1. So what's life like in the apocalypse?
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2. It's never what you'd expect.
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3. What are you doing?
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4. Stop looking at me and turn around.
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5. Is this the thing where you won't reveal
Baron Triumph to make people watch?
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6. You know they call that
schmuck bait, right?
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7. Like at the end of a season
when they kill a main character,
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8. but it's actually another dude's guts
getting eaten by zombies,
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9. and the guy that you love is fine.
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10. People hate that.
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11. No way, I'm not going in the mall.
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12. The most embarrassing story of my life
happened in there,
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13. and I never wanna live it again.
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14. It'd be like stabbing myself in the heart,
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15. pulling it out, eating it, pooping it,
and then putting it back into my chest.
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16. Okay, fine. Shit, let's just go.
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17. There weren't chains in my flashback.
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18. So I'm here to hang with Sam,
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19. even though I kind of told her
I hate the mall.
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20. No one really like malls today.
They're dying.
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21. Online shopping is popping
a cap in the ass
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22. of these monuments of capitalism,
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23. but it wasn't always that way.
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24. The first mall in America
was built in Edina, Minnesota, in 1956.
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25. It had ample parking, always 70 degrees,
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26. and skylights made every day sunny.
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27. I mean, you could be
handsome or beautiful...
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28. or you could eat anything you want.
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29. Wanna try our dill pickle gelato?
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30. Yes. Yes, I would. Thank you.
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31. Mm-hmm.
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32. Oh, my God.
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33. Ugh!
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34. Truth is, malls are important.
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35. The first mall was built in sixth-century
Athens, and it changed us forever.
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36. The hunters fighting for survival
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37. became shoppers hunting
for a good Labor Day mattress sale.
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38. - Oh...
- Oooh.
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39. Looks like Wheeler launched
a preemptive strike in his pants.
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40. - Damn!
- Premie creamy.
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41. Hoyles, you're the worst.
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42. What're you gonna do?
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43. Oh...
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44. Here's another reason
I hate the mall: pants.
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45. I have a long torso,
and I can never find pants in my size.
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46. Nothing fits.
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47. Ugh.
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48. Point is, I, like my pants,
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49. didn't fit in. But now, today,
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50. I'm living the Armageddon dream.
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51. I have everything I ever wanted:
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52. freedom, cars, big jar of Nutella.
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53. Only thing I'm missing is... Sam.
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54. And I'd never see her again
if I threw down with Baron Triumph.
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55. But then, this happened.
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56. 'Sup, turds.
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57. This is who we've been scared of?
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58. A light breeze could kick his ass.
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59. I thought it was gonna be Hoyles.
This is...
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60. Who is this again?
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61. It's Eli.
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62. You may not remember him,
but you've all seen Eli before.
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63. Eli Cardashyan?
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64. I prefer Eazy-E.
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65. Eli isn't a real Kardashian Kardashian.
Same name...
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66. spelled different,
which explains most everything about Eli.
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67. I am the definition
of cultural appropriation.
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68. Eli's parents only bought knockoffs.
Check his kicks.
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69. Pikeys, not Nikes...
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70. with a fish, not a swoosh.
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71. What're you gonna do?
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72. And I know what you're thinking.
How can this kid be a killer cannibal?
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73. He's not. Look closer.
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74. Shoulder pads, lifts in his boots.
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75. It's not even a Triumph motorcycle.
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76. And training wheels?
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77. It's fine.
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78. It's fine!
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79. He's a knockoff Baron Triumph.
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80. Knockoff?
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81. Yo, I'm the OG gangsta of the SG Valley.
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82. King of bling,
raja of the shopping center.
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83. Sure, fine, but who else is here with you?
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84. Where's Sam Dean?
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85. - Do I look like her publicist?
- Sam's not here?
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86. Sorry, it's just me and my girlf, Mavis.
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87. You have the entire mall? You?
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88. I'm dominating.
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89. While you nooblets have been
playing the apocalypse on easy mode,
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90. I'm the boss level.
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91. You used aluminum foil
to write "Triumph" on your bike.
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92. Pshht!
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93. After the bomb exploded
and everyone scampered like Smurfs,
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94. who came here and locked
this shit tighter than a nun's vag?
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95. Eli. Who's living
like the Sultan of Dubai?
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96. - Eli.
- You mean the Sultan of Brunei.
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97. What? No. Where is Brunei, huh?
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98. Dubai, where sultans like me rule empires.
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99. You know, one lap a day dressed like this
keeps all you looters away,
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100. so how you like me now, Wesley Fists?
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101. I like you just fine.
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102. - Why wouldn't I?
- Oh, we are mortal enemies,
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103. like Moriarty and Holmes.
Batman and the Joker.
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104. Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar.
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105. You are my nemesis,
and I will have revengeance.
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106. Who are you again?
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107. Look what you assholes did!
You brought the death demon here!
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108. Us? You're the one imitating him.
It was probably your tricycle.
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109. - Faster, he's almost here.
- Get your own mall, this one's mine.
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110. We're finna get eaten out here.
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111. Got it.
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112. Hey!
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113. There's power and air conditioning.
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114. Everything is so clean.
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115. It still smells like Cinnabon.
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116. Solar panels on the roof.
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117. This is an island of paradise
in an ocean of poop.
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118. This way, quick.
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119. Go under. We'll be safe in here.
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120. What the hell?
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121. I'm not sharing my kingdom with you sheep.
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122. No one busts into Eli's mall.
And don't even try to escape.
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123. Every door is locked or booby trapped.
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124. Booby.
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125. Wesley Fists led the state
in sacks last season.
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126. Take him out, Samurai.
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127. To fight someone so obviously inferior
would be dishonorable.
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128. One punch, Wesley, come on.
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129. - One punch.
- Such actions go against my code.
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130. Code? You never even lifted a finger
when Hoyles used to fuck with me.
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131. This isn't about
what we did in high school, Joshua.
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132. What the fuck is in here with us?
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133. Ooh, a Ghoulie witch.
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134. Once upon a time,
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135. she was a normal girl
who liked hanging out at the mall.
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136. But now, she's got mad powers,
and she will fuck your shit up.
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137. She is unkillable, and she is hangry.
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138. There's no such thing as witches.
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139. Well, a few months ago, there weren't
mutant squirrels or Ghoulies either.
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140. That's right. And when the Witch
eats your intestines like spaghetti,
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141. you'll think,
"I never should've dissed King Eli."
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142. Eli...
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143. Don't worry.
I'll convince him to let you out.
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144. I'mma go full Gandhi on his ass.
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145. Hunger strike.
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146. Nice form.
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147. Perfect spiral.
It's my fault you missed my face, Turbo.
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148. Stop trying to brownnose the boss, Jerry.
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149. We don't deserve this shit.
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150. Yeah, we did our job rounding up laggers,
scouting tribes for you to conquer.
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151. We're full-fledged Lemon Pledge.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
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152. You boys are faux jocks.
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153. You're here by the grace of Turbo.
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154. And how do you repay his charity?
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155. You cost him his perfect record,
18 and 0 versus the apocalypse.
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156. Defeated by a complete unknown.
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157. - A rookie!
- His name is Josh.
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158. Tennis Josh?
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159. - No.
- Little Josh with the big truck?
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160. - Nope.
- Gay Josh or Other Gay Josh?
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161. Just Josh. Josh Wheeler.
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162. You know what you need, Turbo? A win.
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163. Get rid of the stank of defeat
with the antiperspirant of victory.
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164. - What do you know of victory, Terry?
- That's Jerry.
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165. - Terry's dead.
- R-I-P, Terry.
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166. - Playing the back nine in heaven.
- Shh.
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167. I'm captain now, says so on my shirt.
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168. You know, Turbo,
you're a conqueror who pwns.
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169. Make the other tribes
pay for the protection you provide.
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170. Assert your authority.
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171. You'll see just how well you are loved.
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172. Should we send up a group text
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173. and make these plebes
suck up to your apex-ness?
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174. Ouch.
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175. We can't open the gate.
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176. It's rigged with an IED.
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177. This is some Hunger Games-level shit.
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178. But the truth is, this place is awesome.
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179. There's food, beds,
and a ton of hair straighteners.
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180. So there's a critter problem.
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181. My parents' home had raccoons. Sames.
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182. - I can take care of varmints.
- Wait, we're not killing anyone.
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183. This was the last place Sam was seen.
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184. She's the only kid I knew
who loved the mall.
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185. What if she's this Witch?
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186. - You think she turned Ghoulie?
- You said it yourself.
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187. We have no idea what's going on.
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188. If there's even a chance,
I have to help Sam.
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189. Eye roll. You only like Sam
'cause she may have touched your dick.
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190. This is not about getting
some handy from some rando.
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191. This is love.
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192. Sam is the only actual
good person I have ever met.
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193. Here,
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194. let me show you.
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195. Sam. Hey!
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196. Hey. Bold trousers.
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197. Pretty cool, right?
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198. - Yeah.
- So...
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199. what are we doing here?
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200. You and I are gonna save the world.
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201. How are two teenagers in the mall
gonna accomplish that?
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202. Vlogging. Get your phone out.
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203. Vlog... vlogging?
That's a little yesterday of you.
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204. Look, there's so much shit-shaming
going on people's Insta stories and posts,
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205. we're all Novocained.
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206. I just wanna see what happens
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207. if/when people get an actual,
real-life compliment.
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208. Not everyone deserves a compliment.
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209. Oh, I'm so gonna prove you wrong, Eeyore.
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210. If I had a gauntlet, I'd throw it.
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211. Well, there's a sale
at the gauntlet depot.
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212. Um...
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213. Okay, okay, start with Huntley over there.
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214. Oh. Challenge accepted.
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215. Roll the camera.
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216. Hey, Jess... Jessica.
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217. Um...
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218. So I'm making this vlog,
and I just wanted to say...
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219. I love your taste in music.
Beastie Boys deep cuts
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220. and The Regrettes.
Your playlists are on lock repeat.
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221. Thanks.
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222. Your memes are social currency.
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223. They are!
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224. - Principal Burr.
- Hi, Sam.
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225. You have a kind and compassionate heart.
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226. Oh, well, thank you.
That's all that cardio.
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227. Mona. Mona, hi, hello.
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228. I just wanted to tell you,
you have the best tits.
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229. Like, fearless cleavage.
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230. You're a femme future leader.
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231. If you're making fun of me, Sam Dean,
I swear I'll gas-pedal your box.
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232. See, this is why people love Sam...
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233. because she cares about everyone.
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234. Hey, why the face?
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235. It's not like I'm not having fun,
you know, saving the world and all,
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236. I just... I don't know,
I thought that we were gonna hang.
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237. Are you wearing Drakkar Noir?
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238. - Spritzed by an overzealous perfumer.
- Hair brushed, nice shirt, those pants.
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239. Please stop talking about the pants.
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240. You look like you're about
to hit up brunch at the Olive Garden.
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241. Who doesn't like brunch?
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242. You didn't think this was a hang.
You thought this was a hang hang.
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243. I just... I thought that we... we'd...
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244. You wanna know what I love about you,
Josh Wheeler?
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245. What the shit, Hoyles?
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246. Hey, Fap Rag.
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247. Scuffed my kicks. Lick 'em clean, loser.
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248. Wesley, call off your dog.
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249. No one controls Hoyles.
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250. You just got to microwave popcorn
and enjoy the show.
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251. - Turbo, come on.
- I'm posting this to WorldStar.
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252. Just because you were
held back three years
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253. doesn't mean you have to be
such a fucking prick, Hoyles.
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254. Get down and taste my leather,
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255. or I will destroy your face.
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256. Josh. Josh!
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257. Sam won the bet.
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258. Our video made everyone feel...
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259. you know, loved.
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260. Except you. You ran away from Hoyles.
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261. Sam must've been so attracted
to the smell of your pussy after that.
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262. Stay here.
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263. Do you even know
how hard it is to catch a Ghoulie?
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264. My dad taught me about hunting.
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265. You couldn't catch herpes
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266. if you stuck your dick in a jello ambrosia
made of hooker saliva and pineapples.
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267. Just because there are no parents,
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268. doesn't mean you have
to swear like a racist grandma.
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269. Please, I haven't changed.
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270. Well, I have.
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271. I'm not running away. I'm saving Sam.
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272. Sam!
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273. Sam?
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274. Shit.
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275. Angelica!
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276. Dummy.
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277. - Dummy?
- Hey, dummy.
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278. So, is that thing your girly-friend?
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279. Sam? It's me.
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280. - It's Josh.
- Josh.
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281. Josh Wheeler?
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282. Yeah! That's right.
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283. Josh Wheeler?
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284. Present.
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285. That's not Sam.
That's not fucking Sam at all.
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286. That's not Sam. Not Sam.
I'm not fucking Sam at all. Not at all.
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287. Ms. Crumble?
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288. You guys remember Ms. Crumble, right?
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289. - Jaden Unger.
- Yeah.
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290. Jaden Hoyles.
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291. New phone, who dis?
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292. Josh Wheeler?
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293. Hey!
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294. What's up your butt? This is amazing.
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295. It's just my biology teacher.
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296. You dim bulb, you're missing the point.
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297. She's a grown-up
who can say more than one sentence.
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298. - She survived!
- No.
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299. This is not survival.
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300. This is like having
your eyes Krazy Glued open
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301. and being forced to watch Teletubbies.
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302. Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids!
Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids!
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303. Hey! Settle down!
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304. Save me, Lord, from evildoers.
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305. May red-hot coals fall on their faces
and burn them.
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306. May they be thrown in a vat of acid
or other stuff that hurts.
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307. And by evildoers, Lord,
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308. I'm talking about Baron Triumph and anyone
who breaks in my mall to swipe my shit.
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309. Including Wesley Fists,
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310. who is my nemesis and deserves to have
his testicles munched on by fire ants.
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311. Your peaceful servant, Eli.
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312. I don't think that's from the Bible.
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313. It's new. The Book of Judgy.
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314. If Triumph figures out
how to get in here, we're toast.
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315. I mean, literally.
Look at me, I'm delicious.
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316. I don't know why
you harbor ill will toward me,
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317. but you should let Josh and Angelica
out to fight off Triumph.
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318. I have a zero tolerance
immigration policy.
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319. If you don't want to be detained
with the Ghoulie Witch, don't come.
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320. You let your girlfriend Mavis in.
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321. - Where is she at? Let me talk to her.
- You can't. Mavis is shy.
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322. You can't shake hands
with a clenched fist, Eli.
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323. Indira Gandhi said that.
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324. You smoke top-shelf dank.
You must have some hard munchies.
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325. Look there.
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326. Chocolate, corn syrup, and, mmm,
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327. that sweet-ass hydrogenated soybean oil.
Whoo!
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328. I mean,
I prefer hydrogenated palm kernel oil,
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329. but I'm starving.
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330. Where did you get an anvil?
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331. Target.
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332. Your survival tactics
are based on cartoons.
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333. You're not Bugs Bunny.
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334. And you're not a samurai.
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335. You're a true piece of shit, Wesley Fists.
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336. I worked for a year
at my aunt's threading salon.
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337. I plucked thousands
of thick, black leg hairs
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338. off ancient Armenian grandmas.
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339. It was all so I could buy
a pair of turtledove Yeezy knockoffs.
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340. And the day I unboxed my shoes,
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341. you and Hoyles chased me down
and stole my kicks.
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342. And when they didn't fit you,
you tossed them over a telephone wire.
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343. The child I was
is not the man I hope to become.
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344. How different can you really be?
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345. How pacifist are you, samurai?
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346. I'm sorry for what I did to you.
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347. Do you feel better?
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348. - Kinda.
- Me too.
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349. Were you looking for the real gate keys?
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350. This fucking boy.
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351. Tribes of Glendale,
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352. how will you honor
the great Turbo Bro Jock?
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353. The Disciples of Kardashia
offer you kegs of IPA Gold.
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354. This is not like the watered-down swill
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355. that we had to overpay
Lonny for at the Gas and Gulp
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356. when our fake IDs didn't work at Vons.
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357. No, tonight,
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358. you party with keg stands and beer pong.
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359. Next!
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360. I am Melkyar Darksbane,
formerly known as Beth,
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361. of the tribe Animal Style of clan 4-H.
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362. Thanks to your beneficence,
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363. we have bred a healthy
and thick stock of sheep.
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364. Next!
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365. Punks have nothing to offer.
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366. You dare come empty-handed?
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367. Well, uh, we built your empire:
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368. engineered those generators,
constructed those sweet-ass rides.
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369. Any tech we salvage, any food we find,
you bully us into handing it over.
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370. We have nothing.
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371. Face it,
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372. you're assholes.
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373. Turbo?
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374. Oh... Oh, the shit worked! Yes!
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375. We're in charge now.
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376. Geeks have inherited the Earth.
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377. Finally, people will bow down to science.
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378. Everybody, bow down to us!
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379. I said bow. I said bow!
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380. He's alive!
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381. He's alive!
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382. Turbo lives.
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383. You nerds don't have dibs on smarts.
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384. Finally found a use for the Golf Team.
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385. You broke the Emma González Accords.
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386. We're not playing with guns.
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387. For these crimes,
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388. the STEM Punks
will be giving us the gift of their lives.
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389. Tonight, we party like it's Friday.
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390. Shabbat shalom, bitches!
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391. Get him!
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392. Ms. Crumble was my teacher,
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393. one of the few that I even liked,
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394. and she was actually there
that day at the mall with Sam.
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395. Shh.
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396. Hey, Ms. Crumble.
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397. Have you seen
that Josh Wheeler kid around?
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398. - Who?
- Never mind.
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399. Hi!
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400. Hey.
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401. - How long have you been in here?
- Almost all day.
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402. Also hid in a bathroom
and under a mattress.
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403. Are you hungry? I, um...
Let's see. I have...
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404. crushed Goldfish and stale SkinnyPop.
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405. Oh, crushed Goldfish, please.
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406. If Hoyles is trying to kick your ass,
why don't you just leave?
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407. Those stupid jocks are everywhere,
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408. and Sam Dean has my phone.
I can't find her.
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409. You don't think that maybe you can get
them to stop, do you, Ms. Crumble?
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410. Oh, you know my name's not Crumble, right?
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411. Oh, my God. I cried in class once
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412. 'cause I couldn't get these stupid kids
to stop looking at their phones.
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413. I just lost my shit.
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414. From then on,
everyone started calling me Crumble.
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415. Everyone. Students, parents, teachers.
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416. Why don't you just correct them?
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417. Someone hacked into the school computer,
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418. so now all my class lists
come up as Ms. Crumble,
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419. and, oh, my parking pass
says "Ms. Crumble."
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420. And every time I try to change it,
it just goes right back.
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421. Well, what's your real name?
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422. Doesn't matter,
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423. 'cause my checks
were made out to Ms. Crumble,
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424. and the bank wouldn't cash them, so...
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425. I had to legally
change my name to Ms. Crumble.
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426. God, that's the worst
hero origin story ever, right?
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427. Okay, you know, the mall
doesn't close for another five hours,
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428. so you might be here a while,
and I'm gonna...
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429. I'm sorry that I can't help you.
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430. Look, I got to go.
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431. No! You can't leave now.
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432. This is a big fucking deal here.
She's not like other Ghoulies.
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433. She talks. Listen.
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434. Did you know that dragonflies
have shovel-shaped penises?
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435. See? She says words and has thoughts.
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436. She is still a kind of person.
Maybe there are other ones like her.
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437. Maybe our parents aren't gone gone.
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438. We have to stay here and study her.
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439. There is no "we," Angelica.
I get that you miss your mom, but this?
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440. She's not gonna bring your parents back.
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441. I need to go and find Sam.
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442. As soon as I figure out how to get past
Eli's locked and booby-trapped doors.
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443. I can get you out.
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444. I have a key.
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445. Where did I put it?
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446. Ladies? Have you seen my keys?
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447. I put them on a clapper. Okay.
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448. See? I knew they were here,
I just have to find them.
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449. I think the sound is coming from you.
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450. I remember now. I ate the keys.
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451. I needed the iron. Hold on.
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452. This is the best thing I have ever seen,
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453. and I once saw a robot kill a monkey
in a knife fight in Thailand.
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454. Hi, Nikki, there you are.
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455. Hey, did you see my keys down there?
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456. She says they're further down,
but I cannot reach them.
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457. I'll do it!
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458. Your arms are like little nubs!
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459. But your arms are...
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460. big and tender, Josh.
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461. Are you gonna eat my arm?
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462. I don't know.
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463. - Josh?
- Yeah, just a sec.
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464. Okay.
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465. Be the flow.
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466. Almost, almost!
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467. Got it!
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468. Ugh!
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469. I'll see you around.
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470. Josh?
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471. Come on. You're no hunter.
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472. You're running away,
just like you did from Hoyles.
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473. You could have a tribe here.
We could learn so much.
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474. Why do you think
you have to do this all alone?
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475. Bye-bye, Angelica...
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476. Oh! Fuck! Get off me now! Shit!
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477. Crapsicles!
I left my molotovs in my bag.
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478. - Get off me!
- Don't die!
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479. You see anything?
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480. I don't see shit.
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481. Please tell me that's one of your traps.
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482. That's not my booby.
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483. Where are we?
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484. What's that stench?
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485. This elevator leads to the dumpsters.
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486. No one in their right mind
would come in that way.
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487. Triumph isn't in his right mind.
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488. Yo, he's coming up up.
Shut the power down.
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489. No! Hell no! By the time I get there,
he'll already be inside.
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490. We have to hold the line here.
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491. You ain't Leonidas. This ain't Sparta!
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492. Triumph has fully modded heavy armor.
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493. Your arrows might as well be Nerf.
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494. Then draw your sword and help me fight.
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495. Check it. I'm a pacifist.
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496. My highness can't help Your Highness,
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497. but I know two people who can.
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498. There's a sale.
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499. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.
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500. This sucks!
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501. I always thought
that my death would be epic.
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502. You know, like one of those scenes
they put on '70s vans.
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503. Like me and Sam
versus a horde of Ghoulies.
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504. But my life isn't even
flashing before my eyes.
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505. All I see is one single moment.
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506. If only I called her,
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507. or taken a few more steps,
I'd have found Sam.
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508. But I hesitated.
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509. I was scared.
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510. Oh, shit!
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511. Oh, God.
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512. - Eli?
- You better be worth it.
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513. Come on.
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514. - I can't hold it!
- All right, let him in.
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515. Hoyles! Man!
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516. This does not need to end in violence.
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517. Wes!
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518. What the fuck was that?
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519. - I wanted to help you.
- How did you get out of the store?
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520. I can turn myself into a mist,
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521. and then I float
through the cracks. Watch!
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522. Move!
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523. RIP, Harry.
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524. - That was Jerry.
- Brother gave his life for a noble cause.
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525. So we can get wasted, eat, drink,
and be merry, for tomorrow...
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526. - We die?
- No.
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527. What? Die? No.
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528. Tomorrow's weight training, leg day.
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529. And we never, never skip leg day!
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530. Who wants it?
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531. Figure it out.
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532. - Here, bro.
- Here.
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533. Bro. Bro!
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534. You're missing the party.
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535. Why are you in here?
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536. What's on your mind, hoss?
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537. So I'm making this vlog, and I just
wanted to say... I love your taste in mu...
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538. So, can we trust her?
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539. She only attacked me
'cause I was bleeding.
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540. But everything she's eating
is high in iron,
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541. so she's trying to find
something to feed on other than blood.
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542. That shows intelligence.
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543. If eating pillow stuffing is intelligent,
I'm Stephen Hawking.
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544. She didn't eat Josh,
and she just saved our lives from Triumph.
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545. - Maybe she does have superpowers?
- Yeah.
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546. She stinks worse than my papy's...
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547. I don't know what that means,
and I don't wanna,
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548. but for reals, thanks for letting us stay.
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549. I love my girl Mavis and all,
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550. but maybe I was kinda lonely.
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551. I get why you kept everyone
out of this place. It is...
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552. - cherry.
- Yeah.
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553. And, Eli,
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554. I'm sorry for all the things
I did to you in the past.
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555. It's cool.
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556. And the present.
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557. You're a dick.
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558. We can't trust that you won't kill us
in our sleep, so you stay on your side,
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559. we stay on ours.
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560. You think I'm gonna
let you take half my shit?
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561. Nah, you'll do whatever I want.
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562. You belong to me, Wesley Fists.
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563. I know your secret.
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564. Everyone knows I'm gay. Wake up,
nobody cares about that shit anymore.
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565. Not that. The other secret.
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566. The reason you're a pacifist.
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567. I know what you did in the apocalypse.
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568. I know all, Samurai. I know all!
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569. You're no hunter. You're running away,
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570. just like you did from Hoyles.
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571. You could have a tribe here.
We could learn so much.
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572. Why do you think
you have to do this all alone?
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573. Alone. Alone.
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574. Angelica!
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575. Get the fuck out of here.
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576. Shit.
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577. You can stop hiding now.
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578. I know this is weird and all,
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579. but you and I, we need to talk.
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580. But does the world end if we do?
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581. This isn't a time travel paradox.
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582. You're from the future. I'm from the past.
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583. Kinda sounds like time travel.
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584. No, this is just a visual representation
of talking to yourself.
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585. I'm remembering this moment, how you,
or I, felt hiding in the bathroom.
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586. - God, I hate malls.
- And pants.
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587. Fucking pants.
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588. - So the world doesn't end if we talk?
- Oh, no, the world ends.
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589. It's just not our fault.
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590. Oh, shit. For real?
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591. - Sorry.
- Don't be.
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592. We're actually crushing the apocalypse.
We have everything we ever wanted:
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593. - freedom, cars, a sword.
- With the big jar of Nutella?
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594. The big jar of Nutella.
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595. Nice.
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596. So, how does it end?
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597. War, I think.
Korea, Russia, Taylor Swift.
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598. There was a meme with a cat.
Honestly, I wasn't paying attention.
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599. No, not the end of the world.
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600. The end of my story.
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601. Hoyles beats the shit out of you.
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602. That's a really shitty ending.
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603. I know.
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604. That's why I'm here.
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605. I'm here to remind you
that you have to embrace the pain.
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606. No matter what happens,
no matter how bad it gets,
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607. because...
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608. because Sam is worth it.
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609. This helped.
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610. Thanks.
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611. It wasn't for you.
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612. - Loser.
- Later, bitch.
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613. Oh, my God. Josh.
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614. - Hey.
- Hey.
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615. Here, put this on.
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616. You must think I'm such a coward.
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617. You wanna know what I love about you?
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618. Your trousers.
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619. - What the hell are you doing?
- I have to cut my hand off.
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620. I got bit. I can't turn into a Ghoulie.
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621. Oh, you poor, sad, stupid asshole.
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622. They're not zombies.
This isn't The Walking Dead.
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623. If you asked me,
you'd still have your finger, schmuck.
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624. So what's life like in the apocalypse...
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