1. Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group and
U.S. department of education
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2. captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
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3. Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
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4. The concrete jungle.
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5. Deep within its seemingly
endless towers—glass, steel,
and mortar—life exists.
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6. Large, colorful, metallic herds
vie for position
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7. on its main thoroughfares
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8. as many different life forms
fill its walkways
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9. with constant activity.
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10. But our story takes us
to the outskirts of
this harsh environment,
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11. outside, to a more
docile setting.
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12. Here, more timid creatures
live and work among one another
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13. in smaller dwellings.
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14. One dwelling in particular
has captured our attention,
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15. for deep within its barriers
a discovery has been made,
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16. a discovery of a creature
living
in somewhat secret seclusion
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17. within towering
artificial walls and barriers
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18. of flashing brilliance
and display—
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19. none of which has been seen
anywhere else in the world—
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20. built with skillful hands
and a greater knowledge.
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21. Yes, within
this sterile environment
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22. lives a new class of creature:
Dexterius homogenius.
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23. Although pale from lack
of exposure to the sun,
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24. we've appropriately
dubbed him "blackfoot."
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25. Full of peculiar habits,
we follow blackfoot
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26. on a typical day of activity,
intrigue, and adventure.
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27. After years of close study,
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28. one habit in particular
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29. has eluded our reasoning
as to why:
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30. The repetitive motion
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31. of this strange ritual,
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32. which can last for hours
at a time,
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33. is perhaps an inherited
genetic defect.
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34. Amazing...
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35. We must keep a safe distance
from blackfoot,
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36. for there is always
that element of danger.
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37. See how blackfoot's
meticulous preparation
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38. leads into some
ritualistic song and dance.
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39. His high-pitched chanting
can be heard
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40. echoing into the far reaches
of his lair,
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41. evoking rain or good fortune—
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42. or perhaps
the spirits themselves.
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43. Blackfoot's ritual
comes to an abrupt end.
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44. Motionless, he lies there
in an ecstatic state for hours.
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45. Amazing.
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46. One of the most intriguing
qualities of this little guy
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47. is his ability to procreate.
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48. In the flash of an instant
his task is done,
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49. after which he goes into a hail
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50. of self-appreciating grunts.
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51. Awoo awoo awoooo!
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52. And now, thanks to
the marvels of modern
technology,
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53. we are able to slow down
this amazing process
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54. and see firsthand how he
achieves this incredible feat.
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55. Amazing...
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56. But lo, blackfoot's excitement
won't last long,
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57. for unbeknownst to him,
somewhere in his domain
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58. lurks the master of camouflage,
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59. the wizard of stealth
and ever-present foe
to his creations,
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60. deedicus deedicus,
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61. whom we have
affectionately dubbed "slim."
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62. With great agility and speed,
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63. she approaches her target...
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64. Eeeee!
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65. Using a high-pitched squeal
to render blackfoot helpless.
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66. Slim makes her way to
blackfoot's amazing creation,
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67. and with the same speed and
accuracy of blackfoot
himself...
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68. Destroys it.
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69. Amazing...
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70. Again with the aid
of modern technology,
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71. we may see just how this deed
is accomplished
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72. time and time again.
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73. Amazing...
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74. The only time blackfoot leaves
the safety of his lair
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75. is to forage for food.
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76. With an opportunity
of great size in sight,
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77. blackfoot takes his chance.
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78. Nearly upon his meal,
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79. blackfoot is knocked out
of the running
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80. by larger, more agile creatures,
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81. who go at the act of eating in
a gruesome, animalistic manner.
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82. Oh, I can't watch!
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83. Yes, it is common for
the smaller and weaker creatures
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84. to be left out of a meal.
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85. Left only with scraps,
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86. blackfoot searches for
even a tiny morsel...
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87. But to no avail.
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88. Defeated and hungry,
blackfoot returns
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89. to the sanctity and solitude
of his lair.
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90. Hygiene also plays
an important role
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91. in blackfoot's agenda.
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92. See how he removes his outer
protective layer,
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93. exposing his pale underlayer.
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94. Once in the water,
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95. blackfoot captures
a nearby creature
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96. and squeezes a thick secretion
from its head,
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97. which he works into
a fine lather.
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98. See also how he cleanses
the rest of his body
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99. with a foreign object,
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100. paying special attention
to the details.
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101. Hey, that tickles.
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102. Unfortunately, before we could
witness this event further,
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103. blackfoot discovered us.
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104. Sensing danger,
blackfoot makes a run for it.
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105. Realizing we may lose track
of blackfoot, we give chase,
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106. and have no alternative
but to tranquilize him...
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107. Thus putting an end
to our research for now.
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108. For someday we shall return
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109. to check up on
this wonderful creature,
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110. this wonderful world
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111. of blackfoot.
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112. My yob is simple—
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113. after their designated hours
of their education,
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114. the children exit
to return home,
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115. while I clean,
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116. sweep,
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117. and prepare their environment
for the next day of education
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118. in sterile surroundings.
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119. For I am yani the yanitor.
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120. It is an uncomplicated yob
that leaves me much time after
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121. to spend with my beloved wife.
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122. But one children continues
to complicate situation
and torture.
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123. Night after night, he stays
much time past designated hours.
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124. And when he decides to go,
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125. he leaves a residue of filth
that prolongs me from
my beloved
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126. for several more hours—
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127. and when I return home,
my love is taking her slumber,
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128. and waking her would be
catastrophical.
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129. So I wait and I plan,
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130. until the day that he would need
to exit quickly
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131. for something important—
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132. for then I will have him...
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133. Yessiree, working here
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134. is much more peaceful than
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135. being at home with Dee Dee.
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136. Working late again,
Dexter?
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137. Yes, sir, yani.
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138. I'll be burning
the midnight oil
tonight, for sure.
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139. Heh heh—will you
excuse me, please?
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140. Sure, Dexter.
No problem.
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141. Huh? An emergency
action message?
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142. Dexter, Dee Dee
has located
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143. the curbo-comic laser Cannon.
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144. Probability of lab destruction
is 99—
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145. Oh, my gosh!
I have to get home immediately!
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146. Gotcha!
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147. I can't believe Dee Dee's
got the Cannon.
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148. Well, it shouldn't be too hard
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149. to stop her.
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150. Why did the stupid
janitor lock the door?
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151. Yani on P.A.: It's always
the yanitor who is stupid—
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152. huh, Dexter?
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153. Aah! Who said that?
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154. Why, it's your pal
yani, Dexter.
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155. Why did you
lock the door?
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156. Oh, I just wanted
to make sure
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157. that you don't get
disturbed working
tonight.
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158. Oh, thank you,
but I'll be leaving
early tonight.
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159. No, Dexter, I don't
think you understand.
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160. You're staying here—
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161. forever!
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162. Ha ha ha ha ha!
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163. Hmm. The janitor
has gone crazy
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164. and locked me in,
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165. Dee Dee is destroying
the lab at home—
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166. what am I gonna do?
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167. Doors locked—
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168. windows barred in—
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169. security camera is watching
my every move—
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170. fire alarm—
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171. heh heh heh heh.
Vengeance is sweet.
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172. Uh-oh.
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173. Yes, yes!
Dexter, you are a genius.
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174. Open up in there!
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175. Hey, how's it going?
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176. No problem here.
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177. I'm the yanitor.
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178. Yust a glitch
in the system.
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179. Roger that.
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180. So, Dexter, you thought
you can play trick on yani—
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181. but it is yani
who will be playing
the tricks tonight.
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182. Eh, Dexter?
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183. Ho ho ho! Dexter,
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184. the firemen couldn't
find the fire,
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185. but I think things will start
to heat up for you.
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186. Owee! Ow! Owoo! Owee ow!
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187. Whoa!
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188. Aah!
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189. Ow! Ooh! Eee!
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190. Agh! Ooh! Aah!
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191. So,
are you too hot, Dexter?
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192. Well, let me cool you down
a little.
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193. No!
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194. Ow! Ooh! Eee! Agh! Aah!
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195. Going up?
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196. Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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197. Aaaaagh!
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198. Going down.
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199. Perfect.
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200. What the—?
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201. Hello, Dexter.
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202. What are you,
crazy or something?
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203. No, Dexter!
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204. I want you to feel
the pain that I feel
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205. when you make me
stay late every night!
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206. What?
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207. Here you go, Dexter.
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208. There's the exit.
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209. Go home.
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210. Aah!
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211. Aah!
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212. Yes, yes!
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213. That is the pain
inside my heart.
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214. Aah!
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215. Yes, Dexter, yes!
You're almost there.
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216. Oops. Too late!
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217. So, smarty pants—
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218. what do you say now?
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219. Clean up this mess.
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220. Yani!
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221. Liebchen.
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222. Do notliebchen
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223. I wait every night for you
to come home,
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224. thinking that
you're working hard—
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225. but
here I find you
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226. goofing around
with friends!
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227. But—
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228. no.
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229. Not another word.
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230. You coming home...
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231. But—
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232. now!
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233. You, boy—
open door!
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234. Heh heh,
yes. Ma'am.
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235. Come, yani.
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236. But—
come!
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237. Boy, the holidays sure do
make people
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238. do the craziest things.
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239. Hey, puppet pal
clem—
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240. why don't
we pass the time
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241. by singing
a song?
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242. Ok, puppet pal
Mitch.
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243. That sounds like fun.
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244. Ok. Here goes.
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245. Dexter, my boy,
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246. you are a genius.
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247. Dexter, my boy,
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248. you are a genius.
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249. Exactly.
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250. Dexter has
the most brilliant mind
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251. in the entire universe.
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252. Dexter has the most
brilliant mind
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253. in the
entire universe.
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254. Dexter's fantastic
creations
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255. are the envy of
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256. all of the world!
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257. Dexter's fantastic
creations are
the envy
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258. of all the world!
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259. Not only that,
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260. but, man,
his secret laboratory
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261. is the best secret
laboratory of all time.
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262. Not only that,
but, man,
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263. his secret
laboratory
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264. is the best
secret laboratory
of all time.
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265. My sister Dee Dee
is a very stupid girl.
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266. My sister Dee Dee is
a very stupid girl.
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267. I finally invented someone
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268. I can have an intelligent
conversation with.
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269. I am only sad
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270. that I did not think
of it sooner.
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271. Dee Dee: Ooh! What do
these buttons do?
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272. No, Dee Dee!
Stop!
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273. Don't
touch anything!
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274. I'm gonna bop you
one, Dee Dee.
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275. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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276. Ooh, what's that?
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277. Get out, Dee Dee!
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278. Get out! Get out! Get out!
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279. Oooooh!
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280. Ooooooooh!
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281. Oh,
Dee Dee...
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282. Cookie!
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283. It always puts me in
a reasonable mood
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284. to see her go through the door
like that.
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285. Dee Dee: Ooh,
what's that?
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286. Dee Dee, how many times
must I tell you...
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287. What do these
buttons do?
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288. Dexter's
a stupid girl.
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289. No, no, no.
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290. Dexter is the most
brilliant mind
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291. in the entire universe.
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292. Dexter's
a cookie.
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293. I am not a cookie!
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294. Dexter's
a cookie.
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295. Am not!
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296. Are too
a cookie.
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297. I'm gonna bop
you one, girl.
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298. Cookie!
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299. Good riddance.
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300. That had to be
my worst invention yet.
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301. Yup, that's
a big'UN.
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302. Yup, yup.
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303. That's a big'UN for
the Florida everglades.
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304. Next we'll cover
worms and plastic
minnows.
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305. Yup, yup.
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306. Who's trying to
sneak up on me?
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307. Dexter,
boy genius.
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308. Dexter
the cookie.
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309. Shh. I'm trying
to watch my show.
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310. I'm gonna
bop you.
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311. Now, that is no way
to talk to your—
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312. you are stupid girl.
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313. Get out! Get out! Get out!
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314. Yup, yup, yup.
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315. Don't touch anything!
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316. I-I'm sorry.
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317. You're a cookie!
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318. Get out! Get out!
Get out!
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319. All right.
Let's see...
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320. I'll need two eggs...
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321. Hmm. One stick of
butter...
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322. Half a cup of sugar...
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323. A pinch
of cinnamon...
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324. A cup of cinnamon.
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325. A cup of cinnamon.
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326. A quart of pepper.
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327. A quart of pepper.
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328. A box of olives.
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329. A box of peppers.
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330. Yup, yup, yup.
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331. A block
of cheese.
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332. A block
of cheese.
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333. A gallon of milk.
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334. A gallon of milk.
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335. Are you sneaking up
on me?
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336. A cup of coffee.
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337. A cup of coffee.
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338. Beans.
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339. Beans.
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340. Cookies!
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341. Cookies!
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342. Worms and
plastic minnows.
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343. Now, wait just
a minute here.
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344. Where am I going to get
worms and plastic minnows?
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345. The Florida everglades.
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346. Dexter's secret!
Dexter's secret!
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347. Dexter's secret!
Dexter's secret!
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348. Oh, no!
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349. What has that
stupid bird done?
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350. If that canary
sings,
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351. my entire laboratory
will be compromised.
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352. Dexter's secret!
Dexter's secret!
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353. Dexter's secret!
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354. Say, you know,
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355. there's something
strange about
this bird.
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356. Now, where do you suppose
it came from?
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357. Hmm... hmm...
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358. A secret!
A secret!
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359. A secret!
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360. A secret?
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361. All right,
Mr. Bird.
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362. You've got some
explaining to do.
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363. Out with it,
right now!
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364. I'm not going to
ask you again.
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365. Exactly where
did you come from?
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366. Dexter's secret!
Dexter's secret!
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367. Dexter's secret!
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368. Dexter's secret.
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369. Dexter!
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370. How many times
have I told you
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371. not to throw
the bird?
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372. But, mom,
it's not a real bird.
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373. I built it
in my secret laboratory.
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374. Ohhh!
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375. Smooth move,
Dexter.
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376. Now you'll have to
erase mom and dad's
memories—
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377. again.
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378. Smooth move, Dexter.
Smooth move, Dexter.
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379. Smooth move, Dexter.
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380. Enter at your own peril,
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381. past the vaulted door
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382. where impossible
things may happen
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383. that the world's
never seen before.
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384. captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group and
U.S. department of education
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