1. From the producers
of Hair Trigger Cop and Hair Trigger Cop IICopy !req
2. comes another pointless
exercise in gratuitous violence.Copy !req
3. - Goody.
- He was just an ordinary cop.Copy !req
4. Then one day they killed
his partner, his wife,Copy !req
5. - his kids, his parents,Copy !req
6. and his travel agent.Copy !req
7. Then they ran over his dog,Copy !req
8. a couple of times.Copy !req
9. This time you've gone too far!Copy !req
10. Now he's angry.Copy !req
11. He's way past the boiling
point, he's...Copy !req
12. Exploding Cop.
Coming to a theater near you.Copy !req
13. No one under 17 admitted
unless accompanied by money.Copy !req
14. - Yeah, I'm there.
- Yeah, me too.Copy !req
15. - Me three.
- It's a date.Copy !req
16. Dad, I've read that
seeing all that violenceCopy !req
17. has a bad effect on kids.Copy !req
18. Yeah? What a crock.Copy !req
19. You've gone too far,
Mr. Snuggle Bear.Copy !req
20. Where does he
dream this stuff up?Copy !req
21. Oh, Dad, I need you
to sign this consent formCopy !req
22. - for wilderness survival camp.
- How much?Copy !req
23. Daddy, this is not about money.Copy !req
24. This is about my summer vacationCopy !req
25. and my time of personal growth
and enrichment.Copy !req
26. - It's more than 100, isn't it?
- 350.Copy !req
27. - But it will help me gain confidenceCopy !req
28. - and learn who I am.
- I can tell you who you are.Copy !req
29. Somebody who's
not going to get 350.Copy !req
30. - Why not?
- Because $350 is a lot of money.Copy !req
31. I know, but...Copy !req
32. As a female you don't have
a head for figures.Copy !req
33. So let me put it in terms
you'll understand:Copy !req
34. if it were lipstick
it would be, uh...Copy !req
35. $350 worth of lipstick.Copy !req
36. Fine, fine.Copy !req
37. I'll find a part-time job
and pay for it myself.Copy !req
38. You find work?Copy !req
39. I don't mean to sound
patronizing, but...Copy !req
40. Girlie, girlie,
girlie, girlie.Copy !req
41. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
42. This time you've gone too far.Copy !req
43. She's gonna explode!Copy !req
44. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
45. Aaah!Copy !req
46. - Ohh!
- Ow!Copy !req
47. - Ow!
- Ooh!Copy !req
48. Ahh!Copy !req
49. Since my dad won't pay for it,
I decided to earn my own money.Copy !req
50. Charlene Sinclair. Charlene.Copy !req
51. - Charlene...
- Yeah.Copy !req
52. Hey, that's a girl's name,
isn't it?Copy !req
53. Well, I am a girl.Copy !req
54. Now I'm really lost.Copy !req
55. Why would a girl want to apply
for a job as a busboy?Copy !req
56. Because I can do the job
as well as any boyCopy !req
57. and I should get a fair chance.Copy !req
58. No, come on,
are you seriously suggestingCopy !req
59. that a female can load stacks
of dirty dishes into a sink?Copy !req
60. Anybody can do that.Copy !req
61. Wait, did Al our maître d'
send you in here?Copy !req
62. 'Cause he's always pulling
these kooky stunts on me.Copy !req
63. - Al didn't send me in.
- Yes, he did.Copy !req
64. - Look, I really want to work.Copy !req
65. A girl lookin' for a job
as a busboy.Copy !req
66. That guy's twisted.
He's a nutcase, huh?Copy !req
67. Hey, tell Al he's a kook,
and I love him!Copy !req
68. A bag boy.Copy !req
69. Bag boy!Copy !req
70. Paperboy, paperboy.Copy !req
71. - What is this, a riddle?Copy !req
72. - Errand boy.
- Delivery boy.Copy !req
73. - Bat boy.
- Cow boy.Copy !req
74. Mama's boy.Copy !req
75. Ball boy.Copy !req
76. Cocktail waitress boy.Copy !req
77. He was a cop
trying to put his life back together.Copy !req
78. And they killed his second
wife, his foster parents,Copy !req
79. his adopted son
and his therapist.Copy !req
80. But he was OK,Copy !req
81. until his market
ran out of peanut butter.Copy !req
82. You're out of crunchy!Copy !req
83. This time you've gone too far!Copy !req
84. Exploding Cop II.Copy !req
85. Uh...Copy !req
86. Cleanup on aisle four.Copy !req
87. I wanna explode.Copy !req
88. Honey, you're not
going to explode.Copy !req
89. Whoops! Need a diaper,
aisle four.Copy !req
90. - Hi, everyone.
- Hi, sweetheart.Copy !req
91. How's the job hunt?Copy !req
92. Terrible. There's nothing
out there for females.Copy !req
93. Now don't get discouraged.Copy !req
94. Keep plugging away and you'll
find something just wonderful.Copy !req
95. That's right, Charlene.
I hear they're hiring now...Copy !req
96. in your mom's imagination.Copy !req
97. - What's that supposed to mean?
- She doesn't have a chance.Copy !req
98. Haven't you ever heard
of the old boys' network?Copy !req
99. - What's that?
- It's a bunch of old guysCopy !req
100. who all went to the same school
and belonged to the same clubs.Copy !req
101. They all get together
and smoke cigarsCopy !req
102. and do everything they canCopy !req
103. to keep females
from getting ahead.Copy !req
104. Oh, that's just a myth.Copy !req
105. You're watching
OBN, the Old Boys' Network.Copy !req
106. Member-supported television
dedicated to keeping females in their place.Copy !req
107. - Oh, we're back.Copy !req
108. I'm John Thomas III.Copy !req
109. My guests tonight
are all captains of industry.Copy !req
110. And between us we own, um,
just about everything, really.Copy !req
111. - As it should be.Copy !req
112. The topic tonight: females.Copy !req
113. What's with 'em?Copy !req
114. What says you, Johnson?Copy !req
115. Well, I haven't
the foggiest, JT.Copy !req
116. You give them a perfectly
good kitchen and six kidsCopy !req
117. and they're still complaining.
Harpies one and all.Copy !req
118. I hear some of them
want to join the workforce.Copy !req
119. Good lord, that's all we need.Copy !req
120. Pink bulldozers with drapes.Copy !req
121. It's not going to happen.Copy !req
122. - Are we agreed?
- Agreed.Copy !req
123. A toast, to our members.Copy !req
124. - To our members.
- Cheers.Copy !req
125. They explored
both sides of that issue.Copy !req
126. - Oh, Charlene.Copy !req
127. I can't believe this.Copy !req
128. Monica was right.
There is an old boys' network.Copy !req
129. Uh... no, there isn't.Copy !req
130. - I just saw it.
- OK, there is.Copy !req
131. That stinks, Daddy.Copy !req
132. Oh, sweetie, honey, cupcake.Copy !req
133. - Ow!Copy !req
134. Look, it's a male's world
out there.Copy !req
135. I don't like it
any more than you do,Copy !req
136. but, hey, what you gonna do?Copy !req
137. There's no reason a femaleCopy !req
138. can't do the same work
a male can.Copy !req
139. Oh, please!
Can you push down trees?Copy !req
140. Can you build tract housing?Copy !req
141. Can you hunt down
a poor defenseless animalCopy !req
142. and shoot him in the back
when he's not looking for sport?Copy !req
143. Well, I'd like
the chance to try.Copy !req
144. You can't change the world,
sweetheart.Copy !req
145. Oh, no? Well, I'm gonna
write the Chief ElderCopy !req
146. and see what he
has to say about it.Copy !req
147. Yeah, right.Copy !req
148. With all the problems he has,
he's going to have timeCopy !req
149. to read your
pathetic little letter.Copy !req
150. My fellow Pangaeans,Copy !req
151. recently my administration
has come under fireCopy !req
152. for being unfocused
and disorganizedCopy !req
153. in its response to our nation's
many woes.Copy !req
154. I take full responsibilityCopy !req
155. and pledge that,
starting tonight,Copy !req
156. we will move forward
boldly and decisivelyCopy !req
157. on the one issue which means
most to the Pangaean public,Copy !req
158. - and that issue is...Copy !req
159. equal employment
opportunities for females.Copy !req
160. And to, um, uh...Copy !req
161. Miss Charlene Sinclair,Copy !req
162. the thanks
of a grateful nation.Copy !req
163. I called you big, sniveling
piles of blubber in hereCopy !req
164. so we can all collectively
congratulate Sinclair.Copy !req
165. - Hey! Nice job.
- Way to go, pally-boy!Copy !req
166. - Oh, shut up!Copy !req
167. Don't you even want to know why?Copy !req
168. Did you want us
to want to know why, sir?Copy !req
169. Hess, one day I'm gonna gut you
and turn you into luggage!Copy !req
170. Well, I've always dreamed
of traveling with you.Copy !req
171. Oh, shut up!Copy !req
172. Because Sinclair
can't control his daughter,Copy !req
173. the Elder has passed a new lawCopy !req
174. requiring that any company
that has a federal contractCopy !req
175. has to hire females.Copy !req
176. And guess who just got
a big federal contract?Copy !req
177. - Uh, Earl?
- Earl?Copy !req
178. - Way to go, buddy!
- Hey, way to go!Copy !req
179. - Stop talking!Copy !req
180. The point is we need
female employees pronto.Copy !req
181. So there's going to be some
personnel changes around here...Copy !req
182. changes that affect you.Copy !req
183. Oh.Copy !req
184. - Ah.
- I feel like a two-bit floozy.Copy !req
185. Don't flatter yourself,
Sinclair.Copy !req
186. Now you gals
pull yourselves together.Copy !req
187. A government weasel's
gonna be here any minute to check up on us.Copy !req
188. I suppose I should've gotten
pantyhose with the breathable crotch.Copy !req
189. - I have a pair in the trunk.
- Does this handbag to with this hat?Copy !req
190. All right, here he comes.
Now act dainty.Copy !req
191. Morning, Mr. Richfield.
Good morning, ladies.Copy !req
192. Good morning.Copy !req
193. As you can see, I'm up to
my butt in females here.Copy !req
194. So why don't you just
cross us off your list,Copy !req
195. grab yourself a donut
on the way outCopy !req
196. and these young lovelies
can get back to pushing trees.Copy !req
197. Uh, not so fast,
Mr. Richfield.Copy !req
198. You'd be surprised
how many companies try to deceive the government.Copy !req
199. So if you don't mind,
I'd like to ask these ladiesCopy !req
200. a few simple questions
designed to verify gender.Copy !req
201. And why don't we start with,
uh... You, Miss, uh...Copy !req
202. Earl... Earletta.Copy !req
203. Would you step into
the examination room, please?Copy !req
204. - Miss Earletta,Copy !req
205. you're driving around at night
and you're lost.Copy !req
206. Do you ask for directionsCopy !req
207. or... keep on going?Copy !req
208. Well,
I'd do the sensible thingCopy !req
209. and pull into a gas station
and ask directions.Copy !req
210. Ah.Copy !req
211. Of course,
if it hadn't been for my wifeCopy !req
212. yappin'
all the time I wouldn't be lost in the first place.Copy !req
213. "Turn around, you missed the
exit. Let's go back..."Copy !req
214. I mean, my husband.Copy !req
215. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
216. You have a personal problem
that's been bothering you.Copy !req
217. Your friend sees you're upset
and offers a sympathetic ear.Copy !req
218. What do you do?Copy !req
219. Well, I bottle it up insideCopy !req
220. until it becomes
larger than life,Copy !req
221. causing me to lash out
at those I love.Copy !req
222. - Yep.
- Yes.Copy !req
223. Then I go out
and get a tattoo.Copy !req
224. All right, miss,
you're at a cocktail partyCopy !req
225. and you feel your pantyhose
beginning to run.Copy !req
226. What do you do?Copy !req
227. Uh, dab it
with clear nail polish.Copy !req
228. Why, that's... correct.Copy !req
229. Yeah. I read it in one
of my glamour magazines.Copy !req
230. They're chock-full of
babes in lingerie, you know.Copy !req
231. I see no reason
to continue this charade.Copy !req
232. Good! Well, then,
if we have your approvalCopy !req
233. - we can get back to work.
- Richfield, this is a disgrace!Copy !req
234. The law requires that you
employ at least one female,Copy !req
235. and none of these
even come close.Copy !req
236. Well, except for the guy
in the polka dots.Copy !req
237. I'm afraid I'll have to
recommend cancellation of your contract.Copy !req
238. Excuse me, um, Daddy?Copy !req
239. Here's that sports bra
you called about.Copy !req
240. There, there! That's one
of our female employees now!Copy !req
241. I see. And what exactly
is her position here?Copy !req
242. Position? Uh, well, uh...Copy !req
243. Um, she is... She has
a very important position.Copy !req
244. She's the, uh...
She's the supervisor.Copy !req
245. You mean she's our boss?Copy !req
246. Uh-huh.Copy !req
247. Jeez. Twenty years
stuck in the same job,Copy !req
248. and my daughter becomes
my boss in 20 seconds.Copy !req
249. What do you make of that?Copy !req
250. It's like your life is
a series of meaningless eventsCopy !req
251. leading up to a moment of utter
futility and disappointment.Copy !req
252. - Just checking.
- Ah.Copy !req
253. It's funny, you know.Copy !req
254. Charlene is your boss,
so you have to listen to her.Copy !req
255. - Yeah.
- Uh, but you're her father,Copy !req
256. so she has to listen to you.Copy !req
257. Hey, you know, in a way
that makes you your own boss.Copy !req
258. Oh, or Charlene
her own daughter.Copy !req
259. Roy, I think you're
on to something.Copy !req
260. - I didn't mean...
- No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
261. No, don't you see?
Charlene's just a little girl.Copy !req
262. She has to take
guidance from her father.Copy !req
263. - Yeah.
- Now if the guidance I pass onCopy !req
264. just happens to be
of benefit to us...Copy !req
265. - Ah.Copy !req
266. Excuse me, workers,
gather 'round, everyone.Copy !req
267. Uh, workers, gather 'round,
please.Copy !req
268. If I can have
everyone's attention.Copy !req
269. I just want you all to know
that as your new supervisorCopy !req
270. I plan to be tough but fair.Copy !req
271. I believe that...Copy !req
272. Uh, sweetheart,
that's a very nice speech,Copy !req
273. but, uh,
it's almost one o'clock.Copy !req
274. Uh... but what happens
at one o'clock?Copy !req
275. Oh, honey.
You're the supervisor, you should know these things.Copy !req
276. Well,
I'm kinda new at this.Copy !req
277. Well, normally it would be time
for lunch, but, uh, today is...Copy !req
278. - Tuesday.
- Hup!Copy !req
279. Takeoff Tuesday.Copy !req
280. Yeah, it's the
one day of the weekCopy !req
281. where we take off
right after lunch.Copy !req
282. Is it 1:00 already?Copy !req
283. Gee, I'd better hurry home.
The wife's gonna worry.Copy !req
284. Really?
Well, uh, OK, then.Copy !req
285. I guess I'll see everyone
here bright and early tomorrow morning.Copy !req
286. - Right.
- Oh, well, normally, yes,Copy !req
287. but, uh, tomorrow is, um...Copy !req
288. - Um...
- Waterslide Wednesday.Copy !req
289. - Ah.
- Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
290. I guess I have a lot to learn.Copy !req
291. Yep. But we'll be right there
to help you along.Copy !req
292. - Thanks.
- That's right.Copy !req
293. Hi. Charlene?Copy !req
294. - Hi.
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
295. I heard you got a job
at Wesayso.Copy !req
296. Oh, not just a job.
I'm the supervisor. Ha!Copy !req
297. What are you doing home
in the middle of the day?Copy !req
298. We don't have an ironing board
at work.Copy !req
299. The guys said I could wash and
iron their shirts at home.Copy !req
300. - You're doing their laundry?
- It's Fluff-and-Fold Friday.Copy !req
301. You wouldn't believe
how much there is to learnCopy !req
302. about the operational
complexities of a large multinational corporation.Copy !req
303. - Oh, there's my cupcakes.Copy !req
304. Cupcakes?Copy !req
305. Yes. There's so much baking to
do for Dessert Tray Tuesday.Copy !req
306. Honey, I think someone's
taking advantage of you.Copy !req
307. - Who'd want to do that?
- ♪ Cupcakes, I love cupcakesCopy !req
308. Oh, hey, listen, sweetheart.Copy !req
309. To avoid fights breaking out
over the cupcakes,Copy !req
310. make sure you spell out
the guys' names in sprinkles.Copy !req
311. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
312. - Uh-huh.
- Daddy!Copy !req
313. You and the guys are
taking advantage of me.Copy !req
314. Nonsense.Copy !req
315. By any chance, has somebody
been polluting your mindCopy !req
316. with her male-hating propaganda?Copy !req
317. Earl, you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.Copy !req
318. - Yeah.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
319. She's not a real supervisor.Copy !req
320. - What?
- She's just a token female.Copy !req
321. - Ooh.
- Don't worry, honey.Copy !req
322. You'll always be Daddy's
little token female.Copy !req
323. I was hired as a supervisor,Copy !req
324. and that's just
what I'm going to be.Copy !req
325. I can do that job
as well as any male.Copy !req
326. I'd like everybody's attention.
I have an announcement to make.Copy !req
327. Things have been
a little lax around here,Copy !req
328. - and from now on...
- Not now, honey, we're busy.Copy !req
329. - Uh, left foot, red.
- I'm serious.Copy !req
330. It's time to start working.Copy !req
331. Spin again, Roy.
I'm getting a cramp.Copy !req
332. Fine, fine! I can see
that you boys are busy.Copy !req
333. I guess you just don't
have time for... donuts.Copy !req
334. - Huh? Donuts?
- Mmm.Copy !req
335. - Yeah.
- Wait, guys, don't go. It's a trick!Copy !req
336. No, it's not a trick.
It's an incentive.Copy !req
337. I'll give each one of you
a donutCopy !req
338. for every tree
that you push over.Copy !req
339. You're not talking about those
bite-size donut gems, are you?Copy !req
340. What? No. Full size.Copy !req
341. - Day old?
- No. Bakery fresh.Copy !req
342. Hey! I'm gonna push down
a million trees.Copy !req
343. - Good.Copy !req
344. Guys, come back!Copy !req
345. You are taking orders
from a female.Copy !req
346. - Traitors!Copy !req
347. Daddy, there's a coconut frostie
with your name on it.Copy !req
348. Not if it was the last donut
on Earth.Copy !req
349. - Oh.
- Uh...Copy !req
350. - It's not, is it?
- No. I'll just leave it out hereCopy !req
351. in case you change your mind.Copy !req
352. Good. Here you go.Copy !req
353. - Not bad.
- Yeah.Copy !req
354. Hey. Great work today, guys.Copy !req
355. You've broken
the old Wesayso record.Copy !req
356. Yeah, well, we owe it all
to you, Miss Sinclair.Copy !req
357. - Aw, shucks.
- Let's hear it for Charlene,Copy !req
358. the best tree supervisor
we ever had.Copy !req
359. - Hey. Hip hip...
- Hooray!Copy !req
360. - Hip hip...
- Hooray!Copy !req
361. - Hip hip...
- Hooray!Copy !req
362. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
363. - OK.
- Here you go.Copy !req
364. - Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Great.Copy !req
365. - Donuts!
- Da...? Oh.Copy !req
366. Well, we're finished.Copy !req
367. You can punch out
and go home now.Copy !req
368. Sorry, but that would be
taking orders from a female.Copy !req
369. - Hmm?Copy !req
370. There. I believe
I'll go home now.Copy !req
371. OK. Uh-uh-uh!
That's for workers.Copy !req
372. Fine. Don't spoil your dinner,
Miss Supervisor.Copy !req
373. Fine. Humph!Copy !req
374. Sinclair...
I mean, Miss Sinclair!Copy !req
375. Could I see you in here
for a moment?Copy !req
376. Sure, boss.Copy !req
377. - Yes, sir?Copy !req
378. Since you've joined us,
productivity has risen...Copy !req
379. - ... 300 percent.
- Oh.Copy !req
380. At this rate,
we'll finish our three-year contract in six months.Copy !req
381. - No need to thank me, sir.
- Thank you? I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
382. - What?
- We're government contractors.Copy !req
383. I was just trying to be
efficient.Copy !req
384. - Don't say that word!
- Efficient?Copy !req
385. Aaah! The E word is our enemy.Copy !req
386. If a contract calls for three
years you take four, or eight.Copy !req
387. - They expect it.
- Sir, I don't understand.Copy !req
388. Well, of course you don't.
You're a female.Copy !req
389. - What?
- It took millions of yearsCopy !req
390. for males
to get this system down,Copy !req
391. and you screwed it up in a week.Copy !req
392. That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
393. Oh! Well, perhaps I'm
not making myself clear.Copy !req
394. How about this?
You're fired!Copy !req
395. Now get out of here
before I rip out your intestines for a jump rope!Copy !req
396. Efficient.Copy !req
397. - Get out!
- Aaah!Copy !req
398. - I'm back.
- Hi, honey.Copy !req
399. Dinner's almost ready.
Why don't you wash up?Copy !req
400. Oh! Another order from a female.
When will this insanity end?Copy !req
401. I take it you and Charlene
are still having problems.Copy !req
402. Why can't you two sit down
and reason this out?Copy !req
403. Oh, sure.
Put me at a disadvantage.Copy !req
404. I'll tell you how
we're gonna settle this.Copy !req
405. She wants to be a guy?Copy !req
406. We'll settle it the same way
I would with any guy who got in my way.Copy !req
407. - Hi, I'm home.Copy !req
408. OK, Charlene,
just you and me, right now.Copy !req
409. Rock, paper, scissors.Copy !req
410. Charlene, I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
411. If you and your father
will keep working togetherCopy !req
412. you two need to talk.Copy !req
413. Don't worry, Mom,
there's no problem.Copy !req
414. As of tomorrow we won't be
working together anymore.Copy !req
415. - Huh?
- What? What do you mean?Copy !req
416. You mean you're firing me?
No, no, please!Copy !req
417. I admit it, I was wrong.Copy !req
418. A female can do just as good
a job as a male. Better, even.Copy !req
419. Just... Just give me
another chance, please!Copy !req
420. You weren't fired, Daddy.
I was.Copy !req
421. And not a moment too soon.
You were in way over your head.Copy !req
422. You're not gonna
let me enjoy this, are you?Copy !req
423. Your daughter just got fired
from her first job, Earl.Copy !req
424. It's no big deal.Copy !req
425. No, no, honey, it is.Copy !req
426. I know exactly what
you're going through.Copy !req
427. I mean, I wasn't always
the great success I am now.Copy !req
428. - Hmm?
- Really.Copy !req
429. I know what it's like
to lose a job.Copy !req
430. - Ha!
- Yeah?Copy !req
431. - Or two.
- Ahem.Copy !req
432. - OK. Seven.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
433. The point is, you were...Copy !req
434. a good supervisor.Copy !req
435. - Excuse me?
- A good supervisor.Copy !req
436. - Do you mean that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
437. And it's tough for me to admit
that a female can doCopy !req
438. just as good a job as a male.Copy !req
439. - And especially your daughter.
- Oooh! That was the killer.Copy !req
440. - Sure.
- But that's all over.Copy !req
441. Now you're back to being
Daddy's dainty little blossom.Copy !req
442. - Dad, I can't...
- No, no, let me finish.Copy !req
443. And to prove that
I've learned my lesson,Copy !req
444. Daddy's gonna give you
the money so you can go awayCopy !req
445. on your little summer
wilderness whatever.Copy !req
446. I don't need it.
I can pay for it myself...Copy !req
447. - ... with my severance pay.
- Severance?Copy !req
448. How much did you get?Copy !req
449. Let me put it in terms
you'd understand: if it were donuts,Copy !req
450. it would be $500
worth of donuts.Copy !req
451. Wow.Copy !req
452. How much is that
in brownies?Copy !req
453. You know,
without Charlene there,Copy !req
454. I wonder what Mr. Richfield's
gonna do about his female hiring quota.Copy !req
455. Hmm.Copy !req
456. Say anything and I'll rip
your spine out through your ear!Copy !req