1. EVERY REAPER HAS
THEIR OWN DISTINCT STYLE...Copy !req
2. YOU KNOW, THOSE LITTLE
PERSONAL TOUCHESCopy !req
3. THAT MAKE DEATH SO SPECIAL.Copy !req
4. DON'T I NEED
TO BE CROSSING OVER,Copy !req
5. OR PASSING ON,
OR SOMETHING?Copy !req
6. YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE
UNTIL I FILL MY QUOTA.Copy !req
7. COOL IT, SIR.Copy !req
8. I'M GOING TO SAY THIS
AS POLITELY AS POSSIBLE.Copy !req
9. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.Copy !req
10. SHE'S A STRANGE
11-YEAR-OLD.Copy !req
11. SHE'S JUST
GOING THROUGH
A DIFFICULT TIME.Copy !req
12. SHE'S BEEN STEALING
TOILET SEATSCopy !req
13. AND BRINGING HOME
DEAD ANIMALS.Copy !req
14. YOU THINK SLAPPING UP
SOME PHOTOS WILL STOP THAT?Copy !req
15. I THINK IT'D BE
MORE PRODUCTIVE IF
I TALKED TO REGGIE ALONECopy !req
16. FOR THE REST
OF TODAY'S SESSION.Copy !req
17. HEY, YOU LIKE
THE LADIES, RIGHT?Copy !req
18. OH, BLOODY HELL.Copy !req
19. HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
20. I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
21. J.D...Copy !req
22. J.D., COME!Copy !req
23. J.D., COME!Copy !req
24. WHO'S GOING TO
TAKE CARE OF J.D.?Copy !req
25. WELL, WHO ARE YOU?Copy !req
26. THE BEST MEMORIES
DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.Copy !req
27. YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO THEM,Copy !req
28. AND EVERY TIME YOU DO,
YOU COOK THEM A LITTLE MORE.Copy !req
29. DAD, DO YOU WANT ONE OF
MY BLUEBERRY PANCAKESCopy !req
30. WHEN THEY COME?Copy !req
31. YEAH, I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT, GEORGIA.Copy !req
32. I'LL TRADE YOU ONE OF
YOUR BLUEBERRY PANCAKESCopy !req
33. FOR TWO PIECES
OF MY BACON.Copy !req
34. IT'S A DEAL,Copy !req
35. BUT YOU COULD HAVE HAD
A BLUEBERRY PANCAKE FOR FREE.Copy !req
36. GOAL!Copy !req
37. WHOO!Copy !req
38. AFTER A WHILE,
ALL YOU HAVE LEFTCopy !req
39. IS THIS TINY CRISPY FRAGMENT.Copy !req
40. IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU EVEN REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED ANYMORE.Copy !req
41. IT'S MORE LIKE
IT'S THE IDEA
OF WHAT HAPPENED,Copy !req
42. AND SUNDAY MORNINGS
WERE THE BEST.Copy !req
43. THE KETCHUP.Copy !req
44. GEORGIA!Copy !req
45. THE KETCHUP. GEORGE.
THE KETCHUP.Copy !req
46. OH, SORRY.Copy !req
47. I KNOW IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS,Copy !req
48. BUT YOU ARE A VERY
INTERNAL LITTLE CREATURE.Copy !req
49. YOU ALWAYS SAY
SOMETHING'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS,Copy !req
50. AND THEN YOU ACT
LIKE IT IS.Copy !req
51. I'M NOT INTERNAL.Copy !req
52. YOU ARE.
THAT'S WHY YOU SPEND
SO MUCH TIME ALONE,Copy !req
53. AND WHY YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY FRIENDS.Copy !req
54. NOW, ROXY HERE,
SHE'S AS EXTERNAL
AS THEY GET.Copy !req
55. YOU DON'T KNOW ME.Copy !req
56. I KNOW YOUR MOODS.
GRUMPY.Copy !req
57. MEAN AND GRUMPY.
SLEEPY AND GRUMPY.Copy !req
58. LIKE THE SEVEN DWARVES.Copy !req
59. DAISY, YOU WERE
AN ACTRESS, THEN.Copy !req
60. DID YOU EVER SLEEP
WITH A DWARF?
DID YOU BLOW A DWARF?Copy !req
61. DON'T BE STUPID.
THEY'RE CARTOONS.Copy !req
62. I WOULD LOVE TO
SEE YOU DO MY JOB
FOR ONE DAY.Copy !req
63. WHEN THERE'S
A BROADWAY MUSICALCopy !req
64. ABOUT YOUR STYLELESS
BUT FUNCTIONAL SHOES,Copy !req
65. I WILL GLADLY WALK
A MILE IN THEM.Copy !req
66. MAY I PLEASE HAVE
MY ASSIGNMENT?Copy !req
67. IT'S OVER AT THE COLLEGE.
PARKING'S A NIGHTMARE.Copy !req
68. I DON'T HAVE A CAR.Copy !req
69. PARKING'S STILL A NIGHTMARE.Copy !req
70. I'M GOING TO COME WITH YOU.Copy !req
71. I LIKE TO DO THINGS ON MY OWN.Copy !req
72. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
YOU'RE TRYING TO SCORE
SOME SWEET YOUNG THING.Copy !req
73. OH, COME ON,
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOUCopy !req
74. THAT BEING AROUND
ALL THAT YOUTHFUL ENERGY
MIGHT INSPIRE ME?Copy !req
75. THEN YOU COULD STEAL
A SHITLOAD OF DRUGS.Copy !req
76. ROUND AND ROUND
AND ROUND IT GOES,Copy !req
77. WHERE IT STOPS,
NOBODY KNOWS.Copy !req
78. YOU KNOW THAT MOMENT
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN DEAD A WHILECopy !req
79. WHEN YOU BEGIN TO SUSPECTCopy !req
80. THINGS MIGHT BE COMING BACK
TO NORMAL IN YOUR FAMILY?Copy !req
81. OKAY, MAYBE YOU DON'T.Copy !req
82. WELL, I THINK THAT MAY HAVE
HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY.Copy !req
83. THE WEIRD PART IS MY FAMILY
NEVER WAS NORMAL BEFORE.Copy !req
84. HEY, YOU KNOW
THAT IRISH SETTER
I HAD GROWING UP? FRECKLES?Copy !req
85. YEAH, YOUR MOM
SHOWED ME PICTURES.Copy !req
86. YEAH, SHE LOATHED
THAT DOG.Copy !req
87. SHE TOLD ME THAT
WHILE SHE WAS
SHOWING ME PICTURES.Copy !req
88. WELL, ONE DAY,
IT TOOK A CRAP
IN ONE OF HER SHOES.Copy !req
89. THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE.Copy !req
90. SO, MY DAD, HE CAN'T BEAR
TO PUT THE THING TO SLEEP,Copy !req
91. SO HE ANNOUNCES
HE'S GOING TO DRIVE
FRECKLES UP MT. TAMCopy !req
92. AND SET HIM FREE.Copy !req
93. IN THE WOODS?Copy !req
94. IN THE WOODS.Copy !req
95. HE SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT
WITH YOUR MOTHER.Copy !req
96. NO, HE KEPT THEM BOTH.Copy !req
97. IT ONLY SAYS
"SEVENTH FLOOR.
R.L. GUGGENHEIM."Copy !req
98. THIS A DUMP.Copy !req
99. WELL, WHAT WERE
YOU EXPECTING?Copy !req
100. I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING A BIT
MORE COLLEGIATE.Copy !req
101. HOLY SHIT.
JEEZ...Copy !req
102. THAT WAS MY BONG,
DOUCHEBAG!Copy !req
103. BUT IT'S NICE.Copy !req
104. I COULD HAVE GONE
TO COLLEGE.Copy !req
105. WELL, UP UNTIL
I HIT MY TEACHERCopy !req
106. ON THE HEAD
WITH A BOOK...Copy !req
107. OR MAYBE IT
WAS A GLOBE.Copy !req
108. I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT
I HIT MY TEACHER WITH.Copy !req
109. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?Copy !req
110. UH... PRIMARY,Copy !req
111. SO I GUESS I WAS
SEVEN OR EIGHT.Copy !req
112. MY MOTHER
WAS MORE EXCITEDCopy !req
113. ABOUT ME GOING TO
COLLEGE THAN I WAS.Copy !req
114. IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, HERE'S
A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAYCopy !req
115. TO EVICT MY DAUGHTER
FROM OUR HOUSE."Copy !req
116. BUT YOU DIDN'T GO.Copy !req
117. NO, I WENT,
I JUST DROPPED OUT,Copy !req
118. AND SHE HATED ME
FOR IT.Copy !req
119. WELL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.Copy !req
120. YOUR FATHER
MUST HAVE SHIT.Copy !req
121. HE DIDN'T SAY
MUCH, REALLY.Copy !req
122. WE WEREN'T REALLY
CLOSE AT THAT POINT.Copy !req
123. WHY?Copy !req
124. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
125. WHEN I WAS A KID,
WE WERE REALLY CLOSE.Copy !req
126. HE USED TO LET ME DRINK COKE
AT BREAKFAST.Copy !req
127. I THOUGHT
THAT WAS REALLY COOL.Copy !req
128. DAD, DO THE STRAW TRICK.Copy !req
129. THAT NEVER GETS OLD.Copy !req
130. COLLEGE IS TWO THINGS.Copy !req
131. FORGET WHAT THEY PUT IN LATIN
AROUND THE SEAL.Copy !req
132. IT IS NOT ABOUT VERITAS
OR FRATERNITAS.Copy !req
133. COLLEGE IS ABOUT STRESS-I-TAS
AND BINGE-I-TAS.Copy !req
134. STRESS...Copy !req
135. BINGE.Copy !req
136. HAS ANYONE SEEN
A PINK INDEX CARDCopy !req
137. WITH CALCULUS EQUATIONS ON IT?Copy !req
138. STRESS...
FUCK ME!Copy !req
139. BINGE.Copy !req
140. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT.Copy !req
141. I DIDN'T HAVE ANY PAPERS DUE.Copy !req
142. I HADN'T JUST BROKEN UP
WITH MY BOYFRIEND.Copy !req
143. I DIDN'T FEEL STUPID
AND ALONE,Copy !req
144. BUT JUST BEING NEAR
ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO DIDCopy !req
145. MADE ME WANT TO
SCREAM OR CRY.Copy !req
146. DRUGS?Copy !req
147. NO, THANK YOU.Copy !req
148. ANTIDEPRESSANTS,
AMOXICILLIN.Copy !req
149. EVERYONE'S TAKING
AMOXICILLIN.Copy !req
150. WELL, GOOD FOR THEM.Copy !req
151. HEY, LISTEN,
I HAVE THIS THEORYCopy !req
152. THAT ALL THIS ELITIST
COLLEGE CRAPCopy !req
153. IS JUST A FRONT
FOR THE BACTERIA.Copy !req
154. NOW, BACTERIA
CREATES THE COLLEGESCopy !req
155. TO HAVE
THE PERFECT PLACECopy !req
156. TO BREED AND EVOLVE,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
157. LET'S JUST FIND THIS GUY
AND GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
158. "LIKE AS THE WAVES
MAKE TOWARDS
THE PEBBLED SHORE,Copy !req
159. "SO DO OUR MINUTES
HASTEN TO THEIR END,Copy !req
160. "EACH CHANGING PLACECopy !req
161. WITH THAT
WHICH GOES BEFORE."Copy !req
162. READING POETRY
TO A GOOD-LOOKING GUY
IN MY DORM ROOM?Copy !req
163. THIS IS SOMETHING
I'LL NEVER DO.Copy !req
164. HEY, SENORITA!Copy !req
165. MAKE WAY FOR
BUTROS BUTROS NITROUS,Copy !req
166. POR FAVOR.Copy !req
167. SOMETHING ELSE I'LL NEVER DO.Copy !req
168. WHAT'S GOING ON?Copy !req
169. NOTHING.Copy !req
170. "AND NOTHING STANDS
BUT FOR HIS SCYTHE TO MOW,Copy !req
171. "AND YET, TO TIMES, IN HOPE,
MY VERSE SHALL STAND,Copy !req
172. PRAISING THY WORTH,
DESPITE HIS CRUEL HAND."Copy !req
173. DO YOU GET THIS?Copy !req
174. YEAH, YEAH.
VERY MOVING.Copy !req
175. YOU WANT A BEER?Copy !req
176. NO.Copy !req
177. I JUST THOUGHT WE COULD
RELAX A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
178. FUCK!Copy !req
179. WELL, NO, JUST LEAVE
THE DOOR OPEN, OKAY?Copy !req
180. HAS ANYBODY SEEN
MY PINK INDEX CARD?Copy !req
181. IS YOUR NAME RICH GUGGENHEIM?Copy !req
182. FUCK! YES! I AM.Copy !req
183. THANK YOU SO MUCH.Copy !req
184. BIG TEST, HUH?Copy !req
185. YEAH. WELL, NO.
WHO CARES?Copy !req
186. I GOT THE NUMBER
OF THIS GIRL ON HERE.Copy !req
187. HER NAME IS JENNY.Copy !req
188. DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?Copy !req
189. KIND OF.Copy !req
190. WE MET BY THE VENDING MACHINESCopy !req
191. IN THE BASEMENT
OF THE MED LIBRARY.Copy !req
192. THEY HAVE YOO-HOO.
WHATEVER.Copy !req
193. SHE WAS SINGING
THAT OLD FRANKIE GOES
TO HOLLYWOOD SONG,Copy !req
194. "DO YOU KNOW THE WAY
TO SAN JOSE?"Copy !req
195. AND I HAD KA-ZAA'D THAT,
LIKE, THE NIGHT BEFORE,Copy !req
196. AND I SAID TO HER,Copy !req
197. "WE SHOULD JUST GET IN THE CAR
AND DRIVE TO SAN JOSE,"Copy !req
198. YOU KNOW, FUCK ALL THIS,Copy !req
199. AND SHE TURNS TO ME,
AND SHE'S ALMOST CRYING,Copy !req
200. YOU KNOW, WITH HER YOO-HOO
AND SHIT, AND—Copy !req
201. AND SHE SAYS, "I'VE NEVER
BEEN TO CALIFORNIA.Copy !req
202. LET'S DO IT AFTER FINALS,"Copy !req
203. AND SHE WROTE HER NUMBER DOWN.Copy !req
204. THIS IS IT.Copy !req
205. JENNY.Copy !req
206. I THINK WE'RE REALLY
GOING TO GO.Copy !req
207. YOU SHOULD.Copy !req
208. JENNY MAY GET
TO CALIFORNIA SOMEDAY,Copy !req
209. BUT IT WON'T BE WITH HIM.Copy !req
210. SHIT!Copy !req
211. MEANWHILE, THE CLASS CLOWNS
WERE FUCKING WITH
THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.Copy !req
212. IT'S OKAY.Copy !req
213. WATCH OUT!Copy !req
214. DUDE? DUDE...Copy !req
215. I THINK IT'S TIME WE GO.Copy !req
216. SHE WANTED IT OPEN.Copy !req
217. STOP IT.Copy !req
218. I HEAR YOU AND RESPECT
THAT YOU SAY NO,Copy !req
219. BUT I THINK I CAN
CHANGE YOUR MIND.Copy !req
220. GET OFF OF ME!
STOP IT!Copy !req
221. I JUST REMEMBERED
WHAT I HIT MY TEACHER WITH.Copy !req
222. YOU'VE GOT,
LIKE, ONE SECOND.Copy !req
223. SO, WAS THAT KID
IN THE HALL REALLY DEAD?Copy !req
224. YEAH. HE WAS.Copy !req
225. GOD, I'VE NEVER SEEN
A REAL DEAD PERSON BEFORE.Copy !req
226. HAVE YOU?Copy !req
227. NO.
NO.Copy !req
228. MOST GUYS ON CAMPUS
ARE LIKE YOU.Copy !req
229. THEY'RE NORMAL, SWEET.Copy !req
230. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I WAS STUDYING
WITH THIS GUY.Copy !req
231. IT LOOKED PRETTY BAD.Copy !req
232. WELL, I HAD PEPPER SPRAY
RIGHT ON MY KEYS,Copy !req
233. BUT I WAS JUST,
LIKE, YOU KNOW,
"IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?"Copy !req
234. YOU HAD A BRAIN FREEZE.Copy !req
235. I GET THEM... ALL THE TIME.Copy !req
236. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WISH
I COULD JUST, LIKE, BE AWAKE,Copy !req
237. YOU KNOW, IN THE MOMENT,
WHEN IT'S HAPPENING.Copy !req
238. OR HAVE, LIKE,
A PAUSE BUTTON
OR SOMETHINGCopy !req
239. SO YOU CAN
HAVE TIME TO REACT.Copy !req
240. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY.Copy !req
241. YOU KNOW, I'M SUCH AN EXPERT
ON LIFE AFTER SHIT HAPPENS.Copy !req
242. GOD, LIFE IS
JUST TOO FAST.Copy !req
243. IS IT WRONG TO DECIDE
SOMEONE IS SUCH A GREAT PERSONCopy !req
244. BECAUSE THEY'RE
SO MUCH LIKE YOU?Copy !req
245. OH, SHOOT.
I'VE GOT LAUNDRY
AT THE COIN-OP.Copy !req
246. I COULD GIVE YOU A RIDE.Copy !req
247. A RIDE IN WHAT?Copy !req
248. YOU HAVE A CAR?Copy !req
249. YEAH.Copy !req
250. OKAY, GOD, THIS IS GOING
TO SOUND SO SHALLOW,Copy !req
251. BUT, UM, I LIKE TO GUESS
WHAT PEOPLE DRIVE.Copy !req
252. YEAH.Copy !req
253. YEAH, I'M
CURIOUS TOO.Copy !req
254. OKAY, UM...Copy !req
255. I THINK THAT
YOU WOULD RATHER WALKCopy !req
256. THAN DRIVE SOMETHING
THAT DIDN'T SUIT YOU, SO...Copy !req
257. I'M GOING TO GO WITH...
CLASSIC TRANS AM. RED.Copy !req
258. THAT'S INCREDIBLE.Copy !req
259. UNCANNY.Copy !req
260. OH, MY GOD,
I GOT IT RIGHT?Copy !req
261. YES.Copy !req
262. IN FACT, I'M
GOING TO GO—Copy !req
263. GO AND GET IT NOW.
A RED ONE? RED ONE.Copy !req
264. YEAH.Copy !req
265. UH, MASON,
DON'T FORGET OUR...Copy !req
266. THING.Copy !req
267. YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
268. HE'S KIND OF CUTE.Copy !req
269. DO YOU GUYS...Copy !req
270. OH, NO. UH, NO.Copy !req
271. SO, UM, WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR?Copy !req
272. OH MY GOD, THAT'S—
THAT'S SO QUEER.Copy !req
273. UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?Copy !req
274. RUBE ALWAYS SAID DON'T GET
TOO CLOSE TO THE LIVING.Copy !req
275. JUST STAY ON THE PERIPHERY.Copy !req
276. DON'T TELL HER
WHO YOU ARE.Copy !req
277. GIVE HER YOUR UNDEAD NAME.Copy !req
278. I'M MILLIE.Copy !req
279. CHARLOTTE.Copy !req
280. OH, I KNOW, SHAKING HANDS
IS SO WEIRD.Copy !req
281. HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
GET SOME COFFEE?Copy !req
282. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAYCopy !req
283. WHEN SOMEONE'S HAVING
A FUCKED-UP DAY?Copy !req
284. YEAH, IS THAT
WHAT IT SAYSCopy !req
285. IN THE "GIRLS WHO
MAKE BAD DECISIONS"
MANUAL?Copy !req
286. PAGE THREE.Copy !req
287. UM, IS YOUR FRIEND
GOING TO BE OKAY?Copy !req
288. YEAH, HE'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
289. OKAY.Copy !req
290. AS YOU GET OLDER,Copy !req
291. THE CHANCE OF MAKING
A REALLY GOOD NEW FRIENDCopy !req
292. IS PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME
AS BEING HIT BY A TRUCK,Copy !req
293. AND IF YOU'RE HIT BY A TRUCK,
WHICH IS TO SAY DEAD,Copy !req
294. THE CHANCES OF MAKING
A GOOD FRIEND
ARE EVEN SLIMMER,Copy !req
295. SO WHEN I REMEMBERED
I HAD A LUNCH DATE
WITH CHARLOTTE,Copy !req
296. I FELT SOMETHING NEW
SINCE I DIED...Copy !req
297. I FELT LUCKY.Copy !req
298. MASON WAS FEELING
SOMETHING NEW TOO.Copy !req
299. MEANWHILE, ROXY WAS JUST
DOING HER JOB,Copy !req
300. WORKING FOR THE MAN,Copy !req
301. WHEN SHE RAN
INTO A BAD ONE...Copy !req
302. ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT BACK.Copy !req
303. THE TICKET'S
ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN.Copy !req
304. THEY DON'T GO BACK.Copy !req
305. OH, RIGHT.Copy !req
306. OKAY, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SHOVE THOSE TICKETSCopy !req
307. WHERE THE SUN
DON'T SHINE, MISS?Copy !req
308. STEP ASIDE, SIR.Copy !req
309. AS I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY,
IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT,
THERE'S A SYSTEM IN PLACE.Copy !req
310. YOUR SYSTEM CAN SUCK
MY DICK, MISS, OKAY?Copy !req
311. NOW, I AIN'T
EVER GOING TO PAY
THOSE FUCKING TICKETS,Copy !req
312. SO JUST TAKE YOUR TICKETS,Copy !req
313. PUT THEM IN
YOUR FUCKING POCKET
AND WALK OFF.Copy !req
314. YOU NEED TO STEP OFF.Copy !req
315. STEP OFF?Copy !req
316. STEP OFF...Copy !req
317. OKAY. OKAY...Copy !req
318. STEP OFF!Copy !req
319. SIR! THAT IS CITY PROPERTY!Copy !req
320. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING
TO ME, OKAY?Copy !req
321. I AIN'T NEVER GOING
TO PAY THOSE TICKETS!Copy !req
322. SO YOU TAKE THEM BACK!Copy !req
323. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN
FUCKING RULES,Copy !req
324. SO YOU TAKE THESE
GODDAMN TICKETS BACK!Copy !req
325. HO—HO—HOLD UP, NOW!Copy !req
326. NOW, I CAN TOLERATE
YOU CURSING ME OUT,Copy !req
327. SCREAMING AT ME,
DISRESPECTING MY VEHICLE,Copy !req
328. BUT DON'T YOU EVER
PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME.Copy !req
329. AND THAT'S WHEN ROXY DECIDEDCopy !req
330. SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT
BREAKING THE RULES EITHER.Copy !req
331. LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.Copy !req
332. I AM TRYING TO DO MY JOB,
WHICH IS DEFINITELY
MY DAY JOB.Copy !req
333. IF YOU KEEP
FUCKING WITH ME,Copy !req
334. THERE ARE OTHER SKILLS
I CAN EMPLOYCopy !req
335. THAT WILL GIVE YOUR LIFE
A TURN FOR THE STRANGE
AND THE PAINFUL.Copy !req
336. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?Copy !req
337. SHAKESPEARE SONNETS.Copy !req
338. WHAT AN ELEGANT,
SLENDER VOLUME.Copy !req
339. WHY, MASON, IS YOUR
COFFEE TABLE UNEVEN?Copy !req
340. WAIT.Copy !req
341. IS THERE A GIRL?Copy !req
342. SOMEONE SPECIAL
YOU WANT TO SHAG?Copy !req
343. I DON'T WANT TO
SHAG HER, DAISY.Copy !req
344. I—I DO WANT TO SHAG HER,
BUT NOT IN THE USUAL WAY.Copy !req
345. I—I LIKE HER.Copy !req
346. OH MY.Copy !req
347. SHE'S DIFFERENT.Copy !req
348. SHE'S SWEET.Copy !req
349. SHE'S SOPHISTICATED.
SHE'S A COLLEGE GIRL.Copy !req
350. A COLLEGE GIRL. HMM.Copy !req
351. UM, WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?Copy !req
352. NOTHING.Copy !req
353. HOW DID YOU MEET?Copy !req
354. I HIT SOME BLOKE ON THE HEAD
WHO WAS TRYING
TO DATE-RAPE HER.Copy !req
355. MMM...Copy !req
356. A STORY TO
TELL THE GRANDKIDS.Copy !req
357. YEAH, FORGET IT.Copy !req
358. MASON, COME ON.
IT'S A BIT STRANGE
SEEING YOU THIS WAY.Copy !req
359. SHE'S DIFFERENT.Copy !req
360. I GET THAT.Copy !req
361. NOT TOO DIFFERENT.Copy !req
362. OH, NO, NO.
NO, IT'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
363. YOU'LL SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET,
SHOW HER THERE'S MORE TO LIFECopy !req
364. THAN BOOK LEARNING.Copy !req
365. SHE'LL TEACH YOU
ABOUT SALAD FORKS,Copy !req
366. THE ROMANTIC POETS,Copy !req
367. AND YOU'LL TEACH HER
ABOUT CAR THEFT
AND AMPHETAMINES.Copy !req
368. FUCK YOU, DAISY.Copy !req
369. I'M SORRY.Copy !req
370. I HOPE IT ALL
WORKS OUT, HONEY.Copy !req
371. FEEL LIKE A LITTLE LUNCH,
MILLIE?Copy !req
372. UH, ACTUALLY,
I HAVE PLANS TODAY.Copy !req
373. REALLY?Copy !req
374. YEAH, IT'S KIND OF A...
LUNCH DATE.Copy !req
375. OH.Copy !req
376. I MEAN, NOT A DATE-DATE.Copy !req
377. MILLIE, I HOPE
YOU DON'T FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLECopy !req
378. SAYING "NO" TO ME.Copy !req
379. IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE AWKWARD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE.Copy !req
380. I—I'M NOT.Copy !req
381. I'M NOT ANGRY.Copy !req
382. OKAY.Copy !req
383. THERE'LL BE PLENTY
OF LUNCHES.Copy !req
384. UH-HUH.Copy !req
385. SO DON'T WORRY
ABOUT HAVING "PLANS."Copy !req
386. BUT I REALLY DO
HAVE A LUNCH DATE.Copy !req
387. OKAY. IT'S JUST
YOUR HONESTY IS IMPORTANT,Copy !req
388. AND I THINK
YOU SOMETIMES FORGET
I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE.Copy !req
389. I HAVE BEEN
YOUNG AND ALONE.Copy !req
390. I WILL SIMPLY
SAY THIS.Copy !req
391. AS YOU GROW,Copy !req
392. BEING A LONER STOPS BEING
SOMETHING YOU ARE ASHAMED OFCopy !req
393. AND BECOMES SOMETHING
YOU TREASURE.Copy !req
394. HI, MILLIE.
UM, SORRY I'M LATE.
ARE YOU READY?Copy !req
395. YEAH.Copy !req
396. OKAY, BYE.Copy !req
397. SO, DO YOU LIKE TO SHOP?Copy !req
398. IT'S OKAY. I MEAN
I'M NOT, LIKE, A FREAK
ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING.Copy !req
399. WELL, I KNOW
IT SOUNDS GIRLY,Copy !req
400. BUT I LOVE CLOTHES.Copy !req
401. TWO WORDS I'VE NEVER
HEARD BEFORE...Copy !req
402. "CUTE TOP."Copy !req
403. WELL, UNLIKE YOU,Copy !req
404. I GET ALL MY SELF-ESTEEM
FROM MY APPEARANCE.Copy !req
405. TWO WORDS I'VE ALSO
NEVER HEARD BEFORE.Copy !req
406. WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?Copy !req
407. ABSOLUTELY.
I LOVE SECRETS.Copy !req
408. I'VE NEVER HAD
A MANICURE.Copy !req
409. JESUS! OKAY. NO.
TOO MUCH. TOO SOON.Copy !req
410. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
411. HEY, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
FROM THAT ASSHOLE?Copy !req
412. NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM,Copy !req
413. BUT I FILED A REPORT
WITH THE CAMPUS POLICE.Copy !req
414. YOU KNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT?Copy !req
415. YOU KNOW WHAT TOTALLY SUCKED
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING?Copy !req
416. THAT HE TRIED TO RAPED YOU?Copy !req
417. YEAH, BESIDES THAT.Copy !req
418. THE SONNETS.Copy !req
419. I LOVE THE SONNETS,
AND HE TAINTED THEM FOR ME.Copy !req
420. THIS IS WHERE I FELT IT
THE FIRST TIME...Copy !req
421. THE UNIVERSE WAS COCKING
THE FUCK-WITH-ME GUN.Copy !req
422. "THAT TIME OF YEAR
THOU MAYST IN ME BEHOLDCopy !req
423. "WHEN YELLOW LEAVES,
OR NONE, OR FEW DO HANGCopy !req
424. "UPON THOSE BOUGHS
WHICH SHAKE AGAINST THE COLDCopy !req
425. "BARE RUINED CHOIRSCopy !req
426. WHERE LATE
THE SWEET BIRDS SANG."Copy !req
427. OH, SO I'M TAKING THIS
INCREDIBLE SEMINAR.Copy !req
428. THE PROFESSOR'S
A TOTAL TRIP.
YOU SHOULD COME.Copy !req
429. BANG.Copy !req
430. "THAT TIME OF YEAR
THOU MAYST BEHOLD IN MECopy !req
431. "WHEN YELLOW LEAVES,
OR NONE, OR FEW DO HANGCopy !req
432. "UPON THOSE BOUGHSCopy !req
433. "WHICH SHAKE
AGAINST THE COLDCopy !req
434. "BARE RUINED CHOIRS
WHERE LATECopy !req
435. THE SWEET
BIRDS SANG."Copy !req
436. SHAKESPEARE'S
TRYING TO PAINTCopy !req
437. THAT EMOTIONAL MOMENT
OF A LOVE LOST.Copy !req
438. I KNOW, I KNOW,
IT'S SO OLD-SCHOOL.Copy !req
439. "A TREE IN WINTER, BOUGHS
SHAKING AGAINST THE COLD."Copy !req
440. BLAH BLAH BLAH.Copy !req
441. IT'S SO FAMILIAR,Copy !req
442. BUT LET ME ASK
YOU A QUESTION.Copy !req
443. WHO HERE HAS HAD
THEIR HEART BROKEN?Copy !req
444. YEAH. OKAY.Copy !req
445. NOW WE KNOW WHO
THE DRAMATIC ONES ARE,Copy !req
446. BUT HERE'S MY POINT.Copy !req
447. WHEN YOU'RE SUFFERING,Copy !req
448. AND I MEAN YOU'RE
TRULY SUFFERING,Copy !req
449. IT'S THE CLICHES
THAT HEAL YOU.Copy !req
450. WHEN I'M SAD,
GIVE ME GEORGE JONES
OR WILLIE NELSON.Copy !req
451. THAT'S THE BRILLIANCE
OF THESE SONNETS.Copy !req
452. THEY STATE THE OBVIOUS.Copy !req
453. CLICHES ARE CLICHESCopy !req
454. BECAUSE THEY ARE THE THINGS
THAT HAVE STUCK TO THE WALL.Copy !req
455. OUR GREATEST ARROGANCE
IS TO BELIEVE THAT
WE ARE ALL SPECIAL,Copy !req
456. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS,Copy !req
457. WE ARE ALL
UNBELIEVABLY THE SAME.Copy !req
458. WATCHING THIS MAN
ENTERTAIN HIS STUDENTS,Copy !req
459. BE SWEET AND INSIGHTFUL
AND TOUCHING,Copy !req
460. I WAS STRUCK
WITH ONE QUESTION—Copy !req
461. WHO WAS THIS GUY,Copy !req
462. AND WHAT HAD HE DONE
WITH MY FATHER?Copy !req
463. UH, EXCUSE ME,
PROFESSOR LASS?Copy !req
464. HI. UM, SANDY?Copy !req
465. CHARLOTTE.Copy !req
466. WHY DO I EVEN TRY?Copy !req
467. UM, I JUST WANTED
MY FRIEND TO MEET YOU.Copy !req
468. I LOVE YOUR CLASS.Copy !req
469. THANK YOU. HI.Copy !req
470. HI.Copy !req
471. I'M TEACHING THE COMEDIES
NEXT SEMESTER.Copy !req
472. IT'S A LITTLE LIGHTER FARE,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
473. I LOVED THAT POEM.Copy !req
474. IT WAS REAL HELPFUL,
ESPECIALLY THE PART
ABOUT NOT BEING ALONE.Copy !req
475. AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW
I HAD NEVER MET
CLANCY LASS BEFORE.Copy !req
476. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE
IN MY FAMILY HAD.Copy !req
477. I BROUGHT HOME
A STRAY CAT ONCE...Copy !req
478. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT
A BABY, GEORGIA.Copy !req
479. I THINK THAT
YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH
TO SEE OUR SIDE OF THIS.Copy !req
480. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO TAKE HIM TO AN ANIMAL
SHELTER, SWEETIE.Copy !req
481. THEY'LL KILL HIM!Copy !req
482. THEY WON'T KILL HIM.Copy !req
483. NO, THEY'RE GOING TO
FIND SOME NICE FAMILYCopy !req
484. THAT CAN TAKE
CARE OF HIM.Copy !req
485. I DON'T WANT HIM TO END UP
WITH SOME NICE FAMILY.Copy !req
486. I WANT HIM
IN THIS FAMILY.Copy !req
487. LOOK, THERE IS
A BABY IN THE HOUSE NOW.Copy !req
488. IT'S NOT A DEBATE.
I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.Copy !req
489. THIS SUCKS!
YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT.Copy !req
490. GEORGIA...
YOU'RE THE WORST
DAD EVER!Copy !req
491. GO TO YOUR ROOM.Copy !req
492. I WANTED A KITTY CAT,Copy !req
493. AND I GOT A LITTLE SISTER
INSTEAD...Copy !req
494. AND AS SIMPLE AS THAT,Copy !req
495. THAT WAS THE END OF SOMETHING
BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD.Copy !req
496. I STARTED SLEEPING IN
ON SUNDAY MORNINGS.Copy !req
497. IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME
THAT HE HADN'T CHANGED,Copy !req
498. THAT IT WAS MY FAULT.Copy !req
499. I'D JUST BECOME A TEENAGER.Copy !req
500. I WONDER IF HE HAD A COKE
FOR BREAKFAST
WHEN I WASN'T THERE.Copy !req
501. OH, SHIT.Copy !req
502. I KNEW YOU'D
COME BACK.Copy !req
503. I HAVE TO
GIVE YOU A TICKET.Copy !req
504. THANK YOU.Copy !req
505. I WROTE YOU
SOMETHING TOO.Copy !req
506. I REALIZED THAT WHEN YOU DID
THE THING THAT YOU DID,Copy !req
507. YOU KNOW,
THAT THERE WERE NO WORDS
IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGECopy !req
508. TO DESCRIBE IT,
SO I CAME UP
WITH SOME WORDSCopy !req
509. THAT WOULD
HELP OTHER PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
510. "HAGGLEBLASS,"
THE ARGUMENT WITH GOD.Copy !req
511. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN YOU AND ME.Copy !req
512. "STUBBLERUD."Copy !req
513. THE MOMENT IN
THE HAGGLEBLASSCopy !req
514. WHEN THERE'S
NO TURNING BACK.Copy !req
515. THAT'S WHEN THE HUMAN
NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT
A LESSON,Copy !req
516. RIGHT, AND—
HANG ON.
HANG ON, SIR.Copy !req
517. NO, DON'T CALL ME "SIR."
DON'T CALL ME "SIR."Copy !req
518. I AM NOTHING BUT
A "WHISPONAUGHT,"Copy !req
519. AN UNWORTHY ONE
IN YOUR PRESENCE.Copy !req
520. JESUS.Copy !req
521. ARE YOU JESUS?Copy !req
522. NO, I'M NOT JESUS.Copy !req
523. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, ANYWAY?Copy !req
524. BEFORE THE HAGGLEBLASS, UH,
THEY CALLED ME "CHUCK."Copy !req
525. OKAY, CHUCK.Copy !req
526. NOW, I THINK WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU BEFORECopy !req
527. WAS SOMETHING
YOU IMAGINED.Copy !req
528. MAYBE YOU HAD A STROKE
OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
529. WHEN YOU SEPARATED MY SOUL
FROM MY BODY...Copy !req
530. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.Copy !req
531. YOU CURED ME
OF ALL MY ANGER.Copy !req
532. IN ONE MOMENT,Copy !req
533. YOU GAVE ME
ALL THE ANSWERS.Copy !req
534. NOTHING HAPPENED.Copy !req
535. EVERYTHING HAPPENED.Copy !req
536. EVERYTHING.Copy !req
537. DAMN.Copy !req
538. EVERYTHING.Copy !req
539. HELLO, GEORGIE.Copy !req
540. I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS.Copy !req
541. GIVE ME HER NUMBER.Copy !req
542. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.Copy !req
543. IF SHE WERE INTERESTED IN YOU,
SHE WOULD HAVE MENTIONED YOU.Copy !req
544. SHE DIDN'T
MENTION YOU.Copy !req
545. ASK HER ABOUT ME.Copy !req
546. NO, DON'T ASK HER
ABOUT ME,Copy !req
547. BECAUSE YOU'LL TELL HER
THINGS ABOUT ME.Copy !req
548. YOU'LL STRESS
THE NEGATIVES.Copy !req
549. ASK HER ABOUT ME,
GEORGIE?Copy !req
550. I'LL ASK HER ABOUT YOU.Copy !req
551. WHAT, WITH THAT...
EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE?Copy !req
552. WELL, FUCK IT!Copy !req
553. FUCK YOU.Copy !req
554. I'LL SHOW YOU BOTH.
WE'LL BE LIKE ROMEO
AND JULIET, WE WILL.Copy !req
555. YOU DO KNOW HOW
THAT STORY ENDED,
DON'T YOU?Copy !req
556. IF ROMEO HAD JUST
MASTURBATEDCopy !req
557. A COUPLE OF TIMES
A WEEK,Copy !req
558. HE WOULD HAVE SAVED
BOTH THOSE NICE FAMILIES
A HEAP OF TROUBLE.Copy !req
559. HEY.Copy !req
560. CHARLOTTE!
UM, WHAT TIME IS IT?Copy !req
561. YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MEET ME OUT FRONT.Copy !req
562. I'M EARLY. I KNOW.Copy !req
563. DAISY ADAIR.Copy !req
564. I'VE HEARD
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU,Copy !req
565. I FEEL I KNOW
YOU ALREADY.Copy !req
566. AND YOU KNOW MASON.Copy !req
567. OF COURSE. MY HERO.Copy !req
568. WELL, WE'D BETTER
BE GOING.Copy !req
569. UH. HI.Copy !req
570. HELLO.Copy !req
571. THIS IS MY FRIEND,
CHARLOTTE.Copy !req
572. CHARLOTTE, THIS IS MY...Copy !req
573. STEPDAD
AND HIS WIFE.Copy !req
574. WE REALLY HAVE TO GO.Copy !req
575. NICE TO MEET YOU,
CHARLOTTE. HONEY...Copy !req
576. HUH?Copy !req
577. CAN YOU RUN AN ERRAND
FOR ME, SWEETHEART?Copy !req
578. IT'S JUST
A FEW BLOCKS AWAY.Copy !req
579. DO IT FOR YOUR STEPDAD?Copy !req
580. SURE. NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
581. YOU MIGHT WANT TO HURRY.Copy !req
582. OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU SEE THAT?Copy !req
583. YEAH.Copy !req
584. NOW, THAT LOOKS
A LITTLE MORE
INTERESTING.Copy !req
585. AND NOW,
FOR HIS NEXT TRICK,Copy !req
586. THE GREAT ETIENNE
WILL JUGGLE...Copy !req
587. KNIVES.Copy !req
588. THIS IS THE ERRAND
WE'RE RUNNING?Copy !req
589. I THINK IT IS.Copy !req
590. YOUR STEPDAD
NEEDS A JUGGLER?Copy !req
591. HE'S THROWING
A BIRTHDAY PARTY
FOR HIS WIFE.Copy !req
592. HE NEEDS, YOU KNOW,
ENTERTAINMENT.Copy !req
593. THAT IS SO AWESOME.
GIVE ME A DOLLAR.Copy !req
594. EDDIE DIENES,
DO NOT GIVE
THAT MAN MONEY.Copy !req
595. YOU'RE ENCOURAGING
STUPIDITY.Copy !req
596. STUPID NEEDS TO
MAKE A LIVING TOO!Copy !req
597. I'M SORRY.Copy !req
598. UH, DO YOU KNOW
THAT GUY'S NAME?Copy !req
599. UH, I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
600. IT'S SOMETHING FRENCH
OR EQUALLY FUCKED UP.Copy !req
601. LET'S GO GET
SOME LUNCH.Copy !req
602. WHAT ABOUT THE JUGGLER?
YOUR STEPDAD'S PARTY?Copy !req
603. TOO DANGEROUS.Copy !req
604. I DON'T WANT TO
SEE ANYONE DIE.Copy !req
605. WHAT'S WRONG?Copy !req
606. JUGGLERS JUST
FREAK ME OUT.Copy !req
607. WATCH OUT, DUDE.Copy !req
608. WHOA!Copy !req
609. NO.Copy !req
610. OH, MY GOD.
WHAT WAS THAT?Copy !req
611. I HAVE NO IDEA.Copy !req
612. I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU SMOKED A PIPE.Copy !req
613. YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.Copy !req
614. HE PUT HIS HANDS ON ME.Copy !req
615. LAST TIME I CHECKED,
BEING PISSED OFF WASN'T
ENOUGH OF A REASONCopy !req
616. TO REMOVE A PERSON'S
SOUL FROM THEIR BODY.Copy !req
617. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.Copy !req
618. I DIDN'T KNOW HE'D TURN
INTO A NUT BALL.Copy !req
619. WELL, HOW WOULD YOU HAVE
RESPONDED, ROXY?Copy !req
620. GOD APPEARED TO THE MAN.Copy !req
621. I WOULDN'T BE
MAKING UP WORDS AND SHIT.Copy !req
622. WELL,
HE'S CREATING A MYTHOLOGY
TO TAKE BACK TO HIS PEOPLE.Copy !req
623. JOSEPH SMITH HAD THE
SAME THING HAPPEN TO HIM,Copy !req
624. AND NOW THE MORMONS
HAVE A MONOPOLY
ON THE HOTEL INDUSTRY.Copy !req
625. THIS IS NOTHING.Copy !req
626. A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW,
PEOPLE WILL HAVECopy !req
627. PLASTIC METER MAIDS
WITH BOBBING HEADSCopy !req
628. HANGING FROM
THEIR REAR-VIEW MIRRORS.Copy !req
629. WELL, WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?Copy !req
630. IT'S ABOUT RESTORING
THE STATUS QUO.Copy !req
631. THE GUY WASN'T SUPPOSED
TO GET ENLIGHTENED.Copy !req
632. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET
A PARKING TICKET.Copy !req
633. YOU'VE GOT TO TURN HIM BACK
INTO A PRICK.Copy !req
634. IF YOU EVER TAKE
SOMEONE'S SOUL AGAINCopy !req
635. WITHOUT FIRST
HAVING A POST-IT,Copy !req
636. I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS
PIPE OFF IN YOUR ASS.Copy !req
637. YOU'RE RIGHT. THEY DO
LOOK LIKE CHICKENS.Copy !req
638. SOMEHOW YOU JUST CAN'T
SEE IT RIGHTSIDE-UP.Copy !req
639. DO YOU THINK
HE LOOKS SAD?Copy !req
640. WHO?Copy !req
641. PROFESSOR LASS.Copy !req
642. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
643. I GUESS NOT, HUH?Copy !req
644. WELL, YOU DO KNOW
HIS STORY, RIGHT?Copy !req
645. WHAT STORY?Copy !req
646. HIS DAUGHTER
WAS THE GIRLCopy !req
647. THAT WAS KILLED
BY THE FALLING
TOILET SEAT.Copy !req
648. NO SHIT.
THAT WAS HIS DAUGHTER?Copy !req
649. YEAH, AND I THINK
HIS RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIS WIFECopy !req
650. IS, LIKE,
TOTALLY FUCKED UP.Copy !req
651. HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?Copy !req
652. I DON'T KNOW.
HE GIVES AWAY CLUES IN CLASS.Copy !req
653. PEOPLE TALK.Copy !req
654. DOES HE TALK ABOUT IT?Copy !req
655. HIS WIFE?
HIS DAUGHTER.Copy !req
656. THE ONE THAT...Copy !req
657. HE DOESN'T REALLY
SAY ANYTHING.Copy !req
658. I GUESS HE DOESN'T REALLY
THINK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
659. NO, NO, IT'S THERE...Copy !req
660. IN HOW HE TALKS
ABOUT THE POEMS.Copy !req
661. I DON'T KNOW,
YOU CAN TELL HIS HEART...Copy !req
662. HE'S SUFFERED, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
663. IT'S SO STUPID,
BUT I HAD THIS ONE
SONNET FRAMED,Copy !req
664. AND I DON'T KNOW,Copy !req
665. I THOUGHT
IT MIGHT HELP HIM.Copy !req
666. I NEVER GAVE IT
TO HIM, THOUGH.Copy !req
667. WHAT WAS IT?Copy !req
668. I MEMORIZED IT.
I KNOW. I'M SUCH A GEEK.Copy !req
669. "NO LONGER MOURN FOR ME
WHEN I AM DEAD.Copy !req
670. "NAY, IF YOU READ THIS LINE,Copy !req
671. "REMEMBER NOT
THE HAND THAT WRIT IT,Copy !req
672. "FOR I LOVE YOU SOCopy !req
673. "THAT IN YOUR
SWEET THOUGHTSCopy !req
674. "I'D BE FORGOT,Copy !req
675. IF THINKING ON ME
THEN SHOULD MAKE YOU WOE."Copy !req
676. YOU KNOW, MOVE ON.
SHE'D WANT IT THAT WAY.Copy !req
677. I THINK THAT'S A MISTAKE.Copy !req
678. WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
THAT MAYBE, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
679. IT WOULD GIVE HIM
SOME COMFORT.Copy !req
680. I DON'T KNOW.
HE SEEMS READY TO MOVE ON.Copy !req
681. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
682. THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
683. YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T
REALIZE WHAT TIME IS IS.
I'VE GOT TO GO.Copy !req
684. HEY, UM...Copy !req
685. CHARLOTTE HAD HURT ME,Copy !req
686. SO I TOLD HER I NEVER WANTED
TO SEE HER AGAINCopy !req
687. THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW.Copy !req
688. I'LL CALL YOU.Copy !req
689. ONE OF THE FEW
SILVER LININGS OF DYINGCopy !req
690. IS WATCHING
THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE
REALLY LOSE THEIR SHITCopy !req
691. BECAUSE THEY
MISS YOU SO MUCH.Copy !req
692. I WAS HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE
SEEING IT HERE.Copy !req
693. I HAD TO WONDER.Copy !req
694. MAYBE THE REASON
IT WAS SO EASYCopy !req
695. FOR MY DAD
TO SAY GOODBYE TO ME
TWO MONTHS AGOCopy !req
696. WAS THAT HE'D ALREADY
SAID GOODBYE TO ME
A LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.Copy !req
697. MOO-LOO,
NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO.Copy !req
698. MAY-NAY, LAY-NAY,
VAY-ZAY.Copy !req
699. MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO.Copy !req
700. MAY-NAY,
LAY-NAY, VAY-ZAY.Copy !req
701. SOMEONE'S KNOCKING
AT THE DOOR.
MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO.Copy !req
702. MAY-NAY, LAY-NAY,
VAY-ZAY.Copy !req
703. MOO-NOO...Copy !req
704. I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU
BREAK UP WITH ME.Copy !req
705. MAY-LAY,
MAY-LAY, VAY-ZAY...Copy !req
706. OKAY? I'M HERE TO APOLOGIZE.
THIS IS FOR YOU.Copy !req
707. MAY-LAY, MAY-LAY,
VAY-ZAY.Copy !req
708. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
WRONG, CHARLOTTE.Copy !req
709. I'M JUST... SCREWED UP.Copy !req
710. LOOK, THIS IS THE PART
IN OUR FRIENDSHIPCopy !req
711. WHERE WE START TO ADMIT
THAT WE'RE NOT PERFECT.Copy !req
712. MOO-LOO,
NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO.Copy !req
713. WHAT IS THAT NOISE?Copy !req
714. CUTE TOP.Copy !req
715. SO, UM, DO YOU WANT TO GO
DO SOMETHING?Copy !req
716. MOO-LOO,
NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO.Copy !req
717. SURE.Copy !req
718. MAY-LAY,
NAY-LAY, VAY-ZAY.Copy !req
719. NO.Copy !req
720. I WAS...
I WAS PASSING BY.Copy !req
721. I'M—I'M GOING TO GO
OUT FOR THE EVENING,Copy !req
722. AND I THOUGHT
I'D STOP BYCopy !req
723. AND SEE SOME
OLD FRIENDS.Copy !req
724. MASON...
YOU LOOK STUNNING.Copy !req
725. WAIT, WAIT.
I'M GETTING THE IMAGECopy !req
726. OF A NAKED
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSCopy !req
727. BLEEDING BY
A DUMPSTER SOMEWHERE.Copy !req
728. OH, CHARLOTTE.
YEAH, OH.Copy !req
729. WHAT A PLEASANT
SURPRISE.Copy !req
730. HELLO, MASON.Copy !req
731. WE'RE GOING OUT.Copy !req
732. REALLY?Copy !req
733. I—I WOULD LOVE
TO JOIN YOU.Copy !req
734. WELL, IT'S GIRLS
NIGHT OUT.Copy !req
735. WE'RE GOING OUT
TO LESBIAN BARS
TO DRINK JACK DANIELSCopy !req
736. AND MAKE OUT
WITH BIG WOMEN.Copy !req
737. YOU CAN'T COME.
UM...Copy !req
738. UH, BYE.Copy !req
739. OH...Copy !req
740. OH, GIVE IT UP.Copy !req
741. I LIKE HER.Copy !req
742. SWEETIE...Copy !req
743. THAT YOUNG WOMAN IS
GOING TO GIVE HER HEART
TO A NICE YOUNG MANCopy !req
744. WHO HAS READING GLASSES
AND A TWEED JACKETCopy !req
745. AND WHO HAS NEVER
DONE BLOWCopy !req
746. OFF THE BELLY
OF A DEAD PROSTITUTE.Copy !req
747. I LIKE HER.Copy !req
748. I KNOW.Copy !req
749. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.Copy !req
750. I CAN'T BELIEVE
I WAS CARDED.Copy !req
751. YOU KNOW,Copy !req
752. YOU DO LOOK LIKE
YOU'RE TEN YEARS OLD.Copy !req
753. SHUT UP. I LOOK
AT LEAST 14.Copy !req
754. AND THE GIGGLING
DIDN'T HELP MUCH.Copy !req
755. I'M SORRY I FREAKED OUT
ON YOU TODAY.Copy !req
756. YOU KNOW, I WAS ACTUALLY
THINKING ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
757. UM, I SHOULDN'T GIVE
PROFESSOR LASS THE POEM.Copy !req
758. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
759. MAYBE IT'S NOT SO CRAZY
AFTER ALL.Copy !req
760. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
COMING FROM ME.Copy !req
761. I HAVE NEVER LOST ANYTHING
MY WHOLE LIFE.Copy !req
762. I'VE HAD THIS COMPLETELY
SHALLOW, SAFE EXISTENCE.Copy !req
763. WELL, DON'T KNOCK IT.Copy !req
764. I'M A VIRGIN.Copy !req
765. YEAH, I'M IN COLLEGE,
AND I'M A VIRGIN.Copy !req
766. LOSER.Copy !req
767. UH... YOU TOO?Copy !req
768. WELL, IT DEPENDS
ON YOUR DEFINITION.Copy !req
769. UM, EVER BEEN LAID?Copy !req
770. THEN, YES, TECHNICALLY,
I AM A VIRGIN.Copy !req
771. AH-HA.
THANK YOU.Copy !req
772. LOOK, I KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH STUFF.Copy !req
773. I DON'T KNOW,
I CAN JUST SENSE IT.Copy !req
774. YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF
REMIND ME OF HIM,Copy !req
775. THE WAY HE TALKS
ABOUT LOVE... AND LOSS.Copy !req
776. OH, HIS EYES...Copy !req
777. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GOING
TO GIVE IT TO HIM.Copy !req
778. I'M GOING TO GIVE HIM
THE SONNET.Copy !req
779. ALL RIGHT, CHEERS.Copy !req
780. I HAD YOUR CAR TOWED.Copy !req
781. IT'S GOING TO COST YOU $375
TO GET IT BACK,Copy !req
782. PLUS ALL THE TICKETS,Copy !req
783. AND THEY BUSTED
YOUR DOOR
TRYING TO GET IN,Copy !req
784. SO YOU COULD KISS
YOUR CAR RADIO GOODBYE.Copy !req
785. YOU'RE A VENGEFUL GOD.Copy !req
786. I CAN APPRECIATECopy !req
787. THAT YOU THINK YOU HAD
SOME KIND OF REVELATION,Copy !req
788. BUT I AM JUST
A METER MAID,Copy !req
789. AND YOU ARE JUST
A DUMB-ASS REDNECK.Copy !req
790. THAT'S WHO WE ARE,Copy !req
791. SO WE CAN FORGET
ALL THIS BULLSHITCopy !req
792. AND JUST GET ON WITH IT.Copy !req
793. WHO IS THIS?Copy !req
794. THIS IS JASON.Copy !req
795. I TOLD JASON
ABOUT THE HAGGLEBLASS,Copy !req
796. AND HE'S BEGUN HIS CONVERSION.
HAVEN'T YOU, BUDDY?Copy !req
797. CAN YOU GIVE US
A MINUTE, JASON?Copy !req
798. GO ON.
FUCK OFF, OKAY?Copy !req
799. I KNOW YOU DO THIS
JUST TO MAKE ME STRONGER.Copy !req
800. I KNOW IT.Copy !req
801. CHUCKIE, I WANT YOU
TO LISTEN TO ME, OKAY?Copy !req
802. GOD MADE A MISTAKE.Copy !req
803. HE WANTS YOU TO GO BACK
TO THE WAY YOU WERE.Copy !req
804. GOD WANTS YOU
TO BE AN ASSHOLE,Copy !req
805. SO YOU CAN FORGET ALL THIS
HAGGLEBLASSING, OKAY?Copy !req
806. HE WANTS YOU TO BE
YOUR OLD JACKASS
SELF AGAIN.Copy !req
807. OKAY, THIS IS A TEST.Copy !req
808. THERE'S NOTHING
THAT YOU COULD DO—Copy !req
809. THERE'S NOTHING
THAT YOU COULD DOCopy !req
810. TO MAKE ME GO BACK
TO MY OLD SELF.Copy !req
811. THERE'S NOTHING.
THERE'S NOTHING.Copy !req
812. NOTHING,
NOTHING, NOTHING...Copy !req
813. NO!Copy !req
814. DAH! FUCK!Copy !req
815. THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT!Copy !req
816. WHAT'S MY NAME?
FAT-ASS BITCH!Copy !req
817. THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
818. THAT'S WHO
YOU ARE, BABY!Copy !req
819. THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!Copy !req
820. SO HERE I WAS,
SITTING OPPOSITE MY FATHER,Copy !req
821. MY FRIEND
ABOUT TO GIVE HIM A POEMCopy !req
822. ENCOURAGING HIM
TO LET GO OF ME FOREVER,Copy !req
823. AND I THOUGHT
THINGS WERE TWISTED ENOUGH
WHEN I WAS ALIVE.Copy !req
824. SO, I DIDN'T MEAN
FOR THE MESSAGE
TO BE SO DRAMATIC.Copy !req
825. I LIKE DRAMA.Copy !req
826. I HOPE WE'RE NOT PULLING YOU
AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY.
THAT'S OKAY.Copy !req
827. WHAT DID YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT?Copy !req
828. CHARLOTTE WANTED
TO GIVE HIM A POEM,Copy !req
829. AND I WANTED TO ASK HIM
ABOUT HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER.Copy !req
830. I WANTED TO KNOW
IF HE THOUGHT ABOUT ME.Copy !req
831. SO, THE COMEDIES
NEXT SEMESTER?Copy !req
832. FUN, HUH?Copy !req
833. UH, WE JUST WANTED
TO TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH.Copy !req
834. UM, WHAT YOU SAY
IN YOUR CLASS,Copy !req
835. IT REALLY MAKES US THINK
ABOUT STUFF,Copy !req
836. AND WE JUST WANTED
TO SAY THANK YOU.Copy !req
837. CHARLOTTE WAS CHICKENING OUT.Copy !req
838. I SHOULD HAVE TOO...Copy !req
839. BUT I WAS THE ONLY
DEAD GIRL I KNEWCopy !req
840. WHO COULD GET AN ANSWER.Copy !req
841. SO, DO YOU MISS
YOUR DAUGHTER?Copy !req
842. YOU KNOW, I THINK THE POETS
DO THE WORLD A FAVORCopy !req
843. BY TURNING THEMSELVES
INSIDE OUT.Copy !req
844. I TEACH POETRY.
THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.Copy !req
845. YOU DON'T HAVE TO—Copy !req
846. WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER,
WE HAD BEEN VERY CLOSE.Copy !req
847. I THOUGHT IT WAS THIS BOND
THAT COULD NEVER BE BROKEN,Copy !req
848. BUT IT WAS,
ALMOST EFFORTLESSLY.Copy !req
849. I KNEW THAT
SHE HAD TO GROW,Copy !req
850. AND GROW APART
FROM ME...Copy !req
851. I HAD FAITH THAT
IF I JUST DIDN'T MEDDLE,Copy !req
852. IF I LET HER FLY AWAY,Copy !req
853. EVENTUALLY SHE WOULD
COME BACK TO ME.Copy !req
854. I—I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS
ALL THE TIME WE'D HAVE.Copy !req
855. SHIT. GOD,
I AM SORRY.Copy !req
856. OKAY, HANG ON.Copy !req
857. CAN I GET A TOWEL
OR SOMETHING?Copy !req
858. AND THAT'S
HOW MY DAD MOVED ON...Copy !req
859. WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM HIS FRIENDS.Copy !req
860. MY DAD WAS RIGHT.Copy !req
861. HUMAN BEINGS ARE SIMPLE,
PREDICTABLE CLICHES...Copy !req
862. BROKEN HEARTS. BETRAYAL.Copy !req
863. IT'S ALL BEEN DONE
A BILLION TIMES BEFORE.Copy !req
864. THE PROBLEM ISCopy !req
865. EVERY TIME STILL HURTS
LIKE THE FIRST...Copy !req
866. AND IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO RECOVER,Copy !req
867. YOU CAN BE SURE
THAT JUST AS YOU FINISHCopy !req
868. FILLING IN ALL THE CRACKS
IN YOUR LIFE,Copy !req
869. THE NEXT ONE
IS STARTING TO OPEN.Copy !req