1. Don't worry, it'll be fine.Copy !req
2. - Okay. Let's lie down
after all that.Copy !req
3. - Ah. Take the load off.Copy !req
4. Get in here.Copy !req
5. - Oh.Copy !req
6. - Wow.
- Okay.Copy !req
7. I fucked Lil Dicky.Copy !req
8. I promise you, bro.
You cannot get a STDCopy !req
9. going in the pussy raw
for only ten seconds.Copy !req
10. Who says it was ten seconds?Copy !req
11. It could've been ten,
it could've been 48.Copy !req
12. I have no idea.
I fucked the condom off my dickCopy !req
13. trying to give her this, like,
rock star style sexCopy !req
14. that I assume
she wants out of me.Copy !req
15. You are a rock star.
This your first tour.Copy !req
16. You're supposed to go hard.Copy !req
17. That's the whole issue,
in my opinion.Copy !req
18. I feel like all of these girls
just want to fuck Lil Dicky.Copy !req
19. Is it really a crime
to want someone who wantsCopy !req
20. to fall in love with...Copy !req
21. - the real Dave?
- Bro, you got to think
about her needs.Copy !req
22. She got her nails done,
she got her outfit.Copy !req
23. She told all her friends.Copy !req
24. It's gonna be the highlight
of her year.Copy !req
25. You got to beat
the pussy up, bro.Copy !req
26. But I don't even...
I don't fuck like this.Copy !req
27. That's not how I fuck,
Gata, okay?Copy !req
28. I-I do this. It's more...
It's rhythmic.Copy !req
29. Man, that shit look
complicated, man.Copy !req
30. Complicated? It's so simple.
It's missionary.Copy !req
31. Hi.Copy !req
32. You're just gonna
bust those open, bruh?Copy !req
33. - You ain't gonna
pay for them first?
- I'm gonna pay for 'em.Copy !req
34. - Just chill out.Copy !req
35. Y'all find everything okay?Copy !req
36. Yeah.
Oh.Copy !req
37. I'm sorry.Copy !req
38. You guys have condoms here?Copy !req
39. It's the same condoms
everywhere.Copy !req
40. Why don't they make, like,Copy !req
41. smaller condoms
for the smaller dicks?Copy !req
42. Like, they make Magnums
for, like, big-dicked men.Copy !req
43. I feel like the condom
would stay on the dick easierCopy !req
44. if it was smaller sometimes.Copy !req
45. If you're that concerned
about STDs,Copy !req
46. why don't you just use
the Scroguard, bro,Copy !req
47. that Mike got you—
that plastic diaper shit?Copy !req
48. Uh, that's private business.
Don't talk about it.Copy !req
49. I don't know what he's talking
about, but he's not dangerous.Copy !req
50. - You crazy, man.
- They know I'm joking.Copy !req
51. Man, they got the
Confederate flag in there, bro.Copy !req
52. - It's the Texas flag.Copy !req
53. Looked pretty Confederate
to me, man. Hey, Cliff.Copy !req
54. I got the goods.Copy !req
55. - Ooh.
- Pistachios, but I can't...Copy !req
56. - For you.
- Merci.Copy !req
57. - They break my teeth, man.
- For you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
58. - You want to smoke this?
- All right, man. It's hot.Copy !req
59. - Uh, I'll take a hit, I guess.Copy !req
60. You just wet m
y fucking blunt.
You're fucking nasty.Copy !req
61. I'm gonna get some color.Copy !req
62. Racist.Copy !req
63. No disrespect.Copy !req
64. Trying to burn off the bacteria?Copy !req
65. I'm just not built for this.Copy !req
66. I can't be, like,
the rapper who goes aroundCopy !req
67. and fucks every night.
That's not my thing.Copy !req
68. But I'm trying
to rewire my brainCopy !req
69. so I can actually
have fun for once.Copy !req
70. You've been stressed.
You've been working so hard.Copy !req
71. I know. And tour is just
the one time in lifeCopy !req
72. - where there's no album
to hand in.
- Yup.Copy !req
73. There's no songs to make.
I can just be freeCopy !req
74. - and live life to the F.
- Yup.Copy !req
75. It's exactly like the time
I was up in the air. It was oneCopy !req
76. - of those moments...
- This has nothing
to do with skydiving.Copy !req
77. This has everything
to do with skydiving, David.Copy !req
78. - Nothing to do...
- No, when you'reCopy !req
79. hurtling toward the earthCopy !req
80. at 120 miles an hour,Copy !req
81. you're reaching max veloce,
it's incredible.Copy !req
82. And the chute doesn't open,
you start to freak out,Copy !req
83. but that's when you learn.
You learn, David.Copy !req
84. - When the instructor kisses you
- Mm.Copy !req
85. on the small of your neck,
and he says, "I'm sorry!"Copy !req
86. that's when you learn to let go.Copy !req
87. I desperately crave
a genuine romantic connection.Copy !req
88. Like, I need to fall in love.
That's just who I am.Copy !req
89. - Well, maybe you shouldn't
hook up with your fans anymore.
- Okay.Copy !req
90. Maybe you shouldn't...
We don't need thisCopy !req
91. - for the documentary, okay?
- Yeah, we do.Copy !req
92. Don't tell me what to do
with my documentary.Copy !req
93. Uh, I don't
want this footage, Emma.Copy !req
94. You don't know what
you're gonna use.Copy !req
95. Get different stuff.Copy !req
96. I can't listen
to this another time.
It's exhilarating.Copy !req
97. But what I'm saying is when
you're plummeting towardsCopy !req
98. - the earth at terminal velocity,
God, I get it.Copy !req
99. the earth feels like
it's gonna swallow you whole.Copy !req
100. It's so scary, dude,
but you live.Copy !req
101. I love this story. He's still
telling the story, huh?Copy !req
102. Yeah.
- Hey, LD, what's them islandsCopy !req
103. we going to on this tour?Copy !req
104. Uh, I don't know
the specifics, but...Copy !req
105. We going
to the Specifics, y'all.Copy !req
106. - Specifics.
- Huh. Um...Copy !req
107. - Are you performing tonight?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
108. Tonight's all about
my sweet baby G right here.Copy !req
109. Gata's night, baby.
- Big dog's night.
- Hey, Lubbock, TexasCopy !req
110. - ain't ready
for a nigga like me.
They're not.Copy !req
111. They never were. They never
were a day. They never will be.Copy !req
112. - That's what I do.
- Uh, that's what
you've been doing.Copy !req
113. - Big G!
- Gata.Copy !req
114. Aw, LD, do one song
with me, bro.Copy !req
115. No, thank you.Copy !req
116. It's my one night off.
Come on. I-I'm tryingCopy !req
117. - to blend into the background,
be a normal guy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
118. It's hard to meet your wife
when you're onstageCopy !req
119. - being the star.
- Well, some people sayCopy !req
120. - that's the easiest way
to meet your wife.
- Aw.Copy !req
121. You're with him every day?
How do you resist him?Copy !req
122. - Are you serious?
Look,Copy !req
123. I just want to know
if everyone's all inCopy !req
124. to have the best night
they can possibly have.Copy !req
125. 'Cause I need that type
of comradery...Copy !req
126. - Yeah.Copy !req
127. Yeah!Copy !req
128. Dicky! Dicky!Copy !req
129. - Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Oh, no, no, no. Gata.Copy !req
130. - Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Gata. Gata.Copy !req
131. - Dicky. Dicky.
- Thanks.Copy !req
132. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.Copy !req
133. I appreciate the love y'all got
for my boy Dicky, man.Copy !req
134. I've been trying to get him
out here on this stage tonight,Copy !req
135. but he on some
Carmen Sandiego type shit.Copy !req
136. Let's see if we can get him
on stage right now!Copy !req
137. LD! LD! LD!Copy !req
138. LD! LD!Copy !req
139. - LD! LD! LD! LD!Copy !req
140. What's your deal right now?
Why are you so lethargic?Copy !req
141. You just got sucked.Copy !req
142. Sloppy toppy, bro.Copy !req
143. Who sucked you?Copy !req
144. - I had to, man. You...
- Where?Copy !req
145. What does this...
Whatever, I don't care.Copy !req
146. Let's have fun tonight.
Do you want a drink?Copy !req
147. Honestly, bro,
I'm exhausted as fuck, bro.Copy !req
148. - I'm about to go lay down, dawg.
- You're leaving?Copy !req
149. - Yeah, man. Yeah.
- What about my night off?Copy !req
150. What about the plan
that-that you committed to?Copy !req
151. - Man, I'm going, gone.
- Gata.Copy !req
152. - You never honor the plan, man.
- Hey, text meCopy !req
153. when you get to the hotel.Copy !req
154. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
155. - Is this a good time?
- Yeah.Copy !req
156. Great, 'cause
I made something for you.Copy !req
157. - Oh, okay.
- Um...Copy !req
158. Oh, my God.Copy !req
159. It's you.Copy !req
160. - Oh, that's me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
161. - Oh, wow. It's so heavy.Copy !req
162. It's concrete, that's why.Copy !req
163. It's, like, sharp, too.Copy !req
164. - I'm kind of nervous.
- Don't be nervous.Copy !req
165. This is great.
You're doing great.Copy !req
166. - Hey. Oh.
- Oh.Copy !req
167. I appreciate this so much, okay?Copy !req
168. I'm such a big fan of yours.Copy !req
169. - Thank you.
- Um, I love Penith so much,Copy !req
170. and I'm really trying to break
into the industry, so...Copy !req
171. - Yeah.
- Ah, here I am.Copy !req
172. Well, let me tell you firsthand,Copy !req
173. things are surprisingly possible
in life, okay? Go for it.Copy !req
174. Wow.Copy !req
175. - Yeah.
- Thank you.Copy !req
176. - Sure.
- Lil Dicky, I love you.Copy !req
177. I love you, too, okay?
Be safe.Copy !req
178. - I never knew that.
- Yeah. All right.Copy !req
179. Fuck.
Oh, shit.Copy !req
180. You doing all right?Copy !req
181. What?Copy !req
182. Are you doing all right?Copy !req
183. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
184. Just a little statutory,
uh, issue I'm taking care of.Copy !req
185. Yeah, I'm just cleaning up
somebody else's mess.Copy !req
186. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
187. - How you doing?
- I'm good. I'm sor...Copy !req
188. I don't-I don't know you.Copy !req
189. Well, how could you?
We're just now meeting.Copy !req
190. No, I know, but I know you're,
like, a singer or something,Copy !req
191. - just here with
my friends, but I just...
- Oh.Copy !req
192. I've never heard of you.Copy !req
193. Honestly, I prefer that.Copy !req
194. Like, great. It's goodCopy !req
195. that you have a clean slate
on my personality.Copy !req
196. - Oh.
- Yeah, I'm a-I'm a rapper,
actually, not a singer.Copy !req
197. I do sing,
song-write, all that.Copy !req
198. Oh, you did that song
about being drunk.Copy !req
199. What was... what was it called?Copy !req
200. - It was...
- "I'm Drunk."Copy !req
201. Oh, yeah, well, I'm on my way.Copy !req
202. You... pig.Copy !req
203. I don't know.
So, what's your deal—Copy !req
204. you just go to live music venuesCopy !req
205. without even knowing who
the person is and you have fun?Copy !req
206. Wednesdays are like my Fridays.
I'm a nurse, so...Copy !req
207. - Ah. A nurse?
- Yeah. Had toCopy !req
208. come blow off some steam,
you know?Copy !req
209. I appreciate everything
you do, uh,Copy !req
210. behind the scenes
for all the sick.Copy !req
211. - Thank-thank you.
- Yeah. But okay,Copy !req
212. I can't go any further
without knowing your name,Copy !req
213. - so...
- Oh, it's Campbell.Copy !req
214. Campbell?Copy !req
215. Yeah, like the soup.Copy !req
216. That's a perfect name.Copy !req
217. - Thanks?
- Campbell,Copy !req
218. can I ask you a relatively
hard-hitting question?Copy !req
219. Yeah.Copy !req
220. What's your availabilityCopy !req
221. as far as being
hit on right now?Copy !req
222. Uh...Copy !req
223. Like, would you say you're
open-minded, or not at all?Copy !req
224. Uh...Copy !req
225. Yeah, I think I, uh... I'm...Copy !req
226. I'm definitely open to it.Copy !req
227. This is fun.Copy !req
228. People are actually crazy.Copy !req
229. They were literally
pouring tequila in their eyes.Copy !req
230. Like, why? I wish I had, like,
40 cameras. I keep missing shit.Copy !req
231. Just ask them to redo it.Copy !req
232. I can't do that for my doc.
It's not real.Copy !req
233. Real? None of this is real,
Emma. Are you crazy?Copy !req
234. - What...
- We're on tour right now.
Tour's not real.Copy !req
235. When we come to town, it's like
their version of the Super Bowl.Copy !req
236. Okay, Mr. Big Shot
Who's Been On Tour.Copy !req
237. Do you not understand
that white people act outCopy !req
238. when they see a camera?Copy !req
239. - What?
- Trust me. Come on.Copy !req
240. Wait...
- White boy summer!Copy !req
241. - White boy summer!
- White boy summer!Copy !req
242. Then I'm gonna continue
to smoke this joint, then.Copy !req
243. - All right.
- Oh, hi, man.Copy !req
244. LD!Copy !req
245. Thank you.Copy !req
246. Does that get annoying?Copy !req
247. It's just praise. It's...
All it is is praise.Copy !req
248. - Okay.
- But it's the life I chose.Copy !req
249. - Yeah.
- I always wanted
to be ubiquitous.Copy !req
250. Well, uh... good luck,
and you have a new fan,Copy !req
251. and I really hope
that you make it.Copy !req
252. - Get this out of here.Copy !req
253. You're saying goodbye?Copy !req
254. - Well...
- You're not about to leave.Copy !req
255. - Uh...
- You can't be. You're not gonnaCopy !req
256. let something like this
totally evaporate.Copy !req
257. No. No, no, no.
I'm engaged.Copy !req
258. - Oh, of course you are.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
259. No, no, no!
No, no, like...Copy !req
260. Like, I'm engaged
in the conversation.Copy !req
261. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
262. So, a bunch of us are gonna
go to my friend Connor's.Copy !req
263. He's having
a little get-together.Copy !req
264. - Oh.
- You want to come?Copy !req
265. 'Cause I like
hanging out with you.Copy !req
266. I like hanging out
with you so much.Copy !req
267. - All right.
- I do have a tour busCopy !req
268. - parked half a block away.
It's so charming.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
269. I'm-I'm not, like, a groupie.
I'm just a regular girl.Copy !req
270. Of course you are.
I respect that.Copy !req
271. - We'll go to... Connor's?
- Yeah, Connor.Copy !req
272. Okay. I have to grab something
off that bus.Copy !req
273. - Will you stay here?
- Yeah.Copy !req
274. Okay, because, in my opinion,
I feel as thoughCopy !req
275. this is what life is all about—
moments like this.Copy !req
276. - We'll figure it out.
We'll work on it.
- Okay. All right.Copy !req
277. You're getting ready
to have a blast,Copy !req
278. but you're not sure
about someone's sexual past.Copy !req
279. Part of the skin of
your genital area has a cover,Copy !req
280. but most is still exposed
to your lover.Copy !req
281. Not anymore.Copy !req
282. Now there's Scroguard.Copy !req
283. The powerful new product that
you can wear with any condom.Copy !req
284. The secret is
the high-quality premium latexCopy !req
285. that is thick enough
to cover your genital areaCopy !req
286. - but thin enough
to feel like a second skin.Copy !req
287. Just fasten any two buttonsCopy !req
288. securely into place,
and when you're ready...Copy !req
289. Hey, Dave...
Oh, shit!Copy !req
290. - Oh!
- Geez. Uh...
No shitting on the bus!Copy !req
291. No, I'm not-I'm not shitting!Copy !req
292. I'm just fixing my pants.Copy !req
293. I changed my underwear
'cause I met a girlCopy !req
294. and I was talking to her,
and I-I, like,Copy !req
295. soaked my first underwear
with pre-cum.Copy !req
296. - Okay.
- I-I met a girl.Copy !req
297. Uh, congratulations, man.
I'm happy for you.Copy !req
298. - Wish me luck.
- You deserve love, Dave.Copy !req
299. - No, this is honestly
my fault, uh...
- Anyway, anyway, okay.Copy !req
300. - It was like 3:00 a. m.,
and we're all, like
- Yeah.Copy !req
301. - Sure.
- drunk as piss,
and all of a sudden, we hear,Copy !req
302. like a "bang, bang, bang." Like,
Jurassic Park or something.Copy !req
303. - It was like...
- Oh, my God. What was it—
like, a rapist?Copy !req
304. No, no.
It was actually my goat.Copy !req
305. My goat got out of its pen.
It was, like, ramming its hornsCopy !req
306. - against the glass. Ramming...
- Wait, hold it. You have a goat?Copy !req
307. - Like, you're a goat owner?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
308. Yeah, I got a bunch of goats.Copy !req
309. You're, like, out of a fable.Copy !req
310. Hey, you're the fucking GOAT,
LD. Come on.Copy !req
311. - Hey, y'all, shut the fuck up!
- Thank you, bro.Copy !req
312. Sorry.
Don't even look at that.Copy !req
313. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- He's fine. Oh.Copy !req
314. - Get in here.Copy !req
315. Wow, you just broke
the touch barrier.Copy !req
316. - So nonchalantly,Copy !req
317. you're just gonna break it
like that, and not even... Wow.Copy !req
318. - I mean, someone had to.
- I'm totally on board
with it, FYI.Copy !req
319. - Um...
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
320. I have to pee.Copy !req
321. Yeah.
I understand that.Copy !req
322. I've had to pee in the past, and
you never know when it's coming.Copy !req
323. - Thank you. All right.
- Yeah. I'm right there with you.Copy !req
324. - Get all the piss out.
- All right.Copy !req
325. - I'll be right here. I'm great.
- Okay.Copy !req
326. I'm in heaven.Copy !req
327. What's up, man?Copy !req
328. Hey. You guys hanging?Copy !req
329. How you doing?
- Good.Copy !req
330. Hey, man, so...Copy !req
331. What?Copy !req
332. You like Ram?Copy !req
333. R-Ram?
Uh, do I like what?Copy !req
334. - Uh...
- What do you mean? Like the...Copy !req
335. - Like the processing power?
It's...Copy !req
336. the L. A. Rams.
Like, Los Angeles Rams.Copy !req
337. - Like, uh, football team.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
338. Is he okay, or is he on,
like, Oxys or something?Copy !req
339. No, no. I mean...
- Is this Appalachia
that we're in?Copy !req
340. 'Cause I know all about the
opioid crisis that you probablyCopy !req
341. have to deal
with at every moment.Copy !req
342. I've got molly,
if you want some.Copy !req
343. Oh. No, thanks.Copy !req
344. It's, like, dark purple.Copy !req
345. I'm okay.Copy !req
346. I don't even understand the
color spectrum of molly, but...Copy !req
347. - What's your name?
We haven't met.
- Grace.Copy !req
348. - You... Race?
- Hey, are you hiring,
by the way, LD?Copy !req
349. - No.
- Um, I majored
in-in golf course management.Copy !req
350. - Uh-huh.
- Um, but there's a lotCopy !req
351. - of crossover between the two.
- Yeah, I thinkCopy !req
352. you're better off on the greens
there, 'cause, like,Copy !req
353. - we're just so fully staffed.
- No, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
354. Yeah.Copy !req
355. Um, normally,Copy !req
356. like, shit's like way
more popping, you know? Like...Copy !req
357. - No.
- It's pretty low-key,
'cause it's Wednesday nightCopy !req
358. - and shit, and, like...
- All good. All G.Copy !req
359. But, yo, like, normally,
we're playing, like,Copy !req
360. Mancala or, like,
Cards Against Humanity,Copy !req
361. - or, like, fucking...
- Sure.Copy !req
362. - If you came back, like, on a...
- Yeah.Copy !req
363. No, don't... No presh, man.
I'm, like, just happy to be...Copy !req
364. I'm honestly here
'cause of Campbell.Copy !req
365. - Bro.
- Yeah.Copy !req
366. I heard
her pussy's a straight-up V.Copy !req
367. I... Yeah, I believe you. Um...Copy !req
368. Hey, you know what? Fuck it.
Hey, Hey, Travis!Copy !req
369. Hey, fire that shit up!
We're playing Hot Seat, bitch.Copy !req
370. - What are we doing?Copy !req
371. It's a prank phone call-
based game?Copy !req
372. - Mm-hmm. Shh.
- How often do you play it?Copy !req
373. All right. All right.Copy !req
374. Hello?
- Hey.Copy !req
375. I'm... I'm with your brother.Copy !req
376. Wait, Tim's with you?
He okay?Copy !req
377. - He's OD'ing.
- Oh, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck!Copy !req
378. Did you call 911?Copy !req
379. Yeah, but they can't...Copy !req
380. Come on.
- revive... Aah!Copy !req
381. - It's the hot seat! Fuck!Copy !req
382. Okay, I'm gonna
get another drink.Copy !req
383. - Where you going?Copy !req
384. - I'm getting another drink.
Hurry back.
- Hey, LD.Copy !req
385. Wait. You probably got all sortsCopy !req
386. of celebs and shit
in your phone.Copy !req
387. - Wait. I...Copy !req
388. Come on.Copy !req
389. Alfonso Ribeiro?Copy !req
390. That a pasta?Copy !req
391. Carlton? That doesn't mean
anything when I say it? Carlton?Copy !req
392. All right, all right, all right.
LD, come on. It's your turn.Copy !req
393. - Oh, no. I'm...
- Come on. Get on that hot seat,Copy !req
394. - for old times' sake.
- You...Copy !req
395. Let me watch how you...Copy !req
396. Fuck you.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
397. - Wow. What?
Okay.Copy !req
398. So you're really not
gonna kiss me right now?Copy !req
399. Why-why would you think that?
It's crazy of you.Copy !req
400. - Campbell, would you
come out here?Copy !req
401. Your friends are getting
a little dicey.Copy !req
402. - Oh.
- Need you back here.Copy !req
403. Fuck. She blew it.Copy !req
404. - What do you mean?
- I mean, fucking passed out.Copy !req
405. - No, she's not.
Yeah.Copy !req
406. I'm drunk.Copy !req
407. - She's drunk.
Guns up!Copy !req
408. Guns up!
Guns up, motherfuckers!Copy !req
409. Aw, that sucks. Her mission
was to fuck you tonight.Copy !req
410. Wait, what do
you mean,
you said it was her mission?Copy !req
411. - Like, going into the night?
- Yeah.Copy !req
412. Then why did she tell me
when I met herCopy !req
413. that she had never heard
of Lil Dicky?Copy !req
414. - Oh, is that what she told you?Copy !req
415. She probably just said thatCopy !req
416. 'cause she's watched
all your interviews.Copy !req
417. She knows that's
what you want to hear.Copy !req
418. She's a die-hard. I mean,
she knew what to tell you.Copy !req
419. Okay.
I'm-I'm gonna leave.Copy !req
420. No, no, no, no, no.
No, come on, man. No, no, no.Copy !req
421. - Yeah.
- LD, no. There's a bunch
of people still coming.Copy !req
422. This shit's just
getting started.Copy !req
423. - Come on.
- It's so late.
We leave tomorrow.Copy !req
424. This is literally the best night
of my entire life, man.Copy !req
425. That's... Really?Copy !req
426. Yes.Copy !req
427. Uh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
428. Or congrat...Copy !req
429. I don't know what
to say to that.Copy !req
430. Tell us what it's like.Copy !req
431. Just tell us what
it's really, really like.Copy !req
432. - It's not like anything, man.
Yeah, man,Copy !req
433. do the girls just
fap for you, nonstop?Copy !req
434. Fap?Copy !req
435. - All right, sit down.
Okay. All right.Copy !req
436. - You guys want
to know what it's like.
- Oh, fuck, yeah.Copy !req
437. I'll tell you
what it's really like. Yeah.Copy !req
438. Here's what it's like.
I go around AmericaCopy !req
439. and I meet people like you,
and every single time,Copy !req
440. they look at me exactly the wayCopy !req
441. you guys are staring
at me right now.Copy !req
442. It's weird. And people
have preconceived notionsCopy !req
443. about the way that I behave,
about the way that I fuck.Copy !req
444. I feel that.Copy !req
445. Fucking ain't easy, broham.Copy !req
446. Not easy at all. I've had so
many insane sexual encounters.Copy !req
447. And truthfully, the thing
that I want the mostCopy !req
448. is incredibly simple, but
I could never really ask for it.Copy !req
449. What?Copy !req
450. So, my dick is shaped
like a manatee.Copy !req
451. In the sense that, like,
you know how, like,Copy !req
452. the manatee is...
have, like, a bendCopy !req
453. and, like, a...
So my dick is bent.Copy !req
454. The thing that
satisfies me most in lifeCopy !req
455. is when that bend
simply gets straightened.Copy !req
456. There's no STD threat
whatsoever.Copy !req
457. It's truly my heaven on Earth,
but I could never ask for thatCopy !req
458. because it's so weird,Copy !req
459. and the women would
tell all their friends.Copy !req
460. But that wouldn't happen
with my soulmate.Copy !req
461. I'm looking for love.Copy !req
462. I'm looking for my wife, okay?Copy !req
463. - Hey, let us see your dick.Copy !req
464. No.
But you asked me what it's like.Copy !req
465. It's not even that interesting.Copy !req
466. - It's actually...
- Come on, Dicky.Copy !req
467. - Come on.
- Uh... I love it.Copy !req
468. Hey, come on, Lil Dicky.Copy !req
469. Come on, Lil Dicky, come on.Copy !req
470. Let me see it.Copy !req
471. You always talk all this shitCopy !req
472. about your dick,Copy !req
473. but you never
show it to anybody.Copy !req
474. - Come on, Lil Dicky.
- Come on!Copy !req
475. - Show us your fucking dick!
- Come on!
- Come on!Copy !req
476. - Show us your fucking dick!Copy !req
477. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
478. A diaper?Copy !req
479. No, uh... It's, uh,Copy !req
480. it's called the Scroguard.
It's, uh...Copy !req
481. Look it up on YouTube. It's the
funniest thing you'll ever see.Copy !req
482. It's, like, STD prevention,Copy !req
483. but, like, the comedy version.Copy !req
484. - Show us your dick, Lil Dicky!Copy !req
485. - Oh...Copy !req
486. Connor?Copy !req
487. Who's that?Copy !req
488. Yo, they're all in there.
They're still chillin'.Copy !req
489. Lil Dicky!Copy !req
490. Turn around!Copy !req
491. - It's him, it's him!
It's him, it's him!Copy !req
492. Hey, motherfucker. What
the fuck are you thinking, boy?Copy !req
493. Whoa! Hey! Stand your ground!
Stand your ground!Copy !req
494. - What?
- I'm standing my ground!Copy !req
495. You stand your ground, I'm
standing mine, so no reason!Copy !req
496. - That ain't how it works.
- Uh...Copy !req
497. Lil Dicky! I'm Lil Dicky!Copy !req
498. Please don't, please just...Copy !req
499. - Lil Dicky?
- Yeah.Copy !req
500. - The rapper?
- Yeah! Yes!Copy !req
501. The rapper. That's me.
I'm, uh, I'm here.Copy !req
502. - So, I got to use
your phone, it's...
- No, you ain't.Copy !req
503. Yes, I am. What do you mean
I'm not? Of co... Uh, uh...Copy !req
504. Obviously this is...
Look at the situation, man.Copy !req
505. Can't you tell by my posture?Copy !req
506. Prove it.Copy !req
507. Prove it. Uh...Copy !req
508. What's that?Copy !req
509. Like... Or...Copy !req
510. It's...
You-you know it's me.Copy !req
511. Please, I got to use
your phone, man.Copy !req
512. Aren't you a "gayman?"Copy !req
513. You...Copy !req
514. I couldn't hear what you said.Copy !req
515. Aren't you a "gayman?"Copy !req
516. Like the dinosaur lizard?Copy !req
517. Nah, like aren't you a faggot?Copy !req
518. Oh. I don't know exactly
how you're using that word,Copy !req
519. but I suspect that depending on
how you define it,Copy !req
520. that, like...Copy !req
521. like, to an extent, yeah, yes.Copy !req
522. Tom, what's going on out there?Copy !req
523. I'll be there in a minute, Pat.Copy !req
524. Hey!Copy !req
525. Hello?Copy !req
526. Mike. Oh, thank God
you picked up.Copy !req
527. I need you to come
grab me right now.Copy !req
528. - You're in room 207.
- No, no.Copy !req
529. - I'm not at the hotel. Uh...
- Where are you?Copy !req
530. Thank you so much
for everything. I appreciate it.Copy !req
531. - Hello?
I don't knowCopy !req
532. how to explain it to you,
but you justCopy !req
533. got to come get me
right now, okay?Copy !req
534. Are you all right?
Where are you, man?Copy !req
535. I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm at, uh,Copy !req
536. 4218 Fannin Boulevard.
Okay?Copy !req
537. - Yeah, no problem, man.
I'll be there soon.Copy !req
538. - Thank you, Mike. Thank you.
- Just got to get upCopy !req
539. and get dressed.Copy !req
540. You know, I'm always
losing one sock.Copy !req
541. - Wha... Mike?
- Yeah?Copy !req
542. Uh, bring a couple
hundred bucks.Copy !req
543. You'll see, like, when
the dick's fully blooded,Copy !req
544. there's, like,
a little bit of a bend.Copy !req
545. My ideal way for this to happen
is if you take that bendCopy !req
546. and you just simply
straighten it.Copy !req
547. Uh, the bend, and if you
just take the bendCopy !req
548. and you straighten
and then just wait.Copy !req
549. No, no, no, no mueva.Copy !req
550. Yeah, uh, do
you know what
a manatee is? Manatee.Copy !req
551. Manatee, the sea. Sea.Copy !req
552. Manatee?Copy !req
553. I am an animal. I am.
We're all a...Copy !req
554. I am an animal.
You know what?Copy !req
555. - No...
- We-we don't-we don't
even have to...Copy !req
556. - We don't have to do it.
- No. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
557. - I'm okay. Okay.Copy !req
558. It's totally cool.Copy !req
559. Oh, so... Oh.Copy !req
560. Yeah. Just s-still.Copy !req
561. Uh-huh.Copy !req