1. Whoo!
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2. Fiddle-de-dude! Enough already!
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3. Prithee, Milady Danvers!
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4. Hark! Hark and thither!
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5. Uponst this most
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6. portentous morn,
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7. at the eminent Faire of thine
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8. Renaissance,
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9. do nottest thou callest me
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10. of mine olde moniker
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11. "Babs" and stuff!
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12. In lieu, I beseech thee,
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13. referest thou to my humble
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14. personage as...
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15. Lady Barbara de Gordon,
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16. First of her Name,
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17. Maker of Burritos,
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18. Daughter of Jim.
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19. C'mon, Kara!
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20. The Renaissance Faire
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21. is only fun if you play along!
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22. Uh-uh, dude,
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23. I'm only here
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24. for two things, 'kay,
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25. to eat turkey legs
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26. and to laugh at geeks.
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27. Hey, guys!
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28. Speaking of which...
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29. Wow! Great costumes.
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30. Thanks. I'm an Elvin Ranger...
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31. Zee and Diana are
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32. running late.
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33. They'll meet us inside.
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34. Then let us not tarry!
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35. Into the Faire we goooooo.
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36. Uh-huh. This isn't
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37. The Renaissance Faire
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38. they were talking about
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39. in the news, is it?
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40. You know, the one where
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41. some people go and
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42. never come back?
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43. Yeah! 'Cause it's awesome!
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44. Forget those rumors, Karen.
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45. They're just trying
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46. to scare people off
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47. to keep the crowds down,
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48. so they don't run out
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49. of turkey legs.
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50. Hey, did someone say
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51. turkey legs?
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52. Oh, hey, there.
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53. I'd like one turkey leg
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54. to go...
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55. Amber.
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56. - It's Ember.
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57. - Got it.
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58. Leg me, Amber!
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59. And the corn
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60. on the cob
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61. on a stick.
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62. Ugh!
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63. Thanks, Ember.
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64. I'm a little surprised
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65. you came today.
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66. I didn't think Renaissances
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67. Faires were really your thing.
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68. You kidding? I love this.
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69. Ha! Geek!
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70. Sorry about her, Amber.
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71. It's Ember.
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72. Ugh!
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73. - Hey, geek!
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74. I'm ready for round two.
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75. - Hmm?
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76. Time is turkey legs.
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77. Let's go!
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78. Ugh!
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79. Keep 'em coming, Amber.
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80. I'm starving!
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81. That's right.
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82. Yeah, keep it. Yeah.
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83. Right.
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84. And, one for the chompers.
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85. Aaaah!
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86. Okay. Thanks, geek.
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87. You think
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88. you're hungry,
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89. I haven't had a decent meal
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90. in centuries.
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91. You call
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92. these princesses?
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93. Blech. Bland. Tasteless.
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94. Nothing but empty calories.
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95. What I wouldn't do
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96. for an old-fashioned,
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97. authentic, delicious,
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98. delectable...
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99. Wait! Is that?
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100. After all these years.
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101. A real princess!
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102. Hello, my subjects.
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103. Oh, photos are encouraged.
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104. Oh, and don't forget,
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105. Hashtag Princess Zee.
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106. Though two gorgeous
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107. princesses would be far more
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108. social media-worthy.
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109. What do you mean?
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110. I am dressed as a princess,
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111. as instructed.
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112. That is not "princess."
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113. This...
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114. is "Princess."
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115. Indeed not.
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116. Huh?
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117. "Princess" is a title
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118. of birthright,
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119. defended on the field
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120. of battle, then passed down
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121. from one generation
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122. to the next.
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123. One's dress is not a factor.
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124. Uh, it's the only factor!
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125. What's the point of being
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126. a princess if you don't get
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127. to be gorgeous?
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128. The actual point of being
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129. a princess is leadership
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130. and diplomacy.
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131. Where's the fun in that?
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132. Who said ruling kingdoms
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133. is fun?
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134. totally late but it's okay
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135. Oh, there you guys are.
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136. Come on,
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137. let's go have some fun.
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138. Pfft! Never in my 317 years,
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139. have I seen criminals
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140. allowed the fries of France.
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141. Everything here
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142. is most inauthentic.
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143. Except for the turkey legs.
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144. - Which look delicious.
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145. What's inauthentic?
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146. There's Ye Olde
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147. Snack Bar,
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148. Ye Olde ATM Machine,
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149. Ye Olde WiFi Mobile Hot Spot!
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150. Forget it, Babs,
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151. you're talking to the princess
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152. of party poop, here.
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153. If I must.
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154. Huzaah!
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155. Whoa! Woo!
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156. Hark, Diana!
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157. A giant mace!
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158. Authentic, am I right!
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159. And dense!
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160. - Authentic!
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161. This workmanship is
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162. crude and lazy.
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163. Hmm.
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164. Much better!
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165. And now, I remove
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166. her hood,
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167. so she knows the hunt
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168. is about to begin.
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169. Come on, wake up,
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170. Milady Hawk.
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171. Insolence.
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172. Diana, will you just...
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173. - Hey!
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174. - Fool!
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175. This falcon does not
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176. respect you.
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177. - Hey!
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178. - Away, hunter of game.
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179. Heed your noble calling
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180. and seek worthy prey!
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181. Milady Hawk.
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182. - Well, thanks a lot, Diana.
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183. You ruined the whole show.
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184. Get off me!
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185. Stop it!
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186. What is this?
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187. I do not understand.
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188. You know,
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189. for the first time today,
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190. I'm with Diana.
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191. That is gross.
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192. Eww!
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193. What's not to get?
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194. They're pathetic
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195. peasant dudes
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196. - throwing mud at each other.
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197. It's hi-larious!
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198. I understand that.
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199. What I do not understand
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200. is why they are using
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201. mud so unsuitable
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202. to proper throwing.
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203. That mud contains
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204. far too much pig filth.
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205. Pig filth?
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206. Finally, the main event.
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207. Ugh!
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208. Evomer tops.
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209. Zee, what are
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210. you doing?
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211. You can't do magic in public!
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212. Well, what choice
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213. do I have?
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214. A real princess can't receive
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215. her knights covered in filth!
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216. Our champions shall choose
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217. a fair maiden to fight for.
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218. Pray tell, who shall
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219. they offer their rose?
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220. Your princess awaits, boys.
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221. Huh?
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222. Huh!
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223. Oh, aren't you just adorable.
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224. Tsk. A disgrace.
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225. I've never seen
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226. such poor equestrianship.
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227. One should have
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228. slain the other by now.
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229. Why do you encourage
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230. this charade?
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231. - Grr.
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232. - Clearly, you're stronger
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233. than both of them put together.
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234. - And that says much, for you
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235. are so physically weak.
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236. Oops. Reflexes.
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237. Grr! What is your problem?
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238. Can't you just
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239. play along? Just once?
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240. You get to be miss island
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241. warrior princess thingy
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242. every day of the year.
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243. Would it kill you to let me
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244. be a princess for one day?
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245. This is folly. One cannot be
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246. princess for only one day.
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247. - It is a lifetime
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248. of solemn responsibility—
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249. You know what,
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250. why don't you just
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251. go ahead and be
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252. "Responsible
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253. Princess Diana"
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254. with a lifetime
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255. of drudgery and awfulness,
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256. somewhere else!
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257. I'm going to go
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258. and enjoy the rest
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259. of my day.
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260. And I shall be responsible
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261. Princess Diana
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262. with a lifetime of drudgery
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263. and awfulness
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264. in this direction,
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265. far away from you
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266. and your delusions
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267. of nobility!
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268. Ah.
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269. I'm so smart.
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270. And being a princess
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271. is terrible and filthy
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272. and no fun.
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273. Just one day,
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274. that's all I wanted.
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275. Well, hello, there, Princess.
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