1. - Great game, Dad.
- Thanks, son.
Copy !req
2. Goodness, this evening
of board game fun has been special.
Copy !req
3. Even more special because
you thought to include me.
Copy !req
4. It's almost like
I'm a part of the family.
Copy !req
5. - Aw.
- Good night, all.
Copy !req
6. - Good night, Roy.
- Good night, Uncle Roy.
Copy !req
7. - Ah.
- Good night.
Copy !req
8. It's time for you kids
to be getting to bed.
Copy !req
9. - Oh, hold on.
- Oh.
Copy !req
10. No one's going anyplace.
Copy !req
11. Until we have a family hug.
Copy !req
12. Uh, a hug?
Dad, are you feeling OK?
Copy !req
13. I'm feeling great.
Copy !req
14. Every once in a while
a guy just stops
Copy !req
15. and realizes how happy he is.
Copy !req
16. - Come on.
- Oh, OK.
Copy !req
17. Oh, this feels so good,
I don't wanna let go.
Copy !req
18. But, off to bed.
Copy !req
19. - Kiss kiss. Nighty-night.
- Excuse me.
Copy !req
20. - Night.
- Bye.
Copy !req
21. You seem to be in an
exceptionally good mood tonight.
Copy !req
22. Well, why wouldn't I be?
My life's good.
Copy !req
23. I've got devoted friends,
three loving children,
Copy !req
24. - and a beautiful wife.
- Oh, Earl.
Copy !req
25. What more could
a guy possibly want?
Copy !req
26. Well, it is Thursday night.
Copy !req
27. - And, it's our bedtime too.
Copy !req
28. I'll be right behind you,
my pet.
Copy !req
29. I'll just, uh, put the game
away, and clean up the dishes.
Copy !req
30. - I won't be a minute.
- Oh.
Copy !req
31. - I'll be waiting.
Copy !req
32. Well, how 'bout that?
Copy !req
33. I had so much fun tonight
I didn't even watch TV.
Copy !req
34. Well, maybe I'll watch it
for a minute or two.
Copy !req
35. What possible harm could it do?
Copy !req
36. And now,
back to The Rich Ones.
Copy !req
37. Oh, Stanley,
I can't take the suspense.
Copy !req
38. What did you get for my
birthday?
Copy !req
39. Well, you've been admiring it
for the last 23 miles.
Copy !req
40. - My lamb's wool seat cover?
- Ha! No, silly puss.
Copy !req
41. This vast stretch
of pristine coastline.
Copy !req
42. - It's all yours, my sweet.
Copy !req
43. - Oh!
- Happy Birthday. Hmm.
Copy !req
44. - My own coastline.
- Yes.
Copy !req
45. - I'm so happy.
- A-ha!
Copy !req
46. I don't have my own coastline.
Copy !req
47. Welcome to the
Lifestyles of Those We Envy.
Copy !req
48. And envy super rich model,
Clive, do we all?
Copy !req
49. We caught up with Clive in his
50 room pleasure palace in the Movieland Hills,
Copy !req
50. soaking in his jewel-encrusted
hot tub filled with imported champagne.
Copy !req
51. Pardon me,
would you happen to have
Copy !req
52. some very expensive mustard?
Copy !req
53. Wow.
Copy !req
54. I don't have any of the stuff
those guys have.
Copy !req
55. How could I think
I was happy?
Copy !req
56. I might as well face it.
Copy !req
57. There's a gaping void in my life
I'll never be able to fill.
Copy !req
58. Fill that gaping void in
your life with Cap'n Willie, the ol' salt.
Copy !req
59. A collectible mug
from the world-famous Fernhill Mint.
Copy !req
60. You'd probably expect to pay a
lot for a handcrafted work of art like this.
Copy !req
61. And you'd be right.
It's absurdly expensive.
Copy !req
62. But can you really afford
to be without it?
Copy !req
63. - No.
- Then call now!
Copy !req
64. - I will.
- But, please be patient
Copy !req
65. as we check your credit.
Only the select few can qualify
Copy !req
66. for ownership of this
limited edition masterwork.
Copy !req
67. - Name?
Copy !req
68. - Uh, Earl Sinclair.
Copy !req
69. Hello?
Copy !req
70. Don't miss your chance
Copy !req
71. to join the exclusive ranks
of mug enthusiasts
Copy !req
72. who have found real happiness.
Copy !req
73. Jeez, I'd give anything
for one of those Fernhill mugs.
Copy !req
74. Anything! I'd...
Copy !req
75. I'd even sell my soul!
Copy !req
76. Brimstone!
Boy, I gotta quit smoking.
Copy !req
77. Honey, I'm home.
Copy !req
78. Aaah!
Copy !req
79. - Ohh!
- Ow!
Copy !req
80. - Ow!
- Ooh!
Copy !req
81. Aah!
Copy !req
82. You! You're him! You're...
Copy !req
83. You're the guy
on the cans of deviled ham.
Copy !req
84. Hoo, hoo. Not for long. I'm
suing those guys for copyright infringement.
Copy !req
85. So what do you want with me?
Copy !req
86. I happened to be passing by
and I couldn't help but overhear.
Copy !req
87. You know, I could arrange
for you to have one of those mugs.
Copy !req
88. If you'd like.
Copy !req
89. Are you kidding?
I'd give my soul.
Copy !req
90. Yes, yes, so I heard.
Copy !req
91. Of course, you do realize
the gravity of this transaction?
Copy !req
92. Yeah. I'd be swapping
my immortal soul
Copy !req
93. for one of those mugs on TV.
Copy !req
94. - You got it.
- Whoo-hoo! Ha ha!
Copy !req
95. Where do I sign?
Copy !req
96. On the dotted line, please.
Copy !req
97. And initial the pages marked
with the stick-em notes.
Copy !req
98. Uh... This looks
pretty intimidating.
Copy !req
99. Oh, it's quite standard,
I assure you.
Copy !req
100. Maybe I should have
a lawyer look this over.
Copy !req
101. I am the king of lawyers.
Just sign it!
Copy !req
102. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to snap.
Copy !req
103. It's just been a busy night.
Copy !req
104. Every time that Lifestyles show
airs, business picks up like crazy.
Copy !req
105. - Uh...
- Bop.
Copy !req
106. - Oh!
Copy !req
107. It's been a pleasure
serving you, Mr. Sinclair.
Copy !req
108. I'll see ya later.
Copy !req
109. - Thanks.
Copy !req
110. - Ahh!
- Hey!
Copy !req
111. Hey! Hey wait!
Where's my mug?
Copy !req
112. Jeez, if you can't
trust the lord of all darkness,
Copy !req
113. who can you trust?
Copy !req
114. Whoa!
Copy !req
115. Boy, that was fast.
And no shipping and handling.
Copy !req
116. Oh. Ooh.
Copy !req
117. Ahh...
Copy !req
118. Oh. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
119. We caught up
with Earl at his fabulous showplace of a home,
Copy !req
120. where he showed off
his extraordinary Fernhill mug.
Copy !req
121. Yes. Earl really seems to have
it all.
Copy !req
122. He's finally on his way
to being truly happy.
Copy !req
123. Yeah.
Copy !req
124. Uh, I never seen
anything like it.
Copy !req
125. You must be
the happiest guy on earth.
Copy !req
126. Oh, gosh. I wish I was you.
Copy !req
127. Uh, of course I'd have
to have my clothes altered.
Copy !req
128. Might be more trouble
than it's worth.
Copy !req
129. But that is still
one snazzy-lookin' mug.
Copy !req
130. Jeez. Yep, fellas.
Copy !req
131. If you look up "happiness"
in the dictionary,
Copy !req
132. you'll find a bunch of words
to describe how I feel.
Copy !req
133. - Yeah.
- Hey.
Copy !req
134. Sinclair! In here now!
Copy !req
135. What do you think
you're doing, Sinclair?
Copy !req
136. Uh, just showing off
my new Fernhill mug, sir.
Copy !req
137. Who said you could own
one of those things?
Copy !req
138. Uh, if I'm not mistaken sir,
I believe I am entitled to have possessions.
Copy !req
139. Well, I suppose there's no way
I can keep you from it.
Copy !req
140. Legally.
Copy !req
141. But, we of the
Mug Fanciers Society
Copy !req
142. try to uphold rigorous standards
Copy !req
143. for those who own and display
collectible mugwear.
Copy !req
144. You own a Fernhill mug, sir?
Copy !req
145. Own one? I own eight!
Copy !req
146. Eight mugs? Sir,
you must be supremely happy.
Copy !req
147. I am the happiest person
you'll ever meet,
Copy !req
148. you worthless bucket of chum!
Copy !req
149. Obvious from your
sunny disposition.
Copy !req
150. Shut up!
Copy !req
151. If you're gonna be a mug owner,
better start acting like one!
Copy !req
152. Where do I begin, sir?
Copy !req
153. Start by staying clear
of that riffraff you hang out with.
Copy !req
154. You mean my friends?
Copy !req
155. Friends no more, Sinclair.
Copy !req
156. They are mugless,
and therefore beneath contempt.
Copy !req
157. So... keep an eye on them
'cause they'll be envious
Copy !req
158. and they might
try to steal your mug.
Copy !req
159. Oh, thanks for the warning.
Copy !req
160. Next, you'll need to join
our mug society.
Copy !req
161. Membership dues are 1200 a year.
Copy !req
162. What? Twelve hundred bucks?
Copy !req
163. A pittance when you consider
the many hours of mug camaraderie.
Copy !req
164. - We meet next week at my place.
- I'm invited to your home?
Copy !req
165. Yeah. While we enjoy
light refreshments, swap mug lore.
Copy !req
166. Buy, sell, trade and
discuss articles in Mugazine.
Copy !req
167. Mugazine?
Copy !req
168. The monthly digest of
beverage vessel collecting.
Copy !req
169. Now you'll need to subscribe.
It's a bargain at 200 a year.
Copy !req
170. Two hundred, 1200...
Uh... Sir, may I go now?
Copy !req
171. It looks like I've got an
awful lot of spending to do.
Copy !req
172. Yeah.
Copy !req
173. Make way, she's coming in!
Copy !req
174. - What on earth is that?
- Wow.
Copy !req
175. - A Fernhill mug display case.
- It looks expensive.
Copy !req
176. A necessary expense
to protect our investment.
Copy !req
177. - What investment?
- Why our Fernhill mug.
Copy !req
178. Do you realize that mugs similar
to mine have risen in value as much as...
Copy !req
179. Oh, my mug!
Where is it!
Copy !req
180. If you broke it I'll rip
your tiny, pink appendages off.
Copy !req
181. I didn't touch it!
Copy !req
182. Earl, stop that.
Nobody broke anything.
Copy !req
183. You left and Roy stopped over
and asked if he could borrow it.
Copy !req
184. Huh?
Copy !req
185. So I guess you owe me
an apology? Hmm?
Copy !req
186. Roy borrowed my mug?
Copy !req
187. Yes. He said he wanted
to impress a date.
Copy !req
188. You loaned it to Roy?
He's riffraff.
Copy !req
189. Oh, Mr. Richfield was right.
Copy !req
190. And now Captain Willie's
stranded in Roy's crummy, little, low-rent dump,
Copy !req
191. while Roy and some sleazy cookie
Copy !req
192. slobber over it and paw it
with their greasy fingers.
Copy !req
193. Hi, Uncle Roy.
Copy !req
194. I do not have greasy fingers!
Copy !req
195. And my girlfriend's
slobbering problem
Copy !req
196. is largely under control.
Copy !req
197. - Here's your stupid mug.
- It better be all right.
Copy !req
198. Hey, all we did was look at it.
Copy !req
199. And by the very act,
decreased its value.
Copy !req
200. What's that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
201. It means that fine,
collectible art like this
Copy !req
202. isn't meant to be handled
by ignorant low-lifes like you.
Copy !req
203. - Hey!
- Earl, it's just a mug.
Copy !req
204. Don't embarrass yourself, Fran.
You sound as stupid as Roy.
Copy !req
205. - What did you say?
- Oh, Fran, don't listen to him.
Copy !req
206. No way you're as stupid as...
Hey!
Copy !req
207. You can't talk to me or her...
about me... like that.
Copy !req
208. Well, I'm leaving, Mr. Former
Pally-Boy.
Copy !req
209. Never to return again.
Copy !req
210. - Goodbye.
- Good riddance!
Copy !req
211. You're watching
Mug Television.
Copy !req
212. Programming exclusively by,
for and about mug fanciers.
Copy !req
213. And now, the mug news roundup
with Chip Stein.
Copy !req
214. Good evening.
Panic has rocked the mug community
Copy !req
215. off its coaster tonight
as yet as another mug theft
Copy !req
216. has been reported.
Copy !req
217. Police advise all mug owners
Copy !req
218. to keep their priceless
collectibles closely guarded.
Copy !req
219. I'll have more mug news
in a minute... Courage.
Copy !req
220. And this here arms the system.
Copy !req
221. You enter your code
to active the alarm and security apparatus.
Copy !req
222. All of this will definitely keep
the crooks from getting their
Copy !req
223. - grimy mitts on my mug, right?
- You mean like this?
Copy !req
224. - See that?
Copy !req
225. - Oh!
Copy !req
226. - And you disarm it... thus.
- Huh?
Copy !req
227. - Ah-ha!
- Oh!
Copy !req
228. - Hey.
Copy !req
229. Yeah. So what do you say, Mr. S?
Copy !req
230. - Worth the money?
- Oh, every last dollar.
Copy !req
231. - Uh-huh.
- Which, by the way, you took.
Copy !req
232. Earl, we have to talk.
Copy !req
233. I was just at
the grocery store
Copy !req
234. and they refused
to take my check.
Copy !req
235. Something about
insufficient funds.
Copy !req
236. Fran, fancy alarm systems
don't grow on trees.
Copy !req
237. - Uh?
- I had to get the money from somewhere.
Copy !req
238. - What?
- Hey, wanna hear the nifty alarm?
Copy !req
239. I wanna know how
we're supposed to eat without any money!
Copy !req
240. Never fear.
We're making money as we speak.
Copy !req
241. Mom,
my clothes are gone!
Copy !req
242. My sweaters, my blouses,
my shoes. Everything!
Copy !req
243. My guitar's missing
and my speakers.
Copy !req
244. Some security system, Earl.
Copy !req
245. Everybody relax.
Copy !req
246. I know exactly
where your stuff is.
Copy !req
247. Oh?
Copy !req
248. In fact, I'd better check
on how it's doing.
Copy !req
249. - Oh, ooh.
Copy !req
250. Could you go lower
on this guitar?
Copy !req
251. No haggling.
Prices as marked.
Copy !req
252. - Can I help you, ma'am?
- Oh. Uh, yes.
Copy !req
253. - How much for the highchair?
- Uh...
Copy !req
254. - It's not for sale!
- Oh.
Copy !req
255. - Sixty bucks.
- Hey!
Copy !req
256. - That chair is not for sale.
- Oh, my.
Copy !req
257. I'll give you two bucks
for the blouse.
Copy !req
258. Look, there is no yard sale.
Copy !req
259. - Hey, get a grip, Fran!
- They should never have...
Copy !req
260. Look, I'm raking it in here.
Copy !req
261. You are acting like a lunatic
and destroying our family.
Copy !req
262. Are you kidding? We're earning
extra money just by clearing out
Copy !req
263. useless, forgotten
household items.
Copy !req
264. - These are my schoolbooks.
- My diary!
Copy !req
265. - Oh, come on now.
Copy !req
266. We all have to
make sacrifices
Copy !req
267. if we want to remain
a Fernhill family.
Copy !req
268. Ugh, that mug!
Copy !req
269. That awful mug
is the root of this whole mess.
Copy !req
270. You're lucky you put in that
security system or else I'd
Copy !req
271. walk in there right now
and smash it to pieces!
Copy !req
272. Fran! That mug,
as you call it,
Copy !req
273. has made us happier
than we've ever been!
Copy !req
274. If you weren't so angry
you'd see that!
Copy !req
275. Fran! Fran!
Copy !req
276. Bad mug.
Copy !req
277. Well, it's getting late.
Time to turn in.
Copy !req
278. Night, night, Willie.
Copy !req
279. We'll be upstairs
if you need us.
Copy !req
280. Sure thing, Mr. S.
Copy !req
281. Hmm...
Copy !req
282. Aah.
Copy !req
283. Uh...
Copy !req
284. Aah...
Copy !req
285. - Oh!
Copy !req
286. Whoa.
Copy !req
287. Busted.
Copy !req
288. Aah! Oh!
Copy !req
289. Hey! Hey! Wake up.
Copy !req
290. - What's happened?
Copy !req
291. - We got a situation here.
- I'm here for you, Mr. S.
Copy !req
292. Oh, my! It's the baby!
Copy !req
293. I didn't do it!
I didn't do it I tell ya!
Copy !req
294. You do anything with that mug,
so help me...
Copy !req
295. Earl! Do something
to stop this noise!
Copy !req
296. Oh, sure thing, ma'am.
Copy !req
297. - All right!
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Copy !req
298. - Sweetheart, are you all right?
- I'm OK, Mama.
Copy !req
299. Gimme that mug!
Copy !req
300. You little rat! I oughta
skin you alive for this.
Copy !req
301. - Looks like an inside job, sir.
- That's right, Hank.
Copy !req
302. He's our perpetrator.
Copy !req
303. Lock him up
and throw away the key.
Copy !req
304. - Earl! This is our child!
Copy !req
305. - OK, you can keep the key.
Copy !req
306. So, Mr. S.,
will you be pressing charges?
Copy !req
307. No need.
Copy !req
308. I'll be taking
the child with me.
Copy !req
309. - He's yours.
Copy !req
310. In fact,
we'll all be leaving
Copy !req
311. until my husband decides
to come to his senses.
Copy !req
312. - Yeah!
- Oh, well fine, leave.
Copy !req
313. Take the children with you.
Copy !req
314. Those guys on the
lifestyle shows get re-married all the time!
Copy !req
315. But they keep their villas and
their sports cars... and their Fernhills.
Copy !req
316. Who's there?
Copy !req
317. Nobody's gonna get my mug.
Copy !req
318. I'm here to protect it.
Nobody.
Copy !req
319. Nobody...
They're all after me.
Copy !req
320. They're after me.
Copy !req
321. Morning, Mr. S.
Another quiet night, huh?
Copy !req
322. But you can rest easy,
that mug is still safe.
Copy !req
323. Oh, that's right.
That's the important thing.
Copy !req
324. So see you tonight, then.
Copy !req
325. It sure was awful quiet here
last night, wasn't it?
Copy !req
326. Uh, yes, sir.
Copy !req
327. And our security system
sure did the job, right?
Copy !req
328. Sir, look, if you don't mind,
Copy !req
329. I'd really like to get home
to my family.
Copy !req
330. Oh! Oh, you got a family?
Copy !req
331. Yes, sir. Wife and kids.
Copy !req
332. Uh... got any pictures?
Copy !req
333. Yeah, lots of pictures.
Copy !req
334. Oh! Oh, wow.
I bet they still like you, too.
Copy !req
335. I figure I'm
the luckiest guy alive.
Copy !req
336. - Yeah.
- I don't have much,
Copy !req
337. but I've got their love.
Copy !req
338. And as I see it,
that's all you need to be happy.
Copy !req
339. - I've got a picture of my mug.
- Loser.
Copy !req
340. - Huh?
Copy !req
341. I've lost my friends,
I've lost my family.
Copy !req
342. I've even lost Hank.
Copy !req
343. Forgive me for saying this,
Willie, but I'm not happy.
Copy !req
344. - Sulfur, yuckl
Copy !req
345. All right, Sinclair.
You ready to go?
Copy !req
346. What do you mean?
I'm not dead yet.
Copy !req
347. What are you sticking around
for? All this excitement?
Copy !req
348. Duh. No, I think I've
made a terrible mistake.
Copy !req
349. Ooh, I've never
heard that one before.
Copy !req
350. I'm not ready
to go. I've made a mistake.
Copy !req
351. Boo-hoo-hoo. Well, forget it!
We made a deal!
Copy !req
352. Boy, talk about pricey.
Copy !req
353. You cost me everything.
Copy !req
354. Can I take this with me?
Copy !req
355. Sure, you're allowed
one carry-on.
Copy !req
356. But why do you
want to take the mug?
Copy !req
357. As a constant
and painful reminder of the folly of my ways.
Copy !req
358. I like it. Très symbolic.
Copy !req
359. Let me get the box.
Copy !req
360. I don't want anything
to happen to it in transit.
Copy !req
361. Fine, just hurry up.
I'm a very busy guy, you know?
Copy !req
362. - What's this?
- Would you just come on.
Copy !req
363. Hey, hold the phone.
Copy !req
364. This is a manufacturer's
guarantee.
Copy !req
365. - Say what?
- A legal document stating that...
Copy !req
366. if I'm not totally satisfied
with my mug I may return it
Copy !req
367. within seven working days
for a complete refund.
Copy !req
368. Let me see that.
Copy !req
369. Let's see... That's guarantee...
Seven days?
Copy !req
370. Complete refund?
Well, I'll be damned.
Copy !req
371. Well, I'm not satisfied.
I want my family back.
Copy !req
372. Well, I guess you're off
the hook this time, Sinclair.
Copy !req
373. All that's been done is undone.
Yada, yada, yada.
Copy !req
374. - Later!
Copy !req
375. Hey, wait a minute.
What about...
Copy !req
376. We caught up with Clive in his
50 room pleasure palace in the Movieland Hills,
Copy !req
377. soaking in his jewel-encrusted
hot tub filled with imported champagne.
Copy !req
378. - Huh?
Copy !req
379. Earl,
are you coming to bed?
Copy !req
380. Darling, it's Thursday night,
remember?
Copy !req
381. - Oh, you're right, it is.
- Indeed.
Copy !req
382. It's still Thursday night and I
haven't alienated my friends and my family
Copy !req
383. for the sake of a ridiculous
material possession.
Copy !req
384. No, Earl, you haven't.
Copy !req
385. Don't go away.
We'll be right back
Copy !req
386. with much more to envy
after these dazzling advertisements.
Copy !req
387. - No, I think not.
Copy !req
388. I'm coming, my sweet!
Copy !req