1. It's another beautiful day.Copy !req
2. Eighty-two degrees of opportunity.Copy !req
3. The Japanese Club's, uh,
"Say Sayonara to Gluten" bake saleCopy !req
4. is going on to raise awarenessCopy !req
5. for the whitewashing of Asian roles...Copy !req
6. uh, in Hollywood.Copy !req
7. So let's all bite into some mochiCopy !req
8. and give the Japanese Club
a special arigato for our friends with...Copy !req
9. our friends with celiac disease.Copy !req
10. Homecoming tickets
go on sale this weekend.Copy !req
11. This year's theme: “Ring, Ring.
Who's Calling? Bling, Bling.”Copy !req
12. Remember, every day is a chance
to be great. As Jay-Z says,Copy !req
13. "Don't go with the flow. Be the flow."Copy !req
14. Thank you, Principal Burr,Copy !req
15. for those inspiring words.Copy !req
16. Uh, where were we? Jaden Thompson McGee.Copy !req
17. - Present.
- Jaden Unger.Copy !req
18. - Yeah.
- Jaden Hoyles.Copy !req
19. New phone, who dis?Copy !req
20. Josh Wheeler?Copy !req
21. Wheeler?Copy !req
22. Wheeler?Copy !req
23. Hey, that's me. Josh, not Jaden.Copy !req
24. There are, like, 20 Jadens
in this school.Copy !req
25. Parents think that they're being unique,
but it's an army of vanilla.Copy !req
26. Not like I'm anything special.
I'm a C student.Copy !req
27. C as in “crappy.”
C as in “cannot catch a break.”Copy !req
28. C as in “let's just see
how bad things are.”Copy !req
29. Climate change deniers are standing
waist-deep in hurricane water.Copy !req
30. Corporations make billions off
of nerd culture, making outsiders like...Copy !req
31. the new insiders,
leaving the truly odd with...Copy !req
32. no way to self-identify.Copy !req
33. And little dictators with big egos?Copy !req
34. Well, they can launch a nuke with a tweet!
And then one day— Whoa!Copy !req
35. —they did.Copy !req
36. So whatever your problems were...Copy !req
37. Dad won't spring for a larger data plan?Copy !req
38. Mom won't buy that adorbs top
at Urban Outfitters?Copy !req
39. It's all baby food now.Copy !req
40. Now I'm an A.
A as in “awesome,”Copy !req
41. A as in “the apocalypse
was the best thing that ever happened.”Copy !req
42. A as in “all you people
need to buckle up.”Copy !req
43. 'Cause I wanna show you
just how sweet the end of the world...Copy !req
44. actually is.Copy !req
45. So what's life like during the apocalypse?
In a word?Copy !req
46. Extra. Be the flow.Copy !req
47. My digs belonged
to some Armenian gangster, but he's gone,Copy !req
48. so I invoked the ancient rites
where finders are keepersCopy !req
49. and losers are weepers.Copy !req
50. It's one of the only rules left
because there are no adults.Copy !req
51. Everyone over the age of 18 is gone.Copy !req
52. Well... mostly.Copy !req
53. The bombs must've been biological.Copy !req
54. Most adults melted into goo,Copy !req
55. and the rest turned into
what we like to call "Ghoulies."Copy !req
56. She hasn't texted me back.Copy !req
57. I hear the new David Chang restaurantCopy !req
58. is supposed to be awesome-sauce.Copy !req
59. I should cancel my Facebook account.
It's too divisive.Copy !req
60. I know it seems like they're having
a conversation, but they're not.Copy !req
61. They only say the last stupid thing
that they were thinking.Copy !req
62. But that doesn't mean
that they're harmless.Copy !req
63. They will rip your head off
and chug your blood.Copy !req
64. I mean, look at this guy.Copy !req
65. It's like Prime Rib Night
at the Golden Corral down there.Copy !req
66. But mostly, life is like living
in Grand Theft Auto...Copy !req
67. except better.Copy !req
68. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
69. Oh, crap.Copy !req
70. A Yamashiro katana,Copy !req
71. Honshū Province.Copy !req
72. Television taught me
every good sword has a name.Copy !req
73. I mean, Excalibur, Vorpal,
Longclaw, Sting... Needle!Copy !req
74. I shall name mine...Copy !req
75. Sam.Copy !req
76. Ever since the bombs fell,
animals have been mutating.Copy !req
77. That used to be a pug.Copy !req
78. So messed up, right?Copy !req
79. No. No!Copy !req
80. I really liked that place too.Copy !req
81. So when shopping for a new home,
you have to ask yourself,Copy !req
82. “Can I build a minefield, or a moat,
or a drawbridge to protect it?”Copy !req
83. No? Move on.Copy !req
84. Also, don't pick one with
an unexploded missile in the front yard.Copy !req
85. That's a deal-breaker.Copy !req
86. Psst.Copy !req
87. Shh.Copy !req
88. Baron Triumph.Copy !req
89. Help me! Anyone!Copy !req
90. Please, help me!Copy !req
91. Please, help!Copy !req
92. That turd lord catches kids
and purees them into hummus.Copy !req
93. The apocalypse
didn't eliminate the assholes.Copy !req
94. It made them worse.Copy !req
95. We have to rise above.Copy !req
96. Every day is a chance to be great.Copy !req
97. Be the flow.Copy !req
98. Ghoulies, depraved flesh eaters
on motorcycles,Copy !req
99. and mutated animals
aren't the only threats.Copy !req
100. The bombs dropped six months ago,
and all of the kids who survivedCopy !req
101. have more or less
maintained their circle of friends.Copy !req
102. Among the tribes
are the Disciples of Kardashia,Copy !req
103. the 4-H Club, the Jocks, the STEM Punks,Copy !req
104. and countless other small tribes
occupying their own territory.Copy !req
105. The borders shift,
so it's best to stay in your own lane.Copy !req
106. Now, that's promising.Copy !req
107. East-facing windows, nice location.Copy !req
108. And Jesus makes a great security system.Copy !req
109. Damn.Copy !req
110. Some kids already called dibs.Copy !req
111. Rule three: keep to yourself.
I've avoided everyone since the boom.Copy !req
112. Some kids... are worse than Ghoulies.Copy !req
113. Things just got different.Copy !req
114. Josh!Copy !req
115. - Sam.
- Josh!Copy !req
116. Josh!Copy !req
117. Josh!Copy !req
118. Lookie here!Copy !req
119. A party crasher.Copy !req
120. Hey, bros, what does the Golf Team doCopy !req
121. to those who crash our party?Copy !req
122. Whoa!Copy !req
123. Easy.Copy !req
124. I heard a scream
and thought there might be some trouble.Copy !req
125. - What're you doing back there?
- We're doing none of your business.Copy !req
126. Buzz off, fly, unless you want to die.Copy !req
127. Rhyming? Really, Jerry? Really?Copy !req
128. Just kinda roll with it, Terry.Copy !req
129. You sound like a knob
with a dictionary, Jerry.Copy !req
130. We're on the same team, Gary.Copy !req
131. - Yo, Gary's just triggered, Barry.
- Enough! I make the threats.Copy !req
132. I'm team captain.
It says so on my shirt.Copy !req
133. And I say one of you doesn't belong here.Copy !req
134. Gary, Barry, Jerry, Larry
and... what's your name?Copy !req
135. - Josh.
- Tennis Josh?Copy !req
136. - No.
- Little Josh with the big truck?Copy !req
137. - No.
- Gay Josh or Other Gay Josh?Copy !req
138. Just Josh, okay?
You guys don't know me.Copy !req
139. Well, now you're Wasting-Our-Time-
And-Got-Himself-Dead Josh!Copy !req
140. - Whoa, damn!Copy !req
141. Soon-To-Be-Dead Josh
has got himself some brass.Copy !req
142. Most scabs possum, but you...Copy !req
143. Oh, you are interesting, bro.Copy !req
144. I've got a killer origin story.Copy !req
145. It's got revenge, and drama,
and fights, and love.Copy !req
146. True love.Copy !req
147. We've been sans Snap for months.Copy !req
148. Entertain us...Copy !req
149. and you just might live.Copy !req
150. Okay, my story?Copy !req
151. I moved here before the start of school.Copy !req
152. - You wanted to see me, Principal Burr?
- Oh, Josh.Copy !req
153. Josh, come on in.Copy !req
154. Have a seat.Copy !req
155. Hmm.Copy !req
156. How's the move from Toronto?Copy !req
157. Uh, yeah, good.Copy !req
158. Hmm. You fitting in okay?Copy !req
159. Yeah. Good.Copy !req
160. Like your classes?Copy !req
161. Yeah. Good.Copy !req
162. Are you a fan of the walnut, Josh?Copy !req
163. California is one of the biggest growers
of nuts in the world.Copy !req
164. We're not all celebrities and sunshine.Copy !req
165. I know it's more on-trend
to like almonds right now.Copy !req
166. Can't go into a Starbucks without somebody
asking for a splash of almond milk.Copy !req
167. And cashews?Copy !req
168. The cashew
is a cross-cultural masterpiece.Copy !req
169. But for me, it's the walnut,Copy !req
170. the healthiest food in the world.Copy !req
171. Filled with Vitamin E, phytonutrients...Copy !req
172. Brain food, they call it.
And that's all well and good, but...Copy !req
173. you know why I like it?Copy !req
174. Uh, why?Copy !req
175. Because the toughest shell can be cracked.Copy !req
176. - Are those for me?
- These? Oh, no.Copy !req
177. No, no.Copy !req
178. No, these are plastic.Copy !req
179. No, this is a nut-free campus.
I'm sorry I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
180. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian,Copy !req
181. Erika Kim...Copy !req
182. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
183. Hospital trip, the whole thing.Copy !req
184. Is that an allegory?Copy !req
185. It's a metaphor.Copy !req
186. A metaphor more.
Moving isn't easy.Copy !req
187. Not knowing anybody.Copy !req
188. Well, now you know me.Copy !req
189. Are you trying to bore us to death?Copy !req
190. Yo, your story is tired, bro.Copy !req
191. - Five percent Rotten Tomato, if that.
- I don't get it.Copy !req
192. How did a noob like you survive out here
for six months all on his lonesome?Copy !req
193. I can fish, hunt, rig solar panels,
and purify water from my own urine,Copy !req
194. which is even grosser than it sounds.Copy !req
195. - What are you, MacGyver?
- No.Copy !req
196. I'm Canadian.Copy !req
197. You're a value added.Copy !req
198. We could use someone like you.Copy !req
199. I don't know how to do golf.Copy !req
200. I was thinking more of like, hmm...Copy !req
201. I don't know, a slave.Copy !req
202. Ugh, I object to that terminology.Copy !req
203. Indentured American?Copy !req
204. Better.Copy !req
205. Josh has some serious skills,
unlike you foot lickers.Copy !req
206. You're coming with us, Just Josh.Copy !req
207. Now, we can do this the hard wayCopy !req
208. or the harder way.Copy !req
209. What's the hard way?Copy !req
210. We put an electric dog collar on
and shock you into being our...Copy !req
211. indentured American.Copy !req
212. And the harder way?Copy !req
213. - We put the collar on your junk.
- That's my favorite.Copy !req
214. Thanks.Copy !req
215. But no thanks.Copy !req
216. You see, I have a sacred mission
to accomplish.Copy !req
217. This is a nut-free campus.
Sorry that I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
218. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian,Copy !req
219. Erika Kim...Copy !req
220. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
221. - Come in.
- You wanted to see me, Mr. Burr?Copy !req
222. Sam Dean, meet Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
223. Josh, this is Sam.Copy !req
224. She's gonna show you around
and answer any questions you have.Copy !req
225. That's right. I named my sword after her.Copy !req
226. You would too.Copy !req
227. - Hey, Sam!
- Hey.Copy !req
228. - Hi, guys.
- Hola, Señorita Sam.Copy !req
229. Hola, Ms. Rodriguez.Copy !req
230. How do you have so many friendlies?Copy !req
231. - Who are you?
- I'm Sam Dean.Copy !req
232. Two syllables, two boys' names.
Sam, Dean.Copy !req
233. Like, Sam as in Samantha?Copy !req
234. Sam as in Samaira.Copy !req
235. Is that— is that like an England thing?Copy !req
236. Uh, no. My mum is an engineer,
and she worked in Jaipur,Copy !req
237. so I am the definition
of cultural appropriation.Copy !req
238. Samaira.Copy !req
239. It means "enchanting,"
which is pretty cringe.Copy !req
240. Samaira is a kind of girlCopy !req
241. who Instagrams an inspirational quote
over a peace sign selfie.Copy !req
242. Sam doesn't have any kind
of social media platform.Copy !req
243. Sam still likes riding her old BMX bike.Copy !req
244. Sam's thinking of getting a tattoo
but is too indecisive to choose.Copy !req
245. Wait, hang on.Copy !req
246. No one is friends with everyone
unless they're, like, a cheerleader.Copy !req
247. - Are you a cheerleader?
- Uh, no. But only because irony is dead.Copy !req
248. So what are you?Copy !req
249. I'm...Copy !req
250. interested.Copy !req
251. Look.Copy !req
252. Competitive fidget spinners,
creepypasta eaters,Copy !req
253. the meow-sters, E-sportos.Copy !req
254. Shannon Vinnecour
recreated Gondor in Minecraft.Copy !req
255. And Todd Altman self-identifies his gender
as a seahorse.Copy !req
256. The horse of the sea.Copy !req
257. I don't think
that we have those in Canada.Copy !req
258. Probably not.Copy !req
259. I get it.Copy !req
260. - You're nice.
- Nice?Copy !req
261. Nice is what you say when you
have nothing else to say about someone.Copy !req
262. It's lame. I'm not nice.Copy !req
263. Everyone seems to like you.Copy !req
264. I'm a human Sorting Hat.Copy !req
265. Principal Burr just uses me to help
figure out where the new students click.Copy !req
266. So where do I belong?Copy !req
267. Who are your people?Copy !req
268. I lived in a small town with small people.Copy !req
269. It's still jocks, and nerds,
and cheerleaders, and...Copy !req
270. me.Copy !req
271. You're challenging, Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
272. And I do like a challenge.Copy !req
273. - Hey!
- Shut up.Copy !req
274. Sam Dean is way above your orbit.Copy !req
275. - She's like stratosphere!
- She does have great tits, though.Copy !req
276. Hey! This is love,
and love is more important than boobs.Copy !req
277. Nothing is more important than boobs.Copy !req
278. I am in love with Sam Dean,Copy !req
279. and I promised to keep her safe
from thunder buckets of crap like you.Copy !req
280. Now, let the girl go,Copy !req
281. and we'll leave you to whatever
circle jerk you have planned for tonight.Copy !req
282. That's tomorrow night.
Tomorrow is Tuesday, right?Copy !req
283. - Shut the fuck up, Barry.
- Gender norms don't exist anymore.Copy !req
284. Hey!Copy !req
285. Give me the girl.Copy !req
286. - We're leaving.
- Sorry.Copy !req
287. Can't.Copy !req
288. We're on a mission to round up stragglers.
And that means you too.Copy !req
289. Gary...
collar this dog.Copy !req
290. Take another fucking step,
and you're dead.Copy !req
291. Well, fuck you, loser!Copy !req
292. Oh, my God!Copy !req
293. Is this what you were trying to do?Copy !req
294. I was trying to cut it clean off.
It was gonna be rad!Copy !req
295. Get it out, fuck-knuckle.Copy !req
296. Can't. It's stuck in the bone!Copy !req
297. Bone.Copy !req
298. Shut your face, Gary. Kill this guy.Copy !req
299. Kill him a lot!Copy !req
300. Hold on, Terry!Copy !req
301. Get out of there, Sam!Copy !req
302. Go! Sam!Copy !req
303. Any of you shit-dips move,Copy !req
304. and we have Burning Man Festival early.Copy !req
305. Angelica?Copy !req
306. Fuck!Copy !req
307. Six months.Copy !req
308. Six months looking for Sam,
and just when I think I finally find her,Copy !req
309. it's Angelica?Copy !req
310. Angelica might be ten,
but she's a total fuck—Copy !req
311. I wanna say a word that I can't useCopy !req
312. because I don't want to use bad words
to describe young women.Copy !req
313. I'm part of the solution.Copy !req
314. Look, hey, Terry.
Let's just forget about this, man.Copy !req
315. You guys keep her.Copy !req
316. You can't just leave me here,
you sphincter stain.Copy !req
317. - What about all that hero shit?
- That was before I knew it was you.Copy !req
318. - What's wrong with me?
- Angelica,Copy !req
319. I babysat you, like, three times,Copy !req
320. and every time, you either tried
to light me or my stuff on fire.Copy !req
321. Sorry to interrupt,Copy !req
322. but your sword
is still stuck in my fucking hand!Copy !req
323. Listen! I'm leaving.Copy !req
324. And if you wanna live,
you're not gonna follow.Copy !req
325. Yeah, and why is that?Copy !req
326. Because I just used my blade
to make a PB&J.Copy !req
327. Raspberry jam,Copy !req
328. extra crunchy peanut butter.Copy !req
329. And if you don't get an EpiPen,Copy !req
330. you'll go into anaphylactic shock,
right, Terry?Copy !req
331. How did you know I have an allergy?Copy !req
332. You may not know me...Copy !req
333. but I know you, Terrence Markazian.Copy !req
334. This is a nut-free campus.
Sorry that I wasn't clear about that.Copy !req
335. Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian...Copy !req
336. Terrence Markazian...Copy !req
337. they even smell a nut, it's death.Copy !req
338. You just made the wrong enemy.Copy !req
339. Your life is over, bro!Copy !req
340. Toss yourself to the Ghoulies,
they'll be kinder!Copy !req
341. You'll never survive on your own!Copy !req
342. I won't be alone once I find Sam.Copy !req
343. You'd really leave me back there,
all by myself, defenseless?Copy !req
344. Oh, please.
Even the Ghoulies are scared of you.Copy !req
345. Hmm. Fucking mutants should be.
They melt better than Barbie dolls.Copy !req
346. Bye-bye, Angelica.Copy !req
347. You didn't lace your sword with peanuts.
You hate PB&J.Copy !req
348. They don't know that.Copy !req
349. Psychos get psychosomatic symptoms.Copy !req
350. That's smart.Copy !req
351. You're not smart.Copy !req
352. The world is backwards, Angelica.
I just fit in way better now.Copy !req
353. The child who boasts like a man
may count his pubes on one hand.Copy !req
354. This is why I avoid people.Copy !req
355. Because street samurai are a thing now.Copy !req
356. Nice sword.Copy !req
357. I see you listened to the wisdom
I dropped, Joshua Wheeler.Copy !req
358. Wesley Fists? This guy was a dick.Copy !req
359. I've been trying to tell you.Copy !req
360. Please let me put you on game.Copy !req
361. You need a blade, Jaden.Copy !req
362. That was rule number one
in the 15th century.Copy !req
363. Why not the 21st?Copy !req
364. - Nice.
- Nice?Copy !req
365. This is an exact replica of the blade
the legendary Toshirō MifuneCopy !req
366. wielded in Throne of Blood.Copy !req
367. So why do you have it?Copy !req
368. We can't all be three-time
world gymnastics champion, Kurt Thomas,Copy !req
369. who employed the precision of gymnastics
and the deadly force of karateCopy !req
370. in the 1985 classic Gymkata.Copy !req
371. No one gets your movie references, dude.Copy !req
372. Josh understands what I'm talking about.
Hey, yo, Vanilla Ice,Copy !req
373. tell Hoyles here
swords are the perfect weapon.Copy !req
374. Oh, I mean, I don't know.
I'd probably take a gun over a sword.Copy !req
375. A gun? Guns don't have names.Copy !req
376. Swords have all the best names.Copy !req
377. Please, tell me what gun
is better than a sword?Copy !req
378. Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
379. Sniper rifle?Copy !req
380. A sniper rifle!
How many rounds you think you got?Copy !req
381. Awesome. Let's say a 30-round mag?Copy !req
382. How long do you think
that's gonna last you?Copy !req
383. Not long.Copy !req
384. All I gotta do is wait
for your bullets to be gone,Copy !req
385. and then answer...Copy !req
386. with honed steel.Copy !req
387. Patience is knowing the mulberry leaf
will soon become a silk robe.Copy !req
388. Principal Burr, back me up!Copy !req
389. You would take a sword over a gun?Copy !req
390. Oh, I don't know, Wes.
I usually play Sombra in Overwatch.Copy !req
391. You play as a girl?Copy !req
392. Sombra has thermoptic camo. I like that.Copy !req
393. You can't hit what you can't see.Copy !req
394. And let's not talk about guns,Copy !req
395. because if you do, technically,
I have to write a police report,Copy !req
396. and technically,
they have to file that with the FBI,Copy !req
397. and technically,
you'll be on a watch list.Copy !req
398. But I support all of our amendments,
especiallyCopy !req
399. your right to not be late
for third period. Gentlemen.Copy !req
400. What the fuck?Copy !req
401. I'm sorry.Copy !req
402. Oh, too slow! Stay goosey!Copy !req
403. What do you want, Wesley?Copy !req
404. If you're running with the Golf Club,
you're missing a polo shirt.Copy !req
405. I'm a pacifist now...Copy !req
406. atoning for crimes I committed
in my previous life,Copy !req
407. on a path to enlightenment.Copy !req
408. Don't start samurai crap with me.
Your dad was my dentist.Copy !req
409. Proper flossing has no impact
on my dedication to the Bushido Code.Copy !req
410. I've sworn an oath to help guide
lost spirits through the wasteland.Copy !req
411. I'm not lost.Copy !req
412. - I just wanna find—
- Sam Dean?Copy !req
413. I know.Copy !req
414. I saw your tags.Copy !req
415. "I am here." I did a little...Copy !req
416. Sherlock-and-popping,
figured you were fishing for her.Copy !req
417. - Do you know where she is?
- Well, I heard from Claire Richter,Copy !req
418. who runs with the Cheermazons, that
Scooter Kauffman heard the STEM Punk tribeCopy !req
419. saw Sam hanging in the mall.Copy !req
420. The mall is Baron Triumph territory.Copy !req
421. I came to tell you
that the soul stealer stole your lady.Copy !req
422. Um, douchers? It's go time.Copy !req
423. Hey!Copy !req
424. I'm signaling Turbo for reinforcements.Copy !req
425. - Trouble at the Golf Club, Mona.
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
426. Golfers don't rate as athletes.
They've got tiny balls.Copy !req
427. Besides, American Ninja Idol is on.Copy !req
428. Oh, shi—Copy !req
429. That's good.Copy !req
430. I did it! I won!Copy !req
431. No.Copy !req
432. Feel like hunting some new recruits?Copy !req
433. Come out, come out, wherever you are.Copy !req
434. - Where are you, Josh?
- Can't hide forever.Copy !req
435. - Here, Joshie, Joshie!
- We're gonna find you.Copy !req
436. Really?
You think this is a good time to get high?Copy !req
437. Bubonic Chronic
helps me focus in times of stress.Copy !req
438. Can I have a hit?Copy !req
439. We are not lighting
the Golf Team on fire.Copy !req
440. Come on.Copy !req
441. Yo!Copy !req
442. This place has everything!Copy !req
443. Food, water...Copy !req
444. a tub of Aquaphor.Copy !req
445. O negative blood for transfusions!Copy !req
446. Quilted toilet paper.Copy !req
447. Party supplies, Tide Pods...
What are you washing?Copy !req
448. Damn near all the Settlers of Catan.Copy !req
449. I thought you would've been taken out
in the first round, Josh Wheeler.Copy !req
450. But check you out!Copy !req
451. - I am impressed.
- This is just my old apartment.Copy !req
452. I just use it for storage.Copy !req
453. Yeah, storage.Copy !req
454. Flowers? Andes Mints?Copy !req
455. - You expecting some company?
- I thought that Sam might come here.Copy !req
456. I've been looking for her for months.Copy !req
457. I think what we had was special.Copy !req
458. You know, it was weird. It was like...Copy !req
459. a hit teen rom-com,
but spread out over a bunch of episodesCopy !req
460. that you could just binge in one sitting.Copy !req
461. Let's cut to the montage?Copy !req
462. Give me a sec to tidy up.Copy !req
463. Whoa, I can handle a little mess.Copy !req
464. What's so embarrassing?Copy !req
465. Oh, just grabbing my Pokémon cards.
You know, Pikachu, Charmander.Copy !req
466. I even have a Mewtwo, which is...
You know, gotta catch 'em all.Copy !req
467. Just don't want you to think
that I'm some kind of... weirdo.Copy !req
468. "Call Grandma, no texts.
The future scares her."Copy !req
469. What's this?Copy !req
470. That's, uh...Copy !req
471. That's my mom.Copy !req
472. After the divorce,Copy !req
473. my mom got custody, and we moved here.Copy !req
474. But she leaves the house
at the crack of dawnCopy !req
475. and doesn't get home
until after dinner, so...Copy !req
476. I have a Post-it parent.Copy !req
477. Sam, meet my mom.Copy !req
478. Mom... this is Sam.Copy !req
479. And your Pokémon cards?Copy !req
480. Uh, I actually have a huge collection,
but they're back in Toronto with my dad.Copy !req
481. Wow.Copy !req
482. I am a weirdo.Copy !req
483. But not a total weirdo.Copy !req
484. Sorry, I just...Copy !req
485. I don't want a pity peck
for our first kiss. You know?Copy !req
486. Josh...Copy !req
487. You could be broody and bleak,
but you're not.Copy !req
488. Your superpower is your honesty.Copy !req
489. Radical honesty.Copy !req
490. You're not trying to be anyone else
but yourself.Copy !req
491. Thanks for telling me where Sam is.Copy !req
492. You guys can just take
whatever you want and go.Copy !req
493. And what if Sam's not at the mall?Copy !req
494. - What if she's dead?
- She's not.Copy !req
495. Look, my mom used to leave me
Post-it notes, but this one...Copy !req
496. this one is Sam's writing.Copy !req
497. She left it here for me.Copy !req
498. If Sam is out there, I'm not giving up.Copy !req
499. Everyone can hear that... right?Copy !req
500. Shit.Copy !req
501. It's Turbo Bro Jock.Copy !req
502. Turbo Bro?Copy !req
503. You mean, Turbo Pokaski?Copy !req
504. I can't believe some parent
named their kid Turbo.Copy !req
505. They might as well
have named him Adolf or Bully.Copy !req
506. Turbo gathered all the jocks
into one tribe.Copy !req
507. Football, baseball, golf, et cetera.Copy !req
508. - He's the bad guy.
- How'd they find us?Copy !req
509. We found it here!Copy !req
510. Bubonic Chronic.Copy !req
511. Bubonic Chronic?Copy !req
512. Wesley?Copy !req
513. Little pig, little pig.Copy !req
514. Let us in! Or we'll huff, and we'll puff,Copy !req
515. and we'll kick the shit out of you.Copy !req
516. We have to get out of here, Josh.Copy !req
517. You and I are not a thing, Angelica.Copy !req
518. If I kaboom those Jocks to ash,
can I stay on your team?Copy !req
519. I don't have a team.Copy !req
520. I'm a genius with very flexible morality.
You need me!Copy !req
521. I agree with the petulant dwarf.
You require our assistance.Copy !req
522. Uh-uh. Both of you, unsubscribe.
You two made my life hell in high school.Copy !req
523. I've done a great many things
that've besmirched my soul.Copy !req
524. A rōnin seeks forgiveness through action.Copy !req
525. Having other people around
is just trouble, okay?Copy !req
526. - I'm going to find Sam. That's it.Copy !req
527. It's not on me to forgive you
for being a jerk in high school, Wesley.Copy !req
528. And I'm not babysitting you
anymore, Angelica.Copy !req
529. - Look, I'm sorry I was such a shit.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
530. No, I'm not. But we have no idea
what's going on here.Copy !req
531. We don't know why the adults
turned into Ghoulies or why kids didn't.Copy !req
532. But those are just kids out there.Copy !req
533. Fascist bullies who saw Mad Max
too many times and dressed like assholes,Copy !req
534. but still kids.Copy !req
535. The only way we're gonna find answers
and survive is if we stay together.Copy !req
536. These douchebags wanna party?Copy !req
537. Let's throw 'em a real rager.Copy !req
538. Throw the rocks!Copy !req
539. Pussies!Copy !req
540. They're not coming out, Turbo.Copy !req
541. We gotta turn up, Turbo.Copy !req
542. We're savage AF, Turbo.Copy !req
543. No one ducks our tribe, Turbo.Copy !req
544. Let's bust through this goal line, Turbo.Copy !req
545. Yeah, Turbo!Copy !req
546. I'm dirty! Josh!Copy !req
547. Make it rain!Copy !req
548. Is that all you got, losers?
You're gonna have to do better than that!Copy !req
549. Ghoulies!Copy !req
550. Holy shit!Copy !req
551. We gotta go.Copy !req
552. What did they do?Copy !req
553. Get the fu—Copy !req
554. - Come on.
- Come on.Copy !req
555. There's an alley off Lexington Ave.
Goes straight to the mall.Copy !req
556. You guys take that,
I'll take Glendale to Colorado.Copy !req
557. We need to stay together.Copy !req
558. We stay together, they'll catch us.
Those Jocks have a hard-on for me.Copy !req
559. I'll lose them and meet you
by the rear entrance of Dick's.Copy !req
560. Rear.Copy !req
561. Fine. Get your balls in gear, boys.Copy !req
562. Uh...Copy !req
563. Tracks!Copy !req
564. You can run, but you can't hide, sucker!Copy !req
565. God, I can't believe I'm gonna get caught.Copy !req
566. And the worst part...Copy !req
567. I'd probably still be with Sam
if I just went to that dumb football game.Copy !req
568. Hike!Copy !req
569. Oh, shit.Copy !req
570. Ah...Copy !req
571. - Sam!
- Josh!Copy !req
572. - Sam, where are you?
- I can't see. I'm bleeding!Copy !req
573. Josh! Josh, follow emergency
lockdown procedures! Find your buddy!Copy !req
574. - I'm gonna find you!
- Josh, I'm scared!Copy !req
575. - I... Josh—
- Sam?Copy !req
576. Sam!Copy !req
577. Sam!Copy !req
578. Sam!Copy !req
579. Sam!Copy !req
580. You know what?Copy !req
581. I promised Sam,
and I'm not stopping until I find her.Copy !req
582. Get him!Copy !req
583. Nobody messes with the Golf Team!Copy !req
584. Damn, these some chain chains.Copy !req
585. Dead end.Copy !req
586. There's a sale.Copy !req
587. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
588. There's a sale.Copy !req
589. Spark me, Samurai.Copy !req
590. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
591. Stupid Russian-made flamethrower!Copy !req
592. - I can't open it!
- I'm almost empty.Copy !req
593. - You gotta kill her!
- There's a sale!Copy !req
594. Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon.Copy !req
595. I'm a pacifist!Copy !req
596. Plus, this poor white girl
just wants some yoga pants.Copy !req
597. As an empiricist,
I find the need to redeem your soulCopy !req
598. to be hopelessly naive and fucking stupid.Copy !req
599. Oh, shit! My sword!Copy !req
600. - You suck at hero-ing.
- I saved your stupid lives, twice.Copy !req
601. Now, hurry. Turbo's on my ass.Copy !req
602. Um... No, he's not.Copy !req
603. Why aren't they chasing you?Copy !req
604. Baron Triumph.Copy !req
605. Oh, shit.Copy !req
606. Anyone know who the hell
this twat herder really is?Copy !req
607. I heard he's Marco Lions,
that gearhead that lived in Hollywood.Copy !req
608. Didn't your old bestie Jaden Hoyles
ride a motorcycle like that?Copy !req
609. Well, Hoyles is a real prick.Copy !req
610. Whoever he is, here he comes.Copy !req
611. What the...Copy !req
612. So what's like life in the apocalypse?Copy !req
613. It's never what you'd expect.Copy !req