1. Match point - llsa and Jackson.Copy !req
2. As previously agreed,
the winners are awarded the rightCopy !req
3. to subject the losers
to one dare of their choice,Copy !req
4. to be redeemed at any time.Copy !req
5. Don't screw this up.Copy !req
6. I apologise.Copy !req
7. Hey, llsa, did you listen to
that record I gave you?Copy !req
8. Sort of?Copy !req
9. - You don't like music?
- Hey, llsa...Copy !req
10. Here's your Remigio Matina album.Copy !req
11. It really opened my mind
to easy listening.Copy !req
12. - Everybody sit down!
- Greetings, Colonel.Copy !req
13. I said sit down!Copy !req
14. Now, you know I don't like
to use the sit-down gun,Copy !req
15. but this morning we just don't
have time for mucking about.Copy !req
16. Major Allied cities
have come under attack from...Copy !req
17. Nazi monst...Copy !req
18. Close... your... mouth.Copy !req
19. Nazi monsters.Copy !req
20. No conventional weapons
can stop them.Copy !req
21. And Allied command
was almost ready to surrenderCopy !req
22. until they received a telegram
from this man.Copy !req
23. He calls himself Gibraltar, and claims
to be from the lost city of Atlantis.Copy !req
24. This might sound crazy, but the
Atlanteans have developed a weaponCopy !req
25. that can stop the Nazi monsters.Copy !req
26. All they need is some of our
refined uranium to power it.Copy !req
27. Your mission is to take the uranium
to Atlantis,Copy !req
28. use this weapon to destroy
the Nazi monsters,Copy !req
29. and for the love of God,
damn well kill Hitler.Copy !req
30. There's something I don't like about
this whole caper.Copy !req
31. This is an opportunity to learn from
an alternative civilisation, Claire.Copy !req
32. Mankind has been searching for
Atlantis for hundreds of years.Copy !req
33. I see your meaning, Claire.Copy !req
34. What if there is no Atlantis?Copy !req
35. And this Gibraltar character
is full of...Copy !req
36. Crab!Copy !req
37. - Precisely.
- No, look at that crab!Copy !req
38. Bet you could fry that up
and live off leftovers for a year.Copy !req
39. I think I just found
your dare, guys.Copy !req
40. Don't be a child, Jackson,
we're on a mission.Copy !req
41. Hey, betting on a table ball match
is an unbreakable bond...Copy !req
42. Right, Pierre?Copy !req
43. - It is the sport of kings.
- You want us to go into the water?Copy !req
44. What's the matter, Tucker?
Chicken?Copy !req
45. Nice one, Kilroy!Copy !req
46. I'll get your crab, if it means we can go
on without any more juvenile interruptions.Copy !req
47. - Aw, man!
- Except from Kilroy.Copy !req
48. Radical!Copy !req
49. My God, a shark!Copy !req
50. We have to help her!Copy !req
51. Give it here!Copy !req
52. Ilsa, can't you shoot it
with something?Copy !req
53. Hurry!Copy !req
54. Where else was I supposed
to put the munchies?Copy !req
55. Dr Snack's Jumbo Crunch.Copy !req
56. I'm afraid they're delicious,
my friends.Copy !req
57. Atlantis!Copy !req
58. Claire...Copy !req
59. Greetings, ambassadors.
Welcome to Atlantis.Copy !req
60. Now, let us indulge
in a refreshing beverage.Copy !req
61. - It's all my fault.
- Pardon?Copy !req
62. Er... We ran into some difficulty
on the way here, Captain.Copy !req
63. We lost two of our team.Copy !req
64. He's not taking it very well.Copy !req
65. - It's all my damn fault.
- How tragic indeed.Copy !req
66. But these are the perils of the sea.
You do have the uranium?Copy !req
67. Superb. We can begin
the final alterations to the weapon!Copy !req
68. - No!
- What is the meaning of this?Copy !req
69. - Take it easy.
- Nobody's getting it!Copy !req
70. I killed her!
I killed her...Copy !req
71. And now the world's not worth
living in without her.Copy !req
72. Without this case,
the whole world is going to burnCopy !req
73. and I'm going to let it!Copy !req
74. Hush now, land-walker.Copy !req
75. Let this potion
ease the pain in your heart.Copy !req
76. - Apologies, Captain...
- The pain of loss is a cruel serpent.Copy !req
77. It will take my technicians
several hours to ready the device.Copy !req
78. In the meantime,
I think you should get some rest.Copy !req
79. A quick siesta
would sharpen my senses.Copy !req
80. - Way ahead of ya, buddy.
- You're the best, Kilroy.Copy !req
81. - Tucker...
- I have to save you.Copy !req
82. Tucker!Copy !req
83. Claire!Copy !req
84. - You're alive!
- Why didn't you save me, Tucker?Copy !req
85. - I...
- You were afraid.Copy !req
86. - And now it's too late!
- No! No!Copy !req
87. Hey...Copy !req
88. You know, you're much more
attractive than Claire.Copy !req
89. I guess this is goodbye.Copy !req
90. Hey, Pierre... Pierre!
Wake up, Pierre.Copy !req
91. Can I take batteries
from your remote for my video game?Copy !req
92. You're the best, Kilroy!Copy !req
93. How was your rest?
Do you feel any better, Tucker?Copy !req
94. - She's here.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
95. She's here. She's alive!Copy !req
96. - Who's here?
- Claire!Copy !req
97. - I spoke with her.
- You are having visions.Copy !req
98. This can happen when not accustomed
to high pressures under the ocean.Copy !req
99. Did anyone else have any visions?Copy !req
100. I had some, but it's probably
from smoking all this Thai stick.Copy !req
101. She wasn't a damn vision!
She was real!Copy !req
102. I'm going to find her.Copy !req
103. - It's for his own good.
- You have the deep-sea madness.Copy !req
104. - You'll have to sleep it off.
- I'm not crazy!Copy !req
105. Come, the preparations are complete.Copy !req
106. This fighting machine was developed
by our scientistsCopy !req
107. over the last century
as the ultimate self-defence weapon.Copy !req
108. Now that it is complete, we should
be able to defeat the Nazi monsters.Copy !req
109. This is indeed
an impressive device, Gibraltar.Copy !req
110. Ilsa, is this not a wonderment?Copy !req
111. Ilsa?Copy !req
112. Hey!Copy !req
113. Hello, do you think I could get
some more of this lobster bisque?Copy !req
114. Where are they keeping her?Copy !req
115. Your German is very good.Copy !req
116. Tucker...Copy !req
117. - Hurry up, we don't have much time.
- Wait!Copy !req
118. Jackson?Copy !req
119. My friend!
What is the meaning of this?Copy !req
120. My Fuehrer, it is now truly
the ultimate fighting machine.Copy !req
121. Jackson! Claire!
You are alive!Copy !req
122. Where are we?Copy !req
123. You knew where you were
when you lured me here.Copy !req
124. - What are you talking about?
- What's going on, Adolf?Copy !req
125. What did you do to Claire?
Brainwash her?Copy !req
126. - Is she working for you now?
- Nobody's done anything to me.Copy !req
127. You cloned us!Copy !req
128. They are my children.Copy !req
129. So that vision I had...Copy !req
130. You heartless dog of a man.Copy !req
131. You're tearing the world apart with your
damn monsters. What more do you want?Copy !req
132. - Not so fast, Hitlerino.
- I knew you would save us, Kilroy!Copy !req
133. De nada, compadre.Copy !req
134. Noooooo!Copy !req
135. We need to get the last two clones!Copy !req
136. How do you feel, my friend?Copy !req
137. Hook me up with a Mac and some fries
and I'll be like new.Copy !req
138. - That's the spirit.
- I'm gonna fuckin' die, man!Copy !req
139. No, it will be all right, my friend.Copy !req
140. Nine parts vodka, four parts
grape flavoured fruit drink,Copy !req
141. freeze overnight,
serve in plastic...Copy !req
142. the perfect Beyond Chunderdome.Copy !req
143. Shoot her, Tucker.
No, shoot her, Tucker!Copy !req
144. Shut up! All of you.Copy !req
145. - This is a quite a conundrum.
- Can't we just tie them up?Copy !req
146. We don't have time for prisoners.Copy !req
147. - What's my middle name?
- Felix!Copy !req
148. What's my mortal fear?
Water!Copy !req
149. Well, it seems Gibraltar has copied
their memories perfectly.Copy !req
150. - Then it's impossible.
- Not entirely, my friends.Copy !req
151. Whilst you can copy
the information in someone's brain,Copy !req
152. you cannot copy their emotions.Copy !req
153. This is how
we'll find the imposters.Copy !req
154. I see.Copy !req
155. That was beautiful.Copy !req
156. I wrote that for you, Claire.Copy !req
157. Thanks for the lessons, Pierre.Copy !req
158. Russians don't have emotions.
So the test is no good on her, my friend.Copy !req
159. The cloned llsa will say whatever...Copy !req
160. she thinks I wanna hear
to stay alive.Copy !req
161. But the real llsa...Copy !req
162. I don't know what she wantsCopy !req
163. and I don't think
she'll ever really know.Copy !req
164. So...
Why shouldn't I kill you?Copy !req
165. Too easy.Copy !req
166. So, what was your answer?Copy !req
167. Cinque... Cinque!Copy !req
168. Cinque!Copy !req
169. Cinque!Copy !req
170. Cinque!Copy !req
171. Cinque!Copy !req
172. Oh, no...
We killed Hitler's clone!Copy !req
173. What happened?Copy !req
174. Can we fix it?Copy !req
175. I fear it is too late, my friends.Copy !req
176. Tucker!Copy !req
177. Wake up, Tucker!Copy !req
178. Tucker!Copy !req
179. Not now!Copy !req
180. Tucker...Copy !req
181. Tucker?Copy !req
182. Right then, are we back in business?Copy !req
183. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
184. I know you're all here just
for the drinks, so I'll be brief.Copy !req
185. Only joking.Copy !req
186. Except for Marco Pranzo,
he is just here for the drinks.Copy !req
187. We're all here todayCopy !req
188. to honour the five finest soldiers
I've had the under my command.Copy !req
189. I salute you.Copy !req
190. And now I have the honour
of handing over the formalitiesCopy !req
191. to the President of the World,
Signor Massimiliano Importante.Copy !req
192. Cinque, cinque, cinque, cinque.
Ciao.Copy !req
193. Buona sera.Copy !req
194. Looks like we need to get
some copies cut!Copy !req
195. There's only one.Copy !req
196. And now we dance.Copy !req
197. Are you sick of striking out?Copy !req
198. Moreno pre-lit matches are lit
at the factory for your convenience.Copy !req
199. Moreno pre-lit matches...
keeping you alight.Copy !req
200. - What do you want?
- I want to speak to the manager.Copy !req
201. The manager does not want
to see you.Copy !req