1. - Devereux Wigs.Copy !req
2. - Devereux Wigs.Copy !req
3. - Devereux Wigs.Copy !req
4. We guarantee our wigsCopy !req
5. aren't made
from hair off dead bodies.Copy !req
6. - I don't like it.Copy !req
7. I don't like it at all.Copy !req
8. - Well, let's just
cut to the chase.Copy !req
9. Why bring up the thing
about dead body hair?Copy !req
10. Our wigs aren't made
with dead body hair.Copy !req
11. - Yeah, that's the whole point.Copy !req
12. - Advertising 101.Copy !req
13. Answer the question
before they ask it.Copy !req
14. - Rhonda, the main reason peopleCopy !req
15. don't buy wigs is becauseCopy !req
16. they're afraid they're
made from dead people hair.Copy !req
17. - But our wigs aren't made
from dead people hair.Copy !req
18. - Yeah, I feel like we're saying
the same thing here.Copy !req
19. - Okay, you don't like
the mention of dead people hair.Copy !req
20. Fine.
We'll look at that.Copy !req
21. Is there
anything else?Copy !req
22. - Yeah, that song.
Is that you two singing?Copy !req
23. - Guilty as charged.Copy !req
24. - Yeah, it is. It is.
- Oh, okay, okay.Copy !req
25. When are you gonna bring in
the real singers?Copy !req
26. - I'm sorry, did you say
real singers?Copy !req
27. - Yeah, real singers.Copy !req
28. - Wow.Copy !req
29. - I mean—Copy !req
30. - I mean,
I'm right here.Copy !req
31. I'm listening.
I'm going, "What the?"Copy !req
32. - I mean, she's like,Copy !req
33. "Real singers,"
to my face, to your face.Copy !req
34. - Dumb to my face,
you know what I mean?Copy !req
35. - There is to be absolutely
no mention of dead people.Copy !req
36. I just want a sexy lady
on a sexy horseCopy !req
37. and a nice, sexy song...Copy !req
38. - I mean, that's basically
what you got.Copy !req
39. - Not sung by you two.Copy !req
40. - Cramblin Advertising.Copy !req
41. No, he went crazy.Copy !req
42. - Well, mama said
there'd be days like this.Copy !req
43. - I mean, I know I put up
a good front in there,Copy !req
44. but that "real singers" comment
honestly bothered me.Copy !req
45. - I had a feeling.
- I mean, I almost cried.Copy !req
46. - You should have.Copy !req
47. You know, as professional
and calm as I seemed in there,Copy !req
48. I was actually a little pissedCopy !req
49. about that dead
people hair thing.Copy !req
50. - Real singers.
She asked for real singers.Copy !req
51. What does that make us,
huh, fake singers?Copy !req
52. Hey. You can't just say it
to somebody and not expect themCopy !req
53. to cry in the middle
of a business meeting.Copy !req
54. - You know what we need
to do right now?Copy !req
55. - Go down to the morgue
and check the heads for hair?Copy !req
56. - No.Copy !req
57. That is a great idea,
though.Copy !req
58. But first...Copy !req
59. - Up next, Tim and Sam,
everybody, Tim and Sam.Copy !req
60. ♪ Don't you goCopy !req
61. ♪ Don't you goCopy !req
62. ♪ By my side!Copy !req
63. - Tim and Sam, everybody!Copy !req
64. Give it up for Sam!Copy !req
65. And Tim.Copy !req
66. Great job, Sam.Copy !req
67. - Amazing job, Sam.
- Thank you.Copy !req
68. - Hey, Timmy.Copy !req
69. - So, Tim, I was thinkingCopy !req
70. about what Rhonda said,Copy !req
71. and I may have come up
with a wayCopy !req
72. to fix
the Devereux Wigs jingle.Copy !req
73. - Yeah.Copy !req
74. So I was thinking,Copy !req
75. maybe instead of both of us
singing the song,Copy !req
76. what if I just—Copy !req
77. - Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
78. I don't want to
put him on the spot,Copy !req
79. but we have a legendary singer
in the house tonight.Copy !req
80. Maybe we can get him
on the stage.Copy !req
81. Come on, everybody,
Freddie "Motown" Brown.Copy !req
82. Come on, everybody.
Please, Freddie, just one song.Copy !req
83. - Listen, y'all crazy.Copy !req
84. Y'all crazy.
Y'all crazy.Copy !req
85. I ain't getting paid
to do this shit.Copy !req
86. Hit it.Copy !req
87. - What were you saying
about Devereux?Copy !req
88. - Oh, I was gonna sayCopy !req
89. maybe Freddie "Motown" Brown
should sing the jingle.Copy !req
90. - Yeah.Copy !req
91. Yeah.Copy !req
92. - But that's not what
you were gonna say.Copy !req
93. - Yeah, it was.
- No, 'cause you didn'tCopy !req
94. even know he was here
when you started talking.Copy !req
95. - Come on, man.Copy !req
96. Bam.Copy !req
97. I like that.Copy !req
98. Hi.Copy !req
99. Can I get a Crown Royal
on the rocksCopy !req
100. and let me keep that
little velvet bag.Copy !req
101. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
102. - You know,
"Ocean of Tears"Copy !req
103. is my favorite song
in the whole world.Copy !req
104. - Mine too.Copy !req
105. Ka-ching.Copy !req
106. Tim Cramblin,
Cramblin Advertising.Copy !req
107. - And Sam Duvet,
Cramblin-Duvet Advertising.Copy !req
108. I'm just kidding.
It's just Cramblin Advertising.Copy !req
109. - It was my father's company.
- Yeah, but he went nuts,Copy !req
110. and we took over.Copy !req
111. - He's my best friend.
I'm married to his sister.Copy !req
112. - But she's an idiot.
- Leave her alone.Copy !req
113. I love her.Copy !req
114. Sir, we represent Rhonda
Devereux of Devereux Wigs.Copy !req
115. - We were wondering if you'd be
interested in singing a jingleCopy !req
116. for one of their commercials.
- Mm-mm.Copy !req
117. A commercial's just not
my thing, you know.Copy !req
118. I don't do commercials.Copy !req
119. - Well, is there anything
we could doCopy !req
120. to make you change your mind?Copy !req
121. - No.Copy !req
122. But I'll tell you
what you can do.Copy !req
123. Give me a ride home.Copy !req
124. - Sure, you got it, Freddie.
- Absolutely, sir.Copy !req
125. Where do you live?Copy !req
126. - Lake Orion.
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
127. - It ain't that far!Copy !req
128. - No, no, no,
it's our pleasure.Copy !req
129. - It's pretty far.Copy !req
130. My dad knows Diana Ross.Copy !req
131. - Cool.Copy !req
132. - Come on in, yes, sir.Copy !req
133. Welcome, welcome.Copy !req
134. - Oh, nice place, Freddie.
- Yeah.Copy !req
135. I won this place in a card game
from the Four Tops.Copy !req
136. That's why there's
exactly four rooms.Copy !req
137. They were living here
together like the Ninja Turtles.Copy !req
138. - The Ninja Turtles
live in the sewer.Copy !req
139. - Yeah, but together.Copy !req
140. - Is this a real
gold record, Freddie?Copy !req
141. - Yes, it is.
Got that back in 1968Copy !req
142. for "Dancin' on
12th Street."Copy !req
143. - Cool.Copy !req
144. - Want to see something
really cool?Copy !req
145. - Whoa.
- Whoa.Copy !req
146. Yeah, baby.Copy !req
147. These are all the suits
I wore back in my Motown days.Copy !req
148. Got married in that one.Copy !req
149. Got divorced
in that one, same day.Copy !req
150. This one, Motown 25.Copy !req
151. This one, Tom Green pranked me
in, made me eat goo.Copy !req
152. - You just don't
do that to people.Copy !req
153. - Piece of shit.Copy !req
154. - I know it's rude
to ask but—Copy !req
155. - You want to
put the suits on.Copy !req
156. - Yes, sir, very much so.Copy !req
157. - I'll do it
if Sam's doing it.Copy !req
158. - Keep working.Copy !req
159. That's it.
Right on the money.Copy !req
160. - Look at this.
- Check this out.Copy !req
161. - You can—that's it.Copy !req
162. - You got it good.Copy !req
163. - This is me.
Is this me?Copy !req
164. - Cheers
to Lake Orion.Copy !req
165. It's not that far.Copy !req
166. - It was.
It really was.Copy !req
167. - That's good.Copy !req
168. - Ooh, look at
all those albums.Copy !req
169. - Yeah, that's
my whole career on one wall.Copy !req
170. This is my first album.Copy !req
171. Tiny Freddie Brown.
I'm 12 years old.Copy !req
172. If you look way back
in the corner,Copy !req
173. that's my daddy standing there
with a belt in his hand.Copy !req
174. This is a Christmas album
called "Jingle These Bells."Copy !req
175. All the songs are
about Santa doing the nasty.Copy !req
176. Yeah.
Over there, look over there.Copy !req
177. That's my alter ego,
Astro Freddie and the Aliens.Copy !req
178. Really, really trippy.Copy !req
179. Scares me to just walk by.Copy !req
180. Look at those eyes.Copy !req
181. Ugh.Copy !req
182. California Raisins,
y'all remember that?Copy !req
183. - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
184. - Okay, we did a less
racist versionCopy !req
185. of that called
the Milwaukee Peaches.Copy !req
186. Needless to say, we didn't sell
a lot of those albums.Copy !req
187. - You know, Freddie,
speaking of sales, you know,Copy !req
188. we'd pay you to sing
the Devereux Wigs ad.Copy !req
189. - It ain't gonna happen, guys,
not today.Copy !req
190. The last two ad execs
came in hereCopy !req
191. and tried to convince me
to do a commercial,Copy !req
192. they took my civil rights anthemCopy !req
193. and turned it into a commercial
for a damn water park.Copy !req
194. I love that commercial.Copy !req
195. Sorry.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
196. - Well, you can't blame us
for trying, right, Freddie?Copy !req
197. - Yeah.Copy !req
198. - You know, "Ocean of Tears"
is the first albumCopy !req
199. I ever bought.
- And I sold him that album.Copy !req
200. I did very well on that deal.Copy !req
201. Very well.Copy !req
202. - It really is my favorite song.Copy !req
203. There's really a great storyCopy !req
204. how I came up with the idea
of "Ocean of Tears,"Copy !req
205. and I love telling it.Copy !req
206. Not enough people hear it.
Y'all want to hear it?Copy !req
207. - Absolutely.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
208. - Let's do it.Copy !req
209. Yeah.Copy !req
210. "Ocean of Tears."Copy !req
211. You see, boys,
it was back in 1965.Copy !req
212. I'm on a double billing
with Junior WalkerCopy !req
213. and the All-Stars.Copy !req
214. I'm thinking to myself,
just out of nowhere,Copy !req
215. "What...Copy !req
216. "if a man cried so much,Copy !req
217. "he criedCopy !req
218. and made an ocean of tears?"Copy !req
219. - Yeah.Copy !req
220. Yeah, that's what we figured.Copy !req
221. - You don't get it.Copy !req
222. I'm talking about the man
cried an ocean made of—Copy !req
223. - Tears.
- That's it.Copy !req
224. You got it, mm-hmm.Copy !req
225. - Freddie, I always listenCopy !req
226. to that song
whenever a girl breaks my heart.Copy !req
227. Who's the girl that you wrote
that song about?Copy !req
228. - You know, then I was
imagining an ocean.Copy !req
229. You got fish.
You got shark.Copy !req
230. You got whales.Copy !req
231. You got shrimp and scuba men,Copy !req
232. but, you know, they're not
swimming in ocean water.Copy !req
233. No, no!Copy !req
234. They're swimming
in an ocean of—Copy !req
235. - Tears, we get it.Copy !req
236. - Exactly.
Tears.Copy !req
237. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
238. That's the whole story
behind "Ocean of Tears."Copy !req
239. - It's not a very
good story, Freddie.Copy !req
240. - It's not great.Copy !req
241. - It's not a good story.Copy !req
242. - It's not a good—
It's not a good story?Copy !req
243. Well, you, dude.Copy !req
244. - Sorry.
- Freddie, we really are sorry.Copy !req
245. - No, I don't want to hear it.
Get out!Copy !req
246. I told Johnny goddamn Carson
the same story.Copy !req
247. The man cried.Copy !req
248. You two ungrateful
son of a bitchesCopy !req
249. get out of Lake Orion,Copy !req
250. and don't you never come back.Copy !req
251. - That shouldn't be a problem.
- Tim.Copy !req
252. - Asshole and asshole light.Copy !req
253. - I just say we go back
to RhondaCopy !req
254. and demand we sing
the jingle.Copy !req
255. We always sing
our own jingles.Copy !req
256. - Tim, there may be a way
to make Rhonda happyCopy !req
257. without having to rerecord
the jingle.Copy !req
258. - I don't like it,Copy !req
259. and you do a lot of things
very well.Copy !req
260. - Thank you.Copy !req
261. - But maybe
instead of both of usCopy !req
262. singing the jingle, we—Copy !req
263. - Oh, my God.Copy !req
264. I changed my mind.Copy !req
265. I'm gonna
do your commercial.Copy !req
266. - That's great, Freddie.
But why?Copy !req
267. - You know why, 'cause you are
the first peopleCopy !req
268. to ever tell meCopy !req
269. my "Ocean of Tears"
story sucked.Copy !req
270. I thought about it,
and it does suck.Copy !req
271. - Yeah.
- It really does.Copy !req
272. - Yeah, it does.
- I think we were expectingCopy !req
273. a story about, like,
a really bad breakup you had.Copy !req
274. - Which is a much better story.Copy !req
275. See, you guys are good.Copy !req
276. But I want y'all
to do me a favor.Copy !req
277. - Yeah, sure.
- Get your candy assesCopy !req
278. in the house
and take those damn suits off.Copy !req
279. - Yeah, you got it.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
280. - You got it, bud.
- Get the hell in there.Copy !req
281. - Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
282. I want to get my stuff anyway,
my wallet.Copy !req
283. - Okay, ready when you are.Copy !req
284. - Yeah, but kind of
do it like, uh...Copy !req
285. - That's nice, Sam,
really nice.Copy !req
286. - Thank you.Copy !req
287. - That's great.Copy !req
288. Maybe put a little something
extra on it,Copy !req
289. you know, like, like...Copy !req
290. - Oh, you want me
to put some stank on it, huh?Copy !req
291. - A little bit of
stank on it.Copy !req
292. Mm, yeah.Copy !req
293. - Yeah, also maybe try one like,Copy !req
294. - We got it.Copy !req
295. - Freddie, can we
buy you lunch?Copy !req
296. - No, but you can give me
a ride home.Copy !req
297. - God damn it.Copy !req
298. I saw a car in his driveway.Copy !req
299. - You know what, Sam,
you guys go ahead.Copy !req
300. I'll catch up, okay?
- Yeah, all right.Copy !req
301. No.Copy !req
302. There we go.Copy !req
303. For sure
if that guy sings it.Copy !req
304. Damn it, I can't sing!Copy !req
305. - So we took out
all the stuffCopy !req
306. about the dead body hair.Copy !req
307. - Coward.
- Tim.Copy !req
308. And we replaced
our voices with—Copy !req
309. well, let's just see if you
can recognize for yourself.Copy !req
310. - Devereux Wigs.Copy !req
311. - Oh, my God.
Is that who I think it is?Copy !req
312. - It sure is.Copy !req
313. - That's actually
Freddie "Motown" Brown.Copy !req
314. - I love him.
Now, that's a real singer.Copy !req
315. - Oh, Jesus.
- Enough!Copy !req
316. The problem wasn't
with our singing.Copy !req
317. The problem was with my singing,Copy !req
318. so either Sam sings the ad
by himself, or nobody does.Copy !req
319. - Tim, it's all right.Copy !req
320. I'm no Freddie "Motown" Brown.Copy !req
321. - No, Sam, you're right.Copy !req
322. You're not.
You are twice the singer he is.Copy !req
323. - Jesus, Tim.Copy !req
324. Look, we have other copies
of that, so don't worry.Copy !req
325. - No, we don't.
I erased them all.Copy !req
326. Oh, really?Copy !req
327. You erased
all the copies.Copy !req
328. - Yeah, I erased them,
so now Sam has to sing the song.Copy !req
329. How'd I erase them?
I went in the computer.Copy !req
330. I hacked into it,
and I erased them all,Copy !req
331. just like Dr. Robot does.Copy !req
332. - You mean Mr. Robot.Copy !req
333. - Shut up, Lea!Copy !req
334. - Lea, read the card, please.Copy !req
335. - "We want to apologize
for Tim's behavior.Copy !req
336. "We assure you, this has
never happened before,Copy !req
337. and it will never happen again."Copy !req
338. - Why didn't you ever
tell me I can't sing?Copy !req
339. - Because you love singing.Copy !req
340. - Yeah, but why
would you sing with meCopy !req
341. if you knew you were
better on your own?Copy !req
342. - Tim, we're a team.Copy !req
343. I mean,
we do everything together.Copy !req
344. - Cramblin Advertising.Copy !req
345. Hello, Mother.Copy !req
346. - You know what, you're right.Copy !req
347. We are a team.Copy !req
348. Tim?Copy !req
349. Tim!Copy !req
350. Where is he going?Copy !req
351. - Down the elevator.Copy !req
352. - I need you
to make me a sign.Copy !req
353. - I won't make a sign
with the wordsCopy !req
354. "dick,"pussy," or "shit."Copy !req
355. Please print legibly.Copy !req
356. - Wait a minute.Copy !req
357. What if my name was Dick Pussy?Copy !req
358. - For the sake of this argument,
yes, it is.Copy !req
359. - Okay, well, I'll make whatever
sign you like, Mr. Pussy.Copy !req
360. - Oh, please, call me Dick.Copy !req
361. I'ma need two signs now...Copy !req
362. please.Copy !req
363. - Company meeting!
Company meeting.Copy !req
364. - Everyone
or just creative?Copy !req
365. - Everybody.Copy !req
366. - Yeah, all three of you.
Come on.Copy !req
367. - Well, we can hear you
from here. Just say it.Copy !req
368. - Yeah, why should
we have to move?Copy !req
369. - Would you just
come here, please?Copy !req
370. Gee.Copy !req
371. Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to inform youCopy !req
372. that Cramblin Advertising
is now closed.Copy !req
373. - You've destroyed everything
your father built.Copy !req
374. - You're an idiot.
- No, none of that. Shut up.Copy !req
375. Cramblin Advertising
is now closed,Copy !req
376. but I'd like to invite you
to the grand openingCopy !req
377. of Cramblin-Duvet Advertising.Copy !req
378. - You changed the name.
Got it.Copy !req
379. Can I go?
- Yes.Copy !req
380. - Am I gonna have to say all
of that when I answer the phone?Copy !req
381. - Yes, you do, Sheila.Copy !req
382. - Buddy, you didn't have
to do that.Copy !req
383. - Yeah, Sam, I did.Copy !req
384. Because we're a team,Copy !req
385. and we do
everything together.Copy !req
386. Also, I got you this.Copy !req
387. - Police say there were
many, many survivors.Copy !req
388. In business news, local storeCopy !req
389. Devereux Wigs was shut down
after it wasCopy !req
390. discovered they were using dead
people hair in their wigs.Copy !req
391. - I knew it!Copy !req
392. - We go live to
consumer watchdog Tanya Stark,Copy !req
393. who went down
to the morgue todayCopy !req
394. to check the headsCopy !req
395. and found many
to be missing their hair.Copy !req
396. Should've checked
the heads.Copy !req
397. - Tanya.
- Blonds, brunettes,Copy !req
398. redheads, all missing
their hairCopy !req
399. thanks to a grisly connectionCopy !req
400. with the glamorous world
of Detroit wigs.Copy !req
401. - Tanya, I have to ask you.
Are you wearing a wig?Copy !req
402. - Ms. Devereux, does Devereux
Wigs use dead people's hair?Copy !req
403. - No, this is the firstCopy !req
404. I've heard anything
about dead people hair.Copy !req
405. - Liar!Copy !req
406. Ms. Devereux!
Ms. Devereux!Copy !req
407. - Oh, she ditches the cooler.
- Check the cooler.Copy !req
408. - Oh, you know, I think
Tanya is wearing a wig.Copy !req
409. Oh, she's about to whup her ass.Copy !req
410. - Dead people hair.
So great.Copy !req
411. Very, very funny.Copy !req
412. - My dad knows Diana Ross.Copy !req
413. - Cool.Copy !req