1. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
2. What are you doing
with those scissors?Copy !req
3. I just want to talk to you.Copy !req
4. Get away from me.Copy !req
5. I just want to take
a little off the top.Copy !req
6. They're my spikes,
Dad. I like 'em this way.Copy !req
7. They're in your eyes.
How can you see?Copy !req
8. I like the way they look.Copy !req
9. You look like a girl, or a bum.Copy !req
10. You look like a girl bum.Copy !req
11. Fran, am I alone on this one?Copy !req
12. - Well...
- Oh, that's right! Undermine my authority.Copy !req
13. A lot of boys are wearing
their spikes longer.Copy !req
14. Jeez, cripple me.Copy !req
15. Could we discuss
this after dinner?Copy !req
16. He's not eating dinner in
my house with those spikes.Copy !req
17. Obviously, I can't do
anything right, Dad.Copy !req
18. My room is a mess, my spikes
are too long, my posture stinks.Copy !req
19. Why is it that everything
I do is so wrong?Copy !req
20. I was going to ask
you the same thing.Copy !req
21. You know, I didn't ask to
get hatched into this family.Copy !req
22. Oh, well, nobody's
keeping you here.Copy !req
23. Fine!Copy !req
24. Fine!Copy !req
25. Don't you walk away from me.Copy !req
26. Hey, you did the
right thing, Sinclair.Copy !req
27. If you let him clip your spikes,Copy !req
28. who knows what he'll
want to cut off next.Copy !req
29. He's always on my tail.Copy !req
30. Yeah, well, like I told you,
it was better in the old days.Copy !req
31. When the male came of age,Copy !req
32. he challenged his
father for supremacy.Copy !req
33. Really? Like a fight?Copy !req
34. - To the death.
- Cool.Copy !req
35. - You could kick
your dad's butt...
- Yeah?Copy !req
36. Take his territory...Copy !req
37. Right.Copy !req
38. Marry his wife.Copy !req
39. Wouldn't that be my mom?Copy !req
40. Eww!Copy !req
41. Ugh!Copy !req
42. I'm telling you, I'm
never going back.Copy !req
43. Hey, no need to. We got
everything you need out here.Copy !req
44. You want dinner? We'll catch it.Copy !req
45. Yeah, that's right.
We're dinosaurs.Copy !req
46. Top of the food chain.Copy !req
47. - Dinner!
- Dinner!Copy !req
48. Aah!Copy !req
49. No...Copy !req
50. Ohh. Well, maybe
some salad first.Copy !req
51. Yeah, plants are slow.Copy !req
52. Hmm... Mm-hmm.Copy !req
53. Hey, what about this?Copy !req
54. Oh, definitely a plant.Copy !req
55. Looks kinda weird.
You think it's poisonous?Copy !req
56. Yum. Yum.Copy !req
57. Doesn't taste poisonous.Copy !req
58. Huh. I wonder what it is.Copy !req
59. Yeah...Copy !req
60. What are we laughing about?Copy !req
61. You know what's weird?Copy !req
62. When we first got here,
I felt really bummed.Copy !req
63. But now I feel really good.Copy !req
64. Why do you think that is?Copy !req
65. I don't know, Scooter. Your
guess is as good as mine.Copy !req
66. Hey, pass me some
more of that plant.Copy !req
67. Sure.Copy !req
68. Ahh...Copy !req
69. Ahh...Copy !req
70. There you go.Copy !req
71. - You know what would make
this moment perfect?
- What?Copy !req
72. If my dad was here.Copy !req
73. I love my dad.Copy !req
74. Yeah, I love your dad too.Copy !req
75. I love everybody's dad.Copy !req
76. I love the word "dad."Copy !req
77. You know what? I'm
gonna go tell him right now.Copy !req
78. Whoa.Copy !req
79. Hi.Copy !req
80. Aha!Copy !req
81. Dad...Copy !req
82. The prodigal son returns.Copy !req
83. Couldn't cut it out
there in the cold world.Copy !req
84. Want to be back under Daddy's
roof, eating Daddy's food.Copy !req
85. That's gonna take an attitude
adjustment from you, sonny boy.Copy !req
86. I love you, Dad,
more than life itself.Copy !req
87. Oh, Dad!Copy !req
88. Love? Well, that's a start.Copy !req
89. I realized that I was
completely wrongCopy !req
90. and you were completely right.Copy !req
91. Not just now, but always.Copy !req
92. Hold it right there.Copy !req
93. Are we having a touching moment,Copy !req
94. or are you teasing me?Copy !req
95. I mean it, Dad. I was
just out in the woodsCopy !req
96. eating this plant with
Spike, I felt so happyCopy !req
97. I came right home to
share it with my dad.Copy !req
98. Wait a minute. Are you telling
me this plant made you happy?Copy !req
99. - Yeah.
- That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.Copy !req
100. Ah, Dad. Just try it.Copy !req
101. Plants don't make you happy.Copy !req
102. Look, I'll prove it to you.Copy !req
103. See? Nothing.Copy !req
104. Oh! Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
105. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
106. Dad, Dad...Copy !req
107. Oh, Dad, I can't believe we've
known each other for so long,Copy !req
108. and we've never danced together.Copy !req
109. Oh, we won't make
that mistake again, son.Copy !req
110. Yeah...Copy !req
111. Come on. Get up, big guy.Copy !req
112. - Happy to.
- I'm happy you're happy.Copy !req
113. Oh, it's plant time.Copy !req
114. Here. Have some of this.Copy !req
115. Plant time, plant
time, plant time...Copy !req
116. Here you are.Copy !req
117. Are you two still fighting?Copy !req
118. Oh, look, it's Charlene!Copy !req
119. Hi, Charlene.Copy !req
120. How are you?Copy !req
121. You guys have changed.Copy !req
122. Wow. Look, she's talking.Copy !req
123. Wow...Copy !req
124. Plant time...Copy !req
125. Give me that.Copy !req
126. So should we tell her?Copy !req
127. Absolutely.Copy !req
128. Charlene, this is our
special happy food.Copy !req
129. Mmm, this is good.Copy !req
130. Well, I guess I'm
the last one up.Copy !req
131. Oh, good morning, perfect wife.Copy !req
132. Good morning, Earl.Copy !req
133. What are you eating?Copy !req
134. It's a plant Robbie
found in the forest.Copy !req
135. It's made us very happy.Copy !req
136. A plant that makes you
happy? Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
137. Earl, shouldn't you be
getting ready for work?Copy !req
138. I'm happy right here.Copy !req
139. Hey, look! It's Mom!Copy !req
140. Are you happy, Fran?Copy !req
141. Well, I'd be happier if you
were on your way to work.Copy !req
142. Then I'm on my way.Copy !req
143. Bye, Dad. You're
great. Love you.Copy !req
144. Bye.Copy !req
145. What's so funny?Copy !req
146. I just realizedCopy !req
147. I don't wear any pants.Copy !req
148. Falling trees!Copy !req
149. - Watch it, idiot!
- Get your helmet on!Copy !req
150. There you go.
That oughta get it.Copy !req
151. Hey.Copy !req
152. Huh?Copy !req
153. What? Oh, happy morning, guys.Copy !req
154. Hey, where you been, pally boy?Copy !req
155. Richfield's been looking
for you all morning.Copy !req
156. Oh, really? It is so nice
of him to be concerned.Copy !req
157. This is the happiest
moment of my life.Copy !req
158. No, wait.Copy !req
159. This is.Copy !req
160. No, wait.Copy !req
161. This is.Copy !req
162. Oh, life just keeps
getting better and better.Copy !req
163. Hey, maybe it's just me,Copy !req
164. but I think Earl seems
unusually happy this morning.Copy !req
165. Hey, Earl, uh, you havin' some
kind of brain problem there?Copy !req
166. Guys, I have discovered
the key to eternal bliss.Copy !req
167. - Huh?
- Huh?Copy !req
168. Lunchbox?Copy !req
169. - Hmm.
- Ooh.Copy !req
170. It's in this simple plant,Copy !req
171. and I want to share it with you.Copy !req
172. Thanks. I'm touched.Copy !req
173. And you...Copy !req
174. Sinclair, in here now!Copy !req
175. Doesn't he have
the neatest yell?Copy !req
176. Oh, presents.Copy !req
177. Coming.Copy !req
178. Coming.Copy !req
179. Hoo-hoo!Copy !req
180. Hello, my special friend.Copy !req
181. Sinclair, you were
late this morning.Copy !req
182. Oh, you notice everything.Copy !req
183. Boss, I want you to accept thisCopy !req
184. as my special love-giftCopy !req
185. from me to you from me.Copy !req
186. Four hours late, Sinclair!Copy !req
187. I'm trying to think
of one good reasonCopy !req
188. not to tear your head off
and spit down your throat!Copy !req
189. You don't fool
me, Mr. Richfield.Copy !req
190. You may play the grouchy
grump, but I know the real you.Copy !req
191. You want to run
through a meadow.Copy !req
192. You want to sing a song,Copy !req
193. you want to feel the warm
summer sun on your freckled face.Copy !req
194. Aah!Copy !req
195. I know that deep inside you,Copy !req
196. there's a frightened little
boy yearning to be set free.Copy !req
197. Set him free, B.P.Copy !req
198. The only frightened
little boy inside of meCopy !req
199. is the one I had for breakfast!Copy !req
200. And I'm having
his sister for lunch!Copy !req
201. Oh, you are a
witty wordsmith, sir.Copy !req
202. Sinclair, I ought to kill
you and your whole family,Copy !req
203. but I'd probably get in
trouble with the union.Copy !req
204. As it is there's only
one thing I can do to you.Copy !req
205. You're fired, Sinclair!Copy !req
206. Fired, fired, fired!Copy !req
207. Fired? That means I don't
have to come to work anymore.Copy !req
208. Oh, this is the best
day ever! Oh, thank you!Copy !req
209. - Oh, thank you, sir.
- Blah!Copy !req
210. Thank you, thank you, thank you!Copy !req
211. Oh, joy! Oh, joy!Copy !req
212. Ahh...Copy !req
213. Colors.Copy !req
214. All done. One more.Copy !req
215. Wow.Copy !req
216. Wow.Copy !req
217. Baby making a mess.Copy !req
218. Baby on fire!Copy !req
219. Hello?Copy !req
220. Hello?Copy !req
221. Did you guys ever think that
maybe we're being watched?Copy !req
222. What do you mean, son?Copy !req
223. Well, I mean,
like, all the time,Copy !req
224. by secret cameras
hidden in the walls,Copy !req
225. like... like, there!Copy !req
226. - Or there! Or there!
- Huh?Copy !req
227. Uh... Uh...Copy !req
228. And that maybe our
whole lives are on TVCopy !req
229. in some other
universe somewhere.Copy !req
230. Yeah. Yeah, and if they
stopped watching us,Copy !req
231. we'd cease to exist.Copy !req
232. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
233. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
234. Hey, why is our numerical
system based on 10Copy !req
235. when we only have eight fingers?Copy !req
236. Hey, yeah. We've got eight.Copy !req
237. Hello?Copy !req
238. Father? Father?Copy !req
239. Hmm?Copy !req
240. - Sister?
- Hey. Hi.Copy !req
241. - Look, it's a baby.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!Copy !req
242. Want more juice!Copy !req
243. Yes, I know.Copy !req
244. It's so funny the way
his arms and legs move.Copy !req
245. Want more juice!Copy !req
246. Oh, I could stand here
and watch him all day.Copy !req
247. - Yeah.
- Wow.Copy !req
248. - I want...
- Ooh.Copy !req
249. More... juice!Copy !req
250. Again!Copy !req
251. What are you all doing home?Copy !req
252. It's the middle of the day.Copy !req
253. - Where is Mother?
- Look, everybody, it's Fran.Copy !req
254. - Hi, Fran.
- Hi, Fran.Copy !req
255. Why aren't you in school?Copy !req
256. Oh, I knew we were
supposed to be someplace.Copy !req
257. Hey, Charlene, we're
always someplace.Copy !req
258. - Whoa...
- Whoa...Copy !req
259. Mama bring me food?Copy !req
260. No, Mama couldn't buy
any groceries at the marketCopy !req
261. because they refused
to take our check.Copy !req
262. Apparently, there's no
money in the account.Copy !req
263. How could there be? I haven't
been to work in the longest time.Copy !req
264. - What are you saying?
- I got fired a week ago.Copy !req
265. Oh, It was the happiest
moment of my life.Copy !req
266. No, wait, this is. No, wait...Copy !req
267. Stop that! You've been leaving the house
every morning. Where have you been going?Copy !req
268. For the first couple of days,
I just stood in the driveway,Copy !req
269. but after a while that
stopped being fulfilling,Copy !req
270. so I decided to improve myself.Copy !req
271. I've been going back to school.Copy !req
272. You mean high school?Copy !req
273. Well, I started
off in high school,Copy !req
274. but I got sent
back to junior high.Copy !req
275. It wasn't so much the academics.Copy !req
276. I just had trouble socially.Copy !req
277. This is crazy.Copy !req
278. No, no, no, it's OK.Copy !req
279. Now I'm past my awkward
phase, I'm making friends.Copy !req
280. Hey, I'm even going out for
cheerleader. Fight 'em! Fight 'em!Copy !req
281. Earl, this has got to stop.
Our family is coming apart!Copy !req
282. And I'm beginning to think
this happy plant is a bad thing.Copy !req
283. Hey, Mom, what could be bad about
something that makes you feel good?Copy !req
284. Don't you guys feel good?Copy !req
285. I feel good.Copy !req
286. Gimme a G!Copy !req
287. Give me some food!Copy !req
288. Oh, I'll get you some
food, sweetheart.Copy !req
289. It's about time!Copy !req
290. All these jars are empty!
Who ate all the food?Copy !req
291. Well, we finished off
everything in the refrigerator.Copy !req
292. You ate all the food?Copy !req
293. Uh-huh. We even finished
the baking soda in the back.Copy !req
294. We have no food,
we have no money!Copy !req
295. - We'll live on love.
- Earl, that's it!Copy !req
296. We are going right down
to Mr. Richfield's office,Copy !req
297. and you are going to beg
him to give you your job back!Copy !req
298. But I'll miss my pep rally!Copy !req
299. And you are not
taking this with you.Copy !req
300. You need to get as far
from this as possible,Copy !req
301. back to a normal, healthy
working environment.Copy !req
302. Hey, Eddie boy, join the party.Copy !req
303. You guys are making
fun of me, aren't you?Copy !req
304. No, we're just happy.Copy !req
305. Here, have some
more of the plant.Copy !req
306. No, no, no, I don't
like the happy plant.Copy !req
307. I used to like the happy plant.
Now it just makes me paranoid.Copy !req
308. At least I think it
makes me paranoid.Copy !req
309. You all think I'm
paranoid, don't you?Copy !req
310. Hey, steady there, Eduardo.Copy !req
311. We're here for you.Copy !req
312. We'll ride this out together.Copy !req
313. Hey there, guys.Copy !req
314. Huh?Copy !req
315. It's Earl!Copy !req
316. Hey, there, pally boy.Copy !req
317. Come to join us
for a little nibble?Copy !req
318. No, he hasn't. From
now on I'd appreciate itCopy !req
319. if you keep that stuff
away from my husband.Copy !req
320. Whoa! Looks like somebody didn't
eat her happy plant this morning.Copy !req
321. Did you give Mr. Richfield
some of that plant?Copy !req
322. Mr. Richfield?Copy !req
323. Yeah! Ha-ha!Copy !req
324. What's shaking, ba-aa-aa-by?Copy !req
325. Mr. Richfield, Earl is
very sorry he offended you,Copy !req
326. and wants to know if
he can have his job...Copy !req
327. You're talking about
me in here, aren't you?Copy !req
328. No, Ed. Please, leave us alone.Copy !req
329. OK. After I go, you'll
talk about me, won't you?Copy !req
330. No, man. Be cool!Copy !req
331. We're sorry, Mr. Richfield. It's
just that we're out of money...Copy !req
332. Sinclair, my eyes have
opened in the last few days.Copy !req
333. I've seen the future
of this company,Copy !req
334. and it's a gas, gas, gas!Copy !req
335. From now on,Copy !req
336. nobody has to work around here.Copy !req
337. We can sit around all day
and eat the happy plant.Copy !req
338. Can you dig it?Copy !req
339. Yeah, daddy-o!Copy !req
340. I knew you could!Copy !req
341. And I want you by my
side as my assistant!Copy !req
342. No, my partner. Yeah!Copy !req
343. You and me, Sinclair,Copy !req
344. doing absolutely nothing
and getting paid for it!Copy !req
345. Ooh. Well...Copy !req
346. Chill. Uh... ahem.Copy !req
347. B.P. here. If you got the dime,Copy !req
348. I got the time.Copy !req
349. Oh, hello, sir.
What's happening?Copy !req
350. Uh-huh.Copy !req
351. Mm-hm.Copy !req
352. Mm-hm.Copy !req
353. Crazy! Dig it! I'm there!
Out of sight! We gone!Copy !req
354. Well, I've been fired.Copy !req
355. Huh?Copy !req
356. Bummer.Copy !req
357. Thank you!Copy !req
358. Ohh. Oh, my head.Copy !req
359. My body has this... feeling.Copy !req
360. Uhh...Copy !req
361. Oh, it's like...Copy !req
362. Oh, it's like unhappiness.Copy !req
363. Uhh. I forgot how bad this felt.Copy !req
364. What time is it?Copy !req
365. Um... it's noon.Copy !req
366. - What? Noon?
- Dad, shh!Copy !req
367. I slept through the big game!Copy !req
368. The girls were counting on me
to be the bottom of the pyramid.Copy !req
369. Oh! I need some more
plant. I got to get happy.Copy !req
370. Come on, come on.Copy !req
371. Search. Got to find.Copy !req
372. There's nothing left
but seeds and stems.Copy !req
373. I need some, I need some.
I need some, I need some.Copy !req
374. Oh, look. There's one left.Copy !req
375. I got it! I'm the daddy!Copy !req
376. That's mine! I'm eating it!Copy !req
377. - No!
- It's mine!Copy !req
378. Oh, no. It's mine!Copy !req
379. - Stop it!
- What?Copy !req
380. Look at yourselves!Copy !req
381. Sleeping on the floor!Copy !req
382. Half-eaten food everywhere!Copy !req
383. Is this what our
family has come to?Copy !req
384. Ha-ha, you guys got in trouble!Copy !req
385. Cut it out.Copy !req
386. If you three want to ruin
your lives with that plant,Copy !req
387. I'm not going to stay here
and watch it. We're leaving,Copy !req
388. and we're not coming back
until you clean yourselves up.Copy !req
389. I know the place
is a little messy,Copy !req
390. but it's filled with happiness.Copy !req
391. Hee-hee!Copy !req
392. Uh...Copy !req
393. Hi, I'm Earl.Copy !req
394. This is your brain.Copy !req
395. This is your brain on the plant.Copy !req
396. Ohh!Copy !req
397. Uh...Copy !req
398. Any questions?Copy !req
399. We'll be at Monica's.Copy !req
400. Hmmph!Copy !req
401. Look what I've come down to.Copy !req
402. No wife, no baby, no
food, no money, no job.Copy !req
403. My life has hit rock bottom.Copy !req
404. I know what I have to do now.Copy !req
405. There's got to be more of
that plant here somewhere!Copy !req
406. We better find it soon.Copy !req
407. I'm starting to feel frowny.Copy !req
408. Who's there? Spike?Copy !req
409. Help me. I've fallen,
and I can't get up. Hey...Copy !req
410. Spike!Copy !req
411. Hey, Sinclair, listen.Copy !req
412. "Mom" spelled
upside down is "wow."Copy !req
413. You've been lying
in this spot all week?Copy !req
414. No, a week? Wow!Copy !req
415. Hey, wait, that's another one.Copy !req
416. "Wow" spelled
backwards is, uh...Copy !req
417. Um...Copy !req
418. I had it.Copy !req
419. Look at you.
You're sitting in dirt.Copy !req
420. You smell. You're disgusting.Copy !req
421. Yeah, but I'm happy
'cause I got this.Copy !req
422. Here, pass it around.Copy !req
423. - Mmm.
- Wow.Copy !req
424. Huh?Copy !req
425. Ahh... Oh.Copy !req
426. What?Copy !req
427. Is that how we look?Copy !req
428. Head, elbow...Copy !req
429. Kids, I'm having a thought.Copy !req
430. Go, Dad.Copy !req
431. Maybe Mom's got a point.Copy !req
432. Maybe throwing away everything
real and lasting in our livesCopy !req
433. for a cheap high has a downside.Copy !req
434. Yeah.Copy !req
435. So we agree?Copy !req
436. No more plant?Copy !req
437. - No more plant.
- No more plant.Copy !req
438. No more throwing our lives away?Copy !req
439. Well...Copy !req
440. No more throwing our lives away.Copy !req
441. Good. Now let's go home and
tell your mother the good news.Copy !req
442. But first we have
to destroy the plantCopy !req
443. so we won't ever be
tempted to use it again.Copy !req
444. No, son. To destroy the plant
would be an act of weakness.Copy !req
445. We must be stronger
than the plant.Copy !req
446. We must leave it
here to remind usCopy !req
447. that there is always
temptation in the worldCopy !req
448. and that we must
always be strong!Copy !req
449. Of course, burning
it's a good idea too,Copy !req
450. right, sweetheart?Copy !req
451. Uh-huh.Copy !req
452. Cut. That's a wrap!Copy !req
453. Hey, great job, guys.Copy !req
454. See you next
week. Towel, please.Copy !req
455. - OK, R.S.
- Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
456. Hi, I'm Robert Sinclair,Copy !req
457. but you know me
as Robbie SinclairCopy !req
458. on the adult-themed
mega-hit Dinosaurs.Copy !req
459. - Hey, great show, Robbie!
- Thanks, Dimitri.Copy !req
460. But it got a little
preachy toward the end.Copy !req
461. Indeed, it did. You see, folks,Copy !req
462. drugs are a major problem
in our society. Thanks.Copy !req
463. Drugs ruin lives,
divide familiesCopy !req
464. and lead to heavy-handed,
preachy sitcom episodes like this one.Copy !req
465. Of course, we manage to keep
it delightfully funny and upbeat,Copy !req
466. but other shows aren't so lucky.Copy !req
467. There's an epidemic
in television todayCopy !req
468. that threatens the very fiber
of the comedy we hold so dear.Copy !req
469. When one show does
an anti-drug episode,Copy !req
470. other shows feel
pressured to do one too.Copy !req
471. Now they're even going
after the younger shows.Copy !req
472. We've only been on for a year,Copy !req
473. and here I am
talking to the camera.Copy !req
474. So come on, say no to drugs.Copy !req
475. Help put a stop to preachy
sitcom endings like this one.Copy !req
476. It's up to you to
make a difference.Copy !req