1. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
2. - Mama.
- Hmm?Copy !req
3. What's this?Copy !req
4. That's a ball of yarn.Copy !req
5. Oh. My ball.Copy !req
6. No. It's yarn. I'm knitting a
nice new sweater for your sister.Copy !req
7. - My ball!
- No. I need it to...Copy !req
8. - My ball!
- I'm trying
to explain to you...Copy !req
9. My ball!Copy !req
10. Yes. I don't know
what I was thinking.Copy !req
11. It is your ball.Copy !req
12. Don't want it.Copy !req
13. Fine.Copy !req
14. Gimme!Copy !req
15. Oh!Copy !req
16. My ball.Copy !req
17. My ball.Copy !req
18. My ball.Copy !req
19. Hi, girls. How was school?Copy !req
20. Oh, it was wonderful, Mom.Copy !req
21. Yeah. Best day of our lives.Copy !req
22. Let's eat till our
thighs explode.Copy !req
23. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
24. What happened?Copy !req
25. Well, if you must
know the grisly details,Copy !req
26. Mindy and I went to the
cafeteria for lunch. Potato salad.Copy !req
27. And we were standing there with
our trays 'cause the place was packed.Copy !req
28. Do we have any tartar sauce?Copy !req
29. And the only seats anywhereCopy !req
30. were at Heather
Worthington's table.Copy !req
31. So we had to sit on the floor.Copy !req
32. But you said there were
seats at Heather's table.Copy !req
33. Chocolate sauce. Mom, lunch is
not as simple as it was in your day.Copy !req
34. There's a social
hierarchy at work here.Copy !req
35. Explain it to me
slowly. I'm very old.Copy !req
36. Heather hangs
with a group of girlsCopy !req
37. who are vain and self-centered.Copy !req
38. They all sit at the same
table, wear the same clothes.Copy !req
39. - And they think that no one
is as good as they are.
- Yeah.Copy !req
40. And you want desperately
to be one of them?Copy !req
41. - I'd sell my own mother.
- That's sweet.Copy !req
42. But we are social outcasts
and shall remain so,Copy !req
43. for that is our sad destiny.Copy !req
44. - Cheese log? Yes.
- Yeah!Copy !req
45. I know you're disappointed, but I
think you'll find stuffing yourselvesCopy !req
46. - won't make you feel better.
- So you're saying
we need TV too?Copy !req
47. It's a lonely and
confusing time.Copy !req
48. So many pressures,
so many changes,Copy !req
49. so many questions.Copy !req
50. Who am I? Do I fit in?Copy !req
51. Why don't I feel
better about myself?Copy !req
52. You don't need to feel
better about yourself,Copy !req
53. you just need to feel
superior to others.Copy !req
54. There's only one thing
that can do it: status!Copy !req
55. Status, huh?Copy !req
56. Where can I get it?Copy !req
57. At Prestige Outerwear.Copy !req
58. Prestige Outerwear
can fill the void in your lifeCopy !req
59. with a glamorous jacket
your friends can never afford.Copy !req
60. So make sure you
own the coat that says:Copy !req
61. "I'm better than you."Copy !req
62. I'm better than you.Copy !req
63. - Oh!
- Yeah!Copy !req
64. - Oh! Oh!
- Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
65. Mom?Copy !req
66. Not a chance, Charlene.Copy !req
67. Oh, but if I had that coat,Copy !req
68. Heather Worthington would
be banging down my door.Copy !req
69. Oh, please.Copy !req
70. Please, please, please!Copy !req
71. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
72. That coat is far too
expensive for a girl your age.Copy !req
73. That's exactly my point, Mom.Copy !req
74. Charlene, if we each pay half,
maybe we could buy it together.Copy !req
75. Good. You see, Mom? You
only have to give me half.Copy !req
76. I think that's reasonable.Copy !req
77. - That's my final offer.
- Yeah.Copy !req
78. Oh, well, in that case, no.Copy !req
79. Oh, but...Copy !req
80. OK, Mom, maybe you're right.Copy !req
81. Maybe I'd appreciate the
coat more if I had to work for it.Copy !req
82. - I love you, Daddy.
- Back at ya, Charlene.Copy !req
83. Daddy waddy waddy Daddy.Copy !req
84. Can I get you anything?
Slippers? A pipe?Copy !req
85. A wounded antelope
screaming for its life? Huh?Copy !req
86. - Well, aren't you something.
- Yeah.Copy !req
87. Hey. You see this here?Copy !req
88. This is what a
father likes to see.Copy !req
89. - See.
- A loving childCopy !req
90. not too proud to humble
herself at her father's feet.Copy !req
91. Hey, why don't you
treat me like this?Copy !req
92. 'Cause I don't need money.Copy !req
93. Oh, well, isn't
that just like you,Copy !req
94. my cynical child, to expect
the worst from everybody.Copy !req
95. Tell him, Charlene, tell
him this isn't about money.Copy !req
96. I need $500.Copy !req
97. I never wanted
either one of you.Copy !req
98. Daddy waddy...Copy !req
99. No, it's true. You
can ask your mother.Copy !req
100. I have only one true
child to carry on my legacy.Copy !req
101. Not the mama!Copy !req
102. But Daddy, you don't understand.Copy !req
103. There's this coat
I have to have.Copy !req
104. My whole social
life depends on it.Copy !req
105. - Dinnertime!
- Let me tell you something, little girl.Copy !req
106. You don't need fancy clothes.Copy !req
107. - Oh, please.
- Look at me.Copy !req
108. All I have is this one shirt, and I
command respect wherever I go.Copy !req
109. Ow!Copy !req
110. Out of my way, you
worthless sack of fat.Copy !req
111. What are you doing here?Copy !req
112. I came to have dinner
with the family I love.Copy !req
113. Earl, stop fighting with Mother.Copy !req
114. Fran, why do you
always take her side?Copy !req
115. Because she's old and helpless.Copy !req
116. Yeah.Copy !req
117. Ooph! Ow!Copy !req
118. Heh heh.Copy !req
119. Dad, uh, here, let me help you.Copy !req
120. - Is that the phone ringing?
- No, it's not the phone.Copy !req
121. - But I hear bells.
- I know, Dad.Copy !req
122. Oh, aren't you coming
to dinner, sweetheart?Copy !req
123. No. I'm not hungry.Copy !req
124. And I'm never eating
again until I get that coat,Copy !req
125. or I pass a buffet.Copy !req
126. What's this about a coat?Copy !req
127. Oh! It's only the most
beautiful coat in the world.Copy !req
128. And it only costs $500, but Daddy
won't let me have it because of meanness.Copy !req
129. Five hundred dollars?Copy !req
130. Yeah.Copy !req
131. Well, if your father's
really opposed to it...Copy !req
132. Hmm?Copy !req
133. Here you go.Copy !req
134. Oh! Oh, Grandma!Copy !req
135. Do you mean it?Copy !req
136. I was saving it
for your college,Copy !req
137. but a voice in my
head kept saying,Copy !req
138. "The only way
she's going to collegeCopy !req
139. is inside a cake at
a frat house party."Copy !req
140. - Yeah.
- Oh! Oh, gosh, Grandma.Copy !req
141. You really understand.Copy !req
142. - Pretty much.
- Five big ones! Yes!Copy !req
143. Welcome back to
Totally Hidden Predator.Copy !req
144. We hid our predator in
this peaceful suburban park.Copy !req
145. Let's watch as the
unsuspecting Ida ShmertzlerCopy !req
146. comes home from the market now.Copy !req
147. Aah!Copy !req
148. What's for dinner, Ida?Copy !req
149. You are!Copy !req
150. Did you see the
look on her face?Copy !req
151. Yes. I just love dinosaursCopy !req
152. caught in the act
of being themselves.Copy !req
153. Is everybody ready?Copy !req
154. Ready for what, dear?Copy !req
155. Ahem.Copy !req
156. Ta-da!Copy !req
157. So, what do you think?Copy !req
158. - Earl.
- What?Copy !req
159. - Look what she's wearing.
- Yeah. I'm appalled.Copy !req
160. Hey, look! The predator's
in the washing machine.Copy !req
161. Charlene, where on earth did
you get $500 to buy that coat?Copy !req
162. Grandma gave it to me.Copy !req
163. That was going to be
your college money.Copy !req
164. How could you throw away your
entire education for a piece of clothing?Copy !req
165. I look great. That's
all I need to know.Copy !req
166. If I might interject
a word here.Copy !req
167. Hey, listen to that. It talks.Copy !req
168. - I was thinking
the same thing about you.
- Oh, thanks.Copy !req
169. My dear, your daughter won't
be in any shape to go to collegeCopy !req
170. until she addresses this
self-esteem problem of hers.Copy !req
171. I don't want to place blame
where it obviously belongs,Copy !req
172. but perhaps you should
let me take it from here.Copy !req
173. Help me, please.Copy !req
174. That must be Mindy. Oh!
She's going to be so jealous.Copy !req
175. That's the idea.Copy !req
176. - After you.
- You go first.Copy !req
177. No, after you.Copy !req
178. Earl, did you hear that?Copy !req
179. Charlene's coat just
said we're bad parents.Copy !req
180. - Charlene who?
- Oh. Oh!Copy !req
181. Oh, Charlene, it's the coolest.Copy !req
182. Oh, isn't it?Copy !req
183. I have my half of the
money. Can I try it on?Copy !req
184. Yeah.Copy !req
185. Whoa, whoa, whoa, sweetheart.Copy !req
186. - What?
- Just one quick question:Copy !req
187. Who dressed you,Copy !req
188. and why do they
hate you so much?Copy !req
189. What?Copy !req
190. No, this is my
best friend, Mindy.Copy !req
191. Mindy, this is our coat.Copy !req
192. You don't like my outfit?Copy !req
193. No. Uh...Copy !req
194. Well, dear, you are clearly
making a fashion statement.Copy !req
195. And that statement is,Copy !req
196. "Welcome to the big top."Copy !req
197. Oh, dear.Copy !req
198. Um, no, uh...Copy !req
199. See, uh, what
Mindy and I thoughtCopy !req
200. is that we'd kind of share you.Copy !req
201. - No, no, no.
- Ow!Copy !req
202. Here's what you have
to understand, Charlene.Copy !req
203. The whole point of a
status symbol like myselfCopy !req
204. is that you have
me and others don't.Copy !req
205. But we had a deal.Copy !req
206. - Yeah...
- No one's talking to you.Copy !req
207. Stand there and wait for your
clothes to come back in style.Copy !req
208. - He didn't mean that...
- Now, Charlene,
here's what you say.Copy !req
209. "Mindy, it's been wonderfulCopy !req
210. having you for a
little playmate..."Copy !req
211. Oh. Wow. Don't you think
that's kind of insulting?Copy !req
212. Dear, do you really
want to be popular?Copy !req
213. Mindy, it's been wonderful
having you as a little playmate.Copy !req
214. "But socially, I
have to move on."Copy !req
215. Yeah, but... oh...Copy !req
216. Mindy, I...Copy !req
217. I'll call you in a
couple of days, OK?Copy !req
218. Charlene, I thought
you were my friend.Copy !req
219. - I'm going to go out
and buy a pair of shoes.
- But...Copy !req
220. Boy, did we really
have to do that?Copy !req
221. Ohh. You feel guilty, don't you?Copy !req
222. - Yeah, kinda.
- It goes away.Copy !req
223. - It does?
- Now, let's go upstairs
and open your yearbookCopy !req
224. and pick out a whole
new set of friends.Copy !req
225. Oh, OK. Sounds like fun.Copy !req
226. Welcome back.Copy !req
227. It's time for DTV News.Copy !req
228. In the record stores next month,
the new disk from Lyzzard Skyzzard.Copy !req
229. We talked to their lead
guitarist, Nigel Ouch.Copy !req
230. Your first album, Borrow This
Record From A Friend and Tape It,Copy !req
231. didn't sell very well.Copy !req
232. Yeah. Well, it was all
quite a shock, you know.Copy !req
233. But we're hoping the new record,Copy !req
234. Tape This Off The
Radio For Free,Copy !req
235. will be a bit more commercial.Copy !req
236. Thank you, Nige. And next month,Copy !req
237. Lyzzard Skyzzard
hits the road for theirCopy !req
238. Don't Bother to Come, We'll
be on Cable Next Month tour.Copy !req
239. Ticket sales so far...Copy !req
240. have been sluggish.Copy !req
241. Hello.Copy !req
242. No, Charlene's
not here right now.Copy !req
243. Sure, I'll be glad to take a message
for her. I've been doing it all day.Copy !req
244. Let me get a pen.Copy !req
245. OK, go ahead.Copy !req
246. Yeah, I'm writing it down.Copy !req
247. Brittany. Yeah, yeah. 446...Copy !req
248. Slow down, slow down.Copy !req
249. 867. Got it.Copy !req
250. Oh, yeah, I'll be
sure she gets it. Bye.Copy !req
251. - Was that another
phone call for Charlene?
- Who else?Copy !req
252. You see, Earl? That's just
what I was talking about?Copy !req
253. Ever since Charlene
bought that coat,Copy !req
254. she has all these new
friends. I'm worried.Copy !req
255. Oh, Fran's worried.
What a surprise.Copy !req
256. I mean it, Earl. This
could be a real problem.Copy !req
257. Oh, you're right.Copy !req
258. It's just awful.Copy !req
259. Our daughter
has a lot of friends,Copy !req
260. is very popular with
everyone at schoolCopy !req
261. and is happier than she's
ever been. What a terrible thing!Copy !req
262. Where did we fail as parents?Copy !req
263. I'm being sarcastic.Copy !req
264. What a wonderful day.Copy !req
265. I have the best possible news.Copy !req
266. Whoa! Brace yourself, Fran.Copy !req
267. More happiness to worry about.Copy !req
268. Do you want to tell
them or should I?Copy !req
269. - No, no, you go ahead.
- OK.Copy !req
270. Heather Worthington
said that it would be all rightCopy !req
271. if I sat at her table tomorrow.Copy !req
272. Charlene, I don't want
to hurt your feelings,Copy !req
273. but have you considered that
the only reason these girls like youCopy !req
274. is because of your coat?Copy !req
275. Well, duh, Mom!Copy !req
276. Lovely to see you again.Copy !req
277. Oh! And you.Copy !req
278. Any calls for me?Copy !req
279. - Not a one.
- That's odd.Copy !req
280. Earl, our daughter is turning
into a social-climbing snob.Copy !req
281. They grow up oh so fast.Copy !req
282. Oh, this is so great.Copy !req
283. Ha-ha! We've arrived!Copy !req
284. Lunch at Heather's table.Copy !req
285. Oh! It's more than I
could ever have dreamed.Copy !req
286. It's a disaster. We're
totally unprepared.Copy !req
287. Why?Copy !req
288. What are you talking
about? I have you.Copy !req
289. Yes, but everyone
knows you have me,Copy !req
290. and the novelty of
me has gotten old,Copy !req
291. and I will not be old.Copy !req
292. Oh.Copy !req
293. I must be kept fresh.
I must be kept new.Copy !req
294. I must be accessorized.Copy !req
295. What are you saying?Copy !req
296. Give me a belt, a brooch, a hat.Copy !req
297. Oh, that!Copy !req
298. Come on. I have lots of stuff.Copy !req
299. Uh, no, no. Where
is it? Yes. Ha!Copy !req
300. This sweater's nice, isn't it?Copy !req
301. Hmm.Copy !req
302. Well, what's it made of?Copy !req
303. One hundred percent
all-natural polyvinyl chloride.Copy !req
304. Oh, honey, we've got
to do some shopping.Copy !req
305. Great.Copy !req
306. Now, where does
Heather buy her clothes?Copy !req
307. Oh, at that expensive
place in the mall.Copy !req
308. Mmm. Let's go.Copy !req
309. But I don't have any more money.Copy !req
310. Your father has a
credit card, doesn't he?Copy !req
311. Yeah, but he'd
never let me borrow it.Copy !req
312. Charlene,Copy !req
313. he's your father.Copy !req
314. - He loves you.
- So?Copy !req
315. He wants you to be happy.Copy !req
316. Yeah.Copy !req
317. Steal it.Copy !req
318. Tonight we wondered
what would happenCopy !req
319. if we put our totally
hidden predatorCopy !req
320. in a personnel office.Copy !req
321. Is this the right
door? Should I go in?Copy !req
322. Ahem.Copy !req
323. Uh... hello. Um... huh?Copy !req
324. Hello. I'm here for
the job interview.Copy !req
325. Hmm?Copy !req
326. Hey, the predator.Copy !req
327. Am I on TV?Copy !req
328. Uh...Copy !req
329. - What you doing?
- Oh! Uh...Copy !req
330. You want me to be quiet?Copy !req
331. Just help me out this once, OK?Copy !req
332. Um... no.Copy !req
333. We'll give you a dollar, huh?Copy !req
334. Ooh, a dollar?Copy !req
335. Yeah, yeah. Gimme, gimme, gimme.Copy !req
336. Do it.Copy !req
337. Gimme. Come on.
I don't have all day.Copy !req
338. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
339. I'm the baby, got to pay me.Copy !req
340. Charlene, come on. I'm
going to change my mind.Copy !req
341. Hello! Yoo-hoo! Come on.Copy !req
342. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.Copy !req
343. Hmm.Copy !req
344. Here's your change.Copy !req
345. Eww.Copy !req
346. - How common.
- Yeah.Copy !req
347. Uh-huh. Gross.Copy !req
348. Wow. These are all so beautiful.Copy !req
349. Now, this is more like it.Copy !req
350. - Shh.
- Do you see the prices?Copy !req
351. Oh, please.Copy !req
352. I'm not with her, really.Copy !req
353. Would you like
to wait in the car?Copy !req
354. Look, I'm not opposed to
spending my dad's money,Copy !req
355. but this sweater costs more
than he makes in a month.Copy !req
356. - Oh, he can take a second job.
- Right.Copy !req
357. Why should he lie around
the house every nightCopy !req
358. when he could be
off in some factoryCopy !req
359. performing some
simple repetitive task?Copy !req
360. Maybe this was a bad idea.Copy !req
361. Well, my goodness,
look who's here.Copy !req
362. Oh, uh, Heather... Hi.Copy !req
363. I didn't know you shopped here.Copy !req
364. Oh, sure, all the time.Copy !req
365. Really? I would
never have guessedCopy !req
366. from the way you, uh, dress.Copy !req
367. - Oh.
- Well, present
company excepted.Copy !req
368. Well, I know exactly
what you mean.Copy !req
369. So, what have you bought?Copy !req
370. Well, so far,
we've been a little...Copy !req
371. indecisive.Copy !req
372. Well, who can decide?Copy !req
373. I mean, I like this
one and this one.Copy !req
374. Well, here's a thought.Copy !req
375. Maybe you should
try one of them on.Copy !req
376. - Yeah, I knew that.
- Yes.Copy !req
377. You know, you might be
better off with the vertical stripes,Copy !req
378. at least until you
get your weight down.Copy !req
379. Allow me.Copy !req
380. You are trying to lose
weight, aren't you?Copy !req
381. No. Oh, yeah. Ha-ha.
I mean, who isn't?Copy !req
382. Oh, you should
see her all day long.Copy !req
383. Snack, snack,
snack, snack, snack.Copy !req
384. Wow. What an awesome lining.Copy !req
385. Oh! Would you like to try me on?Copy !req
386. I'd love to.Copy !req
387. Oh, this is nice,Copy !req
388. but I already have
one pretty much like it.Copy !req
389. Plus it kind of seems stupidCopy !req
390. to spend so much
money on a sweater.Copy !req
391. Well, then maybe you should
go where you usually shop,Copy !req
392. some store where you
can rummage through bins.Copy !req
393. Hey, I thought we
were going to be friends.Copy !req
394. I thought you had taste.Copy !req
395. I guess we were both wrong.Copy !req
396. Well, I'll just take my
coat, if you don't mind.Copy !req
397. What are you doing?
We're going home.Copy !req
398. - You don't own me.
- Oh, yes, I do.Copy !req
399. Oh!Copy !req
400. It looks like your coat has
already made its choice.Copy !req
401. You were supposed
to make me popular.Copy !req
402. You were popular
for a couple of days,Copy !req
403. and now you're not.Copy !req
404. I gave up my
best friend for you.Copy !req
405. They all do.Copy !req
406. All right, let's go
over this again.Copy !req
407. Tell me what happened.Copy !req
408. Tell me exactly what happened.Copy !req
409. - Gimme juice!
- Gimme answers.Copy !req
410. - Uh-uh.
- Who took my credit card?Copy !req
411. - Can't make me talk.
- Jeez!Copy !req
412. I'll give you a cookie.Copy !req
413. Charlene! Charlene's the one!Copy !req
414. Charlene took it.
She's the one you want!Copy !req
415. Charlene! I saw her
take it. I saw her do it.Copy !req
416. Charlene, she took
it. I watched her.Copy !req
417. Earl...Copy !req
418. what's going on in here?Copy !req
419. Charlene took my credit card.Copy !req
420. Didn't hear it from me.Copy !req
421. She snuck in here while I
was sleeping and stole it.Copy !req
422. We've raised a
common criminal, Fran.Copy !req
423. I got to call the
credit card company.Copy !req
424. She could be out there
buying stereos and boats.Copy !req
425. Earl, you have a $50 limit.Copy !req
426. Yeah, well, it's a good
thing I'm such a credit risk.Copy !req
427. How could my own
daughter do this to me?Copy !req
428. She's got an expensive new
coat and a group of rich friends,Copy !req
429. and now she feels she
has to keep up with them.Copy !req
430. If she wants to keep
up with her rich friends,Copy !req
431. why didn't she steal
their fathers' credit cards?Copy !req
432. - Hmm.
- Earl!Copy !req
433. What?Copy !req
434. That would be wrong?Copy !req
435. What's wrong is that we don't
want our daughter to grow upCopy !req
436. believing that status is
the key to a better life.Copy !req
437. How many cards you think
she could steal in a week?Copy !req
438. Earl Sinclair, what
are you thinking of?Copy !req
439. Stereos, Fran. And boats.Copy !req
440. Oop.Copy !req
441. Hi.Copy !req
442. D... Daddy...Copy !req
443. Charlene, do you have something
you want to tell your father?Copy !req
444. I took your credit card.Copy !req
445. I know that.Copy !req
446. Where's my boat?Copy !req
447. What?Copy !req
448. Earl.Copy !req
449. - Yes, my first mate?
- Ship off.Copy !req
450. Aye, aye, Fran.Copy !req
451. Oh! But before I go, there's
something I want to tell you, young lady.Copy !req
452. Status is not the
key to a better life.Copy !req
453. I believe that now, Daddy.Copy !req
454. Yeah, well, so does your mother.Copy !req
455. I'm so depressed.Copy !req
456. Ugh! Oh...Copy !req
457. Oh, I knew it!Copy !req
458. It's too young! No!Copy !req
459. Oh, Mom, I was so stupid.Copy !req
460. I just wanted to fit in with
Heather and the other popular girls,Copy !req
461. and I thought if I had a nice
coat that they would like me better,Copy !req
462. but they didn't like
me. They liked my coat.Copy !req
463. The important thing is you
know what you did was wrong.Copy !req
464. Yes. Yes, I do, I really do,Copy !req
465. so you don't have to ground meCopy !req
466. because I know what I did was
wrong. So, what would be the point?Copy !req
467. You're grounded.Copy !req
468. Well, you got to do
what you got to do.Copy !req
469. Yes, and if I've gotten
back the Charlene I know,Copy !req
470. she knows what she's got to do.Copy !req
471. Yeah.Copy !req
472. Yeah.Copy !req
473. Hello, Mindy?Copy !req
474. Yeah, it's me.Copy !req