DAVE 3x5

1. (giggles) Hi.

2. Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!

3. - Dicky! Dicky! - (screams, laughs)

4. All right, Mississippi.

5. I need a female participant onstage ASAP.

6. - Where is she? Where is she at? - (crowd cheering)

7. Oh, I see her right there. Yes, I do.

8. I see her.

9. And, uh, where am I going? I don't know.

10. Oh. And, uh...

11. I love you, Lil Dicky, over here! Over here!

12. You.

13. - (crowd cheering) - Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

14. - (screams, laughs) - Get up here.

15. Yeah. There she is.

16. - (crowd booing) - Hi. - Hi.

17. - How you doing? Get off the stage,

18. you fat fucking whore!

19. And to the republic, for which it stands...

20. - A nation. - One nation,

21. - under God... - Invisible.

22. Yeah.

23. The liberty of justice because.

24. Yeah. Kind of close, but,

25. - yeah. - Baby, I want you to fuck me to these words.

26. Crazy, right?

27. - (knock at door) - Oh, Dave, it's her.

28. - Get up. - She's here?

29. Hey. Hi. Yeah, come on in.

30. Thank you so much.

31. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

32. Hi.

33. - I'm Dave. - Hi.

34. Hi. (stammers) I'm-I'm Meg. (laughing)

35. I'm sorry, I'm just,

36. I'm such a huge fan.

37. You're, like, my favorite rapper of all time. (laughs)

38. Oh, shit. I'm like your Drake.

39. - Yeah. - Cool.

40. Well, Meg, I just had to look at you mano a mano

41. and tell you I'm so sorry about

42. - what happened tonight. - Oh, oh, don't worry about it.

43. I-I mean, it's a Lil Dicky show, right?

44. - I get it. - Oh. Well...

45. We will make it up to you.

46. - Mike. - Yeah?

47. - Let's get her a T-shirt. - (Meg gasps)

48. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What size? - Yeah.

49. - Bring the whole box over so she can pick. - Yeah, yeah.

50. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

51. We have a full service operation here,

52. and we designed all the clothes.

53. - Oh. Okay. Check it out. Boom.

54. And... a Lil Dicky show is an experience,

55. and you had the wrong experience tonight,

56. so you have to have the right experience.

57. Like, what about coming to another show?

58. - Uh... - You want to come to Memphis?

59. Memphis? Backstage passes.

60. - Oh, my God. (laughs) - The whole kit and caboodle.

61. Oh, wow, um, that is so generous,

62. but, um, I don't have a car.

63. - Oh. - So... yeah.

64. - Well, we have a tour bus. - It's full.

65. - It's... (clears throat) It's full, sadly. - No.

66. - It's not full. - No?

67. She's riding to Memphis with us. Is she? Okay.

68. Yeah, she's my ride or die.

69. If she doesn't ride, we all die.

70. Are you serious?

71. Yeah, we're gonna have the time of our lives

72. traveling across America. What do you say?

73. - Oh, my gosh, okay, yeah! Yeah?

74. - All right. Yeah. - (screams, laughs)

75. It's gonna be so fun. You can't shit on the bus, though, at all.

76. - Oh, okay. Yeah.

77. - Uh, sure. - It's not just you, it's everybody can't shit.

78. - I-I can hold it in. Great. (squeals) - Great.

79. There she is.

80. - (squeals) I cannot... - Welcome to the tour.

81. I-I-I cannot believe y'all are even at my house.

82. - (laughs) - Oh, yeah.

83. - Wh-Why are y'all getting off? - Oh, so

84. my DJ has this urgent Zoom meeting that just came up,

85. and the rats ate our Wi-Fi thing, so...

86. - I hate to intrude. - Yeah.

87. Any way we can just pop in for 20 minutes

88. just so he can do this? And then we'll be on our way.

89. - Oh, uh, sure, no problem. Yeah. Okay.

90. I mean, it's not very fancy.

91. Oh, no, it looks, uh, slice of life, in a good way.

92. I don't even know. I think she got cancer or something.

93. I'm-a go gas up.

94. Okay.

95. - I still live with my parents. - Oh. That's cool.

96. Like, living with my parents was my favorite part of life,

97. you know? It all starts with the birth.

98. Hey, Meg, what's the Wi-Fi?

99. Oh, uh, "I live for him," one word, all caps.

100. Wow, you are a big fan.

101. Oh, no. "Him" is Jesus.

102. - Oh, sure. - Yeah. Um, I'll set you up

103. - in Aaron's room right down the hall. - Oh, thank you so much.

104. - Mm-hmm. Hey, Megabyte,

105. where the bathroom at?

106. Oh, uh, right down that way.

107. - All right. Thank you. - Yeah. Yeah.

108. You know, what I need is a tour of the home.

109. You know? I got to know what makes Meg Meg.

110. Uh, okay.

111. - Take me, my lady. - Okay...

112. my, um... Well, here's the family room.

113. I used to know all this shit.

114. Uh, a lot of happy memories here.

115. Wow, it's... it's starting to come down.

116. Check this out.

117. Aw, you got it.

118. - Yeah. - Man, yeah.

119. Like, there were so many rounds of notes with this thing

120. to make it not look albino.

121. 'Cause it, like, looks like

122. an albino Black man. You see what I'm saying?

123. Yeah. I-I think it looks just like you.

124. - (both laugh) - Oh, my gosh.

125. Yeah, I get all your stuff.

126. I-I think you are a satirical genius.

127. - (sighs) Thank you. I appreciate that. - (laughs) Yeah.

128. Like your song "White Guy,"

129. I totally get it. I see all the irony,

130. - all the layers. Yeah. - Yes. Yes.

131. I love how y-you take these big ideas

132. and, and you subvert them

133. and y-you get the point across through the humor in your music.

134. - Yes. Yeah. - Yeah.

135. Ah, cool. I mean, yeah, like,

136. what-what are people like out here?

137. 'Cause I, honestly, I wasn't really vibing

138. with the crowd last night, to be honest.

139. Oh. Uh, why? 'Cause they hollered at me?

140. (scoffs) No, look,

141. those guys are B-holes, but they got 'em everywhere, right?

142. I'd even say they were D-holes.

143. - Hmm. - Yeah.

144. Uh, he re, let me show you a picture of my best friend.

145. She's crippled, but she is so cool. (chuckles)

146. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, she is, uh, crippled.

147. I got a present for you.

148. You don't like?

149. Oh, no, it's-it's pretty dope.

150. No, I mean, I love Wizard of Oz, too.

151. It's just kind of hard to watch now that

152. we know that Judy Garland was being sexually assaulted

153. every day by the Oompa-Loompas.

154. Yeah, yeah, sure. Uh, the Munchkins.

155. - Oh, the Munchkins. - Yeah.

156. Yeah, she was molested by the Munchkins.

157. I mean, they were upskirting her, you know?

158. - Yeah. - Anyways,

159. what are your wildest hopes and dreams in life, Meg?

160. Well, um...

161. I love to dance.

162. - (laughs) - You want to dance?

163. (laughs) No, no. There's-there's no music.

164. Huh? You said there's no music?

165. - (laughs) - Come on.

166. - Whoo! - Hey!

167. Whoa.

168. Oh, my God.

169. - I love that. - (laughs)

170. I, like, am in love with this style of dance.

171. Yeah, uh... (stammers) I actually had a-a

172. TikTok channel with over 6,000 views.

173. Oh, send it to me, I-I'll tweet it.

174. Oh, um...

175. My parents made me take it down,

176. - actually. Yeah. - Oh, no. Why?

177. They banned secular dancing. (chuckles)

178. They think it's unchristian.

179. No dancing 'cause of Christian?

180. But I-I-I'm not gonna be, like, a professional dancer

181. or anything anyway, right? So who cares?

182. I don't know, I have to object

183. to that. Like, nowadays you don't need to be born with,

184. like, an infinite amount of talent

185. to be a professional at a certain thing.

186. Like, if you have your own style and your own pizzazz,

187. you can really make anything happen.

188. That just sucks 'cause I feel like it should be your choice,

189. not theirs.

190. Shoot, shoot.

191. What's going on?

192. I think the bus rat has been gnawing on my phone.

193. I was gonna bring a girl back to the bus,

194. and I was gonna bang-bang it out,

195. and then I just bailed 'cause of the rats.

196. I was like, she's gonna see rats.

197. - And rat shit, you know? Sure, it was the rats.

198. That is the reason. I didn't want her to see rats

199. - and be grossed out. How many people have you...?

200. - I hook up... - (gasps) Oh.

201. - Uh... - Hi.

202. Hi. Uh...

203. - What in the world? Hello.

204. Who are you people?

205. We're here with your daughter. Um...

206. Girl who has the body and the h— all the... head of hair.

207. - She's shorter. She's...

208. She has all the hair on her head. There she is.

209. Mom, Dad, I thought y'all were at the fair.

210. We had to turn around 'cause of the weather.

211. All of Mother's custards got spoiled.

212. Megan Ashley, I know you weren't alone with a man in this house.

213. No, no, no. (stammers) It's not like that.

214. - No. For the life of me,

215. I do not understand what is going on here.

216. So, we're friends with Meg, and she actually

217. was just being kind enough

218. to let us use the Wi-Fi here on our way

219. - to... - Memphis.

220. - Memphis. - We're headed to Memphis, and we're just stopping over.

221. - We'll be out of here soon. In and out.

222. - Y'all ain't going nowhere. - (thunder rumbling)

223. They closed the roads.

224. Hurricane.

225. Oh.

226. Hmm.

227. Well...

228. Don't worry,

229. y'all can stay here till it passes.

230. Ah...

231. Uh...

232. Megan Ashley, will you just come and help your grandmother?

233. She's drenched.

234. So, um...

235. We have to stay...

236. Richard?

237. What's that?

238. Richard.

239. Oh, no, you're confused.

240. I'm Michael. Michael.

241. So, I-I've just been considering this beautiful offer,

242. but we have, like, all the wheel drive.

243. - Oh, yeah. - Bus driver's coming. We're gonna cruise

244. - through it. We are... - Vroom. We'll be out.

245. No.

246. I wouldn't get caught in the storm.

247. Got stuck out there a few weeks back

248. with the boys at our meeting.

249. Wasn't pretty.

250. - A meeting with the boys? - Uh...

251. (laughs) And there's more.

252. Uh, this is my friend Gata,

253. short for alligator, and

254. Vatka, which is not short for anything.

255. She's just Trans-Siberian.

256. Not to be confused

257. - with transsexual. - Uh...

258. - Transgender. - Eh.

259. And there is another guy in another room as well.

260. - He's tan. - (thunder rumbling)

261. Well, can you— Can't you just, like, drive through it?

262. Cliff is stuck at an AmPm.

263. Dude, why can't we just Uber?

264. Because, dude, it's crazy outside.

265. What are you talking about?

266. Cliff.

267. All right, well, just, just stay safe,

268. and then we'll see you soon, huh?

269. What are you looking at, baby?

270. Relax, read the room. It's not time for that.

271. These people are insanely conservative.

272. Yeah, no shit. We're, like,

273. in the absolute belly of the beast right now, everybody.

274. Take note and heed, okay?

275. There are some outdated principles

276. being adhered to in this household.

277. Okay, but they're putting us up, all right?

278. So, that's a good belief.

279. And I appreciate that, but I am thinking about

280. our dear, sweet Meg, who we've already put through hell,

281. mind you, okay? She's got to deal

282. - with this whole shit on a day-to-day level? Oh.

283. All she wants to do in life is dance.

284. That's what makes her happy. That's what fills her soul.

285. And her parents ban it because it's "unchristian."

286. Didn't your parents tell you not to be a rapper, bro?

287. Not for religious reasons. Like, that was just because

288. they were being practical and logical as far as, like,

289. planning my future, and I-I understand, like,

290. logic and practicality are Jewish traits,

291. - though, but... Very.

292. You know, I-I-I might just have a word with

293. - her parents and... - Bro, please do not say anything that

294. gets us kicked out of this house during a fucking hurricane.

295. My mom

296. says that we cannot continue to sit back

297. and let people ruin the societal fabric

298. of our country just because they were "raised differently."

299. - Like, we're past that point. If anybody

300. should be uncomfortable, it should be the Blacks.

301. I don't like the way that dude looked at me.

302. Hey. Jew to Black, we're in the same boat here.

303. We're in Mississippi, we're both kind of, you know, not...

304. Same boat? You not in the same boat as me. - What?

305. Y'all ain't go through no slavery.

306. - Have you ever heard of the Holocaust? - Oh...

307. That's not slavery.

308. It's not slavery? What do you mean?

309. They enslaved the Jews and then starved them

310. to the point of wither,

311. - right? - Mm.

312. I mean, both things are terrible,

313. but at least with slavery the aim was not to exterminate.

314. The aim was to keep everybody alive

315. so output could be, like, at a max.

316. Oh, my God. - Output? It's true, it's true.

317. They were producing bushels of, like, wheat

318. - and cotton. - Cotton, you fucking asshole.

319. Then, like, the whole economy, the GDP,

320. everything was on the line.

321. The Holocaust, they were just, like,

322. bringing in the Jews, thinning them,

323. and then cutting their heads off with gas.

324. Okay, and here we are being the lazy,

325. liberal assholes they think we are.

326. We should be out there helping them,

327. boarding up the windows, or whatever the fuck

328. you do, and also, don't say a word

329. to her parents about dancing.

330. Don't.

331. - Don't. - This is the last thing I'm gonna say about the Holocaust.

332. - (Mike groans) - Oh, my God...

333. Back when it was happening,

334. a lot of people didn't speak up,

335. and then, when the Nazis came for those people,

336. - there was nobody left to speak up for them. - (Mike sighs)

337. - I learned that in Hebrew school. - Mm.

338. I'm not gonna have Meg be fucked that way.

339. - Don't be stupid. - Look, they're not

340. gonna be able to argue with the logic

341. that I'm gonna come with. No one can argue with logic.

342. - We got to get the fuck out of here. - Fuck.

343. Do you wanna make knife and fork duos with me?

344. God says I'm foolhardy and tarnished.

345. What was that?

346. He hates me when I weep.

347. Okay.

348. - (thunder rumbling) - Oh.

349. Dadgum storm turned right for us.

350. Aaron needs to take care

351. of that dead tree that blew into the shed.

352. Well, I'll tell him.

353. So, you're a-a musical performer?

354. That's right.

355. Is it Christian music?

356. Uh...

357. If you count Jewish as Christian.

358. Um, which...

359. I don't know why you would, unless you were thinking about

360. how Jesus was Jewish, right?

361. Uh, but if you don't think that way, no.

362. Um, I'm actually a rapper.

363. But, like, with a totally— a positive message.

364. Well, we prefer God's message.

365. - Yeah? Um... Mm.

366. And I hear that fully. Um...

367. I do think God would totally gel

368. with my message, for what it's worth.

369. You don't have to share our values

370. - to share our table. - Mm.

371. To play devil's advocate, not that he needs one,

372. this is kind of what's wrong with America, you know?

373. We don't really know each other. You don't know my values.

374. Maybe we have more in common than you might think.

375. I am so sorry.

376. Why don't you tell me what they are?

377. Uh...

378. Mom, what are our values?

379. Our values?

380. Yeah, like, I'm in Mississippi right now,

381. and I think I'm with some people that you said

382. are, like, the bad part of America.

383. Oh, God, David, are they armed?

384. No. Well, I don't know, probably, but,

385. like, I mean, I'm trying to remember what I learned about

386. nature versus nurture. It's just, like,

387. they say they get their word from Jesus.

388. - And I don't know what, like, station this is. - (thunder rumbles loudly)

389. God... damn it, I love you, brother.

390. I'll see you on the other side of that mountain.

391. Talking to, um, my cousin.

392. I need you.

393. You need me?

394. Come on.

395. You know, no one ever says "things are going north"

396. when they're going well.

397. Only south when they're going poorly.

398. In the name of things going poorly,

399. I think the little girl is a demon.

400. - No. - Bro, she's a kid.

401. You know when rappers say "demon time"? What is that?

402. I thought it was when people fuck late-night

403. and they don't want to tell anyone about it.

404. No, that's called a "sneaky wink."

405. God, there's so many terms I just don't understand or know.

406. Sneak...

407. - (whispers): Dude. - What?

408. I don't know... - Hey, hey.

409. - What? - What?

410. I can see her pussy.

411. Shut up. - Can't you?

412. Oh. Is that...

413. Is that her p— Is that her puss— That's her pussy?

414. That's her pussy. - What do we do?

415. Oh. Wait.

416. Come here, buddy. What is he doing?

417. - Now, why would she...? - He's licking her feet.

418. - Oh... - My God.

419. That's disgusting.

420. Um...

421. Why can't I st— I keep looking at it.

422. Don't look. - Well...

423. I can't look.

424. Let's just go to another room.

425. Let's just go to another room. Quietly, quietly.

426. - Okay. - (shushes)

427. Oh, my God.

428. We can't have twigs and branches flying around,

429. crashing into the house, can we?

430. I guess not, no.

431. Oh, a saw. Cool.

432. It's like a horror movie out here.

433. Did you ever see Saw?

434. Nah. I hate the playground.

435. They used to call me Monkey Bar.

436. They used to call me Bic.

437. 'Cause I used to Bic my dick with my dad's razor.

438. I don't know.

439. What are your intentions with Meg?

440. Pure. Christlike.

441. She's just a fan.

442. Yeah, and y'all rappers don't fuck fans, right?

443. - I mean, s-sometime— I... - What?

444. Is she too fat?

445. No.

446. I love fat.

447. I'm just fucking with you.

448. - Okay. - I wouldn't fuck her either.

449. Well, she's your sister, so...

450. - It's a Category 3. Hey, Ryan, man,

451. congrats on getting that submarine license, bro.

452. Let me know how it is down there,

453. Finding Nemo and all that.

454. GD all day. Salute.

455. Oh, this is a good one. I used to smoke cigarettes.

456. Hey, yo, Alan and Christine,

457. I heard y'all quit that nicotine.

458. That's what's up, my G, GD all day.

459. - Salute. - (breathing heavily)

460. I've seen the devil.

461. Stared him square in the eyes.

462. Felt the heat off his face.

463. - Okay. - I will protect

464. this family with my life,

465. protect Meg, even from herself.

466. Do you understand me, boy?

467. I-I think I do. I don't understand what's happening now.

468. Are we just cutting this side of the tree, or...?

469. Got another one?

470. Hey, Xander, I heard you got fired on your day off

471. for stealing cardboard boxes.

472. - That's what's up, bruh. - (panting)

473. Keep doing your thing, G.

474. You see me now, motherfucker?

475. - What the fuck, man? - Hmm?

476. - Do you see me? - You tripping.

477. - No, do you see... - Calm down!

478. - (crying) - Why the fuck you throw my phone like that, man?

479. Gata.

480. Go get her, bro. What are you doing?

481. Bro, I'm not chasing that type of energy, man.

482. Why do you always do this shit, Gata?

483. Do what? I was doing Cameos.

484. Trying to get some money.

485. - (crying) "For these enemies of mine,

486. "who do not want me to reign over them,

487. - bring them here..." - (chain saw revs)

488. "... and I shall slaughter them before you."

489. - Uh... - Corinthians 6:14.

490. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers..."

491. (whispers): Jesus,

492. save me.

493. Okay. I think the power went out, dude.

494. Yeah, I think so.

495. - Let us pray. - Oh.

496. Heavenly Father,

497. thank you for this nourishment

498. and shelter from this mighty storm.

499. Thank you for this bounty we are able

500. to share with our guests.

501. Please watch over them and protect them

502. - on their journey. - Amen.

503. - (clears throat) - (whispers): Not yet.

504. Blessed Savior,

505. we ask for your light, that it may guide our Megan

506. toward more righteous pursuits.

507. We see the devil's temptation,

508. and we know he is here, at large.

509. In the name of Christ we pray.

510. Amen.

511. Amen.

512. Gata, will your foreign woman

513. be joining us for supper?

514. Oh, no, ma'am.

515. Vatka's all right. She's not gonna be here tonight.

516. Well, we can make her a little plate.

517. I'd rather not.

518. You know, one thing I've been thinking about all day—

519. and this might be a little difficult to talk about—

520. but what is unchristian about dancing?

521. Oh, God. Dave, come on.

522. It's not difficult to discuss at all, David.

523. The truth about modern dance is that it can create lust

524. and lead to temptation.

525. - Mm-hmm. 'Cause of—

526. y-you mean— you're thinking about twerking and stuff?

527. Richard?

528. What? Oh. Oh...

529. Oh, no, it's Michael.

530. Remember? Michael. Richard's dead.

531. I just think it's more or less how she expresses herself,

532. and expressing yourself today might look a little different

533. than expressing yourself looked when you were her age, you know?

534. - Dave... - The girl filmed herself doing splits

535. over a plastic snake head.

536. Dad.

537. - Snake head? Gracelyn, sweetie.

538. Here. Why don't you take your plate to your room?

539. Yes, Ma.

540. - No, she— th-the girl... - Can you chill out?

541. She doesn't have to... - (shushing)

542. Sorry.

543. Just eat your food.

544. Well, now that the child's gone, we can really dive into it, no?

545. Like, sexuality. Let's just talk about it real quick.

546. What is evil about sexuality?

547. Because for Gen Z, sexuality, like,

548. flaunting how you move and gyrate

549. is just as commonplace as, like, combing your hair was

550. for you back in the '40s or whatever, you know?

551. Um... - It's, like, a different time,

552. - and we have to... - Rampant lust leads to emptiness

553. and desperation.

554. You become trapped in a cycle of pleasure,

555. and you start to lose your soul.

556. - Mm-hmm. - Your soul?

557. Jesus was pretty clear

558. about not judging sexuality.

559. I mean, he hung out with prostitutes.

560. And that's a Christian woman. Formerly.

561. Who still might, uh, prescribe to some...

562. You know, even my parents, for example,

563. used to look at Kim Kardashian like a DIY porno slut,

564. but now they're able to see, "Oh,

565. "she's gotten her, like, law degree.

566. She frees incarcerated Blacks."

567. It's like, things evolve, times change,

568. and I just think, like, keeping an open mind

569. to the present day is pretty essential.

570. To say that's baloney would be an insult to cold meats.

571. I know you libtards care more about criminals

572. than unborn babies.

573. Aaron.

574. You said "libtard"?

575. 'Cause we don't say "tard" today.

576. Please don't tell me what to say in my own home

577. and I won't tell you what to say in yours.

578. I-I'm just saying, living your whole life

579. on a philosophy that's based off of a book

580. that was written tens of thousands of years ago,

581. like, I don't know, we've just learned way too many facts

582. since then to still be adhering to those rules.

583. And to hold poor, sweet Meg to those standards,

584. like, she doesn't even believe in that.

585. Hey!

586. Don't you dare say that.

587. - Oh. - And don't talk to my parents that way.

588. I'm sorry, Meg, but no one's gonna defend you,

589. and I'm trying, and it's just like, the way that you guys

590. are living is not necessarily more righteous

591. - than the way that we're... - What?

592. Oh, I got it.

593. Think that's me.

594. Wh-What?

595. - Hey, what's up? Hey. How are you?

596. I can't believe you made it out here with this weather.

597. - I know, this shit is crazy. Man, you looking hella good, too.

598. Damn. I can't believe you came like that.

599. - Is that Vatka? - Seriously.

600. - (kissing) - Man, I'm so happy to see you.

601. - (Graciela mutters) - Hey, thank you for the food,

602. but, um, I got to catch up with y'all in the morning.

603. Gata, who is that?

604. Oh, this is Graciela, you know. Cliff, he hella pussy.

605. She got a four-cylinder SUV,

606. - still came to kick it with me. - Mm-hmm.

607. I'm-a be outside in her car in the front.

608. That's my dawg. Gata, bro,

609. he had two bitches pull up in a hurricane.

610. What is this fucking bitch?

611. - What? - Who the fuck is that?

612. Let's just be cool, yo. Um...

613. - I put you on my skin. - Hey, let's just be— Come on.

614. - You slut. - (screams) - Oh!

615. - Uh... Slut.

616. - Are you fucking...? - Calm down.

617. Are you fucking kidding me right now?

618. - (gasps) - Prevent it. Prevent it. Prevent it.

619. - Elz, do something, Elz. Bro, what?

620. - Do something. Anything. - What am I gonna...?

621. Help them— Get her up.

622. - Get her off the floor. - (panting)

623. You're defending her?

624. Really?

625. - That's-that's great. - (door opens)

626. Gata, man, what the fuck, bro?

627. Meg.

628. - Meg? Not now, Dave.

629. I am so sorry about all of that.

630. What the fuck are you thinking, Gata?

631. Yeah, what is your deal, man? How many girls do you need

632. to come at one fucking time, Gata, to another person's house?

633. This can't happen over and over again.

634. You need fucking help. - Why would you do this?

635. You're a sex addict. Get your shit together.

636. You know what? I am, bro.

637. What you want me to say?

638. You don't think I know that about myself already?

639. You know how crazy in the head I am?

640. I got to text a bitch every night

641. just because I can't stand being alone.

642. You know how bad that feel?

643. What y'all want me to do?

644. - Okay... - Tell me. You a Christian.

645. It's okay. Okay?

646. It's all okay. Just share your pain.

647. What you want to know? You want to know the last time

648. that I was with a girl?

649. Committed to her?

650. She left me and had an abortion.

651. You know what that shit did to me?

652. Broke my fucking heart!

653. He wants you to love yourself

654. just as much as He loves you.

655. He will never abandon you.

656. Why wouldn't He?

657. Everybody else did already.

658. I never knew my mom, never knew my dad.

659. How's somebody gonna tell me what to do?

660. Gata, what do you mean you don't know your mom?

661. I've met your mom. She's...

662. Nobody met my real mom.

663. She left me, man.

664. She chose drugs, man.

665. (crying): Like, what y'all want me to say? Like...

666. Why should I trust a woman?

667. Why should I love a woman?

668. My mom didn't love me my whole life.

669. How y'all gonna tell me something

670. to make me feel bad, make me want to change?

671. Like... (scoffs)

672. I was raised by Michael Jordan, man, like...

673. The Simpsons, dawg.

674. Shit like that, bro.

675. - You know how that feel, dawg? You are God's son.

676. Can we pray for you?

677. Yeah, man.

678. (softly): Okay.

679. Dear Lord, we pray for our friend,

680. and ask that You help him

681. through the struggles he's facing.

682. Please let this young man know

683. that he is worthy of Your love.

684. - I love you, man. - Okay.

685. - Hey. Here... Thank you.

686. Hey, Meg, I'm so sorry about

687. - all the craziness tonight. - (phone whooshes)

688. And I'm really sorry that we didn't really get

689. to hang out how we planned to.

690. I don't know if you want to come to another show at, like,

691. a later date, but I-I would love that.

692. Most importantly, I am so sorry for bringing up the dancing.

693. I was just trying to...

694. I don't know.

695. Sorry again.

696. - Hi. - Hey.

697. Um, I didn't respond yesterday 'cause I just needed a minute.

698. - You know? - Absolutely.

699. - And I-I need to, like, really explain... - Um...

700. and apologize— No?

701. Yeah.

702. Look, Dave, uh... (chuckles)

703. I really want to be mad at you for making all these assumptions

704. - about me and my family. - Yeah.

705. But, you know, I realize that, even though I'm this

706. big Lil Dicky superfan,

707. I-I don't really know you either.

708. You do know me. You do.

709. Like, I am the guy that you love in the music. I'm that same guy.

710. I'm not the asshole that you saw last night.

711. Oh, no, I-I know you were just trying to help,

712. but I don't need you to save me, Dave.

713. I'm already saved.

714. Sure.

715. I-I'm not religious, so it's, like, hard for me

716. to, like, fully, you know, but...

717. - Mm. - Here's what I'll tell you, is...

718. only when I started doing, like, exactly what I love to do

719. in life did I feel any semblance of... spirit.

720. And my parents were, like, so anti.

721. They had a whole intervention saying, "Don't do this, Dave."

722. Pretty much everybody in my whole life

723. was kind of making assumptions about me

724. and why I shouldn't go for it.

725. Oh, wow.

726. (laughs): Well...

727. I'm really happy you didn't listen to 'em.

728. Me, too.

729. Mm.

730. Um, I can't give you a goodbye hug right now

731. 'cause they're all still watching.

732. - Oh. Okay. - But, um...

733. I'm gonna give you a mind hug, okay?

734. A mind hug?

735. - Oh. - Mm.

736. - Aw. - Do you feel it?

737. - (laughs softly) - Yeah, I do feel it.

738. It's very warm.

739. - Yeah. - Yeah.

740. Okay.

741. Bye, Meg.

742. Bye. Bye, Emma.

743. - Thanks, big dawg. - Oh, bye, Elz.

744. - Bye, Megan. - Bye, Mike.

745. - Bye, Meg. - Bye, Gata.

746. - Bye, Dave. - Bye, Meg.

747. - Hey, Dave. - Oh.

748. Sorry. Um... (clears throat)

749. I just wanted to say that, um,

750. I listened to some of your music,

751. and I don't normally like rap, but I loved your shit.

752. (exhales) Cool, man. Thank you.

753. Yeah. It's just fucking cool

754. to hear someone who's proud to be white.

755. You know?

756. - Uh... - Like that song "White Guy."

757. That song slaps, dude.

758. (chuckles) Well...

759. You know, I think you might be misinterpreting,

760. like, the premise of the song.

761. It's kind of, uh...

762. Nah, nah, nah. I get it, I get it, I get it.

763. Just know that me and the boys are gonna be bumping it

764. all summer.

765. Anyway... stay blessed, brother.