Dinosaurs 3x20

1. Hold still. Let me wipe your face.

2. No, no, stop it. No, Mama, stop.

3. Morning, Mom. Hey, listen, can I get a ride to the swamp?

4. The Clean Up Pangaea rally is today.

5. Sure, dear. Soon as I'm done with the baby.

6. - Great. - Now, help me with this...

7. Why would anyone want to volunteer to pick up trash out of a swamp?

8. Gee, I don't know, to save the planet from destruction?

9. Of course, living in your narrow-minded, materialistic world,

10. you probably don't know anything about Clean Up Pangaea Day.

11. Are you kidding? It's been on my calendar for months.

12. There's a Clean Up Pangaea sale at the mall.

13. - I'll help clean up. - Well, thank you.

14. It's good to see at least one of my siblings hasn't

15. been corrupted by selfishness and greed.

16. - Get a life. - What can I do?

17. Uh, well, you could color on recycled paper.

18. Huh?

19. You could switch to cloth diapers.

20. You could stop eating

21. single serving, pre-packaged foods.

22. Eh, forget it. Give me another box of juice.

23. Robbie, I think what you're doing for the environment is wonderful.

24. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine.

25. You lose sight of the things in life that are really important.

26. So why don't you come along?

27. - Today? It's today? - Yeah.

28. Oh, I'd love to, but I've got to buy groceries,

29. and then... put them on the shelf.

30. Can't I just write a check to somebody?

31. That's so typical, Mom. Don't you see?

32. It's up to all of us to get out there

33. and take care of our environment.

34. Because dinosaurs are the world's most advanced, intelligent creatures.

35. Fran, come here! Aliens are landing in the living room.

36. Well, some dinosaurs. Jeez.

37. Hey, look, it's that new UFO show.

38. And then this space vehicle comes spinning down.

39. Looked like a big cigar.

40. It hovered over the cesspool...

41. and sucked up the dog.

42. Now, this is television worth watching.

43. I'm going to the swamp to help clean it up. Why don't you come?

44. - Hey, get out of the way! TV! - Well, this is important.

45. And this is never before seen footage.

46. You know, I don't get you.

47. How can you sit here, on your butt, watching TV

48. while the whole world is falling apart around you?

49. - Falling apart? - Yeah.

50. I get my mail every day, I get 170 cable channels,

51. I can buy beer in a bottle or potato chips in a can.

52. My world's just fine.

53. And if I say it ain't broke, it isn't broken.

54. How would you know about the world?

55. You waste all your time in front of the TV.

56. Hey... Don't you knock television.

57. Used wisely, TV is a glorious window to the world.

58. And then them aliens put a spigot in my forehead.

59. Mmm-hmm. Sucked out my brain juice.

60. Incredible.

61. - Hmm. - Wow.

62. Fine. Dad, you sit here with your space creatures.

63. I'm going to venture out into the real world and accomplish something.

64. Bring back a can of chips.

65. When we return, we'll talk to a woman

66. who says she was forced to watch

67. as aliens shaved, then laminated her cat.

68. - Don't change that channel. - You'd have to be an idiot.

69. Honey, I'm home.

70. Aaah!

71. - Ohh! - Ow!

72. - Ow! - Ooh!

73. Aah!

74. Uh, you know why he called us in here?

75. Guess he wants us to watch him read the paper.

76. Ah... Uh, no one reads a paper like you, sir, uh...

77. Huh?

78. Oh, yeah! The way you turn those pages.

79. - Such style, such panache! - Shut up!

80. Look at this! A bunch of tree-huggin',

81. squirrel lovers get together, hold hands and sing some songs,

82. and suddenly I'm supposed to care where I dump my trash?

83. Yeah, um...

84. If I may, sir, why not take the traditional response

85. and squish them like a bug,

86. while diverting the media's attention with something shiny?

87. Yeah.

88. No! The press is watching us like hawks,

89. and we got busted barrels of toxic waste piling up all over.

90. We can't have that! So we gotta bury 'em.

91. Bury them, sir?

92. Yeah, take a couple barrels home and stick 'em in your backyard.

93. - Huh? - Well...

94. I guess I could make room underneath the baby's sandbox.

95. - Mmm-hmm. - Um, far be it for me

96. to bite the hand that beats me, sir, but...

97. If we do this, aren't we just creating a toxic time bomb?

98. Listen to yourself!

99. Selfishly thinking of the future when the present is at stake.

100. If you can't find it in yourself to get this job done,

101. then do it for me.

102. Do it for the company.

103. Do it for this...

104. handsome pen and pencil set.

105. - Ooh... - Ahh...

106. Don't know what it is, pally-boy,

107. but being outside on this beautiful, starry night,

108. I feel a little lightheaded.

109. - Even giddy. - It's the toxic fumes.

110. These things are leaking all over the place.

111. Seems kind of wrong to dump this stuff here.

112. I mean, what with this being the play area

113. where your kids love to romp and frolic.

114. And these being big drums of poison.

115. Hey, don't worry.

116. These barrels are so leaky,

117. they'll drain off into the groundwater

118. and be gone before you know it.

119. Yeah, I guess so.

120. It's just that I keep hearing this tiny voice inside my head

121. telling me what we're doing ain't right.

122. Earthlings! Cease your evil deed and cower before me.

123. Eh, kind of like that,

124. only much, much quieter.

125. I am Prolix from the planet Kyron.

126. Uh, Roy. Roy Hess, from the Marina.

127. You are the one they call Earl Sneed Sinclair?

128. Yeah, well, Earl Sinclair would be fine,

129. - or just plain Earl, or... - Silence!

130. Hear my charge.

131. Your species is greedily wasting natural resources and polluting its atmosphere.

132. Your heinous actions have disrupted

133. the delicate natural balance that keeps this planet alive.

134. It wasn't just me! Mr. Richfield made me do it!

135. You must all learn to respect and care for your environment.

136. And you, Earl Sinclair,

137. must spread the word to other dinosaurs

138. - before it is too late. - But... Why me?

139. What makes you think anyone will believe me?

140. You're not smart enough to make up a story like this

141. - and everybody knows it. - You are very wise.

142. Go now and begin the task before you.

143. - Or else face the consequences. - Consequences?

144. If you do not do as I command,

145. we will vaporize you and all life on this puny planet.

146. The fate of all dinosaurs rests in your hands.

147. Oh, jeez, I hate it when that happens.

148. - Go now! - Yes, Your Largeness.

149. I'm going. Roy, Roy, Roy.

150. Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy. Wake up!

151. Come on. Wake up.

152. - Wha...? - You gotta see this. He...

153. - He's gone. - Ah, wha... What happened?

154. - They spoke to me, Roy. - Huh?

155. I've got a mission.

156. - I've gotta change my ways. - Ahh...

157. I've gotta go forth

158. and spread this urgent and dire environmental message

159. to every dinosaur across the land.

160. How you gonna do that?

161. Good evening, and welcome to UFO.

162. Tonight, we meet these two dinosaurs:

163. Earl Sinclair and Roy Hess.

164. Earl and Roy claim to have been visited

165. by superintelligent life forms

166. while strolling through the woods.

167. This is their story.

168. My buddy Roy and I

169. were cataloging nocturnal flora and fauna,

170. as we are wont to do with our free time.

171. We'd just found a remote spot, in which to go about

172. our harmless, charitable and benevolent hobby,

173. when, suddenly, we heard this strange noise.

174. It sounded like a thousand screams.

175. I was frightened, but did not pass out.

176. The noise grew louder,

177. and a giant spaceship lowered into view.

178. Then the door opened, and the most bizarre

179. and terrifying creature I have ever seen emerged.

180. Some dinosaurs might have passed out at this point,

181. - but I did not. - In his crude language,

182. the multi-toothed space creature informed me that...

183. That... We dinosaurs have got to stop

184. abusing the earth's environment,

185. or we'll face dire consequences.

186. Time's run...

187. Yes, fascinating.

188. Earl Sinclair, messiah or fruitcake?

189. Perhaps we'll never know.

190. Next up, Miss R.J. Thurwell...

191. and her alien lovechild.

192. No, hey! You gotta listen to me.

193. We gotta change our ways or face extinction.

194. We gotta fight against big,

195. greedy corporations like Wesayso,

196. and stop them from destroying our planet.

197. - Thank you, once again. - Hey!

198. Somebody get this fruitcake off my show!

199. We'll be back after a few words from our sponsor...

200. the friendly folks at Wesayso.

201. I'm gonna kill you! Going on national television

202. badmouthing the company that keeps you alive?

203. Do you enjoy pain?

204. It's time the country learned the truth, sir.

205. I'm sorry if it upsets you.

206. And I'm sorry you'll pass out

207. before I finish chewing your limbs off.

208. What's that?

209. We want Earl! We want Earl!

210. My followers, sir.

211. Seems like I'm not the only one

212. committed to preserving the planet.

213. - We want Earl! - Hey! Get out of here!

214. Don't touch that! Get off my lawn!

215. Sir, I wish you could channel your hostilities towards more positive ends.

216. OK, I've got a positive end for you.

217. The positive end of your career.

218. - I'm glad you brought that up. - Uh-huh.

219. - Because... Because I quit. - You what?

220. I can no longer work for a company so hell-bent

221. on the destruction of our planet,

222. run by a twisted, sick and demented boss such as you... sir.

223. I must now answer to a higher and wiser authority.

224. I am Prolix, from the planet Kyron.

225. Cower before me, puny earthling.

226. I... I fear no dinosaur!

227. Huh?

228. Uh, uh, uh, who is it?

229. Charlene. May I come in?

230. Uh, just a minute.

231. What are you doing?

232. Uh... Nothing.

233. Let's talk. We've gotta do something about dad.

234. This alien thing is way out of hand.

235. Are you kidding?

236. It's the best thing that's happened to him.

237. It got him off his butt and he's doing something good.

238. Oh, yeah? Real good. He just quit his job.

239. Good evening.

240. The environmental organization created a few days ago,

241. Dinosaurs Working for the Environment Together

242. so All Living Things

243. Can Live In a Clean World, or D-W-E-T-A-L-T-L-I-C-W,

244. is gaining massive support throughout Pangaea.

245. It has...

246. - come to our... - Need toner.

247. Fine. Uh-huh.

248. Yes. And it says right here that...

249. - We can send you some... - Good news, everyone!

250. Volunteer registration is up 87 percent!

251. Oh, did you distribute those recycling bins

252. - throughout the neighborhood? - You bet. We're heading out

253. to plant trees along the highway.

254. Our planet thanks you.

255. Ralph, be sure to use the organic fertilizer.

256. We won't stop until Wesayso ends that

257. putrid program of pollution.

258. Putrid program of pollution...

259. - Butch, put that on a sign. - You got it.

260. - Kim, write a song about it. - Right, chief.

261. - Dad, I have something to say. - So do we, son.

262. Lick these envelopes and put them in the box in the kitchen.

263. But it's kind of important.

264. So is the total annihilation of all life on Earth.

265. Get your tail in gear.

266. Look, I'm helping.

267. Hey, what are you doing, little guy?

268. Making a compost heap.

269. We're gonna need a cloth diaper over here.

270. There aren't any more diapers, Earl.

271. Since you quit your job, we can't pay the diaper service.

272. Good, those services are an inefficient use

273. of natural resources.

274. Fleets of trucks,

275. wasting fuel, spewing noxious fumes into the atmosphere.

276. Noxious fumes, over here.

277. Earl, you have to go get your job back.

278. The earth is my job, Fran.

279. And the earth doesn't punch a time clock.

280. When the shift is over, we're all finished.

281. Hey, boss, we're out of stamps.

282. Courage, your damp tongue will not long hang idle.

283. I'll get more.

284. Frannie, don't we have some stamps in here?

285. You've used them all up, Earl.

286. Hmm?

287. And there's no money to buy more.

288. What are we gonna do for stamps?

289. What are we gonna do for food?

290. You know, you could do

291. do this environmental stuff on the weekends.

292. You know, part-time.

293. Those who foul our ecosystem work full time.

294. Can we do any less?

295. Why do you have to do everything?

296. Can't someone else handle the busy work?

297. If I am not for myself, Fran, then who will be for me?

298. And if not now, when?

299. - What? - That's a good one.

300. Hey, you making the signs, I got another one.

301. Uh...

302. We're not really out of money, are we, Mom?

303. Don't worry, sweetheart.

304. This is something your father and I

305. will just have to sort out.

306. I just feel like there's something I should do.

307. No. No, that's all right.

308. It's not your fault this happened.

309. Yeah. Yeah, uh-huh.

310. I can't tell you how alive I feel, Roy.

311. Building a compost heap really recharges the old batteries.

312. You said it.

313. Hey, there's nothing I'd rather do with my evening

314. than shovel rotten fruit and manure

315. into a compost pile so it can decay.

316. Yep. It's a special kind of satisfaction

317. Yeah. Oh, you're not kidding!

318. Hey, this fruit cup's only half finished, huh?

319. They left all the cherries in there.

320. Those are my favorites... Huh?

321. - Earthlings! - Mommy!

322. Greetings to the one they call Earl Sinclair.

323. It is I, mighty Prolix, from the planet Lycra.

324. Lycra? I thought you said you were from Kyron.

325. Yes, well, uh, we have a summer home on Kyron.

326. Oh. Well, uh... I have done as you commanded, Your Honor.

327. And the campaign is going very well.

328. Although, we could always use a few more folding tables.

329. Yes, I am most pleased.

330. But I have come to speak with you of another matter.

331. You must return to your regular work at Wesayso.

332. Um...

333. Forgive my earthbound stupidity, sir.

334. For you, no doubt, have more brains in your little toe

335. than I have in my whole foot.

336. But, uh... What are you talking about?

337. You must return to your job and support your family.

338. For by doing this, you can better serve all dinosaurs.

339. But... didn't you tell me that... there's a greater need

340. to serve the planet, and all else is just a trivial pursuit?

341. I might have. I don't remember. I'm a very busy alien.

342. The point is, you could do more good from within your company.

343. But my company is systematically destroying the earth

344. with its criminal and evil policies.

345. And by challenging them,

346. I have found within myself a passion,

347. a sense of purpose I have never had before.

348. But your job pays pretty good, right?

349. It's dirty money.

350. It's sullied by the corrupt...

351. Shut up! I'm the one with the death ray,

352. and I'm telling you, go back to work!

353. Mom's been very upset lately.

354. - And that's not... - Mom?

355. Uh, by that I mean, um... Mother Earth.

356. She cries out to you, and to all dinosaurs to...

357. To... Don't touch that cord!

358. Don't touch that cord because if you touch that cord,

359. Prolix will be very upset with those...

360. Touch the cord, and... Oh, that's not good.

361. And if you play with cords, you play...

362. Uh...

363. - Robbie? - Um, uh... Greetings?

364. Jeez. How do I explain this?

365. You mean this whole thing was you?

366. You tricked me?

367. I didn't think it'd go this far.

368. Well, it did.

369. Dad. Aw, come on, Dad.

370. - Come on, just listen to me. - Leave me alone!

371. Robbie, Earl, what's going on?

372. I don't think you two have met.

373. - Fran, the alien. Alien, Fran. - Robbie's an alien? Ooh.

374. Thought he'd play a joke on his old dad.

375. Make a fool out of him in front of his family, some coworkers,

376. - and 45 million TV viewers! - Robbie! You should be ashamed.

377. Your father is not some puppet

378. to be paraded before a national TV audience!

379. - Yeah! - Look at me. I'm an alien!

380. - Aah... - I said I was sorry.

381. Oh, you're sorry.

382. I lose my job, my self-respect, and everyone thinks I'm a nut.

383. But you're sorry. Well, I guess that makes us even.

384. I admit I was wrong, but you shouldn't feel that bad.

385. Get away from me.

386. You accomplished an incredible thing.

387. You... You're involved.

388. You made changes that will positively impact the planet

389. for generations to come.

390. They're gonna tease me at work!

391. If I can get my job back.

392. Mr. Richfield's probably none too pleased

393. about me channeling the wrath of a nation against his company.

394. - He hates that. - Oh. Dad...

395. Let's see...

396. "In response to public pressure, the Wesayso Corporation

397. promises to stop pumping industrial waste into the groundwater.

398. And to stop dumping trash into the oceans.

399. And to respect the sensitive, ecological, balance of nature."

400. Ugh! I'm gonna be sick.

401. - Mr. Richfield, sir? - Huh?

402. Sinclair.

403. Mmm. So... you've finally come to deal?

404. You and your fringe-dwelling friends must be really enjoying this.

405. Seeing private industry squirm.

406. Well, let's get it over with. Name your demands.

407. - Demands, sir? - Don't toy with me, Sinclair.

408. I don't have time to pussyfoot around. Now, what do you want?

409. Well... I'd like my job back, sir.

410. - And? - And...

411. - a danish. - Huh?

412. Hmm.

413. Well...

414. - You're a tough negotiator. - Yep.

415. Uh-huh.

416. Well... you got me up against a wall.

417. And I guess I'm gonna have to cave.

418. Alright! You get your job back.

419. - Oh. - But!

420. If I give you the danish,

421. you gotta take a five percent pay cut.

422. - Deal! - Deal.

423. The kids and I are going to the beach to help pick up trash.

424. - Sure you don't wanna come? - Positive.

425. How long you gonna stay sore about this alien thing?

426. How long you gonna live in this house?

427. I'll be in the car. Daddy, you really should come with us.

428. Yes, why don't you?

429. It'll make you feel better just to get out of the house.

430. Forget it. I'd rather sit right here than spend

431. my weekend with a bunch of folk song-singing kooks.

432. I'll retain my dignity, thank you very much.

433. Dignity?

434. Dad, come on, admit it.

435. You really got caught up in that volunteer work.

436. - Did not. - You said it yourself.

437. You found passion and a sense of purpose you never had before.

438. Don't remember.

439. So you're just gonna sit here and watch TV?

440. - That's the plan. - Fine.

441. But you did a good thing, Dad, whether you like it or not.

442. Here.

443. In case you change your mind.

444. It slices, it dices, it cleans your oven.

445. OK, I'd like to buy a vowel.

446. Friends, this is no ordinary car wax.

447. It does so much more.

448. And for the next hour and a half,

449. I'm going to show you how you can make this out-of-this-world

450. miracle car wax an essential part of your life.

451. So stay right where you are,

452. and be a part of car waxing history.

453. Yes, my friends, you don't even have to get out of your chair

454. to experience this magical moment in auto lusterizing.