1. Previously on danger 5...Copy !req
2. You took those photos
to get back at khrushchev?Copy !req
3. Aaagh!Copy !req
4. Game's up, my friend!
Drop the wiener!Copy !req
5. Sonofabitch!Copy !req
6. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
7. Hitler has possessed HollyCopy !req
8. and now I think he's messing with
the space-time continuum!Copy !req
9. Quickly, friends! Take a drink!Copy !req
10. We're going back in time!Copy !req
11. Goal!Copy !req
12. Hmm.Copy !req
13. Ma perche...?
Ma che cosa...?Copy !req
14. Hoo-hoo!Copy !req
15. Ugh!Copy !req
16. It worked.
We're back in world war ii.Copy !req
17. What the hell did you put in
that time travel cocktail, Pierre?Copy !req
18. Mozzarella! You can't
go back in time without cheese!Copy !req
19. No! don't shoot!Copy !req
20. Shut up! Shut up!Copy !req
21. It's the space-time continuum.Copy !req
22. Anything we alter here, in the past,
can change the future.Copy !req
23. So, we can't shoot Nazis?
No.Copy !req
24. We can't shoot Nazis?
Heil Hitler!Copy !req
25. Nein! Nein! Nein!Copy !req
26. Aaagh!Copy !req
27. Aaagh! Aaagh!Copy !req
28. My neck! Oh! The continuum!Copy !req
29. The continuum, my friend!
The continuum!Copy !req
30. Whoa, whoa! Easy, pal. Easy, easy.
Let me see, let me see.Copy !req
31. Oh, your neck is fine!Copy !req
32. There's nothing there!Copy !req
33. You're cool! Be cool!Copy !req
34. Calm down, you silly Billy.Copy !req
35. Just listen to me, my friends.Copy !req
36. Hitler possessed Holly. He has
come back here to alter the future.Copy !req
37. And we have to stop and make sure we
don't alter the future in the process.Copy !req
38. Huh?Copy !req
39. Ohh!Copy !req
40. Alright, we were here before!Copy !req
41. This is the last Christmas
of the war!Copy !req
42. The mission was
to rescue the colonel.Copy !req
43. We flew the danger zeppelin with
the deluxe danger rocket attachment.Copy !req
44. While I took care of the guards.Copy !req
45. Then we freed the colonel and
discovered the cocktail waterfall!Copy !req
46. Hey! I forgot about the waterfall!Copy !req
47. We all got so drunk!Copy !req
48. Wait! That means Claire's here!Copy !req
49. I'll see her again!Copy !req
50. Oh, no, no, don't get
any ideas, Tucker.Copy !req
51. All we have to do is capture Holly -
uh, Hitler Holly -Copy !req
52. and return to the future
before any damage is done.Copy !req
53. Da... yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
54. No! No!Copy !req
55. don't touch anything,Copy !req
56. don't talk to anyone,
don't shoot any more NazisCopy !req
57. and don't do anything foolish
like talk to your past self.Copy !req
58. Yes. You're right, Pierre.Copy !req
59. It would be foolish of me
to embrace this opportunityCopy !req
60. to see my wife alive again...Copy !req
61. .. Or to hold her...Copy !req
62. ..To kiss her.Copy !req
63. Mmm! Ah-ha-ha!Copy !req
64. No, no, no! Tucker!Copy !req
65. Stop Holly before
she ruins the future!Copy !req
66. Merry Christmas, my friends.
We come, bearing gifts!Copy !req
67. That little girl
looks and sounds like Hitler.Copy !req
68. And it looks like she's packin'
some sort of heat.Copy !req
69. Aaaaaaagh!Copy !req
70. Nice shot, my friend, huh?Copy !req
71. Alright, team.Copy !req
72. Let's go rescue the colonel.Copy !req
73. Your plan is as repulsive as
this vegetarian cuttlefish, Hitler.Copy !req
74. Oh... ah...Copy !req
75. Ohh...Copy !req
76. Huh?Copy !req
77. Ha!Copy !req
78. Toodle-oo! That'll do.Copy !req
79. Hmm-hmm-hmm!
Stop it, Tucker!Copy !req
80. You're doing irreversible damage
to the fabric of time!Copy !req
81. And my mind!
I'm sorry, Pierre.Copy !req
82. But I'm in love!
Claire, I'm coming for you!Copy !req
83. Aaagh...Copy !req
84. Merry Christmas, Pierre!Copy !req
85. Aaagh!Copy !req
86. Aaaaaaagh!Copy !req
87. Oh... No, no, it's me!Copy !req
88. The continuum!
It's ok, my friend. Come.Copy !req
89. Join the Christmas luau, huh?Copy !req
90. Aaaagh!Copy !req
91. Oh.
Huh?Copy !req
92. It looks like trouble.Copy !req
93. Only Americans drink the nog.Copy !req
94. Go, go, danger net pack!Copy !req
95. No, not the net pack!Copy !req
96. Freeze, you kraut bastards!Copy !req
97. Sigaretu? Hmm?Copy !req
98. Huh?Copy !req
99. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
100. Let go of me, you brute!Copy !req
101. Let go of you, you brute!Copy !req
102. Claire.Copy !req
103. Ha! En garde, kaltenbrunner!Copy !req
104. Oh!Copy !req
105. Oh...
Off with your toupee!Copy !req
106. Ahh! Ohh! No!Copy !req
107. It burns!Copy !req
108. Are you ready for prime time?
What's that?Copy !req
109. It's when I show you my stiffy.Copy !req
110. Oh!Copy !req
111. Not so fast, you Nazi pastie!Copy !req
112. I'll save you, Claire.
Tucker!Copy !req
113. There's only room in the world
for one Tucker.Copy !req
114. Ohh!Copy !req
115. Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
116. Oh, wunderbar! Wunderbar!Copy !req
117. Excellent! Excellent shooting.Copy !req
118. Lieutenant, would you care
to join us in the dungeonCopy !req
119. to, uh, unwrap this
tasty little Christmas present?Copy !req
120. Yes.
Yes.Copy !req
121. Yes, I would.Copy !req
122. This is the best Christmas miracle
a man could wish for.Copy !req
123. A visit from my future self.Copy !req
124. No, no, I can't be talking to you.Copy !req
125. I could be totally ducking up
the continuum.Copy !req
126. How did you know
I was from the future?Copy !req
127. Hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy, my future friend, huh?Copy !req
128. Here.Copy !req
129. Have a drink of
some Honolulu lullaby.Copy !req
130. Drink.Copy !req
131. Man, that's a tasty drink!Copy !req
132. And nothing bad
seems to be happening.Copy !req
133. Mm. Yeah.Copy !req
134. Maybe a little partying
with my past selfCopy !req
135. won't hurt the continuum after all.Copy !req
136. Hey... This calls
for a celebration!Copy !req
137. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
138. Hey. What is that?Copy !req
139. It's the future!Copy !req
140. Play.Copy !req
141. Uh... hmm.Copy !req
142. Let me get this straight -
you guys came back from the futureCopy !req
143. to stop an invincible girl,
possessed by Hitler,Copy !req
144. from changing the future?Copy !req
145. That means we don't
kill Hitler, right?Copy !req
146. Yeah, but we got more important
things to worry about.Copy !req
147. More important?
What's more important than...?Copy !req
148. You gotta do something about Ilsa
while you still have a chance.Copy !req
149. Do something?
Like... what do you mean?Copy !req
150. You gotta man up and move in,
before she goes 100% commie.Copy !req
151. And tell her how you feel.Copy !req
152. Tell her how I feel?
Yeah.Copy !req
153. Feelings? What - do I become
some sort of fruit in the future?Copy !req
154. Mm.Copy !req
155. Shit! Shit!Copy !req
156. Aagh!Copy !req
157. Get the hell down, man! Go!Copy !req
158. Go, go!Copy !req
159. Go, go, go! Get in the hole!Copy !req
160. Stop working so fast, kaltenbrunner.Copy !req
161. Can't you see I want her to cower
at the terror of my 40 chickens?Copy !req
162. We agreed on the bricking, Ali baba.Copy !req
163. Anyway, I only count eight chickens.Copy !req
164. Alas, many chicken fell
on the journeyCopy !req
165. from Damascus to aqaba.Copy !req
166. But what if we entomb her
with these?Copy !req
167. Yes! Think of the honey!Copy !req
168. Hey! I love honey!Copy !req
169. What you think about
that, lieutenant?Copy !req
170. Ugh!Copy !req
171. The jokes on you, kaltenbrunner.Copy !req
172. An imposter! Quick, chicken!
Protect the gold!Copy !req
173. Oh, man!Copy !req
174. Ice-cream?Copy !req
175. Oh... Because the cow is cold.
Yes!Copy !req
176. Very clever.
Tucker?Copy !req
177. Now that we're married,
you can have it all!Copy !req
178. Ahh!Copy !req
179. Birds! Bla... aah...Copy !req
180. Splendid job. Now, come on,
let's go rescue the colonel.Copy !req
181. I don't think the million-dollar
danger-gator is expensive enoughCopy !req
182. to blow up dog mountain.Copy !req
183. Just shoot, already!Copy !req
184. You guys would have won the war
three times over by nowCopy !req
185. if you shot your guns off
as much as your damn mouths!Copy !req
186. Aagh! Aagh!Copy !req
187. Aaaagh!Copy !req
188. Aaagh!Copy !req
189. That oughta seal it up.Copy !req
190. I could do that. I could do that.
I can do...Copy !req
191. Whoa.Copy !req
192. Ha!Copy !req
193. Aah...
Avalanche!Copy !req
194. Noooo!Copy !req
195. Whoo!Copy !req
196. Man, you just can't getCopy !req
197. waterfall-fresh cocktails
like this in the future.Copy !req
198. It just needs, uh, you know,Copy !req
199. a little bit of relish.Copy !req
200. Whoa!Copy !req
201. Mmm!Copy !req
202. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
203. What's the big idea?Copy !req
204. don't be mouthin' me!Copy !req
205. You should be mouthin' him!Copy !req
206. Ilsa, what...?Copy !req
207. Old?Copy !req
208. Damaged?Copy !req
209. Why would Hitler be keeping the
colonel in this... romantic bedroom?Copy !req
210. You must be... worn out
from all that torture, Claire.Copy !req
211. Mm!Copy !req
212. Why don't you, uh, make yourself
comfortable on this, uh, bed?Copy !req
213. Oh, lovey-dovey. Ohh!Copy !req
214. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
215. I just... know how much
you like roses.Copy !req
216. No, I don't.
I... can't stand the smell.Copy !req
217. Oh... yes, you're right!Copy !req
218. Ooh, stop beating around the bush,
Tucker, Tucker!Copy !req
219. Just say it!Copy !req
220. Claire, I want to
show you something.Copy !req
221. Have you found sensitive dossiers?Copy !req
222. No.Copy !req
223. Are you ready for... prime time?Copy !req
224. Hmm. What's prime time?Copy !req
225. It's, uh... .. When I
show you my stiffy.Copy !req
226. Speak up, Tucker!
Stiffy!Copy !req
227. Oh!
Aah!Copy !req
228. Can't you see I'm trying to
foreplay you, Claire?Copy !req
229. Tucker, you're acting like a man!Copy !req
230. It's Christmas, Claire,
and I'm going to intercourse you -Copy !req
231. no two ways about it.Copy !req
232. Two-way intercourse?
Mmm!Copy !req
233. Ohh!
Mmm!Copy !req
234. Claire? How could you?Copy !req
235. Two tuckers?Copy !req
236. My god.Copy !req
237. You're me.Copy !req
238. Yes. From the future.Copy !req
239. And I'm a Nazi?Copy !req
240. Goodbye, Claire.
No!Copy !req
241. Yes, do it! There's only room
in the world for one Tucker.Copy !req
242. You're right.
Ohhh!Copy !req
243. I can't wait for the future.Copy !req
244. I love this synth!Copy !req
245. This telephone!Copy !req
246. These computer disks!Copy !req
247. These...! Hey, what are these?Copy !req
248. Uh, cheer-up movies!Copy !req
249. I love cheer-up movies!Copy !req
250. Aaaagh!Copy !req
251. Aagh! Aaagh!Copy !req
252. Stop it, tuckers!Copy !req
253. Run, Pierre! The future people
have come to get us!Copy !req
254. Sure!
Uh, no, they are our friends.Copy !req
255. Two tuckers? Two pierres?Copy !req
256. Where's Ilsa and Jackson and... me?Copy !req
257. You're right here.Copy !req
258. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
259. Oh!Copy !req
260. If you don't come away
with me, Claire,Copy !req
261. then this will be your fate!Copy !req
262. Ohh!
Now...Copy !req
263. Stop being a flannel
and let's live happily ever after.Copy !req
264. Tucker, you've had your Claire.
You can't have another one!Copy !req
265. "Why try future marmalade
on your crumpetCopy !req
266. "when... present marmalade
does the job just fine?" I say.Copy !req
267. Oh, leave me alone!Copy !req
268. Tucker, we've been consumed by
the temptations of time travelCopy !req
269. and forgotten the real reason
we're here.Copy !req
270. I thought you were here to party.
Yes! Uh... no.Copy !req
271. Wait. No.Copy !req
272. Hitler has come back from the future
to change the world.Copy !req
273. And if we do not stop him,
then we may never exist!Copy !req
274. We should fight them together!Copy !req
275. Yes!
I won't work with
these murderous future scoundrels!Copy !req
276. Hear, hear.Copy !req
277. Come on, my friends, huh?Copy !req
278. It's Christmas.Copy !req
279. Yes!
Yeah.Copy !req
280. Oh... Oh... alright, then.Copy !req
281. Oh-ho-ho! Yes!
Yeah!Copy !req
282. Oh!Copy !req
283. Wow!Copy !req
284. Merry Christmas, everyone!Copy !req
285. Cheers. Cheers.
Oh, hey, hey, stop!Copy !req
286. We've done it again!
We're supposed to be killing Hitler!Copy !req
287. Come on, Pierre.Copy !req
288. One more waterfall-fresh
Shirley temple.Copy !req
289. No!
Yes!Copy !req
290. Sorry, my friend. I thought
he was talking to me!Copy !req
291. I thought he was talking to me!Copy !req
292. 'Cause we are the same...Copy !req
293. Let's go win some war.Copy !req
294. Yeah!Copy !req
295. Hey? Hey, you?
Huh? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
296. I'm on your side. I'm a spy.Copy !req
297. Spy?
Look.Copy !req
298. Huh? Uh...Copy !req
299. Oh!Copy !req
300. Aaagh!Copy !req
301. Ahh!Copy !req
302. Shut up, leanne!Copy !req
303. I don't wanna go to school!Copy !req
304. Hey.Copy !req
305. Where am I?Copy !req
306. There's that shiny piece of shrimp!Copy !req
307. This one! Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
308. No, Hitler. I have the power.Copy !req
309. Sit... down... you!Copy !req
310. Huh? Oh...Copy !req
311. Damn it.Copy !req
312. Now original Hitler is invincible.Copy !req
313. He's won! Shit!Copy !req
314. We need a Christmas miracle.Copy !req
315. And we need it fast.
This place is falling apart.Copy !req
316. Claire, do you still have...?Copy !req
317. Claire?Copy !req
318. We're here to rescue you, colonel.Copy !req
319. No, naive Pierre.Copy !req
320. Get down, Claire. Get down.Copy !req
321. Get down!Copy !req
322. No!Copy !req
323. No!Copy !req
324. Aaagh!Copy !req
325. No! Aaagh! Aah!Copy !req
326. We're still here, right?Copy !req
327. Are you alright, my friends?
Do you feel like you don't exist?Copy !req
328. No.
Uh, me neither.Copy !req
329. I, uh, feel pretty good.Copy !req
330. Then the continuum was bull-fish!Copy !req
331. Not so fast, Johnny!Copy !req
332. I'm putting you in detention!Copy !req
333. Aaaagh!Copy !req
334. Nice one, my friend!Copy !req
335. Whoa! Whoa-whoa!Copy !req
336. More like gun power.Copy !req
337. Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh!Copy !req
338. I'm so sorry, Claire.Copy !req
339. I suppose this means...Copy !req
340. ..I'm just not meant to have you.Copy !req
341. Here, take this, in case you get
peckish in the afterlife.Copy !req
342. I'm sorry, colonel.Copy !req
343. We came from the future
to stop this from happening.Copy !req
344. Nice work, you migrant.Copy !req
345. Yes, Ilsa.Copy !req
346. I think it's safe to assume
Hitler is proper dead.Copy !req
347. Adolf dead-ler.Copy !req
348. Yes. I like
the sound of that.Copy !req
349. Ohhh! Just get me
the hell out of here!Copy !req
350. Lucky I brought extra mozzarella.Copy !req
351. Here, take one.
Yes, here, one for you!Copy !req
352. Here, Tucker, Jackson.Copy !req
353. Wait!Copy !req
354. Can we spare an extra drink...Copy !req
355. .. For the colonel?Copy !req
356. don't be a prawn cracker, Tucker!Copy !req
357. Now you're gone, I'm gonna get
all the credit for winning the war!Copy !req
358. Now, Nick off,
before you ruin it somehow!Copy !req
359. To the future!Copy !req
360. Yeah!
Ugh!Copy !req
361. Ohh...Copy !req
362. Ohhh!Copy !req
363. Hey, hey!Copy !req
364. Smells like our original time line.Copy !req
365. We're home!Copy !req
366. Yeah!Copy !req
367. Yeah! Fast-food joint! Bonus!Copy !req
368. Let's go pat that horse!Copy !req
369. I'll take five guacamole wieners
and an extra medium cheese-shake.Copy !req
370. A German horse. Ooh.Copy !req
371. Huh?Copy !req
372. Hitler hat?Copy !req
373. Hitler hat?Copy !req
374. Mm.Copy !req
375. Uh-oh.Copy !req
376. New from tamico,Copy !req
377. das fuhrer, the board game!Copy !req
378. Listen to Hitler's orders and survive.Copy !req
379. All players eat one mushroom.Copy !req
380. Yes, mein fuhrer!Copy !req
381. Ugh!Copy !req
382. Progress around the board
using Hitler's dice dome!Copy !req
383. Oh, no!Copy !req
384. I landed on war crimes!Copy !req
385. Take your cyanide
before the allies find you.Copy !req
386. Yes! Honourable death bonus!Copy !req
387. Be the first to escape to ArgentinaCopy !req
388. and live off untold stolen riches!Copy !req
389. Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha!Copy !req
390. Victory.Copy !req
391. Das fuhrer board game, available nowCopy !req
392. at all good pro-Nazi retailers,
from tamico.Copy !req