1. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
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2. Oh, gosh.
Look at us.
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3. We sure stuffed
our faces
at that luau.
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4. Hey,
my hula dancing lessons!
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5. You caught on
so fast, dear.
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6. Hey, remember
that scenic helicopter ride.
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7. That was cool.
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8. Oh, your poor dad.
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9. Hey, what's
that picture
doing in here?
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10. Uh, hey, look,
we're in love.
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11. Ah, what fond memories.
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12. If only I could remember
where we went.
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13. Dad, we went
to Hawaii, remember?
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14. And look, Dexter,
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15. here's where you
fell into that hole.
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16. Boy, it took hours
to get you out of there.
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17. That is because
stupid Dee Dee
pushed me in.
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18. Uh-uh. You fell in.
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19. You were still wearing
your leg brace.
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20. Remember, clumsy child?
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21. Was not.
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22. Was to.
Was not.
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23. Was to.
Was not.
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24. Was to.
Was not.
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25. Kids, it's been
so long, who could
possibly remember?
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26. Isn't it funny how much
we forget as we get older?
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27. Remember last year
when I lost my keys
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28. and had to climb through
the doggy door for 3 weeks?
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29. And I locked
the keys in the car
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30. for the third time
this month.
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31. Yeah? Well, yesterday,
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32. I left for work
without my pants.
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33. And today,
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34. I wrote "1986"
on all of my checks.
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35. Well, a lot of stuff
happened in 1986.
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36. What were we talking about?
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37. All right, kids,
upstairs.
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38. Time to finish
homework.
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39. Would you like
some coffee, dear?
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40. Sure, honey.
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41. Chocolate chip
or vanilla?
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42. What a thorough
disappointment.
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43. I had no idea
my parents were so stupid.
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44. They're not
stupid.
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45. They just can't
remember that far back.
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46. That is no excuse.
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47. Why, I have
no trouble at all
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48. remembering way back to...
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49. Back to... Back to...
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50. No!
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51. My infancy is cloudy.
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52. I cannot remember
my first baby steps,
my first solid food.
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53. Your first
dirty diaper?
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54. It is all a blur.
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55. Is it possible?
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56. Could new information
going into my brain
be pushing out the old?
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57. Hey, Dexter.
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58. What? I am busy.
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59. Bet you haven't seen
my dance of
the fanciful unicorn.
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60. It goes like this.
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61. stop it! Stop it!
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62. I already have
a thousand memories
of that stupid dance.
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63. Ooh, what does
this button do?
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64. Stop, stop, stop!
You are erasing
vital information.
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65. You must leave
at once.
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66. You are wreaking
havoc on my brain.
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67. Hey, want to hear
a funny joke?
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68. Because
it was stapled
to the chicken.
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69. Hey, how did you know?
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70. Trust me, I do.
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71. Computer,
time to get to work!
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72. Success!
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73. With this new device,
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74. my memories
will be preserved.
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75. I'll be able to store
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76. all my precious
thoughts and experiences.
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77. I will never have to worry
about a lost memory again.
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78. Cheers.
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79. Computer, begin
memory backup.
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80. Memory backup recording.
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81. What?
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82. Mandark!
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83. Surprise, Dexter.
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84. What are you doing here?
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85. I have come to take
your memories away.
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86. You'll have to fight me
for them.
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87. My pleasure.
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88. Hyah! Hyah!
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89. I'll get you,
Dexter.
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90. You and which army?
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91. Dexter!
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92. Mandark!
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93. Vic...
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94. tory.
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95. Now to find
my glasses...
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96. and get back to business.
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97. Hey, I
defeated you.
I defeated you.
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98. No, you
didn't.
No, you didn't.
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99. Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?
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100. Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?
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101. We're just going
to have to fight again
fair and square.
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102. My pleasure.
Hey, look,
falling stars.
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103. Where?
Here.
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104. I'd say that's
pretty fair and square.
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105. And now to retrieve
what I came here for.
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106. Once I download Dexter's
scientific memories,
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107. I'll know everything
Dexter knows.
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108. I'll be smarter than Dexter,
more creative than Dexter.
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109. And I'll be able
to destroy Dexter's lab
once and for all.
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110. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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111. Ha ha ha!
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112. Downloading.
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113. Look, honey,
Dexter has done it.
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114. Dexter, you are
unbelievable.
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115. Our son—he made this
all by himself.
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116. And he's so young.
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117. Pure genius, boy.
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118. Ha ha! The moment
I've been waiting for.
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119. I am so proud of you,
Dexter.
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120. You've made
quite a creation.
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121. Come to mommy, Dex.
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122. Huh? Where are they
taking you? I want
to see the creation.
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123. Mom and dad:
Hooray for Dexter!
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124. He made potty
all by himself.
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125. Dexter! Dexter!
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126. What is this
prepubescent garbage?
Where's the science?
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127. Look at our son—
the scientist.
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128. Yeah, that's
more like it.
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129. Dear, do you think
he's too young to go
trick-or-treating?
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130. Nonsense.
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131. Son, do you like
trick-or-treating
with Dee Dee?
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132. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I like candy.
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133. Dexter, do you like
your scientist costume?
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134. What is a scientist?
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135. What is this?
What's going on here?
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136. Dexter, I want you
to meet somebody.
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137. It's your
great-great-aunt
dextermina.
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138. Hiya, Sonny.
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139. Oh, my.
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140. Oh, don't cry, Dexter.
It'll be all right.
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141. Dexter, stop crying now.
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142. Hey, little bro,
give your sister a big kiss.
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143. Dee Dee.
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144. Time out?
I hate time out.
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145. Look what I washed
for you, Dexter.
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146. Blankie!
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147. This is nonsense—
senseless baby trash.
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148. Does dexie-poo like
his bathie-wathie time?
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149. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
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150. Dex, I just thought up
this new dance—
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151. the fanciful unicorn.
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152. I am a baby.
I am a baby.
I am a baby.
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153. No! Where are
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154. the inventions,
experiments,
lab secrets?
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155. Get your
own doll.
No.
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156. Give it.
No.
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157. Dexie-wexie! Who loves
dexie-wexie?
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158. That's right.
Mommy-wommy.
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159. The fanciful unicorn—
I just thought it up.
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160. Uh, honey,
Dexter is sick again.
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161. Teddy,
I love you the bestest,
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162. but it is a secret. Shh!
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163. Look, Dex,
a brand-new dance.
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164. I call it
the fanciful unicorn.
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165. Oh, my head.
I can't take it.
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166. It's just a little
boo-boo, Dex.
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167. Mom, Dexter is wearing
my tights again.
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168. the fanciful unicorn dance.
Have I ever shown it to you?
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169. Dex, we all have
to move up to big boy underwear
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170. sooner or later.
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171. Aah! I can't take this
anymore.
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172. All this garbage has been burned
into my brain forever.
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173. My head is ruined.
It's full of nonsense, trash.
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174. I hate this place.
I hate Dexter.
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175. I never want to live
another one of his memories
as long as I live!
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176. What is he
in such a rush for?
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177. Didn't want to fight
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178. Dexter—boy genius
again, did he?
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179. What a baby.
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180. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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181. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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182. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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183. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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184. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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185. Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.
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186. Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.
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187. Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.
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188. Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.
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189. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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190. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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191. Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.
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192. Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.
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193. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.
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194. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.
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195. Whoosh whoosh whoosh.
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
whoosh whoosh.
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196. Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.
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197. Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.
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198. Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!
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199. Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!
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200. Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!
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201. Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!
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202. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.
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203. Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.
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204. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
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205. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
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206. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
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207. Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
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208. Shift shift shift.
Shift shift shift shift shift.
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209. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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210. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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211. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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212. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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213. Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
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214. Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
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215. Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.
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216. Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.
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217. Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.
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218. Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.
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219. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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220. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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221. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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222. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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223. Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
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224. Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
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225. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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226. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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227. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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228. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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229. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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230. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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231. Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.
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232. Oh, no! Ooh!
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233. My favorite show,
and it's on right now.
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234. I cannot miss it.
I cannot miss it.
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235. I cannot miss it.
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236. Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
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237. All but Dexter:
You missed it.
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238. Ha ha!
Hee hee!
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239. I loved it!
That went fast.
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240. That was a great one.
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241. Oh.
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242. 8:30? galactic gators
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243. oh.
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244. Dragon's creek?
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245. Oh.
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246. I won't—I won't—I won't...
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247. Miss it.
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248. Hee hee!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
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249. That was the best one.
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250. Man, I loved it
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251. when uncle chimp ate
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252. aunt chimp's
prize winning
banana.
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253. And how about
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254. when chimp mama locked
herself in the freezer?
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255. And they had to deep-frost
her like a Turkey!
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256. Hee hee!
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257. Hey, how about the time
chimp daddy caught
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258. chimp mama dressed
like a man?
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259. Ha ha! Remember?
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260. Uh-huh?
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261. Uh, Dexter,
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262. that one aired weeks ago.
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263. Oh, yeah, I guess it did.
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264. But this week,
chimp papa dressed
like a woman.
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265. And then he snuck
into chimp mama's
women's club.
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266. And then
they elected him
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267. the lady
chimps' club
president.
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268. TV:The wild man.
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269. Oh, man,
is he angry.
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270. Hey, Dexter,
you're not leaving
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271. to do your homework
again, are you?
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272. The wild man
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273. I know, dad,
but I've got to study.
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274. Tomorrow is
the big debate.
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275. Well... ok, son.
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276. Whatever.
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277. Oh, why is TV
always so great
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278. when I must do homework?
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279. Why must I always be
such a boy genius?
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280. Why? Why? Why?
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281. Wait. I know why.
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282. So that I can invent
a way to never miss TV again.
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283. I will need
a capsular receiver,
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284. a couple
of satellite dishes,
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285. a bipolar antenna,
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286. and a protective
Gill-toro helmet.
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287. I'll weld them all together,
and I will have...
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288. My global transmission
compression receiver.
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289. And now, TV signals
from satellites
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290. all around the world
shall beam
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291. their prime time programming
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292. directly into my brain.
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293. It's TV my way.
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294. Didn't you love it
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295. when xorna kicked
the sorcerer's heinie?
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296. Yeah. That show was great.
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297. What? Dorkster,
you've never even watched
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298. The high kick queen.
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299. Oh, no?
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300. How about when xorna knelt
before the vokar knight
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301. and then delivered
her high kick to his face?
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302. And then the double thrust.
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303. So, what's the deal
with those TV dinners anyway?
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304. You never see
anyone eat them on TV.
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305. Good night,
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306. and have
a pleasant tomorrow.
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307. That Dexter sure knows
his TV.
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308. He even sounds like one.
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309. Man, all this TV
can be exhausting.
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310. But if it makes me popular,
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311. who cares?
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312. So, by $100,
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313. he had
already used up
his lifelines.
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314. Hee hee!
Ha ha!
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315. What a jerk.
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316. Yes, there were
2 darrins
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317. both named dick.
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318. Ooh.
Ooh.
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319. That was the fat
Elmer Fudd.
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320. He only appeared
in 4 cartoons.
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321. Wow.
Wow.
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322. How do you
know that?
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323. "Marcia, marcia, marcia!"
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324. Cheeseburger,
cheeseburger, cheeseburger.
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325. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
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326. "Townsville's in trouble!"
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327. Oh, brother.
Give it a break.
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328. Ooh.
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329. Dexter?
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330. Newman.
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331. The debate has
begun, and we're all
waiting for you.
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332. The debate?
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333. All right, Dexter,
the first topic
goes to you.
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334. Ahem. Please tells us
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335. about the positive effects
of television
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336. on today's young people.
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337. Heh heh.
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338. You have 30 seconds.
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339. Begin.
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340. The greatest way
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341. for today's kids
to gain knowledge of the world
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342. is through
the wonder of television.
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343. By watching
the inventing channel,
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344. they learn
about science and technology.
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345. By watching
the thinking channel,
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346. they learn
about geography and math.
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347. With television, kids are
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348. in charge of everything.
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349. I think
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350. I'd like to buy a vowel now.
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351. Uh, what I meant to say was,
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352. Alex, I'll take TV talk
for 500.
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353. Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
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354. Hmm, odd.
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355. This is a test.
This is only a test.
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356. Your time is up, Dexter.
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357. All right,
your turn, Herman.
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358. Fellow classmates,
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359. my opponent Dexter,
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360. here, is obviously
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361. a teleholic.
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362. Look at his
pathetic expression.
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363. TV has robbed him
of his personality,
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364. as well as his mind.
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365. He exists
exclusively
in a TV wasteland.
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366. There, he wastes
his days,
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367. staring mindlessly
at his boob tube.
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368. He has fooled
only himself
into thinking
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369. that he's actually
learning something.
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370. But the only thing
he's learned
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371. is how to talk
like a TV.
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372. Oh! I must get
these TV signals
out of my head.
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373. Aha!
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374. I will revert the signals
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375. and program
the compression receiver
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376. to repel
all global transmission.
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377. Aah! Aah!
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378. And that is
why books are
our only salvation.
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379. Dexter,
you may now
respond.
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380. Obviously, my opponent
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381. is trying to scare you.
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382. Fellow students,
TV is not the enemy.
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383. It is your friend.
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384. Just last night,
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385. my friend, TV, and I
went out to eat.
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386. I ordered a TV dinner,
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387. and he got
the satellite dish.
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388. Dexter, stop
that immediately.
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389. Sit on it, fonz.
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390. That's enough.
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391. I declare Herman the winner.
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392. And, Dexter, go to
the principal's office.
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393. Ah—ah—ah, what?
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394. Oh.
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395. Well, Dexter,
your behavior
in that auditorium was
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396. totally appalling,
outrageous, shocking,
and horrifying.
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397. Just what on earth
have you got to say
for yourself, young man?
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398. Well, sir, uh,
you see,
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399. all I can say is...
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400. This concludes
our broadcast day.
Good night.
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401. Enter at your own peril,
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402. past the vaulted door,
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403. where...
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404. Impossible things
may happen
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405. that the world's
never seen before.
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406. captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
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407. captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—
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