1. - Oh. Hi, Robbie!
- Oh. Hey, Caroline.Copy !req
2. "Hey, Caroline." Only two words.Copy !req
3. And yet in those two simple
words you said... nothing.Copy !req
4. You just don't appreciate the kind of
relationship that Caroline and I share.Copy !req
5. - It's a deep
and spiritual connection.
- Kissed her yet?Copy !req
6. OK, you made
your point. Help me?Copy !req
7. Well, just a thought here.Copy !req
8. Perhaps you should try
escalating the relationship.Copy !req
9. If only there was some opportunity
for the two of you to get romantic.Copy !req
10. Ah, look.Copy !req
11. A dance! Great. It's the
perfect romantic setting.Copy !req
12. Now, I just have to wait for
the right moment to ask her.Copy !req
13. Ah, that would be now.Copy !req
14. Hmm?Copy !req
15. Ah, they grow up so fast.Copy !req
16. - Um, hey, Caroline!
- Hmm? Oh! Hi, Robbie.Copy !req
17. - Hi. Um...
- Uh...Copy !req
18. Um, listen, um, I, I
was thinking about...Copy !req
19. certain events coming up.Copy !req
20. - Mmm-hmm.
- And well, it,
it occurred to me that,Copy !req
21. - should the idea
appeal to you...
- Yes?Copy !req
22. You might give some thought
to possibly considering...Copy !req
23. Ohh...Copy !req
24. - Yo, babe...
- Uh, hi, Dolf.Copy !req
25. Uhh...Copy !req
26. - Oh, wow. Isn't he amazing?
- I beg your pardon?Copy !req
27. Oh, look at him. He's like some
magnificent living sculpture, you know.Copy !req
28. Yeah, he's OK. But I mean...Copy !req
29. I can't believe that just
came out of my mouth.Copy !req
30. Oh, promise you won't
tell a soul what I said.Copy !req
31. - I'd die if anyone
found out. Promise?
- Uh, yeah. OK. All right.Copy !req
32. Oh, thanks. Oh, I
knew I could trust you.Copy !req
33. You are a real friend.Copy !req
34. Friend, friend,
friend, friend...Copy !req
35. What the heck was that?Copy !req
36. We laughed, we talked, we
checked out guys together.Copy !req
37. - Pathetic.
- No. No, it's good.Copy !req
38. It makes me feel special
to know that somewhere,Copy !req
39. deep in the heart of the one I
love, I'm considered one of the girls.Copy !req
40. Ahhh...Copy !req
41. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
42. Aaah!Copy !req
43. - Ohh!
- Ow!Copy !req
44. - Ow!
- Ooh!Copy !req
45. Aah!Copy !req
46. Boy, that must be
some interesting page.Copy !req
47. You've only been
reading it for an hour.Copy !req
48. If I had a problem, and I
needed to get perspectiveCopy !req
49. - on the female point of view...
- Yeah?Copy !req
50. Is it possible that you and I
could have an honest exchange?Copy !req
51. I'll give you five bucks.Copy !req
52. Ah, I'm here for you.Copy !req
53. Here it is. What is it
that you look for in a guy?Copy !req
54. Oh! It's like one of those
fashion magazine quizzes?Copy !req
55. - Uhh...
- Great. OK, let's see.Copy !req
56. - He's gotta have
dimples. And, um...
- OK.Copy !req
57. He's gotta look like the star of one
of those teenage zip code shows.Copy !req
58. You know, with the bulging
muscles and cool ripped clothing.Copy !req
59. And a hot name
like Deke or Zack.Copy !req
60. Yeah, those are
all surface things.Copy !req
61. I mean, what about
sensitivity, honesty, integrity?Copy !req
62. Integrity. Well, that's kind of
neat. But it's not a deal breaker.Copy !req
63. But don't girls
care about brains?Copy !req
64. Yeah. I guess they
do if they're pushing 30Copy !req
65. and way desperate for a skinny
geek who can make a decent living.Copy !req
66. Wait a minute!Copy !req
67. "Skinny geek." This
is about you, isn't it?Copy !req
68. No, no...Copy !req
69. - Yeah. You're feeling
inadequate as a male.
- I'm curious. Jeez.Copy !req
70. - All right! OK. You're dead.
- Help! Chicken boy is after me!Copy !req
71. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll show you chicken boy!Copy !req
72. Hey, come back here!Copy !req
73. - Hey, I want
my five bucks back.
- What is going on here?Copy !req
74. Robbie's trying to figure out why
girls don't go for wimpy eggheads!Copy !req
75. That's no reason to fight.Copy !req
76. - I mean, isn't
the answer obvious?
- Hmm?Copy !req
77. Earl, not all girls are
interested in physical specimens.Copy !req
78. Some are looking for boys
who share their special interests,Copy !req
79. who speak and dress nicely,
and who treat them with respect.Copy !req
80. You're talking about
ugly girls, right?Copy !req
81. I, I appreciate the thought, Mom,
but the girl of my dreams ignores meCopy !req
82. because I don't happen to
be a grotesque wall of meat.Copy !req
83. - Maybe she's not
the girl for you.
- My life stinks.Copy !req
84. - Yeah.
- Yeah. Get over it.Copy !req
85. Story of my life.Copy !req
86. Earl, can't you be a
little more sympathetic?Copy !req
87. It seems to me you had a similar
experience when you were in school.Copy !req
88. Perhaps what you learned back then
may be of some help to Robbie now.Copy !req
89. Mmm, nope.Copy !req
90. I only remember as far
back as last night's dinner.Copy !req
91. Then remember it well.Copy !req
92. It may be the last
meal I ever cook for you.Copy !req
93. And so you see, Son.Copy !req
94. No matter what the species,
there is one universal truthCopy !req
95. that governs the intimate relationships
amongst all living creatures...Copy !req
96. Chicks dig big guys.Copy !req
97. Thanks for bringing
my misery into focus.Copy !req
98. Oh, no thanks necessary.Copy !req
99. The point is that you,
too, could be a big guy.Copy !req
100. - Yeah.
- I myself was once
as scrawny as you.Copy !req
101. - I find that hard to believe.
- I knew you would.Copy !req
102. That's why I brought
my high school yearbook.Copy !req
103. Here, take a look.Copy !req
104. Let's see. Hmm...Copy !req
105. Whoop! Here it is.Copy !req
106. This is a picture of me
in my sophomore year.Copy !req
107. - This is you?
- You bet.Copy !req
108. "Earl Sinclair.
Bean pole, pencil neck,Copy !req
109. voted 'most likely to slip
through a sewer grate'"?Copy !req
110. Yep. I was quite the runt.Copy !req
111. But I buckled down, lifted weights,
and sweated like a wild boar.Copy !req
112. And look at me now.Copy !req
113. So, what you're saying, Dad,
is with a little perseveranceCopy !req
114. I can go from a spindly geek
to a heaping mass of lard?Copy !req
115. - Uh, no offense.
- Oh, none taken, chicken boy.Copy !req
116. Because between that
puny high school ladCopy !req
117. and what you see
today, there was...Copy !req
118. this!Copy !req
119. You, you think I could build
myself up the way you did?Copy !req
120. Of course you can!Copy !req
121. Because you have the very
same qualities that I had as a lad.Copy !req
122. - Yeah?
- You have the drive...Copy !req
123. - Yeah.
- You have determination...Copy !req
124. - Yeah!
- And you have no social lifeCopy !req
125. - that'll cut into
your exercise time.
- Yeah. So when do we start?Copy !req
126. Uh, not good.Copy !req
127. Well, there's no
way to go but up.Copy !req
128. Thirty-five, 36...Copy !req
129. Up, up, up, up. Up, up...Copy !req
130. one, 42, 43.Copy !req
131. Thirty-two, 33...Copy !req
132. sixty-four, 65, 66...Copy !req
133. A-ha! What an improvement.Copy !req
134. - Very impressive.
- Yeah.Copy !req
135. - OK.
- Ta-da!Copy !req
136. Well, go ahead, Dad. Fill it in.Copy !req
137. - I did.
- Huh?Copy !req
138. See. You're a
quarter inch bigger.Copy !req
139. A quarter inch?Copy !req
140. I've been working out for weeksCopy !req
141. and all I have to show
for it is a quarter inch?Copy !req
142. Well, not actually
a full quarter inch.Copy !req
143. - I rounded it up.
- From what?Copy !req
144. - From nothing.
- Nothing?Copy !req
145. Hey, hey, hey! You can't
expect results right away.Copy !req
146. It's going to take
four or five years.Copy !req
147. But you can do it because you've got
the unwavering devotion to go the distance!Copy !req
148. I quit. Five years, he says. By
then Caroline and Dolf will be marriedCopy !req
149. with a house full of
baby bodybuilders.Copy !req
150. Now, now. Remember, your
puniness is but one of theCopy !req
151. many endearing qualities
that makes you unique.Copy !req
152. - Yeah.
- You are who you are.Copy !req
153. Oh, that's so sweet. I
never dreamed I'd hearCopy !req
154. the same advice from
both you and my mom.Copy !req
155. Hey. Besides, guys like Dolf
have an unfair advantage.Copy !req
156. - What unfair advantage?
- Thornoids.Copy !req
157. - What are thornoids?
- Uh, uh! You don't know?Copy !req
158. No. Will they help
me? What are they?Copy !req
159. Well, interestingly enough,
they're something that...Copy !req
160. doesn't really exist, and
I just made up the word.Copy !req
161. Just a little game that
I play to amuse myself.Copy !req
162. - Uh, see ya.
- Uh, hey! Wait a minute!Copy !req
163. Hey. Forget it, Scooter.
Thornoids aren't for you.Copy !req
164. But I just want to know why
these other guys are so big.Copy !req
165. Now, come on, tell
me, what are thornoids?Copy !req
166. All right.Copy !req
167. They are these little, spiny
things that some guys eatCopy !req
168. because they're supposed
to increase muscle mass.Copy !req
169. - May I go now?
- Hey, wait a sec'.Copy !req
170. How do they work?
Where do I get them?Copy !req
171. You don't get 'em, you don't want
'em, you don't need 'em. The end.Copy !req
172. - But I, I...
- Ah! Close it.Copy !req
173. And don't ever
touch my jacket again.Copy !req
174. Yeah.Copy !req
175. Oh! Uh...Copy !req
176. - Hey, tough guy,
see if you can eat me!
- Yeah! Eat me!Copy !req
177. Your momma!Copy !req
178. Oh, come on, you knucklehead.
You're not so big. I'll take you on.Copy !req
179. You're funny. Aah.Copy !req
180. And now you're gone.Copy !req
181. Ahhh.Copy !req
182. Big, muscle-bound oaf!Copy !req
183. Oh, good.Copy !req
184. - Hey. Turn out that light.
- What are you lookin' at?Copy !req
185. You got a problem,
you puny runt?Copy !req
186. - Chicken!
- Wussy!Copy !req
187. I'm surprised you can lift
me, you weasely little wimp!Copy !req
188. Listen. Do you guys really work?
Can you really make me stronger?Copy !req
189. Oh, make me stronger. Make
me stronger! You're pathetic!Copy !req
190. Go home and take a
nap, ya mama's boy.Copy !req
191. - Wimp!
- Weenie-boy!Copy !req
192. Come on and eat me! I'm getting
tired of sitting around and waiting.Copy !req
193. All right. Fine.
Uh, here it goes.Copy !req
194. You call these jaw muscles?
There's nothing but flab in here!Copy !req
195. - You make me sick!
- Ugh...Copy !req
196. - Betcha can't eat just one!
- Aah...Copy !req
197. Come on. Want to try
some strained peas?Copy !req
198. - Wanna see me paint with it?
- Eat them.Copy !req
199. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
200. Hey! I'll get it.Copy !req
201. Now, sweetheart, don't you want
to grow up big and strong like...Copy !req
202. well, like your brother, Robbie.Copy !req
203. - You mean, chicken boy?
- Somebody call me?Copy !req
204. - Whoa. Oh, Robbie. You're buff.
- Yeah.Copy !req
205. My exercise program paid off.Copy !req
206. Ooh, wanna be big
and strong like Robbie.Copy !req
207. Give me peas. Where's my spoon?Copy !req
208. It's stuck behind the
refrigerator. Gone forever.Copy !req
209. - That's the end of it.
- Hey, hey, hey. I'll get it.Copy !req
210. Now, son, let's not
get too ambitious.Copy !req
211. You've been working out and
making progress, but it's gonna take...Copy !req
212. Whoa!Copy !req
213. What, Dad?Copy !req
214. Well, I could
have done that too.Copy !req
215. - Yeah.
- Wow.Copy !req
216. - Gimme, gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
- Here ya go, little fella.Copy !req
217. Robbie, that was amazing.Copy !req
218. Hey, that was nothing.Copy !req
219. Listen, if you guys want
other large appliances moved,Copy !req
220. just let me know. I can
always use the workout.Copy !req
221. Well, uh, stick with
those exercises, son.Copy !req
222. Yep.Copy !req
223. Whoa!Copy !req
224. Whew. Oh, dear.Copy !req
225. He forgot to move
the refrigerator back.Copy !req
226. Oh! Not a problem, little lady.Copy !req
227. For what the student can
do, surely his teacher can do.Copy !req
228. Whoa. Jeez...Copy !req
229. - Huh?
- Hey. Yo, Caroline!Copy !req
230. Oh, Robbie. What
happened to you?Copy !req
231. I had a little growth spurt.
You like what you see?Copy !req
232. - Well, sure.
- Yeah?Copy !req
233. It's just that I'm in the
middle of something right now.Copy !req
234. No, no, this won't take long.
How'd you like to be the lucky girlCopy !req
235. who gets to go to the dance
with me on Saturday night?Copy !req
236. - Go with you? Well, this is a surprise.
- Yeah.Copy !req
237. It's just... I think Dolf
is going to ask me.Copy !req
238. Well, how do you know?Copy !req
239. He's trying to finish
his sentence right now.Copy !req
240. - Hmm?
- To the dance with me?Copy !req
241. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Listen,
uh, I asked her first.Copy !req
242. - So what time should
I pick you up?
- Hey, jerk!Copy !req
243. She's going with me.Copy !req
244. You know, you really shouldn't
hang out with these goons.Copy !req
245. Whoa!Copy !req
246. Oh. Dolf fall down, go boom.Copy !req
247. See you Saturday? Yeah.Copy !req
248. - About time!
- We're dying in here!Copy !req
249. When was the last time
you washed your clothes?Copy !req
250. - Yeah. Yeah.
- What do you care? You're history.Copy !req
251. Well, what do we have here?Copy !req
252. A walking house?
No. It's Sinclair.Copy !req
253. What are ya doing?
Retaining water?Copy !req
254. It's all muscle, Spike. I've
been working out, ya know.Copy !req
255. No doubt. And I suspect
you've had a little change in diet.Copy !req
256. - What do you mean by that?
- Hey. Don't try
and kid a kidder.Copy !req
257. - You're doin' the big T.
- How's that?Copy !req
258. Swallowing spines.Copy !req
259. Riding the wild 'noids.
Popping porcupines.Copy !req
260. Whoa, whoa. Are you
saying I'm doin' thornoids?Copy !req
261. Well, you're way off base, bud.Copy !req
262. Yeah? Then where
did these come from?Copy !req
263. The spike fairy? I'd say
they look suspiciously likeCopy !req
264. the unpleasant physical side
effects of thornoid consumption.Copy !req
265. Oh, yeah? Well,
you've got spikes too.Copy !req
266. Yeah. And I came by mine
naturally. Have you met my mother?Copy !req
267. You know, I'd really like to
hear about your charming family,Copy !req
268. but I got a life.Copy !req
269. Come on, hurry it up!Copy !req
270. I'm rinsing out a few things!Copy !req
271. I have to get
ready for the dance.Copy !req
272. Oh, let's see. What's
more important?Copy !req
273. Your big date or
my unmentionables?Copy !req
274. Sorry. Fine washables win!Copy !req
275. - Let me in there now!
- Get lost!Copy !req
276. Oh! Oh. Uh, it's all yours,Copy !req
277. big bloated brother.Copy !req
278. Oh, you left your
wet stuff in here.Copy !req
279. I don't want to look
at your wet stuff.Copy !req
280. Oh! Whoa!Copy !req
281. You're crazy! What's
the matter with you?Copy !req
282. Huh?Copy !req
283. A little to the
left. To the right.Copy !req
284. Too far. Back, back.Copy !req
285. That way.Copy !req
286. Nuh-uh. The other
way. Missed it.Copy !req
287. Cut that out!Copy !req
288. Whoa! Oh, thank goodness. There's
my enormous chip off the old block.Copy !req
289. How 'bout giving me
a hand with this fridge?Copy !req
290. How 'bout not? Why don't
you move your own refrigerator?Copy !req
291. - It's your food anyway, chubby.
- Chubby.Copy !req
292. Robbie! What's gotten into you?Copy !req
293. Chubby? Let me
tell you something.Copy !req
294. You are not too big for
me to teach you a lesson!Copy !req
295. Oh!Copy !req
296. Gee, I think maybe I am.Copy !req
297. Tell him, Chicken boy!Copy !req
298. - What did you call me?
- Nothing.Copy !req
299. Uh, uh! Hey! That's my rattle!Copy !req
300. - What are you doing?
- Oops.Copy !req
301. You're not leaving until
you tell me what's going on?Copy !req
302. Where did those
spikes come from?Copy !req
303. I'd love to chew the fat, Mom,
but I'm going to the dance now.Copy !req
304. No need to wait up, fat boy.Copy !req
305. You ask her to
dance, and then...Copy !req
306. I'm glad we got outta there.Copy !req
307. I can't stand those chaperons
giving me the evil eye.Copy !req
308. They wouldn't be if you hadn't
dumped the punch on that kid's head.Copy !req
309. - He was putting
the moves on you.
- He asked if I knew the time.Copy !req
310. Nobody talks to you
like that while I'm around.Copy !req
311. - Oh.
- But, uh, speaking of time,Copy !req
312. Ooh, isn't it about
time for a kiss?Copy !req
313. - Uh... Ow!
- What! What!Copy !req
314. - Those spikes! They're sharp.
- Hey, love hurts.Copy !req
315. I don't know what's wrong
with you, but maybe I should go.Copy !req
316. Hey! What kind of game is this?Copy !req
317. You wanted a guy
with muscles, right?Copy !req
318. Well, I went out and I got
'em. I'm as big as Dolf now.Copy !req
319. - Is that what you
want to be? Dolf?
- That's what you like, right?Copy !req
320. You never went out with
me when I was skinny.Copy !req
321. - You never asked me.
- I never thought you liked me.Copy !req
322. - Well, I did.
- Hmm?Copy !req
323. - But I don't anymore.
- OK, look, we'll just talk.Copy !req
324. - Oh, right.
- Hey, I said I want to talk.Copy !req
325. Stop it! Don't touch me.
What's the matter with you?Copy !req
326. He ate something that
didn't agree with him.Copy !req
327. - Huh?
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
328. I came for the punch, but
somebody had spilled it.Copy !req
329. And Caroline, so good to see you. I
think you should head back to the gym.Copy !req
330. There's some sort of
crisis with the decorations.Copy !req
331. Oh. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
332. I had a great date
going and you blew it!Copy !req
333. For future reference,
when a girl says,Copy !req
334. "Don't touch me" and runs
away, that's a bad date.Copy !req
335. Face it, pal. You're making
enemies out of everyone.Copy !req
336. Yeah? Well, lucky for
me I can take everyone.Copy !req
337. - Yeah. Starting
with the girls, I see.
- I've had about enough of you.Copy !req
338. - Yeah?
- Yeah!Copy !req
339. Oops.Copy !req
340. I think there's a problem
with those spikes.Copy !req
341. Hey, get me out of here!Copy !req
342. No, no. I know you're
a very busy guy.Copy !req
343. What with alienating
everyone on the continent.Copy !req
344. I'll rip you apart!Copy !req
345. Whoo!Copy !req
346. No, you're gonna hang there
and listen to what I have to say.Copy !req
347. - Never!
- Do you admit
you're eating thornoids?Copy !req
348. Yeah. So what if I am?
Look at the body they got me!Copy !req
349. Yeah. And look at
what it's costing you.Copy !req
350. Caroline doesn't
want to be with you.Copy !req
351. Your family thinks
you're psycho.Copy !req
352. And I've just about had it
with you touching my jacket.Copy !req
353. Thanks for the lecture,
Mom. Now, get me out of here!Copy !req
354. - Ummm, uh, no.
- What?Copy !req
355. I'm gonna leave you stuck there.
At least until the thornoids wear off.Copy !req
356. - Should happen by morning.
- You can't just leave me here!Copy !req
357. Tut, tut. You oughta know
me better than that, Scooter.Copy !req
358. I'm gonna sit right here and
watch your muscles fall off.Copy !req
359. Well, look at that. You
fit through the door again.Copy !req
360. Don't shout. My head's hurting.Copy !req
361. Ah, that would be
a thornoid hangover.Copy !req
362. Don't worry, it gets better.Copy !req
363. After it gets a lot worse!Copy !req
364. How could it be worse than this?Copy !req
365. Well, you could suddenly remember
how you treated Caroline last night.Copy !req
366. Oh, and the worst part is,Copy !req
367. she actually liked me
the way I was before.Copy !req
368. Do you think I'll ever
have a chance with her?Copy !req
369. Oh, Caroline's
pretty understanding.Copy !req
370. You let some time pass, you
give her some space, and I'd say...Copy !req
371. - not a chance!
- Jeez...Copy !req
372. Hey, Scooter, but seriously,
look on the bright side.Copy !req
373. You've still got your
whole family to apologize to.Copy !req
374. Yeah. Fine. Bring 'em in one
at a time or in small groups.Copy !req
375. Check. Ah! Well, here's
a small group now.Copy !req
376. - Hmm?
- Yo.Copy !req
377. Oh! Um, sorry to interrupt
you, my muscular son.Copy !req
378. You go ahead with whatever
important thing you were doing,Copy !req
379. and I'll have my breakfast
out in the back yard.Copy !req
380. No, Dad, wait. Um,
I, I want to talk to you.Copy !req
381. Um... Listen, I did a
stupid thing, and I'm sorry.Copy !req
382. Robbie! You stopped
exercising, didn't you?Copy !req
383. - Uh...
- Yeah. That's right.Copy !req
384. No more exercising
for Robbie. I'll just, uh...Copy !req
385. I'm sorry for everything I said. I'll
do anything to make it up to you.Copy !req
386. - Anything, huh?
- Anything.Copy !req
387. Would you...Copy !req
388. - move the fridge for me?
- Uh...Copy !req
389. Well, I'm glad to try, Dad.Copy !req
390. But, uh, I think I'll
need some help.Copy !req
391. - No, no. Allow me.
- Huh?Copy !req
392. Ahh... Hmm.Copy !req
393. Sheesh.Copy !req
394. What?Copy !req
395. I made it lighter.Copy !req