1. Honey, I'm home.
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2. There are many customs
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3. which The Sacred Book of
Dinosaur commands us to obey.
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4. But none is as
important as the howling.
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5. Each month, on the
evening of the full moon,
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6. every male dinosaur
who has come of age
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7. climbs to the top
of the mountain
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8. and howls his mightiest howl.
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9. Why?
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10. - Why what?
- Why do we do this?
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11. We've been doing
it for a million years.
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12. Why?
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13. It's written in The
Sacred Book of Dinosaur.
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14. - Who wrote it there?
- Some sacred guy.
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15. I don't know, Dad.
I just don't see it.
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16. What does this have
to do with my life?
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17. It says right here,
"Only by the howling
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18. do we defeat the dark spirit
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19. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaur,
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20. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."
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21. And you buy that?
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22. Hey, this book's been
around a million years.
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23. You've been around
what, 15 years?
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24. Guess who wins?
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25. But it just doesn't make
sense. Today, I'm just a kid.
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26. But tomorrow I climb up the
mountain and yell at the moon,
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27. and that makes me
a grown-up? Why?
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28. Because your mother
sent out 150 invitations,
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29. and we got a dead rhino
and 10 tons of potato salad.
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30. So tomorrow night you are
gonna scamper your scaly butt
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31. up that hill and
howl like a banshee!
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32. Uh, uh... a-ooh!
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33. You haven't been practicing.
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34. Have you been using those
eight-track tapes I got you?
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35. All the time, Dad.
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36. Look, I'm going downstairs.
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37. I don't want to hear any
silence coming out of this room.
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38. All right.
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39. Ah. Oh, boy.
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40. Howling at the Moon.
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41. Tape one: Howling for Beginners.
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42. Let's start with
this simple phrase:
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43. OK.
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44. A-ooh.
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45. A-ooh.
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46. - Very good.
- Thanks.
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47. Now try again, with
more expression.
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48. A-ooh!
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49. A-ooh.
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50. Very good.
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51. Well, we can't broil it.
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52. $4.95 a ton, and it isn't
even disemboweled yet.
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53. I'm not cleaning this.
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54. What do you think,
Mom? 28 hours at 350?
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55. Ooh. Are you dead?
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56. Hello!
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57. In my day it was
a solemn occasion.
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58. We didn't have all this
fanfare and rhinoceros.
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59. "Mr. And Mrs. Earl Sinclair..."
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60. And baby!
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61. "cordially invite
you to join them..."
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62. And baby!
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63. "as their son
Robert Mark Sinclair
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64. is called up the
mountain for his howling,
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65. with reception to follow."
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66. Oh, my little baby!
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67. Hey, I'm your little baby!
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68. I'm your little baby!
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69. Waa!
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70. Hello? Practicing hard?
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71. Out of my room, Charlene.
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72. - Come on, let's hear one.
- No!
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73. - Why not?
- Because I said no.
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74. Because you have a wussy howl.
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75. I do not! How'd you like
me to bite your head off?
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76. Oh, I'm so scared,
Mr. Big Adult Male.
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77. Oh, yeah? Well, check this out.
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78. A-ooh!
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79. Hmm.
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80. You gotta commit to it, Rob.
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81. I can't commit to it
because I don't get it.
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82. I can only commit to things
that make sense to me.
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83. Oh, give me a break.
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84. A dinosaur's howl is
a very personal thing.
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85. You can't howl your
mightiest howl for no reason.
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86. Oh?
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87. A-ooh!
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88. That's my boy!
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89. - Uh...
- Uh... come on.
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90. Oh, yeah!
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91. Yeah! That's lunch!
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92. Oh, boy.
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93. Pally boy, seems
like only yesterday
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94. that Robbie shed his first skin.
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95. It's hard to believe he's
going up the hill tonight.
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96. Yeah. Wait till you
hear the howl on this kid.
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97. Hey, hey, hey!
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98. Hey, uh... hey, Roy,
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99. there's something
I gotta ask you.
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100. I guess it's no secret
that you're my best friend.
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101. Yeah, back at ya, pally boy.
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102. Tonight, up on the hill,
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103. Robbie's gonna
need someone special
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104. to present him at
his first howling.
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105. Yeah.
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106. Well, Roy, you wanna do it?
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107. Oh, I'm visibly moved.
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108. Pally boy, this is such an
honor that words escape me.
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109. Roy, can you hold that in?
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110. No! The feelings are pouring
out that you should pick me.
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111. Do you have to do that?
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112. You've known me a long time.
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113. I don't usually go in
for that sensitivity stuff,
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114. but at the risk of
starting a rumor,
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115. I, uh, I feel very
close to you right now.
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116. Please don't say anymore.
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117. Huh?
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118. You're disgusting me, the way
you chew with your mouth open.
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119. I'm telling you, I
can see your lunch,
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120. and your lunch can see me!
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121. - Nah.
- How you doing?
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122. Will you tell him
it's disgusting?
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123. Hey, listen, I hate to be
critical but I have to agree.
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124. And let me tell you, you got one
major plaque buildup back here.
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125. Huh?
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126. Oh, jeez. Swallow it,
spit it out, do something!
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127. Yeah, make up your mind.
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128. Whoa! Man, do I need a shower.
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129. Earl, you hurt my feelings
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130. and embarrassed
me in front of my lunch.
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131. Would it be so hard to close
your mouth while you're eating?
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132. Would it be so hard to close
your eyes while I'm eating?
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133. Just get your open mouth
out of my line of vision.
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134. - Well, shut your eyes.
- Shut your head!
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135. - Shut your eyes!
- Shut your head!
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136. Hey, there, pally boy,
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137. this is not a time
for petty bickering,
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138. with young Robbie boy
going up the hill tonight.
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139. You're right. I don't
know what I was thinking.
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140. So see you tonight
at seven, huh?
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141. Make it a quarter to
seven. You're always late.
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142. And wear something nice.
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143. Hey, you don't like
the way I dress?
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144. Oh. This one for me?
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145. No, no, dear,
that's not for you.
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146. Ooh, this for me?
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147. No, no, dear, all of these
are Robbie's howling gifts.
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148. None of these are for you.
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149. Ooh! This for me!
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150. Fran, I'm home,
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151. I'm hungry, and
I hate everything.
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152. - Not the mama.
- Aw, neither are you.
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153. Robbie got lots
of new gifts today.
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154. Ooh! More $4 pen
and pencil sets?
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155. Big whoop!
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156. Earl, it's traditional.
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157. It's cheap. You'd think on this,
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158. the most important
night of my son's life,
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159. my friends could
do a little better
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160. than a lousy pen and pencil set.
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161. Is something
bothering you, Earl?
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162. Bothering me? No!
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163. After 27 years of friendship,
you'd think I could tell a guy
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164. he eats like a pig
and dresses like a slob
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165. without him getting
all uppity about it.
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166. But I'm not gonna
let it bother me.
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167. I got a family that loves me,
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168. and that is what's important.
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169. - Who do you love?
- Mama.
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170. - Who do you love second best?
- Mama.
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171. All right, who is
talking to you right now?
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172. Not the mama.
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173. I'm going upstairs.
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174. Ma, is it me, or is Daddy
in a really bad mood?
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175. No, your father just gets
cranky like this before a howling.
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176. They all do, every month.
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177. It's pre-howling
syndrome, P.H.S.
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178. I'm so glad I'm a girl.
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179. Congratulations.
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180. You are now ready to
howl with confidence,
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181. knowing that you will not
only make your family proud,
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182. but keep our civilization
from coming to an end.
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183. Um, a... a-ooh.
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184. A-ooh.
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185. Oh, God, who am I kidding?
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186. OK, kid, it's showtime!
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187. Dad, I got a real
problem with this.
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188. Hey, my little
howler is nervous?
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189. Come here.
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190. What are you gonna do?
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191. I'm gonna tell you a little
something my dad told me
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192. just before I went up the hill.
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193. Great.
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194. He said, "Earl, unlock
that bathroom door."
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195. Of course, that
doesn't apply here,
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196. but you get the gist.
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197. Uh, yeah.
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198. Dad, we've gotta
talk about this.
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199. No, no, no. First we all howl,
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200. then we all talk.
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201. We've been doing it that
way for a million years.
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202. - Stop it!
- Come on!
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203. Hey, guys!
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204. - Hi, hi.
- Yeah, hi.
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205. Let's howl and get on to
the settlement of grievances.
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206. Good, 'cause I want an apology
for that turtlehead remark.
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207. No way.
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208. - Hi there, Robbie.
- Hi.
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209. Uh, here's just
a little something
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210. to help usher you
into adult malehood.
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211. Wow. Huh?
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212. Well, lookie here,
a pen and pencil set
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213. from my oldest
and dearest friend.
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214. What a wonderful,
highly original,
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215. well-thought-out gift.
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216. Ah, thank you.
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217. Well, tonight is a
very special night
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218. for a young dinosaur
I've known for many years.
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219. That's fine. I'll
take it from here.
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220. I thought you wanted
me to introduce...
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221. - I changed my mind.
- Jeez.
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222. All right, everybody,
you know my son Robbie.
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223. Yeah.
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224. - There's the moon. Hit it.
- Um...
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225. I've been giving
this a lot of thought,
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226. and... and this howling thing...
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227. well, I don't believe in it.
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228. Robbie!
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229. Everybody's looking!
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230. I mean, think about it
logically. The book says,
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231. "Dinosaur will turn
against dinosaur
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232. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."
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233. How would not
howling at the moon
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234. bring an end to
our days on Earth?
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235. Because if you
don't howl, I'll kill you.
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236. What could possibly happen?
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237. - Earthquake!
- Flood!
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238. - Plagues!
- This isn't the Dark Ages.
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239. This is 60 million BC!
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240. Why don't we try
not howling one time?
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241. Nothing's gonna happen!
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242. Look!
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243. Huh?
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244. Where's the moon? Where'd it go?
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245. It's gone!
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246. It's the end of the world!
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247. Wait.
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248. Wait!
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249. Hang on! Wait!
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250. Oh, Robbie!
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251. Do you hear something?
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252. No. What?
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253. Shh!
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254. A low rumbling, like
the Earth is getting ready
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255. to open up and swallow
us. Don't you hear it?
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256. - It's the icemaker.
- Quiet!
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257. You've brought about a
cataclysm against all life on Earth.
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258. I don't wanna hear
any more out of you!
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259. OK.
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260. Are we dead yet?
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261. No, dear.
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262. Hmm.
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263. When are we gonna be dead?
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264. Very soon, dear.
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265. My flashlight went out.
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266. I think the batteries are dead.
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267. D-d-d-dead? It's starting!
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268. The batteries are
always the first to go.
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269. Earl, come here. Let
me tell you something.
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270. What? What?
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271. - Ooh!
- Get ahold of yourself!
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272. Thank you. You're right, Ethyl.
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273. I am the guardian and
protector of this family,
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274. and it's my job to be
a calming influence
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275. while we huddle together
hopelessly in the dark.
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276. Dad, why don't we
just keep the lights on?
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277. - The lights work?
- Yep.
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278. Hey! All I am trying to
do is create a mood here.
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279. - Earl?
- What?
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280. I'm going to be very
disappointed if this world ends
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281. and you and Robbie are
still angry at each other.
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282. He destroyed the universe!
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283. Any parent can forgive
the little things, Earl.
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284. It's these big
things that test us.
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285. All right, all right.
I forgive you.
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286. So you brought about the
end of everything. So what?
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287. Uh, sorry, Dad.
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288. Yeah, it's all part
of growing up.
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289. OK.
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290. Now, these are our
last few hours on Earth.
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291. I want us to spend
them being together
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292. and loving each
other and realizing
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293. that the most important
thing in the world
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294. is being a family.
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295. Ahh. Mmm.
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296. Should I turn on the TV?
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297. - Yes!
- Good.
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298. As you know,
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299. the end of the world is
upon us, and that means
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300. you save big! Values galore
here at Discount Charlie's!
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301. We're slashing high prices.
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302. This refrigerator/freezer,
$1,399.95,
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303. now two for a dollar!
So come on down!
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304. We're dealing like
there's no tomorrow!
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305. Ahh.
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306. - Rrrr.
- Ahh.
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307. Ah.
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308. Look at that!
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309. Oh!
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310. The sun came up.
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311. It's another day! Wow!
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312. Are we dead?
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313. No.
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314. You promised!
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315. Look.
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316. See, Dad, the world
didn't come to an end.
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317. Give me that.
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318. Maybe we should look
at this as a new beginning.
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319. You know, the entire dinosaur
community has been reborn.
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320. Maybe nothing will
ever be the same again.
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321. The Antediluvian
Broadcasting Company
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322. now begins its broadcast day.
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323. Wheel of...
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324. Hello there, Fran.
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325. Hello, Roy.
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326. Isn't it wonderful,
the world not ending?
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327. Yeah, I suppose so.
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328. Something I can do for you?
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329. Well, Earl, if the world
had ended last night,
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330. I could've overlooked
certain things,
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331. but unfortunately it didn't, so
I've come for my beach thongs
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332. and that hammer you borrowed.
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333. I'd ask you to return the
food you've eaten here,
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334. but most of it fell out of
your mouth before you left.
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335. Hey, Roy.
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336. Huh? Oh, hi, Robbie.
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337. Don't you talk to
my kid like that.
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338. Huh? I'll talk to your
kid anyway I want.
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339. Hi, Robbie! Hi, Robbie!
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340. Hey, you guys, come on. Dad.
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341. Uncle Roy!
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342. Guys, what's happening?
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343. You've been best friends
since before I was born.
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344. Can't you talk this out?
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345. I'll take that as a "no".
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346. Earl!
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347. Get your head out of
his mouth right now!
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348. He started it!
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349. Uh-uh.
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350. Look at him, talking
with his mouth full again.
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351. Roy, if you bite my
husband's head off...
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352. You ever come
near my house again,
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353. I'll feed you to my family!
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354. Yeah, then I won't!
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355. - Good!
- Fine!
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356. - Fine!
- Good.
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357. "Only by howling do
we defeat the dark spirit
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358. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaur."
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359. Oh.
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360. Many wonder if this rash
of incidents is connected
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361. to last night's missed howling?
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362. In the meantime, there
seems to be no end in sight
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363. to the violence and general
crankiness among males.
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364. Now here's Dwayne with sports.
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365. Oh, great.
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366. Throw it to me with
30 seconds left, huh!
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367. Come here. I'll bite
your little leg off!
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368. Hey, Dad, Roy just called.
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369. There is no Roy.
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370. He wants to return all the
stuff he borrowed over the years
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371. but he won't set
foot in our house.
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372. So where does he want to meet?
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373. Well, right away, I see my
barbecue apron is missing.
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374. I thought the barbecue
apron was a gift.
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375. It was a gift for a friend,
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376. so I want it back from you.
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377. Hey, hey, Roy.
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378. Dad, come on, stop it.
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379. Well, he's the one
who called me up here.
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380. I did not. You called me.
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381. Uh... Look, I had
to call you up here.
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382. You have to howl.
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383. I wouldn't howl with him if he
was the last dinosaur on Earth.
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384. Besides, there's no
reason to howl anymore.
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385. Yes, there is. I didn't
understand it before,
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386. but if you don't howl,
terrible things happen.
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387. No, they don't. The world
didn't come to an end.
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388. Nothing bad happened at all.
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389. You're not friends anymore.
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390. A lifelong friendship is
about to end. Isn't that bad?
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391. - Uh-uh. I'm glad.
- No. It's good.
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392. OK, fine. Maybe I was wrong.
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393. After all, Dad,
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394. a best friend wouldn't
say you had a wussy howl.
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395. Did you say that I
had a wussy howl?
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396. I don't know. Did I?
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397. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
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398. Well, then, I stand
by it. Wussy howl!
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399. Oh, yeah?
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400. I can howl you under the table
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401. any moonlit night of the week!
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402. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
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403. - Well, you're on!
- All right!
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404. And after the howling,
we settle our grievances.
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405. You two best
friends for 27 years
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406. got anything you want
to say to each other?
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407. Listen, all this stuff
you borrowed...
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408. You can hang
on to it for a while.
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409. Thanks, 'cause
there's really nothing left
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410. in my apartment now anyway.
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411. Except for your barbecue apron.
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412. I'm sorry I gave you a hard
time about the pen and pencil set.
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413. I know that wasn't too original,
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414. but I don't have
any kids of my own,
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415. so I wanted Robbie to
have the pen and pencil set
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416. my dad gave me
on my howling day.
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417. Roy, your dad gave you this?
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418. Yeah.
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419. It's the one his dad gave
to him on his howling day.
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420. Aw, jeez. Aw!
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421. You're my best friend.
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422. Buddy, come on over for dinner.
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423. - OK.
- Come on.
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424. Yeah.
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425. - Oh, uh, Robbie?
- Yeah, Dad?
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426. You did a good thing here.
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427. Oh, thanks, Dad.
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428. You know, sometimes
it's not important
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429. to understand why
you do something.
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430. I howl because I believe in it.
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431. I don't know
why I believe in it,
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432. I just do.
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433. I understand, Dad, yeah.
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434. OK, I'll see you at home.
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435. OK. Bye.
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436. Hey, Earl, what about my stuff?
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437. The kid'll get it. That's
why you have kids.
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438. Hmm. Maybe I should get one.
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439. Ahh.
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440. "Only by howling do
we defeat the dark spirit
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441. which would turn
dinosaur against dinosaur
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442. and bring an end to
our days on Earth."
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443. A-ooooh!
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444. A-ooh...
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