1. Desperate Housewives S02E14 2nd audio Silly PeopleCopy !req
2. Your spleen's wandered
close to your heart.Copy !req
3. - Get your insurance figured out.
- There was the bad news...Copy !req
4. There's a cop
I want you to talk to. Sullivan.Copy !req
5. - The file on Noah's daughter.
the discomforting news...Copy !req
6. Thanks.Copy !req
7. Are you hiding someone
in your house?Copy !req
8. - Tell me your secrets, I'll understand.
- OK.Copy !req
9. and the news
no one should know.Copy !req
10. But you tell me yours first.Copy !req
11. Once a month, the
crème de la crème of Fairview societyCopy !req
12. Once a month, the
crème de la crème of Fairview societyCopy !req
13. would attend a semi-formal luncheon
at the home of Maxine Bennett.Copy !req
14. Everyone loved these
elegant get-togethers.Copy !req
15. Everyone, that is, but
a certain redheaded housewife,Copy !req
16. who was convinced
Maxine was a liar.Copy !req
17. You see, Maxine liked to brag
that she did all her own cooking.Copy !req
18. And because each course
was served promptly,Copy !req
19. - presented with flair...
- Oh, it smells delicious.Copy !req
20. and was positively mouth-watering,Copy !req
21. Bree knew Maxine
had had some help.Copy !req
22. - Thank you so much.
- And sadly for Maxine,Copy !req
23. Bree intended to prove it.Copy !req
24. Once again this entire lunch
was just out of this world.Copy !req
25. I just have to get the number
of your caterer.Copy !req
26. What a nice compliment.Copy !req
27. No, I'm afraid
this was all my doing.Copy !req
28. It was an absolute triumph.Copy !req
29. Come on. Do you honestly
expect us to believeCopy !req
30. that you had the time to prepare
a six-course meal for ten women?Copy !req
31. Even I couldn't make this
and have time to get ready for a party.Copy !req
32. Well, perhaps you're just
not as organised as I am.Copy !req
33. Mm-hm.Copy !req
34. If you'll excuse me...Copy !req
35. Bree, what's gotten into you?Copy !req
36. I have the same recipe
for English plum pudding.Copy !req
37. It takes six hours to prepare.Copy !req
38. How would she have time to make all this
and everything else we ate today?Copy !req
39. This is not the pudding
of an honest woman.Copy !req
40. FBI. Open up!Copy !req
41. What on earth?Copy !req
42. Oh!Copy !req
43. - We're looking for Maxine Bennett.
- I'm Maxine.Copy !req
44. We have a warrant
to search the premises.Copy !req
45. A warrant?
I'm in the middle of a luncheon.Copy !req
46. Over here.Copy !req
47. Found her.Copy !req
48. What?Copy !req
49. Maxine Bennett, you're
under arrest for involuntary servitude.Copy !req
50. - Is this the woman who locked you up?
- Yeah.Copy !req
51. Bree, what's going on?Copy !req
52. Well, I'm not sure,
but I think Maxine had a slave.Copy !req
53. Well, I'm not sure,
but I think Maxine had a slave.Copy !req
54. I can't believe it.
I just can't believe it.Copy !req
55. I can't believe it.
I just can't believe it.Copy !req
56. But Bree could.Copy !req
57. You see, for her,Copy !req
58. the proof was in the pudding.Copy !req
59. Checkmate!Copy !req
60. The world is filled
with unlikely friendships.Copy !req
61. Odd pairings that,
to the casual observer...Copy !req
62. make absolutely no sense at all.Copy !req
63. But if we look closer,Copy !req
64. we can see why
these alliances form.Copy !req
65. After all, a shared purposeCopy !req
66. can give even mortal enemies
common ground.Copy !req
67. - Bree? We have a question for you.
- Oh, what is it?Copy !req
68. We were just wondering...
Actually, we were curious about...Copy !req
69. What the hell's going on
with you and Betty Applewhite?Copy !req
70. Excuse me?Copy !req
71. When the dead body showed up,
nobody was yelling,Copy !req
72. "The Applewhites are involved!"
louder than you.Copy !req
73. The next thing, you're having
Betty over for poker?Copy !req
74. - What gives?
- She makes us sound angry.Copy !req
75. - We're not.
- I'm angry.Copy !req
76. Can we talk about this later?
I have ice cream in here.Copy !req
77. Could this flip-flop
have something to do with the factCopy !req
78. that Danielle's dating Matthew?Copy !req
79. I knew that would get her.Copy !req
80. Who told you that?Copy !req
81. Mrs McCluskey saw them
making out in the park.Copy !req
82. - Edie!
- What?Copy !req
83. - Can't you sugar-coat it a little?
- I did.Copy !req
84. He had his hand down her shirt.Copy !req
85. Bree, we know you have a reason
for wanting Betty to hang out with us.Copy !req
86. We just wondered if you
could clue us in a little.Copy !req
87. When it comes to Betty Applewhite,
I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
88. You two are gonna
have to trust me.Copy !req
89. And if you can't do that,Copy !req
90. then I've overestimated
the depth of our friendship.Copy !req
91. Now, if you'll excuse me...Copy !req
92. What a bitch.Copy !req
93. - Edie, can you?
- I was sugar-coating it.Copy !req
94. Hey.Copy !req
95. Oh! None of that in here.Copy !req
96. Maybe if we remind Ed that
I'm shacking up with the senior VP,Copy !req
97. - he'll stop killing my pitches.
- It's been a week.Copy !req
98. - Give yourself a break.
- You know the ad game.Copy !req
99. I've got a short time to make my mark
before he kicks me to the kerb.Copy !req
100. Look, I'm just asking you,
jump in every once in a while,Copy !req
101. throw me some rope
when Ed's on the warpath.Copy !req
102. I can't protect you. You'll have to
find a way to click with Ed yourself.Copy !req
103. Then the pig, he rubs
his stomach, and he goes:Copy !req
104. "Farm Fresh bacon will
make a piggy out of you too!"Copy !req
105. So the pig actually
eats the bacon?Copy !req
106. - Yeah.
- I don't see the clientCopy !req
107. doing a happy dance
over the whole cannibalism theme.Copy !req
108. Why don't you pitch them the other idea
you came up with last night?Copy !req
109. Where people love bacon so much
they want to keep it a secret.Copy !req
110. What? Like a secret underground
society of bacon eaters?Copy !req
111. Like my college fraternity,
everybody wanted in,Copy !req
112. but we only took the coolest guys.Copy !req
113. - You were Greek?
- Yeah, Alpha Tau Omega.Copy !req
114. - I was Phi Kapp.
- You?Copy !req
115. I don't remember you having
to be cool to pledge ATO.Copy !req
116. If I had a nickel
for every Phi KappCopy !req
117. that I tied naked to a freeway sign...Copy !req
118. Scavo, if you were my pledge,Copy !req
119. - I'd have made you my bitch.
- You think so?Copy !req
120. You know what?
I'm liking this whole fraternity angle.Copy !req
121. Let's talk about it over lunch.
You're buying.Copy !req
122. Go!Copy !req
123. - Thanks for your help.
- My pleasure.Copy !req
124. Hello. What's going on?Copy !req
125. Gabrielle, I want you to
meet someone. This is Xiao Mei.Copy !req
126. The young lady who was
forced to work for Maxine.Copy !req
127. Oh, the slave.Copy !req
128. Wow. Looks well-fed.Copy !req
129. The church is arranging
for her return to China,Copy !req
130. but until then
she needs a place to stay.Copy !req
131. So I offered up our guest room.Copy !req
132. Really?Copy !req
133. Baby, can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
134. - Are you nuts?
- It's only for a couple of days!Copy !req
135. This time!
You are quickly becomingCopy !req
136. Father Crowley's go-to guy
for charity cases!Copy !req
137. That's a bad thing?Copy !req
138. When he turns our house into
a Catholic Underground Railroad, yes!Copy !req
139. You know who you are?Copy !req
140. The kind of person who'd have
turned away Mary and Joseph.Copy !req
141. Well, they should
have called ahead!Copy !req
142. Don't brush your hair
at the table.Copy !req
143. You're talking to me?
Does this mean you've forgiven me?Copy !req
144. Why should I? You betrayed this family,
and you're not even sorry.Copy !req
145. Don't be such a drama queen.Copy !req
146. If the Applewhites go to the policeCopy !req
147. and tell them your brother
ran over Mrs Solis,Copy !req
148. he could go to prison!Copy !req
149. How can you not understand that?Copy !req
150. They won't, as long as you don't
go to the police about Caleb.Copy !req
151. What did this Caleb do, exactly?Copy !req
152. And why on earth
are they hiding him?Copy !req
153. Go to Mrs Applewhite and tell her
you need to know what's going on.Copy !req
154. I bet if you were really nice,
she'd tell you the truth.Copy !req
155. Is that what you
really think, Danielle?Copy !req
156. I should go
to Mrs Applewhite, be nice,Copy !req
157. and then she'll hand over
all her secrets?Copy !req
158. Yeah.Copy !req
159. When I was young, my stepmother
told me that I was very lucky.Copy !req
160. I possessed beauty,
wit, cunning and insight.Copy !req
161. These were weapons all women
needed to survive in the world.Copy !req
162. So?Copy !req
163. So take good care
of your looks, Danielle.Copy !req
164. You don't have any other weapons
at your disposal.Copy !req
165. Hi. I need an operation on my spleen.
I just found out I don't have insurance.Copy !req
166. Is there anyone I can sue?Copy !req
167. After the embezzlement,
Lonnie let the policy lapse.Copy !req
168. And now he's in jail,
and I'm gonna die!Copy !req
169. You're not gonna die. I'll get
into it with the insurance company.Copy !req
170. There isn't time
to deal with red tape!Copy !req
171. My spleen is going
careening into my heart.Copy !req
172. I need that operation now.Copy !req
173. I'd loan you the money myself,Copy !req
174. but Edie and I just plopped down
our savings in a ski condo.Copy !req
175. I don't need a loan.
I need coverage.Copy !req
176. I mean, what if
there are complications?Copy !req
177. I don't have a safety net!
Oh... please.Copy !req
178. - What in the hell are you doing?
- I'm saying a little prayer.Copy !req
179. For puke's sake.Copy !req
180. What? I'm desperate here.
Do you have any other ideas?Copy !req
181. As a matter of fact, I do.Copy !req
182. - What you need is a husband.
- What?Copy !req
183. The only way to get a good health plan
is to marry into one.Copy !req
184. - Edie, come on.
- No, no, I think she's onto something.Copy !req
185. Yeah. If we find a guy
with the right plan,Copy !req
186. you could have a sham wedding
on a Monday nightCopy !req
187. - and be covered Tuesday morning.
- I can't believe you're considering it.Copy !req
188. The surgeon is slicing me open
a week from tomorrow.Copy !req
189. What other choice do I have?Copy !req
190. All we have to do is find a guy
who's willing to marry you.Copy !req
191. You know, come to think of it,Copy !req
192. a little prayer might not
be such a bad idea, after all.Copy !req
193. Pat, we're all here, so send the call
in as soon as you get it.Copy !req
194. Two hundred bucks says you can't
do that three times in a row.Copy !req
195. Huh? You catch three of those,
200 bucks.Copy !req
196. - What do you say, there, Scavo?
- You're on.Copy !req
197. - Here we go.
- Uh, uh, uh, uh!Copy !req
198. Thrown by me.Copy !req
199. I thought we were here to talk
about the Farm Fresh rollout?Copy !req
200. They gotta be catchable, big guy.Copy !req
201. Let me worry
about the shooting.Copy !req
202. Come on.Copy !req
203. - That's one.
- Guys...Copy !req
204. Nice moves.Copy !req
205. - One more, big guy.
- Guys, please... All right.Copy !req
206. Oww!Copy !req
207. Ow.Copy !req
208. That wasn't even catchable!Copy !req
209. Maybe not, but it was totally worth
the 200 bucks. Whoo!Copy !req
210. Well, you got me.Copy !req
211. You're a regular little monkey man.
I love this guy.Copy !req
212. Oh, hi.Copy !req
213. Do you have to
sit around all day?Copy !req
214. Shouldn't you experience
Western civilisationCopy !req
215. while you have the chance?Copy !req
216. What are you doing?Copy !req
217. - I fix.
- No, this is couture!Copy !req
218. This rip has to be fixed
by an experienced tailor.Copy !req
219. You can't just... Holy crap!
This stitching is perfect.Copy !req
220. Hungry?Copy !req
221. Did you make all of this?Copy !req
222. Oh, for me?Copy !req
223. OK.Copy !req
224. - Oh, my God.
- You like?Copy !req
225. I like a lot.Copy !req
226. You like that?Copy !req
227. Yeah, it's nice.Copy !req
228. You know what they do
to people in ChinaCopy !req
229. who speak out against
the government?Copy !req
230. They put them
in forced labour camps.Copy !req
231. Isn't that awful?Copy !req
232. Mm-hm.Copy !req
233. No, I mean, it's such
a repressive regime.Copy !req
234. We forget how good we have it.Copy !req
235. Yes, we do.Copy !req
236. Don't you think Xiao Mei
would like it better here, in America?Copy !req
237. I mean, where she could learn
about freedom and democracy and stuff.Copy !req
238. Does this have anything to do with
you making Xiao Mei do housework?Copy !req
239. - What?
- I found her waxing the floor.Copy !req
240. She told me you asked her
to put on two coats.Copy !req
241. Well, first of all, that was her idea.Copy !req
242. Second, I can't have this conversation
until you've tasted her crab puffs.Copy !req
243. - Mmm.
- Mm-mm.Copy !req
244. - Hmm.
- Mmm.Copy !req
245. She just got done
being a slave.Copy !req
246. She wants to go back to China.Copy !req
247. We can't force her
to stay here and be our maid.Copy !req
248. Who's forcing her?
We'll pay whatever she wants.Copy !req
249. And the best part is, with her résumé,
any wage will look good.Copy !req
250. No way, baby. Mm.Copy !req
251. - Hmm.
- What?Copy !req
252. What?Copy !req
253. What, so you don't get
what you want, you walk off and pout?Copy !req
254. Oh, this isn't about me.
This is about our great nation.Copy !req
255. I have no intention of satisfying
a man who isn't willingCopy !req
256. to stand up for and help spread
the ideals and valuesCopy !req
257. of the United States of America.Copy !req
258. Sometimes she is a little hard
to stomach, but she means well.Copy !req
259. - There she is!
- Hi!Copy !req
260. I came as soon as
I got your message. Is this?Copy !req
261. This is Gary Grantham,
your future ex-husband.Copy !req
262. - Wow. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.Copy !req
263. I've gotta meet a client.
I've gotta go.Copy !req
264. So just talk amongst yourselves, and
you two make a very handsome couple.Copy !req
265. Yeah. Yeah. Uh...Copy !req
266. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
267. So do you wanna get married
on Wednesday?Copy !req
268. Cos Thursday and Friday,
I'm out of town.Copy !req
269. Oh, yeah, sure.
Wednesday's great.Copy !req
270. I'm just curious.Copy !req
271. How did Edie convince you
to do this so quickly?Copy !req
272. She explained your situation.
I'm in need of a fake bride.Copy !req
273. - So I figured, "What the heck?"
- Why would you need a fake bride?Copy !req
274. I'm gay. And I've never
come out to my mother.Copy !req
275. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
276. At first I just
didn't want to upset her.Copy !req
277. Then she got older,
got emphysema and diverticulitis.Copy !req
278. I started thinking
if I just kept my mouth shut,Copy !req
279. one day nature would take
its course, and we could avoidCopy !req
280. what was sure to be
a very ugly scene.Copy !req
281. So, what changed?Copy !req
282. She told me at her 81 st
birthday party last month,Copy !req
283. the only reason she's hanging on
is to see me get married.Copy !req
284. Oh. Oh, so by marrying me...Copy !req
285. Yeah, I get my inheritance
that much sooner.Copy !req
286. But mostly I want to
make sure she's happy.Copy !req
287. Well, you seem very nice, Susan.Copy !req
288. It will be a pleasure
being married to you.Copy !req
289. Uh, likewise.Copy !req
290. You can finish
the rest of the fries.Copy !req
291. Here's your mail and your pills.Copy !req
292. Oh! More pills.Copy !req
293. Miss Tillman?Copy !req
294. Where did this come from?Copy !req
295. I don't know.
It was in with your other mail.Copy !req
296. Get me the phone.Copy !req
297. Sullivan, it's me.Copy !req
298. I just got some news,
and I need to get you involved.Copy !req
299. Looks like Delfino's
been holding out on me.Copy !req
300. The next morning,
Bree came up with the planCopy !req
301. to get to the truth
she so desperately needed.Copy !req
302. As she watched the Applewhites
leave their house,Copy !req
303. she thought of how much
she had trusted the previous owners.Copy !req
304. And how much
they had trusted her.Copy !req
305. Caleb, is that you?Copy !req
306. Hi. I'm Bree.Copy !req
307. I live down the street.Copy !req
308. I'm a friend of your mother's.Copy !req
309. - She's not home.
- I know. Um...Copy !req
310. - I came to see you.
- Me?Copy !req
311. Yes. Your mother told me
all about you.Copy !req
312. And I thought it might be nice
if we had a little visit.Copy !req
313. I brought you
some homemade cobbler.Copy !req
314. Right here.
Follow the doughnut, people.Copy !req
315. Here we go.
We got the people. Come on.Copy !req
316. - What's going on?
- Well...Copy !req
317. Ed bet Tom that he wouldn't
eat a doughnut out of the toilet!Copy !req
318. - I can't believe it.
- Isn't it disgusting?Copy !req
319. Uh, uh, uh!
No, it's gotta be fully dunked.Copy !req
320. I don't want the glaze
to repel the water.Copy !req
321. Slight delay.
I'm requesting a scrub-down.Copy !req
322. Does anybody know
where they keep the toilet brush?Copy !req
323. Just for one second. I never thought
I'd have to ask you this,Copy !req
324. are you eating a doughnut
from the toilet?Copy !req
325. Yeah. For the Galveston
Jewellers account.Copy !req
326. I don't care.
You're not gonna do this.Copy !req
327. You told me to find
a way to click with Ed.Copy !req
328. Well, now we've got our thing.
And it's paying off for me.Copy !req
329. Because Ed gets off
on humiliating you.Copy !req
330. Please, don't do this.Copy !req
331. We're waiting, Scavo.Copy !req
332. This is my moment.Copy !req
333. So, Caleb,
besides your mother and brother,Copy !req
334. does anybody else know
that you're here?Copy !req
335. No.Copy !req
336. You're pretty.Copy !req
337. Thank you.
That's very sweet.Copy !req
338. So where have you been living
this whole time, upstairs?Copy !req
339. No. I just moved upstairs.Copy !req
340. - My room's downstairs.
- Downstairs?Copy !req
341. In the basement.Copy !req
342. You want to see it?Copy !req
343. Caleb, have you been down here
all these months?Copy !req
344. Yeah.Copy !req
345. Did your mother
make you wear those?Copy !req
346. Most of the time.Copy !req
347. Oh, my God.Copy !req
348. Sweetheart, I don't understand.Copy !req
349. Why in the world would your mother
treat you that way?Copy !req
350. - I hurt a girl.
- A girl?Copy !req
351. Yeah.Copy !req
352. And then she died.Copy !req
353. Oh.Copy !req
354. Her name was Melanie.Copy !req
355. She was pretty.Copy !req
356. Just like you.Copy !req
357. Hi.Copy !req
358. I thought you should know
I'm getting married.Copy !req
359. - To the doctor?
- No! No.Copy !req
360. No, to a gay guy.Copy !req
361. - How did you know about the doctor?
- People talk.Copy !req
362. - You're marrying a gay guy?
- I need health insuranceCopy !req
363. because I've got this wandering spleen,
and... that sounds funny.Copy !req
364. "Spleen, wandering,"
but actually, it's not funny,Copy !req
365. because it can bang into things.Copy !req
366. So I need health insurance,
so I'm getting married tomorrow.Copy !req
367. You probably think I'm crazy, right?Copy !req
368. Well, can it wait? The surgery?Copy !req
369. No. It can't wait.Copy !req
370. Guess it's really not that crazy.Copy !req
371. How're you doing, ma'am?Copy !req
372. - Could you just give me a minute?
- Oh, yeah. No, I'm sorry.Copy !req
373. That was really it.Copy !req
374. - What do you want?
- It's not what I want, Delfino.Copy !req
375. It's what Noah Taylor wants.
Where's his grandkid?Copy !req
376. Let's skip the part where you don't
know anything about anything.Copy !req
377. Mr Taylor wants to chat.Copy !req
378. What if I say no?Copy !req
379. Then I've got to
find the kid myself.Copy !req
380. My guess is he or she
is somewhere around here close.Copy !req
381. Your old girlfriend,
she's got a daughter, right?Copy !req
382. Maybe I should start
by paying her a visit.Copy !req
383. - Her daughter's not the one.
- Yeah, well,Copy !req
384. given your track record, I might want
to check that out for myself.Copy !req
385. Tell him I'll be there
in the morning.Copy !req
386. Oh.Copy !req
387. So pretty.Copy !req
388. You like nice things?Copy !req
389. That's why I think you're stupid
for not wanting to stay here.Copy !req
390. You could be around
my nice things all the time,Copy !req
391. taking care of them.Copy !req
392. How fun would that be?Copy !req
393. Well, I'm sure it's a lot more fun
than you'd haveCopy !req
394. in that tiny godforsaken
village of yours.Copy !req
395. You know, we're probably more
alike than people would guess.Copy !req
396. I'm from a small town too.Copy !req
397. My folks had nothing.Copy !req
398. That's why I love America.
Anything is possible.Copy !req
399. Oh!Copy !req
400. Mm. You like that?Copy !req
401. Well, an old, fat stockbroker
gave this to me.Copy !req
402. Well, an old, fat stockbroker
gave this to me.Copy !req
403. It's not worth anything.
You can have it.Copy !req
404. Oh!Copy !req
405. OK. Glad you like it.Copy !req
406. You can brush my hair.Copy !req
407. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
408. It's the best I could do
on such short notice.Copy !req
409. - OK.
- OK.Copy !req
410. Oh, Susan, this is my best man, Steven.
He's also my life partner.Copy !req
411. Oh, hi. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
412. Baby, be... be nice.Copy !req
413. - I'm sorry you have cancer.
- Cancer?Copy !req
414. Isn't that the point
of this whole charade?Copy !req
415. Gary said you needed insurance.Copy !req
416. Yes. No. I do need insurance,
I just don't have cancer.Copy !req
417. I have a wandering spleen.Copy !req
418. I said it was like cancer.Copy !req
419. Is there a problem?Copy !req
420. No. Everything's fine.
Let's just go to the chapel, shall we?Copy !req
421. I made a wedding cake.Copy !req
422. I hope you enjoy it.Copy !req
423. Oh! Uh...Copy !req
424. So... are we ready to get started?Copy !req
425. Do you have a thing
to play music?Copy !req
426. I had Steven burn
a little wedding mix for us,Copy !req
427. - for ambiance.
- Sure. Just give me a sec.Copy !req
428. Do you have a problem?Copy !req
429. You said she was sick!Copy !req
430. She is.
She has a wandering spleen.Copy !req
431. It sounds nothing like cancer.
It doesn't even sound real.Copy !req
432. - Well, it is. I could die.
- You look fine to me, honey.Copy !req
433. Don't do this.Copy !req
434. I have asked you six times to fly
with me to Holland and get married,Copy !req
435. and you always have
some lame excuse.Copy !req
436. But the second some chick
with a silly disease comes along,Copy !req
437. you drop everything
and head for a chapel.Copy !req
438. No, it's a serious illness.Copy !req
439. It sounds silly
because of the word "spleen."Copy !req
440. - What do you want?
- You to worry about my feelingsCopy !req
441. as much as you worry
about your mother's.Copy !req
442. What will make you happy?
Not have the wedding?Copy !req
443. - Is that what you're asking?
- No, stop right there.Copy !req
444. I would love to see you two crazy kids
get hitched in Holland more than anyone.Copy !req
445. The tulips, the clogs, in front
of a windmill, the whole shebang.Copy !req
446. But unless I get this surgery,Copy !req
447. my spleen is going to slam
straight into my heart and explode.Copy !req
448. Seeing as how I'm just a nice person
and I always support gay rights,Copy !req
449. let's just do this.Copy !req
450. Then I'll have a husband
and insurance, and nobody gets hurt.Copy !req
451. Come on. Steven...Copy !req
452. Steven!Copy !req
453. - He's just...
- Yeah.Copy !req
454. I'm so sorry. My hands are tied.
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
455. Steven, wait! Steven! Where are
you going? What are you doing?Copy !req
456. I finally got
the sound system working.Copy !req
457. Where's the groom?Copy !req
458. Hey, Susie Q.Copy !req
459. What's wrong? For a newlywed,
you don't have much spring in your step.Copy !req
460. - I didn't get married.
- Really?Copy !req
461. I got to the altar, but the whole
fake wedding thing sort of imploded.Copy !req
462. Wow.Copy !req
463. I'm sorry.Copy !req
464. I still don't have insurance.Copy !req
465. I need to get that operation. I'm...Copy !req
466. I'm really screwed.Copy !req
467. Well...Copy !req
468. why don't I just marry you?
- What?Copy !req
469. I've got a fantastic health plan.
You'd be covered instantly.Copy !req
470. No... we were actually married.Copy !req
471. Look, I've always felt awfulCopy !req
472. Look, I've always felt awfulCopy !req
473. about walking out on you
the way I did.Copy !req
474. And I figure if we do this,Copy !req
475. I'd basically be
saving your life.Copy !req
476. I figure I owe you one.Copy !req
477. Karl...Copy !req
478. So, what do you say?Copy !req
479. Will you marry me,
Susan Mayer?Copy !req
480. Again?Copy !req
481. What the hell.Copy !req
482. Cool.Copy !req
483. - What about Edie?
- We can't tell her.Copy !req
484. - She'd kill us both.
- It'd be our little secret.Copy !req
485. We've really enjoyed
having you as a guest. Right?Copy !req
486. Absolutely.Copy !req
487. Xiao Mei, you are a very special girl.
So... so you take care, OK?Copy !req
488. Oh!Copy !req
489. - Thanks for all your help.
- My pleasure, Father.Copy !req
490. - Bye-bye.
- Ladies...Copy !req
491. Don't tell me you're crying, because
you can't have the maid you want.Copy !req
492. Carlos, she wouldn't
have been just a maid.Copy !req
493. She would have been
the best damn maid ever.Copy !req
494. - God, you're pathetic.
- Shut up.Copy !req
495. Hey. Something's going on.Copy !req
496. Father Crowley!Copy !req
497. Is there a problem?Copy !req
498. Xiao Mei doesn't want
to go back to China.Copy !req
499. She wants to stay here
and work for you.Copy !req
500. What? Why?Copy !req
501. She says Mrs Solis treated her with
more kindness than she's ever known.Copy !req
502. She now thinks
of you two as family.Copy !req
503. Oh, really?Copy !req
504. Oh, of course, you can stay!Copy !req
505. Oh!Copy !req
506. Gabby...Copy !req
507. Carlos, she thinks of us as family.Copy !req
508. I'm ready for those Farm Fresh concepts.
Conference room in five...Copy !req
509. toilet boy!Copy !req
510. - You're not allowed to complain.
- You were right.Copy !req
511. I'm known throughout
the advertising world as "toilet boy."Copy !req
512. Tell him you're done with games.
You don't want to play anymore.Copy !req
513. I can't. If I back down now
he'll see it as a sign of weakness.Copy !req
514. This is the way
that guys do business.Copy !req
515. - But...
- So he called it.Copy !req
516. He made me his bitch.Copy !req
517. Come on.Copy !req
518. Here you go.Copy !req
519. I've been thinking, we've had
a lot of fun around here lately,Copy !req
520. but maybe it's time to set a slightly
more professional tone in the office.Copy !req
521. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
522. - Somebody went running to mommy?
- What?Copy !req
523. Tom loses a few bets, so he tries
to get his wife to make me back off?Copy !req
524. Oh, this is so Alpha Tau.Copy !req
525. I am gonna make him pay.Copy !req
526. No. No, you're not gonna make him pay.Copy !req
527. You're gonna stop this now.Copy !req
528. This is my company.Copy !req
529. If people want to work here,
they play by my rules.Copy !req
530. Uh... Ed!Copy !req
531. What?Copy !req
532. - I'm calling you out.
- Huh?Copy !req
533. Yes, this is your company,
so I'll play by your rules.Copy !req
534. What do I have to do to get you
to stop this frat boy crap?Copy !req
535. Shave my eyebrows?
Come to work naked? Name your stakes.Copy !req
536. - I don't have time for this.
- Aw, what's wrong, Ed?Copy !req
537. Afraid a Phi Kapp's
gonna be beat by a girl?Copy !req
538. Come on, big man.Copy !req
539. It's just a little bet.Copy !req
540. As you know, I think that making
the workplace fun is good for morale.Copy !req
541. But Lynette here thinks
that our shenanigansCopy !req
542. have gotten a little out of hand.Copy !req
543. Ah...Copy !req
544. Hold on, hold on.
I respect Lynette's work ethic.Copy !req
545. So we've decided to settle the matterCopy !req
546. with a little test
of intestinal fortitude.Copy !req
547. If she can eat one poundCopy !req
548. of our client's fine
Farm Fresh pork product raw...Copy !req
549. there will be a moratorium
on wagering in the office.Copy !req
550. You're doing this for me.
You don't need to.Copy !req
551. - I don't need you fighting my fights.
- I am not.Copy !req
552. This is my fight.
This is how guys do business, right?Copy !req
553. I gotta see this.Copy !req
554. This is so disgusting.Copy !req
555. We're counting on you.Copy !req
556. While we're young.Copy !req
557. Go, girl.Copy !req
558. No shame in defeat, Lynette.Copy !req
559. No shame at all.Copy !req
560. Oh, this is too much.Copy !req
561. Ohh!Copy !req
562. Ahh.Copy !req
563. What? She took the bet!Copy !req
564. This is fun, people!Copy !req
565. - She has one more.
- Uhh.Copy !req
566. Ooh!Copy !req
567. So...Copy !req
568. can this be a place
of business again, Ed?Copy !req
569. No more games?Copy !req
570. Sure.Copy !req
571. You sucked all the fun
out of it, anyway.Copy !req
572. - Gotta get back to work.
- Let's get out of here.Copy !req
573. That was really something.Copy !req
574. Thanks.Copy !req
575. Could you scrounge me up a bucket?Copy !req
576. Caleb said a nice red-haired lady
came to visit him.Copy !req
577. Come on in, Betty.Copy !req
578. Get you a drink?Copy !req
579. This is not a social call.Copy !req
580. Did you or did you not
break into my home and talk to my son?Copy !req
581. Caleb and I had
a very lovely chat, yes.Copy !req
582. If you come near him again,
there will be hell to pay.Copy !req
583. Do you understand?Copy !req
584. Aren't you gonna ask me
what we talked about?Copy !req
585. The name, um...
Melanie Foster came up.Copy !req
586. I'm gonna pour you a drink now, Betty,Copy !req
587. because we're about to have
a very honest discussion,Copy !req
588. and I think you're gonna need
a little help getting through it.Copy !req
589. His name is Zach Young.
He lives with his father.Copy !req
590. Mother committed suicide
about a year ago.Copy !req
591. How did he end up
with these people?Copy !req
592. How do you think?
Deirdre was strung out.Copy !req
593. She gave him up.Copy !req
594. I want to see this boy.Copy !req
595. He's got a family. I can't snap
my fingers and get him here.Copy !req
596. But I can snap my fingers, and Detective
Sullivan can make it happen.Copy !req
597. - You don't want to.
- No?Copy !req
598. Is that the way you want to meet him?
Have that thug drag him hereCopy !req
599. so Grandpa can give him a hug?Copy !req
600. Fine, you bring him.
I'll give you two days.Copy !req
601. As you know,
I'm on a bit of a clock here.Copy !req
602. When Caleb was born,Copy !req
603. and the doctors discovered
that he was different,Copy !req
604. I didn't even cry.Copy !req
605. It was the most painful
moment of my life.Copy !req
606. I didn't shed a single tear.Copy !req
607. I just thought to myself,
"What's the point?Copy !req
608. He is my son,Copy !req
609. and I have to raise him
as best I can.Copy !req
610. Now, that's my job."Copy !req
611. In a lot of ways,
I feel so blessed.Copy !req
612. Caleb is challenged,
but he has such a sweet nature.Copy !req
613. I'm sure you noticed that
when you came to visit.Copy !req
614. Yes, I did.Copy !req
615. I also noticed that you had
him chained in the basement.Copy !req
616. That's because of Melanie Foster.Copy !req
617. Melanie was a girl
that Matthew dated.Copy !req
618. She was a debutante.Copy !req
619. And like typical teenagers,Copy !req
620. their relationship
was full of drama.Copy !req
621. They were always breaking up,
getting back together, breaking up.Copy !req
622. One night, after one
of their big blowups,Copy !req
623. Caleb somehow convinced MelanieCopy !req
624. to meet him down
at our local lumberyard.Copy !req
625. I can only imagine
that she thought he was bringingCopy !req
626. some kind of apology
from Matthew.Copy !req
627. But he wasn't.Copy !req
628. Caleb told Melanie
he was in love with herCopy !req
629. and that if he was her boyfriend,
he would never break up with her.Copy !req
630. And she laughed in his face.Copy !req
631. He tried to show her
he was serious by kissing her.Copy !req
632. And she hit him.Copy !req
633. He doesn't remember
a lot after that.Copy !req
634. But he does know
that he got very, very angry and...Copy !req
635. And that there was an ax
lying on the ground nearby him.Copy !req
636. Yes, my Caleb killed Melanie.Copy !req
637. But I couldn't let him go to jail.Copy !req
638. Or worse, be put down,Copy !req
639. for what was really my crime.Copy !req
640. Your crime?Copy !req
641. It was my responsibility.Copy !req
642. I was supposed
to protect him from himself.Copy !req
643. I am his mother.Copy !req
644. That was my job.Copy !req
645. The world is filled
with unlikely friendships.Copy !req
646. How do they begin?Copy !req
647. With one person desperately in needCopy !req
648. and another willing
to lend a helping hand.Copy !req
649. When such kindness is offered,
we're finally able to see the worthCopy !req
650. of those we had
previously written off.Copy !req
651. And before we know it,Copy !req
652. a bond has formed,Copy !req
653. regardless of whether
others can understand it.Copy !req
654. Yes, unlikely friendships
start up every day.Copy !req
655. No one understands this
more than the lonely.Copy !req
656. In fact, it's what they count on.Copy !req