DC Super Hero Girls 1x32

Directed by

Oliver Queen sabotages the audition of Mortimer Drake for a play written and directed by Zee, and later finds that Mortimer is out for revenge on Zee for upstaging him in a play years ago. The episode was released on Video-On-Demand on December 18, 2019.

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1. "Um, avast scalawag.

2. I'm, uh, Swash Buckler,

3. scourge of the Seven Seas."

4. "Avast scalawag...

5. I'm swashbuckler

6. scourge of the sev—"

7. Swash Buckler,

8. not swashbuckler!

9. Oh...

10. I don't get it.

11. So, yeah like, um...

12. go ahead and

13. avast, Mr. Scalawag,

14. 'cause I'm,

15. like, Swash Buckler,

16. the scourge

17. of the Seven Seas

18. and stuff, and...

19. Read the lines, Hal!

20. Oh, right. Uh...

21. "Swash Buckler

22. enters stage right.

23. He stands upon

24. the deck of the..."

25. Next!

26. Ugh. This is a disaster, Karen.

27. Swash Buckler

28. on the Seven Seas

29. could be the best play

30. I've ever done!

31. The costumes are hand-sewn,

32. soaked in saltwater

33. for authenticity...

34. The Impolite Minnow

35. is the most ambitious set

36. in Metropolis High history!

37. And the finest

38. most gifted actor

39. ever to grace this stage

40. will play Lady Catharine.

41. But I thought you were

42. playing Lady Catharine?

43. Look, the point is,

44. none of this matters

45. if I can't find

46. the right actor

47. to play Swash Buckler!

48. Greetings, company!

49. Stage role.

50. Your leading man has arrived.

51. Oh, no.

52. The name is Oliver Queen.

53. I've portrayed everyone

54. from the Phantom

55. to the Streetcar.

56. Lois Lane of the

57. Daily Planetoid

58. has called my performances

59. "bold,"brash,"

60. and "bang on the beam,"

61. which I assume

62. means good. So...

63. do you want to go through

64. with this charade

65. of me auditioning

66. or shall we proceed

67. to dress rehearsal?

68. I dunno Zee,

69. Oliver seems pretty perfect.

70. Uh, I hate to admit it...

71. I mean, really hate

72. to admit it, but—

73. "Avast, ye scalawags!

74. "I am Swash Buckler,

75. scourge of the

76. Seven Seas!

77. Look not to this coward

78. for salvation!

79. With Swash Buckler

80. at the helm,

81. the horizon holds treasures

82. to last to your dying days!

83. There's no chains

84. to hold you now, men!"

85. "Fill the sails

86. with freedom's wind!

87. And throw that bloated symbol

88. of yesteryear to the sharks!"

89. Yeah!

90. Put me down!

91. What are you doing?

92. Ha-ha!

93. Who are you, stranger?

94. Who am I?

95. Why, I'm your new

96. Swash Buckler, m'lady!

97. No you're not, sir!

98. Put me down.

99. You're not seriously

100. considering this hack, are you?

101. You are!

102. You are, aren't you!

103. Look at me!

104. What do I do, Karen?

105. A second ago I didn't have

106. a Swash Buckler

107. and now I've got two!

108. Maybe you should do callbacks

109. and then decide?

110. Hmm.

111. Oliver would hate that...

112. Callbacks!

113. Ha! I've never been

114. so insulted in my life.

115. Who is this arrogant,

116. incompetent, pompous—

117. Mortimer... Drake.

118. And, um,

119. don't be so hard on Zee.

120. She's just trying to make sure

121. the right person

122. gets the role, you know?

123. As she should!

124. As long as it's me.

125. "Dawn breaks

126. in the west tonight, men.

127. The laws of this mortal world

128. no longer bind us.

129. We are here

130. to brave the sirens

131. and sea herself."

132. Time to push this

133. pointless competition

134. over the tipping... point.

135. "... sailors on

136. eternity's tides.

137. So come on girl,

138. listen to me,

139. uh huh, uh-huh...

140. Baby, baby, oh, can't you see?

141. That me plus you...

142. equals love that's..."

143. Are those...

144. Up Past Eight lyrics?

145. Thank you, I've heard enough.

146. But... but...

147. I take the theater

148. very seriously, sir.

149. Perhaps as Oliver's understudy

150. you'll see that

151. there's no room

152. for these sorts of

153. sophomoric jokes

154. on my stage.

155. Of course.

156. I respect your decision.

157. The important thing is that

158. the right person gets the role.

159. "Ready the Impolite Minnow.

160. My Uncle will rue the day

161. he crossed me."

162. "Of course, Lady Catharine.

163. We'll reach the channel

164. by sundown...

165. and my men shall—"

166. You!

167. I'm warning you, Drake.

168. No funny business tonight.

169. I'm sure I don't know

170. what you're

171. talking about, Queen.

172. Oh, you know perfectly well

173. what I'm talking about!

174. You've been trying to

175. sabotage me

176. ever since I...

177. sabotaged you

178. in callbacks.

179. Well I know your game, Drake.

180. Wait.

181. You sabotaged

182. his audition?

183. Of course!

184. The best person

185. had to have the role!

186. I... agree.

187. So you will be playing

188. Swash Buckler tonight.

189. What?

190. I need a leading man

191. with character,

192. which you clearly don't have.

193. Sabotaging a rival, why,

194. it's an insult to the theater!

195. Thanks for the opportunity.

196. Sorry, Oliver. But, um,

197. look at it this way.

198. Now you'll have a chance

199. to redeem yourself.

200. You know,

201. to be the bigger man!

202. Maybe you lost the part,

203. but you can gain

204. something even better!

205. Your integrity.

206. You can stand up and say,

207. "I did wrong and I accept

208. the consequences."

209. No, that doesn't

210. sound like me.

211. I'm gonna go trash

212. his dressing room instead.

213. Ahhh!

214. Ugh, no style!

215. - Look at this shirt,

216. it's last season!

217. Huh?

218. Hmm. A fifth grade production

219. of The Three Musketeers?

220. Pssh. How cliche.

221. "The cast is generally strong.

222. However, Morty Drake

223. is horribly out of his depth

224. as D'Artagnan.

225. It's an embarrassing turn

226. from an 11-year-old

227. who lacks

228. the necessary gravitas

229. for the part."

230. Once a hack,

231. always a hack.

232. "On the other end

233. of the spectrum...

234. Zee Zatara was radiant in

235. the role of Milady de Winter,

236. acting circles around

237. hapless Morty Drake."

238. "Up anchor, men!

239. Sail east,

240. to the heart of

241. King James' dominion!

242. Let's show him how

243. the Impolite Minnow

244. earned her name!"

245. "Oh, But Swash,

246. how can we evade

247. my uncle's entire fleet?"

248. "Fear not, Lady Catharine.

249. I have experience

250. in treacherous waters

251. with sharks lurking below,

252. their sharp teeth ready

253. to shred your dreams."

254. What?

255. Wait, that isn't the line...

256. I, too,

257. have had dreams crushed,

258. Lady Catharine.

259. I know the exquisite sting

260. of public humiliation,

261. repeating that awful experience

262. in your mind

263. until you realize

264. that you'll never escape!

265. I know what it's like

266. to be stuck in the

267. worst day imaginable,

268. the day my life

269. was ruined by...

270. - you, Zee Zatara!

271. What are you doing?

272. Hear my name well,

273. for it is the last

274. that shall ever

275. reach your ears.

276. I am...

277. The Cavalier!

278. Though perhaps

279. you might remember me

280. by a different name.

281. Does Mortimer Drake

282. ring a bell?

283. Morty Drake, you know...

284. I was D'Artagnan

285. to your Milady de Winter?

286. Central City Elementary?

287. I... I meet so many people...

288. Gah!

289. You shall pay for your crimes,

290. Zee Zatara!

291. I shall have my revenge!

292. Fear not, fair lady!

293. Green Arrow

294. is here to save you!

295. Ew, ew, get off! Get off!

296. Who asked you

297. to save anybody?

298. Ha! Give me a sword!

299. This is the

300. weirdest play ever.

301. En garde!

302. Stay out of my way,

303. Green Arrow.

304. Or taste the bitter steel

305. of my blade!

306. Never, Cavalier!

307. I will always protect

308. my friends!

309. Even friends I hate,

310. like Zee Zatara!

311. - Huh?

312. Eh, you're quite good

313. with a blade, Cavalier.

314. But you've never

315. faced anything

316. like what's in my quiver.

317. Ha! Your aim

318. is as muddled

319. as your elocution,

320. Green Arrow.

321. How dare you criticize

322. my delivery!

323. Meet my cannonball arrow.

324. Lower the curtain, Karen!

325. My play is ruined!

326. Raise the curtain, Karen!

327. My play is a triumph!

328. You deserve

329. those bad reviews,

330. you melodramatic hack!

331. And you've got about

332. as much stage presence as her!

333. Hey!

334. Ha!

335. Ha, ha!

336. Oh!

337. Ha!

338. Oh!

339. - Ha!

340. Prepare for your final

341. curtain call, Green Arrow...

342. There's only one way

343. to stop you...

344. My Heckler Arrows.

345. Always knew

346. they'd come in handy

347. some day.

348. No! Make it stop! Please!

349. No!

350. Remember me, friends.

351. As a villain,

352. a rogue,

353. a pirate captain in a facile,

354. witless play...

355. What?

356. remember me most of all

357. for that which

358. burns in my soul...

359. remember me...

360. always as... an...

361. actor.

362. Cavalier! I didn't mean...

363. I never...

364. I'm so sorry.

365. Thank you. Thank you.

366. You're remarkable!

367. That was the most

368. convincing death scene

369. I've ever witnessed.

370. I was lying before,

371. your delivery

372. is exquisite.

373. You could even make

374. this terrible play sound good.

375. Oh. You're too kind.

376. Your immense talent shows

377. right through her

378. unimaginative direction.

379. And how about her acting?

380. As dynamic as a wet cloth

381. draped over a radiator.

382. Okay. I'm right here, guys,

383. you know, right here.

384. - A-ha!