1. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
2. There are many customsCopy !req
3. which The Sacred Book of
Dinosaur commands us to obey.Copy !req
4. But none is as
important as the howling.Copy !req
5. Each month, on the
evening of the full moon,Copy !req
6. every male dinosaur
who has come of ageCopy !req
7. climbs to the top
of the mountainCopy !req
8. and howls his mightiest howl.Copy !req
9. Why?Copy !req
10. - Why what?
- Why do we do this?Copy !req
11. We've been doing
it for a million years.Copy !req
12. Why?Copy !req
13. It's written in The
Sacred Book of Dinosaur.Copy !req
14. - Who wrote it there?
- Some sacred guy.Copy !req
15. I don't know, Dad.
I just don't see it.Copy !req
16. What does this have
to do with my life?Copy !req
17. It says right here,
"Only by the howlingCopy !req
18. do we defeat the dark spiritCopy !req
19. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaur,Copy !req
20. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."Copy !req
21. And you buy that?Copy !req
22. Hey, this book's been
around a million years.Copy !req
23. You've been around
what, 15 years?Copy !req
24. Guess who wins?Copy !req
25. But it just doesn't make
sense. Today, I'm just a kid.Copy !req
26. But tomorrow I climb up the
mountain and yell at the moon,Copy !req
27. and that makes me
a grown-up? Why?Copy !req
28. Because your mother
sent out 150 invitations,Copy !req
29. and we got a dead rhino
and 10 tons of potato salad.Copy !req
30. So tomorrow night you are
gonna scamper your scaly buttCopy !req
31. up that hill and
howl like a banshee!Copy !req
32. Uh, uh... a-ooh!Copy !req
33. You haven't been practicing.Copy !req
34. Have you been using those
eight-track tapes I got you?Copy !req
35. All the time, Dad.Copy !req
36. Look, I'm going downstairs.Copy !req
37. I don't want to hear any
silence coming out of this room.Copy !req
38. All right.Copy !req
39. Ah. Oh, boy.Copy !req
40. Howling at the Moon.Copy !req
41. Tape one: Howling for Beginners.Copy !req
42. Let's start with
this simple phrase:Copy !req
43. OK.Copy !req
44. A-ooh.Copy !req
45. A-ooh.Copy !req
46. - Very good.
- Thanks.Copy !req
47. Now try again, with
more expression.Copy !req
48. A-ooh!Copy !req
49. A-ooh.Copy !req
50. Very good.Copy !req
51. Well, we can't broil it.Copy !req
52. $4.95 a ton, and it isn't
even disemboweled yet.Copy !req
53. I'm not cleaning this.Copy !req
54. What do you think,
Mom? 28 hours at 350?Copy !req
55. Ooh. Are you dead?Copy !req
56. Hello!Copy !req
57. In my day it was
a solemn occasion.Copy !req
58. We didn't have all this
fanfare and rhinoceros.Copy !req
59. "Mr. And Mrs. Earl Sinclair..."Copy !req
60. And baby!Copy !req
61. "cordially invite
you to join them..."Copy !req
62. And baby!Copy !req
63. "as their son
Robert Mark SinclairCopy !req
64. is called up the
mountain for his howling,Copy !req
65. with reception to follow."Copy !req
66. Oh, my little baby!Copy !req
67. Hey, I'm your little baby!Copy !req
68. I'm your little baby!Copy !req
69. Waa!Copy !req
70. Hello? Practicing hard?Copy !req
71. Out of my room, Charlene.Copy !req
72. - Come on, let's hear one.
- No!Copy !req
73. - Why not?
- Because I said no.Copy !req
74. Because you have a wussy howl.Copy !req
75. I do not! How'd you like
me to bite your head off?Copy !req
76. Oh, I'm so scared,
Mr. Big Adult Male.Copy !req
77. Oh, yeah? Well, check this out.Copy !req
78. A-ooh!Copy !req
79. Hmm.Copy !req
80. You gotta commit to it, Rob.Copy !req
81. I can't commit to it
because I don't get it.Copy !req
82. I can only commit to things
that make sense to me.Copy !req
83. Oh, give me a break.Copy !req
84. A dinosaur's howl is
a very personal thing.Copy !req
85. You can't howl your
mightiest howl for no reason.Copy !req
86. Oh?Copy !req
87. A-ooh!Copy !req
88. That's my boy!Copy !req
89. - Uh...
- Uh... come on.Copy !req
90. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
91. Yeah! That's lunch!Copy !req
92. Oh, boy.Copy !req
93. Pally boy, seems
like only yesterdayCopy !req
94. that Robbie shed his first skin.Copy !req
95. It's hard to believe he's
going up the hill tonight.Copy !req
96. Yeah. Wait till you
hear the howl on this kid.Copy !req
97. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
98. Hey, uh... hey, Roy,Copy !req
99. there's something
I gotta ask you.Copy !req
100. I guess it's no secret
that you're my best friend.Copy !req
101. Yeah, back at ya, pally boy.Copy !req
102. Tonight, up on the hill,Copy !req
103. Robbie's gonna
need someone specialCopy !req
104. to present him at
his first howling.Copy !req
105. Yeah.Copy !req
106. Well, Roy, you wanna do it?Copy !req
107. Oh, I'm visibly moved.Copy !req
108. Pally boy, this is such an
honor that words escape me.Copy !req
109. Roy, can you hold that in?Copy !req
110. No! The feelings are pouring
out that you should pick me.Copy !req
111. Do you have to do that?Copy !req
112. You've known me a long time.Copy !req
113. I don't usually go in
for that sensitivity stuff,Copy !req
114. but at the risk of
starting a rumor,Copy !req
115. I, uh, I feel very
close to you right now.Copy !req
116. Please don't say anymore.Copy !req
117. Huh?Copy !req
118. You're disgusting me, the way
you chew with your mouth open.Copy !req
119. I'm telling you, I
can see your lunch,Copy !req
120. and your lunch can see me!Copy !req
121. - Nah.
- How you doing?Copy !req
122. Will you tell him
it's disgusting?Copy !req
123. Hey, listen, I hate to be
critical but I have to agree.Copy !req
124. And let me tell you, you got one
major plaque buildup back here.Copy !req
125. Huh?Copy !req
126. Oh, jeez. Swallow it,
spit it out, do something!Copy !req
127. Yeah, make up your mind.Copy !req
128. Whoa! Man, do I need a shower.Copy !req
129. Earl, you hurt my feelingsCopy !req
130. and embarrassed
me in front of my lunch.Copy !req
131. Would it be so hard to close
your mouth while you're eating?Copy !req
132. Would it be so hard to close
your eyes while I'm eating?Copy !req
133. Just get your open mouth
out of my line of vision.Copy !req
134. - Well, shut your eyes.
- Shut your head!Copy !req
135. - Shut your eyes!
- Shut your head!Copy !req
136. Hey, there, pally boy,Copy !req
137. this is not a time
for petty bickering,Copy !req
138. with young Robbie boy
going up the hill tonight.Copy !req
139. You're right. I don't
know what I was thinking.Copy !req
140. So see you tonight
at seven, huh?Copy !req
141. Make it a quarter to
seven. You're always late.Copy !req
142. And wear something nice.Copy !req
143. Hey, you don't like
the way I dress?Copy !req
144. Oh. This one for me?Copy !req
145. No, no, dear,
that's not for you.Copy !req
146. Ooh, this for me?Copy !req
147. No, no, dear, all of these
are Robbie's howling gifts.Copy !req
148. None of these are for you.Copy !req
149. Ooh! This for me!Copy !req
150. Fran, I'm home,Copy !req
151. I'm hungry, and
I hate everything.Copy !req
152. - Not the mama.
- Aw, neither are you.Copy !req
153. Robbie got lots
of new gifts today.Copy !req
154. Ooh! More $4 pen
and pencil sets?Copy !req
155. Big whoop!Copy !req
156. Earl, it's traditional.Copy !req
157. It's cheap. You'd think on this,Copy !req
158. the most important
night of my son's life,Copy !req
159. my friends could
do a little betterCopy !req
160. than a lousy pen and pencil set.Copy !req
161. Is something
bothering you, Earl?Copy !req
162. Bothering me? No!Copy !req
163. After 27 years of friendship,
you'd think I could tell a guyCopy !req
164. he eats like a pig
and dresses like a slobCopy !req
165. without him getting
all uppity about it.Copy !req
166. But I'm not gonna
let it bother me.Copy !req
167. I got a family that loves me,Copy !req
168. and that is what's important.Copy !req
169. - Who do you love?
- Mama.Copy !req
170. - Who do you love second best?
- Mama.Copy !req
171. All right, who is
talking to you right now?Copy !req
172. Not the mama.Copy !req
173. I'm going upstairs.Copy !req
174. Ma, is it me, or is Daddy
in a really bad mood?Copy !req
175. No, your father just gets
cranky like this before a howling.Copy !req
176. They all do, every month.Copy !req
177. It's pre-howling
syndrome, P.H.S.Copy !req
178. I'm so glad I'm a girl.Copy !req
179. Congratulations.Copy !req
180. You are now ready to
howl with confidence,Copy !req
181. knowing that you will not
only make your family proud,Copy !req
182. but keep our civilization
from coming to an end.Copy !req
183. Um, a... a-ooh.Copy !req
184. A-ooh.Copy !req
185. Oh, God, who am I kidding?Copy !req
186. OK, kid, it's showtime!Copy !req
187. Dad, I got a real
problem with this.Copy !req
188. Hey, my little
howler is nervous?Copy !req
189. Come here.Copy !req
190. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
191. I'm gonna tell you a little
something my dad told meCopy !req
192. just before I went up the hill.Copy !req
193. Great.Copy !req
194. He said, "Earl, unlock
that bathroom door."Copy !req
195. Of course, that
doesn't apply here,Copy !req
196. but you get the gist.Copy !req
197. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
198. Dad, we've gotta
talk about this.Copy !req
199. No, no, no. First we all howl,Copy !req
200. then we all talk.Copy !req
201. We've been doing it that
way for a million years.Copy !req
202. - Stop it!
- Come on!Copy !req
203. Hey, guys!Copy !req
204. - Hi, hi.
- Yeah, hi.Copy !req
205. Let's howl and get on to
the settlement of grievances.Copy !req
206. Good, 'cause I want an apology
for that turtlehead remark.Copy !req
207. No way.Copy !req
208. - Hi there, Robbie.
- Hi.Copy !req
209. Uh, here's just
a little somethingCopy !req
210. to help usher you
into adult malehood.Copy !req
211. Wow. Huh?Copy !req
212. Well, lookie here,
a pen and pencil setCopy !req
213. from my oldest
and dearest friend.Copy !req
214. What a wonderful,
highly original,Copy !req
215. well-thought-out gift.Copy !req
216. Ah, thank you.Copy !req
217. Well, tonight is a
very special nightCopy !req
218. for a young dinosaur
I've known for many years.Copy !req
219. That's fine. I'll
take it from here.Copy !req
220. I thought you wanted
me to introduce...Copy !req
221. - I changed my mind.
- Jeez.Copy !req
222. All right, everybody,
you know my son Robbie.Copy !req
223. Yeah.Copy !req
224. - There's the moon. Hit it.
- Um...Copy !req
225. I've been giving
this a lot of thought,Copy !req
226. and... and this howling thing...Copy !req
227. well, I don't believe in it.Copy !req
228. Robbie!Copy !req
229. Everybody's looking!Copy !req
230. I mean, think about it
logically. The book says,Copy !req
231. "Dinosaur will turn
against dinosaurCopy !req
232. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."Copy !req
233. How would not
howling at the moonCopy !req
234. bring an end to
our days on Earth?Copy !req
235. Because if you
don't howl, I'll kill you.Copy !req
236. What could possibly happen?Copy !req
237. - Earthquake!
- Flood!Copy !req
238. - Plagues!
- This isn't the Dark Ages.Copy !req
239. This is 60 million BC!Copy !req
240. Why don't we try
not howling one time?Copy !req
241. Nothing's gonna happen!Copy !req
242. Look!Copy !req
243. Huh?Copy !req
244. Where's the moon? Where'd it go?Copy !req
245. It's gone!Copy !req
246. It's the end of the world!Copy !req
247. Wait.Copy !req
248. Wait!Copy !req
249. Hang on! Wait!Copy !req
250. Oh, Robbie!Copy !req
251. Do you hear something?Copy !req
252. No. What?Copy !req
253. Shh!Copy !req
254. A low rumbling, like
the Earth is getting readyCopy !req
255. to open up and swallow
us. Don't you hear it?Copy !req
256. - It's the icemaker.
- Quiet!Copy !req
257. You've brought about a
cataclysm against all life on Earth.Copy !req
258. I don't wanna hear
any more out of you!Copy !req
259. OK.Copy !req
260. Are we dead yet?Copy !req
261. No, dear.Copy !req
262. Hmm.Copy !req
263. When are we gonna be dead?Copy !req
264. Very soon, dear.Copy !req
265. My flashlight went out.Copy !req
266. I think the batteries are dead.Copy !req
267. D-d-d-dead? It's starting!Copy !req
268. The batteries are
always the first to go.Copy !req
269. Earl, come here. Let
me tell you something.Copy !req
270. What? What?Copy !req
271. - Ooh!
- Get ahold of yourself!Copy !req
272. Thank you. You're right, Ethyl.Copy !req
273. I am the guardian and
protector of this family,Copy !req
274. and it's my job to be
a calming influenceCopy !req
275. while we huddle together
hopelessly in the dark.Copy !req
276. Dad, why don't we
just keep the lights on?Copy !req
277. - The lights work?
- Yep.Copy !req
278. Hey! All I am trying to
do is create a mood here.Copy !req
279. - Earl?
- What?Copy !req
280. I'm going to be very
disappointed if this world endsCopy !req
281. and you and Robbie are
still angry at each other.Copy !req
282. He destroyed the universe!Copy !req
283. Any parent can forgive
the little things, Earl.Copy !req
284. It's these big
things that test us.Copy !req
285. All right, all right.
I forgive you.Copy !req
286. So you brought about the
end of everything. So what?Copy !req
287. Uh, sorry, Dad.Copy !req
288. Yeah, it's all part
of growing up.Copy !req
289. OK.Copy !req
290. Now, these are our
last few hours on Earth.Copy !req
291. I want us to spend
them being togetherCopy !req
292. and loving each
other and realizingCopy !req
293. that the most important
thing in the worldCopy !req
294. is being a family.Copy !req
295. Ahh. Mmm.Copy !req
296. Should I turn on the TV?Copy !req
297. - Yes!
- Good.Copy !req
298. As you know,Copy !req
299. the end of the world is
upon us, and that meansCopy !req
300. you save big! Values galore
here at Discount Charlie's!Copy !req
301. We're slashing high prices.Copy !req
302. This refrigerator/freezer,
$1,399.95,Copy !req
303. now two for a dollar!
So come on down!Copy !req
304. We're dealing like
there's no tomorrow!Copy !req
305. Ahh.Copy !req
306. - Rrrr.
- Ahh.Copy !req
307. Ah.Copy !req
308. Look at that!Copy !req
309. Oh!Copy !req
310. The sun came up.Copy !req
311. It's another day! Wow!Copy !req
312. Are we dead?Copy !req
313. No.Copy !req
314. You promised!Copy !req
315. Look.Copy !req
316. See, Dad, the world
didn't come to an end.Copy !req
317. Give me that.Copy !req
318. Maybe we should look
at this as a new beginning.Copy !req
319. You know, the entire dinosaur
community has been reborn.Copy !req
320. Maybe nothing will
ever be the same again.Copy !req
321. The Antediluvian
Broadcasting CompanyCopy !req
322. now begins its broadcast day.Copy !req
323. Wheel of...Copy !req
324. Hello there, Fran.Copy !req
325. Hello, Roy.Copy !req
326. Isn't it wonderful,
the world not ending?Copy !req
327. Yeah, I suppose so.Copy !req
328. Something I can do for you?Copy !req
329. Well, Earl, if the world
had ended last night,Copy !req
330. I could've overlooked
certain things,Copy !req
331. but unfortunately it didn't, so
I've come for my beach thongsCopy !req
332. and that hammer you borrowed.Copy !req
333. I'd ask you to return the
food you've eaten here,Copy !req
334. but most of it fell out of
your mouth before you left.Copy !req
335. Hey, Roy.Copy !req
336. Huh? Oh, hi, Robbie.Copy !req
337. Don't you talk to
my kid like that.Copy !req
338. Huh? I'll talk to your
kid anyway I want.Copy !req
339. Hi, Robbie! Hi, Robbie!Copy !req
340. Hey, you guys, come on. Dad.Copy !req
341. Uncle Roy!Copy !req
342. Guys, what's happening?Copy !req
343. You've been best friends
since before I was born.Copy !req
344. Can't you talk this out?Copy !req
345. I'll take that as a "no".Copy !req
346. Earl!Copy !req
347. Get your head out of
his mouth right now!Copy !req
348. He started it!Copy !req
349. Uh-uh.Copy !req
350. Look at him, talking
with his mouth full again.Copy !req
351. Roy, if you bite my
husband's head off...Copy !req
352. You ever come
near my house again,Copy !req
353. I'll feed you to my family!Copy !req
354. Yeah, then I won't!Copy !req
355. - Good!
- Fine!Copy !req
356. - Fine!
- Good.Copy !req
357. "Only by howling do
we defeat the dark spiritCopy !req
358. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaur."Copy !req
359. Oh.Copy !req
360. Many wonder if this rash
of incidents is connectedCopy !req
361. to last night's missed howling?Copy !req
362. In the meantime, there
seems to be no end in sightCopy !req
363. to the violence and general
crankiness among males.Copy !req
364. Now here's Dwayne with sports.Copy !req
365. Oh, great.Copy !req
366. Throw it to me with
30 seconds left, huh!Copy !req
367. Come here. I'll bite
your little leg off!Copy !req
368. Hey, Dad, Roy just called.Copy !req
369. There is no Roy.Copy !req
370. He wants to return all the
stuff he borrowed over the yearsCopy !req
371. but he won't set
foot in our house.Copy !req
372. So where does he want to meet?Copy !req
373. Well, right away, I see my
barbecue apron is missing.Copy !req
374. I thought the barbecue
apron was a gift.Copy !req
375. It was a gift for a friend,Copy !req
376. so I want it back from you.Copy !req
377. Hey, hey, Roy.Copy !req
378. Dad, come on, stop it.Copy !req
379. Well, he's the one
who called me up here.Copy !req
380. I did not. You called me.Copy !req
381. Uh... Look, I had
to call you up here.Copy !req
382. You have to howl.Copy !req
383. I wouldn't howl with him if he
was the last dinosaur on Earth.Copy !req
384. Besides, there's no
reason to howl anymore.Copy !req
385. Yes, there is. I didn't
understand it before,Copy !req
386. but if you don't howl,
terrible things happen.Copy !req
387. No, they don't. The world
didn't come to an end.Copy !req
388. Nothing bad happened at all.Copy !req
389. You're not friends anymore.Copy !req
390. A lifelong friendship is
about to end. Isn't that bad?Copy !req
391. - Uh-uh. I'm glad.
- No. It's good.Copy !req
392. OK, fine. Maybe I was wrong.Copy !req
393. After all, Dad,Copy !req
394. a best friend wouldn't
say you had a wussy howl.Copy !req
395. Did you say that I
had a wussy howl?Copy !req
396. I don't know. Did I?Copy !req
397. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.Copy !req
398. Well, then, I stand
by it. Wussy howl!Copy !req
399. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
400. I can howl you under the tableCopy !req
401. any moonlit night of the week!Copy !req
402. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!Copy !req
403. - Well, you're on!
- All right!Copy !req
404. And after the howling,
we settle our grievances.Copy !req
405. You two best
friends for 27 yearsCopy !req
406. got anything you want
to say to each other?Copy !req
407. Listen, all this stuff
you borrowed...Copy !req
408. You can hang
on to it for a while.Copy !req
409. Thanks, 'cause
there's really nothing leftCopy !req
410. in my apartment now anyway.Copy !req
411. Except for your barbecue apron.Copy !req
412. I'm sorry I gave you a hard
time about the pen and pencil set.Copy !req
413. I know that wasn't too original,Copy !req
414. but I don't have
any kids of my own,Copy !req
415. so I wanted Robbie to
have the pen and pencil setCopy !req
416. my dad gave me
on my howling day.Copy !req
417. Roy, your dad gave you this?Copy !req
418. Yeah.Copy !req
419. It's the one his dad gave
to him on his howling day.Copy !req
420. Aw, jeez. Aw!Copy !req
421. You're my best friend.Copy !req
422. Buddy, come on over for dinner.Copy !req
423. - OK.
- Come on.Copy !req
424. Yeah.Copy !req
425. - Oh, uh, Robbie?
- Yeah, Dad?Copy !req
426. You did a good thing here.Copy !req
427. Oh, thanks, Dad.Copy !req
428. You know, sometimes
it's not importantCopy !req
429. to understand why
you do something.Copy !req
430. I howl because I believe in it.Copy !req
431. I don't know
why I believe in it,Copy !req
432. I just do.Copy !req
433. I understand, Dad, yeah.Copy !req
434. OK, I'll see you at home.Copy !req
435. OK. Bye.Copy !req
436. Hey, Earl, what about my stuff?Copy !req
437. The kid'll get it. That's
why you have kids.Copy !req
438. Hmm. Maybe I should get one.Copy !req
439. Ahh.Copy !req
440. "Only by howling do
we defeat the dark spiritCopy !req
441. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaurCopy !req
442. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."Copy !req
443. A-ooooh!Copy !req
444. A-ooh...Copy !req