1. Desperate Housewives S02E16 2nd audio There Is No Other WayCopy !req
2. You put my kids
in danger and lied.Copy !req
3. - Do you have a problem with alcohol?
- Lynette asked a loaded question...Copy !req
4. I'm the one who was sleeping
with your son. But it's over now.Copy !req
5. No, you're wrong.
It's not even close to being over.Copy !req
6. Gabrielle confessed...
- Here's your mail.Copy !req
7. while Noah's search for Zach...Copy !req
8. I worry for that boy. What kind of
people would buy a baby from a junkie?Copy !req
9. played into Felicia's plot...Copy !req
10. See to it that Paul Young
has a toy chest of his very own.Copy !req
11. See to it that Paul Young
has a toy chest of his very own.Copy !req
12. for revenge.Copy !req
13. What made my husband,
Paul Young, such a good investorCopy !req
14. was his uncanny ability
to anticipate the future.Copy !req
15. Zach, how did you do this?Copy !req
16. He foresaw the necessity
of the Velcro shoe.Copy !req
17. He predicted the advent
of the three-dollar cup of coffee.Copy !req
18. He even anticipated
the surprising boom in bottled water.Copy !req
19. Yeah, it's Paul Young.Copy !req
20. I've been reading about
the election results in Brazil.Copy !req
21. It's time to buy sugar.Copy !req
22. But the crystal ball that served Paul
so well in the stock marketCopy !req
23. sometimes failed him closer to home.Copy !req
24. - Paul Young?
- Yeah.Copy !req
25. Detective Sullivan.
You need to come in for questioning.Copy !req
26. - About what?
- We're investigating reportsCopy !req
27. of credit card fraud. Your name has
been linked with several victims.Copy !req
28. There must be some mistake.Copy !req
29. Could be, but we still need
to go downtown and straighten it out.Copy !req
30. All right.Copy !req
31. - How long is this gonna take?
- Don't worry. It's just a mix-up.Copy !req
32. Let's go.Copy !req
33. What's going on?
I thought you wanted to ask questions.Copy !req
34. - That's after you're booked.
- Booked? Booked for what?Copy !req
35. You can't book him here,
anyhow, detective.Copy !req
36. Computers are down. We're all full up.Copy !req
37. - You gotta take him to County.
- What is going on? This is crazy.Copy !req
38. I want to call my lawyer!Copy !req
39. What the hell do you guys
think you're doing anyway, huh?Copy !req
40. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
41. I get a phone call!Copy !req
42. Yes,
in the world of investments,Copy !req
43. my husband had a remarkable ability
to see the future.Copy !req
44. Got a message for you, Paul Young.Copy !req
45. Deirdre's father said
to give you his regards.Copy !req
46. But sadly, Paul didn't see
this one coming at all.Copy !req
47. But sadly, Paul didn't see
this one coming at all.Copy !req
48. Bree Van De Kamp
had a weekly routineCopy !req
49. she'd been following for years.Copy !req
50. She cleaned on Tuesdays.Copy !req
51. She paid her bills on Wednesdays.Copy !req
52. She did her laundry on Thursdays.Copy !req
53. And after these daily chores
were completed,Copy !req
54. she would reward herself
with a little drink.Copy !req
55. What Bree didn't know
was this latest addition to her routineCopy !req
56. had been noticed by her friends.Copy !req
57. And it had now become part
of their routine to discuss it.Copy !req
58. So apparently Bree had
a few too many and passed out.Copy !req
59. Next thing I know, I get a call at work.Copy !req
60. - Someone found my kids on the street.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
61. - Have you seen Bree since?
- No. I'm worried about her,Copy !req
62. but I don't know how I'm
gonna get over what she did.Copy !req
63. Hey, Bree. How're you doing today?Copy !req
64. I'm really well.Copy !req
65. Um, I just saw you all talking
before Lynette went off to work.Copy !req
66. What were you all talking about?Copy !req
67. Oh, nothing really. Carlos
and I see the adoption counsellor today.Copy !req
68. Checking myself into the hospital.
I'm gonna get that surgery.Copy !req
69. Oh, good for you.Copy !req
70. Did Lynette mention
the little tiff we had?Copy !req
71. - Just in passing.
- She barely mentioned it.Copy !req
72. Because what happened was I accidentally
mixed my antihistamine medicationCopy !req
73. with a little glass of wine
I was having,Copy !req
74. and I fell asleep, you know,
while I was watching her kids.Copy !req
75. I mean,
I like a little wine with dinner.Copy !req
76. I mean, now and then.
You know, who doesn't?Copy !req
77. But I mean, you know,
to trash my entire reputation...Copy !req
78. Oh, she didn't trash you, honest.Copy !req
79. Well, good. I mean, I just... I wouldn't
want you to get the wrong impression.Copy !req
80. I'm going to the mall.
They're having a white sale today.Copy !req
81. I think I'm gonna get a new bathmat.Copy !req
82. Oh, does anyone need one?Copy !req
83. - I'm good.
- OK. Take care.Copy !req
84. Wow, did you smell the alcohol
on her breath?Copy !req
85. I sure did.Copy !req
86. Oh...Copy !req
87. Then our Eskimo turns
in to camera and says,Copy !req
88. "Polar Fresh Mints will give
your breath an A-plus too."Copy !req
89. So, what do you think?Copy !req
90. It feels a little familiar.Copy !req
91. I don't think so.Copy !req
92. The Lowell Group used Eskimos
in a deodorant commercial last month.Copy !req
93. Those were jock Eskimos
competing in the Iditarod.Copy !req
94. Ours is trying
to patch things up with his wife.Copy !req
95. Yeah, no, I get the subtle distinction.Copy !req
96. I think we can do better. OK?Copy !req
97. So, Sally, you're up.
What do you got for me?Copy !req
98. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
99. "I got the subtle distinction"?
What was that about?Copy !req
100. If you really want to do this now,
shut the door.Copy !req
101. OK, I was a little bitchy. But you know
why? You did a half-assed job in there.Copy !req
102. You may not like my idea.
You can't say I didn't work.Copy !req
103. Oh, please, I live with you.Copy !req
104. Last night, when you should've
been making that work,Copy !req
105. - you were watching the game.
- I wasn't!Copy !req
106. - I saw you!
- OK, now I can't check the score?Copy !req
107. You gave your heart and soul
to that Eskimo pitch?Copy !req
108. - I worked really hard on that pitch.
- Did you give it 100 percent?Copy !req
109. Well, exactly. So big deal.
Go work up some new ideas,Copy !req
110. and then we'll go over it
during lunch. OK?Copy !req
111. You're the boss.Copy !req
112. Yes, I am.Copy !req
113. - Hey.
- Susan.Copy !req
114. Good to see you again.Copy !req
115. I'm really looking forward
to your surgery.Copy !req
116. And I'm really hoping you're a leftie.Copy !req
117. Nope. I can't write my name.Copy !req
118. That's what I get for throwing
my kid a roller-skating party.Copy !req
119. Funny. So, what about my surgery?Copy !req
120. Oh, I'll still do it.Copy !req
121. With Dr Ron's help, of course.Copy !req
122. Dr Cunningham
will be standing beside me.Copy !req
123. My hands and his brain,
you got the best of us.Copy !req
124. Then I'm on board.Copy !req
125. We're keeping you under observation,
so hopefully, we'll operate tomorrow.Copy !req
126. If you don't mind, I'd like
a minute to consult with my patient.Copy !req
127. Oh, right, your little thing.Copy !req
128. What little thing?Copy !req
129. Um, well, it was gonna be
a surprise, but...Copy !req
130. Oh, my God. They're beautiful.Copy !req
131. Look, I've been thinking
about us... a lot lately.Copy !req
132. Putting this operation behind us
and where we'll go from there.Copy !req
133. Our future... together.Copy !req
134. I suck at putting my emotions into
words, which is why I wrote it all down.Copy !req
135. There's a card.Copy !req
136. Oh.Copy !req
137. Uh, but you can't read it.
Not while I'm here, anyway.Copy !req
138. It's way, way too stressful.Copy !req
139. - I'm going to go now.
- Hm.Copy !req
140. Wow.Copy !req
141. Wow.Copy !req
142. Ah, he's so romantic.Copy !req
143. May I?Copy !req
144. Oh, it's sort of private.Copy !req
145. Well, I did help him
pick out the flowers.Copy !req
146. Oh, um...Copy !req
147. OK.Copy !req
148. There's more on the back.Copy !req
149. So how does this work?
Do we flip through a catalogue?Copy !req
150. I wish it was that easy.Copy !req
151. You have to understand, for every baby,
there are ten couples who want it.Copy !req
152. You don't choose your child,
the birth mother chooses you.Copy !req
153. Really?Copy !req
154. So, what do you think our chances are?
We will do anything that we need to do.Copy !req
155. Well, your typical birth mother
is usually a young girl.Copy !req
156. She'll make sure you're quality people.Copy !req
157. to show her that, you'll be
putting together a parent portfolio.Copy !req
158. - What's that?
- Family pictures,Copy !req
159. character references, that stuff.Copy !req
160. So, uh...
we're auditioning to be parents?Copy !req
161. I guess you could say that.Copy !req
162. So just to be clear, some
slutty cheerleader gets knocked upCopy !req
163. by the soccer coach
behind the local Gas 'N Gulp,Copy !req
164. and she is going to make sure
we're quality people?Copy !req
165. You don't need
to answer that.Copy !req
166. You don't have to hide it from me.Copy !req
167. Hm?Copy !req
168. Your drinking, it doesn't bother me.Copy !req
169. Oh, I wasn't hiding anything.Copy !req
170. I was simply...
enjoying the day.Copy !req
171. - What did you want?
- Well, Mason was my ride to school.Copy !req
172. And his dad's moving them
to Tucson, so...Copy !req
173. Well, if you need a ride to school,
I'm happy to drive you.Copy !req
174. No, that's not what I want.
I want a car.Copy !req
175. Well, then I suggest you get a job.Copy !req
176. Why should I have to work
in some fast-food placeCopy !req
177. when I can already afford what I want?Copy !req
178. We're not touching your trust fund.Copy !req
179. - It's my money.
- Not until you're 21.Copy !req
180. If I had my way,
you wouldn't get it until you're 50.Copy !req
181. I mean, we both know you're
gonna waste every penny of it.Copy !req
182. Why are you being like this?Copy !req
183. Because, sweetheart, it is my job
to teach you about responsibility.Copy !req
184. Setting goals. Delayed gratification.Copy !req
185. What do you know
about delayed gratification?Copy !req
186. It's not even noon,
and you're on your third glass of wine.Copy !req
187. On second thought,
I won't be driving you to school.Copy !req
188. - The walk will do you good.
- Mom, I'm not kidding around.Copy !req
189. - I want my money!
- The answer is no!Copy !req
190. Aren't we a mean, old drunk.Copy !req
191. Whatever that was supposed to teach me,
consider the lesson learned.Copy !req
192. Ah. Whoo.Copy !req
193. What are you doing here?Copy !req
194. I'm enjoying the silky,
smooth moves of Dr Ron.Copy !req
195. - Or should I say, Dr Love?
- Give me that.Copy !req
196. This is my favourite.Copy !req
197. "I can't wait to be in the operating
room with you so I can touch your heart,Copy !req
198. because you've already
touched mine so deeply."Copy !req
199. That sounds better
when you don't read it out loud.Copy !req
200. What are you doing reading it?
Those are Dr Ron's private thoughts.Copy !req
201. Yeah, I got that. You know,
I sense that he really likes you, Susie.Copy !req
202. - So?
- So do you really like him?Copy !req
203. Of course I do.
He's smart and funny and kind.Copy !req
204. Smart, funny, kind.
I don't hear the word "love" in there.Copy !req
205. Well, that's a big word.
We just started dating.Copy !req
206. And we have a connection,
and I'm gonna follow it throughCopy !req
207. - and see where it goes.
- Oh, I get it.Copy !req
208. You'll string him along
till you feel something you don'tCopy !req
209. and waste the next five years
of your life.Copy !req
210. As opposed to the 12 I wasted on you?Copy !req
211. Why are we talking about this?
I don't recall asking you your opinion.Copy !req
212. Because we're married,
and I have certain rights.Copy !req
213. And one of them
is the right to badger you.Copy !req
214. - OK, you know, you can leave now.
- I wish I could MRI your soul.Copy !req
215. Out!Copy !req
216. Not funny.Copy !req
217. Watch out for my wife. She's on a tear.Copy !req
218. Oh, here's one we took on vacation.Copy !req
219. These pictures have to be wholesome.Copy !req
220. They gotta say, "These people
will do a great job raising a child."Copy !req
221. - So?
- So you're topless.Copy !req
222. Yeah, but it's St. Bart's.Copy !req
223. And your hands are covering
my naughty parts.Copy !req
224. The hand that's holding
the tequila shotCopy !req
225. or the one that's holding
the Cuban cigar?Copy !req
226. - Yeah, that was a good trip.
- Gabby!Copy !req
227. - Fine, we won't use it.
- We can't use any of them!Copy !req
228. Every single picture of the two of us,
we're drinking or smoking or naked.Copy !req
229. We like to have fun.
Who doesn't understand it betterCopy !req
230. than an unwed, knocked-up teenager?Copy !req
231. This is serious. If we can't
sell ourselves as good people...Copy !req
232. Well, then we'll just have
to find someone who can do it for us.Copy !req
233. So you want me to pitch you as parents?Copy !req
234. You're in advertising, you can do it.Copy !req
235. Just write us a character reference
saying we're great with kids.Copy !req
236. Oh, and this is for you.Copy !req
237. You don't have to bribe me.
We're all friends here.Copy !req
238. Keeping that in mind, would it also
be OK if we were your kids' godparents?Copy !req
239. Oh, uh... I guess.Copy !req
240. Great, and can we take
some fake pictures to document it?Copy !req
241. I don't suppose you brought a corkscrew?Copy !req
242. He didn't have a warrant, and you
arrest him, then you gotta tell me...Copy !req
243. - Hello, Mike.
- Felicia, what are you doing here?Copy !req
244. Oh, I left in such a rush.Copy !req
245. There was a lot of old business
I forget to wrap up.Copy !req
246. It must be pretty important business,Copy !req
247. gets you to move next to the man
you think murdered your sister.Copy !req
248. It's funny you should mention Paul.Copy !req
249. You know, the police came
and took him away last night.Copy !req
250. The police?Copy !req
251. And from the way
they were manhandling him,Copy !req
252. I don't think he'll
be back anytime soon.Copy !req
253. I just want
to talk to him, that's all.Copy !req
254. - What the hell's going on?
- It's none of your concern, Mike.Copy !req
255. Listen to me.
If anything happens to Paul Young...Copy !req
256. It already happened. Hours ago.Copy !req
257. He's dead?Copy !req
258. Like I said, it's none of your concern.Copy !req
259. Maybe you do don't get it, Noah.
You screwed up.Copy !req
260. You killed the most important person
in your grandson's life.Copy !req
261. Do you think he'll have anything
to do with you once he finds out?Copy !req
262. And believe me,
I'll make sure he finds out.Copy !req
263. So, honey, the meat loaf, it's, um...
it's a little... little burnt.Copy !req
264. Oh, right.
I was talking to Susan on the phone,Copy !req
265. and I left it in longer
than I should have. Sorry.Copy !req
266. That's OK.Copy !req
267. - Is it that bad?
- No. No, not bad at all.Copy !req
268. Oh, good. Parker, don't put
your elbows on the table. Go on.Copy !req
269. - You agree it wasn't your best effort.
- Huh?Copy !req
270. The meal.
The task you agreed to take on.Copy !req
271. You'd agree that you
didn't give it 100 percent, right?Copy !req
272. Tom, if you're gonna make a point, do
it now, before I hurl the plate at you.Copy !req
273. Nobody gives 100 percent of their effort
all the time. It is impossible.Copy !req
274. You do the best with the time
and energy that you have.Copy !req
275. Stop right there.
This is meat loaf. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
276. Your presentation was business.Copy !req
277. You're saying the client deserves
more effort than your own family?Copy !req
278. OK. So if I apologise
for upsetting you at work,Copy !req
279. can we get past it and enjoy our meal?Copy !req
280. Absolutely.Copy !req
281. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry.
- Thanks.Copy !req
282. So, boys,
how do you enjoy the meat loaf?Copy !req
283. - It's a little salty.
- Yeah.Copy !req
284. Just eat it.Copy !req
285. There. Perfect.Copy !req
286. All right.Copy !req
287. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
288. Mm! Ahh!Copy !req
289. All right, one more time.Copy !req
290. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
291. - I don't want to mess up your face.
- Do you love me?Copy !req
292. Then do what I tell you.Copy !req
293. - Rough day.
- Yeah.Copy !req
294. I wonder if there's any way
that we can turn it around still.Copy !req
295. Good question.Copy !req
296. - But what to do? What to do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
297. Mmm.Copy !req
298. Mmm. Mmm. Oh.Copy !req
299. Hi. What's up?Copy !req
300. - Why do you keep trying to do that?
- What?Copy !req
301. - You're trying to get on top.
- Of you? No, I'm not.Copy !req
302. You were pushing on me,
like you were trying to sack me.Copy !req
303. You serious?Copy !req
304. Tom, I wasn't doing anything,
I was just going for it.Copy !req
305. I was just lost in the moment.
Oh, come on.Copy !req
306. Come on. This is silly.
I don't want to argue.Copy !req
307. I mean, unless it turns you on. Does it?Copy !req
308. Because then I'm all about it, baby.Copy !req
309. Come here.Copy !req
310. What was that? What?Copy !req
311. - What was what?
- You were bracing.Copy !req
312. You were bracing with your leg.Copy !req
313. I was trying to lie on top,
you were bracing against the mattressCopy !req
314. so you didn't have to get on your back.Copy !req
315. Try and deny it. You can't.Copy !req
316. OK, can I just mention
you're talking like a crazy person?Copy !req
317. You can't give it up for a second.Copy !req
318. You always have
to call the shots. Always!Copy !req
319. Is this about me being your boss again?
You gotta get over it.Copy !req
320. That's exactly my point. Exactly.Copy !req
321. You are not just my boss at the office.
You're my boss everywhere.Copy !req
322. Oh, that's ridiculous.Copy !req
323. You run the show! You run
the show, and I'm along for the ride.Copy !req
324. I just push the little shopping cart,
let the woman do all the driving.Copy !req
325. - Tom...
- I'm the caddy husband.Copy !req
326. I carry your clubs.Copy !req
327. I am so sorry you feel that way,Copy !req
328. but you cannot put that on me.Copy !req
329. This is your life.Copy !req
330. You wanna run it, then step on up.Copy !req
331. You want to drive,
grab the steering wheel.Copy !req
332. I mean, what else am I supposed to say?Copy !req
333. I'm gonna check on the kids.Copy !req
334. - Time to check your blood pressure.
- Oh, sure.Copy !req
335. That's a little tight.
Does it have to be that tight?Copy !req
336. - Yes.
- Oh.Copy !req
337. OK. That's
actually starting to be painful.Copy !req
338. Really? That surprises me.Copy !req
339. I just assumed you were dead inside.Copy !req
340. Ow! Ow! What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
341. I told myself to stay out of this,
but I can't.Copy !req
342. - I know that you're married.
- I am not.Copy !req
343. Really? Hmm.Copy !req
344. Because that man who came to see
you yesterday said you're his wife.Copy !req
345. Oh, no, no. He just said
that because we used to be married.Copy !req
346. - Force of habit.
- That explains everything.Copy !req
347. I checked your insurance forms,
and you're married.Copy !req
348. So that makes you
a lying, adulterous skank.Copy !req
349. No, no, no, Nurse Hisel! No, Nurse...Copy !req
350. Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh, ow!Copy !req
351. Nurse Hisel!Copy !req
352. Nurse...Copy !req
353. Oh, God. Come on.Copy !req
354. Nurse...Copy !req
355. - Nurse Hisel, I can explain.
- Can you, skank?Copy !req
356. Yes! OK, I am married.Copy !req
357. But it's only
because my insurance ran out.Copy !req
358. My ex-husband
has a really good coverage plan,Copy !req
359. so he said that he would remarry me
so I could get my operation.Copy !req
360. I didn't tell Dr Ron, because I didn't
want him to be an accomplice to fraud.Copy !req
361. So you're, what, protecting him?Copy !req
362. Yeah. Yes, I am.Copy !req
363. OK. As long
as you're not two-timing him.Copy !req
364. Mm, hm.Copy !req
365. - He feels so strongly about you.
- I know, I read the card.Copy !req
366. - But did you read between the lines?
- What do you mean?Copy !req
367. OK. I shouldn't be telling you this,Copy !req
368. but when we were
picking out the flowers for you,Copy !req
369. he said that he was working up
the courage to say he loves you.Copy !req
370. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
371. - But you have to act surprised, OK?
- Oh, yeah, I'll be surprised.Copy !req
372. So I guess we have
the whole insurance thing worked out?Copy !req
373. Oh, don't worry about that!Copy !req
374. Please. Who am I to cast stones?Copy !req
375. I mean, heck,
I didn't pass my nurse's exam.Copy !req
376. They didn't even ask me!Copy !req
377. Andrew, did I hear the bell?Copy !req
378. - Oh, hello.
- I'm Samuel Bormanis.Copy !req
379. - I'm here to see Andrew.
- Oh, OK.Copy !req
380. - Are you a friend of Andrew's?
- I'm his lawyer.Copy !req
381. His lawyer? Why on earth
would Andrew need a lawyer?Copy !req
382. Here you go, Sam.Copy !req
383. Honey, what happened to... to your face?Copy !req
384. I... You hit me. Don't you remember?Copy !req
385. For the record, I did not punch my son.
I slapped him with an open palm.Copy !req
386. Yeah, but, Mom,
the thing is, when you drink,Copy !req
387. - you don't know your own strength.
- This is ridiculous!Copy !req
388. Can you see this is a performance?Copy !req
389. Mrs Van De Kamp, I've heard enough.Copy !req
390. This environment
is a highly dysfunctional one.Copy !req
391. Andrew has retained my services in order
to pursue a healthier living situation.Copy !req
392. - And what might that be?
- I, um... I want to be emancipated.Copy !req
393. Emancipated?Copy !req
394. As an emancipated minor,
Andrew would live on his own.Copy !req
395. He'd still go to school, but he'd be
released from all adult supervision.Copy !req
396. Well, that's the silliest thing
I've ever heard of.Copy !req
397. How would he support himself?Copy !req
398. Well, he'd be in complete control
of his own finances.Copy !req
399. So that's what this is about?
Your trust fund?Copy !req
400. Obviously, we'd all prefer
not to go to family court.Copy !req
401. But with the violence
and your DUI charge,Copy !req
402. it could get ugly.Copy !req
403. Uh, Mr Bormanis, I'll need
a little time to think about this.Copy !req
404. You have 24 hours.Copy !req
405. It really looks like
we're having a good time.Copy !req
406. It really looks like
we're having a good time.Copy !req
407. I sure hope this works.Copy !req
408. As long as they don't make me
play guitar, I think we're home free.Copy !req
409. Mr and Mrs Solis,
Rhoda can see you now.Copy !req
410. OK, thank you.Copy !req
411. Wow.Copy !req
412. It looks like you spend
lots of time with these kids.Copy !req
413. We take our roles as godparents
very seriously. Don't we, honey?Copy !req
414. - Mm-hm. Yes.
- Oh.Copy !req
415. They're precious. What are their names?Copy !req
416. Parker and, uh... Porter...Copy !req
417. uh, and, uh...Copy !req
418. Well, they're all P's. It is super-cute.Copy !req
419. One sec. Do you need me, Helen?Copy !req
420. Hello, Gabrielle. Carlos.Copy !req
421. I didn't know you were adopting.Copy !req
422. Preston. The other one's name
is Preston.Copy !req
423. Helen, you work here?Copy !req
424. You all know each other?
What a small world.Copy !req
425. It sure is. Mrs Solis hired my son
to do her yard work.Copy !req
426. And also, she would rape him.Copy !req
427. OK, first of all, it was statutory.
And it happened so long ago.Copy !req
428. Was it? I think it was only
about a year ago.Copy !req
429. No, it was a year because
it was right before your husbandCopy !req
430. went to prison on slave labour charges.Copy !req
431. Rhoda, if you don't mind, I think
I'll handle the Solis case myself.Copy !req
432. - I'd like to make it my top priority.
- OK.Copy !req
433. Oh, and don't bother trying to contact
any other adoption agencies in the area.Copy !req
434. I'll make sure they know all about you.Copy !req
435. I think I have to break up with Dr Ron.Copy !req
436. What? Why?Copy !req
437. Because he's a gem.
And apparently, he loves me.Copy !req
438. I'm sorry, I'm not following.Copy !req
439. Lynette, he's everything
I could possibly want in a boyfriend,Copy !req
440. and I just don't know
if I feel that... spark.Copy !req
441. - You know, and I really want to.
- Ah, sweetie...Copy !req
442. He keeps telling me how special I am
and how much I mean to himCopy !req
443. and how he wants to hold
my beating heart in his hand.Copy !req
444. - Eww.
- Mmm.Copy !req
445. Maybe it's because I just
haven't felt that thunderbolt yet.Copy !req
446. You know, with Mike, it hit me.
With Karl, it hit me.Copy !req
447. I didn't have to worry about how I felt
because the thunderbolt told me.Copy !req
448. Yeah, yeah, gotta love the thunderbolt.Copy !req
449. Do I, though? I mean,
I do, but I don't trust it anymore.Copy !req
450. Those relationships
turned out to be disasters.Copy !req
451. Maybe I should stick it out
with Dr Ron,Copy !req
452. and I should try heading
down a road that's growing and slower,Copy !req
453. into a sort of kind of love that would
sustain itself for 50 years. Right?Copy !req
454. Stability, comfort, endurance,
I deserve that.Copy !req
455. Oh, yes, of course you do.Copy !req
456. - Still, you gotta love the thunderbolt.
- That's not helpful.Copy !req
457. Sorry.Copy !req
458. - Ah, this is a sign.
- Will you shut up?Copy !req
459. We lost a baby,
found out we can't conceiveCopy !req
460. and ran into Helen Rowland
at an adoption agency.Copy !req
461. God is trying to tell us something.Copy !req
462. Carlos, we're Catholics.
God is pretty Johnny One NoteCopy !req
463. on the whole subject of procreation.Copy !req
464. And will you stop
with this defeatist attitude?Copy !req
465. - OK, do you want a baby or not?
- I think it's time we face reality.Copy !req
466. We're bad people who probably
don't deserve to be parents.Copy !req
467. - Well, then who the hell does?
- Mmm.Copy !req
468. I mean, look at all
the idiots popping out kids.Copy !req
469. OK, they're not any more
qualified than we are.Copy !req
470. - I don't know.
- Look, Carlos,Copy !req
471. it doesn't matter what we've done.Copy !req
472. Being a parent
means rising to the occasion.Copy !req
473. And that's exactly what we're gonna do
when we bring our baby home.Copy !req
474. This is the first time I've really felt
like you wanted to have a baby.Copy !req
475. Well, this is the first time
someone told me I couldn't have one.Copy !req
476. OK, so, what are we gonna do?Copy !req
477. No adoption agency's
gonna touch us now.Copy !req
478. There are ways to get babies, Carlos.
It just might cost us.Copy !req
479. I have contacts
in the police department.Copy !req
480. I've been making calls,
but I can't seem to get an answer.Copy !req
481. - How do they just lose somebody?
- They don't, not by accident.Copy !req
482. I don't think what happened
was an accident.Copy !req
483. What is that supposed mean?Copy !req
484. What is that supposed mean?Copy !req
485. Zach!Copy !req
486. - Ms. Tillman.
- Hello, Zachary. You look terrible.Copy !req
487. Oh, Mr Delfino.Copy !req
488. Isn't this just a picture?Copy !req
489. Felicia, why are you here?Copy !req
490. Young Zachary and I didn't
exactly part on the best of terms.Copy !req
491. In fact, when the weather's damp,
I'm still reminded of our last goodbye.Copy !req
492. But forgive and forget.
That's my motto. Macaroon?Copy !req
493. Dad!Copy !req
494. You're all right?Copy !req
495. Now, how'd you know I love macaroons?Copy !req
496. It won't end here, you know.
Noah Taylor doesn't give up.Copy !req
497. Don't worry. We'll be gone by morning.Copy !req
498. No, it's too late for that now.
He's got people watching you.Copy !req
499. What is it with you?Copy !req
500. You wanted me to run, now you want us
to stick around like sitting ducks.Copy !req
501. Go ahead, run.
Noah's got the cops in his pocket.Copy !req
502. What do you think will happen
when you buy gas with a credit cardCopy !req
503. or open a new bank account?Copy !req
504. So I'm a dead man?Copy !req
505. Maybe not.Copy !req
506. - Not if we use what leverage we have.
- No way.Copy !req
507. The old man's gonna be dead
in a couple of months, maybe less.Copy !req
508. Let him meet Zach,
play the doting grandfather...Copy !req
509. - I said forget it.
- I'll do it.Copy !req
510. If it means he'll leave us alone,
I'm ready to be leveraged.Copy !req
511. Nicholson will be in
in 15 minutes for the pitch,Copy !req
512. so let's grab everybody and make sure
we're all on the same page.Copy !req
513. Hang on a second.Copy !req
514. What's going on?Copy !req
515. - I need to say this.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
516. Look, I've been giving you a lot
of grief lately about being the boss,Copy !req
517. but it's just hard for a guy
to feel like he's not in chargeCopy !req
518. - of any part of his life.
- But, honey, it goes back and forth.Copy !req
519. I know. But it just feels
a little one-sided lately,Copy !req
520. and sometimes,
I need to drive the train.Copy !req
521. But look, I know it is my issue.
It's my issue.Copy !req
522. And I will step up and deal with it.Copy !req
523. Mm.Copy !req
524. Oh. Hello. What's going on? Huh?Copy !req
525. Picking up where we left off...Copy !req
526. - Hm!
last night.Copy !req
527. Oh, I get it. I get it.Copy !req
528. Whoo! This is your idea
of driving the train.Copy !req
529. Yeah.Copy !req
530. And it's very manly
and really impressive,Copy !req
531. but it's really, really bad timing.Copy !req
532. You can't be serious.Copy !req
533. Mm.Copy !req
534. - We're gonna... we're gonna be late.
- Yeah.Copy !req
535. We are going to be late.Copy !req
536. OK.Copy !req
537. There is nothing
more important than family.Copy !req
538. I think it's so unfair some are denied
their God-given right to parentCopy !req
539. just because of a few
sordid incidents in their past.Copy !req
540. Now, I may have to explore some
unconventional paths to find your child.Copy !req
541. I might even have to take actions
some might view as unsavoury.Copy !req
542. But before I do,Copy !req
543. I need proof that
the two of you are preparedCopy !req
544. to face the challenges ahead.Copy !req
545. Twenty thousand dollars.Copy !req
546. Is that proof enough for you?Copy !req
547. Yes, it is.Copy !req
548. It's nice to meet you, young man.Copy !req
549. I'm not gonna hug you.
I don't care if you are my grandfather.Copy !req
550. Ah, that's OK.
Hugging's not really my thing.Copy !req
551. Mike, could you wait outside?
I'd like to be alone with Zachary.Copy !req
552. Not a chance.Copy !req
553. Just curious,Copy !req
554. - why was it so important you see me?
- You're my grandson.Copy !req
555. My flesh and blood.Copy !req
556. Isn't it only natural
I'd want a relationship with you?Copy !req
557. What kind of relationship can we have
when I know you tried to kill my dad?Copy !req
558. Surely, you can understand the rage
I must feel towards your father.Copy !req
559. Go ahead,
feel all the rage you want to feel.Copy !req
560. If anything happens to him, I swear to
God, you are never gonna see me again.Copy !req
561. You only met me two minutes ago,Copy !req
562. and here you are,
already blackmailing me.Copy !req
563. - I couldn't be prouder.
- I'm serious.Copy !req
564. Swear you're not
gonna do anything to my dad.Copy !req
565. Which dad? You have two of them.Copy !req
566. You know who I'm talking about. My dad.Copy !req
567. The man who raised me. The only man
I'm ever gonna care about.Copy !req
568. So swear.Copy !req
569. I swear. Well, now that
the ground rules have been set,Copy !req
570. who's up
for some meaningless small talk?Copy !req
571. Well, if it isn't the plumber.
You here to see Susie?Copy !req
572. Yeah. I just wanted to talk to her
before her operation.Copy !req
573. You're cutting it kind of close. She's
just about to be wheeled into surgery.Copy !req
574. - You know she's dating her surgeon.
- Yeah, she told me.Copy !req
575. - You met him?
- Yeah. He's, like, six years old.Copy !req
576. Those for her?Copy !req
577. Yeah. The florist
was having a sale on lilacs.Copy !req
578. Dr Ron just bought her the biggest
bouquet of roses you've ever seen.Copy !req
579. It was disgusting. The note that
went with it made my teeth hurt,Copy !req
580. it was so saccharin. He used words
like "soul mate" and "eternity."Copy !req
581. - I almost puked in the vase.
- What did Susan think about that?Copy !req
582. - I almost puked in the vase.
- What did Susan think about that?Copy !req
583. She seemed to be really into it.Copy !req
584. Mike. Oh, wait, stop. Go back.Copy !req
585. Stop, stop for a second. Hey!Copy !req
586. What are you doing here?Copy !req
587. I just wanted to wish you luck
before your surgery.Copy !req
588. Oh, that's so sweet.Copy !req
589. You came all the way
down here just for me?Copy !req
590. Yep. That's why I came.Copy !req
591. Oh, it means a lot to me that you came.Copy !req
592. - Well, you take care, Susan.
- OK.Copy !req
593. Bye.Copy !req
594. - You forgot to give her your flowers.
- Yeah, it's no big deal.Copy !req
595. Hi, Susan.Copy !req
596. Are those drugs working?
You feeling good?Copy !req
597. Super-duper. How you feeling?Copy !req
598. Well, um, I want you to know,
what I said the other day,Copy !req
599. the corny stuff about
holding your heart in my hands.Copy !req
600. Well,
what I meant to say was,Copy !req
601. my feelings for you, they keep growing.Copy !req
602. And, uh, I think... Well, I hope
that you feel the same way about me.Copy !req
603. Mmm.Copy !req
604. Aw, hell, Susan. I love you.Copy !req
605. Aw, thank you.Copy !req
606. I love Mike.Copy !req
607. Mike? Susan, who's Mike?Copy !req
608. Mike is love.Copy !req
609. Who the hell is Mike?Copy !req
610. I don't know, but she's married to Karl!Copy !req
611. I'm so, so sorry.
I should have told you, Dr Ron.Copy !req
612. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey...Copy !req
613. Oh! Why are you always
falling in love with skanks?Copy !req
614. You beautiful, beautiful man!Copy !req
615. OK, we ready to go here?Copy !req
616. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
617. Let's cut this bitch open.Copy !req
618. What are you doing?Copy !req
619. Your lawyer left
a message on my machine.Copy !req
620. It seems we have a hearing
in four weeks, and I want to be ready.Copy !req
621. Oh, I get it. So, uh... so you're gonna
pretend to be sober for the judge.Copy !req
622. Oh, there's no pretending.Copy !req
623. I am going to my first
AA meeting tomorrow.Copy !req
624. I picked one in the worst part of townCopy !req
625. so I won't run into anybody I know,
which, of course, means I will.Copy !req
626. All right, so, what is that gonna prove?Copy !req
627. Perception is reality.Copy !req
628. And if people perceive me to have
a drinking problem, then I do.Copy !req
629. And I certainly
don't want some idiotic judgeCopy !req
630. using my hobby
as an excuse to make you rich.Copy !req
631. So I'm simply going to give up my wineCopy !req
632. and become a recovering alcoholic.Copy !req
633. Good plan. But it'll never work.Copy !req
634. See, I'll bet you still end up coming
to court hammered.Copy !req
635. Oh, Andrew. You don't think
I love you enough to give up alcohol?Copy !req
636. Look, I'm 17, all right?Copy !req
637. So you can only
keep me here for another year.Copy !req
638. Why not just let me go?Copy !req
639. Because I'm not done with you yet.Copy !req
640. It's my job to teach you, and you are
not half the man I know you can be.Copy !req
641. Well, I got news for you.
This is as good as I get.Copy !req
642. If I really thought that, I'd get
a gun right now and kill us both.Copy !req
643. Mom, we're both so unhappy.Copy !req
644. Why not just let me take my trust fund,
and I'll get out of your hair forever.Copy !req
645. Please.Copy !req
646. You're a stone-cold bitch,
you know that?Copy !req
647. I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that.Copy !req
648. I hate you.Copy !req
649. You know,
the opposite of love isn't hate.Copy !req
650. It's indifference.Copy !req
651. And if you hate me,
that means you still care.Copy !req
652. And we're still connected.Copy !req
653. And I still have
a chance to set you right.Copy !req
654. This is how
Bree Van De Kamp finally cameCopy !req
655. to change her weekly routine.Copy !req
656. She still cleaned on Tuesdays,Copy !req
657. paid her bills on WednesdaysCopy !req
658. and did her laundry on Thursdays.Copy !req
659. But her Fridays
were now reserved for a meeting.Copy !req
660. A special meeting where she stood
in front of people she didn't know.Copy !req
661. My name is Bree. And I am an alcoholic.Copy !req
662. And said things she didn't believe.Copy !req
663. And afterwards, Bree would come home
and reward herself...Copy !req
664. on the completion
of another successful week.Copy !req