1. Here sits the genius Japanese filmmaker, Sawai Spellman Takeshi.Copy !req
2. Okay!Copy !req
3. He's widely known for his underground and cult B-movies.Copy !req
4. His most popular works include "Slaughtered By a Cop"
and "Pandashark Massacre."Copy !req
5. He's also known to be an enthusiastic follower of DMC.Copy !req
6. And so one day, he ventured into
Death Records with a special offer...Copy !req
7. What do you think of the script, Ms. President?Copy !req
8. I was thinking of drawing a new picture of romance with this film.Copy !req
9. And with that in mind, I humbly ask that you allow that man to make a guest appearance.Copy !req
10. Just thinking about it makes my cunt fucking soaked!Copy !req
11. Okay! I'll give my consent to allow Krauser to make an appearance in your film!Copy !req
12. Th-Thanks so much!Copy !req
13. That's the script...Copy !req
14. However!Copy !req
15. Since Krauser is a musician, appearing in a movie could end up being a very bad career move.Copy !req
16. If you put out some piece of shit film, I'm going to fucking kill you, got it?Copy !req
17. Yes ma'am! I was already prepared for death before I came with my offer!Copy !req
18. Okay then! Take your script back and get outta my office, asshat!Copy !req
19. We had another promotional event for the album today.Copy !req
20. I've been so busy lately, I haven't had time to play my own music...Copy !req
21. Sometimes I wish that I had my own studio to work at...Copy !req
22. Negishi!Copy !req
23. Seems like the label's decided to put you in a movie.Copy !req
24. Some romance movie by a director named Sawai.Copy !req
25. A movie?Copy !req
26. Krauser has nothing to do with romance so...Copy !req
27. Th-They're gonna put me, as myself, in a movie?Copy !req
28. Yeah, and the heroine's gonna be some actress named Yamano Hanae.Copy !req
29. And I'll be cast alongside Hanae-chan...?Copy !req
30. This girl's so cute! And so fashionable!Copy !req
31. Yamano Hanae-chan, huh?Copy !req
32. This is incredible! Fabulous even!Copy !req
33. I'm going to star in a movie with this girl!Copy !req
34. That's great, Soui-chan.Copy !req
35. It looks like the president finally decided to give a worthy job!Copy !req
36. I hope Hanae-chan and I will be good friends.Copy !req
37. What if we fall in love?Copy !req
38. Hey, d'you hear the new vinyl from those Dee Em See fellas?Copy !req
39. But how could I?! I can't forget that I still have Aikawa-san!Copy !req
40. Not like we're going out or anything though!Copy !req
41. Tossing aside your old girlfriend after becoming famous is a terrible thing to do!Copy !req
42. Not like we're going out or anything though!Copy !req
43. They've got plenty o' good songs 'sides "Satsugai."Copy !req
44. I wonder what kind of movie it'll be...Copy !req
45. Since it's a romance film, I wonder if it'll be anything like "Roman Holiday?"Copy !req
46. "I've always loved you too!"Copy !req
47. Acting, eh?Copy !req
48. You're pretty good, Soui-chan!Copy !req
49. Aw shucks, Grampa Shige. You're just saying that.Copy !req
50. You've got the skills.Copy !req
51. You're the second coming of Ishihara Yujiro!Copy !req
52. Taking the path of acting ain't so bad either.Copy !req
53. I was once just another musician...Copy !req
54. But I started down the path to becoming an actor from an unexpected event.Copy !req
55. I'll make friends with the unique and very stylish actor,
Hakazono Makoto-kun, who's one of the "Big Four" of fashion!Copy !req
56. Even though I couldn't befriend Asato-san!Copy !req
57. Makoto-kun, true acting is not acting, you know...Copy !req
58. How persuasive!Copy !req
59. Your acting is really convincing!Copy !req
60. Keep this up, and you'll be at Katsu Shintaro's level in no time!Copy !req
61. It's from the president!Copy !req
62. Hello? President? I heard it all from Wada-kun!Copy !req
63. Thank you so much for this!Copy !req
64. The next day...Copy !req
65. Krauser-san has arrived!Copy !req
66. This way.Copy !req
67. I am such an idiot...Copy !req
68. Krauser-san, it's an honor to finally meet you!Copy !req
69. I'm the director, Sawai Spellman Takeshi!Copy !req
70. Incredible! Krauser-san in the flesh!Copy !req
71. I bought your first album! It's so awesome! Revolutionary even!Copy !req
72. So he's the director?Copy !req
73. Wow, the director's bowing!Copy !req
74. Insane!Copy !req
75. Thank you so much for helping
us out during your busy schedule!Copy !req
76. Krauser-san, here are the main actors you'll be supporting.Copy !req
77. Hello. I'm Yamano Hanae, and I'll be playing Yuko.
Let's work hard together.Copy !req
78. Ha-Hanae-chan! She's so cute!Copy !req
79. Yamano! If you slack off, Krauser-san will rape you, got it?!Copy !req
80. O-Okay...Copy !req
81. Ugh! What the hell is wrong with him?!Copy !req
82. He's ruining my image!Copy !req
83. I'm Hakazono, I'll be playing Takeshi.Copy !req
84. Who the fuck is this clown?Copy !req
85. Ha-Hakazono Makoto-kun?!Copy !req
86. He's going to be in this movie too?!Copy !req
87. Hakazono, what the fuck is wrong with you today?
Keep it up and I'll murder you!Copy !req
88. What the heck are you talking about?Copy !req
89. I can't believe I'm standing before the two people I most respect in this outfit...Copy !req
90. What's with that bizarre look on Krauser-san's face?!Copy !req
91. Please forgive his rudeness! He's a foolish actor!Copy !req
92. Um... It's okay.Copy !req
93. I don't mind if you wish to cut out my intestines in anger!Copy !req
94. Why is he making such a big deal out of it?Copy !req
95. Everything's ready to go for filming!Copy !req
96. Anyways, the first scene we're doing starts with Takeshi and Yuko eating at a ramen joint.Copy !req
97. Krauser-san, you're going to strangle the owner in the background behind them.Copy !req
98. Shouldn't I have at least a line or a role in the scene?Copy !req
99. Replacing your name would be absolute absurdity, Krauser-san!Copy !req
100. Feel free to speak whatever lines you desire!Copy !req
101. And...Copy !req
102. Action!Copy !req
103. Let's eat this tasty ramen fast so we can get rid of your horn...Copy !req
104. Yeah.Copy !req
105. We don't have fried human ramen!Copy !req
106. G-Good enough?Copy !req
107. All we have is fried pork ramen!Copy !req
108. Okay, cut!Copy !req
109. Great job, Krauser-san!Copy !req
110. Now, let's do the scene where you rub the girl's horn with your eyes rolled back in your head!Copy !req
111. It'd help if you could think of something fitting to say during this scene.Copy !req
112. Your horn's getting longer and longer.Copy !req
113. I wonder if I'll die...Copy !req
114. Wh-What the hell am I doing?!Copy !req
115. What the hell is romantic about this movie?!Copy !req
116. My eyes are getting tired!Copy !req
117. Extend! Exteeeeend!Copy !req
118. Alright. We're ready to shoot the last scene, the bedroom scene!Copy !req
119. What?Copy !req
120. I'm not gonna really put it in, so just relax, okay?Copy !req
121. I know, I'm sorry. It's just that this is the first time I've ever stripped on camera...Copy !req
122. Stripped...Copy !req
123. I'll lead on this one.Copy !req
124. Hanae-chan's going to get naked?!Copy !req
125. Isn't it still too early for her to be stripping on camera?!Copy !req
126. And especially in this kind of movie?!Copy !req
127. What the hell is this company thinking?!Copy !req
128. Y-You there. Do you truly desire to expose your flesh here?Copy !req
129. No. I actually refused but...Copy !req
130. the company I work for already made an agreement with the director.Copy !req
131. I see...Copy !req
132. Th-The last movie you were in, "Schoolyard Squash" was truly an amazing piece of cinema.Copy !req
133. You watched that silly romantic comedy?Copy !req
134. A-As a demon, I must not let a single creation pass by my eyes unnoticed.Copy !req
135. Although I was not interested in it,Copy !req
136. I didn't dislike that pure and innocent
performance you performed so flawlessly.Copy !req
137. The choral scene in the basement
somehow pierced my heart.Copy !req
138. Then, the last scene at twilight when you rode together on that bicycle?Copy !req
139. That had the potential to make even myself cry!Copy !req
140. I-I'm glad you liked it. You remembered every detail.Copy !req
141. Alright, so now it's time for the hot sex scene after Yuko brings the sick Takeshi some congee!Copy !req
142. Krauser-san, you also have to think of something to do in this scene!Copy !req
143. Eh?!Copy !req
144. Alright people!Copy !req
145. Action!Copy !req
146. I'm sorry...Copy !req
147. Catching a cold when your horn's in such a state...Copy !req
148. It's okay. Just eat your congee.Copy !req
149. Wait, stop!Copy !req
150. Hanae-chan, you can't do this bedroom scene!Copy !req
151. Now, open up.Copy !req
152. Goddammit!Copy !req
153. At this rate, she'll do it!Copy !req
154. This entire scene is resting on Krauser-san's performance...Copy !req
155. Somebody,Copy !req
156. Let it fly...!Copy !req
157. stop this scene, now!Copy !req
158. If no one's going to stop her,Copy !req
159. then I will stop her by force!Copy !req
160. Th-That's...!Copy !req
161. Krauser-san's charging up for a "Demon Jewel!"Copy !req
162. This last scene is going to be phenomenal!Copy !req
163. Alright everyone, channel every last bit of your evil towards Krauser-san!Copy !req
164. Director, what are you doing?Copy !req
165. Takeshi...Copy !req
166. Yuko...Copy !req
167. Yes, it's in!Copy !req
168. This feels weird...Copy !req
169. Director, stop this scene for a minute!Copy !req
170. Who the hell does this guy think he is?!Copy !req
171. Did he just spit...?Copy !req
172. The "Demon Jewel" is a must to coordinate this spring season!Copy !req
173. Yes! The last scene is finished!Copy !req
174. Once we get it edited, we'll have a private screening for the movie!Copy !req
175. No Bire.Copy !req
176. I gotta run to the bathroom.Copy !req
177. Well then, before we begin the movie,Copy !req
178. let's have a word or two from everyone.Copy !req
179. I'm Yamano Hanae, and I play Yuko, the girl who has a horn coming out of her head.Copy !req
180. I expressed the sadness of a girl who has a horn come out of her head with all of my heart.Copy !req
181. I hope you all enjoy watching.Copy !req
182. I'm Hakazono Makoto, and I play Takeshi, Yuko's boyfriend, who is supporting her with her horn dilemma.Copy !req
183. After reading the script, I chose to fully become my character, and put in maximum effort during my performance.Copy !req
184. Makoto-kun's so cool. I wonder, why he decided to be in this movie?Copy !req
185. He said that this movie is an important step in his career during an interview.Copy !req
186. Hey, look at that guy.Copy !req
187. Uh...Copy !req
188. I am Krauser II, and I strangle some old fart to deathCopy !req
189. and rub the girl's horn while my eyes are rolled up.Copy !req
190. I was incredibly satisfied to be allowed to play as myself in the film.Copy !req
191. Krauser-san, I came to watch your movie!
This is my first time to a private screening!Copy !req
192. Krauser-san didn't need another role to play except as himself!Copy !req
193. Now your influence has reached the movies!Copy !req
194. Even a small movie like this gets to have a screening, I guess...Copy !req
195. It'll be interesting to see what kinda flick this turns out to be.Copy !req
196. If it's some shitfest that does not make me wet,
I'll stop it from being released immediately!Copy !req
197. What the hell is up with that stupid chant?Copy !req
198. Krauser-san, you're really popular!Copy !req
199. N-Not at all...Copy !req
200. That girl's talking to Krauser-san with a smile on her face!Copy !req
201. He must've raped her already!Copy !req
202. He must've finished filling her up!Copy !req
203. Enough already...!Copy !req
204. Director, do you have any closing comments?Copy !req
205. With this film, I drew a true portrait of love.Copy !req
206. With that said, love is a formless thing that is not easy to obtain.Copy !req
207. As humans, however, we are disgusting creatures drawn to such paradoxes, trash if you will.Copy !req
208. And from the stench that wafts from such shit comes that "love" we seek, which helped create this film.Copy !req
209. Please turn your attention towards the screen.Copy !req
210. Crap, now the president's sitting behind me. I don't wanna watch this, I wanna go home!Copy !req
211. Ms. President, please sit back and enjoy!Copy !req
212. It's begun!Copy !req
213. We've been going out for a year now, haven't we?Copy !req
214. Yeah...Copy !req
215. This scene is kinda nice...Copy !req
216. Takeshi, I want to be with you forever.Copy !req
217. This movie is pretty good.Copy !req
218. Hey! It's been two minutes already, and still no Krauser-san?!Copy !req
219. What the fuck is this shit?!Copy !req
220. Goddammit! Krauser-san should be in the movie from start to finish!Copy !req
221. Let's eat out tonight, okay?Copy !req
222. Sure.Copy !req
223. I hope they'll be happy together, forever.Copy !req
224. It's been 42 minutes already!Copy !req
225. Where is he?!Copy !req
226. Now watch this, Ms. President.Copy !req
227. I've been having really bad headaches lately.Copy !req
228. Really?Copy !req
229. Look at my head.Copy !req
230. Oh! A horn!Copy !req
231. I'll reimburse you for your armor, immediately!Copy !req
232. I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!Copy !req
233. There's Krauser-san! It's about fucking time!Copy !req
234. Where?!Copy !req
235. He's making the waiter kneel to him!Copy !req
236. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
237. Yes! The president's pleased!Copy !req
238. Just when it was getting good too...Copy !req
239. We should really go to the hospital.Copy !req
240. We have the results from your X-rays back,
but we can't find the source of infection.Copy !req
241. I see...Copy !req
242. S-Stop it, please...Copy !req
243. Wow! Krauser-san drank all of the old fart's IV in one go!Copy !req
244. He must've been thirsty!Copy !req
245. He's so cool!Copy !req
246. I don't remember that part being in the script...Copy !req
247. They gave me some medicine, but they didn't know the cause...Copy !req
248. Look! Krauser-san's riding the train on that old hag's lap!Copy !req
249. Even though the seat next to him is empty!Copy !req
250. I-It hurts...Copy !req
251. Don't cry. If you take the medicine, you'll definitely feel better.Copy !req
252. But, you're probably sick of looking at me because of the horn.Copy !req
253. Never. No matter what happens to you, I'll always love you!Copy !req
254. Takeshi...Copy !req
255. This scene is really touching...Copy !req
256. Extend, extend, extend, extend, extend, extend,Copy !req
257. extend, extend, extend, extend, extend, extend!Copy !req
258. My head's hurting again...!Copy !req
259. Th-The horn's...!Copy !req
260. There it is! Krauser-san's "1,000 Horn Extensions of Death!"Copy !req
261. Extend! Extend!Copy !req
262. That girl's true form must be that of a demon!Copy !req
263. What the hell is that...?!Copy !req
264. Those assholes are really noisy.Copy !req
265. I bet they don't understand a thing about my delicate acting.Copy !req
266. Spellman, this is superb!Copy !req
267. You haven't seen anything yet, Ms. President.Copy !req
268. Still to come is Krauser-san's ad-lib, as well as the parts where I added the finishing touches!Copy !req
269. This is where all my efforts come to a glorious fruition!Copy !req
270. I'm sorry...Copy !req
271. Catching a cold when your...Copy !req
272. horn's in such a state...Copy !req
273. It's okay. Just eat your congee.Copy !req
274. Now, open up.Copy !req
275. What is this grotesque sound I'm hearing?Copy !req
276. Maybe the sound system's broken.Copy !req
277. Takeshi...Copy !req
278. Yuko...Copy !req
279. Wait, could this be...?!Copy !req
280. No fucking way!Copy !req
281. They used this scene after all...!Copy !req
282. Look!Copy !req
283. It is true!Copy !req
284. All the evil in the entire world is slowly being channeled into Krauser-san...Copy !req
285. It's the "Demon Jewel!"Copy !req
286. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
287. It's in!Copy !req
288. This feels weird...Copy !req
289. Director, stop this scene for a minute!Copy !req
290. Who the hell does this guy think he is?!Copy !req
291. ...this spring season!Copy !req
292. What?!Copy !req
293. This is the part when I stopped the scene and that guy said his lame ad-lib!Copy !req
294. What is this...?Copy !req
295. What's going on?!Copy !req
296. What's up with this congee anyways?
It feels kinda squishy, but kinda thick.Copy !req
297. And my clothes are all sticky now!
I wanted to eat it all fashionably too!Copy !req
298. By consuming my Demon Jewel, the stickiness of your clothes will be the least of your worries.Copy !req
299. What are you talking about?Copy !req
300. What?Copy !req
301. Gah-!Copy !req
302. You're already unfashionable.Copy !req
303. Krauser-san kicks ass!Copy !req
304. This movie's gotta win at least one Academy Award!Copy !req
305. What just happened?Copy !req
306. I don't fucking believe it!
They messed with the last scene!Copy !req
307. I'm sorry you two! This is all my fault!Copy !req
308. That hit the spot! Fucking crazy movie!Copy !req
309. Yeees!Copy !req
310. Yay!Copy !req
311. And thus, the president loved "No Bire," however...Copy !req
312. due to a court ruling brought forth by the
performing actors' respective companies,Copy !req
313. the release date was indefinitely postponed.Copy !req
314. Postponed? Thank goodness!Copy !req
315. Detroit Metal City!Copy !req
316. Okay!Copy !req
317. Okay.Copy !req
318. Matsuyama Kenichi here.Copy !req
319. Did you enjoy the "No Bire" movie?Copy !req
320. I hope you'll also enjoy the DMC movie.Copy !req
321. Matsuyama Kenichi, signing out.Copy !req