1. - Hold on!
- We are holding on!Copy !req
2. Well, hold on tighter.Copy !req
3. Can you do something
about this turbulence?Copy !req
4. I'm avoiding something.Copy !req
5. Can't get the hang
of these new systems.Copy !req
6. What is it?Copy !req
7. No! It's still coming for us.Copy !req
8. It's a teleport pulse.Copy !req
9. What's that?Copy !req
10. Delivery for the Doctor.Copy !req
11. It's the Kerblam Man.Copy !req
12. - It's the what?
- The Kerblam Man.Copy !req
13. You're just making sounds now.Copy !req
14. Delivery fulfilled.Copy !req
15. And remember, if you want it,
Kerblam it.Copy !req
16. Space postman. I've seen it all now.Copy !req
17. Delivery bots.Copy !req
18. Kerblam's the biggest retailer
in this galaxy.Copy !req
19. I don't remember ordering anything.Copy !req
20. Must have been a while back.Copy !req
21. What do you think?Copy !req
22. Still me?Copy !req
23. - Nice.
- Check it out.Copy !req
24. They even used bubble wrap.Copy !req
25. Doctor, look at this,Copy !req
26. the back of the packing slip.Copy !req
27. "Help me."Copy !req
28. Probably someone's just bored
out of their minds, mucking about.Copy !req
29. Trust me, I've been there.Copy !req
30. Should have seen what we used
to hide inside the trainers.Copy !req
31. What if it's not?Copy !req
32. What if someone really is in trouble?Copy !req
33. Can't hurt to check, can it, Doc?Copy !req
34. Right. Kerblam, here we come.Copy !req
35. Whoa!Copy !req
36. There's the planet Kandoka,
and we're on its moon.Copy !req
37. Kerblam turned it
into one massive warehouse.Copy !req
38. Look at the size of it!Copy !req
39. Must be thousands of people in there.Copy !req
40. How are we gonna find out
who sent that message?Copy !req
41. Halfway across the universe
and I feel like I'm back at work.Copy !req
42. Ryan, brilliant! Come on.Copy !req
43. - What?
- We're going undercover.Copy !req
44. Chop chop.Copy !req
45. Good morning,
workers. Welcome to another rewarding...Copy !req
46. Can you check again?
We just came in from Kandoka.Copy !req
47. We must be on the list there somewhere.Copy !req
48. Not expecting anyone new today.Copy !req
49. Didn't even know there was a shuttle
coming in.Copy !req
50. Do you mind if I take a look?
It might just be the spelling.Copy !req
51. By the way, this is our reference.Copy !req
52. Oh, you're relatives of the First Lady.Copy !req
53. Oh, did she put that?
We asked her not to.Copy !req
54. - Didn't we, gang?
- We don't like to talk about it.Copy !req
55. - Oh.
- Yeah, so awkward.Copy !req
56. We're very private.Copy !req
57. Well, there must be some, erm...Copy !req
58. Oh, no. There you are.Copy !req
59. Got you.Copy !req
60. "Private shuttle landing."Copy !req
61. Sorry, person error.Copy !req
62. Me, I mean, erm...Copy !req
63. Right, well, er, let's get you
on this induction then, er...Copy !req
64. Follow me this way.Copy !req
65. Welcome to another
rewarding shift at Kerblam,Copy !req
66. fulfilling orders
from the human colony of...Copy !req
67. - Hi.
- Good morning.Copy !req
68. Sorry, what's your name?Copy !req
69. Oh, Judy Maddox, Head of People.Copy !req
70. Morning, Les. How are the family?Copy !req
71. Good morning, Daniel.Copy !req
72. My name is not Les, but I acknowledge
your amusing co-worker banter.Copy !req
73. Every morning.Copy !req
74. So much for machine learning.Copy !req
75. Have a great day, Dan.Copy !req
76. - Hiya.
- Good morning, new workers.Copy !req
77. - Is it me, or are they pretty creepy?
- It ain't you.Copy !req
78. Oi, you two. That's robophobic.Copy !req
79. Some of my best friends are robots.Copy !req
80. Well, you're right at home here, then.Copy !req
81. Kerblam.
Fully-automated, people-powered.Copy !req
82. The system allocates work detailsCopy !req
83. based on fitness, stamina, dexterity,
and mental assessments.Copy !req
84. Same model as the Kerblam Man.Copy !req
85. I love the Kerblam Man.Copy !req
86. The TeamMates are the friendly base
of the system.Copy !req
87. They're here to assist and supervise
the organic workers.Copy !req
88. "Organic"?Copy !req
89. Oh, sorry. Listen to me.Copy !req
90. You get so used to the jargon.
Gone native.Copy !req
91. Oh. Two hearts?Copy !req
92. Courtesy of the First Lady.Copy !req
93. Very good healthcare policy.
I don't like to talk about it.Copy !req
94. So, Kerblam is completely automated?Copy !req
95. Er, no, 90%, as per Kandokan guidelines.Copy !req
96. Proud to be a certified
10% People-Powered Company.Copy !req
97. I know some people are against quotas,
but I'm all for that one.Copy !req
98. Mind you, I would say that, wouldn't I?
Head of People. Self-interest.Copy !req
99. It's funny,
I don't normally talk this much.Copy !req
100. Huh.Copy !req
101. Don't worry,
it'll come back online in a moment.Copy !req
102. Not paid your bills?Copy !req
103. Build a warehouse on the moon,
it's never going to be perfect.Copy !req
104. We get the occasional power drain,Copy !req
105. it's down to
the self-optimization systems.Copy !req
106. How's the morale among the workers?Copy !req
107. Oh. I'd like to think very good.Copy !req
108. It... It's my job to make sure
that everyone's happy, er...Copy !req
109. Not that it's difficult.Copy !req
110. I mean, we're all so grateful
to have a job, right?Copy !req
111. We all know how hard
they are to come by.Copy !req
112. No, I hope that people feel
it's a privilege to work at Kerblam.Copy !req
113. Relax as I...Copy !req
114. fix your group-loop.Copy !req
115. Are we under house arrest?Copy !req
116. Oh, no. The group-loops
monitor productivityCopy !req
117. and report back to the system.Copy !req
118. I wore one of these at my last job.Copy !req
119. - Oh, really, where was that?
- SportStack.Copy !req
120. People's Republic of South Yorkshire.Copy !req
121. Hmm. I don't know it, but it's nice
to meet someone with experience.Copy !req
122. You'll feel right at home.Copy !req
123. Yeah.Copy !req
124. Right. Time for the tour.Copy !req
125. Six hundred million products,
10,000 employees,Copy !req
126. the biggest human workforce
in this galaxy,Copy !req
127. welcome to Kerblam.Copy !req
128. Welcome to
another rewarding shift at Kerblam,Copy !req
129. fulfilling orders
from the human colony of Kandoka.Copy !req
130. 10,000 workers,
one little message.Copy !req
131. It might take a while, this.Copy !req
132. The system instantly relays
customers ordersCopy !req
133. to workers in Fulfilment.Copy !req
134. They scan the product...Copy !req
135. and send it down
to the packing stations.Copy !req
136. Product incoming.Copy !req
137. Once it's packed,Copy !req
138. the customer's order
goes on the conveyor.Copy !req
139. Rule number one,Copy !req
140. keep all loose clothing, hair,
and body parts away from the conveyor,Copy !req
141. and never, ever,
climb on to the conveyors.Copy !req
142. Any person found on the conveyor
faces immediate termination.Copy !req
143. This is Final Checks,Copy !req
144. where parcels are inspected, sealed,Copy !req
145. and go down the hatch to Dispatch.Copy !req
146. Through this hatch beats the heart
of the Kerblam operation.Copy !req
147. Hundreds of conveyors, pumping parcels
down to our fully-automated lower level.Copy !req
148. From Dispatch,
our Postmen retrieve the parcels,Copy !req
149. and teleport direct to the customers.Copy !req
150. Any questions?Copy !req
151. Can I do the packing slips?Copy !req
152. Sorry, only purple group-loops
work the packing stations.Copy !req
153. Leisure breaks in the Home Zone.Copy !req
154. Right, I'll leave you
in the capable hands of the TeamMates.Copy !req
155. I'll be checking in on you,
make sure you're okay.Copy !req
156. Got to keep an eye on the 10%,
as my dad used to say.Copy !req
157. Go, Organics!Copy !req
158. He was, er, a bit odd, my dad.Copy !req
159. Stand still, Graham.Copy !req
160. - What are you doing?
- Switching jobs with you.Copy !req
161. I need purple.Copy !req
162. Whoever sent that message
had access to the packing stations.Copy !req
163. That's where I need to be.Copy !req
164. And where does that leave me?Copy !req
165. Hello, co-workers.Copy !req
166. We're so thrilled to have you with us.Copy !req
167. Yasmin Khan, please come with me.Copy !req
168. Ryan Sinclair, and the Doctor...
Great name.Copy !req
169. with my colleague to the left.Copy !req
170. Hello, team.Copy !req
171. Meet you at break time
in the Home Zone?Copy !req
172. - Yes, ma'am.
- Roger Wilco.Copy !req
173. Oh, did I ever tell you about
a bloke I met named Roger Wilco...Copy !req
174. Hey, hey, hold on. What about me?
Where am I going?Copy !req
175. Graham O'Brien,Copy !req
176. a very warm welcome
to Premium Maintenance.Copy !req
177. Not a word.Copy !req
178. Product incoming.Copy !req
179. You two are doing so well.Copy !req
180. - Especially for a first day.
- Thanks, Kira.Copy !req
181. I was hoping for something
a bit less really repetitive,Copy !req
182. but quite enjoying it.Copy !req
183. Product incoming.Copy !req
184. - You're a ninja at this, Ryan.
- This was my life before you.Copy !req
185. Mind you, you should have seen me
when I just started.Copy !req
186. First month, a total nightmare.Copy !req
187. Takes me a while
to learn things physically.Copy !req
188. Get there in the end, but just
some stuff takes me a bit longer.Copy !req
189. Luckily, I had mates who covered for me
in the beginning.Copy !req
190. I was terrible too,
my first week.Copy !req
191. I'm amazed this system kept me on.Copy !req
192. But now, I just take a deep breath
beginning of every shiftCopy !req
193. and tell myself,
"Kira Arlo, you can do this."Copy !req
194. Sometimes I almost believe myself.Copy !req
195. What I don't understand is,Copy !req
196. why does Kerblam need people
as a workforce?Copy !req
197. There are automated
and repetitive tasks.Copy !req
198. Why not get the robots to do it?Copy !req
199. Do you not watch the news?Copy !req
200. - We travel a lot.
- A lot.Copy !req
201. Kandokan labour laws.Copy !req
202. Ever since the People Power
protest movements,Copy !req
203. companies have to make sure
a minimum 10% of the workforceCopy !req
204. are actual people, at all levels.Copy !req
205. Like the slogan says,
real people need realjobs.Copy !req
206. Work gives us purpose, right?Copy !req
207. Some work, maybe.Copy !req
208. - Product incoming.
- Do you want a tip?Copy !req
209. If I ever get bored, I imagine
customers opening their parcelsCopy !req
210. back on Kandoka.Copy !req
211. Their big smiles.Copy !req
212. I only ever got a present the once,
but...Copy !req
213. Oh, I can never forget how it felt.Copy !req
214. Like... Like a little box of happiness.Copy !req
215. Just one present your whole life?Copy !req
216. My birthday last year.Copy !req
217. A little box of chocolates
from Judy, our Head of People.Copy !req
218. Oh, it was so amazing.Copy !req
219. What about your mum and dad,
didn't they ever get you a present?Copy !req
220. Never knew them.Copy !req
221. But I can still imagine
families opening these packages.Copy !req
222. We make them happy
by doing what we do here.Copy !req
223. You have a great approach to life, Kira.Copy !req
224. Thank you.Copy !req
225. That's so lovely of you. Nobody's ever
said something that nice to me.Copy !req
226. Where are these packing slips
generated from?Copy !req
227. I don't know. They just arrive here
on little instruction slips.Copy !req
228. Kira, have you ever met anyone here
who's worried?Copy !req
229. Or needs help?Copy !req
230. Help with what?Copy !req
231. I don't know.Copy !req
232. Someone who's having a hard time,
or got themselves into trouble.Copy !req
233. Word of advice,
the TeamMates can hear everything.Copy !req
234. - If they choose.
- Everything?Copy !req
235. Constant random monitoring.Copy !req
236. No such thing as privacy here.Copy !req
237. Are you from the union? Is that it?Copy !req
238. Just trying to get a sense of the place.Copy !req
239. Well, best way to get along,
do as you're told,Copy !req
240. try not to bump into the robots.Copy !req
241. If you can manage that,
you might end up on a poster.Copy !req
242. That's you!Copy !req
243. Film star looks.Copy !req
244. I got extra credit for it.Copy !req
245. Sent a poster to my little girl
for her bedroom wall.Copy !req
246. - How old is she?
- Six.Copy !req
247. - Where is she?
- She's upstairs. Just had her finals.Copy !req
248. No, she's back home on Kandoka.Copy !req
249. She made me this.Copy !req
250. Lacquered with arcadium.
Outlast anything, this will.Copy !req
251. Including me.Copy !req
252. Actually, that's a bit depressing.Copy !req
253. Hello, co-workers.Copy !req
254. Please confine social interaction
to leisure breaks.Copy !req
255. How often
do you see your daughter?Copy !req
256. Twice a year I splurge
on an economy shuttle.Copy !req
257. The rest of our wages
I put away for her education.Copy !req
258. I do this job
so she doesn't end up like her dad.Copy !req
259. - Her dad's all right.
- Well...Copy !req
260. I was a rubbish husband to her mum,
but I'm making up for it.Copy !req
261. It's tough being away from family.Copy !req
262. Well, at least I'm working.
Unlike half the galaxy.Copy !req
263. Suppose
we've only got ourselves to blame.Copy !req
264. Whilst we were busy
staring at our phones,Copy !req
265. - technology went and nicked our jobs.
- Great conversation, guys,Copy !req
266. but unnecessary talking
can lead to efficiency reductions.Copy !req
267. Why not pick up the pace a little?Copy !req
268. - Sure thing, Basil.
- Thank you.Copy !req
269. He was a pole dancer
until his hips gave out.Copy !req
270. I like you, Yaz. You laugh at myjokes.Copy !req
271. Hmm, antique lamp, section 999-55/7.Copy !req
272. No, not a good idea.Copy !req
273. Not on your first day.Copy !req
274. I'll take that.
You'll get lost in the triple nines.Copy !req
275. - Dan, I'm perfectly capable.
- I know you are.Copy !req
276. I'm just not sure the system is.Copy !req
277. There's barely anything
down the triple-nines anymore.Copy !req
278. The last person to search for an order
down there got the sack.Copy !req
279. Never saw them again.Copy !req
280. I'm not having that happen to you.Copy !req
281. Not on your first day.Copy !req
282. Kerblam performance status.Copy !req
283. Systems currently at optimal...Copy !req
284. Another power drain?Copy !req
285. functionality.Copy !req
286. System online.Copy !req
287. All right.
It's just a glitch, back to work.Copy !req
288. Come on, Kira.Copy !req
289. Re-engage brain, if you can find it.Copy !req
290. Sorry, Mr Slade.Copy !req
291. - Hey, don't talk to her like that.
- It's okay.Copy !req
292. - No, it's not.
- Who are you?Copy !req
293. I'm the Doctor. I'm new. And you are?Copy !req
294. Jarva Slade, Warehouse Executive.
Your boss.Copy !req
295. Well, you've certainly got
the clipboard for it.Copy !req
296. Be nicer to Kira, please.Copy !req
297. How would you like a warning
for insubordination?Copy !req
298. I'd love one!
I could add it to my collection.Copy !req
299. Doctor, don't...Copy !req
300. Gentle people skills advice to you,
Mr Slade.Copy !req
301. Respect goes both ways.Copy !req
302. The best managers, the really good ones,
value their staff,Copy !req
303. and know instinctively
if someone's in trouble,Copy !req
304. or is asking for help.
Now, how good a manager are you?Copy !req
305. Know anyone who needs help?Copy !req
306. Get back to work.Copy !req
307. All of you.Copy !req
308. Be careful with Slade.Copy !req
309. Last week, Zaff got a warning
for leaning on the conveyor,Copy !req
310. - and the next day he was gone.
- "Gone"?Copy !req
311. Does that happen a lot?Copy !req
312. A few have gone recently. Zaff.Copy !req
313. Jax from the canteen.
Chinello from Maintenance.Copy !req
314. And it... It's weird
'cause Looper called Chinello's mumCopy !req
315. and she never arrived home.Copy !req
316. Blimey.Copy !req
317. Scared me there, for a moment.Copy !req
318. You should be in Dispatch,
shouldn't you? Not down here.Copy !req
319. What are you doing?
Practising your lurking?Copy !req
320. You hear me?Copy !req
321. Is something wrong
with your speech circuits?Copy !req
322. Oh, hang on. I'll report it.
Get you back to Dispatch...Copy !req
323. Dan?Copy !req
324. Remember, any problems,
please ask a TeamMate.Copy !req
325. They're on your side.Copy !req
326. Dan?Copy !req
327. Dan?Copy !req
328. Dan!Copy !req
329. You down there?Copy !req
330. Dan!Copy !req
331. Are you there?Copy !req
332. Erm, I just found these.Copy !req
333. They belong to Dan Cooper.
Do you know where he is?Copy !req
334. Okay, never mind!Copy !req
335. Safety rule 198,
do not drink any of the cleaning fluids.Copy !req
336. Yeah, yeah, I've got it now, guys.
Thank you.Copy !req
337. Your maintenance mentor is Charlie.Copy !req
338. Hmm? Oh, all right, cockle?Copy !req
339. Have a productive day, team.Copy !req
340. Happy maintaining.Copy !req
341. Graham.
Nice to meet another real person.Copy !req
342. Charlie. I've, erm...
I've just done the gents, so...Copy !req
343. Oh, I'll just settle for a wave, then.Copy !req
344. Okay.Copy !req
345. Those guys go on a bit, don't they?Copy !req
346. I mean, that briefing
nearly lasted half my life,Copy !req
347. and I'm 310!Copy !req
348. I, er... I saw you arrive earlier.
Wasn't expecting anyone new down here.Copy !req
349. Well, it's your lucky day then,
eh, Charlie-boy?Copy !req
350. So, tell me, how all this really works.Copy !req
351. The moment there's a mess
or a spill, we get beeped.Copy !req
352. There's strict time guidelinesCopy !req
353. on how quickly
we're supposed to get thereCopy !req
354. and how long it takes
for us to clear things up.Copy !req
355. - Right.
- All laid out by the system.Copy !req
356. They check up on us after every task.Copy !req
357. So, even though everything's automated,
there's still an idiot boss.Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. Temporary functionality issues.Copy !req
360. Team nine, please take an emergency
rest break in the Home Zone now.Copy !req
361. So, just to be clear,
you found Dan's scanner, crushed?Copy !req
362. I heard him yell, and now,
there's no sign of him anywhere.Copy !req
363. We have to find him.Copy !req
364. There were delivery robots
like Kerblam Man? Not the TeamMates.Copy !req
365. - No.
- You two stay with me.Copy !req
366. I need you to find out
the history of the company.Copy !req
367. And try and get some plans
of the complex.Copy !req
368. How am I going to do that?Copy !req
369. You're perfectly placed.
No one questions a cleaner.Copy !req
370. You've got unrestricted access.Copy !req
371. Yeah, and a chronic skin irritation.Copy !req
372. Graham,
did you sort that spill?Copy !req
373. It's all right. All taken care of.
Don't worry.Copy !req
374. Er, everyone, this is Charlie.Copy !req
375. Hi, Charlie. Oh!Copy !req
376. - Oh, no!
- Oh!Copy !req
377. - Oh, what am I like?
- I've got it. It's okay.Copy !req
378. - I'm so clumsy.
- Oh, I don't mind.Copy !req
379. Really?Copy !req
380. - Really.
- Just such a butterfingers.Copy !req
381. I love butter.Copy !req
382. Oh.Copy !req
383. Aw!Copy !req
384. - Erm...
- So...Copy !req
385. Bye.Copy !req
386. Workplace crush?Copy !req
387. Reminds me of you when you were younger.Copy !req
388. When I say younger, I mean last month.Copy !req
389. - Funny.
- Yeah.Copy !req
390. Come on.
We're going to file a complaint.Copy !req
391. Dan Cooper has vanished.
Maybe you should call the police.Copy !req
392. There are no police here.Copy !req
393. The authorities, then.Copy !req
394. We are the authorities.Copy !req
395. Kerblam is its own jurisdiction.Copy !req
396. We have responsibility
for all employee welfare.Copy !req
397. Then you better be worthy
of the jobs you're holdingCopy !req
398. because a man is missing
and I don't think he's the first.Copy !req
399. Not if this is any indicator.
This came to me in a delivery.Copy !req
400. What do you think it means?Copy !req
401. Not exactly cryptic.Copy !req
402. Someone was worried
about their own safety,Copy !req
403. and now we're finding out
other people are going missing.Copy !req
404. Who has access to the printing system
for those packing slips?Copy !req
405. Nobody.Copy !req
406. They're auto-generated
during the order process.Copy !req
407. But they're placed in boxes
by the workers in Fulfilment.Copy !req
408. Your section.Copy !req
409. Have you tried working down there?
There's no time to add stuff to slips.Copy !req
410. This was done somewhere else
before it gets to Fulfilment.Copy !req
411. Something is very wrong here at Kerblam.Copy !req
412. And if you two
don't do something about it,Copy !req
413. I might start to suspect
that you're responsible.Copy !req
414. We'll look into it.Copy !req
415. You have my word.Copy !req
416. Mine, too.Copy !req
417. Those words better be worth something.Copy !req
418. And if anything happens to us,
or our new friends,Copy !req
419. or anyone else here,
you'll have me to answer to.Copy !req
420. Too bombastic?Copy !req
421. Felt about right.Copy !req
422. - I kind of liked it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
423. Laters.
Oh, won't be doing that again.Copy !req
424. Sticking with bye.Copy !req
425. Catch me up with this. We storm
into Management, cause a fight,Copy !req
426. whatever happened to being undercover?Copy !req
427. That was before I knew
people were disappearing.Copy !req
428. I'm stepping it up a gear.
Going straight to the top.Copy !req
429. Oh, I bet you were the sort of kid who
liked poking a stick in a wasp's nestCopy !req
430. just to see what happened.Copy !req
431. Don't like bullies,
don't like conspiracies,Copy !req
432. don't like people being in danger,
and there's a flavour of all three here.Copy !req
433. Now, ever hidden in a panelled alcove?Copy !req
434. - No.
- You haven't lived.Copy !req
435. Why are we doing this, exactly?Copy !req
436. We wait until Slade leaves,Copy !req
437. and then we break back
into his office, obviously.Copy !req
438. Oh, talking of wasps,Copy !req
439. did I ever tell you
about me and Agatha Christie?Copy !req
440. So, how long have you
had a thing for Kira?Copy !req
441. How did you know about that?Copy !req
442. That's one of my superpowers, yeah.Copy !req
443. I can detect even the most subtle
of social cues.Copy !req
444. - Really?
- No!Copy !req
445. It's obvious!Copy !req
446. Hey, I don't know, er... It's kind of...Copy !req
447. It's just, uh...Copy !req
448. It's just, I can't...Copy !req
449. I can't concentrate
when I'm near her.Copy !req
450. It's like I forget everything
I'm supposed to be doing.Copy !req
451. Man, have you smelt her?Copy !req
452. Strangely enough, I haven't.Copy !req
453. She smells perfect.Copy !req
454. - Really?
- I haven't told anyone else.Copy !req
455. But I've been on there for a long time.Copy !req
456. I can tell.
Charlie, can I be honest with you?Copy !req
457. I suppose.Copy !req
458. See, you know your way around here,Copy !req
459. but I am going to need
a little bit of help.Copy !req
460. See, because I get easily confused.Copy !req
461. A bit like you when Kira's around.Copy !req
462. And I cannot get my nut
around the shape of this placeCopy !req
463. 'cause it's way too big, but...Copy !req
464. If I had like, a, er...
Some sort of...Copy !req
465. - Diagram of...
- A diagram of Kerblam's layout,Copy !req
466. maybe I could find things a bit easier.Copy !req
467. See? 'Cause without it, I ain't
gonna last long in the job, am I?Copy !req
468. 'Cause it'll take me hours
to get to the next spill.Copy !req
469. I reckon I could get that.Copy !req
470. Our reception
is currently in night mode.Copy !req
471. These artefact cabinets
contain the entire history of Kerblam.Copy !req
472. From the prototype Delivery Bot
right up to today.Copy !req
473. Designs, layout, everything.Copy !req
474. Right, won't somebody miss 'em?Copy !req
475. Ah. Just for show.Copy !req
476. Like you say, we're only borrowing.Copy !req
477. Not like anyone pays attentionCopy !req
478. - to this stuff.
- Yeah.Copy !req
479. And you've got the codes
for all of these, have you?Copy !req
480. The insides of these cabinets
need polishing too, you know.Copy !req
481. Yeah, of course they do. Right.Copy !req
482. Mind if I get a friend
to help me study these?Copy !req
483. - What?
- Thank you, cockle. Come on.Copy !req
484. Nothing to see here, mate.Copy !req
485. Please activate a TeamMate...Copy !req
486. I thought Slade'd never leave.Copy !req
487. What do we think, then?Copy !req
488. If this is Slade's office,Copy !req
489. and everything
in this company is automated,Copy !req
490. - why does he need a clipboard?
- Or a filing cabinet?Copy !req
491. Khan and Sinclair,
the greatest detectives in the galaxy.Copy !req
492. Locked.Copy !req
493. Oh! Paperwork, very retro.Copy !req
494. Now, what sort of paperwork
does Slade keep locked away?Copy !req
495. What is it?Copy !req
496. Oh, my God.Copy !req
497. You'd better have
a very good excuse for breaking in here.Copy !req
498. Your group-loops
told me you were back here.Copy !req
499. Oh, I knew that, but I forgot that.Copy !req
500. That's the problem with conspiracies,
there's so much to think about.Copy !req
501. What if I said we got lost,
ended up in here by accident,Copy !req
502. just as that filing cabinet
weirdly fell open,Copy !req
503. how would that play?Copy !req
504. There were no shuttles
from Kandoka today.Copy !req
505. I checked.Copy !req
506. Who are you? Industrial spies?Copy !req
507. I was being honest with you earlier.Copy !req
508. We got a message,
someone needed help, and we came.Copy !req
509. People are vanishing
and Mr Slade is keeping a running tally.Copy !req
510. Seven people so far.Copy !req
511. According to these notes, it started
four months ago with two workers.Copy !req
512. The next month, another.
This month, four.Copy !req
513. The disappearances are on the increase.Copy !req
514. No wonder people are sending out
cries for help.Copy !req
515. And as Head of People for Kerblam,Copy !req
516. I suggest you're guilty
of some serious negligence.Copy !req
517. Another power drain.Copy !req
518. That's not a power drain.
That's a total system blackout.Copy !req
519. Power's drained right down
to the Foundation Levels.Copy !req
520. What's down in the Foundation Levels?Copy !req
521. I can help with that.Copy !req
522. Charlie, what are you doing up here?Copy !req
523. - Sorry, Judy.
- He's with me.Copy !req
524. And he's with us.Copy !req
525. And they are the original plans
for Kerblam.Copy !req
526. What are you doing with those?
Those are company artefacts.Copy !req
527. - Was this down to you?
- More urgent question,Copy !req
528. if everything's automated
and all the power's shut down,Copy !req
529. why is that robot still active?Copy !req
530. Oh, good question.
Back behind me, everyone.Copy !req
531. Error reported. Error reported.Copy !req
532. - Hey, Charlie, don't, mate.
- No, I can... I can look at it.Copy !req
533. Error reported.Copy !req
534. Error reported.Copy !req
535. Investigating.Copy !req
536. Charlie!Copy !req
537. Investigating.Copy !req
538. - Investigating.
- Doctor!Copy !req
539. - Do something!
- Investigating.Copy !req
540. I'm trying!
The receptor codes are fluctuating!Copy !req
541. Investigating.Copy !req
542. Are you all right?
Deep breaths, now.Copy !req
543. You're safe.Copy !req
544. This has never happened before...Copy !req
545. - ... with any of the robots.
- You're wrong.Copy !req
546. When Dan Cooper went missing,
there were three of those,Copy !req
547. dressed in those Postmen uniforms,
walking the shelving.Copy !req
548. They came after me!Copy !req
549. Well, that... That's not possible.Copy !req
550. The delivery bots never leave Dispatch.Copy !req
551. We'd know. The system would tell us.Copy !req
552. I would respectfully suggest
that you can't trust your system.Copy !req
553. Oh!Copy !req
554. And we're back online.Copy !req
555. But the receptor cells
on this are all blown out.Copy !req
556. Whoo!Copy !req
557. Hey, Doctor, be careful.Copy !req
558. Oh, it's as if the system's
suddenly channelled all its energyCopy !req
559. into this one, single TeamMate.Copy !req
560. The system's attacking us?Copy !req
561. It's like the system's gone rogue.Copy !req
562. Of course, it's gone rogue.Copy !req
563. Nobody would do
any of this deliberately.Copy !req
564. If I ever find out that you're lying...Copy !req
565. I have worked for yearsCopy !req
566. to make Kerblam
more of a people-powered company.Copy !req
567. My career has been about
bringing people like Charlie here,Copy !req
568. people who need a second chance,
haven't I?Copy !req
569. It's true.
She's the reason most of us are here.Copy !req
570. She selects all the workers.Copy !req
571. We owe her a lot.Copy !req
572. I've never seen these papers of Slade's
before now.Copy !req
573. Those names, Zaff, Jax, Chinello,
the others,Copy !req
574. they're active on the system.Copy !req
575. According to the system,
they're still alive and working!Copy !req
576. There are 10,000 people here.Copy !req
577. I can't keep track of them all.Copy !req
578. So what do we do, Doctor?Copy !req
579. If I could get a copy
of the original codeCopy !req
580. I could hack in, isolate the upgrades
and see what it's up to.Copy !req
581. So you'll need Kerblam version 1.0.Copy !req
582. That'd be hundreds of years old,
wouldn't it?Copy !req
583. And I think we can help with that.Copy !req
584. Kerblam deliverable version 1.0,
also known as Twirly.Copy !req
585. I don't think we should do this.
If Mr Slade finds out, he'll...Copy !req
586. Leave Slade to me. Let's just hurry up
before the TeamMatesCopy !req
587. come on their patrol.Copy !req
588. Here we go, Twirly.Copy !req
589. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
590. Quite cute, isn't it?Copy !req
591. It's kind of retro.Copy !req
592. Well, he is getting on a bit.Copy !req
593. I love a bit of retro.Copy !req
594. Kira Arlo.Copy !req
595. Hi, yes.Copy !req
596. Sorry, I didn't hear you there.
I was in my own little world.Copy !req
597. You are an exceptional worker,
Kira Arlo.Copy !req
598. Am I?Copy !req
599. We are thrilled to revealCopy !req
600. you've been designated
Employee of the Day.Copy !req
601. Oh. Wow!Copy !req
602. I didn't even know
there was a such a thing.Copy !req
603. And in recognition of your work,Copy !req
604. Kerblam has a gift for you.Copy !req
605. A gift?Copy !req
606. Come with us.Copy !req
607. Customers who selected
these itemsCopy !req
608. also bought ear mufflers,
pencil sharpeners and cobbler bottles.Copy !req
609. Say "yes" now to order these three
for the price of the cheapest two.Copy !req
610. - No.
- Thank you.Copy !req
611. I have stored your preferences.Copy !req
612. And remember, if you want it,
Kerblam...Copy !req
613. Oh, it's out of juice.Copy !req
614. Needs a big recharge
before I can access the code.Copy !req
615. Maintenance stores everything there.Copy !req
616. That's not a good idea.Copy !req
617. Doctor, I've just had a notificationCopy !req
618. that one of the workers
from Packing has gone missing.Copy !req
619. Her group-loop's disappeared
right off the system.Copy !req
620. Name of Kira Arlo.Copy !req
621. - What? Kira, but...
- We have to find her!Copy !req
622. I thought you said the system didn't
notify you when someone went missing.Copy !req
623. Well, it didn't until now.Copy !req
624. It's like it's sending us
a deliberate message.Copy !req
625. It knows we're on to it.Copy !req
626. Where was the signal last recorded?Copy !req
627. Erm...Copy !req
628. Dispatch.Copy !req
629. That's not possible.
No people are allowed down there.Copy !req
630. Dispatch. Foundation Levels, right?Copy !req
631. Where the power's drained down to.Copy !req
632. Well, how do we get to her?Copy !req
633. You can't, it's fully automated.
There's not even a route down.Copy !req
634. But she got down there somehow.Copy !req
635. You get what you need from that robot,
Yaz, Charlie, come with me.Copy !req
636. We'll find Kira.Copy !req
637. Hang on,
how are you going to get down there?Copy !req
638. I know how these places work.Copy !req
639. Get ready
to stick it to rule number one.Copy !req
640. You did this in your last job?Copy !req
641. Yeah, once.Copy !req
642. - How did it go?
- Really badly.Copy !req
643. Sprained ankle and a final warning.Copy !req
644. Come on, we have to find Kira.Copy !req
645. I should let you know
I have a coordination problem.Copy !req
646. Not super serious, but you know.Copy !req
647. Makes life really interesting.Copy !req
648. And frustrating. And difficult.Copy !req
649. Especially at moments like this.Copy !req
650. You don't have to come.
I can find Kira on my own.Copy !req
651. Mate, that's not how we roll.
Is it, Yaz?Copy !req
652. Nope. We're all in.Copy !req
653. All right. Dispatch, here we come.Copy !req
654. Here you are, Kira.Copy !req
655. Thanks.Copy !req
656. Sorry, what's this?Copy !req
657. Make yourself at home.Copy !req
658. Are you sure about this?Copy !req
659. We'll be safe, won't we?Copy !req
660. Definitely!
I mean, the parcels are safe.Copy !req
661. We're just parcels now.Copy !req
662. But the parcels get wrapped
in bubble wrap to protect them!Copy !req
663. - From what?
- Oh, my days...Copy !req
664. From that!Copy !req
665. Did you ever like roller-coasters?Copy !req
666. - We're gonna die!
- We're going too fast!Copy !req
667. I did it! That was amazing!Copy !req
668. We're amazing!Copy !req
669. Charlie, you're the man.Copy !req
670. Oh!Copy !req
671. - Charlie!
- Charlie!Copy !req
672. We're coming.Copy !req
673. I can't jump down there.Copy !req
674. Of course, you can.Copy !req
675. We both can. Right?Copy !req
676. On one, two,Copy !req
677. three...Copy !req
678. We did it.Copy !req
679. We're not dead. We're totally not dead.Copy !req
680. Right, Twirly, all charged up.Copy !req
681. blam it!
You may also like to knowCopy !req
682. we have a one-hour offer on cushions.Copy !req
683. Cushions liven up
the grimmest workplace, like this one.Copy !req
684. Twirly, hi. I'm the Doctor and this
is Graham, and this isJudy.Copy !req
685. Can you pause all sales protocols
for a bit?Copy !req
686. - Even the upselling?
- Even the upselling.Copy !req
687. You just had a nap of about 200 years.
So your offers are out of date, anyway.Copy !req
688. Without upselling,
my only purpose is delivery.Copy !req
689. We don't need you to do that
either, mate.Copy !req
690. The future is very confusing
for my protocols.Copy !req
691. I serve Kerblam
and Kerblam serves the people.Copy !req
692. Which is why we need your help.Copy !req
693. There are my Kerblam credentials,
my own executive-read code.Copy !req
694. We need you to carry out a task
which may fundamentally save Kerblam.Copy !req
695. I'm only a delivery bot!Copy !req
696. See, now you've made it nervous.Copy !req
697. Don't panic, Twirly. You can do this.Copy !req
698. It's possible that Kerblam
has been compromised.Copy !req
699. I'm gonna patch you into the system.Copy !req
700. I need you to look far and wide
past new upgrades,Copy !req
701. and firewalls and security patches
into the base codeCopy !req
702. that only you can recognise.Copy !req
703. And then you can tell us what's going on
and deliver the information to us.Copy !req
704. Retrieve and deliver, I understand.Copy !req
705. This might tickle.Copy !req
706. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
707. Help. Help. Help. Help.Copy !req
708. - Help.
- What happened?Copy !req
709. Help me. Help me.Copy !req
710. Why are you saying that?Copy !req
711. Not Twirly speaking, the system.
Kerblam. Help me, Doctor.Copy !req
712. Help me. Help me, Doctor.Copy !req
713. - The system sent the message.
- Help me.Copy !req
714. It printed the slip.Copy !req
715. It sent it out.Copy !req
716. But why would the system need help?Copy !req
717. Twirly, what do you mean?
What sort of help? How can we help?Copy !req
718. Help required in Dispatch.Copy !req
719. Help in Dispatch. Urgent help.Copy !req
720. Doc. Look,
they've all just gone down there.Copy !req
721. Disinfection post. Get down!Copy !req
722. Organic contamination detected.Copy !req
723. Initiate disinfection.Copy !req
724. Disinfection process unsuccessful.Copy !req
725. - It tastes like...
- Organic contamination persists.Copy !req
726. Hygiene defences activated.Copy !req
727. - Initiate disintegration.
- Run!Copy !req
728. Disintegration process is complete.Copy !req
729. This... This way! Follow me!Copy !req
730. Run!Copy !req
731. I'm never doing that again.Copy !req
732. So we're at the Foundation Level.Copy !req
733. Yeah.Copy !req
734. Hello?Copy !req
735. Help!Copy !req
736. That's Kira's voice.Copy !req
737. How did she get down here?Copy !req
738. I think it came from this way.Copy !req
739. I'm stupid. Really stupid.
Can you believe how stupid I am?Copy !req
740. Is that a rhetorical question?Copy !req
741. I can't believe
I didn't think of it sooner.Copy !req
742. There's too many things going on.Copy !req
743. To many variables.
My brain's too crowded.Copy !req
744. What is she talking about?Copy !req
745. No idea. You get used to it.
She normally explains in the end.Copy !req
746. These delivery bots
have got teleport circuits.Copy !req
747. - See?
- We don't have to go on the conveyorCopy !req
748. down to Dispatch if I canCopy !req
749. hijack their circuit for one moment...Copy !req
750. - Move away from the delivery bot.
- No, Slade, don't.Copy !req
751. Very bad manners
to point guns at people.Copy !req
752. I've never warmed to you.Copy !req
753. So, tell us what you've done.Copy !req
754. We saw the list.Copy !req
755. The names of the victims
you've targeted.Copy !req
756. What? I'm not targeting people.
I'm recording the missing!Copy !req
757. Oh. So it's not you?Copy !req
758. No.Copy !req
759. Something's wrong with the system,
but I don't know what.Copy !req
760. That's why I had to make sure
my notes were analogue.Copy !req
761. I thought it was you.Copy !req
762. I've been tracking you
since you arrived.Copy !req
763. - We're trying to help!
- So am I.Copy !req
764. But what am I supposed to do?Copy !req
765. There's no one to report this to.
No one to stop it.Copy !req
766. - There's only the system.
- There's me.Copy !req
767. I'm responsible for every person here.
You could have told me.Copy !req
768. I didn't know whether I could trust you.Copy !req
769. I still don't.Copy !req
770. Hey, Doc,
come have a look at this.Copy !req
771. Some kind of goo and group-loops,
why are they in there?Copy !req
772. I think these are the remnants
of the missing workers.Copy !req
773. We're under a vast liquidisation tank.Copy !req
774. Of what?Copy !req
775. You mean, the robots are kidnapping
the workers then liquidising them?Copy !req
776. What I don't understand is why.Copy !req
777. - Anyone got a tissue?
- Whoa!Copy !req
778. Looks like an army.Copy !req
779. Hello?Copy !req
780. Kira!Copy !req
781. Kira! She can't hear us.Copy !req
782. - Let me find the entrance.
- We've got to get her out.Copy !req
783. Why is she in there?Copy !req
784. Hmm.Copy !req
785. There's no access from here.
We can't get her out.Copy !req
786. Complaints have been coming
about the late deliveries.Copy !req
787. This must be why.Copy !req
788. Everything's stuck here,
nothing's going out.Copy !req
789. What's happened?Copy !req
790. Being held back.Copy !req
791. The power drains.Copy !req
792. Fast teleportation hardwareCopy !req
793. with huge reserves of power building up.Copy !req
794. What if the power's being drained
to be storedCopy !req
795. for one huge, simultaneous teleport.Copy !req
796. All these deliveries, all at once.Copy !req
797. To do what?Copy !req
798. You said it looked like an army.Copy !req
799. What do armies carry?Copy !req
800. Weapons?Copy !req
801. But that's not a weapon, it's a toy.Copy !req
802. And every parcel's
got something different in it.Copy !req
803. Almost.Copy !req
804. Except, what does every parcel here
have in common?Copy !req
805. No, Kira, don't!Copy !req
806. Oh, my God.Copy !req
807. Is that what happened to Dan?Copy !req
808. And all the others, too?Copy !req
809. You knew something was gonna happen?Copy !req
810. Charlie?Copy !req
811. He's... He's done this deliberately.Copy !req
812. We need to find the Doctor.Copy !req
813. Tangly bubble wrap.Copy !req
814. Totally innocuous,Copy !req
815. apart from when it's intercepted here
and weaponised!Copy !req
816. Sheets of tiny little bombsCopy !req
817. ready to explode and kill.Copy !req
818. Every parcel, a death trap.Copy !req
819. The workers aren't the targets,
it's the customers!Copy !req
820. Kerblam's trying to kill
their own customers?Copy !req
821. That's the worst business plan
I've ever heard.Copy !req
822. Doctor, we've found you!Copy !req
823. Kira's dead,
and Charlie had something to do with it.Copy !req
824. - What?
- Not Kira!Copy !req
825. It wasn't meant for her.Copy !req
826. The system took her.
It's been fighting back against me.Copy !req
827. Because it knew what you were planning.
The maintenance man!Copy !req
828. Access to everywhere,
noticed by hardly anyone.Copy !req
829. Have you been killing other workers?Copy !req
830. I needed test subjects to be sureCopy !req
831. the detonation forces would work
in such a small concentration.Copy !req
832. What... What?
Charlie, how do you know all this stuff?Copy !req
833. I lied on my application.Copy !req
834. Gave you a sob story
so you'd let me in and you bought it.Copy !req
835. I've studied cybernetics, explosives,
teleportation.Copy !req
836. I have worked for this.Copy !req
837. I don't understand it.Copy !req
838. Ten percent.Copy !req
839. They want us to be grateful
that 10% of people get to work.Copy !req
840. What about the other 90%?
What about our futures?Copy !req
841. Because without action, next time
it will be 7%, then five, then one.Copy !req
842. I am stronger than you.Copy !req
843. I am not going to stand by
and accept it.Copy !req
844. People like me, my generation,
we change things.Copy !req
845. We make things happen.Copy !req
846. Even if it costs people's lives?Copy !req
847. You kill a load of customers at Kerblam,
let the systems take the fall for it,Copy !req
848. erode people's trust in automation,
make people angry.Copy !req
849. Imperfect technology
without a conscience.Copy !req
850. Machines malfunction,
that's what they do.Copy !req
851. No, mate, that's what you're doing.
Seriously malfunctioning.Copy !req
852. I'm not your mate.Copy !req
853. Except Kerblam's system
does have a conscience.Copy !req
854. It's been fighting you, Charlie.
It knew it.Copy !req
855. It sent a message across the galaxy
begging for help.Copy !req
856. That TeamMate in Slade's office,
it was coming for you.Copy !req
857. And then Kira,Copy !req
858. it took her,
knowing how you felt about her,Copy !req
859. to show you how it would feel.Copy !req
860. Because how you feel right now
about KiraCopy !req
861. is how all those families and friends
will feel if your plan goes off.Copy !req
862. I don't care.Copy !req
863. I think you do.
I think you came here with a plan,Copy !req
864. but you didn't expect to fall in love.Copy !req
865. But that's what happens.Copy !req
866. Use it, Charlie. Learn from it, please.Copy !req
867. No! No.Copy !req
868. If that's the price to change
how everyone on Kandoka sees technology,Copy !req
869. then it is worth it for the cause.Copy !req
870. This isn't a cause.
You're not an activist.Copy !req
871. This is cold-blooded murder.Copy !req
872. We can't let the systems take control!Copy !req
873. The systems aren't the problem.Copy !req
874. How people use and exploit the system,
that's the problem.Copy !req
875. People like you.Copy !req
876. I don't care what you think.Copy !req
877. The delivery goes ahead.Copy !req
878. Mass delivery procedures initiated.Copy !req
879. Someone grab that controller!Copy !req
880. - What have you done?
- Mass delivery...Copy !req
881. You can't stop it now.Copy !req
882. Make it stop!Copy !req
883. We are not gonna let you kill
all those innocent people.Copy !req
884. Destination coordinates locked.Copy !req
885. Preparing teleport.Copy !req
886. Doc, I hope you've got an idea
of how to fix that.Copy !req
887. Not enough time to fix it.Copy !req
888. Wait, new idea.Copy !req
889. Not enough time for that either.Copy !req
890. Maybe worth a go.Copy !req
891. - "Maybe"?
- I mean "definitely."Copy !req
892. - Grab the postman's head.
- What?Copy !req
893. Just like Judy did in the office. Do it!Copy !req
894. - Okay.
- Now!Copy !req
895. I need to stop this.Copy !req
896. Does she know what she's doing?Copy !req
897. Some of the time, definitely.Copy !req
898. Oi! Get back here!Copy !req
899. - Stop it!
- Charlie!Copy !req
900. She can't stop it now.Copy !req
901. Those deliveries
are going to be teleported out.Copy !req
902. I'm sorry.Copy !req
903. Twirly, I need your help.Copy !req
904. Sleep mode off.Copy !req
905. Hello, again. Customers
with your current medical symptomsCopy !req
906. - browse blood pressure medication.
- This is important.Copy !req
907. I've linked you in to the new system,
to all the delivery bots.Copy !req
908. And I have a request.Copy !req
909. How may we help?Copy !req
910. Change of delivery address.Copy !req
911. For every order about to teleport,
new address, right here.Copy !req
912. This hangar, right where we're standing.Copy !req
913. I want every Kerblam Man
to deliver to themselves.Copy !req
914. Delivery orders accepted.Copy !req
915. I want every Kerblam ManCopy !req
916. to open the order
they've just delivered to themselves,Copy !req
917. making sure they do what everybody does
with bubble wrap.Copy !req
918. Orders confirmed.Copy !req
919. Charlie.Copy !req
920. Get back up here, please!Copy !req
921. Delivery in process.Copy !req
922. - What's going on?
- Delivery received.Copy !req
923. Doctor, they're about to detonate.Copy !req
924. Charlie, last chance.Copy !req
925. Get out of there, now.Copy !req
926. Opening delivery.Copy !req
927. Activating bubble wrap.Copy !req
928. - Doc, get us out of here.
- And, remember,Copy !req
929. if you want it...Copy !req
930. Kerblam it!Copy !req
931. "If you want it, Kerblam it."Copy !req
932. Kerblam is experiencing
a momentary technical difficulty.Copy !req
933. Our expert engineers are already working
to get the systems up and running againCopy !req
934. as quickly and safely as possible.Copy !req
935. In the meantime, why not consider
a personal mindful moment?Copy !req
936. We're suspending all operations
for a month, pending review.Copy !req
937. And while the TeamMates
are rebuilding Dispatch...Copy !req
938. All our workers have been given
two weeks paid leave.Copy !req
939. Free return shuttle transport.Copy !req
940. And I'm going to proposeCopy !req
941. that Kerblam becomes
a people-led company in future.Copy !req
942. Majority organics...
People, I mean.Copy !req
943. We're always looking for good workers
to join our management team.Copy !req
944. Uh, thanks.Copy !req
945. We're strictly freelance.Copy !req
946. Doctor, can I make a request?Copy !req
947. Always.Copy !req
948. If Dan hadn't switched scanners,
it would have been me in that test room.Copy !req
949. He saved my life.Copy !req
950. I want to take this to his daughter.Copy !req
951. Tell her how much he loved it.Copy !req
952. How much he loved her.Copy !req
953. It's the least we can do.Copy !req
954. Put it down.
It's Kerblam bubble wrap.Copy !req
955. Er, are you sure you want to pop that?Copy !req
956. Let us put the accused to the test.Copy !req
957. - Granny!
- King James.Copy !req
958. We must purify your land.Copy !req
959. We shall not be stopped.Copy !req
960. Arrest the witch!Copy !req