1. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
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2. Tell me.
No.
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3. No.
Tell me.
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4. Tell me.
No.
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5. Tell me.
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6. Dexter,
for the last time—
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7. tell me! Tell me!
Tell me!
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8. Absolutely not.
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9. But I must know.
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10. And you shall...
In exactly 7 days.
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11. But I can't wait
that long.
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12. You've already waited
almost a year.
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13. What's another 7 days?
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14. Well, technically,
there are still 7 days,
14 hours, and 36—
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15. make that
35 minutes left.
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16. And the answer
issti
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17. that's final!
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18. Now, if you don't mind,
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19. I have a very important
article
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20. on car waxes to read.
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21. Ha ha ha!
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22. Boys.
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23. Hi, Dexter!
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24. Why the long face,
Dexter?
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25. Dad won't tell me
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26. what he's giving me
for my birthday.
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27. Ha ha, Dexter,
silly! For someone
who's so smart,
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28. you sure are dumb.
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29. Don't you know?
Dad never
tells a secret.
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30. You'd have to be
a mind reader to
figure this one out.
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31. I am still alive.
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32. My cerebellic transfer wave
inducer is a success.
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33. I can now read the minds
of whomever I wish.
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34. Dad, what did you get me
for my birthday?
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35. Overslept again,
Dex?
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36. I see you didn't
even have time
to comb your hair.
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37. I said, what did
you get me
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38. for my birthday?
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39. Heh heh heh!
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40. Now I shall
read his mind.
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41. Ha ha!
When pigs fly, Dexter.
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42. The answer
is still no.
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43. Huh?
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44. Come on, son.
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45. No time
for chitchat.
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46. Now, Dexter. Sit down
and eat your breakfast.
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47. Dexter, thinking:
Yuck! Mom's oatmeal
tastes like barf.
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48. Oh!
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49. Dexter,
don't be rude!
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50. Huh?
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51. That sister of mine:
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52. What
a ferocious pig!
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53. Hey! I'm no pig!
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54. That is enough, Dexter.
Time for school.
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55. But wait.
Dad, what—
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56. the answer is no.
Now git!
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57. Dad with his stubborn
poo-poo doodyhead!
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58. I heard that.
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59. And we
are gonna have
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60. a serious talk
about your potty mouth
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61. when you get home
from school today.
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62. Wait. How come I could not
read dad's mind?
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63. Why did mom say I was rude?
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64. How did Dee Dee know
I called her a ferocious pig?
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65. Unless...
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66. Oh, no. My invention
has backfired.
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67. I must get back to the—
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68. Come on, Dexter.
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69. We're gonna be late
for the school bus.
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70. Oh, no! What have I done?
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71. Everyone can read
my thoughts.
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72. I must keep my mind blank.
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73. Did you say
something, Dex?
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74. Not quite.
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75. Heh heh. I must keep
my mind blank,
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76. keep an empty head.
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77. Empty head.
Empty head.
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78. Hey! Who are
you calling
an empty head?
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79. Get back here!
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80. Don't think anything.
Nothing—
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81. nothing at all.
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82. Oh, but that kid
is so ugly,
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83. and that one
has crazy hair.
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84. Oh, and look at
those braces.
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85. Chubby cheeks, pizza face,
pencil nose, sasquatch.
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86. Oh, what am I thinking?
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87. Heh heh heh.
Just kidding.
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88. Hey, what's up
with that kid?
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89. Dee Dee's
little brother.
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90. Ah.
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91. I must get through school
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92. as safely
and as swiftly as possible.
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93. Good morning, class.
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94. Good morning,
Mr. Muzinsky.
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95. Mr. Hope everyone
had a wonderful weekend.
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96. Don't say anything.
Don't think anything.
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97. Now, today we are going to
discuss one of my favorite
historical figures:
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98. George Washington carver.
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99. Yes. All I have to do
is take notes.
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100. No thinking.
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101. Mr.
George Washington carver,
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102. born in diamond grove,
Missouri, around 1860,
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103. developed over 300 uses
for peanuts.
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104. Dexter, thinking:
300 uses for peanuts.
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105. One of carver's
most infamous uses
for peanuts...
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106. Dexter, thinking:
Uses for peanuts...
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107. Was his crop rotation
method,
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108. which alternated
nitrate-producing legumes...
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109. Dexter, thinking:
Legumes...
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110. Such as peanuts—
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111. with cotton...
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112. Dexter, thinking:
With cotton.
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113. which depletes soil
of its nutrients.
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114. Which depletes soil
of its nutrients.
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115. Southern farmers soon began
planting peanuts one year
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116. and cotton the next.
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117. Mr. And if Dexter
doesn't stop mimicking me,
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118. he'll be going
to the counselor's office
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119. after lunch.
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120. Dexter, thinking: He'll
be going to the counselor's
office after lunch.
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121. Dexter, thinking:
The day is almost over.
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122. All I have to do
is get through lunch
and the counselor's office,
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123. and I'll be ok.
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124. In fact, all this excitement
has made me quite famished.
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125. Hey! Hey, kid!
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126. Huh?
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127. Yes?
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128. Aah!
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129. I said,
do you want gravy
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130. with your
meatloaf surprise?
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131. Dexter, thinking:
Holy moly!
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132. Huh?
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133. Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll have—
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134. Mole!
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135. I was just trying to—
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136. Mole!
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137. I didn't mean—
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138. Hairy mole!
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139. I don't know
what I'm saying.
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140. Mole!
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141. Anything else?
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142. No, mole—
I mean, ma'am.
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143. How am I going to
get through this?
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144. The counselor will hear
my every thought.
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145. Not... unless she hears
my every word.
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146. I do not call myself
"boy genius" for nothing.
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147. Dexter? I'm ready
to see you now.
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148. Mrs. Morris,
so nice to see you.
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149. It's been a while,
hasn't it?
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150. I am terribly sorry
about what happened.
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151. I don't know what
got into me today.
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152. I think I'm having
quite a bit of
stress, actually—
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153. the harsh reality
of life
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154. battling my inner
ideal instincts,
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155. my need to succeed
and excel
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156. at everything
precious to me.
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157. I feel it slipping
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158. through my delicate
little fingers.
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159. Maybe I'm lost
in my search
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160. for my own identity.
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161. You can
understand that,
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162. can't you,
Mrs. Morris?
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163. Well, of course
I can, Dexter.
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164. Good. Well,
I must be going,
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165. and thank you
so very much for this
insightful discussion.
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166. You have given me
quite a lot
to think about.
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167. Oh, Dexter?
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168. Yes?
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169. Keep in touch,
won't you?
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170. Well, of course,
I will...
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171. Sucker.
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172. It is not fair.
Nothing is coming out
right.
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173. Why does everything
have to be so hard?
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174. This whole thing stinks.
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175. I have had enough!
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176. I must reverse this
at once.
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177. I think my cerebellic transverse
wave inducer is a success...
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178. At last.
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179. Dad?
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180. Yes, Dexter?
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181. What did you get me
for my birthday?
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182. Dexter, how many times
are you going to ask?
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183. I'm not telling you...
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184. That I got you some
amazing, one-of-a-kind
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185. multi-functional socks—
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186. all wool, soft to the touch,
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187. yet breathable and supple.
Fully lined...
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188. Man, I went through
all of that just for
a pair of stupid socks?
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189. I know, I know.
You don't have to tell me.
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190. Another day, another
giant leap for mankind.
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191. Good night, monkey.
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192. Be a good monkey
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193. and watch over the lab
while I sleep.
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194. I know my duck
is here, Dexter.
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195. Now give it back!
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196. I do not have
your stupid duck,
mandark,
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197. and I'll prove—
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198. aah!
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199. Aah.
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200. Ohh.
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201. Mom!
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202. Mom!
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203. Hi, kids.
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204. Mom!
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205. Mom!
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206. Mommy!
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207. You're home!
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208. Hi, Dex.
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209. How was your day, kids?
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210. Oh, mom.
It was fantastic.
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211. Yeah,
it was cool.
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212. How cool?
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213. Real cool!
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214. Really?
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215. Yeah. Yeah.
It was cool.
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216. Such an insignificant
and putrid waste
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217. of the human race.
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218. He offers no benefit
to society,
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219. no improvement
to culture,
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220. no magnanimity
to the integrity of boyhood—
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221. a despicable character,
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222. self-seeking
at anyone's expense—
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223. if you will, a rat
in the sewer of life.
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224. Dexter...
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225. Also known as "stupid
stinky doodyhead!"
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226. I hate Dexter!
I hate Dexter!
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227. I must defeat him.
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228. I must destroy his lab,
but how?
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229. Dexter may be small, puny,
even sickly at times,
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230. but his brain
defies its size.
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231. I must infiltrate
Dexter's home,
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232. learn his weaknesses,
prey on his flaws,
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233. and most importantly,
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234. put an end
to his scientific career
and laboratory for all time!
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235. But how?
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236. How can I get
close enough to Dexter
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237. without revealing
my true identity?
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238. Be right back, kids.
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239. Left a bag in the car.
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240. Oh! Would you look at that?
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241. Darn.
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242. Come here, little tomato.
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243. With Dexter's mother
cryogenically captured
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244. in suspended animation,
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245. followed by an obligatory
suit-up sequence,
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246. I can become—
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247. momdark! Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
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248. Ha ha ha!
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249. It's bedtime, Dexter...
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250. Permanently!
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251. Oh, hello.
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252. Ahem.
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253. Hello, kids.
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254. Hi, mom!
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255. Hi, mom!
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256. Well, I guess
I'll, uh,
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257. be upstairs.
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258. This is too easy.
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259. I should have thought
of this years ago.
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260. And now to destroy.
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261. Hee hee hee!
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262. The moment I've been
waiting for.
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263. Honey, I'm home!
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264. Where are you?
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265. Uh, coming.
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266. Drat!
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267. Ha ha ha!
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268. Oh, that's great, Dex.
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269. You're a cool
young dude.
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270. Yoo-hoo,
honeycakes!
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271. Uh, mom here.
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272. Uh, um, how—
how was your day?
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273. Very exciting?
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274. Hey, how about a hug
for your overworked hubby?
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275. Ooh. Working out again,
sweet cheeks?
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276. Ow!
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277. Oh, honey,
was that your foot?
I'm so sorry.
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278. Gee, dad.
Are you ok?
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279. Ha ha!
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280. Yeah, but all this
jumping around
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281. sure has made me
hungry.
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282. Out!
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283. Huh?
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284. I have
to cook dinner.
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285. Now out, out,
out, out, out,
out, out, out.
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286. But—
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287. Uh, but—
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288. out, out, out,
out, out!
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289. Uh, your mother needs
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290. a little personal time.
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291. What?
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292. Voilà!
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293. Wow, mom!
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294. Cool!
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295. Clever and fun,
dear.
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296. You should really
do this more often.
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297. Mmm.
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298. Uh, honey?
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299. Yes, dear?
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300. How about
some popcorn here?
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301. The show's
about to start.
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302. Of course, dear.
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303. Popcorn.
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304. Thanks, mom.
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305. Thanks, mom.
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306. Mom?
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307. Yes, Dexter?
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308. You forgot the butter.
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309. Of course, Dexter.
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310. Thanks, mom.
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311. Mom?
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312. Yes, Dee Dee?
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313. I'm thirsty.
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314. Of course, Dee Dee.
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315. Oh,
this is too—
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316. I'm gonna—
this has gone too—
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317. ooh, I can't
believe it.
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318. Mom!
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319. Mom!
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320. Honey!
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321. Yuck!
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322. Mom!
Mom!
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323. Honey!
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324. Mom!
Mom!
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325. Honey!
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326. Mom!
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327. Mom!
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328. Honey!
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329. Mom!
Honey!
Mom!
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330. Mom!
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331. Mom!
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332. What?
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333. It's time
for my good night kiss.
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334. No.
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335. A terrible dilemma.
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336. What am I to do?
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337. If I don't acknowledge
Dexter's maternal request,
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338. Dexter will suspect
something.
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339. The show will be over.
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340. My secret will be revealed,
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341. everything I've worked for.
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342. But Dexter's germs—
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343. I can feel the bacteria
crawling inside me already.
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344. But I've come so close.
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345. I must—
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346. Disgusting.
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347. But if Dexter
wants a kiss, then—
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348. Mom!
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349. Dee Dee!
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350. Kiss Mary Beth.
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351. Drat.
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352. Now that everyone's asleep,
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353. I can finally unleash
the evil I have planned
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354. for Dexter's lab!
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355. Oh, honey!
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356. Uh, you called, dear?
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357. You coming to bed,
dear?
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358. Uh, uh, I think
my roast is burning.
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359. I'll just
sleep downstairs.
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360. Aw, come on.
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361. That's what you
always say!
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362. I can't go up there now.
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363. I'll just have to rest here
until tomorrow.
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364. Mom!
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365. Honey!
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366. Mom!
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367. Honey!
Mom!
Mom!
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368. Honey!
Mom!
Mom!
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369. Honey!
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370. Honey!
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371. Honey!
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372. At last,
Dexter's laboratory!
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373. Ha ha ha!
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374. Ha ha ha!
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375. Ha ha—oh. Ow.
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376. Oh, oh, no.
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377. Too tired to destroy.
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378. Going to lay down
for a while,
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379. then come back.
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380. Uh, honey?
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381. Yes, dear.
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382. You missed a spot.
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383. Missed a spot.
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384. Missed a spot.
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385. Missed a spot.
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386. Missed a spot.
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387. Missed a spot.
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388. Missed a spot.
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389. Missed a spot.
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390. Now where's that spot?
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391. Hey!
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392. There are
two moms...
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393. But which one's real?
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394. Mom tied
my ballet shoes
real good.
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395. Yeah, but I didn't get
a bedtime story.
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396. My shirts were
pressed to perfection
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397. like mother
always does,
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398. but that massage
was unusually relaxing.
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399. Oh, well. I guess
we'll just have
to have two mother—
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400. oh, shut up, will you?
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401. You want to know
who the real mom is?
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402. She is!
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403. I don't even know
how she puts up
with all you jerks
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404. with your whining—
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405. "mommy this,"
"mommy that,"
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406. "honey, I need this,"
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407. "mommy, wipe that."
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408. You ruined
my whole plan
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409. with your griping,
complaining,
and fussing.
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410. You're all a bunch
of selfish creeps.
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411. I don't even want
to destroy your lab
anymore, Dexter.
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412. I just want to get
the heck out of here!
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413. Huh. What
did he mean
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414. when he said
"your lab,"
Dexter?
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415. I don't know.
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416. Honey!
Mom!
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417. Honey!
Mom!
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418. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
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419. captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—
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420. enter at your own peril
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421. past the vaulted door...
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422. Where impossible things
may happen
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423. that the world's
never seen before.
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