1. Oh, yeah.
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2. How did I become
so deliciously evil?
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3. Oh, yeah, I remember.
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4. The seeds
of my glorious villainy
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5. were sown
a long, long time ago.
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6. Aah.
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7. It all seems but a faint
and distant revery now.
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8. But as I recall,
the basis of my evil
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9. can be traced back
to my birth.
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10. Back to the tranquil village
in which we lived.
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11. Ah, the tranquil village
of flowertopia,
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12. an idealized world
of peace and Harmony,
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13. a place where man and beast
live side by side,
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14. a place where unity
and goodness prevail,
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15. a place where even the wind
smelt of happiness.
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16. Bleah! It makes me sick
just to think about it!
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17. But there amongst
the fragrant flowers
and radiant landscape,
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18. I became
the firstborn love child
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19. of wind bear and ocean bird.
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20. A.k.a. Mother and father.
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21. That's it,
sweetheart.
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22. Find your center,
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23. breathe,
and release.
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24. And with that
last maternal exhalation,
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25. I, mandark,
monarch of darkness,
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26. came to be.
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27. Oh, wind bear,
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28. isn't he just
the most beautiful
creature ever?
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29. Why, he's as groovy
as moon dust,
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30. and as exquisite
as golden starlight.
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31. He's as pure and lovely
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32. as our terrestrial
sphere itself.
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33. With the head to match.
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34. Therefore I, wind bear,
shall bestow unto you
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35. a name beyond
the conforms of society.
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36. And I, ocean bird,
request a name
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37. without preconceived
gender connotations.
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38. A name that's
whispered softly
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39. through
the canyon winds.
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40. You shall
be named...
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41. Susan.
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42. Waah! Waah!
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43. And so by some
cruel and twisted cosmic joke,
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44. I, mandark,
crown prince of dark forces,
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45. had been born into a world
of warm-hearted tenderness.
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46. I was the direct
genetic descendant
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47. of gentle, loving,
happy pacifists.
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48. But no amount
of compassion and humanity
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49. could dampen
my true nature within!
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50. As the size
of my colossal cranium
increased,
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51. so did my ever-evolving
evil intellect.
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52. And even in my most
infantile state of mind,
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53. I knew there was something else
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54. beyond the peaceful life
my parents provided me.
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55. Then suddenly,
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56. it seemed to have
appeared out of nowhere.
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57. Its icy-cool mechanical casing,
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58. its complex composite
of twisted circuitry,
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59. its tangled web
of expertly engineered
cybernetics.
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60. This object,
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61. with its calculated,
methodically designed
exactness,
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62. this object was a revelation.
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63. It was a part of me.
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64. It was... It was...
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65. Science!
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66. I knew that
if I could only master
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67. this thing called science,
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68. and combine it
with my natural wickedness,
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69. I could control the world!
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70. But my plans
for total global domination
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71. would have to wait,
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72. for it would seem my parents
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73. had a different idea
for my development.
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74. Waah! Waah!
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75. Yes, the days of my infancy
were filled
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76. with one tedious activity
after another.
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77. And all of them
so very, very UN-sciency.
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78. Happy annual name day
celebration!
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79. As the guest
of honor,
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80. Susan gets to wear
the festival wreath.
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81. Oh, how precious!
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82. And I bet I know
who wants some
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83. tofu squares
and rice cakes.
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84. No!
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85. No more tofu!
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86. No more flowers!
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87. I want meat!
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88. And I want science!
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89. Oh, wind bear,
whatever are we to do
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90. about our little Susan's
unnatural request
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91. for beef and technology?
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92. Rest easy,
ocean bird.
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93. This is probably
just a stage
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94. he's going through.
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95. Well, perhaps
we have neglected
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96. some of the boy's needs.
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97. Hmmm.
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98. Let's drop out!
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99. Groovy!
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100. So we packed up
the incense and herbal teas
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101. and set out to see the world,
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102. in the hope of my parents
that the experience
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103. would squelch my dark desires.
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104. Yes, we traveled the world over,
and then some,
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105. but it made no difference to me.
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106. I still longed to commit
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107. acts of science
in the name of evil.
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108. But trapped in the prison
of mere boyhood,
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109. and forced to endure
every whim of my parents,
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110. I was afraid I was never
going to get the chance.
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111. Eventually our travels
came to an end,
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112. and my parents decided
it was time
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113. to take root once again.
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114. So we settled down
in a nice little community
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115. in a nice little home
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116. in complete nowheresville.
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117. Little did I know
I was about to encounter
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118. the moment that would
alter my life forever.
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119. Yes, that should do it.
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120. And once again,
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121. thanks to my magnificent
and astounding genius,
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122. science can
hold its head up proudly.
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123. Let's turn it on!
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124. Ah! Oh, hey,
what happened?
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125. Hey, what gives?
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126. Hey!
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127. Hey!
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128. Science. Wow.
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129. Wow. Mmm.
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130. Hey, hey, hey.
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131. What is that
that you are
doing there?
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132. Stop that,
stop that.
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133. This here is
very complicated
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134. high-tech scientific
type of stuff
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135. of which you cannot
possibly comprehend.
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136. I love science.
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137. It's just that
my parents, well,
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138. and the moving around,
and the love, and—
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139. yes, yes,
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140. I am sure
your life story
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141. is endlessly
entertaining.
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142. But if you'll
excuse me,
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143. I, Dexter,
boy genius,
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144. have much work
to be doing.
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145. So to you,
I bid adieu.
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146. Good-bye,
little girl.
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147. Oh, I'm not
a little girl.
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148. I'm a little boy,
just like you.
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149. Hmm. What is the name
by which you are called?
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150. Uh, my name is...
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151. Susan.
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152. Mandark, voice-
Oh, that laugh,
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153. that annoying chuckle,
that irritating chortle.
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154. At that moment,
something within me snapped.
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155. And it was as if all the evil
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156. that had been suppressed
inside of me for so many years
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157. had suddenly been unleashed
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158. to every fiber
of my organic structure,
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159. and I could feel the power.
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160. I knew what must be done.
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161. I was going to build
the biggest, most astounding,
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162. most incredibly evil
scientific laboratory ever!
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163. Putting anything
that insignificant Dexter
had ever made to shame!
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164. Voice-over:
But to achieve my goal,
I could no longer be
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165. a long-haired girly-named
boy anymore.
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166. No!
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167. Voice-over: I would assume
a new, evil identity.
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168. And now I only needed
a new name,
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169. a name to match the darkness
that flowed through me,
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170. a name that told of the man
I knew I could be.
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171. I was now—
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172. mandark!
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173. And my sole purpose,
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174. to be the greatest,
most evillest boy genius
scientist
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175. the world has ever known.
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176. And to destroy
Dexter's laboratory!
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177. And today is my day!
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178. The future is now!
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179. Wind bear: Ahem.
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180. Now Susan,
you know
how we feel
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181. about using
implements
of destruction.
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182. My name
is mandark.
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183. No, it's Susan.
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184. Now put that away
and come join
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185. our bonding chant
ritual, Susan.
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186. Yes, mother.
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187. I'll get you one day, Dexter.
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188. One day.
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189. Ok, let's see how p-290
and p-291 are doing.
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190. Looking good, guys.
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191. Now for the I-2-4-7.
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192. Hmm. Your productivity
has increased 72%!
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193. You go, girl.
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194. Ok, next robot for review.
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195. Ah, the q-t-411.
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196. Be be be bop.
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197. Be be be be be
zu zu.
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198. Wow, q-t. Much better
than yesterday.
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199. Thank you,
Dexter, sir.
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200. Ooh. What do we have here?
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201. Well, see you later,
q-t. Bye-bye.
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202. Um, Dexter, sir,
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203. I'm really sorry.
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204. Let's see. Hmm,
who have we got left?
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205. The fast response executing
droid and the m.A.R.-10.
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206. Just two more robots to check,
then sleepy d checks into bed.
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207. Yeah! Yeah!
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208. Oh, boy!
Shake it, me.
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209. Shake it! Yeah!
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210. Woo! Yeah!
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211. Yeah! Woo!
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212. Yeah!
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213. Excuse me.
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214. Hello?
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215. Excuse me!
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216. Whoa! Hey, what the...?
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217. Who turned off the...?
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218. Oh, hi, cutie.
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219. Why aren't
you two working?
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220. To set the record
straight,
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221. I was. I was working.
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222. No, you were dancing.
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223. See, I—I can tell that
you're the type of guy
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224. that needs some
reassurance
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225. that work
is getting done.
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226. Am I right here?
Yeah, I am.
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227. Let me just start by saying
that Fred and I
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228. have been working
the whole time.
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229. But what happened, you see,
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230. was our tools broke
from being overworked.
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231. So we got this guy
to get us some new tools.
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232. So, in the meantime,
Fred and I
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233. have been on this really
UN-unneeded work break.
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234. Those must be
your tools.
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235. No, tiny.
Don't you remember
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236. I said tools, not—
not drinks. Tools.
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237. Actually, m.A.R.-10,
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238. you did ask tiny
to bring you a drink,
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239. then you asked me
if I wanted one
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240. and I said yes,
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241. because you know
how parched I get
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242. after I dance.
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243. Well, you two
are stupid.
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244. No, all 3 of you
are stupid.
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245. And if your cute little
attitudes and productivity
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246. do not change
by the time I get back,
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247. you will be 3
little cubes of steel.
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248. See you guys later.
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249. I'm outta here.
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250. M.a.r.-10?
M.a.r.-10, wait up!
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251. What do you mean
you're out of here?
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252. You think I'm gonna
stick around here
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253. and get turned into
a cube of steel?
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254. Ha ha ha. Right.
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255. You could
try working.
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256. Yeah, good idea,
Fred.
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257. I'll see you
tomorrow morning.
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258. What the heck
is that crazy thing?
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259. Oh, it's my
escape tunnel, Fred.
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260. My very own darned
escape tunnel.
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261. Where's it go?
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262. It goes to
freedom, Fred.
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263. It goes to america.
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264. In america, the streets
are paved with parties,
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265. and there never is a party
where you can't find m.A.R.-T.
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266. Oh, I have to remember that.
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267. See you later,
Dexter's lavatory.
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268. Pull the chain, pal.
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269. Oh, guys.
It's beautiful.
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270. Oh, you gotta
check this out.
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271. What?
What is it?
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272. Is it freedom?
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273. What does it
look like?
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274. Well, hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
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275. Let me see. Let me see.
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276. Oh, whoa!
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277. Freedom looks like a woman.
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278. Move over,
move over. Let me!
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279. Holy moly!
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280. Look at those curves.
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281. Look at those lines.
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282. She has got to be
Italian.
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283. Oh, dear me,
she's hot.
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284. Hubba, hubba, hubba.
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285. Oh, I love you.
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286. What the...?
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287. Yeah!
She wants to party!
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288. Quiet!
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289. Ah, that's my car!
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290. Get away from my car!
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291. We're history.
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292. You come back here.
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293. I'm-a calling
the cops.
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294. I'm-a gonna get you so bad.
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295. Move it, dum-dum.
Move it!
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296. Now I'm-a gonna call
the cop of your butts. Ha ha.
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297. Hello, cops?
You get-a these guys.
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298. Car 72?
Calling car 72.
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299. Yeah, here chief.
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300. Whoa!
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301. Classic.
Whoa!
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302. Well, this looks
like a fun crowd.
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303. Whoa, yeah.
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304. Oh ho ho.
Yeah.
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305. Ok. Righty,
righty, righty.
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306. Hey, sweetie.
You wanna dance?
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307. You think I'm a woman?
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308. I think you got
yourself some trouble.
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309. Let's get 'em, boys.
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310. Oh, ha ha ha.
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311. You know, it looks like
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312. there has been some
miscommunication here.
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313. Just like you guys,
you see, I'm a biker.
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314. I'm also a comedian,
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315. and that's why
it's funny, you see,
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316. that I called you a girl,
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317. because it is so obvious
that you're not.
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318. That was not
a funny joke, m.A.R.-10.
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319. Thank you, Fred.
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320. Listen, I am with you guys,
down with the man, I say.
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321. Let's just ride our bikes
into the night.
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322. What do you say,
fellas? Huh?
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323. Freedom blowing through hair,
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324. the excitement of maybe
a coyote,
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325. or hey, a rabbit—
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326. stealing our food
as we sing by the campfire.
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327. Whoa. You are a big boy,
aren't you?
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328. Could I borrow this
for just a second?
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329. Thank you.
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330. Yes, gentlemen, it's true.
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331. I do play the guitar.
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332. And as exciting as that
may sound to you,
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333. there is one thing
more exciting.
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334. And that is—
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335. Come on, harmonize.
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336. all righty, now that
I've wet your whistle,
so to speak,
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337. with that musical interlude
I just gave you,
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338. and I know you're
kind of excited about that,
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339. so, what I really think
we should do
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340. is find the energy trapped
down deep inside those
leather chaps of yours
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341. and get this party going.
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342. So, why don't we all
just stand up—
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343. that's it, stand up.
Stand up.
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344. Oh, now you in the back,
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345. I see you all sad
and scared and timid.
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346. "Oh, what will
my friends think?"
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347. Stand up!
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348. It's gonna be ok.
Everyone's gonna like you.
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349. Everyone's gonna like me.
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350. We're all going to have
a really good time,
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351. but what I'd like you to do
is follow what I say,
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352. and the band behind me,
follow what I'm gonna do,
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353. and we're gonna have
a really good time. So...
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354. where the heck
are my robots?
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355. Ooh,
there you are!
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356. Where have you been?
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357. I've been worried sick.
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358. Get inside of
this robot right now!
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359. But...
But...
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360. No buts!
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361. Say good-bye to
your little friends
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362. and get in here
this instant!
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363. Well, we gotta
go now.
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364. Yeah, bye, guys.
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365. You 3 are in so much trouble
when we get home...
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366. Well, you know,
we wouldn't have left
Copy !req
367. if you weren't
such a slave driver.
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368. Oh, you could be right.
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369. I know, you guys only
have to work 12 hours a day,
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370. but twice as hard.
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371. Yeah!
Yeah!
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372. I can live with that.
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373. Ooh,
can I drive?
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374. Get your hands
off the controls.
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375. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
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376. captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—
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