1. - Boy, what a day.
- Yeah, I'm beat.
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2. - I wanna go home and die.
- Yeah, good night, guys.
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3. - Hold it!
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4. And where do you think
you're going,
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5. you walking mounds of refuse?
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6. Home, sir. The whistle blew.
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7. The whistle? That wasn't
the "time to go home" whistle,
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8. you leaky bucket
of animal droppings.
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9. That was the
"keep working or I'll fire your lazy butts" whistle.
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10. You're all pulling
overtime tonight.
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11. - Overtime, sir?
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12. Well, not technically overtime
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13. since we're not
paying anything extra.
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14. You might prefer to think of it
as pro bono work.
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15. - Watch out!
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16. - Oh... Oh...
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17. - Uh, excuse me, are you a tree?
- Uh, no, it's me, pally-boy.
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18. Oh, good.
I can't see a thing.
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19. I just pushed down Gus and
sent him through the mulcher.
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20. - Heads up!
- Whoa.
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21. It's madness!
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22. - Absolute madness!
- Hiya, Sid.
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23. Hey, you know, Earl,
I'm thinking...
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24. A bunch of exhausted guys
pushing down trees in the dark...
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25. Maybe this company hasn't got
our best interests at heart.
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26. - Hey, bite your tongue, Roy.
- Mmm.
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27. This company loves us.
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28. We are its children
and it watches over us
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29. like a caring,
if somewhat abusive, parent.
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30. Oh, I never
thought of it that way.
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31. Thanks for
renewing my faith...
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32. - ... in monolithic corporations.
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33. - Hey!
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34. Um, Earl...
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35. Uh... Where'd you go?
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36. I'm over here, Roy,
under this tree.
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37. Uh, under the tree?
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38. Boy, that must hurt.
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39. Now that
you mention it...
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40. Honey, I'm home.
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41. Aaah!
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42. - Ohh!
- Ow!
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43. - Ow!
- Ooh!
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44. Aah!
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45. - Careful.
- I'm fine!
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46. Let me help you.
Dad, come on.
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47. I don't need any help.
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48. Get my lunchbox, Fran.
I'm late for work.
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49. Earl, are you crazy?
You are not going to work today.
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50. You were nearly killed
by a tree last night.
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51. Oh, let's not be overly
dramatic. It's almost nothing.
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52. Hardly a scratch.
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53. Your foot is broken
in three places.
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54. And if I don't
turn up for work,
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55. Mr. Richfield will break it
in three mo... Ow!
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56. Now, please get out
of my way, Fran.
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57. Earl Sneed Sinclair,
who are you more afraid of?
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58. - Mr. Richfield or me?
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59. - this is Earl Sinclair.
- Sinclair?
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60. You mean to tell me
I had to extend my arm
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61. and raise an object to my face
to speak to you?
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62. I'm sorry for
the inconvenience, sir.
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63. Uh, I won't
be able to come in today.
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64. As you might recall,
a tree fell on me last night,
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65. powdering the bones in my foot.
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66. Oh, I am so, so sorry.
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67. - Come on, come on.
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68. Uh, Mr. Richfield... Uh...
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69. I may need a few weeks off
to heal, sir.
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70. Why, of course, Sinclair.
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71. Take as much time
as you need.
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72. - You mean... I'm excused?
- No... I mean you're fired!
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73. What use do I have for a whiny,
one-footed tree pusher?
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74. Now come on in
and clean out your desk.
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75. I don't have a desk.
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76. Well, come on in
and clean out mine.
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77. And you can scrub my toilet
while you're at it.
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78. You're fired!
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79. Fired! Fired!
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80. Fired!
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81. Oh. Uh...
That actually went pretty well.
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82. It's not right. He shouldn't be
allowed to treat you like that.
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83. I'm with Mom. When someone
gets injured at work,
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84. they shouldn't
lose their job.
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85. The company should have a
program providing for the worker
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86. until he or she is ready
to go back to work.
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87. Oh, sure.
While they're at it,
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88. they can hand out
beads and hold a love-in.
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89. It's time you learned,
Mr. Beatnik,
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90. that the world
is a brutal place.
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91. No employer's gonna pay me
if I don't go to work.
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92. How are you
supposed to survive?
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93. That's not their concern.
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94. This is gonna be
expensive, Earl.
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95. Months out of work
and doctor bills coming in.
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96. Right now we need
at least 800 dollars.
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97. Where will we
come up with that?
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98. We should demand
that they pay.
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99. We should take
Wesayso to court.
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100. What? Ow! Oh...
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101. - Sue the company?
- Come on, Dad.
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102. Just enough to
cover your expenses.
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103. - No way!
- What are you afraid of?
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104. Mr. Richfield's already fired
you. What more could he do?
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105. You show a startling
lack of imagination.
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106. - We are not going to court,
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107. - and that is final.
- OK. Fine.
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108. - Good.
- But...
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109. Since you're gonna be home
from work tomorrow anyway...
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110. Uh, how about if we
go to the movies?
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111. - Aah! Earl.
- The movies?
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112. - Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.
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113. Yeah, sure. I'm up for that.
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114. But let's have no more talk
about going to court.
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115. Yep, nothing like
a weekday matinee
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116. to take your mind
off your problems.
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117. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
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118. Thanks, Dad,
for taking us to the movies.
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119. All rise for the case
of Earl Sinclair versus Wesayso.
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120. A courtroom!
Hey, you tricked me.
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121. - And I spilled my drink.
- Order in the court.
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122. You there, take your seat.
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123. Your Honor, I object
on the grounds
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124. that you were
supposed to be a movie.
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125. Who are you?
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126. - Who filed this case, anyway?
- I did, Your Honor.
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127. Uh, Robert Sinclair,
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128. filing on behalf of my father,
the injured party.
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129. - I'm perfectly all right... Ow!
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130. Uh, this is
a personal injury suit
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131. against the Wesayso Company
for 800 dollars.
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132. Uh, a tree
fell on him at work.
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133. It was all
my own fault.
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134. I wanted them
to drop it on me.
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135. I asked them to.
I begged them.
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136. I see. And who here is speaking
for the Wesayso Company?
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137. I believe, Your Honor,
that would be me.
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138. - Earl? Honey?
- Uh...
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139. I'd like to take
this opportunity
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140. to call my first witness.
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141. So I told Mr. Richfield
that Earl was under a tree,
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142. and we needed some guys
to help lift it off him.
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143. Hmm. And how
did he respond?
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144. He said we should
wait another hour
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145. and rescue him
on our break.
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146. Wasn't he even
the least bit concerned?
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147. Well, he did ask about
the condition of the tree.
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148. - Uh-huh.
- Why you little...
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149. - The jury's watching.
- I know!
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150. - Hi.
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151. - No further questions.
- Hmm.
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152. Now, Mr. Hess, did you
actually see this alleged tree
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153. fall on Mr. Sinclair?
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154. Well, yeah... No...
It was very dark.
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155. So how do you know
this is how he broke his foot?
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156. Maybe he injured it
on the ski slopes
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157. while wintering
at some fabulous resort.
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158. Oh, I don't think so.
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159. Earl wouldn't go wintering
without telling me.
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160. - We're pals.
- Oh, you're pals, huh?
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161. Tell me, Roy,
are you close enough pals
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162. that you might tell a lie
to help your friend?
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163. Sure.
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164. Close enough pals
that you'd conspire with him
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165. in constructing an elaborate
scam to discredit his boss
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166. and defraud the
Wesayso Corporation?
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167. - Uh, uh... Um, um...
- Let's face it, Mr. Hess.
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168. You're a liar!
You wouldn't recognize the truth
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169. if it landed on you like
a big tree. Would you? Huh?
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170. - Would you Mr. Hess?
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171. If, indeed,
that is your real name!
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172. Oh, my stomach hurts.
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173. Mr. Judge,
could I be excused now?
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174. Yes.
Yes, step down.
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175. I tried to dissuade him
from going out that night.
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176. "Earl", I said,
"Go home and rest."
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177. - Hmm.
- He's like a son to me, really.
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178. And how did he respond to
your overtures of kindness?
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179. Oh, he was belligerent.
I couldn't stop him.
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180. Of course, I've counseled him
many times about his drinking.
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181. - I see.
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182. Well, it's clear, sir,
you did all you could.
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183. Your witness.
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184. Mr. Richfield...
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185. Hmm?
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186. Do you actually expect
anyone here to believe
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187. - you're a cuddly...
- No further questions!
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188. Uh... Uh, yeah.
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189. OK. Uh, I think
that's enough for now.
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190. Hmm.
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191. I don't know
what all the fuss is about.
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192. My foot feels better than ever.
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193. Oh, sure, it bends in a couple
of extra places, but, uh...
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194. - ... I see that as a bonus.
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195. Does this alleged injury
prevent you from doing
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196. the normal things
you otherwise like to do?
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197. Oh, only a few minor things:
Golf, bowling...
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198. - ... taking my kid for a walk.
- That's right.
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199. - What? Who's that?
- Over here.
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200. Daddy was supposed to
take me for a walk.
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201. Then he said,
"No." His foot hurt.
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202. - Now... I'm sad.
- Aww...
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203. - Hmm?
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204. Uh, um, I... I've heard enough.
Uh, no further questions.
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205. Uh, if I may, Your Honor, I'd
like to call my final witness.
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206. And you like to
go to the park?
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207. Oh, yeah!
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208. It's my bestest, funnest,
most favoritest thing.
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209. - Aww...
- Huh?
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210. But, now,
Daddy can't take me.
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211. He has a bad boo-boo.
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212. I want Daddy
to be all better...
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213. - Aww.
- I love my Daddy.
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214. Your Honor, I rest my case.
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215. Mr. Foreman, has
the jury reached its verdict?
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216. We have,
Your Honor.
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217. - Hmm.
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218. We find in favor
of the plaintiff, Earl Sinclair.
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219. - Hey, all right.
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220. Wha...?
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221. I bet they give us the
whole 800 dollars.
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222. And at what amount
do you fix the penalty?
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223. Well, we think
it's wrong
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224. when big companies
push little guys around.
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225. Especially little guys
with sweet,
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226. - adorable kids like that one.
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227. So this time, we little guys
are pushing back.
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228. Wesayso has to pay
Earl Sinclair...
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229. - Eight hundred dollars.
- ... 800 million dollars.
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230. - What?
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231. 800 million dollars?
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232. Plus 23 dollars in court costs.
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233. Wha...?
Very well...
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234. Congratulations, Mr. Sinclair.
Court is adjourned.
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235. Ahh...
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236. This is a
DNN news update.
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237. Earl Sinclair of Lower Pangaea
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238. became our nation's newest
super millionaire this week
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239. as a result
of a huge jury award
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240. in his landmark suit
against Wesayso.
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241. The jury awarded Mr. Sinclair
800 million dollars,
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242. just because he's an average
guy going up against a big, faceless corporation.
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243. As one juror expressed it,
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244. "I hope somebody does
the same thing for me someday."
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245. - I don't know.
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246. Something about this
money thing really bothers me.
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247. Are you kidding, Mom?
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248. We brought an evil, uncaring
corporation to its knees.
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249. We're taking back
the obscene profits
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250. the fat cats stole
from exploited workers.
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251. I guess.
I only hope your father
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252. plans to use that money
responsibly.
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253. I'm rich! Rich, rich, rich!
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254. - Hey! Get out of my pool!
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255. - Earl, what are you doing?
- I'm drowning... in money!
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256. - It's my turn! Tell him.
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257. I wanna play
in the money!
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258. That's the baby's pool.
Get that money out of there.
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259. Oh, relax, honey. I'll buy him
a new inflatable pool.
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260. Olympic-sized, with a
jewel-encrusted water slide.
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261. This is obscene!
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262. I'm beginning to think the jury
awarded you way too much money.
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263. Too much money? Please...
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264. There's no such thing.
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265. All we needed was enough
to cover our expenses.
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266. So they gave me enough
to cover my body...
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267. and paper the walls
of my house.
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268. But all that money
had to come from someplace.
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269. Mom, it came from Wesayso.
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270. There's plenty
where that came from.
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271. Yeah. Fran, I thought
you'd be happier for me.
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272. Finally, an average working guy
gets his just desserts.
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273. And how about all the other
average working guys?
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274. Well, I guess I get...
their desserts too.
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275. I think you're being
awfully selfish.
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276. Fran, this is not
about what you think.
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277. This is about
me and my happiness.
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278. And if you can't climb
aboard my happy train, fine.
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279. I'll towel off and go and visit
my real friends at work.
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280. They appreciate my good fortune.
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281. They still look on me
with respect and love.
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282. That bum, Sinclair!
I hate his guts.
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283. Yeah, crushing his foot.
He's so lucky.
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284. We have to work
our butts off
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285. while Earl sits around
counting money!
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286. Oh, come on, guys.
Be fair.
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287. For someone with Earl's
limited math skills,
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288. counting can be
very grueling.
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289. - Huh?
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290. Hi-ho, peasants!
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291. - Whoa!
- Hey, pally-boy. Yeah.
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292. Hey, Ralph, take a picture
of me with my best friend, Earl.
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293. - Oh, yeah. OK, smile.
- Cheese.
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294. Wow, it's in
solid gold. Classy.
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295. Looks like you've made
wise investments.
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296. Sinclair!
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297. You got one heck of a nerve
showing your face around here.
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298. I oughta bite your head off
and suck the blood
Copy !req
299. out of your neck
like a sports bottle.
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300. You can't touch me, sir.
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301. - Otherwise I'll sue you again.
- Nice.
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302. Very well...
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303. Then, why don't you
step into my office?
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304. You can be part of my
little announcement.
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305. Due to our recent
multimillion dollar setback,
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306. Wesayso has been forced
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307. to reduce the size
of its workforce.
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308. Are you're gonna
miniaturize us? Neat.
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309. My apartment will seem
so much roomier now.
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310. Oh, shut up!
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311. You aren't being shrunk.
You're being fired.
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312. - Everybody's fired!
- Huh?
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313. Get outta here! Now!
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314. Sir, I realize the company's
having a tough time,
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315. but is this cutback
absolutely necessary?
Copy !req
316. Why don't you ask your pal,
Sinclair, there?
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317. If I'm not mistaken,
all this is his fault.
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318. Yes, it's all
Earl Sinclair's fault.
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319. In order to pay him
his huge jury prize
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320. without cutting
any executive salaries,
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321. the Wesayso Corporation
has been forced to lay off
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322. tens of thousands
of low-level workers,
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323. while at the same time,
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324. raising prices on all
Wesayso products and services.
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325. Wow, Dad. Looks like
Mom was right.
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326. Wesayso isn't
suffering at all.
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327. They're just making consumers
pay for all the money you got.
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328. Son, don't believe
everything you see on TV.
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329. This is just another lie
Copy !req
330. propagated by the
left-wing media.
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331. - Earl,
Copy !req
332. I was just at the market
and the prices are ridiculous.
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333. This loaf of bread
cost 300 dollars.
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334. - What about that, Dad?
- Oh, come on.
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335. That must be that
expensive bread
Copy !req
336. with the butter
baked right in.
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337. Earl, you've got to
do something.
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338. I've got no problems.
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339. What about everybody
who lost their jobs?
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340. Hey, if folks are poor,
maybe they deserve to be poor.
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341. This will teach them to
work hard and save their money.
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342. Oh, you mean
like you did, Dad?
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343. Hey, anybody here need
some yard work done?
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344. They raised my rent this month,
and I need some extra cash.
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345. Of course, Roy,
how much do you need?
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346. - Uh, 15 thousand dollars.
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347. - 15 thousand?
- I supply my own tools.
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348. - Earl, give him the money.
- Uh, what?
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349. - Give it to him, Dad.
- Uh...
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350. Uh... I could...
I could just give him the money,
Copy !req
351. but... would that
really be helping him?
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352. - Yes.
- Uh...
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353. I'm sorry, Roy, but it's a lot
more complicated than that.
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354. You see, it's my responsibility
to provide you with incentives.
Copy !req
355. Otherwise,
slovenly idlers like you
Copy !req
356. might never get off the dole.
Copy !req
357. - Um... Thanks.
- Excuse me, Mrs. Sinclair.
Copy !req
358. It's awful hot standing out
there on the freeway off-ramp.
Copy !req
359. Could I have something
to drink? Please?
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360. - Why, certainly, Sid.
- Thanks.
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361. - Champagne!
- Don't we have anything else?
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362. - Nope. Sorry.
- Just champagne.
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363. Don't give
that slacker my champagne.
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364. If he's thirsty, let him
go and suck on the hose.
Copy !req
365. Earl Sinclair,
you caused all this.
Copy !req
366. It's time you stopped
spending money on champagne,
Copy !req
367. and started giving it to your
friends who need it desperately.
Copy !req
368. But giving money
to two or three friends
Copy !req
369. isn't going to solve
the underlying problem here.
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370. Yeah, that's right. Keep it up,
I'll make it worth your while.
Copy !req
371. These economic
problems are too widespread.
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372. The only way we can help
everybody is to get Wesayso
Copy !req
373. to lower their prices
and hire back all their workers.
Copy !req
374. Yeah. You hearing this, Fran?
Copy !req
375. And how could we
get them to do that?
Copy !req
376. Dad has to give back
all the money.
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377. Are you nuts?
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378. - Dad, it's the only answer.
- It's not the only answer.
Copy !req
379. There's another
perfectly good answer.
Copy !req
380. - No, I won't do it.
- Don't you see?
Copy !req
381. That money is our leverage
to force Wesayso
Copy !req
382. to re-hire
all the workers
Copy !req
383. and lower prices
back where they were.
Copy !req
384. But...
But, it's my money.
Copy !req
385. I wanna keep it.
Copy !req
386. But it was
a stupid jury award.
Copy !req
387. How can you
enjoy that money
Copy !req
388. when millions of others
are suffering?
Copy !req
389. - Tell the truth, Earl.
Copy !req
390. Doesn't that
expensive champagne
Copy !req
391. leave a bitter taste
in your mouth?
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392. I thought it was because
I just brushed my teeth.
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393. You came to do what?
Copy !req
394. We came to return
the money. Right, Dad?
Copy !req
395. Uh... Yeah.
Copy !req
396. - We don't want it anymore.
- What?
Copy !req
397. It was ill-gotten gains
and we're troubled
Copy !req
398. by the widespread hardship
it's caused.
Copy !req
399. - Robbie more so than me.
- Huh?
Copy !req
400. - You wanna give it all back?
- That's right.
Copy !req
401. Well... Fine,
leave it by the door.
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402. Have a nice day.
Copy !req
403. First Wesayso has to agree
Copy !req
404. to hire back all
the laid off employees
Copy !req
405. and lower all
the prices it raised.
Copy !req
406. - What?
- That's the only way we'll give it back.
Copy !req
407. Lower prices?
Never, never, never.
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408. Keep your lousy money.
We don't want it!
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409. Oh, well. Too bad.
You tried.
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410. - Thanks for your time, sir.
- Hold it, Dad.
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411. Mr. Richfield,
you've gotta lower prices.
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412. Millions of folks
are suffering.
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413. Well, whose fault is that?
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414. You take
800 million from us,
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415. we just take it right back
from everybody else.
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416. - That's terrible!
- No, it makes sense to me.
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417. Well, I'm heading home.
Come on, little ones.
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418. Wait, Dad. We can't
let him do this.
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419. Now, you've heard him.
He's made his mind up.
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420. - Oh, look. A door.
- Wait.
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421. - We've gotta convince him.
- Watch me go.
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422. - You. Don't go anywhere.
- Huh?
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423. Hold it, Dad.
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424. - I'll see you at home, son.
- What?
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425. - Watch out!
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426. - Oh, jeez.
- Jeez.
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427. Dad, are you OK?
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428. Oh, sure.
That was hardly a bump.
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429. Whiplash! Oh!
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430. I've hurt my neck.
I'm gonna sue.
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431. - Whiplash!
- Hmm?
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432. Order. We'll have order.
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433. Members of the jury,
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434. Have you reached a verdict?
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435. Yes, we have. In the case
of Richfield versus Sinclair,
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436. the jury finds in favor
of the plaintiff,
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437. - B.P. Richfield.
- Oh! The pain is so great.
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438. If only there were some way
to ease the suffering.
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439. And how many millions
is his award?
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440. Well, we figure
it should be a whole bunch.
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441. 'Cause, after all, his painful
neck injury prevented him
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442. from helping his mother
with the home canning.
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443. Oh, uh, by the way, thanks
for the, uh, preserves, ma'am.
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444. Oh, don't give it
another thought.
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445. Go wait in the car, Mom.
I'll take you back to the home.
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446. - Oh, no.
- So we award Mr. Richfield,
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447. - say, um...
Oh, 800 million dollars. -
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448. Ahh! Another 800 million?
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449. OK, that tears it. I am sick
to death of these absurd awards.
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450. Nobody on Earth
deserves 800 million dollars!
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451. You didn't taste
her apple chutney.
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452. Be quiet, you!
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453. I am the judge here,
and nobody is getting any more
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454. crazy jackpot awards
in my court.
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455. All right, we're going
to straighten this out
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456. once and for all.
You, Sinclair...
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457. You give back all the money
you got from Wesayso.
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458. - Do I have to?
- Yes.
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459. Well, then,
I'd be honored, Your Honor.
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460. - And you, Richfield...
- Huh?
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461. Wesayso has to lower its prices
and hire back all its workers.
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462. Oh... Well, I'll...
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463. Speak up, Bradley. You have
such a lovely speaking voice.
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464. OK, Your Honor.
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465. - Bradley?
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466. Fine. That sorts that out.
Am I forgetting anything?
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467. What about these two?
They've been making goo-goo eyes
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468. at each other ever since
the opening arguments.
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469. Yes. I am sick to death
of this beating around the bush.
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470. Why don't you two just
go ahead and get married?
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471. - Will you be mine?
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472. - Wha... Yes.
- Ah.
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473. I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
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474. - Wow, what a happy ending.
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475. Well, I think that settles
everything. Court is adjourned.
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476. And those of you interested
can stick around
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477. for some wedding cake.
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478. Well,
there it goes.
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479. Is a judge
allowed to do all that?
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480. I think he just did it.
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481. You're not too disappointed,
are you, Earl?
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482. Are you kidding?
There's cake!
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