that.

493. But we don't care. Um…

494. 'Cause the thing is…

495. Are you okay? - I didn't mean it.

496. No, we are a bit annoying. I know that.

497. I'm wasting your time because

498. the truth is we…

499. Oh, Lizzie.

500. I'm okay.

501. - It's all right. We don't mind. - What?

502. You're not fictional.

503. It's us, Belinda. We're not real.

504. What do you mean?

505. We don't exist.

506. But…

507. You do.

508. No.

509. We're the sort of characters who don't have surnames.

510. We're just part of the trap, so that creature can play with your minds.

511. But we're cleverer than him.

512. We learnt from the Doctor, so we worked it out.

513. We can set you free.

514. It's time for you to go back and fight him, and beat him for us.

515. - I'm sure that there is something that we… - No, off you go. Come on.

516. 'Cause you better be quick. Up, up. Come on.

517. You're 30 minutes in. Time for the third act.

518. Thanks. Keep watching.

519. - You don't get it, do you? - What?

520. What don't I get?

521. They are not real.

522. Once we move on,

523. Lizzie, Hassan and Robyn will all blink out of existence.

524. You mean

525. you'll die?

526. It's not death.

527. We just end.

528. But that is death.

529. Yeah.

530. But we're not important. It doesn't matter what happens to us.

531. And it's been so worth it just to meet you.

532. We had so much fun.

533. And thanks to you, I met my two best friends.

534. We'll be gone any second.

535. Oh, my goodness.

536. But maybe just now and then you can think of us.

537. Then we might live on just a little bit.

538. Now, go and save the world, Doctor.

539. I wish that there was something we could—

540. We love you so much.

541. They're gone.

542. - Hey, hey. Hey.

543. And they're right.

544. We have to go back and fight that thing.

545. 'Cause maybe your life isn't so mad after all.

546. - Mmm. - Okay?

547. But how do we do it?

548. There is only one more thing that we can do.

549. We stop.

550. - Unpack that for me. - We stop the film itself.

551. 'Cause celluloid, when it stops, it burns.

552. The heat from the projector is so strong that the reel catches fire.

553. So, it sets us free.

554. Or burns us to death.

555. Okay.

556. Right, right, right, right there.

557. - Okay. - And then?

558. I think…

559. this.

560. Oh, my God.

561. We did it. We're back.

562. Wait, is it real this time?

563. - Is this real? - Oh, it's real.

564. - Babes, look, my hand got burned.

565. You all right? Come here. Let me have a look.

566. - I'm all right. - I know, I know.

567. Doctors always make the worst patients, but trust me.

568. I know what I'm doing.

569. I'm okay, Belinda. Okay?

570. Time Lords have their own medicine.

571. Bi-generation.

572. It's left me with a little extra pocket of energy

573. I've been saving just for this.

574. My hospital could do with you.

575. I like it.

576. Whatever you have planned,

577. Lux, I've matched you.

578. Now, let Belinda and Reginald go.

579. But you're the most amazing creation, my Doctor, sir.

580. You have light within you that builds a body.

581. No wonder the gods of the Pantheon fell.

582. Because they were saving you for me.

583. Get him, girls.

584. The Doctor. Light him up.

585. Reel him in, ladies.

586. Let me go!

587. No!

588. The greatest story ever told.

589. Doctor!

590. Belinda.

591. Get off him!

592. Belinda, get back!

593. What's he doing?

594. What's the one thing I never do?

595. Let the light of a Time Lord build me a body.

596. Doesn't every cartoon want to be a man?

597. 'Cause that's what I never do, my lovely friends.

598. - I never go outside.

599. Trapped in the dark.

600. But the great out there holds such promise.

601. I've seen it.

602. The most savage light of all.

603. The glow of the atom.

604. Think of all the fun I will have.

605. The blossom of nuclear light unfurling all over this tiny little world.

606. Bel, remember them.

607. Lizzie, Hassan. They told us. They told us what to do.

608. They told us the plot.

609. But how does that help?

610. Do you trust me?

611. Yes! I'm sorry if I didn't before, but, oh, my God, I trust you. Yes.

612. Then trust me now more than ever because I am a Time Lord.

613. But what does that mean?

614. It means I know what time it is.

615. Now, run! Run!

616. Behold!

617. He means daylight.

618. Ooh.

619. Oh. Oh.

620. Oh, the detail.

621. Mr Pye, I need matches. This whole thing has got to burn.

622. Mr Pye, I've seen your fingers, mate. That's nicotine. I know you smoke.

623. Give me your matches right now.

624. I am real.

625. Mr Pye, I need those matches.

626. I love you, Reginald.

627. Oh.

628. I miss you so much.

629. Find me.

630. Pardon me, ma'am, but I think you'd better run.

631. - No, I know what I'm doing. - I said run!

632. Give me true life.

633. No!

634. Sunlight.

635. Doctor!

636. What have we done?

637. He feeds off light.

638. But the light of the sun.

639. Two billion times more energy than the biggest nuclear bomb on planet Earth.

640. And it is all yours, Mr Ring-a-Ding.

641. It is all yours!

642. I am light.

643. Did you see? There was this explosion.

644. I was shaken right down to my boots. It was like an almighty…

645. What the flip is that?

646. But he's never gonna stop.

647. That's the point.

648. The light of creation.

649. I am everything…

650. and I am nothing.

651. Goodbye.

652. Am I going crazy or was that Mr Ring-a-Ding?

653. But he was made of light.

654. We're 60% water and we can still drown.

655. It's why Lux stayed inside.

656. And we gave him all the light in the universe.

657. And that's what he became. Light without end.

658. So, he's actually a god now.

659. Infinite. Invisible. Intangible.

660. Amen.

661. But that's… that's…

662. Is that…

663. Come back, Tommy Lee.

664. I swear it's them.

665. It's the 15. Oh, gosh! It's all 15.

666. Welcome back. Welcome back, everyone. We missed you so much.

667. - Hello, sir. It's good to see you.

668. Tommy.

669. Tommy Lee.

670. Mom.

671. You came back.

672. I had faith and you came back.

673. Oh, my boy.

674. According to the laws of the land, babe, sunlight doesn't suit us.

675. Goodbye to you, '52.

676. Mmm.

677. And, hey,

678. those things we said when we were scared,

679. they're still true.

680. So, let's go out and face them together, okay?

681. Hey, I don't understand. What happened? It was night.

682. That was three months ago, Tommy. You've been gone for three months.

683. If you want to see a good show, darling, I can recommend this one.

684. Better warn you though.

685. Limited run only.

686. Show ends May the 24th.

687. But… How did they…

688. That was like a special effect.

689. Like from the movies. How did they do that?

690. Trick of the light.

691. Well, I really, really loved it.

692. Though, I'd mark it down to a seven out of ten

693. 'cause it gave away the ending in the middle.

694. And the villain's motivation changed.

695. And, technically, it's puppets that wanna be boys, not cartoons.

696. Oh, my God.

697. We're still here.

698. This whole world is cold, lifeless and dead.

699. We have a body.

700. What are you?