1. "And so it was time
to say good night.
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2. Good night, rock.
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3. Good night, stone.
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4. Good night, stick.
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5. Good night, another rock."
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6. "Good night, dirt.
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7. Good night, yet another rock."
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8. This is a classic?
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9. Good night, book.
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10. - Good.
- OK, time for bed.
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11. You still owe me a story.
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12. Fine. Here's one
of my favorites.
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13. - What is it?
- If You Were a Tree,
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14. by Bea Walters.
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15. - Oh.
- Let's see.
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16. "Once upon a time, in a
land very much like this one..."
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17. - Uh-huh.
- "... there lived a dinosaur
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18. who pushed down
trees for a living.
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19. One day, he and his friends
were in a part of the forest
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20. they had never seen before."
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21. Take a look, boys.
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22. There's a bright future
for all of us out there.
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23. Where? I don't see anything.
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24. That's 'cause the
trees are in the way.
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25. But, once we've
knocked them down,
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26. there'll be strip malls,
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27. discount membership
warehouses, eight lane highways,
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28. and identical tract homes
as far as the eye can see.
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29. You are a visionary, Earl.
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30. It's noble work we do, uh-huh.
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31. First one to knock down
100 trees, gets a doughnut!
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32. Timber!
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33. Number one!
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34. You're number two.
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35. OK, there, chump. Time to
make like the season and fall.
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36. Alright.
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37. Think you're gonna stand
in the way of progress?
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38. Not.
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39. Whoa!
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40. You had to grow
outdoors, didn't you?
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41. Oh, come on!
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42. We both know how
this is gonna end.
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43. I'd just give up
and roll over if I...
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44. were... you!
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45. - Hey, look, it's Earl.
- It is him.
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46. Hey, way too early for nap time.
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47. - I think the lightning hit him.
- Can you hear me, pal-y boy?
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48. Yeah, yeah. Not so
loud. My head's killing me.
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49. I'm over here.
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50. - Uh...
- You're gonna be OK, pal-y boy.
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51. What am I doing over
there, when I'm over here?
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52. And why do I look so... dead?
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53. - Earl?
- He's dead.
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54. What's happening to me?
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55. Honey, I'm home.
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56. Aaah!
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57. - Ohh!
- Ow!
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58. - Ow!
- Ooh!
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59. Aah!
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60. - Come on.
- Earl, are you dead?
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61. - He's not drooling.
- Yep, he's dead.
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62. I'm not dead.
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63. Hold it. Is he dead or not?
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64. "The tree pusher
was still alive."
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65. Oh, good.
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66. "But, now his spirit
was living inside the tree.
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67. And the tree's spirit
was living inside of him."
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68. I don't get it.
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69. They switched bodies.
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70. - Oh, good.
- Now, where was I?
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71. Ah, yeah.
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72. "When the tree pusher awoke,
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73. he was very different.
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74. Although he still
looked like a dinosaur,
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75. he now possessed
the soul of a tree."
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76. You see there? Takes more than
a couple million volts of electricity
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77. to penetrate that thick noggin.
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78. - Yeah.
- Right, pal-y boy?
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79. - I'm alive.
- Uh-huh.
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80. I'm alive and I'm a dinosaur.
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81. - Yeah.
- How wondrous.
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82. How magical.
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83. See, I told you he was OK.
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84. Now, if you could
just tell me who I am.
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85. I'll take it. You're
Earl Sinclair.
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86. - Are not!
- Do you know who we are?
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87. You're morons! That's not me.
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88. I'm sorry. I don't
recognize any of you.
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89. Wow. He doesn't remember
anything. What're we gonna do?
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90. Well, you know a
shock did this to him.
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91. Maybe we could bring back his
memory with a really strong shock.
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92. We could take him
home to see his kids.
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93. - That should do it.
- Huh?
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94. Yeah. Come on, pal-y boy.
We're gonna take a little stroll
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95. - down memory lane.
- Come on.
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96. Huh?
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97. Sid, Gus! That's not really me!
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98. Come back. Don't leave me!
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99. Hi. Earl got hit by lightning.
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100. Where is he? I've gotta see him.
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101. Oh, now don't worry, Fran.
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102. He's right here, and I'm
telling ya, he's perfectly fine.
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103. Left, right.
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104. Left, right.
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105. Left, right.
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106. Left, right, stop.
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107. Oh. How do you do?
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108. And who might you be?
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109. Earl, this is your family.
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110. My family?
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111. First, I am freed from
my earthly bondage
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112. and now I have a
family of my own.
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113. My heart overflows with joy.
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114. See? Same old Earl.
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115. Say hello to your wife, Fran.
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116. Fran. Oh, what
a beautiful sound.
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117. Like a robin warbling it's
first song of the new morning.
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118. - He's fried.
- Deep fried.
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119. And these are your kids,
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120. Robbie, Charlene and Baby.
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121. Oh, the ripening
fruit of my seed.
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122. I am thrice blessed.
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123. - Who you calling fruit?
- Hey, no.
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124. - Ah, well...
- What?
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125. You guys got a lot
of catching up to do.
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126. - See you in the morning, Earl.
- Oh, thank you, Roy Hess.
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127. Farewell.
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128. Uh-huh.
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129. Um... maybe a good home-cooked
meal will help you feel better.
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130. - Yes.
- Why don't you sit here.
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131. - Ah.
- I was just about
to serve dinner.
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132. Uh, none for me, Mom.
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133. Actually, I was on my way out to
the, uh, Save the Mammoths rally.
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134. The woolly mammoths?
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135. Do you really believe
you can save them?
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136. I know what you're gonna say.
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137. This is just another idiotic, liberal
cause and I'm wasting my time.
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138. No, my son.
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139. The pounding hoofbeats
of the mammoth stampede
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140. - grow weaker
with every passing day.
- Hmm?
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141. If you believe you can save
them from this senseless slaughter,
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142. then go, my son,
and with my blessing.
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143. So, uh, was that a "yes?"
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144. Uh...
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145. Oh, well, then, cool.
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146. And, uh, I'll be going.
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147. Water, the elixir of life.
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148. Ahh.
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149. - That's funny.
- Shh.
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150. How come nobody's laughing?
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151. - Uh, I'll just...
- Ah, I am refreshed.
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152. OK. Would you...
excuse me for a minute?
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153. Mom, Mom? Mom, I'm scared.
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154. Maybe we should call the doctor.
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155. Well, a lightning
strike is serious
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156. and he is acting differently.
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157. - Fran.
- Ah!
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158. If you and Charlene wish to talk,
perhaps I should serve... dinner.
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159. On the other hand, sometimes a
"wait and see" approach is best.
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160. Yeah.
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161. Well, this is some lousy
run of luck I'm having.
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162. I stubbed my toe,
cut myself shaving,
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163. and undergo a spiritual
transference with a tree.
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164. Sheesh, what are the odds?
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165. - Pretty freaky yesterday
with Earl.
- Yeah.
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166. - Think he'll get
his memory back?
- Well, if he doesn't...
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167. that's 20 bucks I don't
owe him anymore.
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168. I heard that. You still
owe me that money...
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169. with interest!
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170. Gus! Hey, I'm talking to you!
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171. Why doesn't anybody hear me?
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172. I told you he was acting weird.
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173. Hey, you heard me.
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174. It's like he doesn't
remember a thing.
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175. It must've been the lightning.
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176. - Yes.
- Ah.
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177. Oh, swell, I got a bird living on
me and a squirrel living in me.
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178. I think I'm gonna be sick.
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179. You won't get sick
as long as I'm here.
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180. I eat the insects which
would harm your leaves.
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181. I eat bugs and parasites which
would infect your pulpy core.
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182. Sounds like you need a hobby.
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183. And in return, you'll give
us sustenance and shelter.
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184. That's how this ecosystem works.
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185. Plants and animals
living in perfect harmony.
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186. Isn't that beautiful?
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187. Help, get me outta here!
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188. - Oh, they can't hear you.
- Why not?
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189. Oh, simple, look at them.
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190. Look how they treat
the world around them.
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191. They've lost their
respect for nature.
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192. They've lost their place in
the community of living things.
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193. - They have nothing.
- They have doughnuts.
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194. Hey, look who's back.
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195. - Oh.
- Bye bye.
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196. Oh, to move, to be free.
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197. How wondrous it
is to be a dinosaur.
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198. - Well, I'm up 20 bucks.
- Yep.
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199. Gus, how you nourish
me with your friendship.
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200. Let us embrace.
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201. Don't come near
me, you fat lunatic.
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202. Come on, he's giving
me the creeps, move.
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203. Ah, Gus.
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204. How you help me
understand myself.
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205. So, I am a fat lunatic
that gives creeps.
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206. - Uh-huh.
- Good. Huh.
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207. But I still do not know why
you have brought me here.
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208. Oh, you're here
to push down trees.
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209. I beg your pardon?
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210. It's our job. That's why they
call us tree pushers. I think.
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211. Tree pushers? They might
as well call us murderers.
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212. Yeah, they could do that, but
what would they call murderers?
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213. But, this is madness.
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214. Look at this great tree.
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215. This proud sentinel
of the wilderness
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216. living bound to
it's earth and sky.
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217. How could anyone push this down?
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218. Well, actually, no one could. That's
why Mr. Richfield ordered some dynamite.
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219. - We're gonna blow it up
tomorrow.
- Dynamite?
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220. Dynamite?
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221. No!
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222. "And so the tree was
marked for destruction."
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223. And they lived happily
ever after, the end.
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224. - No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
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225. I see more pages.
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226. - Footnotes.
- Lying to the baby.
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227. Oh, look. There's more.
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228. "The tree pusher could not
bear to see the tree destroyed.
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229. So, he went to see
the one dinosaur
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230. who could save the tree's life."
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231. Are you the one
called, Richfield?
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232. Huh?
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233. You must stop the tree
pushing, my misguided friend.
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234. - It is wrong.
- Wrong?
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235. Sinclair have you
lost your marbles?
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236. I had marbles?
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237. Again, I am grateful
for such information.
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238. Perhaps another time you can tell me
how many and what beautiful colors...
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239. Shut up! You're
giving me the willies!
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240. Now get your babbling
green butt out that door
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241. and knock down those trees!
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242. No.
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243. It is a crime against nature.
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244. An act of spiritual
and moral bankruptcy.
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245. Bankruptcy? Are you
nuts? We're raking it in!
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246. Good heavens.
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247. You actually take
pleasure in killing trees.
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248. You are a grinning
messenger of death.
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249. I enjoy my work.
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250. I can see I am
wasting my time here.
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251. But, take heed...
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252. your murderous days are
numbered. The life force is on my side.
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253. And I will not rest
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254. until the destruction of
the forest is at an end.
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255. Well, we'll just see about that.
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256. Did you have a nice day at work?
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257. Oh, sadness coils around
my heart like a serpent.
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258. Some days are like that.
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259. I found out what
I do for a living.
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260. I am the agent of
iniquity and death.
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261. They gave you
Mr. Richfield's job?
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262. Don't you understand?
I push down trees.
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263. As we speak, they're
falling by the hundreds.
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264. I tried to rally my fellow workers,
but none would heed my call.
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265. Earl, I don't get this.
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266. You've been pushing
down trees for 20 years.
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267. And now it must end.
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268. Dinosaurs must learn to
show respect for all living things.
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269. This plant is dead.
Where can I chuck it?
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270. Good heavens.
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271. Has everyone gone mad?
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272. What are you doing with him?
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273. Well, Mom told me
to clean up my room,
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274. and "he" was too big to flush.
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275. He is not dead.
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276. Let me speak with him.
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277. What has she done with you?
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278. No water in a month?
No direct sunlight?
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279. - Oops.
- Earl.
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280. Let him finish!
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281. She has not spoken to you?
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282. For shame!
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283. I... was...
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284. Have courage, little fellow.
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285. You will flourish. For you are
like no other living creature.
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286. Repeat after me.
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287. "I am special."
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288. He is crazy!
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289. Charlene, why
don't you get that?
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290. With pleasure.
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291. Earl, your behavior has
become rather eccentric lately.
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292. At first, the change
was refreshing,
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293. but now you're weirding me out.
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294. I understand your concern,
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295. but there is an explanation for
this that will put your mind at rest.
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296. I... am a tree.
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297. You are out of your tree.
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298. - Yes!
- Hmm?
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299. When lightning hit your husband,
he was trying to push me down.
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300. Somehow, our souls
switched places.
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301. Uh... huh.
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302. And did you mention this
tree business to anyone else?
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303. OK, which one
of you's the birch?
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304. I am a willow.
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305. Whatever. Slip on
the jacket, lumber boy.
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306. - We're going for a ride.
- Yeah.
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307. - Wait a minute!
- Now, don't you worry, ma'am.
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308. Mr. Richfield's made
all the arrangements.
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309. - Where are you taking him?
- Don't worry about me.
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310. You have to save the trees.
Do it for your husband, Fran.
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311. He's still out there,
there isn't much time!
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312. Hasta la vista, baby.
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313. Oh, my! Oh, my!
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314. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
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315. Do you mind keeping it
down? I'm having a rough day.
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316. My eggs. They're hatching.
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317. Hmm? Oh! Well, I
should do something.
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318. - What should I do?
- You're doing it.
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319. What? I'm just standing
here, holding the nest up.
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320. - Exactly.
- Oh... I see.
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321. I'm part of this.
I'm protecting them.
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322. - Keeping them safe
from predators.
- Mmm.
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323. Now you're starting
to sound like a tree.
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324. - Oh.
- Ah.
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325. Oh, they're cute.
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326. You know, this ecosystem thing's
beginning to make some sense to me.
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327. I'm part of a vast
living system.
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328. Think this is enough dynamite?
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329. The part that's
about to get blown up!
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330. They're gonna blow the tree up?
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331. Doesn't look good.
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332. What about the baby
birdies and the little furry guy?
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333. The tree was very worried
about his new friends.
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334. Birdies? Mr. Squirrel?
You gotta get out.
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335. All these trees are coming down.
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336. They're knocking down
all the trees? What for?
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337. To build new homes.
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338. But, these trees are homes.
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339. Not for dinosaurs.
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340. We live here.
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341. You know about the ecosystem,
but I know about dinosaurs.
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342. If you're in their way,
they'll get rid of you.
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343. But, if we go, what
happens to you?
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344. Don't worry about me, just go.
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345. Go on, fly away! Go, hurry.
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346. Good luck, guys.
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347. Good luck.
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348. - Earl?
- Hmm?
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349. Are you in there?
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350. Earl? It's me, Fran.
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351. Fran! Fran, I'm over here!
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352. Fran! Here, behind you!
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353. - Turn around.
- Earl. Are you in there?
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354. No, no! I'm over here!
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355. Oh, please, Fran,
you gotta hear me.
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356. Frannie!
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357. Uh. What am I doing?
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358. My husband's not a tree.
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359. He's lost his mind.
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360. I just have to go
home and deal with it.
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361. Huh? Hello?
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362. Is someone there?
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363. Earl!
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364. Oh, Earl! It is you!
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365. Oh.
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366. Oh, Fran. Oh, my Frannie.
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367. Oh, Gus.
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368. I know what you must think,
but this is not a tree. It's Earl!
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369. You have to believe me!
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370. - And we do, Mrs. Sinclair.
- Yes.
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371. We surely do.
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372. Maybe we can talk about it over
here, away from the high explosives.
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373. Take your hands off her!
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374. - Huh?
- Earl, what happened?
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375. I threw a sink through
the window and escaped.
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376. Do not touch this tree.
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377. Oh, no, not the messenger
of death routine again?
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378. Come on. Richfield's gonna be
mad if we don't blow up the tree
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379. - before the storm hits.
- Yeah.
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380. No.
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381. If you insist on
murdering this tree,
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382. then you will
have to kill me, too.
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383. Huh?
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384. - Sorry, Earl. A job's a job.
- True.
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385. Earl!
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386. Be brave, Fran.
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387. I can feel your husband's
soul within this tree
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388. and it is filled with courage.
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389. Mommy!
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390. Oh!
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391. Hold it! Wait a second.
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392. Lightning hit the
same tree... twice?
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393. It's a fable.
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394. OK, just checking.
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395. - Oh, geez, not again.
- Earl?
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396. Oh! Earl.
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397. My Earl.
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398. Fran? Fran, is that you?
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399. What are you doing here?
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400. Earl, it's you. You're back.
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401. Fran, what's going on?
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402. Don't you remember?
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403. I remember Mr. Richfield
asked to push down some tree.
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404. - Then it's all kind of blank.
- But, you were in the tree.
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405. - And the tree was you.
- What?
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406. Oh, my goodness.
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407. The tree.
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408. Well, that's one less
tree for me to worry about.
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409. Earl, that wasn't just a tree.
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410. You're telling me? That was
a hernia waiting to happen.
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411. Come on, Fran, I got a headache.
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412. Let's go home.
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413. "There is a time when each
of us shall return to the earth.
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414. This was the tree's time."
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415. Come on, Fran.
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416. "But it was nature
who decided so,
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417. nature and not the dinosaur.
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418. The end."
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419. Beautiful story, isn't it?
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420. Stupid.
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421. Oh. And why would you say that?
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422. The tree pusher, he
didn't learn anything.
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423. Stupid!
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424. But did you learn something?
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425. - Yeah.
- Good.
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426. Now, go to sleep.
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427. Oh, OK. Come on, Snookie.
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428. Oh!
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429. Good story!
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