1. Honey, I'm home.
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2. I assume everybody
read the chapter
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3. on dissection last night.
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4. Any questions?
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5. Uh... mine's moving.
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6. They're all moving,
Mr. Sinclair.
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7. That's your guarantee
of freshness.
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8. I don't understand
why we have to kill
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9. a dumb, defenseless animal.
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10. The miracle of life
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11. is as complex
as it is beautiful.
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12. To fully understand it,
we need to rip its guts out.
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13. All right, class,
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14. please uncover
your specimens now.
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15. Uh... uh...
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16. Oh, boy. OK.
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17. Uh...
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18. Aw, jeez.
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19. All right. I'll come around
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20. and put each animal
to sleep painlessly.
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21. Huh?
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22. Do mine! Do mine!
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23. You know what's
happening, don't you?
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24. OK, think.
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25. Out the window. Yes!
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26. OK, come on. Now's your chance.
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27. Get out of here!
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28. Oh! Oh!
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29. Go. Be free. Come on.
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30. Uh-oh.
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31. Forget the window. Get down.
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32. OK, OK, OK.
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33. Uh...
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34. - Oh, hi.
- Where is your specimen?
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35. Gee, I left the window open,
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36. and mine sort of got away.
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37. Whoops. I'll be
staying after school?
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38. Oh, yeah.
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39. Mr. Sinclair, by allowing your
science project to get away,
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40. you have denied yourself
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41. a valuable learning experience.
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42. It is these experiences
which develop in us
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43. the primary trait
which separates us
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44. from insects and cavemen.
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45. The ability to reason.
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46. Well, what do you think it is?
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47. I have no idea. It
says "suggestions."
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48. Well, I could use a suggestion.
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49. What's it saying?
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50. Nothing yet.
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51. Hello? This is Roy.
What do you suggest?
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52. I suggest that you
are a complete idiot!
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53. OK, your turn.
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54. Do I have to explain everything?
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55. Yes, sir. Apparently so.
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56. Look, the head office thinks
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57. we can benefit from
listening to our employees.
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58. But we know better, right, sir?
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59. Yeah, we do. Nevertheless,
should the day come
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60. when you actually have
a thought in your head,
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61. put it in the box!
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62. I don't think I can get
my head in that box.
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63. Write the idea on
a piece of paper
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64. and put the paper in the box!
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65. Oh!
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66. Jeez.
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67. Easy for him to say.
He's got the directions.
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68. Well, I suggest a simpler box.
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69. It's a trap, Fran.
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70. It says "suggestions," but
it may as well say "trap."
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71. Aw, Earl, if you came up
with a good suggestion,
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72. maybe you could get a promotion.
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73. Fran, my naive little cupcake,
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74. oblivious to ways
of the workplace.
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75. Look, look! Look, look!
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76. - Uh...
- Huh?
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77. Fran, if I put a
suggestion in the box,
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78. it means I had an idea.
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79. If I had an idea, it means
I had to think all day.
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80. If I'm thinking,
I'm not working.
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81. If there's a suggestion in
the box with my name on it,
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82. they've got proof.
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83. Trap!
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84. I can spot a trap in a second.
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85. Hey, Dad, every kid
should have a pet, right?
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86. Sure.
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87. - Get away! get away!
- Shh!
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88. Earl, if you want to get
anywhere with the company,
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89. you have to show
some initiative.
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90. I'm sure that's how
Mr. Richfield got where he is.
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91. Mr. Richfield got where
he is by eating his boss.
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92. Yoo-hoo, table monster.
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93. The dinosaur I married
was full of ideas.
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94. He'd have no trouble filling
up that suggestion box.
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95. What happened to
the dinosaur I married?
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96. He's dead, Fran. You killed him.
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97. Let him rest in peace
and eat his dinner.
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98. - Look!
- Shh!
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99. Uh-oh.
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100. Will you...? Huh?
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101. Um...
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102. Uh...
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103. And now I must turn
to you and say, "Huh?"
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104. Uh, he followed me home?
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105. Can we keep him? Please,
please, please, please.
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106. This is not a pet.
This is a wild animal.
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107. It's dirty, disgusting.
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108. It doesn't know
how to live indoors.
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109. Oh, come on, Dad.
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110. See?
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111. We'll wash him, and we'll
feed him and everything!
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112. You won't even know he's here.
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113. No! They breed like rabbits.
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114. If it wasn't for us being
around they'd overrun Earth.
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115. I would worry about the baby
being safe in the house with it.
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116. Baby toy, baby toy, baby toy!
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117. Oh, I like this.
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118. Oh, look. They're
playing together.
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119. It's like he's already
part of the family.
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120. I suggest you don't
get too attached.
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121. See, Earl? That's a suggestion.
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122. - You make good suggestions.
- Will you get off of that?
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123. I'll just bet if you
put your mind to it
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124. you could come
up with a great idea.
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125. I'll take that bet.
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126. Shouldn't we name him?
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127. What makes you sure
it's a him? Maybe it's a her.
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128. Look at it. How can you tell?
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129. Let's call it Tramp.
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130. How about Sparky?
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131. Yeah. Yeah.
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132. Sparky!
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133. And if you came
up with a good idea,
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134. Mr. Richfield might
finally appreciate you.
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135. I don't want Mr. Richfield
to appreciate me.
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136. I don't want Mr. Richfield
to even know I'm there.
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137. I just want to avoid
him for another 30 years
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138. and drop dead lifting
something heavy.
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139. That is my dream.
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140. - Earl Snead Sinclair!
- Here it comes.
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141. You can make a suggestion
and have to face Mr. Richfield
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142. or not make a suggestion...
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143. and have to face me.
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144. Your wives say that too?
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145. - Oh, yeah.
- Me too.
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146. You don't have a wife.
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147. Uh, my mother called.
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148. Oh, Roy.
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149. So the wives are saying,
"Make a suggestion."
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150. - "Get a promotion."
- "Put on a sweater."
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151. "Make something of yourself."
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152. - Are we gonna stand for that?
- No!
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153. Are we gonna be
scared of our wives?
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154. No!
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155. So long, guys.
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156. Back to work. They've gone.
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157. Got a pencil?
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158. - Over there by the box.
- Thanks.
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159. I am not scared of my wife,
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160. but it's best not
to antagonize her.
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161. You two!
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162. - Duh?
- Huh?
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163. Are you writing a suggestion?
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164. Get in here!
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165. Suggestions! Want 'em, now!
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166. - Well, I...
- Well, I...
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167. All right.
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168. Let me see which one of
you I want to hear from first!
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169. Oh, please, no, no, no.
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170. Not me, not me.
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171. Please, not me, not me, not me.
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172. I think...
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173. I pick...
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174. you!
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175. Ah! Whoa!
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176. Oh, boy.
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177. I hate it. You better have
something better than that.
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178. Well, I'm not sure that I can...
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179. Now!
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180. All right.
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181. "I think Friday should
be dress-up day."
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182. Perhaps it's in need
of some fine tuning.
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183. I want a real suggestion now!
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184. I... I... I...
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185. I... I... I... th-th-think!
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186. Cut it out.
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187. In order to encourage greater
productivity by the employees,
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188. some sort of incentive,
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189. like the guy who does
the best work each month
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190. could be the
employee of the month.
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191. His name could
go on a nice plaque.
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192. Wait! I'm getting an idea.
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193. An award!
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194. We'll call it "Employee
of the Month."
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195. - I like it.
- Yeah.
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196. And the winner will come
to my impressive estate
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197. and dine with me on a
banquet fit for... well, for me.
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198. It's a trip to the moon
on gossamer wings, sir.
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199. Yeah, and to save me the
trouble of having to look around,
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200. I'm appointing you the
first employee of the month.
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201. Oh! Oh!
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202. Oh! Oh!
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203. Would you be
embarrassed by a blubbering
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204. and effeminate
display of emotions, sir?
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205. All right, now this
dinner at my house...
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206. how about tomorrow?
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207. That's good for me, B.P.
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208. It's not good for me!
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209. I'm having my
bathroom re-grouted.
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210. So let's do it at your house.
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211. Problem?
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212. No, no, no!
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213. Mi casa es su casa.
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214. Ah. Two colleagues
conferring over dinner,
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215. exchanging ideas like equals,
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216. bonding without touching.
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217. Are you still here?
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218. Oh, yes. Right, sir.
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219. I better get back out there
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220. and keep sort of
a supervisory eye
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221. on all those
non-employees of the month.
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222. Yeah, yeah, get out.
Watch out for your, uh...
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223. Whoa!
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224. Friend. Ugh!
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225. Sheesh. Did I actually
faint in front of the big boss?
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226. Something miraculous
has happened to me,
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227. something that will alter
the very course of my life.
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228. Well, at least my bladder held.
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229. After 20 years of
knocking down trees,
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230. I'm finally on my way up.
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231. So it's been a good
day for both of us. Yeah.
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232. And here, we are
lucky enough to witness
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233. the rarely seen
human mating ritual.
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234. We sought to gently
control the specimen
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235. with a tranquilizer gun.
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236. Hmm! Huh!
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237. Phil tags the ear
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238. and releases the
slightly confused biped
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239. back into the wild
for future study.
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240. It's almost as if
they can think.
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241. They actually have large brains.
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242. It's right here in the
Big Book of Cavemen.
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243. - See?
- Huh.
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244. Yo-ho, yo-ho! The mighty
megalosaurus returns
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245. to home and hearth with news.
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246. Ask me. Ask me.
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247. Yech! Not on the mouth.
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248. Now, Sparky, sit.
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249. At least somebody
knows how to greet
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250. an up-and-coming executive.
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251. Earl, what happened?
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252. What happened? Gather
round, dependents.
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253. I'll tell you what
happened to Daddy
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254. that will dramatically
alter our standard of living.
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255. - Upward?
- Through the roof.
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256. Oh, Daddy, Daddy,
let me get your slippers.
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257. Give me those!
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258. Come on. Hurry up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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259. It was a remarkable moment.
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260. Mr. Richfield and I
were in conference,
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261. when I had an idea of
such dazzling brilliance
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262. that I walked out
of the meeting...
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263. employee of the month.
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264. Does this mean you'll
be getting a raise?
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265. Salary and perks to be
determined later, Charlene.
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266. Oh.
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267. Like tomorrow night
when Mr. Richfield
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268. comes to our house for dinner!
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269. Whoa!
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270. He's coming here?
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271. Tomorrow night?
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272. Not now, boy.
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273. I have to come up with
wonderful new ideas
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274. to impress the
boss tomorrow night.
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275. You're not gonna turn into a
land-raping executive type?
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276. Ooh, if they'll only
give me the chance.
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277. Oh, and Frannie, I want
your mother here for dinner.
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278. Are you sure, Earl?
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279. Am I sure I want
your mother here?
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280. After all these years of
telling me I'm a big nothing,
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281. to witness my ascension into
the stratosphere of business?
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282. Oh, yes, I do think so.
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283. Tell her for dessert
we're having humble pie,
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284. and she doesn't get any.
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285. Sparky, no!
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286. That pupu platter
is for Mr. Richfield.
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287. Don't worry. We
didn't forget you.
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288. Mmm. Doesn't this look good?
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289. Ahh.
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290. Oh! Oh, boy! Oh, that's him!
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291. Everybody, stay calm. Be polite.
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292. Don't panic. Don't panic.
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293. Get down, for God's sake.
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294. Get down! Get down!
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295. Be polite. Don't
talk out of turn.
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296. If he bites
something off of you,
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297. don't worry, it'll grow back.
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298. Daddy's job won't.
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299. Oh, calm down, calm down.
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300. That's it. We're equals.
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301. We're equals.
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302. Thank you for coming.
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303. This is the greatest
moment of my life.
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304. Think nothing of it, fat
boy. Which way's the food?
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305. There they are. There's
my beautiful family.
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306. Hi, Mom.
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307. Hello, Fran darling.
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308. Robbie, Charlene, I have
money. Who has kisses?
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309. Grandma!
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310. - Oh, nice hat.
- Hi, Grandma.
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311. There's a caveman in the house!
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312. No, no, no, no, no!
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313. Call the exterminator.
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314. Grandma, it's OK.
This is Sparky, our pet.
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315. Yeah.
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316. This is man, Robbie.
Man's not a pet.
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317. Man's one of nature's mistakes.
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318. - Ethyl...
- Here comes the other one.
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319. Hardee-har-har,
Ethyl. Ha, ha, ha.
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320. Get them in while you can
because it all ends tonight.
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321. After 20 years of
taking lip from you,
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322. it's payback time. That's right.
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323. Tonight, my boss, mi amigo,
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324. is gonna come to my
house to have dinner
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325. and suggestions from his
esteemed colleague, me.
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326. He'll be walking through
that door any second now.
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327. Could I get the ear?
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328. I've lost all
feeling in this arm.
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329. Honey, I don't
think he's coming.
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330. He's probably stuck
in a meteor shower.
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331. He's trying
desperately to get here.
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332. Daddy, is it OK if
we go to bed now?
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333. Yeah, go ahead.
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334. I'll wake you up
when he gets here.
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335. Come here.
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336. Ah, I better put
the baby to bed.
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337. Oh! Hey, what's happening?
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338. Shh!
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339. Oh! Something's wrong.
Ooh! Ooh! Baby's moving.
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340. Oh, it's the mama.
Copy !req
341. I'm all secure.
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342. You'll always be
husband of the month
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343. to me, Earl.
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344. Don't make me hate you, Fran.
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345. Well,
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346. his loss, Dad.
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347. We were all rooting for you.
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348. Ahh!
Copy !req
349. Get away. Get away!
Copy !req
350. Hey, fat boy, this was the
greatest night of my life.
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351. Ethyl, if I could move my arm,
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352. I'd crack your
head like a coconut.
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353. Yeah, but you can't, and
you're too stupid to realize
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354. you got another arm.
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355. Oh!
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356. Huh?
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357. Oh!
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358. Oh!
Copy !req
359. Oh, you poor guy.
Copy !req
360. Always waiting around for me
to throw you a crumb of affection.
Copy !req
361. And you'd wait all
night, wouldn't you?
Copy !req
362. Just like I did.
Copy !req
363. You're a good boy, Sparky,
Copy !req
364. and I appreciate your loyalty.
Copy !req
365. I was loyal, too, for 20 years.
Copy !req
366. I thought I was going places,
Copy !req
367. but I guess I'm not.
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368. Well, I'm gonna
give you a promotion.
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369. I'm gonna set you free.
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370. That's right.
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371. Robbie!
Copy !req
372. I still don't understand
Copy !req
373. why we have to let him go, Dad.
Copy !req
374. Robbie, it's not natural to
keep one of God's creatures
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375. at the end of a leash,
Copy !req
376. leading a life of desperation
Copy !req
377. and zero hope.
Copy !req
378. But Sparky seemed
so happy with us.
Copy !req
379. I'm not talking about Sparky.
Copy !req
380. I'm talking about me.
Copy !req
381. So wait a minute, we're keeping
Sparky and letting you go?
Copy !req
382. No, son. I'm more highly
evolved than Sparky.
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383. I have a job, a home, a family.
Copy !req
384. I'm trapped good.
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385. Hmm. Whoa.
Copy !req
386. But it's not too late for Sparky
Copy !req
387. to be put back where he
belongs, with his own kind,
Copy !req
388. where there are no masters
saying "fetch" or "heel"
Copy !req
389. or "make a suggestion."
Copy !req
390. Look, Dad, there's
one of his kind.
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391. No, I think Sparky's
found himself a little lady.
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392. Oh. Ohh.
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393. Huh!
Copy !req
394. Hey, go get her, Sparky.
Copy !req
395. Well, this is it, boy.
Copy !req
396. You take care of yourself
Copy !req
397. and stay away from
science class, OK?
Copy !req
398. Aw, bye.
Copy !req
399. Yech! Not on the mouth!
Copy !req
400. Goodbye, buddy. You're free now.
Copy !req
401. If anybody gives you any guff,
Copy !req
402. you tell 'em, "I'm one
of God's creatures,
Copy !req
403. and I deserve respect."
Copy !req
404. Now go.
Copy !req
405. Go on.
Copy !req
406. Well, bye, Sparky.
Copy !req
407. Hey, Dad, isn't that
Mr. Richfield's trailer?
Copy !req
408. Uh... yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is.
Copy !req
409. Lucky thing for him he
ain't there, the mood I'm in.
Copy !req
410. Well, his light's on, Dad.
Copy !req
411. - Huh?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
412. Well, lucky for him
it's a school night.
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413. Let's go, Robbie. Come on.
Copy !req
414. Dad, what better
opportunity will you ever have
Copy !req
415. to show your son what
his father's made of?
Copy !req
416. Ahh...
Copy !req
417. All right. Wait here.
Copy !req
418. This won't be pretty.
Copy !req
419. What a lousy life I'm having.
Copy !req
420. I'm proud of you, Dad.
Copy !req
421. Go get help.
Copy !req
422. Aw.
Copy !req
423. Uh... excuse me,
Mr. Richfield, sir,
Copy !req
424. but I have something
that needs to be said.
Copy !req
425. I'm busy, Sinclair!
Copy !req
426. You should've called.
Copy !req
427. Who are you to
tell me what to do?
Copy !req
428. I'm one of God's creatures. I
demand you treat me with respect.
Copy !req
429. You've got a lot
of nerve, Sinclair!
Copy !req
430. I Like nerve! I like you.
Copy !req
431. I like the way you think,
I like the way you dress.
Copy !req
432. Has anybody ever told you
you're a good-looking guy?
Copy !req
433. Well, thank you, sir.
Copy !req
434. Uh... you're not
so bad yourself.
Copy !req
435. Uh...
Copy !req
436. So, um... you
need a little money?
Copy !req
437. Nah! Nah, I'm OK.
Copy !req
438. Well, you stop in anytime
Copy !req
439. because you're the
employee of the month.
Copy !req
440. And no one can take
that away from you.
Copy !req
441. Yeah! All right!
Copy !req
442. I hope I wasn't too
rough with you there, B.P.
Copy !req
443. I just had to get
it off my chest.
Copy !req
444. Well, let's go home, son.
Copy !req
445. Dad, when someone
pushes me around,
Copy !req
446. I hope I have the
guts to be just like you.
Copy !req
447. So do I, son, so do I.
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