1. It's another beautiful day.Copy !req
2. Eighty-two degrees of opportunity.Copy !req
3. The Japanese Club's, uh,
"Say Sayonara to Gluten" bake saleCopy !req
4. is going on to raise awarenessCopy !req
5. for the whitewashing of Asian roles...Copy !req
6. uh, in Hollywood.Copy !req
7. So let's all bite into some mochiCopy !req
8. and give the Japanese Club
a special arigato for our friends with...Copy !req
9. our friends with celiac disease.Copy !req
10. Homecoming tickets
go on sale this weekend.Copy !req
11. This year's theme: “Ring, Ring.
Who's Calling? Bling, Bling.”Copy !req
12. Remember, every day is a chance
to be great. As Jay-Z says,Copy !req
13. "Don't go with the flow. Be the flow."Copy !req
14. Thank you, Principal Burr,Copy !req
15. for those inspiring words.Copy !req
16. Uh, where were we? Jaden Thompson McGee.Copy !req
17. - Present.
- Jaden Unger.Copy !req
18. - Yeah.
- Jaden Hoyles.Copy !req
19. New phone, who dis?Copy !req
20. Josh Wheeler?Copy !req
21. Wheeler?Copy !req
22. Wheeler?Copy !req
23. Hey, that's me. Josh, not Jaden.Copy !req
24. There are, like, 20 Jadens
in this school.Copy !req
25. Parents think that they're being unique,
but it's an army of vanilla.Copy !req
26. Not like I'm anything special.
I'm a C student.Copy !req
27. C as in “crappy.”
C as in “cannot catch a break.”Copy !req
28. C as in “let's just see
how bad things are.”Copy !req
29. Climate change deniers are standing
waist-deep in hurricane water.Copy !req
30. Corporations make billions off
of nerd culture, making outsiders like...Copy !req
31. the new insiders,
leaving the truly odd with...Copy !req
32. no way to self-identify.Copy !req
33. And little dictators with big egos?Copy !req
34. Well, they can launch a nuke with a tweet!
And then one day... Whoa!Copy !req
35. They did.Copy !req
36. So whatever your problems were...Copy !req
37. Dad won't spring for a larger data plan?Copy !req
38. Mom won't buy that adorbs top
at Urban Outfitters?Copy !req
39. It's all baby food now.Copy !req
40. Now I'm an A. A as in “awesome,”Copy !req
41. A as in “the apocalypse
was the best thing that ever happened.”Copy !req
42. A as in “all you people
need to buckle up.”Copy !req
43. 'Cause I wanna show you
just how sweet the end of the world...Copy !req
44. actually is.Copy !req
45. So what's life like during the apocalypse?
In a word?Copy !req
46. Extra. Be the flow.Copy !req
47. My digs belonged
to some Armenian gangster, but he's gone,Copy !req
48. so I invoked the ancient rites
where finders are keepersCopy !req
49. and losers are weepers.Copy !req
50. It's one of the only rules left
because there are no adults.Copy !req
51. Everyone over the age of 18 is gone.Copy !req
52. Well... mostly.Copy !req
53. The bombs must've been biological.Copy !req
54. Most adults melted into goo,Copy !req
55. and the rest turned into
what we like to call "Ghoulies."Copy !req
56. She hasn't texted me back.Copy !req
57. I hear the new David Chang restaurantCopy !req
58. is supposed to be awesome-sauce.Copy !req
59. I should cancel my Facebook account.
It's too divisive.Copy !req
60. I know it seems like they're having
a conversation, but they're not.Copy !req
61. They only say the last stupid thing
that they were thinking.Copy !req
62. But that doesn't mean
that they're harmless.Copy !req
63. They will rip your head off
and chug your blood.Copy !req
64. I mean, look at this guy.Copy !req
65. It's like Prime Rib Night
at the Golden Corral down there.Copy !req
66. But mostly, life is like living
in Grand Theft Auto...Copy !req
67. except better.Copy !req
68. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
69. Oh, crap.Copy !req
70. A Yamashiro katana,
Honshū Province.Copy !req
71. Television taught me
every good sword has a name.Copy !req
72. I mean, Excalibur, Vorpal,
Longclaw, Sting... Needle!Copy !req
73. I shall name mine...Copy !req
74. Sam.Copy !req
75. Ever since the bombs fell,
animals have been mutating.Copy !req
76. That used to be a pug.Copy !req
77. So messed up, right?Copy !req
78. No. No!Copy !req
79. I really liked that place too.Copy !req
80. So when shopping for a new home,
you have to ask yourself,Copy !req
81. “Can I build a minefield, or a moat,
or a drawbridge to protect it?”Copy !req
82. No? Move on.Copy !req
83. Also, don't pick one with
an unexploded missile in the front yard.Copy !req
84. That's a deal-breaker.Copy !req
85. Psst.Copy !req
86. Shh.Copy !req
87. Baron Triumph.Copy !req
88. Help me! Anyone!Copy !req
89. Please, help me!Copy !req
90. Please, help!Copy !req
91. That turd lord catches kids
and purees them into hummus.Copy !req
92. The apocalypse
didn't eliminate the assholes.Copy !req
93. It made them worse.Copy !req
94. We have to rise above.Copy !req
95. Every day is a chance to be great.Copy !req
96. Be the flow.Copy !req
97. Ghoulies, depraved flesh eaters
on motorcycles,Copy !req
98. and mutated animals
aren't the only threats.Copy !req
99. The bombs dropped six months ago,
and all of the kids who survivedCopy !req
100. have more or less
maintained their circle of friends.Copy !req
101. Among the tribes
are the Disciples of Kardashia,Copy !req
102. the 4-H Club, the Jocks, the STEM Punks,Copy !req
103. and countless other small tribes
occupying their own territory.Copy !req
104. The borders shift,
so it's best to stay in your own lane.Copy !req
105. Now, that's promising.Copy !req
106. East-facing windows, nice location.Copy !req
107. And Jesus makes a great security system.Copy !req
108. Damn.Copy !req
109. Some kids already called dibs.Copy !req
110. Rule three: keep to yourself.
I've avoided everyone since the boom.Copy !req
111. Some kids... are worse than Ghoulies.Copy !req
112. Things just got different.Copy !req
113. Josh!Copy !req
114. - Sam.
- Josh!Copy !req
115. Josh!Copy !req
116. Josh!Copy !req
117. Lookie here!Copy !req
118. A party crasher.Copy !req
119. Hey, bros, what does the Golf Team doCopy !req
120. to those who crash our party?Copy !req
121. Whoa!Copy !req
122. Easy.Copy !req
123. I heard a scream
and thought there might be some trouble.Copy !req
124. - What're you doing back there?
- We're doing none of your business.Copy !req
125. Buzz off, fly, unless you want to die.Copy !req
126. Rhyming? Really, Jerry? Really?Copy !req
127. Just kinda roll with it, Terry.Copy !req
128. You sound like a knob
with a dictionary, Jerry.Copy !req
129. We're on the same team, Gary.Copy !req
130. - Yo, Gary's just triggered, Barry.
- Enough! I make the threats.Copy !req
131. I'm team captain.
It says so on my shirt.Copy !req
132. And I say one of you doesn't belong here.Copy !req
133. Gary, Barry, Jerry, Larry
and... what's your name?Copy !req
134. - Josh.
- Tennis Josh?Copy !req
135. - No.
- Little Josh with the big truck?Copy !req
136. - No.
- Gay Josh or Other Gay Josh?Copy !req
137. Just Josh, okay?
You guys don't know me.Copy !req
138. Well, now you're Wasting-Our-Time-
And-Got-Himself-Dead Josh!Copy !req
139. Whoa, damn!Copy !req
140. Soon-To-Be-Dead Josh
has got himself some brass.Copy !req
141. Most scabs possum, but you...Copy !req
142. Oh, you are interesting, bro.Copy !req
143. I've got a killer origin story.Copy !req
144. It's got revenge, and drama,
and fights, and love.Copy !req
145. True love.Copy !req
146. We've been sans Snap for months.Copy !req
147. Entertain us...Copy !req
148. and you just might live.Copy !req
149. Okay, my story?Copy !req
150. I moved here before the start of school.Copy !req
151. - You wanted to see me, Principal Burr?
- Oh, Josh.Copy !req
152. Josh, come on in.Copy !req
153. Have a seat.Copy !req
154. Hmm.Copy !req
155. How's the move from Toronto?Copy !req
156. Uh, yeah, good.Copy !req
157. Hmm. You fitting in okay?Copy !req
158. Yeah. Good.Copy !req
159. Like your classes?Copy !req
160. Yeah. Good.Copy !req
161. Are you a fan of the walnut, Josh?Copy !req
162. California is one of the biggest growers
of nuts in the world.Copy !req
163. We're not all celebrities and sunshine.Copy !req
164. I know it's more on-trend
to like almonds right now.Copy !req
165. Can't go into a Starbucks without somebody
asking for a splash of almond milk.Copy !req
166. And cashews?Copy !req
167. The cashew
is a cross-cultural masterpiece.Copy !req
168. But for me, it's the walnut,Copy !req
169. the healthiest food in the world.Copy !req
170. Filled with Vitamin E, phytonutrients...Copy !req
171. Brain food, they call it.
And that's all well and good, but...Copy !req
172. you know why I like it?Copy !req
173. Uh, why?Copy !req
174. Because the toughest shell can be cracked.Copy !req
175. - Are those for me?
- These? Oh, no.Copy !req
176. No, no.Copy !req
177. No, these are plastic.Copy !req
178. No, this is a nut-free campus.
I'm sorry I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
179. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian,Copy !req
180. Erika Kim...Copy !req
181. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
182. Hospital trip, the whole thing.Copy !req
183. Is that an allegory?Copy !req
184. It's a metaphor.Copy !req
185. A metaphor more.
Moving isn't easy.Copy !req
186. Not knowing anybody.Copy !req
187. Well, now you know me.Copy !req
188. Are you trying to bore us to death?Copy !req
189. Yo, your story is tired, bro.Copy !req
190. - Five percent Rotten Tomato, if that.
- I don't get it.Copy !req
191. How did a noob like you survive out here
for six months all on his lonesome?Copy !req
192. I can fish, hunt, rig solar panels,
and purify water from my own urine,Copy !req
193. which is even grosser than it sounds.Copy !req
194. - What are you, MacGyver?
- No.Copy !req
195. I'm Canadian.Copy !req
196. You're a value added.Copy !req
197. We could use someone like you.Copy !req
198. I don't know how to do golf.Copy !req
199. I was thinking more of like, hmm...Copy !req
200. I don't know, a slave.Copy !req
201. Ugh, I object to that terminology.Copy !req
202. Indentured American?Copy !req
203. Better.Copy !req
204. Josh has some serious skills,
unlike you foot lickers.Copy !req
205. You're coming with us, Just Josh.Copy !req
206. Now, we can do this the hard wayCopy !req
207. or the harder way.Copy !req
208. What's the hard way?Copy !req
209. We put an electric dog collar on
and shock you into being our...Copy !req
210. indentured American.Copy !req
211. And the harder way?Copy !req
212. - We put the collar on your junk.
- That's my favorite.Copy !req
213. Thanks.Copy !req
214. But no thanks.Copy !req
215. You see, I have a sacred mission
to accomplish.Copy !req
216. This is a nut-free campus.
Sorry that I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
217. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian,Copy !req
218. Erika Kim...Copy !req
219. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
220. - Come in.
- You wanted to see me, Mr. Burr?Copy !req
221. Sam Dean, meet Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
222. Josh, this is Sam.Copy !req
223. She's gonna show you around
and answer any questions you have.Copy !req
224. That's right. I named my sword after her.Copy !req
225. You would too.Copy !req
226. - Hey, Sam!
- Hey.Copy !req
227. - Hi, guys.
- Hola, Señorita Sam.Copy !req
228. Hola, Ms. Rodriguez.Copy !req
229. How do you have so many friendlies?Copy !req
230. - Who are you?
- I'm Sam Dean.Copy !req
231. Two syllables, two boys' names.
Sam, Dean.Copy !req
232. Like, Sam as in Samantha?Copy !req
233. Sam as in Samaira.Copy !req
234. Is that... is that like an England thing?Copy !req
235. Uh, no. My mum is an engineer,
and she worked in Jaipur,Copy !req
236. so I am the definition
of cultural appropriation.Copy !req
237. Samaira.Copy !req
238. It means "enchanting,"
which is pretty cringe.Copy !req
239. Samaira is a kind of girlCopy !req
240. who Instagrams an inspirational quote
over a peace sign selfie.Copy !req
241. Sam doesn't have any kind
of social media platform.Copy !req
242. Sam still likes riding her old BMX bike.Copy !req
243. Sam's thinking of getting a tattoo
but is too indecisive to choose.Copy !req
244. Wait, hang on.Copy !req
245. No one is friends with everyone
unless they're, like, a cheerleader.Copy !req
246. - Are you a cheerleader?
- Uh, no. But only because irony is dead.Copy !req
247. So what are you?Copy !req
248. I'm...Copy !req
249. interested.Copy !req
250. Look.Copy !req
251. Competitive fidget spinners,
creepypasta eaters,Copy !req
252. the meow-sters, E-sportos.Copy !req
253. Shannon Vinnecour
recreated Gondor in Minecraft.Copy !req
254. And Todd Altman self-identifies his gender
as a seahorse.Copy !req
255. The horse of the sea.Copy !req
256. I don't think
that we have those in Canada.Copy !req
257. Probably not.Copy !req
258. I get it.Copy !req
259. - You're nice.
- Nice?Copy !req
260. Nice is what you say when you
have nothing else to say about someone.Copy !req
261. It's lame. I'm not nice.Copy !req
262. Everyone seems to like you.Copy !req
263. I'm a human Sorting Hat.Copy !req
264. Principal Burr just uses me to help
figure out where the new students click.Copy !req
265. So where do I belong?Copy !req
266. Who are your people?Copy !req
267. I lived in a small town with small people.Copy !req
268. It's still jocks, and nerds,
and cheerleaders, and...Copy !req
269. me.Copy !req
270. You're challenging, Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
271. And I do like a challenge.Copy !req
272. - Hey!
- Shut up.Copy !req
273. Sam Dean is way above your orbit.Copy !req
274. - She's like stratosphere!
- She does have great tits, though.Copy !req
275. Hey! This is love,
and love is more important than boobs.Copy !req
276. Nothing is more important than boobs.Copy !req
277. I am in love with Sam Dean,Copy !req
278. and I promised to keep her safe
from thunder buckets of crap like you.Copy !req
279. Now, let the girl go,Copy !req
280. and we'll leave you to whatever
circle jerk you have planned for tonight.Copy !req
281. That's tomorrow night.
Tomorrow is Tuesday, right?Copy !req
282. - Shut the fuck up, Barry.
- Gender norms don't exist anymore.Copy !req
283. Hey!Copy !req
284. Give me the girl.Copy !req
285. - We're leaving.
- Sorry.Copy !req
286. Can't.Copy !req
287. We're on a mission to round up stragglers.
And that means you too.Copy !req
288. Gary... collar this dog.Copy !req
289. Take another fucking step,
and you're dead.Copy !req
290. Well, fuck you, loser!Copy !req
291. Oh, my God!Copy !req
292. Is this what you were trying to do?Copy !req
293. I was trying to cut it clean off.
It was gonna be rad!Copy !req
294. Get it out, fuck-knuckle.Copy !req
295. Can't. It's stuck in the bone!Copy !req
296. Bone.Copy !req
297. Shut your face, Gary. Kill this guy.Copy !req
298. Kill him a lot!Copy !req
299. Hold on, Terry!Copy !req
300. Get out of there, Sam!Copy !req
301. Go! Sam!Copy !req
302. Any of you shit-dips move,Copy !req
303. and we have Burning Man Festival early.Copy !req
304. Angelica?Copy !req
305. Fuck!Copy !req
306. Six months.Copy !req
307. Six months looking for Sam,
and just when I think I finally find her,Copy !req
308. it's Angelica?Copy !req
309. Angelica might be ten,
but she's a total fuck...Copy !req
310. I wanna say a word that I can't useCopy !req
311. because I don't want to use bad words
to describe young women.Copy !req
312. I'm part of the solution.Copy !req
313. Look, hey, Terry.
Let's just forget about this, man.Copy !req
314. You guys keep her.Copy !req
315. You can't just leave me here,
you sphincter stain.Copy !req
316. - What about all that hero shit?
- That was before I knew it was you.Copy !req
317. - What's wrong with me?
- Angelica,Copy !req
318. I babysat you, like, three times,Copy !req
319. and every time, you either tried
to light me or my stuff on fire.Copy !req
320. Sorry to interrupt,Copy !req
321. but your sword
is still stuck in my fucking hand!Copy !req
322. Listen! I'm leaving.Copy !req
323. And if you wanna live,
you're not gonna follow.Copy !req
324. Yeah, and why is that?Copy !req
325. Because I just used my blade
to make a PB&J.Copy !req
326. Raspberry jam,Copy !req
327. extra crunchy peanut butter.Copy !req
328. And if you don't get an EpiPen,Copy !req
329. you'll go into anaphylactic shock,
right, Terry?Copy !req
330. How did you know I have an allergy?Copy !req
331. You may not know me...Copy !req
332. but I know you, Terrence Markazian.Copy !req
333. This is a nut-free campus.
Sorry that I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
334. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian...Copy !req
335. Terrence Markazian...Copy !req
336. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
337. You just made the wrong enemy.Copy !req
338. Your life is over, bro!Copy !req
339. Toss yourself to the Ghoulies,
they'll be kinder!Copy !req
340. You'll never survive on your own!Copy !req
341. I won't be alone once I find Sam.Copy !req
342. You'd really leave me back there,
all by myself, defenseless?Copy !req
343. Oh, please.
Even the Ghoulies are scared of you.Copy !req
344. Hmm. Fucking mutants should be.
They melt better than Barbie dolls.Copy !req
345. Bye-bye, Angelica.Copy !req
346. You didn't lace your sword with peanuts.
You hate PB&J.Copy !req
347. They don't know that.Copy !req
348. Psychos get psychosomatic symptoms.Copy !req
349. That's smart.Copy !req
350. You're not smart.Copy !req
351. The world is backwards, Angelica.
I just fit in way better now.Copy !req
352. The child who boasts like a man
may count his pubes on one hand.Copy !req
353. This is why I avoid people.Copy !req
354. Because street samurai are a thing now.Copy !req
355. Nice sword.Copy !req
356. I see you listened to the wisdom
I dropped, Joshua Wheeler.Copy !req
357. Wesley Fists? This guy was a dick.Copy !req
358. I've been trying to tell you.Copy !req
359. Please let me put you on game.Copy !req
360. You need a blade, Jaden.Copy !req
361. That was rule number one
in the 15th century.Copy !req
362. Why not the 21st?Copy !req
363. - Nice.
- Nice?Copy !req
364. This is an exact replica of the blade
the legendary Toshirō MifuneCopy !req
365. wielded in Throne of Blood.Copy !req
366. So why do you have it?Copy !req
367. We can't all be three-time
world gymnastics champion, Kurt Thomas,Copy !req
368. who employed the precision of gymnastics
and the deadly force of karateCopy !req
369. in the 1985 classic Gymkata.Copy !req
370. No one gets your movie references, dude.Copy !req
371. Josh understands what I'm talking about.
Hey, yo, Vanilla Ice,Copy !req
372. tell Hoyles here
swords are the perfect weapon.Copy !req
373. Oh, I mean, I don't know.
I'd probably take a gun over a sword.Copy !req
374. A gun? Guns don't have names.Copy !req
375. Swords have all the best names.Copy !req
376. Please, tell me what gun
is better than a sword?Copy !req
377. Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
378. Sniper rifle?Copy !req
379. A sniper rifle!
How many rounds you think you got?Copy !req
380. Awesome. Let's say a 30-round mag?Copy !req
381. How long do you think
that's gonna last you?Copy !req
382. Not long.Copy !req
383. All I got to do is wait
for your bullets to be gone,Copy !req
384. and then answer...
with honed steel.Copy !req
385. Patience is knowing the mulberry leaf
will soon become a silk robe.Copy !req
386. Principal Burr, back me up!Copy !req
387. You would take a sword over a gun?Copy !req
388. Oh, I don't know, Wes.
I usually play Sombra in Overwatch.Copy !req
389. You play as a girl?Copy !req
390. Sombra has thermoptic camo. I like that.Copy !req
391. You can't hit what you can't see.Copy !req
392. And let's not talk about guns,Copy !req
393. because if you do, technically,
I have to write a police report,Copy !req
394. and technically,
they have to file that with the FBI,Copy !req
395. and technically,
you'll be on a watch list.Copy !req
396. But I support all of our amendments,
especiallyCopy !req
397. your right to not be late
for third period. Gentlemen.Copy !req
398. What the fuck?Copy !req
399. I'm sorry.Copy !req
400. Oh, too slow! Stay goosey!Copy !req
401. What do you want, Wesley?Copy !req
402. If you're running with the Golf Club,
you're missing a polo shirt.Copy !req
403. I'm a pacifist now...Copy !req
404. atoning for crimes I committed
in my previous life,Copy !req
405. on a path to enlightenment.Copy !req
406. Don't start samurai crap with me.
Your dad was my dentist.Copy !req
407. Proper flossing has no impact
on my dedication to the Bushido Code.Copy !req
408. I've sworn an oath to help guide
lost spirits through the wasteland.Copy !req
409. I'm not lost.Copy !req
410. - I just wanna find...
- Sam Dean?Copy !req
411. I know.Copy !req
412. I saw your tags.Copy !req
413. "I am here." I did a little...Copy !req
414. Sherlock-and-popping,
figured you were fishing for her.Copy !req
415. - Do you know where she is?
- Well, I heard from Claire Richter,Copy !req
416. who runs with the Cheermazons, that
Scooter Kauffman heard the STEM Punk tribeCopy !req
417. saw Sam hanging in the mall.Copy !req
418. The mall is Baron Triumph territory.Copy !req
419. I came to tell you
that the soul stealer stole your lady.Copy !req
420. Um, douchers? It's go time.Copy !req
421. Hey!Copy !req
422. I'm signaling Turbo for reinforcements.Copy !req
423. - Trouble at the Golf Club, Mona.
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
424. Golfers don't rate as athletes.
They've got tiny balls.Copy !req
425. Besides, American Ninja Idol is on.Copy !req
426. Oh, shi...Copy !req
427. That's good.Copy !req
428. I did it! I won!Copy !req
429. No.Copy !req
430. Feel like hunting some new recruits?Copy !req
431. Come out, come out, wherever you are.Copy !req
432. - Where are you, Josh?
- Can't hide forever.Copy !req
433. - Here, Joshie, Joshie!
- We're gonna find you.Copy !req
434. Really?
You think this is a good time to get high?Copy !req
435. Bubonic Chronic
helps me focus in times of stress.Copy !req
436. Can I have a hit?Copy !req
437. We are not lighting
the Golf Team on fire.Copy !req
438. Come on.Copy !req
439. Yo!Copy !req
440. This place has everything!Copy !req
441. Food, water...Copy !req
442. a tub of Aquaphor.Copy !req
443. O negative blood for transfusions!Copy !req
444. Quilted toilet paper.Copy !req
445. Party supplies, Tide Pods...
What are you washing?Copy !req
446. Damn near all the Settlers of Catan.Copy !req
447. I thought you would've been taken out
in the first round, Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
448. But check you out!Copy !req
449. - I am impressed.
- This is just my old apartment.Copy !req
450. I just use it for storage.Copy !req
451. Yeah, storage.Copy !req
452. Flowers? Andes Mints?Copy !req
453. - You expecting some company?
- I thought that Sam might come here.Copy !req
454. I've been looking for her for months.Copy !req
455. I think what we had was special.Copy !req
456. You know, it was weird. It was like...Copy !req
457. a hit teen rom-com,
but spread out over a bunch of episodesCopy !req
458. that you could just binge in one sitting.Copy !req
459. Let's cut to the montage?Copy !req
460. Give me a sec to tidy up.Copy !req
461. Whoa, I can handle a little mess.Copy !req
462. What's so embarrassing?Copy !req
463. Oh, just grabbing my Pokémon cards.
You know, Pikachu, Charmander.Copy !req
464. I even have a Mewtwo, which is...
You know, got to catch 'em all.Copy !req
465. Just don't want you to think
that I'm some kind of... weirdo.Copy !req
466. "Call Grandma, no texts.
The future scares her."Copy !req
467. What's this?Copy !req
468. That's, uh...Copy !req
469. That's my mom.Copy !req
470. After the divorce,Copy !req
471. my mom got custody, and we moved here.Copy !req
472. But she leaves the house
at the crack of dawnCopy !req
473. and doesn't get home
until after dinner, so...Copy !req
474. I have a Post-it parent.Copy !req
475. Sam, meet my mom.Copy !req
476. Mom... this is Sam.Copy !req
477. And your Pokémon cards?Copy !req
478. Uh, I actually have a huge collection,
but they're back in Toronto with my dad.Copy !req
479. Wow.Copy !req
480. I am a weirdo.Copy !req
481. But not a total weirdo.Copy !req
482. Sorry, I just...Copy !req
483. I don't want a pity peck
for our first kiss. You know?Copy !req
484. Josh...Copy !req
485. You could be broody and bleak,
but you're not.Copy !req
486. Your superpower is your honesty.Copy !req
487. Radical honesty.Copy !req
488. You're not trying to be anyone else
but yourself.Copy !req
489. Thanks for telling me where Sam is.Copy !req
490. You guys can just take
whatever you want and go.Copy !req
491. And what if Sam's not at the mall?Copy !req
492. - What if she's dead?
- She's not.Copy !req
493. Look, my mom used to leave me
Post-it notes, but this one...Copy !req
494. this one is Sam's writing.Copy !req
495. She left it here for me.Copy !req
496. If Sam is out there, I'm not giving up.Copy !req
497. Everyone can hear that... right?Copy !req
498. Shit.Copy !req
499. It's Turbo Bro Jock.Copy !req
500. Turbo Bro?Copy !req
501. You mean, Turbo Pokaski?Copy !req
502. I can't believe some parent
named their kid Turbo.Copy !req
503. They might as well
have named him Adolf or Bully.Copy !req
504. Turbo gathered all the jocks
into one tribe.Copy !req
505. Football, baseball, golf, et cetera.Copy !req
506. - He's the bad guy.
- How'd they find us?Copy !req
507. We found it here!Copy !req
508. Bubonic Chronic.Copy !req
509. Bubonic Chronic?Copy !req
510. Wesley?Copy !req
511. Little pig, little pig.Copy !req
512. Let us in! Or we'll huff, and we'll puff,Copy !req
513. and we'll kick the shit out of you.Copy !req
514. We have to get out of here, Josh.Copy !req
515. You and I are not a thing, Angelica.Copy !req
516. If I kaboom those Jocks to ash,
can I stay on your team?Copy !req
517. I don't have a team.Copy !req
518. I'm a genius with very flexible morality.
You need me!Copy !req
519. I agree with the petulant dwarf.
You require our assistance.Copy !req
520. Uh-uh. Both of you, unsubscribe.
You two made my life hell in high school.Copy !req
521. I've done a great many things
that've besmirched my soul.Copy !req
522. A rōnin seeks forgiveness through action.Copy !req
523. Having other people around
is just trouble, okay?Copy !req
524. I'm going to find Sam. That's it.Copy !req
525. It's not on me to forgive you
for being a jerk in high school, Wesley.Copy !req
526. And I'm not babysitting you
anymore, Angelica.Copy !req
527. - Look, I'm sorry I was such a shit.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
528. No, I'm not. But we have no idea
what's going on here.Copy !req
529. We don't know why the adults
turned into Ghoulies or why kids didn't.Copy !req
530. But those are just kids out there.Copy !req
531. Fascist bullies who saw Mad Max
too many times and dressed like assholes,Copy !req
532. but still kids.Copy !req
533. The only way we're gonna find answers
and survive is if we stay together.Copy !req
534. These douchebags wanna party?Copy !req
535. Let's throw 'em a real rager.Copy !req
536. Throw the rocks!Copy !req
537. Pussies!Copy !req
538. They're not coming out, Turbo.Copy !req
539. We got to turn up, Turbo.Copy !req
540. We're savage AF, Turbo.Copy !req
541. No one ducks our tribe, Turbo.Copy !req
542. Let's bust through this goal line, Turbo.Copy !req
543. Yeah, Turbo!Copy !req
544. I'm dirty! Josh!Copy !req
545. Make it rain!Copy !req
546. Is that all you got, losers?
You're gonna have to do better than that!Copy !req
547. Ghoulies!Copy !req
548. Holy shit!Copy !req
549. We got to go.Copy !req
550. What did they do?Copy !req
551. Get the fu...Copy !req
552. - Come on.
- Come on.Copy !req
553. There's an alley off Lexington Ave.
Goes straight to the mall.Copy !req
554. You guys take that,
I'll take Glendale to Colorado.Copy !req
555. We need to stay together.Copy !req
556. We stay together, they'll catch us.
Those Jocks have a hard-on for me.Copy !req
557. I'll lose them and meet you
by the rear entrance of Dick's.Copy !req
558. Rear.Copy !req
559. Fine. Get your balls in gear, boys.Copy !req
560. Uh...Copy !req
561. Tracks!Copy !req
562. You can run, but you can't hide, sucker!Copy !req
563. God, I can't believe I'm gonna get caught.Copy !req
564. And the worst part...Copy !req
565. I'd probably still be with Sam
if I just went to that dumb football game.Copy !req
566. Hike!Copy !req
567. Oh, shit.Copy !req
568. Ah...Copy !req
569. - Sam!
- Josh!Copy !req
570. - Sam, where are you?
- I can't see. I'm bleeding!Copy !req
571. Josh! Josh, follow emergency
lockdown procedures! Find your buddy!Copy !req
572. - I'm gonna find you!
- Josh, I'm scared!Copy !req
573. - I... Josh...
- Sam?Copy !req
574. Sam!Copy !req
575. Sam!Copy !req
576. Sam!Copy !req
577. Sam!Copy !req
578. You know what?Copy !req
579. I promised Sam,
and I'm not stopping until I find her.Copy !req
580. Get him!Copy !req
581. Nobody messes with the Golf Team!Copy !req
582. Damn, these some chain chains.Copy !req
583. Dead end.Copy !req
584. There's a sale.Copy !req
585. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
586. There's a sale.Copy !req
587. Spark me, Samurai.Copy !req
588. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
589. Stupid Russian-made flamethrower!Copy !req
590. - I can't open it!
- I'm almost empty.Copy !req
591. - You got to kill her!
- There's a sale!Copy !req
592. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
593. I'm a pacifist!Copy !req
594. Plus, this poor white girl
just wants some yoga pants.Copy !req
595. As an empiricist,
I find the need to redeem your soulCopy !req
596. to be hopelessly naive and fucking stupid.Copy !req
597. Oh, shit! My sword!Copy !req
598. - You suck at hero-ing.
- I saved your stupid lives, twice.Copy !req
599. Now, hurry. Turbo's on my ass.Copy !req
600. Um... No, he's not.Copy !req
601. Why aren't they chasing you?Copy !req
602. Baron Triumph.Copy !req
603. Oh, shit.Copy !req
604. Anyone know who the hell
this twat herder really is?Copy !req
605. I heard he's Marco Lions,
that gearhead that lived in Hollywood.Copy !req
606. Didn't your old bestie Jaden Hoyles
ride a motorcycle like that?Copy !req
607. Well, Hoyles is a real prick.Copy !req
608. Whoever he is, here he comes.Copy !req
609. What the...Copy !req
610. So what's like life in the apocalypse?Copy !req
611. It's never what you'd expect.Copy !req