1. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of educationCopy !req
2. Oh, gosh.
Look at us.Copy !req
3. We sure stuffed
our faces
at that luau.Copy !req
4. Hey,
my hula dancing lessons!Copy !req
5. You caught on
so fast, dear.Copy !req
6. Hey, remember
that scenic helicopter ride.Copy !req
7. That was cool.Copy !req
8. Oh, your poor dad.Copy !req
9. Hey, what's
that picture
doing in here?Copy !req
10. Uh, hey, look,
we're in love.Copy !req
11. Ah, what fond memories.Copy !req
12. If only I could remember
where we went.Copy !req
13. Dad, we went
to Hawaii, remember?Copy !req
14. And look, Dexter,Copy !req
15. here's where you
fell into that hole.Copy !req
16. Boy, it took hours
to get you out of there.Copy !req
17. That is because
stupid Dee Dee
pushed me in.Copy !req
18. Uh-uh. You fell in.Copy !req
19. You were still wearing
your leg brace.Copy !req
20. Remember, clumsy child?Copy !req
21. Was not.Copy !req
22. Was to.
Was not.Copy !req
23. Was to.
Was not.Copy !req
24. Was to.
Was not.Copy !req
25. Kids, it's been
so long, who could
possibly remember?Copy !req
26. Isn't it funny how much
we forget as we get older?Copy !req
27. Remember last year
when I lost my keysCopy !req
28. and had to climb through
the doggy door for 3 weeks?Copy !req
29. And I locked
the keys in the carCopy !req
30. for the third time
this month.Copy !req
31. Yeah? Well, yesterday,Copy !req
32. I left for work
without my pants.Copy !req
33. And today,Copy !req
34. I wrote "1986"
on all of my checks.Copy !req
35. Well, a lot of stuff
happened in 1986.Copy !req
36. What were we talking about?Copy !req
37. All right, kids,
upstairs.Copy !req
38. Time to finish
homework.Copy !req
39. Would you like
some coffee, dear?Copy !req
40. Sure, honey.Copy !req
41. Chocolate chip
or vanilla?Copy !req
42. What a thorough
disappointment.Copy !req
43. I had no idea
my parents were so stupid.Copy !req
44. They're not
stupid.Copy !req
45. They just can't
remember that far back.Copy !req
46. That is no excuse.Copy !req
47. Why, I have
no trouble at allCopy !req
48. remembering way back to...Copy !req
49. Back to... Back to...Copy !req
50. No!Copy !req
51. My infancy is cloudy.Copy !req
52. I cannot remember
my first baby steps,
my first solid food.Copy !req
53. Your first
dirty diaper?Copy !req
54. It is all a blur.Copy !req
55. Is it possible?Copy !req
56. Could new information
going into my brain
be pushing out the old?Copy !req
57. Hey, Dexter.Copy !req
58. What? I am busy.Copy !req
59. Bet you haven't seen
my dance of
the fanciful unicorn.Copy !req
60. It goes like this.Copy !req
61. stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
62. I already have
a thousand memories
of that stupid dance.Copy !req
63. Ooh, what does
this button do?Copy !req
64. Stop, stop, stop!
You are erasing
vital information.Copy !req
65. You must leave
at once.Copy !req
66. You are wreaking
havoc on my brain.Copy !req
67. Hey, want to hear
a funny joke?Copy !req
68. Because
it was stapled
to the chicken.Copy !req
69. Hey, how did you know?Copy !req
70. Trust me, I do.Copy !req
71. Computer,
time to get to work!Copy !req
72. Success!Copy !req
73. With this new device,Copy !req
74. my memories
will be preserved.Copy !req
75. I'll be able to storeCopy !req
76. all my precious
thoughts and experiences.Copy !req
77. I will never have to worry
about a lost memory again.Copy !req
78. Cheers.Copy !req
79. Computer, begin
memory backup.Copy !req
80. Memory backup recording.Copy !req
81. What?Copy !req
82. Mandark!Copy !req
83. Surprise, Dexter.Copy !req
84. What are you doing here?Copy !req
85. I have come to take
your memories away.Copy !req
86. You'll have to fight me
for them.Copy !req
87. My pleasure.Copy !req
88. Hyah! Hyah!Copy !req
89. I'll get you,
Dexter.Copy !req
90. You and which army?Copy !req
91. Dexter!Copy !req
92. Mandark!Copy !req
93. Vic...Copy !req
94. tory.Copy !req
95. Now to find
my glasses...Copy !req
96. and get back to business.Copy !req
97. Hey, I
defeated you.
I defeated you.Copy !req
98. No, you
didn't.
No, you didn't.Copy !req
99. Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
100. Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
101. We're just going
to have to fight again
fair and square.Copy !req
102. My pleasure.
Hey, look,
falling stars.Copy !req
103. Where?
Here.Copy !req
104. I'd say that's
pretty fair and square.Copy !req
105. And now to retrieve
what I came here for.Copy !req
106. Once I download Dexter's
scientific memories,Copy !req
107. I'll know everything
Dexter knows.Copy !req
108. I'll be smarter than Dexter,
more creative than Dexter.Copy !req
109. And I'll be able
to destroy Dexter's lab
once and for all.Copy !req
110. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
111. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
112. Downloading.Copy !req
113. Look, honey,
Dexter has done it.Copy !req
114. Dexter, you are
unbelievable.Copy !req
115. Our son—he made this
all by himself.Copy !req
116. And he's so young.Copy !req
117. Pure genius, boy.Copy !req
118. Ha ha! The moment
I've been waiting for.Copy !req
119. I am so proud of you,
Dexter.Copy !req
120. You've made
quite a creation.Copy !req
121. Come to mommy, Dex.Copy !req
122. Huh? Where are they
taking you? I want
to see the creation.Copy !req
123. Mom and dad:
Hooray for Dexter!Copy !req
124. He made potty
all by himself.Copy !req
125. Dexter! Dexter!Copy !req
126. What is this
prepubescent garbage?
Where's the science?Copy !req
127. Look at our son—
the scientist.Copy !req
128. Yeah, that's
more like it.Copy !req
129. Dear, do you think
he's too young to go
trick-or-treating?Copy !req
130. Nonsense.Copy !req
131. Son, do you like
trick-or-treating
with Dee Dee?Copy !req
132. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I like candy.Copy !req
133. Dexter, do you like
your scientist costume?Copy !req
134. What is a scientist?Copy !req
135. What is this?
What's going on here?Copy !req
136. Dexter, I want you
to meet somebody.Copy !req
137. It's your
great-great-aunt
dextermina.Copy !req
138. Hiya, Sonny.Copy !req
139. Oh, my.Copy !req
140. Oh, don't cry, Dexter.
It'll be all right.Copy !req
141. Dexter, stop crying now.Copy !req
142. Hey, little bro,
give your sister a big kiss.Copy !req
143. Dee Dee.Copy !req
144. Time out?
I hate time out.Copy !req
145. Look what I washed
for you, Dexter.Copy !req
146. Blankie!Copy !req
147. This is nonsense—
senseless baby trash.Copy !req
148. Does dexie-poo like
his bathie-wathie time?Copy !req
149. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.Copy !req
150. Dex, I just thought up
this new dance—Copy !req
151. the fanciful unicorn.Copy !req
152. I am a baby.
I am a baby.
I am a baby.Copy !req
153. No! Where areCopy !req
154. the inventions,
experiments,
lab secrets?Copy !req
155. Get your
own doll.
No.Copy !req
156. Give it.
No.Copy !req
157. Dexie-wexie! Who loves
dexie-wexie?Copy !req
158. That's right.
Mommy-wommy.Copy !req
159. The fanciful unicorn—
I just thought it up.Copy !req
160. Uh, honey,
Dexter is sick again.Copy !req
161. Teddy,
I love you the bestest,Copy !req
162. but it is a secret. Shh!Copy !req
163. Look, Dex,
a brand-new dance.Copy !req
164. I call it
the fanciful unicorn.Copy !req
165. Oh, my head.
I can't take it.Copy !req
166. It's just a little
boo-boo, Dex.Copy !req
167. Mom, Dexter is wearing
my tights again.Copy !req
168. the fanciful unicorn dance.
Have I ever shown it to you?Copy !req
169. Dex, we all have
to move up to big boy underwearCopy !req
170. sooner or later.Copy !req
171. Aah! I can't take this
anymore.Copy !req
172. All this garbage has been burned
into my brain forever.Copy !req
173. My head is ruined.
It's full of nonsense, trash.Copy !req
174. I hate this place.
I hate Dexter.Copy !req
175. I never want to live
another one of his memories
as long as I live!Copy !req
176. What is he
in such a rush for?Copy !req
177. Didn't want to fightCopy !req
178. Dexter—boy genius
again, did he?Copy !req
179. What a baby.Copy !req
180. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
181. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
182. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
183. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
184. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
185. Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.Copy !req
186. Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.Copy !req
187. Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.Copy !req
188. Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.Copy !req
189. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
190. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
191. Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.Copy !req
192. Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.Copy !req
193. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.Copy !req
194. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.Copy !req
195. Whoosh whoosh whoosh.
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
whoosh whoosh.Copy !req
196. Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.Copy !req
197. Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.Copy !req
198. Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!Copy !req
199. Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!Copy !req
200. Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!Copy !req
201. Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!Copy !req
202. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.Copy !req
203. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.Copy !req
204. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.Copy !req
205. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.Copy !req
206. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.Copy !req
207. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.Copy !req
208. Shift shift shift.
Shift shift shift shift shift.Copy !req
209. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
210. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
211. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
212. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
213. Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.Copy !req
214. Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.Copy !req
215. Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.Copy !req
216. Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.Copy !req
217. Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.Copy !req
218. Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.Copy !req
219. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
220. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
221. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
222. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
223. Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.Copy !req
224. Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.Copy !req
225. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
226. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
227. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
228. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
229. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
230. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
231. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.Copy !req
232. Oh, no! Ooh!Copy !req
233. My favorite show,
and it's on right now.Copy !req
234. I cannot miss it.
I cannot miss it.Copy !req
235. I cannot miss it.Copy !req
236. Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!Copy !req
237. All but Dexter:
You missed it.Copy !req
238. Ha ha!
Hee hee!Copy !req
239. I loved it!
That went fast.Copy !req
240. That was a great one.Copy !req
241. Oh.Copy !req
242. 8:30? galactic gatorsCopy !req
243. oh.Copy !req
244. Dragon's creek?Copy !req
245. Oh.Copy !req
246. I won't—I won't—I won't...Copy !req
247. Miss it.Copy !req
248. Hee hee!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!Copy !req
249. That was the best one.Copy !req
250. Man, I loved itCopy !req
251. when uncle chimp ateCopy !req
252. aunt chimp's
prize winning
banana.Copy !req
253. And how aboutCopy !req
254. when chimp mama locked
herself in the freezer?Copy !req
255. And they had to deep-frost
her like a Turkey!Copy !req
256. Hee hee!Copy !req
257. Hey, how about the time
chimp daddy caughtCopy !req
258. chimp mama dressed
like a man?Copy !req
259. Ha ha! Remember?Copy !req
260. Uh-huh?Copy !req
261. Uh, Dexter,Copy !req
262. that one aired weeks ago.Copy !req
263. Oh, yeah, I guess it did.Copy !req
264. But this week,
chimp papa dressed
like a woman.Copy !req
265. And then he snuck
into chimp mama's
women's club.Copy !req
266. And then
they elected himCopy !req
267. the lady
chimps' club
president.Copy !req
268. TV:The wild man.Copy !req
269. Oh, man,
is he angry.Copy !req
270. Hey, Dexter,
you're not leavingCopy !req
271. to do your homework
again, are you?Copy !req
272. The wild manCopy !req
273. I know, dad,
but I've got to study.Copy !req
274. Tomorrow is
the big debate.Copy !req
275. Well... ok, son.Copy !req
276. Whatever.Copy !req
277. Oh, why is TV
always so greatCopy !req
278. when I must do homework?Copy !req
279. Why must I always be
such a boy genius?Copy !req
280. Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
281. Wait. I know why.Copy !req
282. So that I can invent
a way to never miss TV again.Copy !req
283. I will need
a capsular receiver,Copy !req
284. a couple
of satellite dishes,Copy !req
285. a bipolar antenna,Copy !req
286. and a protective
Gill-toro helmet.Copy !req
287. I'll weld them all together,
and I will have...Copy !req
288. My global transmission
compression receiver.Copy !req
289. And now, TV signals
from satellitesCopy !req
290. all around the world
shall beamCopy !req
291. their prime time programmingCopy !req
292. directly into my brain.Copy !req
293. It's TV my way.Copy !req
294. Didn't you love itCopy !req
295. when xorna kicked
the sorcerer's heinie?Copy !req
296. Yeah. That show was great.Copy !req
297. What? Dorkster,
you've never even watchedCopy !req
298. The high kick queen.Copy !req
299. Oh, no?Copy !req
300. How about when xorna knelt
before the vokar knightCopy !req
301. and then delivered
her high kick to his face?Copy !req
302. And then the double thrust.Copy !req
303. So, what's the deal
with those TV dinners anyway?Copy !req
304. You never see
anyone eat them on TV.Copy !req
305. Good night,Copy !req
306. and have
a pleasant tomorrow.Copy !req
307. That Dexter sure knows
his TV.Copy !req
308. He even sounds like one.Copy !req
309. Man, all this TV
can be exhausting.Copy !req
310. But if it makes me popular,Copy !req
311. who cares?Copy !req
312. So, by $100,Copy !req
313. he had
already used up
his lifelines.Copy !req
314. Hee hee!
Ha ha!Copy !req
315. What a jerk.Copy !req
316. Yes, there were
2 darrinsCopy !req
317. both named dick.Copy !req
318. Ooh.
Ooh.Copy !req
319. That was the fat
Elmer Fudd.Copy !req
320. He only appeared
in 4 cartoons.Copy !req
321. Wow.
Wow.Copy !req
322. How do you
know that?Copy !req
323. "Marcia, marcia, marcia!"Copy !req
324. Cheeseburger,
cheeseburger, cheeseburger.Copy !req
325. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.Copy !req
326. "Townsville's in trouble!"Copy !req
327. Oh, brother.
Give it a break.Copy !req
328. Ooh.Copy !req
329. Dexter?Copy !req
330. Newman.Copy !req
331. The debate has
begun, and we're all
waiting for you.Copy !req
332. The debate?Copy !req
333. All right, Dexter,
the first topic
goes to you.Copy !req
334. Ahem. Please tells usCopy !req
335. about the positive effects
of televisionCopy !req
336. on today's young people.Copy !req
337. Heh heh.Copy !req
338. You have 30 seconds.Copy !req
339. Begin.Copy !req
340. The greatest wayCopy !req
341. for today's kids
to gain knowledge of the worldCopy !req
342. is through
the wonder of television.Copy !req
343. By watching
the inventing channel,Copy !req
344. they learn
about science and technology.Copy !req
345. By watching
the thinking channel,Copy !req
346. they learn
about geography and math.Copy !req
347. With television, kids areCopy !req
348. in charge of everything.Copy !req
349. I thinkCopy !req
350. I'd like to buy a vowel now.Copy !req
351. Uh, what I meant to say was,Copy !req
352. Alex, I'll take TV talk
for 500.Copy !req
353. Huh?
Huh?
Huh?Copy !req
354. Hmm, odd.Copy !req
355. This is a test.
This is only a test.Copy !req
356. Your time is up, Dexter.Copy !req
357. All right,
your turn, Herman.Copy !req
358. Fellow classmates,Copy !req
359. my opponent Dexter,Copy !req
360. here, is obviouslyCopy !req
361. a teleholic.Copy !req
362. Look at his
pathetic expression.Copy !req
363. TV has robbed him
of his personality,Copy !req
364. as well as his mind.Copy !req
365. He exists
exclusively
in a TV wasteland.Copy !req
366. There, he wastes
his days,Copy !req
367. staring mindlessly
at his boob tube.Copy !req
368. He has fooled
only himself
into thinkingCopy !req
369. that he's actually
learning something.Copy !req
370. But the only thing
he's learnedCopy !req
371. is how to talk
like a TV.Copy !req
372. Oh! I must get
these TV signals
out of my head.Copy !req
373. Aha!Copy !req
374. I will revert the signalsCopy !req
375. and program
the compression receiverCopy !req
376. to repel
all global transmission.Copy !req
377. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
378. And that is
why books are
our only salvation.Copy !req
379. Dexter,
you may now
respond.Copy !req
380. Obviously, my opponentCopy !req
381. is trying to scare you.Copy !req
382. Fellow students,
TV is not the enemy.Copy !req
383. It is your friend.Copy !req
384. Just last night,Copy !req
385. my friend, TV, and I
went out to eat.Copy !req
386. I ordered a TV dinner,Copy !req
387. and he got
the satellite dish.Copy !req
388. Dexter, stop
that immediately.Copy !req
389. Sit on it, fonz.Copy !req
390. That's enough.Copy !req
391. I declare Herman the winner.Copy !req
392. And, Dexter, go to
the principal's office.Copy !req
393. Ah—ah—ah, what?Copy !req
394. Oh.Copy !req
395. Well, Dexter,
your behavior
in that auditorium wasCopy !req
396. totally appalling,
outrageous, shocking,
and horrifying.Copy !req
397. Just what on earth
have you got to say
for yourself, young man?Copy !req
398. Well, sir, uh,
you see,Copy !req
399. all I can say is...Copy !req
400. This concludes
our broadcast day.
Good night.Copy !req
401. Enter at your own peril,Copy !req
402. past the vaulted door,Copy !req
403. where...Copy !req
404. Impossible things
may happenCopy !req
405. that the world's
never seen before.Copy !req
406. captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of educationCopy !req
407. captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—Copy !req