1. Desperate Housewives S02E03 You'll Never Get Away from MeCopy !req
2. As one affair ends...Copy !req
3. We don't have to sneak around.
We can have a real relationship.Copy !req
4. another begins.
- Edie!Copy !req
5. I asked if she'd like
to live together. She said yes.Copy !req
6. - And yet another...
- This is Rex's mother, Phyllis.Copy !req
7. - Claims. This is Joe Flannery.
- My daughter-in-lawCopy !req
8. - has a boyfriend.
is exposed.Copy !req
9. It won't break your heart
to leave those sad faces?Copy !req
10. And while some people can't wait
to get out of the house,Copy !req
11. others are being kept
there against their will.Copy !req
12. Which one is Rex's headstone?
I always forget.Copy !req
13. It's right down this row.Copy !req
14. Oh! Oh, yes. That's right.Copy !req
15. Over the years,
Bree Van De KampCopy !req
16. had grown increasingly concernedCopy !req
17. over her mother-in-law's forgetfulness.Copy !req
18. Oh, honey, did I forget to take
the pins out of that dress?Copy !req
19. Her lapses had become more frequent...Copy !req
20. Sweetie, didn't I tell you
I was gonna paint that chair?Copy !req
21. more glaring...Copy !req
22. Oh, dear. Didn't I mention
I waxed the floor?Copy !req
23. and more dangerous.Copy !req
24. Yes, Bree was worried
about Phyllis's faulty memory.Copy !req
25. But she was more than happy
to remind her.Copy !req
26. Especially when it came
to the important things.Copy !req
27. So have you given any thought
to when you might be ending your visit?Copy !req
28. - What?
- Have I become a burden?Copy !req
29. Is that what you're saying?Copy !req
30. I was simply asking
when you were planning to leave.Copy !req
31. There was no agenda
behind the question.Copy !req
32. Oh, I... I don't know.Copy !req
33. Why don't we play it by ear.Copy !req
34. Yes. Let's.Copy !req
35. What on earth?Copy !req
36. Oh, my God. What happened?Copy !req
37. It looks like someone dug Rex up.Copy !req
38. Well, I got that. But why?
Why would they do that?Copy !req
39. Why, I don't know.Copy !req
40. Unless...Copy !req
41. Unless what?Copy !req
42. Maybe this has something to do
with that insurance investigator.Copy !req
43. Insurance investigator?Copy !req
44. He came by asking
all sorts of questions.Copy !req
45. I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
46. Maybe you were at the store.
Anyway, he was very suspicious.Copy !req
47. - Suspicious?
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
48. He has a theory that Rex
didn't die of a heart attack.Copy !req
49. He thinks he was poisoned.Copy !req
50. It was in that moment
Bree could finally see the truth.Copy !req
51. Did I not mention that?Copy !req
52. Her mother-in-law's memory was fine.Copy !req
53. It was her soul that was faulty.Copy !req
54. The parties took place
on the front lawn of 4347 Wisteria LaneCopy !req
55. every Sunday afternoon.Copy !req
56. Chloe Pendergast
would bring the tea set,Copy !req
57. which was appropriate,
since she was the hostess.Copy !req
58. Brittany Kreiss provided formal attire
from her mother's closet.Copy !req
59. How are you?Copy !req
60. And Marissa Ann McKay
invited the additional guests,Copy !req
61. some of whom hadn't been
to a party in years.Copy !req
62. Of course, it never occurred
to the three young girlsCopy !req
63. that while they were busy
playing out their fantasy...Copy !req
64. one of the older girls
in the neighbourhoodCopy !req
65. was engaging in a fantasy of her own.Copy !req
66. - Hey.
- Oh, hi, Mrs Solis.Copy !req
67. - Ralph.
- Off to the mall again?Copy !req
68. You know me.Copy !req
69. There was nothing
Gabrielle enjoyed as much as shopping.Copy !req
70. And even when she
couldn't afford to take anything home,Copy !req
71. she took satisfaction in looking...Copy !req
72. at the merchandise.Copy !req
73. Hey, Susan. What's going on?Copy !req
74. It's Karl's weekend to have Julie,
and they're always back by six.Copy !req
75. That's our custody agreement.
And it's after six.Copy !req
76. - It's like 6.15.
- Well, see? There you go.Copy !req
77. I'm sure they just forgot.Copy !req
78. Well, I have a court order.
It's out of my hands.Copy !req
79. It'd still be nice
if you gave them a grace period.Copy !req
80. Oh, I'm being nice.
I could have him arrested.Copy !req
81. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm
all for Julie spending time with Karl.Copy !req
82. He is still her dad, and she loves him.Copy !req
83. - But?
- But he's with Edie!Copy !req
84. I mean, she's not exactly
the maternal type.Copy !req
85. I wouldn't be a good mother
if I wasn't concerned.Copy !req
86. Who knows what passes
for a kid-friendly good time in there?Copy !req
87. Drugs? Porn? Smoking?Copy !req
88. Doesn't sound like they're
having an orgy in there.Copy !req
89. Well, obviously they saw us coming.Copy !req
90. Whoo! That's a strike.Copy !req
91. - Hey, guys!
- Hey, Mommy.Copy !req
92. Hey! Look who's here.Copy !req
93. Parker, guess what I got.Copy !req
94. - What?
- School supplies.Copy !req
95. - School supplies?
- Yeah.Copy !req
96. And the best part of it is, I got youCopy !req
97. a really cool backpack.Copy !req
98. Whoa, look at that. Pretty neat, huh?Copy !req
99. Wow. Thanks.Copy !req
100. So on your first day of school,
you and your dad can find your cubby,Copy !req
101. and you can hang it up.Copy !req
102. You're not taking me?Copy !req
103. Your dad's gonna take you
to school on your first day.Copy !req
104. Just me and you, big guy.
I'll be right there to hold your hand.Copy !req
105. But I thought Mommy was taking me.Copy !req
106. Yeah, well, honey, I have to work.Copy !req
107. Mommy's boss is a mean, mean lady,Copy !req
108. and if I miss work, I'll lose my job.Copy !req
109. And then we won't have
any money to buy food.Copy !req
110. Honey, you gotta believe me.Copy !req
111. If I could be there,
you know that I would.Copy !req
112. Mmm.Copy !req
113. All right.Copy !req
114. I didn't know it was that important.Copy !req
115. I will talk to my boss,
and I will see what I can do.Copy !req
116. Thank you, Mommy.Copy !req
117. Wow, I don't wanna rain on your parade,
but he just totally manipulated you.Copy !req
118. Well, hey, when a kid's that good,
you gotta give him his due.Copy !req
119. An autopsy? Detective,
Rex died of a heart attack.Copy !req
120. Well, there were some anomalies
in the doctor's report.Copy !req
121. Anomalies? What anomalies?Copy !req
122. Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm not at liberty
to discuss this any further with you.Copy !req
123. - Am I a suspect?
- I didn't say that.Copy !req
124. Well, if I am,
you're wasting your time.Copy !req
125. I loved Rex, and anyone who knows meCopy !req
126. will tell you that I was
incapable of hurting him.Copy !req
127. You sure about that?Copy !req
128. You talked to Phyllis!Copy !req
129. Again, I can't discuss the case.Copy !req
130. She's my mother-in-law. Of course
she said horrible things about me.Copy !req
131. Lower your voice.Copy !req
132. She blamed me
for every problem Rex and I had.Copy !req
133. So there were problems?Copy !req
134. It was a marriage.
Of course there were problems.Copy !req
135. May I record this, so there's
no confusion over your statement?Copy !req
136. - No, you may not record this!
- You refuse to make a statement?Copy !req
137. I'm not refusing anything.
I'm saying, stay away from Phyllis!Copy !req
138. She's a... she's a raving loon!Copy !req
139. Ma'am, perhaps you'd be more comfortable
with an attorney present.Copy !req
140. You want a statement?Copy !req
141. Fine. I'll give you a statement.Copy !req
142. My husband died of a heart attack.Copy !req
143. I loved him very deeply.
And your mother did a lousy job!Copy !req
144. To Bree's way of thinking,Copy !req
145. there were two kinds
of people in the world.Copy !req
146. Those who were useless
before their morning coffee...Copy !req
147. and those who weren't.Copy !req
148. What's going on?Copy !req
149. Don't rush me, Bree!
I'm an old woman.Copy !req
150. Don't rush me.Copy !req
151. Get her out of here.Copy !req
152. I will tell you one thing.
You wouldn't be acting this wayCopy !req
153. if you didn't feel guilty
about something!Copy !req
154. What's the occasion?Copy !req
155. Uh, our anniversary.Copy !req
156. Oh, right.Copy !req
157. How could you forget our anniversary?Copy !req
158. You sit in a cell all day long
staring at a calendar!Copy !req
159. What's the big deal?
Our marriage was a sham anyway.Copy !req
160. - Not this again.
- In real marriages, wives are faithful.Copy !req
161. Yeah, and husbands remember
anniversaries. So I guess we're even.Copy !req
162. You equate forgetting
our anniversary with cheating?Copy !req
163. You are clearly determined
to ruin this special day for us.Copy !req
164. What is wrong
that you don't feel guilty?Copy !req
165. - I feel tons of guilt, so back off!
- You never even apologised.Copy !req
166. I apologised a million times.Copy !req
167. But you always followed it up
with an excuse.Copy !req
168. "I was lonely."You weren't home."
"A woman needs to be loved."Copy !req
169. A woman does need to be loved.Copy !req
170. And since you didn't give it to me,
I had to find it elsewhere.Copy !req
171. So that's what the teenager
was doing in our bedroom.Copy !req
172. Filling you with love.Copy !req
173. Say what you want, but John Rowland
loved me like no one ever has.Copy !req
174. Not as a trophy or as a possession,Copy !req
175. but for me. He loved me.Copy !req
176. No, he really did.Copy !req
177. Hmm.Copy !req
178. Let me count the ways.Copy !req
179. Um, gently, savagely,Copy !req
180. frequently, upside down...Copy !req
181. Is there a problem here?Copy !req
182. No. It's our anniversary.Copy !req
183. We're just reliving the good times.Copy !req
184. That's an amazing car.
Aston Martin, right?Copy !req
185. Uh-huh. Brand-new. Limited edition.Copy !req
186. A little anniversary present
from my husband.Copy !req
187. He's very generous.Copy !req
188. More than he knows.Copy !req
189. I'm sorry, what?Copy !req
190. I'm singing at church
for the Family Follies.Copy !req
191. Edie's going to accompany me
on guitar. She's really good.Copy !req
192. So you and Edie are gonna be an act.Copy !req
193. Is that a problem?Copy !req
194. No! No.Copy !req
195. I mean, I'm a little surprised that you
didn't ask me to accompany you first.Copy !req
196. On what?
You don't play an instrument.Copy !req
197. I play the piano. You know that.Copy !req
198. How would I know that?
I've never seen you play.Copy !req
199. Well, I played in high school.Copy !req
200. So the last time you tickled the ivories
was sometime in the late '70s?Copy !req
201. It was the early '80s.Copy !req
202. Well, I'm not gonna argue with you.Copy !req
203. You want to do the show with Edie,
and I think that's super.Copy !req
204. So she's really good, huh?Copy !req
205. She knows her guitar.Copy !req
206. Apparently there were a lot of musicians
in her family, like the Von Trapps.Copy !req
207. Hmm.Copy !req
208. Except, you know, her brother OD'd.Copy !req
209. All I'm asking is to play a little ball.
Is that such a big deal?Copy !req
210. Matthew, you are
such an excellent player,Copy !req
211. that people will want
to be your friend.Copy !req
212. Then the next thing you know,Copy !req
213. God knows who will be
wanting to drop by and calling.Copy !req
214. Sweetie, we need to keep a low profile.Copy !req
215. Yeah, but I have got
to get out of this house sometime.Copy !req
216. I'm going crazy here. OK?Copy !req
217. What is it?Copy !req
218. Um... my daughter
is singing a song at church.Copy !req
219. I want to accompany her on
the piano and haven't played in years.Copy !req
220. You were so amazing
at Rex's funeral the other day,Copy !req
221. - I was wondering...
- I don't give lessons.Copy !req
222. Oh... Oh, OK.Copy !req
223. Oh!Copy !req
224. You have a little... on your...Copy !req
225. I'm baking cherry pie. Excuse me.Copy !req
226. What happened
to maintaining a low profile?Copy !req
227. You keep being rude to everybody,
they're gonna start whispering about us.Copy !req
228. You're right. We do want to fit in.Copy !req
229. Lynette! Check it out.Copy !req
230. Ahhh...Copy !req
231. Jason's mouth.Copy !req
232. Stu, isn't that
the new videoconference setup?Copy !req
233. Yeah. Isn't the resolution fantastic?Copy !req
234. Ahh.Copy !req
235. - Hey, Nina.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
236. Uh... about tomorrow morning.Copy !req
237. Mm-hm.Copy !req
238. You know how the first hour of
the morning meeting is always so slow?Copy !req
239. Cos I've got this thing...Copy !req
240. Good God! This is not
about your kids again, is it?Copy !req
241. I know, I promised I wouldn't do this,Copy !req
242. but Parker really needs me to be there
on his first day of kindergarten.Copy !req
243. - He's freaked out I can't be there...
- I'm sorry. How is this my problem?Copy !req
244. Because we can't escape
the fact that I have kids.Copy !req
245. I love my job, but to be fair,
there's got to be some balance.Copy !req
246. OK, how about the people
that don't have the kids?Copy !req
247. Did you ever consider that they
might need balance in their lives?Copy !req
248. Maybe they want to go see a matinee.Copy !req
249. Perhaps they want to come
in late after a big crazy night out.Copy !req
250. Or maybe they just want
to get a haircut,Copy !req
251. which I myself have not
been able to do for two months.Copy !req
252. So no, this is about fairness
to the peopleCopy !req
253. who are childless by choice. OK?Copy !req
254. OK. Good point.Copy !req
255. And I'm sorry about your hair.Copy !req
256. I can see why you're upset.Copy !req
257. - Open wide.
- Not now, Stu.Copy !req
258. Hang on a sec.Copy !req
259. I don't understand.Copy !req
260. This system is gonna let Mommy be
with you on your first day of school.Copy !req
261. The resolution is fantastic.Copy !req
262. The next day, Gabrielle
decided to cheer herself upCopy !req
263. with another round
of window-shopping.Copy !req
264. But this time, she was taken abackCopy !req
265. by what was on display.Copy !req
266. - Mrs Tillman.
- Mr Delfino.Copy !req
267. I heard you were back from
the hospital. I brought you these.Copy !req
268. I can't tell you how long it's been
since I got flowers from a handsome man.Copy !req
269. I mean, I could,
but I don't want your pity.Copy !req
270. Where are you off to?Copy !req
271. I'm going back to Utah for a few weeks.Copy !req
272. The recuperation is taking longer
than the doctors anticipated.Copy !req
273. Speaking of my attack, have they
caught young Zachary yet?Copy !req
274. No. Actually, that's why I'm here.Copy !req
275. So the flowers
were just a ruse. Figures.Copy !req
276. I'm trying to find Zach
before he gets into more trouble.Copy !req
277. Do you know any friends he might have,
anywhere he might be holed up?Copy !req
278. I know you were close to him.Copy !req
279. Funny thing. Since he beat me
and threw me down the stairs,Copy !req
280. we just don't stay in touch
like we should.Copy !req
281. Since when do you care so much
about Zach Young?Copy !req
282. It's complicated.Copy !req
283. I'll bet.Copy !req
284. I'm sure he's out there somewhere,
trying to find his father.Copy !req
285. Which I trust you made impossible.Copy !req
286. No. I let Paul go.
I couldn't go through with it.Copy !req
287. That was a mistake.Copy !req
288. He will spend the rest of his life
running from the police.Copy !req
289. I think that's punishment enough.Copy !req
290. Zach is the only connection
that Paul has with his dead wife.Copy !req
291. At some point,
he will run back here looking for him.Copy !req
292. I don't like to be negative,
but you really should have killed him.Copy !req
293. At the risk of ruining a lovely evening,
I have some unpleasant news.Copy !req
294. The police dug up your father today.Copy !req
295. - What?
- Why?Copy !req
296. Well, apparently they
want to do an autopsy.Copy !req
297. They don't think he had a heart attack.
They think somebody was poisoning him.Copy !req
298. - Who would have poisoned Daddy?
- Well, apparently, I'm a suspect.Copy !req
299. Well, they always look at spouses first.
It has something to do with statistics.Copy !req
300. It's just a formality.
I'll be cleared in no time.Copy !req
301. Would you two
stop looking at me like that?Copy !req
302. Obviously, I did not kill your father!
I loved him deeply.Copy !req
303. But you and Dad had a lot of problems.
Everyone knows that.Copy !req
304. Yes, we had issues,
but I would never have hurt him.Copy !req
305. The night Daddy
had his second heart attack?Copy !req
306. You loved him a lot to make the bed
before taking him to the hospital.Copy !req
307. I was in shock, Danielle. You know that.Copy !req
308. Andrew, surely you
don't think I murdered your father.Copy !req
309. Oh, I know you didn't.
You're not capable of murder.Copy !req
310. - Thank you.
- That wasn't a compliment.Copy !req
311. It takes guts to kill somebody.Copy !req
312. Thank you for changing
your mind about helping me.Copy !req
313. I really appreciate it.Copy !req
314. I'm happy to help.Copy !req
315. And... I'm sorry
if I seemed rude before.Copy !req
316. I... I was having a bad day.Copy !req
317. That's good. That's really good.Copy !req
318. You might want to lay off the pedal.Copy !req
319. Really? Oh, I thought it made
it sound more professional.Copy !req
320. It doesn't.Copy !req
321. Boy, your son really likes
to play his hip-hop music loud.Copy !req
322. The good news is it drowns out
the sound of the dryer.Copy !req
323. Arch your fingers, Susan.Copy !req
324. Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt. I knocked,
but I guess you guys didn't hear me.Copy !req
325. No, we heard you. We were just hoping
that whoever it was would go away.Copy !req
326. I'm still hoping that'll happen.Copy !req
327. What's up, Mom?Copy !req
328. Well, I have good news.Copy !req
329. Um, I've been taking piano lessons
with Betty Applewhite,Copy !req
330. and, uh... Well, I just thought
maybe I could join you guys.Copy !req
331. Like a trio. Doesn't that sound fun?Copy !req
332. I don't do trios. But thanks anyway.Copy !req
333. Well, I don't mean to be
technical here, but this show?Copy !req
334. I mean, it really is supposed
to be a family thing.Copy !req
335. And I hate to point out,
you're not family.Copy !req
336. No, but I have talent. And to most
audiences, talent trumps family.Copy !req
337. Well, what makes you
so sure I don't have talent?Copy !req
338. Mm-mm. Just a hunch.Copy !req
339. Yeah, well, we've all seen your talent,
which is a nice way of telling you,Copy !req
340. - "Put curtains on your bedroom window."
- Guys!Copy !req
341. Be honest. You didn't want any part of
this until you found out I was involved.Copy !req
342. That is so not true.Copy !req
343. Oh, yes, it is. It burns you that your
own daughter picked me over you.Copy !req
344. She did not pick you. It just didn't
occur to her I would agree to do it.Copy !req
345. Now she knows, and if she had
it to do over again, she'd pick me.Copy !req
346. No, she wouldn't.Copy !req
347. Why don't we put it to a test? Who
would you rather have play with you?Copy !req
348. - Oh, no. No, no, no.
- No, it's OK, honey.Copy !req
349. Who do you want to be with you
in the family talent show?Copy !req
350. Yes. Who do you want with you
in front of all of those people?Copy !req
351. And remember, it's church.
They are going to be judging you.Copy !req
352. OK.Copy !req
353. Well, first of all, you both suck.Copy !req
354. But if I had to choose...Copy !req
355. I guess I'd... pick my mom.Copy !req
356. Sorry, Edie.Copy !req
357. Fair enough.Copy !req
358. I'd like my pitch pipe back, please.Copy !req
359. It was you, wasn't it?Copy !req
360. Hello, John. Long time, no see.Copy !req
361. One of the neighbours saw
an Aston Martin driving away,Copy !req
362. and what do you know?Copy !req
363. Well, someone had to tend to the yard.
You were busy elsewhere.Copy !req
364. - You saw us?
- Yes.Copy !req
365. She's old enough to be your mother.
Hell, she's old enough to be my mother!Copy !req
366. Joan's only 41.Copy !req
367. Joan? You're calling her Joan?Copy !req
368. - Why shouldn't I? She's my friend.
- I know your friends,Copy !req
369. and you don't do to your friends what I
saw you doing to that wrinkly old lady!Copy !req
370. OK! So you caught me doing it with
somebody else. What's the big deal?Copy !req
371. - You're supposed to be in love with me!
- What?Copy !req
372. How many times did you whisper,
"You're the only woman I'll ever love"?Copy !req
373. I don't know. A bunch.Copy !req
374. Were you lying?
Trying to get me into bed?Copy !req
375. No, of course not.
I loved you, but we broke up.Copy !req
376. Five minutes ago! Haven't you
ever heard of a mourning period?Copy !req
377. I know it seems quick,
but I have feelings for her.Copy !req
378. In fact, I think
I may be in love with her.Copy !req
379. Oh, my God.Copy !req
380. What's the matter? Is it the baby?Copy !req
381. No.Copy !req
382. Oh, no, no. It's me.Copy !req
383. I am beyond stupid!Copy !req
384. You're not stupid.Copy !req
385. Oh, no, I am.Copy !req
386. Yesterday I was still fantasising
that it could work with you,Copy !req
387. that a one-bedroom apartment
might be cosy.Copy !req
388. - Mrs Solis, please...
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
389. I almost left my husband
for someone who calls me Mrs Solis.Copy !req
390. So, are you upset because
you want to get back together?Copy !req
391. Because I can break up with Joan.Copy !req
392. That's OK, sweetie. I'm good.Copy !req
393. So this is it for us?Copy !req
394. I really feel like we
should end it better than this.Copy !req
395. Actually, John, given how
stupid both of us have been,Copy !req
396. this is an entirely appropriate ending.Copy !req
397. Mrs Van De Kamp. What can I do for you?Copy !req
398. I would like to submit myself
to a lie detector testCopy !req
399. to eliminate any uncertainty
about what happened with my husband.Copy !req
400. Sure you don't want a lawyer present?Copy !req
401. I'll waive all that. My only stipulation
is that I want my childrenCopy !req
402. to be able to see me
answer the questions.Copy !req
403. I think we can accommodate you.Copy !req
404. Is your name Bree Van De Kamp?Copy !req
405. Yes.Copy !req
406. Were you married to Rex Van De Kamp?Copy !req
407. Yes.Copy !req
408. Did you and your husband
temporarily separate last year?Copy !req
409. Yes.Copy !req
410. Did you kill your husband?Copy !req
411. No.Copy !req
412. Do you know a man
named George Williams?Copy !req
413. Yes.Copy !req
414. During your separation
from your husband,Copy !req
415. did you have a relationship
with Mr Williams?Copy !req
416. What does that have to do with anything?Copy !req
417. Just yes or no responses, please.Copy !req
418. Well, I'm not gonna respond to something
that's none of your business.Copy !req
419. Mrs Van De Kamp, if you want us
to take this polygraph seriously,Copy !req
420. answer the questions we ask. OK?Copy !req
421. Who's George Williams?Copy !req
422. He's our pharmacist.Copy !req
423. During your separation, did you have
a relationship with Mr Williams?Copy !req
424. Yes.Copy !req
425. Are you in love with Mr Williams?Copy !req
426. - What?
- Are you in love with Mr Williams?Copy !req
427. No.Copy !req
428. Um, I... I was thinking
of something else just then.Copy !req
429. So why don't you
ask me the question again.Copy !req
430. Are you in love with Mr Williams?Copy !req
431. No.Copy !req
432. Did you see that?Copy !req
433. Yeah. I saw it.Copy !req
434. Hello, Susan.
Are you ready for your lesson?Copy !req
435. Yep. I am. I think I'm gonna make
another push for using that pedal.Copy !req
436. I think it adds grandeur.Copy !req
437. - I wanna talk to you.
- I'm busy now.Copy !req
438. I cannot believe you kicked Edie
out of Julie's performance!Copy !req
439. I did not kick Edie out.
Julie made that call.Copy !req
440. Because you played the "mom" card!Copy !req
441. Well, it is a family recital,
and Edie is not family.Copy !req
442. - One day she could be.
- Don't even joke like that.Copy !req
443. How about your
plumberlconvicted murderer, huh?Copy !req
444. He seems to keep popping up
at "family" events.Copy !req
445. Not murder, it was manslaughter.
That's totally different.Copy !req
446. We don't live together.
He cares about Julie.Copy !req
447. So does Edie! She was really looking
forward to performing with Julie.Copy !req
448. If you think Edie Britt cares
about anybody other than herself,Copy !req
449. you are living in a fool's paradise.
You don't know her the way I do,Copy !req
450. and the only reason she's interested
in Julie is to mess with my head.Copy !req
451. Hey, that's both crazy
and self-absorbed.Copy !req
452. That's a twofer! Way to go!Copy !req
453. Whether you choose to believe it or not,
they're great together.Copy !req
454. And if you don't believe me, ask Julie.Copy !req
455. I'm sorry you had to witness that.Copy !req
456. Oh, it's OK, hon.Copy !req
457. I have lived my share
of family knockdown-dragouts.Copy !req
458. Well, I hope it wasn't
as ugly as me and Karl.Copy !req
459. You'd be surprised.Copy !req
460. Parker? Honey, can you hear me?Copy !req
461. Tom, why isn't he talking?Copy !req
462. There are a lot of kids here.
He's a little stressed.Copy !req
463. - Parker, say hi. Say hi.
- Mommy?Copy !req
464. Oh, hey, honey!Copy !req
465. This is so exciting!
Your first day of school.Copy !req
466. You're gonna make so many friends.Copy !req
467. Lynette. Staff meeting. Now.Copy !req
468. Right. Yeah. I'm gonna be right there.Copy !req
469. Now, now, now, now!Copy !req
470. Stu, this coffee is cold.Copy !req
471. Honey, I'm gonna be right back.Copy !req
472. Mommy, where are you going?Copy !req
473. Right back!Copy !req
474. Mommy, come back.Copy !req
475. OK, let's turn to page five.Copy !req
476. Damn! I forgot my prospectus.Copy !req
477. Any extra copies? No? Be right back.Copy !req
478. Hi, I'm back. How's he doing?Copy !req
479. Honey, he's upset because he wanted
to show you his cubby. You left.Copy !req
480. Oh, honey, I'm here. I'm here.
You can show me your cubby now.Copy !req
481. Nina found extra copies.
She wants you back now.Copy !req
482. OK... I'll be back
in two seconds, sweetie.Copy !req
483. Mommy, Mommy, don't go!Copy !req
484. So the big issue here
is second-quarter billing.Copy !req
485. - Where are you going?
- Ladies' room.Copy !req
486. - No.
- Nina, nature is calling.Copy !req
487. Lynette, hold it for ten minutes.
We have to get though this.Copy !req
488. What I'd like to do is trade out
the invoicing structure.Copy !req
489. Let's take a look at our graphs
on page ten, please.Copy !req
490. Lynette had been struggling
to balance her career and her family.Copy !req
491. She finally saw an opportunityCopy !req
492. to tip the scales in her favour.Copy !req
493. badgering clients with
invoices on short-term campaigns,Copy !req
494. - I say we bill on delivery.
- Yes!Copy !req
495. Bill on delivery! Yes!Copy !req
496. Are you having a seizure?Copy !req
497. No. No, I'm just... I'm very excited.Copy !req
498. It's a really good plan.Copy !req
499. Yeah.Copy !req
500. Now, what happened
on the Berman accountCopy !req
501. is that they were sent duplicate bills
by Tina and Ron in Accounting.Copy !req
502. And I'm not pointing any fingers,
but Tina, Ron,Copy !req
503. about walking in and seeing
all my lines lit up with disgruntled...Copy !req
504. Ow! Oh! Hot! Hot!Copy !req
505. Help! Stu!Copy !req
506. That's why we packed you
extra cookies, so you could shareCopy !req
507. - with all your new friends. Remember?
- I think we're good to go now.Copy !req
508. You're gonna be great, Parker.
I love you.Copy !req
509. I love you too, Mommy.Copy !req
510. Bree. Hi! What can I do for you?Copy !req
511. For starters,
you can help me prove to the policeCopy !req
512. that we didn't conspire
to kill my husband.Copy !req
513. OK.Copy !req
514. With the anomalies
in Rex's blood,Copy !req
515. the police wondered
if I'd been poisoning Rex.Copy !req
516. Absurd. Lots of things
can cause high potassium levels.Copy !req
517. Renal failure, low sodium...Copy !req
518. That's why I took the polygraph,
to prove to them I was innocent.Copy !req
519. Obviously, you passed.Copy !req
520. Uh... sort of.Copy !req
521. I think the police
now have a different theory,Copy !req
522. which is, if I wasn't
poisoning Rex on my own,Copy !req
523. then maybe... you were helping me.Copy !req
524. - You're kidding.
- No.Copy !req
525. That's why I need you
to take the polygraph too.Copy !req
526. W-What?Copy !req
527. It's the quickest way
to prove the police are wrong.Copy !req
528. I don't understand. We're just friends.Copy !req
529. Why would the police assume
that people in a platonic relationshipCopy !req
530. would want to murder someone?Copy !req
531. Um...Copy !req
532. Um, during the test, they asked me
some questions about youCopy !req
533. and, um... us
and whether we had a relationship.Copy !req
534. And I said yes, because it's true.Copy !req
535. And then they asked me something else.
Something I hadn't considered.Copy !req
536. Which was?Copy !req
537. They asked me if I loved you.Copy !req
538. What did you say?Copy !req
539. I said, "No."Copy !req
540. Oh.Copy !req
541. But according to the polygraph,
that wasn't exactly true.Copy !req
542. Well, I don't...
I don't know if that means anything.Copy !req
543. Polygraphs aren't completely reliable.Copy !req
544. I think, perhaps,
the machine picked up on something.Copy !req
545. Something that I wasn't aware of.Copy !req
546. Wow.Copy !req
547. That's why I need you to take the test
and answer the detective's questions.Copy !req
548. I'm not gonna know exactly how
I feel until we put this behind us.Copy !req
549. - But then once we do...
- We can move on.Copy !req
550. Can those Cicarelli sisters dance
or what? Wow, look out Broadway.Copy !req
551. Don't forget that we
will have cookies and juiceCopy !req
552. set up in the basement
after we're done here.Copy !req
553. We want to see you all there.
And for our next act,Copy !req
554. please welcome the musical stylings
of Julie and Susan Mayer.Copy !req
555. Whoo!Copy !req
556. I'll be right back.Copy !req
557. Oh, I'm just gonna need
a couple of seconds.Copy !req
558. So feel free to pray.Copy !req
559. Edie, the other day, when I saw you
making music with my family,Copy !req
560. I got a little jealous, and I went
a little crazy, and I pushed you out.Copy !req
561. Seeing you sitting here today...Copy !req
562. Well, I can see how much
you care about Julie,Copy !req
563. and she comes first.Copy !req
564. And it should be you up there
playing with her and not me.Copy !req
565. So... I'm sorry.Copy !req
566. Thank you, Susan.Copy !req
567. How convenient that you decided this
after I showed up without my guitar.Copy !req
568. Well, like I said, I'm sorry.Copy !req
569. I wish it could be you up there.Copy !req
570. You know, I play piano.Copy !req
571. And so let's all welcome Julie Mayer
and her Aunt Edie.Copy !req
572. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
573. You did a good thing.Copy !req
574. Yeah. Well, I try.Copy !req
575. Uhh! Gimme a break.
This thing has like 90 flats in it.Copy !req
576. Poor Julie.Copy !req
577. Stop it. You're loving this.Copy !req
578. No. Not at all.Copy !req
579. Open up.Copy !req
580. So they said you needed to see me.Copy !req
581. What is it? What's going on?Copy !req
582. Um...Copy !req
583. I've been thinking.Copy !req
584. You know, about, um...Copy !req
585. everything that happened with John.Copy !req
586. And...Copy !req
587. And, um...Copy !req
588. I was really selfish and stupid.Copy !req
589. And I'm sorry.Copy !req
590. I really am sorry.Copy !req
591. That's all I had to say, really.Copy !req
592. You know what?Copy !req
593. That is the best anniversary giftCopy !req
594. that you've ever given me.Copy !req
595. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
596. Actually, the one you
gave me is really nice too.Copy !req
597. Everyone enjoys a game
of make-believe now and then.Copy !req
598. Of course, the ways in
which we play can vary greatly.Copy !req
599. Sometimes we tell ourselves work
won't interfere with our family life.Copy !req
600. - Lynette, staff meeting. Now.
- Yeah.Copy !req
601. Sometimes we imagine
certain relationshipsCopy !req
602. to be more meaningful
than they really are.Copy !req
603. Occasionally, we put on a show,Copy !req
604. as if to convince ourselves our secretsCopy !req
605. aren't really all that terrible.Copy !req
606. Yes, the game of make-believe
is a simple one.Copy !req
607. Did you know Rex Van De Kamp?Copy !req
608. Yes.Copy !req
609. Did Mrs Van De Kamp
ask you to poison her husband?Copy !req
610. No.Copy !req
611. Did you poison Rex Van De Kamp?Copy !req
612. You start by lying to yourself.Copy !req
613. No.Copy !req
614. And if you can get others
to believe those lies...Copy !req
615. you win.Copy !req