1. - Previously on Desperate Housewives.
- What is it you hired me to do?Copy !req
2. That was sent to my wife.
I need to know who.Copy !req
3. Some secrets were discovered.Copy !req
4. After Mom died, I started
remembering about Dana.Copy !req
5. - Dana?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
6. Some secrets were uncovered.Copy !req
7. She could be having
an affair with anyone.Copy !req
8. Don't worry.
I'm not letting her out of my sight.Copy !req
9. - And some secrets...
- Jordana Geist gets her work done.Copy !req
10. - How do you cram it all in?
- ... were shared.Copy !req
11. That's ADD medication.Copy !req
12. Competition. It means different things
to different people.Copy !req
13. In suburbia,
it means keeping up with the Joneses.Copy !req
14. On Wisteria Lane, that means
keeping up with Bree Van De Kamp.Copy !req
15. Everyone knew Bree had
the nicest lawn in the neighborhood.Copy !req
16. And no one begrudged her this.Copy !req
17. No one, that is, except Martha Huber,Copy !req
18. whose own lawn paled in comparison.Copy !req
19. No matter how carefully she trimmed,Copy !req
20. or how lovingly she watered...Copy !req
21. or how generously she fertilized,Copy !req
22. the grass was always greener
on the other side of the fence.Copy !req
23. Hello, Victor. How are you today?Copy !req
24. - Out jogging again?
- I can't catch my breath.Copy !req
25. Would you like a slurp from my hose?Copy !req
26. Victor?Copy !req
27. Don't worry.
I'm gonna get an ambulance.Copy !req
28. Then one day, Mrs. Huber finally got
the chance to mow down the competition.Copy !req
29. Help! Somebody help!Copy !req
30. What happened?Copy !req
31. He collapsed on your hydrangeas.
Call 911!Copy !req
32. Yes, Mrs. Huber understood
the first rule of competition:Copy !req
33. In order to win,
you have to want it more.Copy !req
34. When I was alive, my friends and I
came together once a monthCopy !req
35. for a meeting
of the Wisteria Lane Book Club.Copy !req
36. We found the problems
of literary characters so absorbing.Copy !req
37. The way they dealt with adversity,Copy !req
38. conducted illicit affairs,Copy !req
39. endured domestic dramas,Copy !req
40. and planned romantic conquests.Copy !req
41. But since my death, my friends
had lost their interest in fiction.Copy !req
42. So, what did everybody think?Copy !req
43. Their own problems
had become absorbing enough.Copy !req
44. I thought the character
of Madame Bovary was very inspirational.Copy !req
45. Inspirational?
She poisons herself with arsenic.Copy !req
46. - Really?
- You didn't read until the end?Copy !req
47. I stopped after page 50.Copy !req
48. - Am I the only one who read the book?
- I saw the movie. It was good.Copy !req
49. Ladies, I'm sorry, but
what is the point of having a book clubCopy !req
50. if we don't read the book?Copy !req
51. - More wine?
- Always.Copy !req
52. Sue, Reba, Emma and Lori, would you
girls come and help me with the snacks?Copy !req
53. Sure.Copy !req
54. I will be right in.Copy !req
55. God, I couldn't wait to get rid of them!Copy !req
56. OK, so Lynette said
that you found Zach.Copy !req
57. He's at a rehabilitation center.
Julie snuck in and talked to him.Copy !req
58. He mentioned his mother's suicide?Copy !req
59. There wasn't time.
He did say something mysterious.Copy !req
60. He said something happened
to someone named DanaCopy !req
61. and that he could never talk about it.Copy !req
62. - Who's Dana?
- That's the mystery.Copy !req
63. Dana must have something to do
with what Mary Alice was trying to hide.Copy !req
64. Somebody found out her secret...Copy !req
65. - And sent the note.
- So who the hell is that?Copy !req
66. Stationery is Parcher No.17.
100% cotton.Copy !req
67. It's made by Cyprus Office Products.Copy !req
68. They have stores in 12 cities,
including yours.Copy !req
69. The postmark
is from your local post office.Copy !req
70. Meaning?Copy !req
71. The blackmailer's probably
someone you know.Copy !req
72. A neighbor, milkman,
pool boy, soccer mom.Copy !req
73. Soccer mom?Copy !req
74. Mr. Young,
sometimes evil drives a minivan.Copy !req
75. I had this gig once,Copy !req
76. checking on this P.T.A. mom who was
hell-bent on landing her daughterCopy !req
77. a spot on the parade float.Copy !req
78. She fed antifreeze
to half the homecoming committee.Copy !req
79. - Did you catch her?
- Mr. Young...Copy !req
80. The people who hired me
didn't hire me to catch her.Copy !req
81. Wow, honey!
This place looks spotless.Copy !req
82. Thanks.Copy !req
83. So I have come up with this killer idea
for the Spotless Scrub campaign.Copy !req
84. - Great. Want to run it by me?
- No. I'm good.Copy !req
85. - But thanks.
- OK.Copy !req
86. You know how whenever I pitch
Hennessey always tears my ideas down?Copy !req
87. I invited the partners and their wives
over so I could pitch to them here.Copy !req
88. I thought we could make
a formal dinner for six...Copy !req
89. When exactly would this take place?Copy !req
90. - The day after tomorrow.
- Tom!Copy !req
91. - I know it's short notice.
- You think?Copy !req
92. How can I pull off a formal dinner
with no warning?Copy !req
93. Bree Van De Kamp
does this kind of thing all the time.Copy !req
94. - What did you say?
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.Copy !req
95. Forget it. I'll call and cancel.
Just don't worry about it.Copy !req
96. No, let's do it.Copy !req
97. Really?Copy !req
98. Yeah. It's good for your career.
I'll pull it off.Copy !req
99. Yes! Honey, thank you.Copy !req
100. I promise, I land this account and I am
gonna buy you something awful pretty.Copy !req
101. Luckily for Tom,
Lynette had a recipe for success.Copy !req
102. Unfortunately for her,
she was missing the secret ingredient.Copy !req
103. - Yeah.
- It's me.Copy !req
104. Don't! My mother-in-law can see you.Copy !req
105. - I hate that she's watching us.
- Meet me at the motel in an hour.Copy !req
106. - I've got plans.
- So cancel.Copy !req
107. They're with Danielle.
We're going to the movies.Copy !req
108. - That sounds like a date.
- Yeah.Copy !req
109. I have a problem
with you seeing other girls.Copy !req
110. I have a problem with you having a
husband. We both have to learn to deal.Copy !req
111. Don't even try to make it up to me
by talking dirty.Copy !req
112. Hello?Copy !req
113. Mr. and Mrs. Van De Kamp.Copy !req
114. So, your son decided to entertain
some of his friends yesterdayCopy !req
115. by shoving a freshman's head
into a locker.Copy !req
116. - The Johnson boy?
- Yes. He broke the boy's nose.Copy !req
117. Because of our no tolerance policy,
he faces expulsion.Copy !req
118. You'd ruin his future
over roughhousing?Copy !req
119. Rex, this was practically assault.Copy !req
120. Mrs. Stark,
what Andrew did was clearly wrong.Copy !req
121. But his mother and I are going
through severe marital problems.Copy !req
122. - Is that relevant?
- Our marriage is disintegrating.Copy !req
123. Of course Andrew is acting out.
He's angry.Copy !req
124. If he's angry about you moving out,
he should shove your head into a locker.Copy !req
125. All I'm saying is we need to take
some of the responsibility here.Copy !req
126. So does Andrew.
Blaming his actions on our problems,Copy !req
127. which are not serious,
does not help him.Copy !req
128. - Our problems are serious.
- Handle this however you see fit.Copy !req
129. Bree, I've gone to an attorney.Copy !req
130. You're gonna be served
with divorce papers later today.Copy !req
131. - You went to an attorney?
- Yeah.Copy !req
132. And a good one, too.Copy !req
133. He'd better be, 'cause when I'm finished
with you, you won't have a cent.Copy !req
134. Bring it on.Copy !req
135. Perhaps detention is the way to go.Copy !req
136. Mom, you're getting too dressed up.Copy !req
137. I know, but I wanna look really sexy.Copy !req
138. I told Mike I expect him
to have you home by 11.00.Copy !req
139. - Midnight?
- All right, but no later.Copy !req
140. You know how I worry.
So, you got protection?Copy !req
141. Oh, my God!
We are so not having this conversation.Copy !req
142. We are, because I enjoy
being an only child.Copy !req
143. - Are you finished?
- Almost.Copy !req
144. I always assumed I'd have sex for
the first time before you had it again.Copy !req
145. OK, you can leave now.Copy !req
146. What do you think? Trying too hard?Copy !req
147. What do you know? It's 80 degrees
outside and you're wearing fur.Copy !req
148. Hiya, Mike.Copy !req
149. Hey, Edie.Copy !req
150. Get a load of you!
You look so pretty!Copy !req
151. - I hardly recognize you.
- This?Copy !req
152. Well, I have a date.
Right now. With Mike.Copy !req
153. We kissed, FYI.Copy !req
154. Love that jacket. Good choice.Copy !req
155. Susan, I am really sorry,
but I've got to cancel.Copy !req
156. I have an unexpected house guest.Copy !req
157. Coming through. Ooh, sorry.
Hi. I'm Kendra.Copy !req
158. - Susan.
- I'm gonna get my stuff.Copy !req
159. I know how this looks,
but there's nothing between us.Copy !req
160. - Kendra's just an old friend.
- Old friend.Copy !req
161. - Yeah, you know...
- Yeah.Copy !req
162. No, actually, no, I don't know.Copy !req
163. By old friend you mean college pal?
Saved you from drowning?Copy !req
164. - It's hard to explain.
- Could you give it a shot?Copy !req
165. Mike, I'm gonna go upstairs
and take a shower.Copy !req
166. Look, I promise
I'll make this up to you.Copy !req
167. - And you look amazing.
- Mike! Where are the towels?Copy !req
168. Thanks.Copy !req
169. Hey. How was your big date?Copy !req
170. Mike had to reschedule.Copy !req
171. Oh. Because of the hot girl?Copy !req
172. With the suitcase? Over there?Copy !req
173. Gosh, how devastating for you... FYI.Copy !req
174. I just want to move this place fast.
I'll do whatever we have to do.Copy !req
175. That's good to know.Copy !req
176. You'll have to disclose the fact that
your wife killed herself in the house.Copy !req
177. - I will?
- Yeah. Legal crap.Copy !req
178. People get really freaked out
by suicides.Copy !req
179. You can't blame them. Hell.
I get the willies just standing here.Copy !req
180. - Is there any way to get around it?
- Off the record?Copy !req
181. Yeah.Copy !req
182. You could say that she shot herself
in the living roomCopy !req
183. and then crawled out back to die.Copy !req
184. I'm just saying.Copy !req
185. I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow.Copy !req
186. Edie, wait!Copy !req
187. Paul had always knownCopy !req
188. Edie Britt was capable
of doing anything to close a deal.Copy !req
189. But now he realized
she was capable of so much more.Copy !req
190. - Hey, Danielle.
- Hey, Mrs. Solis.Copy !req
191. Danielle, remember when you said
you wanted to be a model?Copy !req
192. You remember? That was last summer.Copy !req
193. Perchik Modeling Academy has
an opening for their summer program.Copy !req
194. - Would you like me to sponsor you?
- That's one of the best schools.Copy !req
195. - You would do that for me?
- I sure would.Copy !req
196. I would so love to go to New York.Copy !req
197. And I would so love
to help you get there.Copy !req
198. - Hey, Jordana.
- Hey, Lynette. How are you?Copy !req
199. You look a little tired.
Is everything OK?Copy !req
200. I'm getting ready for
a dinner party tomorrow. Six people.Copy !req
201. - Sounds fun.
- Big fun.Copy !req
202. You wouldn't have any of your kids'
ADD medication you could spare,Copy !req
203. - just to get me over the hump?
- Tina! Don't push your sister.Copy !req
204. Gosh, Lynette...
I'm really running low.Copy !req
205. I need all my energy I can get.Copy !req
206. My sister Elaine and her kids
are flying into town for a week.Copy !req
207. That's exciting.
I wish my sister would visit more often.Copy !req
208. Yeah, sisters are great.Copy !req
209. Three or four pills.
I'm hitting the wall.Copy !req
210. Yeah, the comedown can be a real bitch.
I wish I could help.Copy !req
211. - I'm not gonna forget about this.
- What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
212. Come Girl Scout cookie time,
don't bring around little TinaCopy !req
213. because we won't be home.Copy !req
214. What's all this about?Copy !req
215. You know your mother and I
have been unhappy for a while.Copy !req
216. We've decided that it would be better
if we got divorced.Copy !req
217. But whatever problems we have,Copy !req
218. it doesn't change the fact
that we love you very, very much.Copy !req
219. - I've got a question.
- Go ahead. Ask whatever you want.Copy !req
220. Can I live with Dad?Copy !req
221. Come on, Mom, let's face it.
We drive each other crazy.Copy !req
222. Danielle, would you prefer
to live with your father?Copy !req
223. I don't really care,
as long as I have my own bathroom.Copy !req
224. All this wine is giving me a headache.Copy !req
225. Six weeks in the suburban jungle,
and this is all you got?Copy !req
226. There are over 300 families
in this subdivision.Copy !req
227. It'll take time to check 'em all out.Copy !req
228. - Dad said you were ready to quit.
- I changed my mind.Copy !req
229. This is a gigantic waste
of your time and my father's money.Copy !req
230. Are you afraid
he'll spend your inheritance?Copy !req
231. That's not funny.Copy !req
232. - Mike, here's the thing.
- What?Copy !req
233. Dad can't chase ghosts alone.Copy !req
234. If you stop,
he'll have to accept it's over.Copy !req
235. Let me have my father back.Copy !req
236. If I quit he'll just hire somebody else.Copy !req
237. Not if you tell him
there's nothing here to find.Copy !req
238. I can't do that.Copy !req
239. What happens when
your girlfriend finds outCopy !req
240. you're not just the sweet,
neighborly plumber?Copy !req
241. You're lying to her, Mike.Copy !req
242. Here it is.Copy !req
243. Great.
This'll keep the crab dip warm.Copy !req
244. It took forever
to shell the little buggers.Copy !req
245. You shelled your own crabs?Copy !req
246. Are you doing too much?
'cause you look exhausted.Copy !req
247. I'm fine. I just need some coffee.
Thank you.Copy !req
248. Oh, my God! Look at this embroidery!Copy !req
249. "Dana." Where did this come from?Copy !req
250. Paul Young's garage sale.Copy !req
251. Dana.Copy !req
252. Dana was a baby.Copy !req
253. Surprise.Copy !req
254. - No way!
- It's all yours. Here are the keys.Copy !req
255. - Rex, what's this about?
- I went and splurged a little.Copy !req
256. Danielle, here's your present.Copy !req
257. - Luggage?
- Yeah.Copy !req
258. To take to the Perchik Modeling
Academy. I'm footing the bill.Copy !req
259. - I can go to New York?
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
260. - What's this about a modeling academy?
- Mrs. Solis is sponsoring me.Copy !req
261. When were you planning on telling me?Copy !req
262. I think it's a great idea.Copy !req
263. Don't you two see when he's doing?
He's trying to buy your love.Copy !req
264. For God's sake. Don't be paranoid.Copy !req
265. A car? A modeling academy?Copy !req
266. You should have discussed these gifts
with me first. We cannot accept them.Copy !req
267. You can't let her do this.Copy !req
268. We just told the kids
we're getting divorced.Copy !req
269. - It's time to spoil them a little.
- I said no.Copy !req
270. You know what? They're my kids too,
and I can give them anything I want.Copy !req
271. There you go.Copy !req
272. - Thank you, Daddy.
- Yes.Copy !req
273. Did you offer to help Danielle
get into modeling school?Copy !req
274. What? Yes... No.
Is that how she heard it?Copy !req
275. Yes. Gabrielle, did you
or did you not offer to sponsor her?Copy !req
276. - I just wanted to help out.
- It's in New York!Copy !req
277. Why would you suggest that?Copy !req
278. It's her dream.
Don't you want her to be happy?Copy !req
279. No. And I would appreciate you keeping
your ridiculous ideas to yourself.Copy !req
280. Bree!Copy !req
281. John.Copy !req
282. You're so jealous of Danielle
you tried to ship her off?Copy !req
283. I'm not jealous.
I just don't like to share.Copy !req
284. Well, you know what? I quit.
The yard. Us. Everything.Copy !req
285. Don't be that way.Copy !req
286. What's the point, if we can never
be together? An hour here and there.Copy !req
287. I don't want us to end on a bad note.
Carlos has this black tie thing...Copy !req
288. - Mrs. Solis!
- John, please.Copy !req
289. What we had was so special.Copy !req
290. I think it deserves a proper goodbye.Copy !req
291. We'd still be over, though.Copy !req
292. Of course.Copy !req
293. - I knew this was a good idea.
- Thank you for suggesting it.Copy !req
294. Your boys are the only ones
who could tire out Timmy.Copy !req
295. Yep, he's a feisty one.Copy !req
296. Word on the street is,
you medicate Timmy.Copy !req
297. Yeah. For his ADD.Copy !req
298. - The pills have been a godsend.
- I bet.Copy !req
299. Can I use your bathroom?Copy !req
300. As Lynette swallowed the stolen
medication of an eight-year-old child,Copy !req
301. she vowed she'd never again
sink to such depths.Copy !req
302. Any time soon.Copy !req
303. Looks like you've got your blackmailer.Copy !req
304. - Is it time to bring in the police?
- That's not really an option for me.Copy !req
305. Before my wife shot herself,
we lived a life that I was proud of.Copy !req
306. We loved each other.
We had values. We went to church.Copy !req
307. We gave to charity.
We were good people, Mr. Shaw.Copy !req
308. I believe you.Copy !req
309. That's why it's so incomprehensible
that Edie Britt would try to destroy us.Copy !req
310. Well, you've suffered a great loss.Copy !req
311. For your pain to heal,
that's gonna take some time.Copy !req
312. I can't wait.Copy !req
313. I need help now.Copy !req
314. For five grand she's hurt,
ten grand she's gone.Copy !req
315. - Mom, what's going on?
- I'm throwing you out.Copy !req
316. I've separated all your things.Copy !req
317. This side is yours, Danielle,
and the other one is Andrew's.Copy !req
318. - OK, you've lost it.
- Where are we supposed to live?Copy !req
319. I don't know. Everything in the north
quadrant of yours is clothes and books.Copy !req
320. The south side are miscellaneous items.Copy !req
321. Mom, this isn't gonna work.
I'm not giving up my car.Copy !req
322. That's smart. You'll probably
have to sleep in it for a while.Copy !req
323. You can't stop us
from going inside the house.Copy !req
324. No? That's Mr. Conlin, the locksmith.
He's been very helpful today.Copy !req
325. I could give you the new keys
if you'd adhere to my rules,Copy !req
326. which include
giving back your father's gifts.Copy !req
327. OK, fine. You win.
I won't go to New York.Copy !req
328. I'm outta here.Copy !req
329. Hello. Welcome. I'm Edie.
How do you do?Copy !req
330. An open house in the suburbs?
This is beyond kitsch.Copy !req
331. This is one of the houses
I've had a hard time getting into.Copy !req
332. God, I wish you would let this go.Copy !req
333. I'm taking you out tonight.
There's this cowboy bar you need to see.Copy !req
334. Why?Copy !req
335. It's the last place
anybody ever saw your sister.Copy !req
336. Susan. What brings you here?Copy !req
337. I just wanted to say goodbye
to Mary Alice's houseCopy !req
338. before somebody else moved in.Copy !req
339. That sounds almost plausible.Copy !req
340. - I beg your pardon?
- Come on.Copy !req
341. We both know why you're here.Copy !req
342. And the answer is yes,
they are having sex. No question.Copy !req
343. - They're just friends.
- Think so?Copy !req
344. They're going to the Saddle Ranch
tonight for drinks and dancing.Copy !req
345. Friends can do that.Copy !req
346. Oh, my God,
I just want to slap and shake you.Copy !req
347. Where did you say
they were going tonight?Copy !req
348. Why did I let you
talk me into coming here?Copy !req
349. There is obviously
nothing going on between them.Copy !req
350. - Where are you going?
- To the bathroom then home.Copy !req
351. - I don't want Mike to catch me.
- It's been ten minutes.Copy !req
352. She could be waiting
to make her move.Copy !req
353. You're not gonna beat a girl like that
by knocking off early.Copy !req
354. - It's not a competition.
- The hell it isn't.Copy !req
355. Good night, Edie.Copy !req
356. Suit yourself. But for the record,
I was rooting for you to land him.Copy !req
357. And why would you root for me?Copy !req
358. I figured it'd be easier for me
to steal Mike from you than her.Copy !req
359. She seems like fun.Copy !req
360. - Just take some antacid.
- It's not those kind of cramps.Copy !req
361. This is a business dinner.
It's important.Copy !req
362. Relax. You and I can go alone.
Gabrielle can stay here and get better.Copy !req
363. - Fine. See you in a couple of hours.
- OK.Copy !req
364. - Take good care of Carlos.
- I always do.Copy !req
365. Go, Edie!Copy !req
366. Oh, God.Copy !req
367. Mike!Copy !req
368. What a small, small world.Copy !req
369. Yeah, it sure is.
I caught Edie hiding in the back.Copy !req
370. No kidding. Is she here?Copy !req
371. Yeah. Yeah, she said, "The jig is up,"
and then she went to ride the bull.Copy !req
372. - And she said you two came together.
- Well, yeah.Copy !req
373. We did. I just thought she left.Copy !req
374. - Were you following me?
- What?Copy !req
375. No, I just came here,
you know, with Edie.Copy !req
376. We just love to ride that bull.Copy !req
377. - You? Ride the bull?
- Yeah. Yeah, it's a real rush.Copy !req
378. Come on, Susan. Give me a break.Copy !req
379. You give me a break.
I did not follow you here.Copy !req
380. Even if I did, it's because
you've been secretive about Kendra.Copy !req
381. - Kendra and I are friends.
- And I came here to ride the bull.Copy !req
382. We got another one
to ride the bull!Copy !req
383. OK, little doggie, you're up.Copy !req
384. Fun. I'm a doggie.Copy !req
385. Yeah. I'm here to ride this bull.Copy !req
386. Check it out.Copy !req
387. Andrew, you promised
you'd stay with your mother.Copy !req
388. Dad, she wants me out.
She put all my stuff on the front lawn.Copy !req
389. This is ridiculous. I'm gonna call her
and smooth all this out.Copy !req
390. - You're going home.
- Dad, why?Copy !req
391. Now I can live with you without guilt.Copy !req
392. It'll be like
our own little bachelor pad.Copy !req
393. - What?
- Son, that's not gonna happen.Copy !req
394. - Why not?
- Andrew...Copy !req
395. These last few months
have been incredibly difficult for me.Copy !req
396. There are things I've got to work outCopy !req
397. and I can't do it
if you're living with me. I'm sorry.Copy !req
398. I don't care. I'm not going back there.Copy !req
399. - I don't think you have a choice.
- But, Dad...Copy !req
400. Come on now. Don't...Copy !req
401. Heath? Yeah, it's me.Copy !req
402. Do you still have your fake ID?Copy !req
403. I've got to go home and kiss my mother's
ass and I'm not going to do it sober.Copy !req
404. more than I needed to know.Copy !req
405. He was in shock.
He was totally shocked.Copy !req
406. He said, "Congressmen, this was
not the vote. You voted already."Copy !req
407. - That's what it was.
- I love that one!Copy !req
408. The desserts look wonderful.Copy !req
409. - Do you need any help?
- I got it covered. No problem.Copy !req
410. OK, Scavo. You're up.
Let's hear this genius idea of yours.Copy !req
411. The single greatest obstacle facing
Spotless Scrub is a lack of visibility.Copy !req
412. We need to concentrate ad spendingCopy !req
413. in places where women spend
the majority of their time.Copy !req
414. For example, large chain grocery stores.Copy !req
415. Picture Spotless Scrub ads on the
side of every mother's shopping cart.Copy !req
416. - Interesting.
- You know what'd be better?Copy !req
417. - Dry-cleaning bags.
- What?Copy !req
418. No, hear me out.Copy !req
419. Put a big ad between
a woman and her cashmere sweater.Copy !req
420. - You'll get her attention.
- I'm in the middle of a thing here.Copy !req
421. She's got a point. I would notice that.Copy !req
422. Those dry-cleaning bags
hang in our closets forever.Copy !req
423. - So it is like constant advertising.
- Exactly!Copy !req
424. - Maybe we can work that in...
- This is a fantastic idea.Copy !req
425. - Can we go nationwide with this?
- Start by targeting the top chain.Copy !req
426. Then branch out from there.
Mass saturation.Copy !req
427. And you know what else would be great?Copy !req
428. While Lynette was commanding
everyone's attention...Copy !req
429. Susan was trying to remain
inconspicuous.Copy !req
430. Everybody's looking at me, aren't they?Copy !req
431. Just the slapstick fans.Copy !req
432. God, why couldn't I have
just been knocked unconscious?Copy !req
433. - Beer?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
434. - Susan, this is Kendra.
- We've been introduced.Copy !req
435. No. We've been friends for years.Copy !req
436. She's here on a visit.Copy !req
437. - That's it.
- It's true.Copy !req
438. I have no designs
on this man whatsoever.Copy !req
439. I'll be right back.Copy !req
440. - Sorry about the misunderstanding.
- Me, too.Copy !req
441. How long have you two
been seeing each other?Copy !req
442. Well, you sort of interrupted
our first date.Copy !req
443. But up until then,
smoking-hot tension.Copy !req
444. - Sounds pathetic, I know.
- No, it's good to take it slow.Copy !req
445. You'd be smart to be careful.Copy !req
446. - Any particular reason?
- Look...Copy !req
447. Mike's a wonderful guy. Really.Copy !req
448. But you should ask him
why he moved to Wisteria Lane.Copy !req
449. It's one hell of a story.Copy !req
450. Here. Got some ice.Copy !req
451. - There you go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
452. Well, it's been fun.
Thanks, guys. See you later.Copy !req
453. - Good evening.
- Good evening.Copy !req
454. Have a seat.Copy !req
455. I could get used to
this whole closure thing.Copy !req
456. I love long goodbyes.Copy !req
457. Wait around the corner.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
458. Smile, Gabrielle.Copy !req
459. Well, that's it, then.Copy !req
460. She had a camera.
We've got to catch her.Copy !req
461. Mrs. Solis, your husband's
going to kill us. Come on!Copy !req
462. - Leave me alone.
- Give me that camera!Copy !req
463. - I'm not kidding, old woman!
- Stay away from me! Don't touch me!Copy !req
464. No.Copy !req
465. No, you go home.
I'll take care of this.Copy !req
466. And you were never here. Go.Copy !req
467. Go!Copy !req
468. Did you see that? A guy came barreling
around the corner and just hit her.Copy !req
469. Do you have a cell phone?
Call 911.Copy !req
470. - What happened?
- Is she breathing?Copy !req
471. As Juanita teetered dangerously close
to the white light,Copy !req
472. Lynette and Tom were headed
into a black hole.Copy !req
473. I was just participating.Copy !req
474. Your participation was supposed
to be limited to making dinner,Copy !req
475. not making my ideas look bad.Copy !req
476. Maybe you need better ideas.Copy !req
477. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.Copy !req
478. No, we both know that your careerCopy !req
479. was going better than mine
before we had kids.Copy !req
480. - You never let me forget that.
- That is not fair.Copy !req
481. You were always competing with me,
and judging by tonight, you still are.Copy !req
482. Tom, I am sorry about tonight. Truly.Copy !req
483. But if I'm competing it's with
the Bree Van De Kamps of the world,Copy !req
484. with their spotless kitchens
and their perfect kids,Copy !req
485. who throw fabulous parties
where nothing ever goes wrong.Copy !req
486. I try so hard to keep up but I can't.Copy !req
487. And when you work on a pitch,
I am reminded of a world I left behind,Copy !req
488. where I was the winner
and people tried to keep up with me.Copy !req
489. I can't go back,
I can't win where I am.Copy !req
490. I am stuck in the middle
and it is really starting to get to me.Copy !req
491. For your information, I thought
you threw an amazing dinner party.Copy !req
492. I was thrilled. I don't know
how you pulled it all together.Copy !req
493. - Yeah, well...
- And whether you believe it or not,Copy !req
494. everyone who knows you thinks
that you are a great wife and mother.Copy !req
495. - No, they don't.
- Yes, they do.Copy !req
496. Especially me.Copy !req
497. Thanks.Copy !req
498. What's wrong with your eyes?Copy !req
499. Nothing. I'm tired.Copy !req
500. - Turn around. I want to look at you.
- I'm fine.Copy !req
501. What's going on outside?Copy !req
502. Right there.Copy !req
503. Thank God you're here. Will you take
care of Gabrielle for a minute?Copy !req
504. All right.Copy !req
505. Andrew. Thank God you're back.
I need your help, honey.Copy !req
506. There's been an accident.Copy !req
507. Andrew?Copy !req
508. Mama?Copy !req
509. Rex, you need to come home.Copy !req
510. Something's happened and we need you.Copy !req
511. Competition. It means different things
to different people.Copy !req
512. But whether it's a friendly rivalryCopy !req
513. or a fight to the death...Copy !req
514. Cheers.Copy !req
515. the end result is the same.Copy !req
516. There will be winners...Copy !req
517. and there will be losers.Copy !req
518. Of course, the trick is...Copy !req
519. to know which battles to fight.Copy !req
520. You see,Copy !req
521. no victory comes without a price.Copy !req