Dinosaurs 1x1

Directed by William Dear

Brian Henson as Arthur Rizzic (voice) • Michelan Sisti as Additional Dinosaur Performer / Cavepeople • Sam McMurray as Roy Hess (voice) • Sherman Hemsley as B.P. Richfield (voice)

In this first episode of the series, Earl Sinclair talks to his born son about how his life was before he was born. he talks to him about the sress between his family and how his wife Fran Sinclair had been dealing with alot of troubles and situations over the past. Earl also talks about how he wanted his bost B.P. Richfield to give him a first raise.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Honey, I'm home.

2. A meteor three times the size of Earth

3. is heading towards us in a collision course

4. that will result in the extinction

5. of all life on this planet.

6. This just in... "No, it's not."

7. Oh, good.

8. Ah, wrestling.

9. An awesome display of power.

10. Don't you touch that remote control.

11. Don't you pick that up.

12. You turn off that television,

13. you're gonna be one sorry little dinosaur.

14. I'm sorry!

15. Give me that back.

16. Story.

17. No story.

18. Story!

19. No story! Give me that back!

20. Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families.

21. They lived in the woods and ate their children.

22. It was a golden age.

23. Then what?

24. Then one day, not long ago,

25. daddy dinosaurs and mommy dinosaurs

26. started getting married

27. and living in houses

28. and raising children.

29. And lived happily ever after.

30. Well, that was the idea.

31. What happened?

32. Some dinosaurs wondered if they were doing the right thing.

33. I wanna be in the story.

34. You are,

35. but it starts before you were born.

36. Your mother was cooking dinner, as usual,

37. and dinner was trying to escape, as usual.

38. Why don't you show us what's coming up next.

39. Housewives, tired of chasing dinner

40. all over the house?

41. You'll want this beautiful 32-piece cookware set

42. featuring the new creature screen.

43. Hey, lady, you might want to see this.

44. Well, Arlene, we've got 700,000 left.

45. At the rate they're going...

46. Hmm.

47. Huh?

48. Fran, I'm home. I'm hungry.

49. Oh! I'm stuck in the door again.

50. Earl, they are selling the most wonderful thing here on TV.

51. Why is there not dinner on the table?

52. - Yikes! - Hey!

53. Whoa!

54. Was that dinner?

55. Did dinner just run out of here?

56. They've got new pots and pans with creature screens.

57. If you love me, you'll get them for me.

58. Do you love me?

59. I just got home.

60. There's nothing in here.

61. There's no dinner, no vegetables.

62. Dinner ate the vegetables.

63. And then just left like that, without coffee?

64. Well, he's never coming back.

65. Hi, Daddy. How was your day?

66. Not a dime, Charlene.

67. Daddy, can't I even say hello

68. without you thinking that I want something?

69. A sweater. I just want a sweater.

70. I just want dinner.

71. It don't look good for either of us.

72. You can have a frozen dinner, Earl.

73. We've got a frozen dinner right here.

74. Hey, frozen dinner. Oh, that's great!

75. I come home to a frozen dinner

76. on today of all days.

77. Obviously, you forget what today is.

78. It's paycheck day.

79. Paycheck day, the day I get my check,

80. and it says how much I make.

81. I'm sorry, Daddy.

82. I'll set the table.

83. And, uh, your apology would go... how?

84. Pots and pans

85. to cook your dinner with.

86. Dinner for you.

87. Gee, I don't know where my apology should begin.

88. Aw, come on, honey, you know I'd buy you the moon.

89. I just want the pots.

90. - No. Uh-uh. - Why not?

91. Because for once, there's something I want.

92. It's unbelievable that I should want to spend my money

93. on something for me,

94. something I no longer feel I can be without.

95. What's that?

96. A 90-inch television set.

97. Earl Snead Sinclair!

98. Oh, God. My whole name.

99. I am your wife.

100. And I'm the mighty megalosaurus!

101. The king of the dinosaurs!

102. The thunder lizard!

103. If the thunder lizard wants a 90-inch television set,

104. he's gonna get a 90-inch television set!

105. So, what do you have to say about that?

106. The tyrannosaurus rex is king of the dinosaurs.

107. That's debatable.

108. No, it's not.

109. I dated one in high school.

110. Ooh.

111. This whole going to school concept doesn't work.

112. Here's my report card. See you around the swamp.

113. Ow! I knew it.

114. Says here you don't apply yourself.

115. Says you've got potential.

116. That's a cheap motivational ploy.

117. What, you don't see through that? Ow!

118. I knew it.

119. Look, I'm having a hard time with numbers and dates.

120. Why?

121. If this is the year 60,000,003,

122. why is next year 60,000,002?

123. Why count backwards? What are we waiting for?

124. Uh...

125. Frannie?

126. Maybe you ask too many questions.

127. School's not for asking questions.

128. It's a place you go to be out of this house.

129. Maybe we should consider hiring Robbie a tutor.

130. Could we get Connie DeSalvo?

131. I could be motivated to study with her.

132. Come on, Earl. How much could a tutor cost?

133. Exactly the same price as a 90-inch television.

134. Because that's the way my life works.

135. And I'm not giving up my TV

136. just because he's not working up to his potential.

137. Dad, I'm begging you to understand, I have no potential.

138. Come on, Earl, you know the right thing to do.

139. The right thing to do.

140. Potential.

141. - Am I in the story yet? - I'm getting to you.

142. What happened next?

143. I went to work.

144. Why?

145. Because your mother makes me.

146. - Am I at work? - No.

147. - Am I at work? - No.

148. - Am I at work? - Yes. Yes.

149. No, I'm not.

150. Let's start the swamp.

151. We need three men!

152. Morning, Ed.

153. Morning, Sid.

154. Why is the right thing always the one

155. where I have to spend all my money

156. on nothing I get?

157. Why does my life have to be like this?

158. Well, now, isn't this the choice you made, pally boy?

159. Getting married, having a wife and kids

160. and not eating 'em?

161. This is new, experimental stuff.

162. For once I'd like money in my pocket

163. after my family spends every cent I've got.

164. Then you better march into that trailer

165. and ask Richfield for a raise.

166. Oh, well, I don't normally talk to Mr. Richfield.

167. And why not?

168. Well, he's... I'm just a regular tree pusher,

169. and he's executive supervisor.

170. Have you recently seen the size of his teeth?

171. That just may be, Earl,

172. but this is for your family now, for your future.

173. So, Roy, do you really think the boss would give me a raise?

174. Yeah. You gave this company the best years of your life.

175. Yeah! Well, maybe not the best years

176. but certainly the least miserable years

177. of a generally crummy time I'm having.

178. That's the spirit.

179. Maybe I should go in there right now.

180. Thatta boy, Mr. Stand Up to the Boss Sinclair.

181. I'm gonna give that guy what's what.

182. You're gonna tell him where to get off.

183. - Yeah! - Yeah!

184. Uh, wanna come in with me?

185. No. Big teeth.

186. Mm-hm-hmm. Hm.

187. Uh, excuse me. Mr. Richfield?

188. Ow!

189. Oh, God.

190. Why aren't you out there knocking down trees?

191. You're right. I should be.

192. I'm leaving. I'm getting out of here. Thank you.

193. I have a family, Mr. Richfield.

194. I can't afford to get my wife a present,

195. and I can't afford to buy my children

196. the things I'd like to.

197. Tree pushers get $4 an hour.

198. Well, I need a raise.

199. Sinclair, you dog.

200. Twenty years you work here.

201. I never would have figured you had it in you to take me on!

202. But take me on you do,

203. mano a mano, one-on-one.

204. That's guts ball, Sinclair.

205. I like a guy who plays guts ball. Like it!

206. Ah!

207. Oh, well, thank you, sir.

208. I guess I'm going to have to take your ultimatum seriously,

209. aren't I?

210. I would appreciate that, sir.

211. A guy comes in here, puts a gun to my head...

212. No, I meant no gun, sir.

213. Must be prepared to back up his threat!

214. So I'm gonna ask you,

215. you want a raise or what?

216. Uh... or not.

217. What puts you in a position to come in here with your demands?

218. Well, I got a wife and a family.

219. Well, where is this my fault?

220. I'm not blaming you.

221. Then why do I have to pay for your family?

222. I just need more money.

223. The way I see it, you don't need more money.

224. You need less family!

225. But I love my family.

226. Well, obviously you do,

227. since you're ready to quit your job for them.

228. - What? - You face me down,

229. demand more money, I ain't gonna give it to you.

230. So you got no alternative but to say...

231. - I'm sorry. - I quit!

232. I quit?

233. Oh, well, sorry to lose you, Sinclair.

234. All these years...

235. But, sir, I like this company.

236. I always dreamed I'd go somewhere with this company.

237. Don't dream, Sinclair.

238. No dreams for you.

239. You are what you are.

240. That's all you're ever gonna be,

241. except not with this company.

242. Best thing for you to do is realize that now.

243. Best thing in the world. You'll thank me.

244. - But, sir... - Thank me!

245. Uh, thank you ever so... Mr... Uh, goodbye.

246. What a day.

247. How was your day, dear?

248. Compared to what, Fran?

249. Compared to walking off a cliff, falling 10,000 feet,

250. but living just long enough

251. to see that first vulture swoop down and pick out my eyes?

252. It's a tie. Give me a beer.

253. - No, no! - Please!

254. Mine, mine, mine!

255. Aw!

256. Well, I had a rather interesting day.

257. Do you want to know about my day?

258. Frances, I'm done raising the kids.

259. They're 12 and 14. They're done.

260. I figure whatever they're gonna be, they're it.

261. You really should ask me about my day, Earl.

262. Look, Fran, I say this with all love and everything,

263. but I don't give a damn about your day.

264. Ask me about my day.

265. Frances, nothing that happened in your little day

266. has any impact on how I'm gonna live the rest of my life.

267. Oh, yeah?

268. That better be breakfast.

269. So, Mom, stop me if I'm being, like, insensitive or anything,

270. but you and Dad can still have children?

271. Looks like you're just going to have to stop thinking

272. of your father and me as a couple of old dinosaurs, huh?

273. Did you and Daddy really want another baby?

274. Charlene, we feel the same way about this egg

275. as we felt about Robbie and you.

276. How the hell could this have happen?

277. Gee, Daddy, Just when you've almost got us out of the house,

278. you go ahead and have another baby.

279. Yeah, and this baby won't leave for college till it's 18,

280. which pretty much covers your allotted life span.

281. So you're either the world's most dedicated father...

282. Or not.

283. In my 60s, Fran.

284. I'm gonna be in my 60s

285. before I get my life back.

286. Unless there's nothing in that egg.

287. What?

288. Have you held it up to the light?

289. Oh, don't be silly.

290. How do you know it's not a dud? It happens all the time!

291. We had three duds before Charlene.

292. We had two duds and Robbie.

293. I'm saying!

294. Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm having an anxiety attack here, Fran.

295. Maybe I don't need to because maybe there's nothing in there.

296. Oh! Oh! Oh!

297. Not that I'm saying anything bad

298. about the virtues of family life,

299. but, oh, jeez, you're killing me, Fran.

300. What I'm trying to say

301. is that life holds such enormous possibilities,

302. as long as there's nothing in there.

303. Sweetheart, what do you think

304. about doing the walls of the baby's room

305. in a cute little dancing caveman motif?

306. You know cavemen are all the rage

307. with the little ones, right, sweetheart?

308. Earl? Earl?

309. You took a walk?

310. I took a long walk.

311. Because of me?

312. - Because of a lot of things. - But mostly me.

313. Remember I told you that dinosaurs lived in the forest

314. - a long time ago? - Me.

315. And how we came out of the forest

316. to get married and have families?

317. Am I in the story yet?

318. I went back to the forest

319. to see if we were right.

320. I'm gonna bite you now.

321. OK, this is it,

322. the wilderness of my ancestors,

323. where my spirit belongs and my soul longs to be.

324. Jeez, it's cold!

325. So what?

326. Small price to pay

327. for the freedom to do whatever I want.

328. Whoa, sack-time.

329. Hey, what am I looking for, a bed?

330. The ground is my bed.

331. The rocks are my pillows,

332. and my blanket is the freezing air.

333. This is nuts!

334. How could wild dinosaurs get any sleep out here?

335. Wh-what? Ooh!

336. OK, halt! Who goes there?

337. Just come out with your hands up

338. and offer me your meaty portions

339. because you have stumbled into the lair

340. of the mighty megalosaurus, the...

341. - Oh. - You!

342. Do we know each other?

343. Yeah, know each other.

344. In fact, my main course last night

345. was supposed to be "you stew."

346. But right now, I'm gonna settle for "come-as-you-are tartare."

347. Well, if you plan on eating me,

348. please, go ahead, you'd be doing me a favor, actually.

349. What do you mean?

350. I used to live here, right on this spot.

351. There used to be a tree, and I lived in it with my family.

352. Now, some idiot knocked over these trees.

353. I know my insurance doesn't cover that.

354. I don't know where my family went.

355. Look, just eat me and get it over with, will you?

356. That's awfully sporting of you there, uh...

357. Arthur. Arthur Rizzic.

358. Earl. Earl Sinclair.

359. - How you doing? - Glad to know ya.

360. I'll let you in on something, Rizzic.

361. You're better off being rid of your family.

362. Oh, sure. Family's one of civilization's worst ideas.

363. You support them,

364. you put food on the table...

365. No offense there, Rizzic.

366. None taken.

367. And what do they do for you?

368. They get you fired

369. from the only thing you were ever good at.

370. You knocked all these trees down?

371. Yeah. And I done you a favor there, Rizzic.

372. Now without your family,

373. you're wild and untamed and free, huh?

374. Earl, maybe I've just got a different perspective

375. from my place in the food chain.

376. What do you mean?

377. If I was a big dinosaur like you

378. and everybody respected and listened to me...

379. Everybody listens to you, right?

380. Oh, yeah, sure.

381. Then maybe I wouldn't need a family.

382. But to tell you the truth, my family's all that listens to me.

383. My house is the only place where I'm the boss.

384. So without your family...

385. I'm completely nothing,

386. just alone out here in the cold.

387. Of course, your kind rules the world,

388. so you wouldn't understand.

389. Uh, no, no, of course not.

390. I rule the world. I'm the mighty...

391. Uh... whatever.

392. So why don't you just devour me,

393. and let's call it a night.

394. Uh, yeah, yeah. OK.

395. OK.

396. Get out of here.

397. Huh?

398. Get out of here!

399. - I won't forget this. - Yeah!

400. I'm too tired to eat!

401. There's no ketchup.

402. There's no beverage.

403. Oh, this stinks!

404. Oh, let me just sit down and die

405. because I'm just a total disgrace

406. to my ancestors.

407. What's that?

408. That smells like...

409. It is!

410. That's Fran's mastodon surprise!

411. Out here in the wilderness!

412. I'm saved! Oh!

413. Huh?

414. Hey! Hey!

415. Whoa!

416. Ohh!

417. I could've made it out here.

418. Of course, dear.

419. So, what's for dessert?

420. Chocolate hippo cake at home.

421. Ooh!

422. Uh, how you doing there, Mr. Richfield, sir?

423. Pursuant to the matter of severing me from my job,

424. I thought there might be the matter of severance pay.

425. Get back to work, Sinclair.

426. You've had a change of heart, my captain?

427. No. I've had a report from my new assistant.

428. How you doing?

429. No family. Here all day and night.

430. Nowhere else to go.

431. Perfect executive material.

432. Did you put Sinclair's name back on the active roster?

433. Yes, sir, and I put him down for a raise in salary.

434. How much?

435. Uh, imperceptible.

436. Done.

437. You were gonna be my dinner. Now you're my boss' assistant.

438. And I've got to treat you with respect and deference.

439. Wow, I can't eat you at all.

440. Oh, boy, kind of funny, huh?

441. Get back to work, Sinclair.

442. Yes, sir, Mr. Rizzic. Yes, sir.

443. What a world.

444. Oh, the baby want to come out soon? Oh, the baby...

445. Hey, Fran, take a look at this.

446. Earl, a paycheck!

447. Note the imperceptible raise.

448. Well, your career is taking off,

449. you've got a wonderful family to come home to.

450. Are you a happy dinosaur, Earl?

451. I think I am, Fran,

452. because now I realize what's special

453. about being head of the household.

454. What's that, dear?

455. Robbie! Charlene! Get your tails in here!

456. This is your father talking,

457. the king of the whole house.

458. You see, Fran,

459. I learned something during my time in the woods.

460. No matter how low you are in this world,

461. as long as you have a family to come home to,

462. well, they're lower.

463. It isn't often I get to see the sentimental side of you.

464. All right, look, I'm gonna say this one time.

465. It's only natural in a dinosaur's life

466. to go off alone one day

467. and wonder what things would have been like

468. if he had traveled a different road.

469. But you know what?

470. I take a look at all of us,

471. and I hope nothing ever happens

472. to change the way we are.

473. Oh, God.

474. Oh, God!

475. - Ta-da! - Aah!

476. Aah!

477. Ohh! Ooh!

478. Whoa! I'm on the floor.

479. Uh-oh!

480. Lots of feet. Can't get up!

481. Oh, it's adorable.

482. Whoa! I'm naked.

483. Who's the mama? Where's the mama?

484. Come here, you sweet thing.

485. Oh, hi! How you doing? How you doing? How you doing?

486. Earl, this is your baby.

487. Baby, this is your daddy.

488. Hi, I'm the baby, brand-new,

489. just out, gotta love me.

490. Come on, gotta love me.

491. Daddy.

492. That was a good story,

493. especially me.

494. Yeah, that's the way you came into this world,

495. and someday, it will all belong to you

496. because you and your brother and your sister

497. were all born dinosaurs,

498. and dinosaurs rule the world.

499. Hmm.

500. Aha!

501. Ah!

502. Ah, ha!

503. - Ah! Ha-ha! - Ah!

504. And we're gonna rule the world forever.

505. Ahh.