1. Previously on... Desperate housewivesCopy !req
2. sounds to me as if someone'slet go of his rage.Copy !req
3. - Maybe I have.
- Well,I haven'T.Copy !req
4. Felicia took matters into her own hands.Copy !req
5. You want me to call off the wedding,I'll do it.Copy !req
6. I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
7. Karl put the ball in susan's court...Copy !req
8. with your D.U.I. Charge, it could get ugly.Copy !req
9. While andrew tried to take bree to court...Copy !req
10. - there's a father.
- He's a kid!Copy !req
11. Gabrielle and carlos took the baby...Copy !req
12. the papers aren't valid anymore.Copy !req
13. Do you really wanna leave this beautiful little girlCopy !req
14. with that white trash freak show?Copy !req
15. And ran with it.Copy !req
16. louisa pate believed in the power of shame.Copy !req
17. As a teacher, she had found that the best way to control unruly studentsCopy !req
18. was to instill a strong sense of shame...Copy !req
19. in their parents.Copy !req
20. I left trisha alonewith the school hamster for only five minutes.Copy !req
21. In this boxis all that's left of patches.Copy !req
22. For show and tell, timmy decidedto bring in somethingCopy !req
23. from your husband's collection of nazi memorabilia.Copy !req
24. Billy's been threateningto beat up the other kids for their milk money.Copy !req
25. We found the proceedsin his cubby.Copy !req
26. Of course, mrs. Pate also knew when it came to unruly children,Copy !req
27. some parents had more reason to be ashamed...Copy !req
28. than others.Copy !req
29. So, um...Copy !req
30. your message saidthat parker had been involved in
some sortof serious incident.Copy !req
31. What—what kindof incident?Copy !req
32. Yesterday afternoon,Copy !req
33. parker offered a cookieto cindy lou peeples
if she wouldshow him her vagina.Copy !req
34. What kind of cookie?Copy !req
35. What does that matter?Copy !req
36. Oh, it doesn't.Copy !req
37. I'm just stallingCopy !req
38. becausel am completely mortified.Copy !req
39. The kids were in a broom closet.Copy !req
40. Our janitor walked in on them just as cindy was lifting up her pinafore.Copy !req
41. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
42. I'm sure you've noticedhow obsessive parker can be.Copy !req
43. A certain subjectwill catch his interest,Copy !req
44. and that's all he'll talk aboutfor weeks and weeks.Copy !req
45. Oh,right. That happened with dinosaurs.Copy !req
46. Oh,yes, we all rememberhis dinosaur phase.Copy !req
47. More fondly now than ever.Copy !req
48. so you think that now he's obsessed with...Copy !req
49. what's underneaththe pinafore. Yes.Copy !req
50. Look,I thinkhe's just developed a normal curiosityabout the human body.Copy !req
51. You need to talk to him.Copy !req
52. Remind him what's appropriateand what isn'T.Copy !req
53. Of course.I will talk to him.Copy !req
54. I'll talk to himtill I'm blue in the face.Copy !req
55. I promise.Copy !req
56. Take care.Copy !req
57. Yes, louisa pate believed in the power of shame.Copy !req
58. She always believed, when someone has that power...Copy !req
59. so, mrs. Peeples,Copy !req
60. you'll never guess what your daughter is willingto do for a gingersnap.Copy !req
61. It's a shame not to use it.Copy !req
62. www.ydy.com/bbs
Proudly PresentsCopy !req
63. YTET-Starry
- ==www.ydy.com/bbs==-Copy !req
64. Desperate housewives
Season 2 Episode 19Copy !req
65. It had been six weeksCopy !req
66. since andrew van de kamp had declared warCopy !req
67. on his mother bree.Copy !req
68. The final battle was about to be waged at the fairview county courthouse.Copy !req
69. Bree knew it was about to get bloody.Copy !req
70. What she didn't know was...Copy !req
71. the calvary was on its way...Copy !req
72. bree?Copy !req
73. Whether she wanted them there or not.Copy !req
74. Eleanor!Copy !req
75. Oh, thank god I found you.Copy !req
76. This place is a maze.Copy !req
77. What are you doing here?Copy !req
78. Well, your father and I got a call last night from danielle,Copy !req
79. and she said that andrew was taking you to court.Copy !req
80. I mean, to say that we were shocked would be an understatement.Copy !req
81. Hello,I'm eleanor mason,Copy !req
82. bree's stepmother.Copy !req
83. You're the lawyer? We should talk.Copy !req
84. Uh, no,I'm not her lawyer.Copy !req
85. Good. The hair had me worried.Copy !req
86. Peter is mom's sponsor from A.A.Copy !req
87. Oh, sweetie!Copy !req
88. since when are you in A.A.?Copy !req
89. It's a recent development. Where's dad?Copy !req
90. In chambers with the judge.Copy !req
91. What? Why?Copy !req
92. Everything is fine.Copy !req
93. The judge agreed to a postponement.Copy !req
94. Oh, thank god!Copy !req
95. Luckily, he remembered me.Copy !req
96. I spoke once at his law school.Copy !req
97. Pardon me, sir,Copy !req
98. I'm your daughter's lawyer.Copy !req
99. Just so you know, we've been waiting for this hearing for weeks,Copy !req
100. son,I've been an attorney for 45 years.Copy !req
101. You and I both know how these cases can turn into public spectacles.Copy !req
102. Our family is perfectly capable of handling thisCopy !req
103. - ... in house.
- Dad, you don't understand.Copy !req
104. This has gotten really ugly.Copy !req
105. That's why we're here.Copy !req
106. We're gonna put this family back together.Copy !req
107. Whatever it takes.Copy !req
108. and that's when mr. And mrs. Solis,Copy !req
109. fearing for the welfare of this helpless child,Copy !req
110. fled the hospital.Copy !req
111. You mean, they kidnapped her.Copy !req
112. Well,technically, that's true, butCopy !req
113. given the situation that led up to the rescue...Copy !req
114. kidnapping.Copy !req
115. Your honor, yes,Copy !req
116. in retrospect, the plan was a little bit rash, not entirely well thought out.Copy !req
117. Idiotic.Copy !req
118. can we object to that?Copy !req
119. But the child is safe, your honor.Copy !req
120. And all we ask the court is to allow baby lilyCopy !req
121. a lifetime of the care and love she has been receivingCopy !req
122. from the solises.Copy !req
123. As much as your story tugs at my heart,Copy !req
124. there is the issue of parental rights.Copy !req
125. What does the state have to say about this?Copy !req
126. We have located the biological father— mr. Dale helm.Copy !req
127. Unfortunately,uh, circumstances require that he be out of town.Copy !req
128. He's in fort lauderdale today.Copy !req
129. On business?Copy !req
130. Spring break, actually.Copy !req
131. Mr. Helm is a high school student.Copy !req
132. Charming.Copy !req
133. In between keg stands,Copy !req
134. did the father happen to mention if he plans to waive parental rights?Copy !req
135. I've left a number of voice mails,Copy !req
136. but the only response I've gotten is a text messageCopy !req
137. that saysCopy !req
138. this "blows his mind" and he's extremely "bummed out."Copy !req
139. All right...Copy !req
140. mr. And mrs. Solis,Copy !req
141. since you actually want lily,Copy !req
142. it seems you're the lesser of two evils.Copy !req
143. I'm granting you temporary custody untilCopy !req
144. we can get a straight answer from the birth father.Copy !req
145. Thank you,Copy !req
146. uh, your honor.Copy !req
147. In the meantime, try not to steal any more babies.Copy !req
148. Oh, we just needed the one.Copy !req
149. sweetie?Copy !req
150. Um, could you put the crayons down for a second?Copy !req
151. We need to talk.Copy !req
152. So I spoke to your teacher today,Copy !req
153. and she told me about the...Copy !req
154. cookie deal you made with cindy lou.Copy !req
155. Oh. Are you mad?Copy !req
156. no, not exactly.Copy !req
157. I'm just...Copy !req
158. I'm trying to understand why you...Copy !req
159. did that.Copy !req
160. Tommy keenan told me babies come from down there.Copy !req
161. It doesn't sound right to me.Copy !req
162. Well...Copy !req
163. actually, he's kinda right. He's got the concept down.Copy !req
164. That's weird.Copy !req
165. How's a baby get in there?Copy !req
166. Daddy will be home from his business trip in a few days.Copy !req
167. Why don't you wait for him?Copy !req
168. - Okay. - Okay.Copy !req
169. Or I can ask tommy's brother.Copy !req
170. He's 14,Copy !req
171. and he knows everything.Copy !req
172. And then the mommy and the daddy,Copy !req
173. because they love each other so much,Copy !req
174. they hug.Copy !req
175. Real tight.Copy !req
176. And, uh,a seed is magically implanted.Copy !req
177. and nine months later...Copy !req
178. a baby is born. Here.Copy !req
179. What kind of seed?Copy !req
180. Oh, that's not important.Copy !req
181. I don't believe you.Copy !req
182. Parker,I'm your mother.Copy !req
183. Mothers don't lie to their sons.Copy !req
184. Now go wash your hands or santa's not gonna bring youanything for christmas.Copy !req
185. I just saw edie drive off.Copy !req
186. How long is she gonna be gone?Copy !req
187. I don't know. She just went to show a house.Copy !req
188. Move.Copy !req
189. What's the problem?Copy !req
190. You mauled mein edie's bed last night.Copy !req
191. I think that deservesa conversation.Copy !req
192. Well, what's there to talkabout? I'm just a fool in love.Copy !req
193. Oh,no! You don't mean that.Copy !req
194. Yes,I do.Copy !req
195. Look,I realizemy timing's a little off.Copy !req
196. a little?Copy !req
197. Ugh...Copy !req
198. the helium hasn't evengone out of the balloons from your engagement party.Copy !req
199. okay...Copy !req
200. when are you gonna tell edie?Copy !req
201. Tell her what?Copy !req
202. - That the wedding's off.
- Is it?Copy !req
203. - Well, isn't it?
- It's up to you.Copy !req
204. Are... are you saying...Copy !req
205. that you're gonnago through with this wedding...Copy !req
206. unless I tell you not to?Copy !req
207. Just give me a commitment, susie Q.,Copy !req
208. And I'll put a bullet in edie.Copy !req
209. This is insane!Copy !req
210. Come on.Copy !req
211. All thiscan be yours again.Copy !req
212. Just say the word...Copy !req
213. and I let go.Copy !req
214. Oh,no!No, don't you dare!Copy !req
215. You know you want me to. Just say it, susie Q.Copy !req
216. You're...Copy !req
217. sick!Copy !req
218. zach,I'm going to the drugstore.Copy !req
219. I'll be back in 20 minutes.Copy !req
220. Whoa! Oh!Copy !req
221. paul?Copy !req
222. I was making cookies, and iheard the most sickening thud.Copy !req
223. Are you okay?Copy !req
224. There'S...Copy !req
225. shortening on my doorstep.Copy !req
226. Shortening?Copy !req
227. That's the last thingyou'd want on your front porch.Copy !req
228. It's meant for baking.Copy !req
229. She's so adorableCopy !req
230. and I just love the name LilyCopy !req
231. it wasmy grandmother's name.Copy !req
232. So how you holding up? You must be exhausted.Copy !req
233. You know,I'm a little tired, but it's not too bad.Copy !req
234. Oh, wait a couple months. She'll startsleeping through the night.Copy !req
235. Oh,honey,please.Do I look like a masochist?Copy !req
236. Firs thing tomorrow,I'm hiringa nanny and a night nurse.Copy !req
237. No, we're not.Copy !req
238. my husband, the comedian.Copy !req
239. I'm serious. I don't wantsome stranger raising our baby.Copy !req
240. Well, you guys are busy. We should go.Copy !req
241. No, it's okay.I'll win this battle later.Copy !req
242. We are not gonna besome yuppie couple pawning off our kid on otherpeople.Copy !req
243. - End of discussion. - Yeah, you should go.Copy !req
244. Yeah.Okay, bye.Copy !req
245. Good luck.Copy !req
246. put down the burrito.Copy !req
247. What is all this crapabout me not getting help?Copy !req
248. Look,a brand-new babyneeds to bond with its mother.Copy !req
249. The church knows it, scienceknows it, nature knows it.Copy !req
250. We have the money. What is wrongwith getting a little help?Copy !req
251. Then I'll be ableto relax once in a while,Copy !req
252. and I'll be ableto be a better mother.Copy !req
253. You wanna bea better mother?Copy !req
254. Do what my mam* did—Copy !req
255. make sacrifices.Copy !req
256. My mam* worked her fingers to the bone for me.Copy !req
257. And that's what put herin an early grave!Copy !req
258. Well, thatand the hit-and-run thing.Copy !req
259. look,I don't know whyyou want to be emancipated,Copy !req
260. and I don't know what you'vebeen doing to drive him crazy.Copy !req
261. Bottom line—Copy !req
262. it's over.Copy !req
263. It's now time for you twoto kiss and make up.Copy !req
264. And just howare we supposed to do that?Copy !req
265. Here's a thought...Copy !req
266. just look each otherin the eye and say,Copy !req
267. "I forgive you."Copy !req
268. that's your solution?Copy !req
269. It's actuallya technique invented by this dutch therapist.Copy !req
270. I saw him on tv.Copy !req
271. He says, if you verbalize forgiveness,Copy !req
272. the brain can trick the heartinto letting go of resentment.Copy !req
273. It really works. I did itwith our cleaning lady.Copy !req
274. Um,I'm sorry,dad, but I thinkmy relationship with andrewCopy !req
275. - is just a bit more complicatedthan—
- would it kill youto at least try?Copy !req
276. I'll do it...Copy !req
277. for you, grandpa.Copy !req
278. That's my boy.Copy !req
279. Bree?Copy !req
280. Fine!Copy !req
281. Yes, um...Copy !req
282. so,um, who goes first?Copy !req
283. Either or. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
284. Mom,Copy !req
285. I forgive you.Copy !req
286. Andrew,Copy !req
287. I forgive you.Copy !req
288. That wasn't so hard, was it?Copy !req
289. Now don't expectto feel differently right away.Copy !req
290. It takes a while.Copy !req
291. It took me a weekto forgive esperanza.Copy !req
292. But now she's like family again.Copy !req
293. Family who stole from us.Copy !req
294. So let's get backto the way we were,Copy !req
295. and forget all this nonsenseabout emancipation.Copy !req
296. Um...Copy !req
297. well, grandpa,I'm—I'm stillgonna need my trust fund.Copy !req
298. You see,I-I can't live in a place where I...Copy !req
299. I don't feel safe.Copy !req
300. What are you talking about?Copy !req
301. Well, could you livewith a woman who hits you?Copy !req
302. - Bree!
- I slapped him once, and he deserved it.Copy !req
303. Well,I just asked herto stop drinking.Copy !req
304. You were drinking?Copy !req
305. She's in A.A. Her sponsor has long hair.Copy !req
306. Andrew,I find your concern ironic,Copy !req
307. given how tanked you werewhen you ran over our neighbor's motherwith your car.Copy !req
308. Is she okay?Copy !req
309. She's dead!Copy !req
310. Well...Copy !req
311. mom watched as her boyfriendcommitted suicide.Copy !req
312. And he was the same guy who killed dad!Copy !req
313. Andrew falsely accused meof molestation...Copy !req
314. in a mall!Copy !req
315. You know, the technique works best if you don't talk right away.Copy !req
316. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
317. I don't wannabe late for the movie.Copy !req
318. Oh, those are pretty. Who sent those?Copy !req
319. What?Copy !req
320. "Say the word and I'm yours.Love, karl."Copy !req
321. Mom,I knew this would happen when you started hanging around together,Copy !req
322. all of your old feeling sresurfacing.Copy !req
323. No, his feelings.Copy !req
324. He's the one with the feelings, not me.Copy !req
325. Uh-huh.Copy !req
326. Okay, don't "uh-huh" me. You'renot old enough to do that.Copy !req
327. Oh,no?Well, how do you like this—Copy !req
328. I'm not gonna go to the movies with you.Copy !req
329. You're gonna make mego by myself?Copy !req
330. Well, you could alwaysask dad to go.Copy !req
331. In fact, if you love him so much, why don't you marry him?Copy !req
332. Oh,wait, you already did. Twice.Copy !req
333. Oh, you know what? I think we're gonna needsome napkins with this.Copy !req
334. Oh, okay,I'll go back.Copy !req
335. Thanks.Copy !req
336. My ex-boyfriend's here. If he sees me alone,I'll die.Copy !req
337. I'm begging you,please, act like you know me.Copy !req
338. Susan? Hey!Copy !req
339. Mike, hi! what a surprise.Copy !req
340. How are ya? Good.Copy !req
341. Oh! God,I—I'm being so rude.Copy !req
342. Um, mike,I-I want you to meet...Copy !req
343. orson hodge.Copy !req
344. Nice to meet you, mike.Copy !req
345. Wow,I can't believe I'm finally seeingthe man himself in the flesh.Copy !req
346. So... how'd you two meet?Copy !req
347. Oh, god,I've beenher dentist for years.Copy !req
348. but last week,I was looking in her mouthCopy !req
349. and decidedto stick my tongue in it.Copy !req
350. I'll see ya, susan.Copy !req
351. thank you so muchfor helping me out.Copy !req
352. Hey,I'm great in a crisis.Copy !req
353. well,I definitely pickedthe right person to sit next to.Copy !req
354. Actually, is this seat taken?Copy !req
355. - No.
- Okay, you can sharemy popcorn.Copy !req
356. Um, susan...Copy !req
357. this is becky.Copy !req
358. I'll probably be sharing her popcorn.Copy !req
359. I'll just waittill the lights go out, and then I'll...Copy !req
360. while I get this going, can you bring out the buns?Copy !req
361. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
362. - what the hell?- You all right?Copy !req
363. This isn't lighter fluid.It's gasoline.Copy !req
364. What?Copy !req
365. How'd that get in there?Copy !req
366. How do you think?Copy !req
367. Something smells goodover there.Copy !req
368. Well,I don't understand.Copy !req
369. Is she trying to kill you?Copy !req
370. No, she's tryingto piss me off.Copy !req
371. Why?Copy !req
372. I'm not sure yet,Copy !req
373. but I do knowl'm not gonna play along.Copy !req
374. We got plenty of burgersif you want to pop over.Copy !req
375. And bring your appetite.Copy !req
376. gaby, the baby.Copy !req
377. No,I got up twice already.It's your turn.Copy !req
378. Gaby,I have severaljob interviews tomorrow. I need my sleep.Copy !req
379. What about my sleep?Copy !req
380. You sleepwhen the baby sleeps.Copy !req
381. Every 40 minutes? When am I supposedto have a life?Copy !req
382. What are you whining about?Copy !req
383. You know, xiao-mei doesall the housework around here.Copy !req
384. All you have to dois take care of the baby.Copy !req
385. Fine,fine, fine!Copy !req
386. xiao-mei.Copy !req
387. wake up.Copy !req
388. Mrs. Solis?Copy !req
389. Something wrong?Copy !req
390. the baby won't stop crying, and I haven't sleptfor two days.Copy !req
391. Will you please take lily for a while?Copy !req
392. oh, come on. I won't make youdo windows tomorrow.Copy !req
393. Okay.Copy !req
394. What do I do?Copy !req
395. Well, she's a baby.You hold her.Copy !req
396. You bounce her and, I don't know, maybe sing a little something.Copy !req
397. Ahh.Copy !req
398. Oh, and xiao-mei,Copy !req
399. mr. Solis does not need to know about this, okay?Copy !req
400. - Okay. - Okay.Copy !req
401. yeah,honey, can youtake that downstairs?Copy !req
402. Thank you.Copy !req
403. Eleanor,I thought you'd gone to bed.Copy !req
404. Oh,no, not yet.I had to do my hair now.Copy !req
405. There's never enough timein the morning.Copy !req
406. Uh, sit.Copy !req
407. There's somethingl have to discuss with you.Copy !req
408. Your father and ihave decided to take andrew back to rhode islandwith us.Copy !req
409. Really?Copy !req
410. And whose idea was that?Copy !req
411. Andrew'S.Copy !req
412. But henry and I feelit's the right thing to do.Copy !req
413. Absolutely not.Copy !req
414. If we leave him here,Copy !req
415. the two of youwill wind up in court,Copy !req
416. and I'm not going to allow that.Copy !req
417. Do you really think that I am enjoying airingmy dirty laundry in public?Copy !req
418. This whole situationis mortifying.Copy !req
419. But I can't back downbecause he is my son,Copy !req
420. and I need more timeto get through to him.Copy !req
421. You never give up.Copy !req
422. I've always admired thatabout you.Copy !req
423. When you were a kid,Copy !req
424. you used to makethese peanut butter cookies that were god-awful.Copy !req
425. But you kept baking them,Copy !req
426. and you kept forcing everyoneto eat them.Copy !req
427. you were so determinedto get them right.Copy !req
428. My mother didn't thinkthey were awful.Copy !req
429. When I made those same cookiesfor her,Copy !req
430. she loved them.Copy !req
431. Well, some peoplepraise children even whenthey don't deserve it.Copy !req
432. Oh, but not you.Copy !req
433. With you,I had to work forevery kind word I ever got.Copy !req
434. Well, you always resented mebecause of my high standards.Copy !req
435. No.Copy !req
436. I resented you because those were kick-asspeanut butter cookies.Copy !req
437. We're taking andrew.Copy !req
438. Eleanor, please...Copy !req
439. he hates you, bree.Copy !req
440. Your own son.Copy !req
441. You know, part of being an adult is admittingCopy !req
442. that you've failed, and then moving on...Copy !req
443. with grace.Copy !req
444. Do you really think that I ama failure as a parent?Copy !req
445. well,I'd love to lieand say something supportive,Copy !req
446. but as you pointed out,Copy !req
447. that was moreyour mother's thing.Copy !req
448. Xiao-mei?Copy !req
449. So sorry.I just take break.Copy !req
450. Oh,no,xiao-mei, that's okay.Copy !req
451. That's okay. I know you were up all nightwith the baby,Copy !req
452. and I reallyappreciate it.Copy !req
453. You know,I'm very grateful for everythingyou've been doing for lily.Copy !req
454. So to thank you,I bought youa gift certificate to my spa.Copy !req
455. And you can take a whole day offand just really pamper yourself.Copy !req
456. - Really?- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
457. Thank you!Copy !req
458. Oh, thank you!Copy !req
459. Oh, you're welcome.Copy !req
460. All right, lily needsto be bathed and put to bed.Copy !req
461. I don't wanna missmy yoga class.Copy !req
462. Hi. Hi, pretty girl.Copy !req
463. Oh,yes, mommy has to go.Copy !req
464. Mommy has to go,Copy !req
465. so she can stay pretty and thinand you can be proud of her.Copy !req
466. motherhoodis such a blessing.Copy !req
467. I hope you getto experience it one day.Copy !req
468. becauseit's not a big deal!Copy !req
469. - "it's not a big deal"? Okay!
- It's not that far away.Copy !req
470. - Right. Oh, it's notthat far away?
- Dude,it—whatever, okay?Copy !req
471. You didn't even care to tell me before? Bye.Copy !req
472. justin, what happened?Copy !req
473. Andrew just told me he'smoving in with his grandparents.Copy !req
474. They live so far away, I'm never gonnasee him anymore.Copy !req
475. I'm so sorry. I know that you're good friends.Copy !req
476. We're more than friends, mrs. Van de kamp.Copy !req
477. I love him.Copy !req
478. Oh.Copy !req
479. Why?Copy !req
480. Why?Copy !req
481. Yes.I'd be curious to know just what it isyou see in him.Copy !req
482. Well, when my parentsfirst heard I was gay, they kicked me out.Copy !req
483. They said I had debasedthe entire familyCopy !req
484. and that they couldn'tlove me anymore until I changed.Copy !req
485. But andrew—Copy !req
486. he said that I should be ashamed of them,Copy !req
487. 'cause they were too stupidto know how great I was.Copy !req
488. That's the thingabout andrew.Copy !req
489. He doesn't take crapfrom anyone. How can you notlove someone like that?Copy !req
490. You know, it never ceases to amaze meCopy !req
491. how people can turn their backson their own family.Copy !req
492. I mean—but it happensevery day, doesn't it?Copy !req
493. I guess.Copy !req
494. You know,justin, if youwould be willing to help,Copy !req
495. I'm pretty sure that I could find a wayto keep andrew from moving.Copy !req
496. What do you say?Copy !req
497. I'm home.Copy !req
498. - Oh, hi. - Hey, mrs. Mccluskey.Copy !req
499. So how did everything go?Copy !req
500. Fine.Copy !req
501. Penny fussed a bit.Copy !req
502. I think her molars are coming in.Copy !req
503. Oh.Copy !req
504. And the twinsfought over the remote. There's nothing new there.Copy !req
505. No.Copy !req
506. here's the big news—Copy !req
507. parker offered me a fudgsicleif I would show him my vagina.Copy !req
508. Oh, good god,lynette, relax.I didn't do it.Copy !req
509. I just got thisout of the freezer a second ago.Copy !req
510. Uh, yeah. Of course.No, sorry.Copy !req
511. Apparently, parker wanted to puta sunflower seed inside meCopy !req
512. and see if a baby would grow.Copy !req
513. Where do kids get this stuff?Copy !req
514. Oh... that was me.Copy !req
515. He was asking aboutthe birds and the bees, and ICopy !req
516. fudgeda few of the details.Copy !req
517. Well, he's only 7 years old.Copy !req
518. I don't think he needsto know everything yet.Copy !req
519. I don't wanna rob himof his innocence.Copy !req
520. Well,now, that's where you're wrong.Copy !req
521. You get 'emwhen they're young.Copy !req
522. Give themall the gory details.Copy !req
523. And then when they're goodand disgusted, you shame 'em.Copy !req
524. Excuse me?Copy !req
525. You tell themsex is dirty and wrong and he shouldn'ttalk about it,Copy !req
526. and if he does, he's going straight to hell.Copy !req
527. that is ridiculous.Copy !req
528. Spoken likea true liberal idiot.Copy !req
529. No,I'm notgonna shame my son.Copy !req
530. Mm,I'm telling ya, it works.Copy !req
531. It keeps peoplein their place,Copy !req
532. it keeps parentsfrom being humiliated,Copy !req
533. and it keeps me fromhaving to spend the afternoon talking about my woo-woo.Copy !req
534. In your haste to duck out beforethe credits rolled, you...Copy !req
535. oh, my god!Oh, thank you so much.Copy !req
536. I stuck a card in there,Copy !req
537. just in case you ever wanted to purposely sit next to meat a movie, so...Copy !req
538. orson,I'm flattered.Uh, really.Copy !req
539. you—you don't wanna date me.Copy !req
540. I-I mean, my love life is justso complicated right now.Copy !req
541. Well... no,I won't bore youwith the details.Copy !req
542. So the ex-boyfriend has no ideayou're secretly married to the ex-husband,Copy !req
543. who still loves you,Copy !req
544. but unless you give hima reason not to,Copy !req
545. is gonna marrythe neighborhood slut?Copy !req
546. Did I call edie a slut?Copy !req
547. Well, that's overstating it. Edie's not a slut.Copy !req
548. She's just... popularwith indiscriminate men.Copy !req
549. Anyway...Copy !req
550. yes, those arethe relevant players.Copy !req
551. Okay.Copy !req
552. Now I'm absolutelyhorrified that I'm about to saywhat I'm about to say,Copy !req
553. but there's nobody else I cantalk to who won't judge me.Copy !req
554. And sinceyou're a complete stranger, I'll probablynever see you againCopy !req
555. unless I randomlyrun into you on the street,Copy !req
556. in which case, you'll ignore me'cause you know how crazy I am.Copy !req
557. So here goes...Copy !req
558. I'm having feelingsfor karl again.Copy !req
559. does that make mea terrible person?Copy !req
560. You wantmy unvarnished opinion?Copy !req
561. Lay it on me.Copy !req
562. It doesn't make youa terrible person,Copy !req
563. but it does make you A...Copy !req
564. well... a sucker.Copy !req
565. This karl's a coward.Copy !req
566. He wants you to be the heavyand take all the responsibility.Copy !req
567. If you're having feelingsfor a guy like that, I say runCopy !req
568. far, far away.Copy !req
569. He lives three houses down.Copy !req
570. Hmm.Well, good luck to you, then.Copy !req
571. but like I said, if you'reinterested in a tooth whitening,Copy !req
572. my card'sstill in your wallet.Copy !req
573. Xiao-mei?Copy !req
574. Xiao-mei?Copy !req
575. I'm late to meetmrs. Van de kamp.Copy !req
576. I'll be backin a little while.Copy !req
577. bree... I'm so sorry I'm late.Copy !req
578. Oh,honey, it's all right.Copy !req
579. I mean, with the new baby at home, I'm surprisedyou made it at all.Copy !req
580. Ooh,I'll have a drink. Anything with an umbrella.Copy !req
581. So tell me, how are you doing?Copy !req
582. I mean, your entire worldmust be turned upside down.Copy !req
583. You must be exhausted.Copy !req
584. You know, it's been challenging, but I-I soldier on.Copy !req
585. so what about you?You look so rested.Copy !req
586. I just got a massageat misty spring.Copy !req
587. Things have beena little tense at home, and I needed an hourto relax.Copy !req
588. Good for you.I love that spa.Copy !req
589. oh, by the way, while I was there, I saw your, uh,Copy !req
590. your housekeeper.Copy !req
591. Xiao-mei?Copy !req
592. Oh,no, you must be mistaken. I just left her.Copy !req
593. She's at home working.Copy !req
594. Are you sure? I was talkingto her in the steam room for about 20 minutes.Copy !req
595. - What? - Yeah,Copy !req
596. apparently you gave hera gift certificate.Copy !req
597. lily?Copy !req
598. Lily, mommy's coming!Copy !req
599. Oh, thank god!Oh, honey,I'm so sorry.Copy !req
600. I'm never gonnaleave you again. Oh!Copy !req
601. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
602. I'm home!Copy !req
603. My interview got canceled.Copy !req
604. oh, that's my little girl.Copy !req
605. Your chakra lining up nicefor mommy?Copy !req
606. That's my girl.Copy !req
607. hey, let me take her off your chest so you can do your yoga.Copy !req
608. No! No,no,no. We're doing just fine.Copy !req
609. Aren't we, lily?Copy !req
610. bridezilla's got meauditioning wedding bands,Copy !req
611. and I'm clueless aboutedie's taste in music.Copy !req
612. What do you thinkof these guys?Copy !req
613. That's why you brought me down here?Copy !req
614. Karl, you made it sound likeit was an emergency.Copy !req
615. It is! I need to have somebodyto dance withCopy !req
616. so I can see if these guys have the powerto help me get my groove on.Copy !req
617. Karl... uh-oh!Copy !req
618. Oh, that's right.Copy !req
619. You like it laid-backand romantic, don't you?Copy !req
620. Guys, can we playsomething mellow?Copy !req
621. No, don't bother,'cause I'm going.Copy !req
622. two...Copy !req
623. - you are so beautiful...
- that was nota coincidence.Copy !req
624. This was playingthe night we first kissed.Copy !req
625. it's our song. Remember?Copy !req
626. I remember.Copy !req
627. I also remember that you are planningon marrying someone else.Copy !req
628. Not if you don'twant me to.Copy !req
629. Come on, susie Q.Copy !req
630. I can see you stillhave feelings for me,Copy !req
631. and I know I havenever stopped loving you.Copy !req
632. Okay, you want the truth?Copy !req
633. I don't knowhow I feel about you,Copy !req
634. but I keep looking at you,Copy !req
635. trying to see if you've changed, if you've grown up.Copy !req
636. You know what I see?Copy !req
637. I see the same weak coward that walked out on methree years ago.Copy !req
638. Of course I've changed.Copy !req
639. I don't think so.Copy !req
640. so I think you shouldprobably stay with edie.Copy !req
641. and the band is good.Copy !req
642. You should hire 'em.Copy !req
643. what the hell?Copy !req
644. For god's sakes...Copy !req
645. what the hellare you doing in there?Copy !req
646. This is my house. What are you doing?Copy !req
647. We're tenting for termites. We got a work order.Copy !req
648. Signed by who?Copy !req
649. Paul...Copy !req
650. I've never been so embarrassedin my whole life.Copy !req
651. They're supposedto be tenting my house.Copy !req
652. I must've writtenthe address down wrong.Copy !req
653. muchachos, mi casa est* aqu?Copy !req
654. You've taken it too farthis time.Copy !req
655. These little mind gamesare gonna stopCopy !req
656. right now!Copy !req
657. and ifthey don't, whatcha gonna do?Copy !req
658. Blow out your brainslike your wife did?Copy !req
659. - ahh!
- hey, hey!Copy !req
660. - Hey, you okay?
- Did you hear that?Copy !req
661. He assaulted mefor an honest mistake.Copy !req
662. God knows what would've happenedif you hadn't been here.Copy !req
663. Let go!Copy !req
664. Dad,dad,dad. Come on.Copy !req
665. Come on. Come on, okay?Copy !req
666. I talked to mrs. Mccluskey, and for god's sakes, parker,Copy !req
667. you can't ask people things like that.Copy !req
668. Why?Copy !req
669. Because...Copy !req
670. it's rude.Copy !req
671. I said "please."Copy !req
672. Well, that doesn't matter!Copy !req
673. You gotta quit talkingto people about their bodies,Copy !req
674. and about where, you know, babies come from.Copy !req
675. - Why?
- because it's notan appropriate subject.Copy !req
676. Why?Copy !req
677. Because it's not.Copy !req
678. - Why? - Ugh!Copy !req
679. Because it's dirty and wrong, and I'll wash your mouth outwith soap! That's why.Copy !req
680. In that moment,Copy !req
681. lynette saw a look on her son's face she had never seen before...Copy !req
682. and she thought of the look he had on his faceCopy !req
683. when he had become obsessed with dinosaurs...Copy !req
684. obsessed with baseballCopy !req
685. and obsessed with trains.Copy !req
686. And it occurred to lynetteCopy !req
687. she didn't need to shame her son.Copy !req
688. All he needed was a brand-new obsession.Copy !req
689. But I thought you saidwe couldn't have a puppy.Copy !req
690. Well...Copy !req
691. it turns outwe really needed one.Copy !req
692. You can go and play.Copy !req
693. And though she didn't know it at the time,Copy !req
694. it would be another three yearsCopy !req
695. before parker scavo would ever ask about sex again.Copy !req
696. Karl. What's going on?Copy !req
697. Uh,I'm on my wayto a motel.Copy !req
698. I-I just wanted to let you know that the wedding is off.Copy !req
699. It is?Copy !req
700. I told ediel wasn't in love with her—Copy !req
701. at least, not in the waythat she deserves.Copy !req
702. Wow.Copy !req
703. Why did you changeyour mind?Copy !req
704. I mean,I hope it wasn't because of me, because I told you—Copy !req
705. it wasn't for you.Copy !req
706. No?Copy !req
707. You were right.Copy !req
708. I have been a coward.Copy !req
709. I was a coward three years agoCopy !req
710. when I walked out on the two most important peoplein my life.Copy !req
711. And I was being a cowardwith edie.Copy !req
712. I mean, to even consider marrying herCopy !req
713. when I know what real passionand real love feels like.Copy !req
714. Anyway,I-I-I just thoughtl'd let you know.Copy !req
715. Karl...Copy !req
716. you look pretty beat up.Copy !req
717. why—why don't you... why don't you come in and...Copy !req
718. we'll crack opena bottle of wine.Copy !req
719. Come on.Copy !req
720. All right, here we go.Copy !req
721. This is the lastof andrew's things.Copy !req
722. Once we tape up these boxes, we can start loading the car.Copy !req
723. I'm proud of you, bree.Copy !req
724. You're being awfully bigabout this.Copy !req
725. Well,I have to admit,I was a bit upset at first.Copy !req
726. But then it hit me.Copy !req
727. You're his grandparents. You should bond,Copy !req
728. get to know the real andrew.Copy !req
729. oh, dad,I-I forgot to warn you.Copy !req
730. These are someof andrew's adult videos.Copy !req
731. I don't approve, but boys will be boys.Copy !req
732. Oh,henry, stop looking at that filth.Copy !req
733. I don't get it.Copy !req
734. Where are the women?Copy !req
735. What are you talking about?Copy !req
736. This is all just a bunch of...Copy !req
737. naked men.Copy !req
738. Sweet mother of god. What the hell are they doing?Copy !req
739. I don't know, and I don'teven know what I'm looking at.Copy !req
740. Henry, this is pornographyfor ho-homosexuals.Copy !req
741. Oh, shoot! I wish youhadn't gone through that.Copy !req
742. Now we have to havean unpleasant conversation,Copy !req
743. and we were havingsuch a nice time.Copy !req
744. Bree, is...Copy !req
745. is andrew... gay?Copy !req
746. Oh,dad, andrew hates labels.Copy !req
747. I'm sure it's just a phase.Copy !req
748. Excuse me,Copy !req
749. but he has a magazine titled'leather daddies in love."Copy !req
750. That does not sound likea phase to me.Copy !req
751. Maybe not, but it's no longer my concern now that he'll be livingwith you.Copy !req
752. We have to havea serious talk.Copy !req
753. Let's don't freak outabout this.Copy !req
754. The dutch therapist says—Copy !req
755. forget the dutch therapist! In the kitchen!Copy !req
756. now!Copy !req
757. hey, where's grandma and grandpa?Copy !req
758. I need to startloading up my stuff.Copy !req
759. Oh,they,uh, they already left.Copy !req
760. Wait... they left?Copy !req
761. Without me?Copy !req
762. Uh,yeah, they wrote you a letter.Copy !req
763. It seems they came acrosssome personal items of yours that, um,Copy !req
764. upset them.Copy !req
765. They're taking awaymy trust fund?Copy !req
766. They can't do that!Copy !req
767. Well, actually they can.Copy !req
768. I mean, it's their money todispense with as they see fit.Copy !req
769. I knowit doesn't seem fair, but—Copy !req
770. no, it's really unfair. In fact, it sucks.Copy !req
771. What—what am I supposedto do now?Copy !req
772. Well, now that you can't affordto become emancipated,Copy !req
773. I guess you're gonnahave to stay here with me.Copy !req
774. Andrew, we can make this work.Copy !req
775. We just haveto let go of our anger.Copy !req
776. No.Copy !req
777. Oh,I,um, had a chance to have a nice chatwith justin the other day.Copy !req
778. He really seems very sweet.Copy !req
779. I've invited him overfor dinner tonight. I hope you don't mind.Copy !req
780. Now I wish I hadn'ttorched our wedding photos.Copy !req
781. who would've thought, after everythingthat's happened,Copy !req
782. that we would'veended up back here again?Copy !req
783. It's beenone hell of a ride, huh?Copy !req
784. Yeah.Copy !req
785. so how do you feel now?Copy !req
786. About us?Copy !req
787. I feel good.Copy !req
788. I feel happy.Copy !req
789. You're not havingsecond thoughts?Copy !req
790. I can't believe you actuallywant to talk about feelings.Copy !req
791. You really have changed.Copy !req
792. Hey, this is the new karl, baby.Copy !req
793. He's not afraid to cry.Copy !req
794. hello?Copy !req
795. oh,hi, edie.Copy !req
796. Uh...Copy !req
797. yeah, he's here.Copy !req
798. Hold on.Copy !req
799. how doesshe know you're here?Copy !req
800. I don't know.Copy !req
801. hi. Ahem.Copy !req
802. Yeah,I just came by to helpjulie with her civics homework.Copy !req
803. Uh-huh.Copy !req
804. Okay,I'll take care of it. What kind of juice do you want?Copy !req
805. Right. Bye, bye.Copy !req
806. Are you getting juicefor her?Copy !req
807. Yeah, just one carton.Copy !req
808. You rippedthe woman's heart out.Copy !req
809. Why would she want juicefrom you?Copy !req
810. Okay. Now don't freak out,Copy !req
811. but this breakup issort of a work in progress.Copy !req
812. She doesn't know?Copy !req
813. Will you calm down?I can explain.Copy !req
814. So if edie doesn't know, then that means that you just cheatedon her...Copy !req
815. with me!Copy !req
816. You made me the other woman!Copy !req
817. Please don't be angry.Copy !req
818. I tried to break up with her,Copy !req
819. but because I wasn't sureyou wanted me back,Copy !req
820. the words just wouldn'tcome out of my mouth.Copy !req
821. Now that I know thatyou want me and love me again,Copy !req
822. it's a done deal.Copy !req
823. get out of my house, you miserable son of a bitch!Copy !req
824. can't we talk about this?Copy !req
825. No, just get out! Get out!Copy !req
826. Susie, susie!Copy !req
827. Our marriage was garbage!Copy !req
828. - Stupid, disgusting pile of garbage!
- No,no, don't say that.Copy !req
829. And I regret everything that came of it! Don't do this right now.Copy !req
830. Ugh! Except you,honey.You're my rock.Copy !req
831. Ooh, out! Get out!Copy !req
832. I... ugh!Copy !req
833. I promise you I'm gonna break upwith edie and make this right.Copy !req
834. I'll call you when it's done.Copy !req
835. Don't bother!I won't pick up.Copy !req
836. we've all done something in our lives we're ashamed of.Copy !req
837. Some of us have fallen for the wrong man.Copy !req
838. Some have let go of the right woman.Copy !req
839. There are those who have humiliated their parents...Copy !req
840. and those who have failed their children.Copy !req
841. Yes, we've all made mistakes that diminish usCopy !req
842. and those we love.Copy !req
843. But there is redemptionCopy !req
844. if we try to learn from those mistakes...Copy !req