Doctor Who 10x11

1. No.

2. No.

3. NO!

4. Hello! I'm Doctor Who!

5. And these are my plucky assistants. Thing One and the Other One.

6. Bill. Nardole.

7. We picked up your distress call and here we are to help,

8. like awesome heroes!

9. Yeah, we're not... we're not assistants.

10. OK, right, so what does he call you? Companions? Pets?

11. Snacks?

12. Oh, someone's watching!

13. Well, that's quite a good beat, really, isn't it?

14. Maybe we should be moving on.

15. Yeah, and he calls us friends.

16. Ew, Doctor! Think of the age gap!

17. Stop mucking about and concentrate.

18. Nardole, do something non-irritating.

19. On it, sir!

20. Time Lords are friends with each other,

21. dear, everything else is cradle-snatching.

22. Oh, it's a big one.

23. Ship reads as 400 miles long, and 100 miles wide.

24. Big, even for a colony ship. Anything else?

25. Er...

26. Oh, look at that.

27. Finally! It's like supporting plants grow.

28. It's heading towards a black hole.

29. - No... - No, it isn't.

30. It was heading towards a black hole, until somebody noticed.

31. Now they're trying to reverse away from it.

32. Engines are on reverse thrust, see?

33. Um, Oh.

34. It's succeeding. Um.

35. Very, very slowly.

36. Explains the distress call, I guess.

37. So, a 400-mile ship,

38. reversing away from the gravitational pull of a black hole.

39. Are we having fun yet?

40. Mm.

41. Hello? Who's there, hello? Please report status.

42. Oh, hello, what have we got here?

43. You're probably handsome, aren't you?

44. Congratulations on your relative symmetry.

45. Who are you?

46. Well, I am that mysterious adventurer in all of time and

47. space, known only as Doctor Who,

48. and these are my disposables - Exposition and... Comic Relief.

49. We're not functions!

50. Darling, those were genders.

51. Please stay exactly where you are for your own safety.

52. He likes me, so exciting!

53. I'm coming through.

54. Hurry, my stallion, and if I'm in the shower,

55. just bring me some beans on toast.

56. That's... That's roughly human flirting, isn't it?

57. So, why do you keep calling yourself Doctor Who?

58. Because I'm pretending to be him,

59. because that's the whole point of this ridiculous exercise.

60. It's not an exercise, it's a test.

61. - Are you eating? - No.

62. Yeah, well, don't test me, eating crisps!

63. But he's called the Doctor, so...

64. He says, "I'm the Doctor", and they say, "Doctor who?"

65. See, I'm cutting to the chase, baby! I'm streamlining.

66. I'm saving us actual minutes.

67. Yeah, OK, whatever.

68. Also, it's his real name.

69. It's what?

70. Look at the screens!

71. Slow today, Missy.

72. All those screens have been angled to a single viewpoint.

73. But not originally, they've all been moved.

74. Which means?

75. Giant ship, single pilot, but not designed that way,

76. something's happened to the others.

77. Yes. And now it's time for you to figure out what.

78. Uh-oh! Someone else has noticed us.

79. Sorry, what do you mean, it's his real name?

80. Nobody knows the Doctor's real name.

81. I do, because I grew up with him, and his real name is Doctor Who.

82. Bill, she's just trying to wind you up.

83. Chose it himself, you know, trying to sound mysterious.

84. Then he dropped the Who when he realised it was

85. a tiny bit on the nose.

86. Stop teasing her and focus.

87. Is she serious, though, Doctor? Is your real name Doctor Who?

88. Oh, you're blue. Nice, I should go back to blue.

89. Stay where you are.

90. Stay calm. He's very frightened.

91. Deary me, I thought you were handsome,

92. and now you've gone all cross and you're pointing a gun at me.

93. Is this the emotion you humans call... spanking?

94. Are there only three of you? Are any of you human?

95. What's happened to this ship and how long have you been here alone?

96. You're looking very sickly.

97. Two days. Are you human?

98. Oh, don't be a bitch. How did you get on board?

99. Is that your capsule?

100. - Yes. - No.

101. There, look!

102. Three lifts. They're coming.

103. What's in this ship?

104. Super-fast inertia lifts.

105. What's inside? What's coming up here?

106. Things. I don't even know where they came from.

107. One of you must be human.

108. They only come up if they detect human life signs.

109. - What for? - They take them away.

110. So those are the lift doors, yeah? That's where they come out.

111. I'll be right with you.

112. Which of you is human?

113. Me. Me.

114. I'm human. I'm the only one, just... just me.

115. Please stop this! Stop right there, now!

116. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

117. But you're the reason that they're coming.

118. Put it down, put that down now!

119. They won't come if she's dead.

120. You don't need to do this.

121. I can get her off this ship, I can shield her life signs.

122. You know what, Doctor? I said this was a bad idea.

123. Please. Listen to me. Look at me.

124. Go on, look at me.

125. That's good. That's very, very good.

126. Now, do you see this mad woman sitting in this chair?

127. Her name isn't Doctor Who.

128. My name is Doctor Who.

129. It's not, is it?

130. I like it.

131. You don't know it yet, but in a short time,

132. you will trust me with your life.

133. And when I save you, and everyone on your ship,

134. one day you will look back,

135. and wonder who I was and why I...

136. Doctor, this is a bad idea.

137. No, it's a good idea. A test run.

138. She thinks she can be me. Let's try her out.

139. Why?

140. She got us home from Mars.

141. She's a murderer.

142. Enjoying your bacon sandwich?

143. Why?

144. Because it had a mummy and a daddy.

145. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.

146. I pick a scenario, we drop her down into it, and we see how she does.

147. How does that work?

148. Ah. We just take the TARDIS for a spin and we graze for distress calls.

149. We pick a good one.

150. Our usual Saturday.

151. And... what if she just walks out and slaughters everyone

152. just for a laugh?

153. Well, I will be monitoring you the whole time.

154. Me? Yes, you and Nardole. You can be her companions.

155. Oh, nah! Forget it. Absolutely no way.

156. Nardole agreed.

157. No, I didn't.

158. You did in my head, which is good enough for me.

159. Why do you want to do this?

160. She's my friend. She's my oldest friend in the universe.

161. You've got lots of friends. Better ones.

162. What's so special about her?

163. - She's different. - Different how?

164. I don't know.

165. Yes, you do.

166. She's the only person that I've ever met who's even remotely like me.

167. So, more than anything, you want her to be good?

168. Are you having an emotion?

169. I know I can help her.

170. Yeah.

171. Look at that face, he's having an emotion!

172. Yeah. Yes, look at that bit, yeah, he's doing emotions.

173. Oh, leave him alone! Can I take a selfie with you?

174. She was my first friend, always so brilliant,

175. from the first day at the Academy.

176. So fast, so funny.

177. She was my man crush.

178. I'm sorry?

179. Yeah, I think she was a man back then.

180. I'm fairly sure that I was, too, it was a long time ago, though.

181. So, Time Lords, bit flexible on the whole man/woman thing, then, yeah?

182. We are the most civilised civilisation in the universe,

183. we're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with

184. gender and its associated stereotypes.

185. But you still call yourselves Time Lords?

186. Yeah, shut up.

187. OK.

188. We had a pact, me and him.

189. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all.

190. But he was too busy burning them. I don't think she ever saw anything.

191. And you think that if she did, she'd change?

192. I know she would. I know it.

193. You're a bloody idiot. You know that, yeah?

194. Course.

195. She scares me.

196. Like, she really scares me.

197. Ok. So promise me one thing, yeah?

198. Promise you won't get me killed.

199. I'm sorry.

200. I can't promise you that.

201. Thanks!

202. I mean, look, you're human, and humans are so mortal.

203. Cheers!

204. I mean, you pop like balloons.

205. I mean, one heart.

206. It's your most important organ, and you've no back up.

207. It's like a budget cut.

208. You'll try and keep me alive?

209. Within reason.

210. Thanks, mate!

211. What are they?

212. What are those things?

213. You're too late. She's dead.

214. Don't you touch her. Don't you lay a finger on her!

215. Stand. Away. Stand. Away.

216. She. Will. Be. Repaired.

217. - Repaired? - Stand. Away.

218. You can help her? Is that what you mean?

219. Where are you going? What are you going to do with her?

220. Re-pair.

221. Don't try and stop them. They'll snap you in half.

222. When do you bring her back?

223. We. Will. Not.

224. Wait for me.

225. Wait for me.

226. What are you doing?

227. Leaving a message in her subconscious.

228. How? She's dead.

229. Those things are going to repair her, so clearly she isn't.

230. - Assumption! - Deduction!

231. - Hope! Idiot! - Faith! Always!

232. Sir, step away from those doors. You'll bring them back!

233. What do you care, Smurf? They're not even interested in you.

234. Sir, I swear to you, step away from that lift or I will kill you!

235. Don't, you will only make me angry.

236. - Honey, listen to him. - Why?

237. Because if somebody kills you and it's not me,

238. we'll both be disappointed. Now, you! What were those things?

239. - I don't know. - How can you not know?

240. - They're on your ship! - The ship is supposed to be empty.

241. But it's a colony ship.

242. But it's brand-new.

243. The colonists haven't arrived yet, we were on our way to pick them up.

244. A skeleton crew... 50 of us, that's all.

245. It's not empty now, is it? Look, thousands of life readings.

246. Two days ago there was nothing. Those readings came out of nowhere.

247. - Well, obviously you were boarded. - No.

248. Your ship was taken over, it happens.

249. - No. - Doctor?

250. This is worse than I thought. Much worse!

251. 50 of you... taking your brand-new ship, fresh from the factory,

252. to pick up some colonists?

253. Yes.

254. Two days ago, you almost bump into a black hole.

255. What did you do then?

256. We tried to reverse out of it.

257. And you sent a team down to the other end of the ship

258. to reverse the rear thrusters, yes?

259. - Yes - How many people in the team?

260. About 20.

261. And you never heard from them again.

262. And then the whole ship just lit up with all these new life-forms.

263. - Correct? - Exactly.

264. What happened then?

265. Those creatures arrived,

266. took the rest of the humans away... they weren't interested in me.

267. I tried to fight them, but they were too strong.

268. Well, maybe something came out of the black hole?

269. Nothing comes out of a black hole.

270. Nothing boarded this ship.

271. I'm afraid you'll never see your crew again.

272. Black hole. 400-mile spaceship.

273. It's a matter of time!

274. Pay attention.

275. Hello? Back with us?

276. No, don't try to speak, just relax. You'll be fine.

277. Full conversion wasn't necessary...

278. .. though it will be in time.

279. Sleep now.

280. Hmm.

281. Oh, awake, is it? Awake now. Good, settle.

282. Wait for me!

283. Doctor!

284. Pain. Pain. Pain.

285. Pain. Pain. Pain.

286. Pain. Pain. Pain.

287. Pain. Pain. Pain.

288. Pain. Pain. Pain.

289. Pain. Pain. Pain.

290. Pain. Pain. Pain.

291. Pain. Pain. Pain.

292. Pain. Pain. Pain.

293. Pain. Pain. Pain.

294. Pain. Pain. Pain.

295. Pain.

296. Who's making all that noise?

297. Who is it?

298. Pain. Pain. Pain.

299. Right, what's the matter with you, hmm, making all that fuss?

300. Pain. Pain.

301. Let's see now.

302. Pain. Pain. Pain.

303. Pain...

304. That's better, isn't it?

305. Right, then, Mr Razor, might as well do the rounds, now I'm here.

306. Rounds, yes, it is. Rounds, good, yes.

307. Pain. Pain.

308. Pain. Pain. Pain.

309. - Sorry, mate. Really sorry. - Pain.

310. Kill. Me. Kill. Me.

311. Kill. Me. Kill...

312. Sorry, sorry.

313. This way, Mr Razor, look sharp!

314. Would you like some tea?

315. This way, this way.

316. What about him?

317. - It's all right. They don't feel pain. - I think they do.

318. Yes, they do.

319. So, why did you say they don't?

320. It was a clever lie, but you see straight through me.

321. Come, tea, this way.

322. What are those things?

323. People, people, people, people, they're people.

324. What are you doing to them?

325. Curing them.

326. Come.

327. Psst!

328. In here.

329. Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?

330. What's the difference?

331. I call one good, one bad.

332. Er, I'll take the good one.

333. Excellent, positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.

334. What horror?

335. Mainly the tea.

336. Where am I?

337. Hospital.

338. Yeah, but where?

339. The ship. You are on the ship.

340. I was on a ship, yeah, but it wasn't like this.

341. You were at top of the ship and now you are at bottom.

342. Ship, top, bottom, see?

343. Yes.

344. How did I get here?

345. You were sick, very sick.

346. Broken. Heart broken... new heart.

347. Good, is it?

348. I... haven't dared look yet.

349. Is good, is very good. Shiny.

350. You can carry it off. Not everybody can.

351. For some people, it all goes a bit, you know...

352. What?

353. Vending machine.

354. Drink it while it is very hot... the pain will disguise the taste.

355. Thanks.

356. How long have I been here?

357. Oh, weeks. Many weeks.

358. Maybe months.

359. God.

360. Is good... you get strong.

361. But I came here with people... my friends.

362. Oh.

363. They don't look so bad.

364. That's them, that's my friends.

365. I know. I make picture for you.

366. You like?

367. Where are they now? Are they ok?

368. Well, they're fine. Look at them.

369. Yeah, but are they ok now?

370. That is now. That is right now, that is them.

371. - Is live. - Yeah, but... the picture, it's frozen.

372. No.

373. Yeah, it is, they're not moving. Look at them.

374. They are at top of ship.

375. Top of ship very slow.

376. We are at bottom. Bottom much faster.

377. Very fast bottom.

378. Yeah, I don't understand.

379. So you don't know?

380. About what?

381. Short version... because of the black hole,

382. time is moving faster at this end of the ship than the other.

383. It's all about gravity.

384. Gravity slows down time.

385. The closer you are to the source of gravity, the slower time will move.

386. If you're standing in your garden,

387. your head is travelling faster through time than your feet.

388. Don't they teach you this stuff at space school?

389. See he's raising that eyebrow? That's his sarcasm face,

390. he's making a joke.

391. He's been raising that eyebrow for a week.

392. So when are you going to tell me?

393. - Tell you what? - How I can get back up there.

394. I already told you. You can't leave here.

395. I'm sorry.

396. What are you doing in here?

397. She works for me now... we agreed.

398. Everyone here works for me!

399. There's a floor out there, needs cleaning.

400. Running all the way!

401. I know you dream of leaving.

402. No, me? Never.

403. This is your heart now. Outside this hospital, it will stop working.

404. Woh! It's a good thing you've got all those locks, then,

405. in case I accidently wander off.

406. Yeah... better get mopping.

407. Don't change the channel.

408. A week, raising his eyebrow... why would I change?

409. Space school? I'm basically the janitor.

410. That's a good job. But you've got to concentrate more.

411. Now, listen.

412. He's going to do an explanation. That always takes a while.

413. The months will fly by.

414. A black hole isn't just any old gravity. It's Superman gravity.

415. You really want to slow down time, park next to one of these guys.

416. Trouble is, one end of the ship is closer to the Superman gravity

417. than the other.

418. Wait for me.

419. How much longer, Doctor?

420. How many more years?

421. But what about these life forms... what are they?

422. Where did they come from? How can there be so many?

423. Those are the descendants of your crewmates.

424. Two days for you, generations for them.

425. - What are these... What? - Look.

426. What kind of treatment is that?

427. Why won't you ever explain?

428. I do explain. They are the special patients.

429. When do those bag things come off their heads?

430. They don't.

431. They don't?

432. Conversion is permanent.

433. Why?

434. We are dying. All of us on this ship, dying.

435. They are the cure.

436. They are the future.

437. Die. Me. Die. Me.

438. Die. Me.

439. To survive, they are what we must all become.

440. I will show you.

441. Where are we going?

442. Outside. You always want to go outside. We go outside.

443. Wait for me! Wait for me.

444. Everyone looks so sick.

445. This was a good place once,

446. hundreds of years ago, when the settlers first came here,

447. but this ship is old, everything is dying.

448. Our world is rust, our air is engine fumes.

449. So we must evolve to survive, but evolution is not fast enough.

450. The special patients, they are strong.

451. Soon we will all be upgraded like them.

452. They're in pain.

453. The pain will be cured. And the exodus will begin.

454. Exodus?

455. Operation Exodus.

456. We will leave this city, we will climb up through this ship,

457. and we will take command.

458. Well, you could just go up right now.

459. We have to be strong.

460. There are lifts.

461. There are many dangers.

462. I've been up there, there's a friend of mine, he could help.

463. You do not understand the dangers.

464. Many years ago, there was an expedition... to floor 507,

465. the largest of the solar farms.

466. And?

467. Silence.

468. They never came back.

469. There is something up there. And we must be strong.

470. Return to the hospital.

471. - I don't... - You see, my dear.

472. You must be strong to leave the hospital.

473. And you will be soon. Very soon.

474. Return to the hospital.

475. Sorry, pressed for time.

476. That was good.

477. Venusian Akido.

478. I thought you needed four arms for Venusian?

479. I've got hidden talents, as well as hidden arms.

480. But it's been ten minutes,

481. so she must have been down

482. - there for years. - Yeah.

483. We can take the TARDIS, go back and get it right.

484. This close to a black hole,

485. we'll never be able to pilot her accurately.

486. Do you think they're coming down here?

487. Because if they are, where does that lift arrive?

488. Just asking.

489. You are dear to me.

490. You are my dearest person.

491. - You are like... - I know.

492. ..a mother to me.

493. Definitely not a mother.

494. Or an aunt.

495. No.

496. But this question you must not ask.

497. Why not?

498. Because if you do, I think I might tell you.

499. Ah, sorry, mate. Guess what I'm about to do.

500. Do not. Do not do this.

501. I'm going to ask you again.

502. When you hug me...

503. ..it hurts my heart.

504. Ah, sweet.

505. No, your chest unit. It digs right in.

506. Are you sure about the mask?

507. - Is burgling mask. - Why?

508. Just in case.

509. - In case of what? - Shh!

510. But it's locked.

511. Where did you get that?

512. I have burglary skills.

513. They don't let just anyone wear a mask like this, you know.

514. It's got your name on the label.

515. I also have key to operating theatre.

516. I clean up on Wednesdays.

517. It's all right.

518. It's just, you know... work-in-progress.

519. So, these lifts, where do we find them?

520. It's through there somewhere.

521. Oh, I like the hat!

522. I'm going to ask for a hat when it's my turn.

523. Your turn?

524. No, actually.

525. I'm afraid, Miss Potts, it's your turn.

526. Thank you for bringing her, Mr Razor.

527. Ah, you see through my clever disguise. Stupid thing.

528. You didn't. Please, tell me you didn't.

529. Is for your own good, make you strong. Ready for the exodus.

530. I'm sorry about the deception... it's best to get people in here

531. without them knowing why.

532. We don't want screaming in the main part of the hospital.

533. Don't you touch me! Don't you lay a finger on me!

534. This unit of yours won't last forever you know...

535. you need the full upgrade.

536. You're not going to turn me into one of those things.

537. I'm rebuilding you to survive in a world not made for flesh.

538. Look at them. They're screaming in pain, alive.

539. But we've got something for that now.

540. This won't stop you feeling pain, but...

541. ..it will stop you caring about it.

542. It fits over your head.

543. Ok, you two, welcome to a new time zone.

544. Not knowing the differential,

545. I don't know how much time has passed here.

546. Right, we need to find out more about this ship.

547. On it.

548. No, Missy, you do it. Nardole, you come with me.

549. But I'm the computer guy, that's always me.

550. Sorry, she's cleverer.

551. She's more evil.

552. - Same thing. - Really isn't.

553. Oh, it is a little bit... a little bit the same.

554. Anyway...

555. - Yes, thank you. - Nardole!

556. Hello.

557. Hello, ordinary person.

558. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet.

559. I'm really trying not to kill anyone today, but it would be

560. tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.

561. I have been so looking forward to meeting you.

562. Right, I'm very happy for you.

563. I was watching you on the screen,

564. it took me a while to work out who you were.

565. Oh, there's always a scary thing with you, isn't there?

566. Are you only getting that now?

567. Oh, this is super interesting.

568. I assumed this ship was from Earth, full of squishable little humans,

569. but it's not from Earth at all, is it?

570. You don't remember me, do you?

571. Looks like an Earth-like planet, but not Earth itself. Very Earth-like.

572. If planets had twins...

573. You don't remember being here before, do you?

574. I've never been here before.

575. Will you please stop wittering on or I'll have to splat your brains

576. - for finger paint? - Oh, you have been here before.

577. You really can trust me on that.

578. Planet, planet, which planet...?

579. There's a lot of genetics, bio-engineering.

580. Lot of stuff about something called Exodus

581. Operation Exodus.

582. Look at that! This ship is from Mondas!

583. It's a Cyberman. A Mondasian Cyberman!

584. - Doctor! - "Doctor! Oh, Doctor! Doctor!"

585. Ok, listen to me.

586. I may be about to take that silly little gun away from you...

587. He'll never forgive you, you know, he'll never set you free.

588. Not when he discovers what you did to his little friend.

589. I haven't done anything to his silly little friend.

590. Oh, but I'm afraid you did...

591. ..a long time ago.

592. You're brand-new.

593. Fresh out the factory... you're not ready for a fight yet.

594. He does looks a little bit ready.

595. Bill Potts. Do you know where she is?

596. - Where is Bill Potts? - Doc... tor.

597. You know me.

598. You are Doc... tor.

599. Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?

600. Would it help you focus if I extracted some of your vital organs

601. and made a lovely soup?

602. You would never be so... self-destructive.

603. So what?

604. But then again...

605. neither would I.

606. Listen. We mean you no harm. We're just passing through.

607. We're looking for Bill Potts, friend of mine.

608. Bill Potts.

609. Yes, Bill Potts.

610. You're a Cyberman, you're part of a neural net... can you find her?

611. I love disguises.

612. Do you still like disguises?

613. Of course, they are rather necessary when you happen to be

614. someone's former Prime Minister.

615. Accessing...

616. Get back from it.

617. Bill Potts. Locating...

618. Bill Potts.

619. I am Bill Potts.

620. Hello, Missy. I'm the Master, and I'm very worried about my future.

621. Give us a kiss!

622. Bill? Bill, talk to me. What have they done to you?

623. It's Operation Exodus, whatever that is.

624. Oh, wrong name for a start.

625. I... waited.

626. This is not an exodus, is it?

627. More of a beginning, really, isn't it?

628. I waited.

629. In fact, do you know what I'd call it?

630. I'd call it a genesis.

631. You've met the ex?

632. Specifically, the Genesis of the Cybermen.

633. I waited for you.