1. Now approaching the 18th tee,Copy !req
2. tournament leader Earl Sinclair.Copy !req
3. Hey, listen there.Copy !req
4. Bet you never thought you'd
hear those words together.Copy !req
5. Sinclair and leader? Heh?Copy !req
6. I've been waiting a
long time for this, Roy.Copy !req
7. I always lived
with the secret fearCopy !req
8. that my life had no meaning.Copy !req
9. But if I par this hole, I
become Earl Sinclair,Copy !req
10. Wesayso Employee
Tournament champ,Copy !req
11. Southeastern
Division, 35 and over.Copy !req
12. That's not a life lived in vain.Copy !req
13. All I have to do to ensure
my time on this earthCopy !req
14. has meant something,
is not to choke.Copy !req
15. - He's gonna choke.
- Big time.Copy !req
16. Ah! Jeez!Copy !req
17. Hey, relax there, pally-boy.Copy !req
18. All you gotta do is steer
clear of those trees on the left...Copy !req
19. If you hit it over there,
it's the end of the world.Copy !req
20. Hey, hey! I got
enough pressure here.Copy !req
21. No, uh, I mean those
trees actually markCopy !req
22. the end of the known world.Copy !req
23. Your ball goes over
them, it sails off the edgeCopy !req
24. into a huge cauldron of
fire-breathing dragons.Copy !req
25. And they call this a par three?Copy !req
26. Yo, Earl, you gonna
swing during this epoch?Copy !req
27. All right, all right.Copy !req
28. - Ah!
- Oh!Copy !req
29. Come on, come on...Copy !req
30. Oh...Copy !req
31. Oh, my. Over the trees.Copy !req
32. What a surprise.Copy !req
33. Hey, don't sweat it, Earl. It
could happen to anybody.Copy !req
34. What's the penaltyCopy !req
35. for hitting the ball off
the end of the world?Copy !req
36. It's two strokes, I think.Copy !req
37. I'm not taking the penalty.
I'll play where it lies.Copy !req
38. - What?
- Hey, whoa!Copy !req
39. Hey, you can't
do that, pally-boy.Copy !req
40. No dinosaur's ever
gone past those trees.Copy !req
41. You'll fall off the
end of the world!Copy !req
42. I'm not losing this tournament!Copy !req
43. Rats!Copy !req
44. I knew I shouldn't
use the range ball.Copy !req
45. I wonder where it
went. Huh? What's this?Copy !req
46. "Unspeakable horrors."
That would have to be it.Copy !req
47. That's the way my life works.Copy !req
48. Maybe I should drop
some breadcrumbs.Copy !req
49. Honey, I'm home!Copy !req
50. Oh, my allergies.Copy !req
51. What's this?Copy !req
52. Earl. Hey, Earl!Copy !req
53. Wait up!Copy !req
54. Hey, Roy, you came after
me. Now that's a true friend.Copy !req
55. Ah, Sid sent me to make
sure you didn't cheat.Copy !req
56. Jeez!Copy !req
57. Oh! Oh, boy, that smarts.Copy !req
58. - Hey.
- Bah!Copy !req
59. - Uh, Roy.
- Yeah?Copy !req
60. In the event that
I actually fall offCopy !req
61. the edge of the known world,Copy !req
62. make sure you get the
deposit back on the golf cart.Copy !req
63. Oh, sure thing. OK.Copy !req
64. Roy! You're not
gonna believe this.Copy !req
65. Huh? Hmm? Ohhh!Copy !req
66. We'll never find your ball now.Copy !req
67. It's not the edge of the world.
It's a vast, uncharted new land!Copy !req
68. - Yeah.
- And I discovered it!Copy !req
69. - Yeah?
- Hey, I better
make my claim official.Copy !req
70. Yeah. Yo. Yo, yo, yo!Copy !req
71. Quick, yell "dibs."Copy !req
72. I hereby claim this land in the
name of Earl Sneed Sinclair.Copy !req
73. Yeah.Copy !req
74. There. It is done.Copy !req
75. Yep, my name's gonna
go down in history, Roy.Copy !req
76. Earl Sneed Sinclair,
famous discovery guy.Copy !req
77. Uh, what about me?Copy !req
78. - Oh! Well, you'll be there too.
- Yeah?Copy !req
79. Not based on your
own merit, but, uh...Copy !req
80. simply by being close to me in
my hour of extreme greatness.Copy !req
81. Yeah. Roy Hess, passive
observer to history.Copy !req
82. Uh... Ooh!Copy !req
83. Ah! We'll get at the scene.Copy !req
84. Whoa!Copy !req
85. Ow! Oh!Copy !req
86. Cavemen? What
are they doing here?Copy !req
87. Trespassing, I'd say.Copy !req
88. Oh, boy. For some reason,Copy !req
89. they don't seem to
know it's your land.Copy !req
90. - Well, then let me inform them.
- Yeah.Copy !req
91. Ah!Copy !req
92. Yeah.Copy !req
93. Yuck, they're
hairy little savages.Copy !req
94. - Ain't they.
- They'll have to go.Copy !req
95. Nothing drives down the
value of real estate like humans.Copy !req
96. - Right, right.
- Well, come, Roy.Copy !req
97. History awaits our biased
recounting of this momentous event.Copy !req
98. Oh!Copy !req
99. Yeah, we could
significantly embellish...Copy !req
100. I don't believe this!Copy !req
101. I discover a whole new
world, and no one cares!Copy !req
102. Yay!Copy !req
103. Well, there you
go. See? He cares.Copy !req
104. Mama discovered new world!Copy !req
105. No, not Mama. Daddy.Copy !req
106. Daddy discovered a new world.Copy !req
107. - What did Mama do?
- Mama did nothing.Copy !req
108. Nothing! Yay! Mama did nothing!Copy !req
109. I'm sure it's a very nice world,Copy !req
110. but I don't know what you're
gonna do with a million acresCopy !req
111. when you barely have the
energy to mow the front yard.Copy !req
112. Robbie, will you please
explain to your motherCopy !req
113. the significance
of my discovery?Copy !req
114. Well, a find like
this is followed byCopy !req
115. an expansion of
the dinosaur empire.Copy !req
116. Which, ruthlessly
and mercilessly,Copy !req
117. crushes any life
standing in its path.Copy !req
118. Listen here, Mr. Knee-Jerk Leftwing
World Domination Poo-poo-er.Copy !req
119. It so happens that there's
nothing out there to ruin.Copy !req
120. Just some rocks and
shrubs and cavemen.Copy !req
121. Cavemen? There's
cavemen living there?Copy !req
122. They're not living
there, they're just there.Copy !req
123. Like the rocks and dirt. Are
the rocks and dirt living there?Copy !req
124. Dad, some anthropologists
believe that the cavemenCopy !req
125. have an agrarian culture with
rudimentary spiritual awarenessCopy !req
126. and a close-knit
family structure.Copy !req
127. So do rocks!Copy !req
128. It's their land. They
were there first.Copy !req
129. They're animals.Copy !req
130. They may be smaller than
us, but I can't think of a creatureCopy !req
131. - more blood-thirsty and savage.
- It's Mr. Richfield.Copy !req
132. - OK, that's one.
- Yeah.Copy !req
133. Um, hello.Copy !req
134. Congratulations, Sinclair.Copy !req
135. I heard about your
historic discovery.Copy !req
136. Oh, thank you, sir. I knew
somebody'd be impressed.Copy !req
137. Well, that's an awful lot
of land you just got there.Copy !req
138. Have you thought how you
might rape and denude it?Copy !req
139. Rape and denude it, sir?Copy !req
140. Forgive me... industry jargon.Copy !req
141. I meant develop it
for the public good.Copy !req
142. - Well, actually, no.
- Yeah!Copy !req
143. Good! Because the
Wesayso CorporationCopy !req
144. is in the unique position to
convert that tree-choked jungleCopy !req
145. - into a thriving metropolis!
- Oh, I don't know, sir.Copy !req
146. In the past,Copy !req
147. you've used and degraded
me in cruel and sadistic ways.Copy !req
148. When you suggest you
know what's best for the land,Copy !req
149. I can't help but suspect
you're trying to manipulate me.Copy !req
150. Hmm. Have I mentioned
we're gonna call it Sinclair City?Copy !req
151. Start paving, bud.Copy !req
152. Hey, how's it going,
bud? What's that?Copy !req
153. - We found some spotted owl.
- Lunch!Copy !req
154. OK.Copy !req
155. The Earl Sinclair International
Airport will be over there.Copy !req
156. Another monument to your ego?Copy !req
157. No, the monument to my egoCopy !req
158. will be in front of
the Galleria Earl.Copy !req
159. More stores?Copy !req
160. Did you have to name
everything after yourself?Copy !req
161. No. And if you'd just open
your eyes, Mrs. Spoke Too Soon,Copy !req
162. you'd see see that I named
the city library after you.Copy !req
163. - I'm honored.
- Hey, Dad, look at this.Copy !req
164. You keep saying
cavemen are just animals.Copy !req
165. I think they must be smartCopy !req
166. if they made this. It's
obviously a spearhead.Copy !req
167. - It's a rock.
- Oh. All right.Copy !req
168. What about this? This
is clearly a cutting tool.Copy !req
169. Clearly another rock.Copy !req
170. What about this? It's
some kind of salad shooter.Copy !req
171. The savages! They use
vegetables as weapons!Copy !req
172. But they're not savages!
Look, I'm telling you.Copy !req
173. You're destroying
an entire civilization.Copy !req
174. If there was a civilization
here, we'd see some signs of it.Copy !req
175. Like what?Copy !req
176. Like billboards, tract
homes, strip malls.Copy !req
177. Those drive-through huts
where you can drop off your film.Copy !req
178. - Cookie!
- I'm telling you,Copy !req
179. cavemen have been here for
years and haven't done a thing.Copy !req
180. Maybe they like it this way.Copy !req
181. And they like waiting two
weeks to get their film back?Copy !req
182. - But...
- You're making the case for me.Copy !req
183. Robbie's just
expressing his opinion.Copy !req
184. You don't have to
be so hard on him.Copy !req
185. Hard on him?Copy !req
186. He's been raining on my
parade since I found this place.Copy !req
187. Look! Cookie!Copy !req
188. Cookie for me!Copy !req
189. Why can't he just
be happy for me?Copy !req
190. I mean, finally, I'm
gonna be somebody.Copy !req
191. I'm gonna be remembered.
It's all I ever wanted.Copy !req
192. Everybody wants
to be remembered.Copy !req
193. See? She gets it
and she's only ten.Copy !req
194. - Fourteen.
- Whatever.Copy !req
195. - Earl, where's the baby?
- I'll find him.Copy !req
196. There's no point in me
sticking around here. Jeez.Copy !req
197. Oh, Rob's a big
boy. He'll get over it.Copy !req
198. I'll name a bridge after him.Copy !req
199. I'm rich!Copy !req
200. - Hey, get back here.
- No!Copy !req
201. - Where'd you get those cookies?
- Found 'em.Copy !req
202. Right. I suppose they
were lying on the ground.Copy !req
203. That's right. One there,
one there, one there.Copy !req
204. Well, that doesn't
make any sense.Copy !req
205. Why would there
be a trail of cookiesCopy !req
206. leading to this very spot?Copy !req
207. - I don't know,
but they're mine.
- Hey!Copy !req
208. - Mama!
- Help!Copy !req
209. - Help! Help!
- Mommy!Copy !req
210. - Help!
- Told him they had spearheads.Copy !req
211. Hey! Ow!Copy !req
212. Help, help, help!Copy !req
213. Robbie! Baby!Copy !req
214. - They're not in their rooms.
- Then search somewhere else.Copy !req
215. Right, I'll check the mall.Copy !req
216. I knew they didn't come
home by themselves.Copy !req
217. We should've stayed in
the forest and kept looking.Copy !req
218. We did look. They weren't there.Copy !req
219. Come on, you saw the
mood Robbie was in.Copy !req
220. He's found the Baby
and he's taking hisCopy !req
221. own sweet time coming
home to annoy me.Copy !req
222. Watch, I bet the two of themCopy !req
223. come waltzing through
that door any second.Copy !req
224. Hi. It's me.Copy !req
225. - Ah, thanks.
- Roy, this is a bad time.Copy !req
226. Robbie and the Baby are missing!Copy !req
227. Oh, then I guess
how I found his shoeCopy !req
228. would stir up
unpleasant memories.Copy !req
229. Where did you
find Robbie's shoe?Copy !req
230. Uh, oh, in the forest,Copy !req
231. next to a bunch
of caveman tracks.Copy !req
232. Cavemen? With
Robbie and the Baby?Copy !req
233. What if they've
been carried off?Copy !req
234. - Earl, I'm calling the police.
- Uh, Frannie.Copy !req
235. Frannie, my wife, my
love. My partner in a certainCopy !req
236. multi-million-dollar
real estate venture.Copy !req
237. I understand your concern
about your offspring.Copy !req
238. But let's not start a panic hereCopy !req
239. with irresponsible,
unsubstantiated rumorsCopy !req
240. of savages
carrying off children.Copy !req
241. Our babies are out there,
Earl. I'm calling the police.Copy !req
242. Frannie, come on!Copy !req
243. This is my one
chance to be important.Copy !req
244. It happened by accident, and
it's not gonna happen again.Copy !req
245. - Don't blow this for me.
- We've gotta do something.Copy !req
246. And we will! But let
me handle it my way.Copy !req
247. Besides, I'm sure
they're perfectly safe.Copy !req
248. Mama!Copy !req
249. Huh?Copy !req
250. Huh?Copy !req
251. I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Your language is very crude.Copy !req
252. I imagine you're trying to
communicate in your primitive way.Copy !req
253. Don't get offended, I just don't
understand... Blah, blah blah.Copy !req
254. Blah, blah, blah, blah...Copy !req
255. What the...?Copy !req
256. - Uh...
- Whoa!Copy !req
257. Uh, please forgive me.Copy !req
258. Many eggs hatch since I
speak to another of my kind.Copy !req
259. You're a dinosaur.Copy !req
260. Yes. Cavepeople call
me Wahatchi Muychacha.Copy !req
261. - Muychacha.
- It means "Thighs of Thunder."Copy !req
262. They ask me, speak with you now.Copy !req
263. - How are you called?
- I... I'm Robbie Sinclair.Copy !req
264. Robbie.Copy !req
265. I'm the Baby. Uh, gotta love me?Copy !req
266. - Cute.
- Why are you living
with the cavemen?Copy !req
267. Oh, well, when I was small,Copy !req
268. like, uh, Baby Gotta Love Me,Copy !req
269. my parents, uh...Copy !req
270. dinosaur, like you, bring
me to forest for picnic.Copy !req
271. But soon, I am alone.Copy !req
272. Parents no more.Copy !req
273. Oh, they died, huh?Copy !req
274. No, two-career
couple. No time for kids.Copy !req
275. They leave me, drive away fast.Copy !req
276. - That stinks!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
277. Cavepeople find me.
Raise as one of them.Copy !req
278. Live here many
years. Very happy.Copy !req
279. Until dinosaur come.Copy !req
280. Rape and denude our land.Copy !req
281. Make cavepeople angry.Copy !req
282. That is why they bring you here.Copy !req
283. Um...Copy !req
284. Well, boys, as you
might have heard,Copy !req
285. we've had some caveman trouble.Copy !req
286. Cavemen?Copy !req
287. They're nothing but
murderous varmints!Copy !req
288. - Yeah!
- The only good cavemanCopy !req
289. is a dead caveman!Copy !req
290. Well said. That's why I want
you all to be part of my posse.Copy !req
291. Posse?Copy !req
292. Gee, Earl, isn't that,Copy !req
293. basically, some sort
of vigilante group?Copy !req
294. Ha! Better believe it.Copy !req
295. - Sounds kinda dangerous.
- Yeah, well,Copy !req
296. with a posse, we can act
quickly and do things our own way.Copy !req
297. What you're saying is
this posse would operate,Copy !req
298. - essentially, outside the law.
- Well, technically, yeah.Copy !req
299. And in doing so,Copy !req
300. wouldn't we be running roughshod
over rights of the individualCopy !req
301. - and due process?
- Yeah!Copy !req
302. In a fit of self-righteous
vigilantism,Copy !req
303. we could break
the law ourselves.Copy !req
304. - Couldn't we?
- Huh? Theoretically, but...Copy !req
305. If we were perceived
as criminals,Copy !req
306. what would keep a
posse coming after us?Copy !req
307. - And another after them.
- Yeah!Copy !req
308. We could be opening
the floodgates to anarchy.Copy !req
309. That's right.Copy !req
310. Bringing about the demise
of the family and other family...Copy !req
311. - Earl? A word, please?
- Huh?Copy !req
312. Charlene and I are going.Copy !req
313. - Where?
- To get our boys.Copy !req
314. Are you staying
or coming with us?Copy !req
315. I hear ya, I got more kids than
you could shake a rat on a stick at.Copy !req
316. Carry over to a
posse-related injury? Huh?Copy !req
317. - Let's go.
- Good. Come on.Copy !req
318. - Come on, come on, come on.
- Come, the time is short.Copy !req
319. - She talks funny.
- Shush.Copy !req
320. - You shush.
- Behold.Copy !req
321. - Cartoons!
- Quiet.Copy !req
322. For many years,Copy !req
323. cavepeople live in harmony
with trees and creatures.Copy !req
324. Preserve land so
all can live together.Copy !req
325. Then dinosaur come.Copy !req
326. Push down trees. Pour
black rock over land.Copy !req
327. Pave paradise,
put up parking lot.Copy !req
328. Dinosaur own land, but
dinosaur not love land.Copy !req
329. And this...Copy !req
330. uh, pretty much
brings us up to date.Copy !req
331. Well, what is it
you want us to do?Copy !req
332. You must go now. Tell
dinosaur what you have seen.Copy !req
333. Tell them cavepeople
want only to preserveCopy !req
334. what is already here.Copy !req
335. - Tell them...
- Robbie! Baby!Copy !req
336. Not the Mama!Copy !req
337. The dinosaur have come.Copy !req
338. Now it is up to you.Copy !req
339. - There's their filthy rat hole.
- Yeah.Copy !req
340. OK. Now there's only
three of us, so look fierce.Copy !req
341. Right.Copy !req
342. Now listen, you slimy hairballs!Copy !req
343. You hurt one
scale on my boy's...Copy !req
344. - It's OK, Dad.
- Robbie!Copy !req
345. - Dad, Dad!
- Not the Mama!Copy !req
346. It's OK. We're fine.Copy !req
347. - Oh!
- My babies!Copy !req
348. - Mama!
- Baby!Copy !req
349. Get back! They're coming out.Copy !req
350. Oh! Take your brother
home where it's safe.Copy !req
351. Dad. Easy, Dad,
they're not gonna hurt us.Copy !req
352. Well, lookie here. A
dinosaur gone caveman.Copy !req
353. What's the matter? Couldn't
cut it in the civilized world?Copy !req
354. There is little civilizedCopy !req
355. about a world that
treats land as you do.Copy !req
356. This is my land, and I've
got the deed to prove it.Copy !req
357. But that's just a
piece of paper, Dad.Copy !req
358. - They were here first.
- But I discovered it.Copy !req
359. This is my chance to be part
of history. To be somebody.Copy !req
360. To have dinosaurs know who I am.Copy !req
361. You're Earl
Sinclair, aren't you?Copy !req
362. You see?Copy !req
363. Who are you?Copy !req
364. Walter Sternhagen
of Tax Assessment.Copy !req
365. This is for you.Copy !req
366. Oh, fame now has a
double-edged sword.Copy !req
367. Now that this area has
been officially discovered,Copy !req
368. it can be officially taxed.Copy !req
369. And, according to
our assessments,Copy !req
370. the taxes on this little slice
of heaven come to exactly...Copy !req
371. $11,280,000.Copy !req
372. That's insane! I don't
have that kind of money.Copy !req
373. Well, as we say in the tax
assessment office, tough!Copy !req
374. If it's your land,
you gotta pay for it.Copy !req
375. And if I don't?Copy !req
376. Our collection department
bites your face off.Copy !req
377. Oh! Aw, jeez!Copy !req
378. Who'd have thought making your
mark on history could be so hard?Copy !req
379. - Uh, Mr. Sternhagen?
- Uh-huh?Copy !req
380. Hypothetically speaking,Copy !req
381. if this land belonged
to, say, cavepeople...Copy !req
382. - Yeah.
- Since they're not citizens,Copy !req
383. and they don't legally exist,Copy !req
384. you couldn't tax
them, could you?Copy !req
385. - Well, actually... no.
- Yes!Copy !req
386. Dad, Dad, look.
They're decent creatures.Copy !req
387. If you let them keep their land,Copy !req
388. you'd give them the chanceCopy !req
389. to live with dignity and
harmony with natureCopy !req
390. for generations to come!Copy !req
391. That's really being
somebody, Dad.Copy !req
392. Plus, that's 11 million dollars
the government will never see.Copy !req
393. I guess... this belongs to you.Copy !req
394. Today, he says, you
have done a noble thing.Copy !req
395. He says, today will
always be rememberedCopy !req
396. for the generosity
of the large plaid one.Copy !req
397. We remember...Copy !req
398. Earl!Copy !req
399. - Huh.
- Well, what do you know, Earl?Copy !req
400. I think it looks like you're going
to be remembered, after all.Copy !req
401. I'm proud of you, Dad.Copy !req
402. And so it was that a
group of savage cavemenCopy !req
403. came to own a million
acres of prime real estate.Copy !req
404. An hour later, representatives of
the government met with the cavemenCopy !req
405. and after several hours
of delicate negotiations,Copy !req
406. swindled... purchased
the land from the cavemenCopy !req
407. in exchange for $24
and some shiny beads.Copy !req
408. Those noble, but
financially naive, savagesCopy !req
409. will be relocated to a remote
corner of northwest Pangaea,Copy !req
410. but they won't
soon be forgotten.Copy !req
411. A brand-new baseball stadiumCopy !req
412. will be built on the cavemen's
sacred burial groundsCopy !req
413. and will serve as the
home for a new franchise,Copy !req
414. named appropriately, the
Central Pangaea Cavemen.Copy !req
415. The team's owners unveiled
their new logo earlier today,Copy !req
416. saying, "We'll miss those
lovable fuzzballs, but hey,Copy !req
417. it's a great day for baseball."Copy !req